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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 135: "Computer Guru of Santa Fe - 1 Star Review"

Review That Review with Chelsey & Trey
Episode 135: "Computer Guru of Santa Fe - 1 Star Review"


*Please pardon any and all spelling errors!

[00:00:00] THEME SONG: Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] CHELSEY DONN: Hello!

[00:00:31] TREY GERRALD: Hi! And welcome to Review That Review. We are the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing.

That is a 2024 Chelsey Donn.

[00:00:46] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my goodness. And that is a 2024 Trey Gerrald.

[00:00:51] TREY GERRALD: And together, we are 2024.

[00:00:54] VOICEOVER: The Queens,

[00:00:58] TREY GERRALD: Kind 

[00:00:58] CHELSEY DONN: Wow. Kind of worked.

We'll take it.

[00:01:01] TREY GERRALD: Happy New Year!

[00:01:03] CHELSEY DONN: 2024, third year in office. What an accomplishment. How's everyone feeling? Full, stuffed from all the holiday and New Year celebrations,

[00:01:13] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, I'm ready for life to be normal again. It's like we're past No, all the holidays are done. Good. Let's be chill for a while until Valentine's Day. 

[00:01:21] CHELSEY DONN: and then even then, let's keep the chill going as long as possible.

Speaking about things that.

are not chill, Trey, would you like to

[00:01:29] VOICEOVER: Lodge a complaint,

[00:01:31] TREY GERRALD: Yes. Okay. This, here we are. We're in 2024, and I need to complain. Why do planes still charge you for wifi? Why? Why do we have to pay for wifi for a flight that is less than two hours? This is ins, this is insanity. Also, why do airports have a cost for wifi? Why is wifi not just complimentary? Who's making the money?

This is insane. I'm so pissed about it, because I'm gonna have to pay, like, I can't go two hours without Wi Fi, so, I have a problem, and I'm gonna pay, and I'm gonna pay the 7. 99 or the 12. 99 or whatever it is, like, you're gonna get me, but why are we still paying for Wi Fi? Are you kidding me? This is 2024.

[00:02:16] CHELSEY DONN: I'm with you. I think it should be free. I mean, I don't even mind

if it's free and you maybe watch an ad first.

Whatever. I mean, we're in an era where everybody needs it. I think you should be able to pay for premium Wi Fi, but I think base Wi Fi should just be free. It's annoying, like all these upcharges in general, I'm just like, ugh,


[00:02:38] TREY GERRALD: You know, when you said that, you reminded me of when we went on the Virgin cruise, because it's free Wi Fi on the ship, but you can pay for like, premium, and that feels like you're getting something, like, can't flights just do that?

[00:02:51] CHELSEY DONN: yeah, I think it should just be included. Then you buy that go go and flight thing, like I've tried to

buy that one, I've also bought Wi Fi in a plane and then it still doesn't effing work, now I've

paid for it and it doesn't work, now I'm like in the customer service portal trying to get my money back, I mean it is just, we should be at a better place with Wi Fi, like it should be more readily available, it should be better, I mean it's been eons since, I mean

shouldn't we be in a place where it's just,


[00:03:24] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, it doesn't make sense to me that we're still being charged for Wi Fi. I feel like it's just so commonplace now that it should just be part of the plane at this point. Like, and I get that, like, if you can make money, why are they going to let go of that? But it just feels so everyday that I don't understand why we're still paying.

And it frustrates me because I'm always going to fucking pay and I don't like it. So that's my complaint. Can we just have complimentary Wi Fi? Thank you.

[00:03:49] CHELSEY DONN: Thank you! Yeah, that would be nice. It's so funny to me, Trey, because, like, listeners, you don't understand. I mean, I know we've said it a million times, so maybe you do understand, but Trey and I, we don't talk about what his complaint is gonna be, what my review is gonna be, and it's just amazing to me, Trey, that time after time, after time, after time, we are so in sync.

It is

It is honestly a little bit frightening. So with that teaser in mind, should we jump into this online review?

[00:04:21] TREY GERRALD: Yes, I gotta know, let's go.

[00:04:22] CHELSEY DONN: Okay,

[00:04:25] VOICEOVER: Review That Review,

[00:04:28] CHELSEY DONN: as you know, we are your trusty review queens. We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

[00:04:36] TREY GERRALD: We will read you a review, then we break it down and rate the impact of that review on a scale from zero to five crowns. It's a very regal process that we call,

[00:04:45] VOICEOVER: Assess That Kvetch,

[00:04:47] TREY GERRALD: and it's you. What is it? The beautiful T's. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm antsy over here. I gotta know. Tell me. Tell me.

[00:04:55] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, Trey, this is just honestly very strange. So the review this week is a Google review. Okay, it is a One Star Google Review for The Computer Guru of Santa Fe.

[00:05:09] TREY GERRALD: WTF.

[00:05:10] CHELSEY DONN: How weird is that?

I literally was thinking, What have we not done? It's a new year. I wanted to do something different. I wanted to go into the Google Reviews. I picked a random city. My parents had just recently been in Santa Fe. I looked for a computer service because I thought we haven't really done that. Have we?

[00:05:29] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, it's true.

[00:05:31] CHELSEY DONN: And here we are, on the day that I decide to bring in the computer service, your complaint is Wi Fi!

Like, honestly! Alright, so I just wanted to give us a little bit of background of the computer

guru of Santa Fe. His real

name is Steve, he calls himself the guru. On the front page of his website it says, The time has come, the guru is dead. To speak of just one thing, passwords in no other area of personal computing as our changing world becomes so evident as in the rules of the password game. No wonder so many people have a hell of a time with them. And then there's a picture. There's plenty of free parking. The Computer Guru in Santa Fe is open Tuesday, Thursdays and Saturdays from 10 a. m. to 6 p. m., Wednesdays and Fridays from 10 a. m. to 2 p. m. And other days by appointment, and then it says for the newbies, the computer guru is one person, serving Santa Fe in one location since 1996, working hard

to keep Santa Fe computers up and running beautifully and their owners happy, satisfied, I just wanted to point out quickly that something that I found funny is that when I went to this website and clicked on the about page, it says about, this is an example of the WordPress page.

You could edit this to put information about yourself on your site so readers know where you're coming from. You can create as many pages like this on one sub page as you'd like and manage all your content

inside of WordPress. So, honestly, like

[00:07:06] TREY GERRALD: This is the guru of computers 

[00:07:08] CHELSEY DONN: you're a guru. I think you could do better. You got to update your website.

Okay. All right, let's get into it.

[00:07:14] TREY GERRALD: I just remembered it's a one star, but I was thinking like, God, how stra how, like, I would never want to be a computer fixer. Like, oh my God, you would just be dealing with, like, 

[00:07:24] CHELSEY DONN: oh I mean like it's like it's similar to the airport thing, you know, like I always Whenever I go to the airport, I make sure to say to the people that are like checking me. I'm like, so much. Thank you so much. Like people are at their worst at the airport.

People are at their worst When

their devices are not working.


I'm sure Steve deals with a lot. All right, let's hear what Greg, Gregory, sorry, Gregory E.,

[00:07:49] TREY GERRALD: Mm 

[00:07:50] CHELSEY DONN: okay, let's hear what they have to say, One Star Review, Extremely rude and arrogant, Takes advantage of consumers and overvalues his work, Not a guru, but a charlatan, I've given this dude plenty of chances and business in the past, I've even recommended several customers to him, But today?

He hung up on me, claiming that I cut him off in conversation and became aggressive when I asked him how he would diagnose a hardware issue. I'll send my equip out of state for repair now. Thanks for ruining my day.

[00:08:34] TREY GERRALD: Oh boy, oh, okay, well now this is really occurring to me. Is there just no other option? What's, what's going on in Santa Fe? Why can't you go to like, aren't there like computer repair stores? I guess not.

[00:08:48] CHELSEY DONN: I don't know. I guess maybe in Santa Fe, the computer guru has really cornered the market. It's

[00:08:55] TREY GERRALD: I was told.

[00:08:56] CHELSEY DONN: 1996.

[00:08:57] TREY GERRALD: You know what's funny to me is like, I'm all Mac, I'm all Apple, so I think of like, the Genius Bar, and like, people that work at the Mac store, I feel like there's a certain characteristic I place. But, I don't want to say that this is true, but one of the first words here that Gregory mentions is arrogant, and I just thought that was so funny, because they just, they really are, um, I mean, to call yourself a guru,

[00:09:24] CHELSEY DONN: I was gonna say,

[00:09:26] TREY GERRALD: yeah, it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable, like, I would never want to proclaim that, I would, I would want people to say it about me, rather than me proclaiming it, especially with the amount of updates that happen, and the amount of, like, there's so much to know.

[00:09:39] CHELSEY DONN: right, coming from two people who proclaim themselves to be Review Queens,

[00:09:44] TREY GERRALD: Oh shit, I didn't even think about that. Well, we're queens. We're not gurus. We're queens.

[00:09:50] CHELSEY DONN: Queens, there's a

difference, and also, it's all in jest and good fun,

[00:09:54] TREY GERRALD: Although, Review Guru, there's a ring to that.

[00:09:57] CHELSEY DONN: should we change it? No. We could have a resident guru,

[00:10:00] TREY GERRALD: I think in our third year, it's time to rebrand.

[00:10:03] CHELSEY DONN: rebrand, who wants to be the resident guru?

Call in, 1 850 REVIEW ZERO,

[00:10:08] TREY GERRALD: in this conversation of arrogance,

[00:10:11] CHELSEY DONN: yes.

[00:10:12] TREY GERRALD: overvaluing themself, I also, that lines up with my opinion as well, because I feel like oftentimes, the

[00:10:21] CHELSEY DONN: Well, that's the thing. It's like it's hard to trust a mechanic and it's hard to trust someone that's fixing your computer because in both cases You got me by the

balls not to use a heteronormative But

you just do like, you know, I need this computer Maybe I have files on it that I didn't back up like whatever it is Like I I need you so you could tell me that this issue cost a thousand dollars When really, you know, it's only gonna take you two minutes And I have to just take your word for that, you know, it's, it's, it's really hard to quantify


[00:10:57] TREY GERRALD: exactly right. You mentioned the motherboard, I don't know what's 

[00:11:01] CHELSEY DONN: right? And if the guru is the only gig in town,

[00:11:04] TREY GERRALD: Which it sounds that way because it says they'll take it out of state. That's so weird. I thought Santa Fe was like, part of like, Silicon Valley. I mean, not really, I didn't think that, but like, I feel like it was very tech savvy. Like, I thought people were like, clicked in 

[00:11:17] CHELSEY DONN: I don't think so, more deserting,

[00:11:20] TREY GERRALD: Oh, got it.

[00:11:21] CHELSEY DONN: What do we think about not a guru, but a charlatan,

[00:11:24] TREY GERRALD: I mean, that is like, that is slicing someone with that sword. To call them a charlatan?

[00:11:30] CHELSEY DONN: right? That's gotta be like the biggest insult you could give a guru, And

then, What do you think about I've given this dude plenty of chances in business in the past?

[00:11:40] TREY GERRALD: it sounds like there's a real history that's being spelled out here, and it seems like the conversation on the phone just really went poorly, which is, I mean, I feel like I kind of, I don't know, I feel like I believe Gregory here. It feels truthful to me. It doesn't feel shady because they're really pointing out that they, like, have used the services for a very long time and they've recommended people, like, that's speaking to, I have such an experience.

I am a guru on the subject of the computer guru. I can tell you from an extensive, this isn't a one off experience where I called them with a question and they hung up on me. Like it feels valuable to me.

[00:12:21] CHELSEY DONN: And the thanks for ruining my day. I mean, I do get the impression that, like, Gregory got off the phone with a computer guru, was just seeing red,

went to Google, wrote this review as a therapeutic exercise,

and just had to get it out


[00:12:38] TREY GERRALD: It does feel retaliatory.

[00:12:40] CHELSEY DONN: Right? I mean,

it just feels like I went and needed to write this review right away, but that being said, I get it, like, I would be upset if I, you know, had referred people to someone and then they just, like, hung up on me, I also think that there's this weird thing with people and computers when you ask them questions, like, I asked the hardware question

and then he hung up on me, like, I don't know if it's like a, you should know or what, like, why would you hang up

[00:13:07] TREY GERRALD: Well, maybe they felt like Gregory was pushing them or testing them or not trusting them or crossing the line. I don't know. Like, I can see how it also maybe is a little shady, but I also kind of get like, I don't know, a hardware issue. That seems so intense to me that it's like, and if you hang up on me and I've sent people to you and like i'm asking you questions about an upcoming job for you like that's rude i mean that's crazy

[00:13:32] CHELSEY DONN: agree. Do we think that this review is shady at all? Like, we said we're buying, we're buying Gregory is truthful, but do we think that it's shady?

[00:13:40] TREY GERRALD: i think it is a little bit shady in the sense that it's like warranted in a way it's like if if this is the one guy in town and they're holding shit over you because like they're mistreating you because they know they're the monopoly then it's sort of like well i have to get your attention somehow

[00:13:57] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. And then there's something about the, like, hung up on me claiming that I cut him off in conversation. Like, ugh, that just seems so gross to me. I can totally imagine this happening

where like, blah, blah, blah, don't cut me off. Don't cut me off.

You know, like, it just, it's definitely painting a specific picture.

[00:14:15] TREY GERRALD: yeah.

[00:14:16] CHELSEY DONN: Based on the details. So I am kind of thinking that it's truthful and then in terms of the common or fluke Typical thing. I mean, what do we think?

[00:14:27] TREY GERRALD: It's a good question because, I don't know, I, for whatever reason, I really get a picture painted here from Gregory that like, when you're the one person, it's sort of like, you have no checks and balances. So, it kind of makes me feel like, if they hung up on Gregory, for whatever reason, I believe in Gregory.

So, it makes me feel like, I don't know that I need to go to the computer guru because they might hang up on me. And I feel like I'm pretty level headed. I kind of feel like there's an impact for me. I don't know. What do you think

[00:14:59] CHELSEY DONN: I Agree, like I think that maybe the computer guru is kind of homogeny, but everyone's just like

oh the computer guru like I'm gonna put up with it anyway,

[00:15:09] TREY GERRALD: He's bad with people, but he's good with computers, 

[00:15:12] CHELSEY DONN: that's what I think. Do we feel humored


[00:15:15] TREY GERRALD: do. I think it was funny because the whole charlatan thing the arrogance It made me laugh and it made me and I was definitely entertained.

[00:15:23] CHELSEY DONN: I agree. I think there was a nice little chuckle in there. Are we, what are we left with?

[00:15:29] TREY GERRALD: I'm wondering if I would if it would stop me. I mean if they're the only option Then I may proceed with caution thinking like he'll treat me differently or I might just I don't know But I'm Apple so I feel like there's probably an Apple Store somewhere in the state

[00:15:44] CHELSEY DONN: Right. All right. I think I can crown Gregory.

[00:15:47] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, me too. 

[00:15:48] CHELSEY DONN: crown him? 

[00:15:49] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, let's do it. So, Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards, and in an effort to be fair and not influence one another, we will simultaneously reveal our rating!

[00:16:01] VOICEOVER: The Queens are tabulating, Potential school,

[00:16:08] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, I'm holding up four crowns. Trey's holding up three and a half. Trey, why three and a half crowns for Gregory?

[00:16:14] TREY GERRALD: I mean, I think it's a pretty persuasive review. It does feel retaliatory, which makes me feel a little bit like there's more question here. There might be a little more shade than at first it occurred to me, and I could have used a little more detail, perhaps like, this is how they always are in my extensive history with Working with the Computer Guru.

Why does this always happen? This is so obnoxious. I implore you, if you're reading this, just send it, like, there could be a little more, um, calmness, perhaps, because it does feel, I agree, like, they saw Red and went and wrote a review. Why, so I said three and a half, a little more than halfway, because I think it might have an impact on me, but I, if I'm in this town and there's no one else, like, your hands are sort of tied, so I don't know.

Why did you say four?

[00:17:01] CHELSEY DONN: I said four because I think it's impactful and I definitely, for whatever reason, believe Gregory, but I left that one crown similarly just because I think that this is retaliatory, right? I

[00:17:14] TREY GERRALD: an I in there, retaliatory, not retaliatory.

[00:17:17] CHELSEY DONN: Retali I'm not sure, guys, but I do think that there's something about this that feels impulsive, and like I've written it right away, and I don't know exactly what went down, similarly, I feel like I wish I had more information about the history,

if this is really, truly coming from someone that referred them out all the time, I, I don't know why, but I just want to hear, like, I ran out of memory, and I brought, brought it in, and he replaced the memory card, but, Blah, blah, blah happened.

Like I just want a little bit more specific information. It just feels a little generalized rant. Maybe I should have honestly gone three and a half, but I went for four because I was a little bit humored by Gregory as

well. So four crowns for Gregory, but not a four.

[00:18:01] VOICEOVER: There's a reply!

[00:18:03] TREY GERRALD: I had a feeling. I gotta hear the other side of this, cause I, I'm ready to be duped. Or not! 

[00:18:09] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. Buckle in. Here we go. So this is written by the owner, Steve, the computer guru of Santa Fe.

Here we go. 

[00:18:18] TREY GERRALD: I have a very specific feeling of how this is gonna go. Oh 

[00:18:22] CHELSEY DONN: Alright, we'll see if you're right. Exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point,

[00:18:30] TREY GERRALD: Come on.

[00:18:31] CHELSEY DONN: Can you say, quote, PROJECTION?

[00:18:35] TREY GERRALD: Ooh!

[00:18:36] CHELSEY DONN: caps. Sure you can. A common failing among those like this guy,

[00:18:43] TREY GERRALD: Oh no,

[00:18:44] CHELSEY DONN: who lead unexamined lot.

[00:18:47] TREY GERRALD: no,

[00:19:11] CHELSEY DONN: hired to fix, and get this, Here's the laugh, expects me, to tell him, over the phone, out of his computer, isn't that a hoot? Does he ask me about products and services? No. My fees? No. My schedule? No. Does he ask what a repair might cost or how long it might take? No!

[00:19:51] TREY GERRALD: I 

[00:20:00] CHELSEY DONN: to perform such repairs? No! Rather, he asks me, rudely and arrogantly, interrupting me when he doesn't hear what he wants to hear, how to fix his computer! Over the telephone, Oy vey, where do these people come from? What is wrong with them exactly?

[00:20:34] TREY GERRALD: oh Jesus Christ,

[00:20:35] CHELSEY DONN: Why don't they go back to where they came from?

Did their parents drop them on the head when they were infants? Are they broke, financially strapped, and acting as parasites on the

body economic?

[00:20:53] TREY GERRALD: what?

[00:20:54] CHELSEY DONN: One has to wonder. The false and slanderous claims presented

here with no evidence are purely a product of the author's fevered imagination, have no basis in fact, and are particularly reprehensible. I am proud of my business and my work. For every BS claim represented, I could provide 500 proofs that they are wrong using hundreds of happy, satisfied customers as examples.

[00:21:37] TREY GERRALD: Thank you so much 

[00:21:38] CHELSEY DONN: the prescriptions I give my patients 

[00:21:41] TREY GERRALD: next video! 

[00:21:44] CHELSEY DONN: reliable, creative, and well thought out. I should know.

I'm the one who stands behind all my work. With a warranty superior to and more generous than any company you can think of, for example, who else warrants refurbished computers for one year, same as new, only the computer guru, anyway, personally and professionally, I can tell anyone reading this with all honesty, People like this are intensely annoying and one gets well and truly sick to death of their fix it for me on the phone so I don't

have to bring it in and pay you

anything, phone call, a plague, without the slightest doubt.

When our car needs work, we bring it into a mechanic and pay the mechanic's fee. We don't call the mechanic on the phone and expect him to stop his work and walk us through a free repair, anyway. My business has been going strong for nearly a quarter century and I have a list of happy clients as long as this guy's chutzpah

and wrong headed sense of injured, infantile, entitlement is big, fat, and ugly.

I was consulting at high levels for some of the world's largest and most respected computer companies in the

1980s for 200 an hour

before this guy was born. Jealous of my success and my accomplishments?

And annoyed that he can't grab free and easy repairs from me? Probably,

yeah, probably, 

[00:23:44] TREY GERRALD: Go to hell. What the fuck? You I mean, I have so many things to say here. 

[00:23:51] CHELSEY DONN: dive in, 

[00:23:52] TREY GERRALD: computer guru does a great job of presenting the evidence that they claim Gregory doesn't provide, because the computer guru sounds so fucking arrogant and so overvaluing their own expertise. Like, I, thank God for the Ever seek any assistance from the computer guru.

Now, I also want to say, I also understand, and I think that the computer guru points it out, what I thought would be the end of the reply, but it's actually in the middle. It sounds like a huge longstanding history of the annoyance of, I do not provide services over the phone. So, you can't anticipate me walking you through, that's the whole point of my business, you have to come in.

Like, it just sounds like a quarter century of the computer guru dealing with that, and you can call Apple and they'll talk you through, so I understand why people do that, but Jesus Christ, and the most offensive to me,

[00:24:57] CHELSEY DONN: yeah,

[00:24:58] TREY GERRALD: is the analogy of, oh, they don't even say it's an analogy, the computer guru saying the prescriptions they give their clients, as if they are a fucking doctor, their patients, go to fucking hell, I am so turned off and repulsed, now zooming out and looking at both sides, I think both of these people are a little bit guilty, but, boy oh boy, Boy, oh boy, just the typed reply here, I wanted to cut them off!

Jesus Christ, shut the fuck up!

[00:25:30] CHELSEY DONN: I

[00:25:30] TREY GERRALD: Like, talk about showing your true colors, like, I would never, ever want to go to this computer guru, I am so turned off and repulsed. Ew, ew, ew.

[00:25:40] CHELSEY DONN: yes. I'm with you. I mean, I just think, way to prove the point. I mean, really, yes, could Gregory have provided more specifics? Sure, but they start their review by saying extremely rude and arrogant. And I think that that is,

you know, Very clear. Like, that is the attitude of the computer guru. And I have to say, and I didn't really go into it because I just saw this, this one reply and was like, I'm bringing it in. I did see that every one star review had a lengthy reply from the computer guru. So it's not like Gregory just got the short end of the stick here for, you know, decades of pent up aggression that we're pointing at Gregory, which, you know, maybe we should

point at a therapist or something instead.

Clearly, this is how the computer guru replies when they're getting bad feedback. I mean, we were punching down, we're saying where they dropped on their head, you know, like, 

[00:26:43] TREY GERRALD: that same sentence, I, it made me very uncomfortable, like, is this a racist comment? Go back where you come 

[00:26:49] CHELSEY DONN: right? What does that even mean? 

[00:26:52] TREY GERRALD: I don't know, but that is like, so below the belt, 

[00:26:54] CHELSEY DONN: Are they broke, financially strapped and acting as parasites on the body economic?

[00:27:01] TREY GERRALD: Unexamined lives? What? We're talking about a computer. Like, it's 

[00:27:05] CHELSEY DONN: just like, you take yourself way way, way, too seriously. Like,

[00:27:11] TREY GERRALD: And, and, standing ovation, I'm applauding you. Way to work in that you worked for these companies that paid you 200 an hour. Like, what? Like, you're so full of yourself.

[00:27:20] CHELSEY DONN: And I, listen, like, I think this is a typical example of you could


[00:27:26] TREY GERRALD: PR?

[00:27:28] CHELSEY DONN: no, you could have won the argument, if you're right, if we are to take you at your word, and Gregory really was just calling to try to get a freebie on the

phone, there are ways that you could have

responded to get that across that would leave me still on your side and being like, you know what, maybe, like, He's right.

Maybe this is really just about a phone call and not about like him ruining his computer. Maybe I shouldn't listen to Gregory and I should go to him anyway, because yeah, I can understand how that would be kind of annoying if someone was calling me and asking me to give them free advice over the phone.

All right, I'll still check him out, but he didn't do that. He lost his audience so profoundly. Through his own words, how are you going to fight against someone that's calling you angry and arrogant and whatever with an arrogant and angry and aggressive


I mean, how do you expect anyone to want to work with you? Everything that was said in this reply, as a business, I'm like, disturbed. Not to mention, sir, like, you're so great at computers and you have a WordPress holding page.

[00:28:37] TREY GERRALD: Woo! 

[00:28:38] CHELSEY DONN: about section, those who live in glass houses should not throw stones. This is 101 what a owner reply 

[00:28:47] TREY GERRALD: Should not, exactly. And that is like the disappointing part here is like, I understand where the computer guru is coming from. I get it. You should be able to notice that this is an ongoing concern and create something and put something in place so that when this occurs, you don't have to be so angry about it.

You can just say, we don't do consultations over the 

[00:29:09] CHELSEY DONN: don't answer your phone. Have it go

to a voicemail. It just seems ridiculous. It's hard for me to believe anyone is happy after dealing with someone with this attitude and I do feel like there's a lot of psychological ish going on here.

[00:29:23] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, it is interesting they point out that Gregory doesn't have any evidence, but they keep saying how they could show evidence, but they're 

[00:29:29] CHELSEY DONN: They're not. 

[00:29:30] TREY GERRALD: I mean,

[00:29:30] CHELSEY DONN: I just think they lost the argument from the second they started with exclamation point, exclamation point,

exclamation point, and like all these all caps and exclamation points throughout the review. It's just so ranty.

[00:29:42] TREY GERRALD: No, this is a, this is a fail. I would love to crown this and talk 

[00:29:46] CHELSEY DONN: Yes, please, let's do it.

[00:29:48] VOICEOVER: The queens are tabulating.

[00:29:50] TREY GERRALD: Trey, Chelsey, Review Queen, One Star Zinger, 

[00:29:55] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, I'm holding up zero crowns, Trey is holding up a half crown, Trey, you go first. Why a half crown for Steve?

[00:30:01] TREY GERRALD: The half crown is because it answers the impact of the original. Like, they are the supporting evidence themselves for Gregory. It's such a turnoff. If this is the way you communicate about someone who has been an ongoing customer, you're not getting my business.

I mean, it's just disgusting. It's so spirally and a painted picture of the way someone sees the world and

I'm, I'm out. I'm gonna send it out of state too. Bye.

Why did you say zero?

[00:30:32] CHELSEY DONN: just because like the intended impact was so not achieved. The reason why this reply option exists is for you to take back the narrative, and we've seen it done beautifully before.

This was not the case.

This was really Swinging things in the opposite direction, If I wasn't sure whether or not I was gonna maybe give you a chance when I read the review, I know for sure that I'm not going to, and that Was not your intention.

I don't like your nasty reply, and I'm not gonna use your service. So,

sorry, Steve, the computer guru, zero crown.

[00:31:10] TREY GERRALD: This was not, in Computer Guru's words, a hoot.

[00:31:15] CHELSEY DONN: Not a hoot.

[00:31:16] TREY GERRALD: Wow, I love that you just randomly stumbled upon that. What a goldmine.

[00:31:19] CHELSEY DONN: Exactly. You know what I feel like I feel overcome by like, ah, just like heatedness. We just need to like get it all out. And with that in mind and the idea of sort of saging the space and making the energy bright and clean, should we move on to the most regal portion of our show, Trey? Who are you inducting for?

[00:31:41] VOICEOVER: My Royal Highness.

[00:31:43] TREY GERRALD: I'm shaking my head over here because I literally, today, am going to induct the Volcano Candles from Anthropologie, and you're talking about saging out the space, I have to induct the Volcano Candles by the company Capri, I think is what it's called, but they sell them at Anthropologie, because they are the most pungent and the beautiful scents candles I think that have ever existed.

Do you know what I'm talking about, the Volcano Candles?

[00:32:10] CHELSEY DONN: One thousand percent.

[00:32:11] TREY GERRALD: I have been buying these candles for a really long time. Have I ever inducted these? Wait, now I'm having a fear. Because I even will buy them on Amazon in multi packs, because it's like the perfect gift to just bring to someone, like if you're going to a party or something, so I just always have them sitting around, like, ready to gift.

And they last for so long, and the company, this happens to be like a special pink one. But, they always have really beautiful designs, like, even like the standard blue one, God, I love these candles, they just really do their job without yelling at you, so,

[00:32:41] CHELSEY DONN: right? Unlike,

leave the Computer 

[00:32:44] TREY GERRALD: like a vault, so for that reason, I really want to induct, Volcano, Capri, Candle Making Company, you gotta get them, you can get them in Anthropology, if you don't know what I'm talking about, it will change your life, and for that reason, you are my Royal Highness.

[00:33:00] CHELSEY DONN: Yes, I love that. I'm obsessed with the volcano candle as well. I have a little something that I'll share in Patreon about that. Good induction.

[00:33:08] TREY GERRALD: Thank you, well we did a queen, that is another round on the RUARQ, Ferris wheel of charlatanism.

[00:33:14] CHELSEY DONN: Thank you for joining us today. If you like what you heard, please tell a friend.

[00:33:18] TREY GERRALD: If you did not like what you heard, go buy a volcano candle and tell an enemy. Alright, this is also a little bizarro, on this week's After Show Pod, Chelsey, I have brought in a Goodreads One Star Review for The Complete Works of William Shakespeare. 

[00:33:35] CHELSEY DONN: Wow. I wonder why this was set.

[00:33:41] TREY GERRALD: you have any extensive knowledge of William Shakespeare?

[00:33:45] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my god, Trey. Do you know this story? I mean, first of all, I went to a psychic who told me that I was Shakespeare in a past life.

[00:33:55] TREY GERRALD: Oh my god, I forgot, oh 

[00:33:58] CHELSEY DONN: I kind of believe her just based on everything else that she was telling me. And I also have like a lot of writing anxiety. So that sort of makes sense. Um, so that is for that.

[00:34:11] TREY GERRALD: I wonder that, too. To our Royal Charlotte en listeners,

[00:34:17] CHELSEY DONN: Ignore the haters. You're an Italian Shakespeare Queen! Sorry,

[00:34:22] TREY GERRALD: gender nonspecific Doth Queen,

[00:34:30] VOICEOVER: Sign up directly on Apple Podcast to hear our weekly members only after show. Unlock additional benefits when you become a Patreon slash patreon. Follow us on all the socials at the review queens and join our mailing Our kvetch line is open 24 7 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.

You never visit, you never write. Give us a call now.

[00:34:53] CHELSEY DONN: There's like a little part of me that's afraid that Steve is gonna come for us.

[00:34:57] TREY GERRALD: I know, I was thinking that, too. I was like, if they find this,

[00:35:01] CHELSEY DONN: well, you know, I still stand by everything that we said.

[00:35:04] TREY GERRALD: Steve has their opinion and we have ours.

[00:35:06] CHELSEY DONN: That's right. Okay, bring it on.

[00:35:09] TREY GERRALD: You can reach us at um, ChelseyDonn at gmail. com.

[00:35:18] CHELSEY DONN: You little shit.

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.



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