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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 1: "Fifty Shades of Grey / Central Park Zoo"

Updated: Sep 17, 2021

Transcript of Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald Episode 1 "Fifty Shades of Grey / Central Park Zoo" for the differently abled and those who prefer to read.

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn and Trey Gerrald

Episode 1

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore,

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose,

Who's views win, which ones lose.

Online haters, their comin' for you,

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

TREY: [00:00:30] Hello!

CHELSEY: [00:00:31] Hi!

TREY: [00:00:32] Oh my goodness.

CHELSEY: [00:00:34] It's Episode one!

TREY: [00:00:36] Here we are. Welcome to Review That Review! The podcast dedicated to reviewing...

CHELSEY: [00:00:43]! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious, scathing, and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

TREY: [00:00:55] That's true. That's Chelsey Donn

CHELSEY: [00:00:58] And that's Trey [00:01:00] Gerrald.

TREY: [00:01:00] and together. We're

VOICEOVER: [00:01:02] The Review Queens!

TREY: [00:01:06] Here we are. Chelsey episode UNO.

CHELSEY: [00:01:09] Yay. I cannot believe it.

TREY: [00:01:11] And all the listeners are here. Thank you for being here and listening to episode one, we, um, are so excited to finally be premiering the podcast. I figured that for this first episode, we can just take a brief little moment up here at the top, to explain who we are and then we'll jump right in. So you're not just listening to a boring infomercial at the beginning when you don't know who we are.

CHELSEY: [00:01:33] I think that's a great idea. So who, who are we?

TREY: [00:01:36] well, I'm Trey Gerrald, and I am a actor writer, sometimes funny person, and now a newly appointed Review Queen. I'm from Columbia, South Carolina. I live in New York City and , I've been here for almost 11 years. Who are you?

CHELSEY: [00:01:54] I am Chelsey Donn. I'm also an actor writer, comedian. , I live in Los [00:02:00] Angeles. I've also been here almost 11 years, which is crazy. Grew up on the east coast, right outside Philadelphia. And just here to do the thing, you know

TREY: [00:02:10] Go pirates or Buccaneers or what's Philly?

CHELSEY: [00:02:13] Definitely not pirates or Buccaneers. Phillies? Is that what your ...

TREY: [00:02:16] I don't know. I don't

CHELSEY: [00:02:18] ...Phillies, Sixers, Eagles?

TREY: [00:02:19] Are any of those, right? I don't know. I don't follow sports. Oh, I'm thinking of Cinc-- wait

CHELSEY: [00:02:25] Pittsburgh?

TREY: [00:02:25] Pittsburgh is the pirates, right? I've been to a pirate's game. Oy, okay. Now people hate me. All right. So I was thinking we met, I think the year was 2017. Is that right? I should have gone back and looked.

CHELSEY: [00:02:38] As my memory serves. Yeah, it was the summer. I believe, of 2017


TREY: [00:02:44] I don't know. It was LA it's hard to tell.

CHELSEY: [00:02:46] I don't know. It was nice out.

TREY: [00:02:47] yeah, we met because I was spending a little time in Los Angeles and our mutual friend, Emily Kratter. Hey!

CHELSEY: [00:02:54] Hey, shout out.

TREY: [00:02:56] She was like, you have to meet my friend, Chelsey Donn, you're going to be [00:03:00] obsessed with her. And you know, that can go one of two ways...

... now here we are...gosh. Now it's 2021.

CHELSEY: [00:03:08] Yeah, It was the same thing on my end. Emily was like, you're going to love Trey. You guys are just going to be quick friends. And I was like, I trust Emily with probably my life. So I was like, if Emily signs off on this human, they're probably pretty great. And thank God you lived up to the hype.

TREY: [00:03:25] Oh, phew!

CHELSEY: [00:03:26] Yeah.

TREY: [00:03:27] Uh, so little quick notes here. So we have spent the last couple of months, really hashing things out, getting comfortable, and we have been recording mock episodes that will probably never see the light of day.

CHELSEY: [00:03:41] Maybe!

TREY: [00:03:41] And it's been maybe, maybe there'll be bonus content on our pateron.

CHELSEY: [00:03:45] Could be.

TREY: [00:03:46] And, uh, this has been like a really fun experience working with you.

And so I hope that all of the listeners equally enjoy diving into this outrageous world of online reviews.

oh, [00:04:00] wait, I do want to quickly ask, are you someone who partakes in online reviews? Are you a person that is in this world already?

CHELSEY: [00:04:08] I'm an avid reader of online reviews. I wouldn't say I'm as much of a writer, but I read all the time. I'm constantly dissecting reviews. I do this for friends when they get like, they're like, oh, I'm afraid to buy this product. And then I really will go through it and say like, is this a deal breaker? I've been that person for a long time. And I think I generally have a good sense. Of people. And when we're like, you know, just sort of kvetching because, or sorry, complaining because we feel like, we want to hear our own voice and when we're complaining, because you know, there's something that needs to be said.

And I think I have a pretty general respect for both of those sides. So I can say I'm passionate about reviews and I've written a few in my day. How about you?

TREY: [00:04:52] I think I have written one review in my life on and after a horrible experience. [00:05:00] And then I got so paranoid that I actually like completely changed my entire username because I was like, so afraid of retribution. So I'm not a person that frequents Yelp or all of those situations, but I do, I do look through reviews on Amazon.


CHELSEY: [00:05:14] I'm going to find that review that you wrote.

TREY: [00:05:17] Oh, I wonder if it's still there. You know,

CHELSEY: [00:05:19] if there's retribution to be had

TREY: [00:05:22] Oy-yow-yow!, all right. Well, I'm glad that we, um, are here. I'm glad that the listeners are here and I feel like we are more connected now and we can jump right in. So here we are episode one of Review That Review.

CHELSEY: [00:05:36] I feel like before we hear other people complain, just to like even out the playing field, maybe we should like complain about things just so we, you know, allow the audience to know that, we too sometimes take issue with things.

TREY: [00:05:50] if I was making a podcast, I think I would come up with a really cute phrase for that. And it would maybe be the first segment called.

VOICEOVER: [00:05:58] Lodge A Complaint.

[00:06:00] CHELSEY: [00:06:00] Wow. I'm so glad you had that cued up.

TREY: [00:06:04] Mmm-Hmm!.

CHELSEY: [00:06:04] You have a complaint to lodge Trey?

TREY: [00:06:07] Yes. I absolutely have a complaint to lodge and I I'm going to be controversial.

CHELSEY: [00:06:13] Oh no. Okay.

TREY: [00:06:15] But, with a heart of bravery, and I'm going to go after this complaint that needs to be lodged against the NBC competition show The Voice.

CHELSEY: [00:06:25] Oh! Okay.

TREY: [00:06:25] Okay.

The Voice, can you, okay. Chelsey, can you name a single winner from