TRANSCRIPT of Episode 31 : "American Girl Doll / Aldi Grocery"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 31 : "American Girl Doll / Aldi Grocery"


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

RTR 31

[00:00:00] VOICEOVER: [Theme Song]

[00:00:30] CHELSEY DONN: Hi.

[00:00:32] TREY GERRALD: Well, hello. Hello listeners. Welcome to Review That Review. We are the podcast dedicated to reviewing.

[00:00:38] CHELSEY DONN: Reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scaping and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:50] TREY GERRALD: That's Chelsey Donn!

[00:00:52] CHELSEY DONN: And that's Trey Gerrald.

[00:00:55] TREY GERRALD: And together we are:

[00:00:57] VOICEOVER: the Review Queens.

[00:01:01] TREY GERRALD: And if you want to support the show while getting bonus and exclusive content, including a members only after show podcast, visit our Patreon page at Chelsey girl. How in the world is your first week , of the new year goin, diva?

[00:01:20] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my goodness. I gotta say, you know, when you have those weeks, when it's like, you just feel behind, already on like Monday, you know what I'm talking about? That's what I feel like. I feel like I'm just like running out of time. Like what's happening like times starting and concluding all at once! New year. I don't know. It just feels like there's a lot in my brain that I need to account for. Feeling a little overwhelmed, but you know, getting through it, how's your week going?

[00:01:49] TREY GERRALD: It's interesting. Maybe there's something in the air because I had to make a, um, an appointment for hunter at the vet. the location is literally a block from our house, but they have a 24 hour emergency vet that's in a different town. So I like made an appointment. Accidentally for the one that's half an hour away. And then I like tried to change it. You can't change it online. So then you have to call and then no one answered. So then someone finally called me back and they were like, we can't make appointments for that other location, but I didn't want to cancel this without speaking with you, in case it's like time sensitive. And I was like, no, no, no, go ahead and cancel it. So then I had to like call the actual location. That's a block from my house and they're going to see him tomorrow morning. So at like-

[00:02:28] CHELSEY DONN: and that's just one item on the to-do list. It turns into like half the day and exactly Trey that's exactly what I'm feeling is like each item on my to-do list that should take two seconds is for some reason taking half the day, you know?

[00:02:42] TREY GERRALD: And like I got an email multiple times. It's like this appointment is coming up. But then there's no like link to like click and be done. So I thought that was already complicated. And then they're like, oh, we can't even like help you call this other number anyway. It's totally fine.

[00:02:57] CHELSEY DONN: This is all feeling like very complainy.

[00:02:59] TREY GERRALD: You know, I think we're launching in, although I have a very specific complaint to share,

[00:03:04] CHELSEY DONN: no, I have one as well, but I'm just saying we're really, we usually do that, like twist of like now that we've been so optimistic about how our new year's resolutions are going, let's complain, but you know, it's okay. Like sometimes it's a kvetcher day.

[00:03:19] TREY GERRALD: Well, let me, you just teed me up because

[00:03:21] Lodge A Complaint!

[00:03:21] TREY GERRALD: Chelsey, is there anything that you would like to

[00:03:23] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint?

[00:03:25] TREY GERRALD: about?

[00:03:26] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, there is Trey. So this complaint It's just like, it seems very obvious, like so obvious that it was like, have we talked about this already? So, you know, when someone says to you like, oh Trey, you look tired.

[00:03:40] TREY GERRALD: Oh, God,

[00:03:41] CHELSEY DONN: Mmm-hmmm. Why are we still doing that? Like, it's become such a part of pop culture of everything that we all know what it means. When you tell someone they look tired, we know that you're telling them them, that they look like crap. And I just think we need to put an end to this once. And for, I'm not going to say the person that asked me if I was tired today because it's unimportant, but somebody did ask me if I was tired today, which yeah, I am tired a little bit.

[00:04:07] CHELSEY DONN: However, I think there's better ways of addressing this concern. why can't you say, Hey, what's going on? Or, you know, it seems like maybe you have a lot on your plate or, you know, I'm feeling really overwhelmed right now. How are you feeling with life? I don't know. There's like other ways of getting to the core of the issue if you are in fact concerned about my sleep schedule, maybe a part of me felt good today and now you're telling me I look tired and now I know I look haggared and bad. So I'm going to complain about it, Trey.

[00:04:39] TREY GERRALD: Yes. I have encountered that as well. It isn't a question. Are you feeling tired? It's declaring that you appear a certain way. So then how do you respond to, I actually have a very funny, well, okay. This is making me think of eight different things, but before I forget this, I once was in Key West in the pool and someone was visiting Key West that's friends with David from a long time ago. So we're, kibbutzing in the pool talking whatever. And he talks about his sister and he's Jewish and his sister's name was like, I who knows. Anyway-

[00:05:09] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah.

[00:05:10] TREY GERRALD: What I was saying was, oh, like usually Jews name after someone who's who has lived. And so we repeat a lot of names and so, so I was just like, oh, that doesn't sound like a Jewish name. And he said, okay. And I thought it was like the most brilliant response because it's like, I don't have to, oh, you look tired. Okay.

[00:05:32] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:05:33] TREY GERRALD: I don't have to be a responsible for explaining it. I don't have to be responsible for addressing anything that you just said. It also was a little bit blunt and direct to be like, okay. Anyway,

[00:05:43] CHELSEY DONN: The person said it like in a way that was sort of feigning concern a little bit like, oh, you look tired and not for whatever reason, just like ticked me off even more because I'm like, you're why are we making this about the way that I look like if you're sensing an energy for me that like you could tell, I'm sort of spinning my wheels, which I am, you know, why can't we just go right into that?

[00:06:06] CHELSEY DONN: Why does it have to be about the way that I look don't even feign concern? Like if it's an older person, that's like, A'. you look tired like that? It's like, okay, like you're just older and like that's a semi generational thing. So whatever you know?

[00:06:20] TREY GERRALD: Oh, okay. Good complaint. I hear you. And it also is a complaint of mine. Yes. I agree. I don't know how we haven't gotten there yet.

[00:06:27] CHELSEY DONN: Right? It doesn't. It just seems like something we would have already talked about. I could really use one of those calm commercials right now, you know? Nice exhale. So Trey, tell us it's time for you to have your exhale moment Lodge your complaint.

[00:06:43] TREY GERRALD: All right. So this is piggybacking off of My Royal Highness last week. And then I posed the question. Wait, did I ever Lodge this as a complaint? Because I do love confetti and I love glitter.

[00:06:55] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah.

[00:06:55] TREY GERRALD: But I have a complaint about this trope slash trend that has emerged on the Broadway stage where the finale of the musical, the button. Shoots off confetti cannons.

[00:07:11] CHELSEY DONN: Sure.

[00:07:12] TREY GERRALD: I hate it. And I don't want to get too inside baseball. I also, I'm never going to be like a Broadway musical theater celebrity. So I don't know why I'm concerned about speaking out of school, but I can directly attach this to a very famous Tony Award winning. I'm just going to say it.

[00:07:33] TREY GERRALD: This is a Jerry Mitchell STI where confetti cannons, shoot out into the audience. I think what I don't like about it is it feels cheap to me. It feels like a cheap way to elicit joy from the audience at the very end of the show. So that people are like, right as they're like getting ready to applaud the cast members and then leave the stage. And it's like, you end on a big bang because if you don't like the beginning, at least you walk out feeling happy and that's, the just feels cheap. So I collected a little list of musicals off the top of my head with a little, a little guidance from my friend Marc, and a little guidance from my friend, Rachel, we all thought of these same shows-

[00:08:15] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. Give me the list.

[00:08:16] TREY GERRALD: Okay. Famously the end of Hairspray.

[00:08:20] CHELSEY DONN: I was going to say Hairspray.

[00:08:21] TREY GERRALD: Yes. Yeah, I get it. SpongeBob. Okay. Sure. It's a kid thing. Shrek. Okay. Yeah. It's kids. Okay. Sure. Maybe Matilda, an adult musical based on a child's story. That's a little too heavy for, I mean, whatever Spamalot, kind of makes sense. Maybe Monty Python. Sure. Maybe Priscilla at that kind of makes sense. It's like drag Queens-

[00:08:44] CHELSEY DONN: I like Priscilla.

[00:08:45] TREY GERRALD: Kinky Boots. Also Jerry Mitchell,

[00:08:47] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah..

[00:08:48] TREY GERRALD: Kinky Boots has the same exact ending as La Cage. All of a sudden, there's this big production number that doesn't resolve anything, but we like scream and clap. And I love all of that. Moulin Rouge. Kind of makes sense. The whole point is it's a spectacle and Frozen, I think is the most appropriate cause they shot out snow confetti, which I think textually, Elsa shoots snow. It makes sense.

[00:09:09] CHELSEY DONN: So that makes sense.

[00:09:11] TREY GERRALD: Spiderman.

[00:09:12] CHELSEY DONN: This is making me think of something else with this complaint that I think is really interesting because I think what's interesting about the Broadway show thing is the waste, right? Because this is eight shows a week of these confetti things going off. How much waste is that? That just seems like that's a lot of waste

[00:09:31] TREY GERRALD: Um, I wonder if there's a way to recycle it. Like if they can like sweep it up?

[00:09:35] CHELSEY DONN: No! You can't recycle it. No,

[00:09:37] TREY GERRALD: I don't know. I mean, I think the streamers, cause a lot of them are streamers too where they're like several feet long. Like, I don't know how you recycle that. I don't know. But speaking of this, there was this play called The Humans. there was a scene where the like sister character comes in and she's holding like a 12 pack of toilet paper and they rip open the plastic. And I still think about it to this day, how I

[00:10:04] CHELSEY DONN: need toilet paper? Like did they just have a million things of toilet paper, maybe every single show somebody else got to go home with with some toilet paper.

[00:10:14] TREY GERRALD: They donate, I don't know. Or maybe they just have like a plastic wrap machine in the back, like, but that's literally, I don't remember what happened next. I can't tell you what happened in that scene.

[00:10:23] CHELSEY DONN: Because you were distracted by that.

[00:10:24] TREY GERRALD: The whole time.

[00:10:26] CHELSEY DONN: I will say I have been on the receiving end of that adrenaline, so I understand the impulse, but now I don't think I'll ever be able to think of it other than the context of, wow. There's all these Broadway shows that are doing this eight shows a week. How much confetti is that that's too much confetti over.

[00:10:44] TREY GERRALD: Right. But maybe it's already recycled paper. That's who knows. Honestly, I just want to bring it up because it's something that bothers me because it feels like a trope. Now I know that when I saw hairspray and it was a phenomenon. Yeah. Yeah. It w it felt new. I don't know if it had been done before. I don't know about when I don't know who created the confetti cannon and Broadway musicals, but now it's like, I I'm fairly certain. If I'm going to see a Jerry Mitchell musical, there's going to be a confetti in my lap at some point. So it's like, that is my complaint. It's like the predictability, the trope, the overuse, it's not special anymore. It's predictable. That's my complaint. </