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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 118: "Pornhub - 1 Star Review"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 118: "Pornhub - 1 Star Review"


*Please pardon any and all spelling errors!

[00:00:00] THEME SONG: Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] CHELSEY DONN: Hello

[00:00:32] TREY GERRALD: Hi, and welcome to Review That Review. We are the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing

[00:00:41] CHELSEY DONN: reviews.

[00:00:44] TREY GERRALD: that is ChelseyBD Donn.

[00:00:46] CHELSEY DONN: And that is Trey. Gerrald.

[00:00:49] TREY GERRALD: And together we are

[00:00:51] VOICEOVER: The review Queens.

[00:00:54] CHELSEY DONN: That's right.

[00:00:56] TREY GERRALD: Donn,

[00:00:57] CHELSEY DONN: That's 'I.

[00:00:58] TREY GERRALD: Would you like to go into the darkness and bring A'? Little bit of that to the light with our listeners? See if anyone else agrees or has similar experiences. Are you ready? ChelseyBD two

[00:01:09] VOICEOVER: Lodge, A', Complaint.

[00:01:10] CHELSEY DONN: I'm ready Trey. Okay, so this applies, this Complaint, 'I guess applies to, uh, television, movies, and social media these days, but something that really bothers me because I'm A' regular user of them. Is delayed. Subtitles. Okay. 'I Can't take it. 'I think that it started when 'I started really writing for television.

'I decided 'I was gonna always have the subtitles on. Maybe just to see phrasing of things. 'I like the experience of being able to listen and read at the same time. 'I don't know if it's the type of brain 'I have, but that's like very pleasing to me. And when it's delayed, it's so distracting to me.

[00:01:53] TREY GERRALD: Oh my

[00:01:54] CHELSEY DONN: It's just such A' distraction.

It's like 'I can't what, like what's happening? And it's just, it's not right. 'I mean we should really sync this audio. Not everybody can can hear. People are reading it. They deserve to have the experience of reading it in real time and it's really glaringly obvious when it's not. Also, if you're on social media and you're like doing A' lip-syncing thing and you're way off, that's okay.

It can be really hard to do that. Just don't do the video. Okay, just pick another medium. There's other reels you can do. You don't have to be the person that's doing the KY thing. You could do something else if you can't do it.

[00:02:33] TREY GERRALD: Wait, that, that lipsky thingy really bugs me. 'cause, 'cause 'I always start questioning, wait. Is there something off with my like

[00:02:41] CHELSEY DONN: Right.

[00:02:41] TREY GERRALD: or like, did they not know that they are like A' millisecond off? Like did they not recognize that when they pressed it? Okay, wait, this delayed subtitles, that is so funny to me and it's something that is so bothersome to me, but 'I would never think to induct

[00:02:55] CHELSEY DONN: Thank you.

[00:02:56] TREY GERRALD: at the gym, you know, 'I will do an hour of cardio and it's like six TVs all around you.

And there is one television that always randomly says, Vulgar, B U L G E R, some word that 'I guess got stuck

and the

[00:03:17] CHELSEY DONN: Fall.

[00:03:17] TREY GERRALD: will continue to go over it.

[00:03:20] CHELSEY DONN: That's A'. Horrible.

[00:03:22] TREY GERRALD: bulgar never goes away. The word never goes

[00:03:24] CHELSEY DONN: Bulgar what? Like what was it gonna be? Bulgaria 'I. Mean? 'I. Don't even know why we would use the word

[00:03:31] TREY GERRALD: is A' News Station and 'I understand that it's live. So like someone is transcribing really quickly live, but sometimes they'll just like get behind and then they just stop and move on to the next sentence. Have you noticed that?

[00:03:44] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. 'I almost would rather, I'd almost rather them skip A' sentence if it means we're gonna catch

[00:03:51] TREY GERRALD: caught up?

[00:03:52] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. Especially if it's live like 'I can be more forgiving of live when things are taped and they really should just do better. Or when you're on social media soliciting some sort of entertainment Donn, don't know out of your lip sync video, just do it.

Right. 'I.

[00:04:11] TREY GERRALD: you. It really is maddening 'cause it just takes you out.

[00:04:14] CHELSEY DONN: me out of it. Now, 'I can't pay attention.

[00:04:16] TREY GERRALD: Wait. I'll tell you one other thing. It depends on what it is, what I'm consuming, but sometimes 'I will also like to see the subtitles. 'I once listened to an audiobook while reading the book.

[00:04:29] CHELSEY DONN: Listen. Yeah. Oh, I've done that before. 'I.

[00:04:32] TREY GERRALD: But isn't that

[00:04:33] CHELSEY DONN: 'I know it is kind of weird you were reading along with them. Yeah. There's something about that dual stimuli that really, that audio visual that really gets things into my brain in A' way that 'I want to digest them. So anyway, if you work in subtitles, thank you for getting it right.

10 outta 12 times. Which is, that's an inside

[00:04:55] TREY GERRALD: call back

[00:04:55] CHELSEY DONN: inside joke for

[00:04:56] TREY GERRALD: back.

[00:04:57] CHELSEY DONN: But thank you for getting it right most of the time. But when you get it wrong, like, ugh, 'I can't. Anyway, that's my Complaint.

[00:05:03] TREY GERRALD: 'I. Hear you. Really good Complaint. It is like A' nuisance. That really just, it becomes front of mind, even though it should just be there.

[00:05:12] CHELSEY DONN: It's gotta just, yeah. Should not be noticeable. If it's noticeable, you're doing it wrong anyway. Whew. Got that off my chest. Wanna give someone else that same opportunity? Try. So, should we jump into an online review,

[00:05:25] TREY GERRALD: 'I think we should, but 'I don't want to put the cart before the horse. But Donn don't know if you're gonna regret wanting to let someone else get something off their chest. We'll find

[00:05:34] CHELSEY DONN: Oh no.

[00:05:35] TREY GERRALD: Let's do it.

[00:05:36] CHELSEY DONN: Ooh.

[00:05:39] VOICEOVER: Review that. Out review

[00:05:43] CHELSEY DONN: Trey that was so ominous. Now I'm curious. Okay. As you know, we are your trusty review Queens. We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

[00:05:54] TREY GERRALD: We read you A' review, then we break it down together and rate the impact of that review on A' scale from zero to five Crowns. This is A' very regal process that we call.

[00:06:04] VOICEOVER: Assess, That, Kvetch.

[00:06:06] CHELSEY DONN: As Trey mentioned, apparently we are entering dangerous territory and 'I just can't wait another second to hear what it is that we're gonna be reviewing. 'cause now I'm nervous, but go ahead.

[00:06:19] TREY GERRALD: So, you know, all of our episodes are rated E for explicit, and we're really gonna earn that

[00:06:25] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. Okay.

[00:06:27] TREY GERRALD: Sometimes we save our blueness for the after show, but here we are on Maine because ChelseyBD 'I.

[00:06:33] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah.

[00:06:33] TREY GERRALD: Today you and 'I are going to together rate and review A' one Star Trust pilot review for the website. PornHub,

[00:06:47] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. Oh my goodness. Okay.

[00:06:51] TREY GERRALD: do you know what PornHub is?

[00:06:52] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, of course. So this, it's, it's an online Yes, of course. It's an online platform for porn. Donn. Don't know. Do you pay 'I? Is it free?

[00:07:02] TREY GERRALD: One could call it A' hub

[00:07:04] CHELSEY DONN: It's A' hub for porn. PornHub is A' hub that you, that contains porn. Yep.

[00:07:10] TREY GERRALD: So I'll be fully transparent. 'I don't really consume content from PornHub. 'I have in my life, 'I know it, but they do have free and premium memberships. And famously during Covid, PornHub made A' six month free membership for lockdown.

[00:07:29] CHELSEY DONN: Wow.

[00:07:30] TREY GERRALD: membership and get free porn.

[00:07:33] CHELSEY DONN: Well, that's why nobody wanted to go back to work, did it?

[00:07:37] TREY GERRALD: Ding. All right, so this is interesting to note. 'I don't know if the gods are like conspiring here, but at the time of recording, PornHub has 69 reviews on Trustpilot.

[00:07:50] CHELSEY DONN: No, it

[00:07:51] TREY GERRALD: Isn't that stupid? That's just

[00:07:53] CHELSEY DONN: just stupid. That's hilarious. Do you think that they just like delete? Yeah, they like capped it at 69 and then every, like when 70 goes up, they're like, gotta get rid of something else.

[00:08:04] TREY GERRALD: piece in, one piece

out. Donn. Don't know. All right. So do you wanna guess what the overall rating for PornHub is on Trustpilot?

[00:08:12] CHELSEY DONN: Well, you know, because people are going to Trustpilot A' lot to complain. I'm gonna say two and A' half.

[00:08:20] TREY GERRALD: It's A'. Really good guess, but it's actually 3.8 out of five

[00:08:24] CHELSEY DONN: okay. All right. Better than 'I thought. Is this page claimed by PornHub?

[00:08:30] TREY GERRALD: unclaimed.

[00:08:32] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:08:32] TREY GERRALD: They also have no history of asking for reviews and people review on their own initiative.

[00:08:37] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. Fair.

[00:08:39] TREY GERRALD: That's what it says. And then it just says about PornHub information provided by various external sources. It says, play check mark emoji free check mark emoji porn games. X, X, X

[00:08:55] CHELSEY DONN: Porn

[00:08:55] TREY GERRALD: sex games. You won't last five minutes playing these games.

Play now.

[00:09:00] CHELSEY DONN: Wait, are there, are there porn games? Is that A' thing?

[00:09:04] TREY GERRALD: think so. 'I don't know.

[00:09:05] CHELSEY DONN: Porn games.

[00:09:06] TREY GERRALD: that's, that's about the company on PornHub,

[00:09:09] CHELSEY DONN: Very interesting. All right.

[00:09:10] TREY GERRALD: So today we are gonna be reading and reviewing this one star, Trustpilot review for PornHub, written by user. John R.

[00:09:23] CHELSEY DONN: John R. Okay.

[00:09:25] TREY GERRALD: you say, come on.

[00:09:26] CHELSEY DONN: 'I. Just feel like it's always A', John 'I. Don't know.

[00:09:29] TREY GERRALD: We'll dig deeper into John later. So just put A' pin in that and for reference, this review is not that long ago.

They wrote the review on May 19th, 2023.

So just, you know, three months ago, four months ago, whatever. Oh, not that long ago. Alright, so the subject here is go outside for the love of God.

[00:09:51] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:09:56] TREY GERRALD: All right, and here we go. Oh, it does say at the bottom of the review that the date of experience is May 15th, but they wrote the review on May 19th, so 'I don't know if that's not okay

[00:10:06] CHELSEY DONN: Good to know.

[00:10:07] TREY GERRALD: when 'I watch porn. 'I am very isolated and alone in my room. All my fantasies are at my fingertips, and so is my penis.

[00:10:19] CHELSEY DONN: Oh God. Here we go.

[00:10:22] TREY GERRALD: 'I watch Girls 'I, don't Know, suck and bang. Guys that 'I don't know. And in my Sick Little Mind, that guy is me.

[00:10:33] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:10:34] TREY GERRALD: 'I long.

[00:10:39] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, no. Okay.

[00:10:39] TREY GERRALD: 'I long for intimacy. But the adverts at the beginning of the videos tell me. 'I 'I am pathetic and useless for jerking off to porn, so it makes me feel useless and pathetic. 'I have no hopes of ever finding A' real girlfriend.

[00:11:01] CHELSEY DONN: Oh no.

[00:11:03] TREY GERRALD: So 'I opt to just sign up for P Hub premium months go by from watching the same videos, and I'm getting bored.

Oh, look here. Transgender porn, 'I can't, I'm not gay,

[00:11:21] CHELSEY DONN: stop.

[00:11:22] TREY GERRALD: P ain't cutting it. A'. Just one. Just one video and I'm done.

[00:11:34] CHELSEY DONN: Wait one. What?

[00:11:36] TREY GERRALD: He uses the word cranny, but we can't say that. So I'm beeping it.

[00:11:40] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:11:40] TREY GERRALD: Months go by and the. Videos have reached A' point where it ain't doing it. Ah, let's go on the dark web to see

what's on there.

[00:11:52] CHELSEY DONN: What 'I.

[00:11:53] TREY GERRALD: 'I have found stuff on the dark web that has become nightmare fuel, but 'I cannot stop myself. Regular pee and pee ain't doing it. 'I have to commit suicide now.

[00:12:08] CHELSEY DONN: No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:12:14] TREY GERRALD: have reached the pinnacle of human achievement. Porn is the worst thing on the internet, and it literally takes up 90% of all the bandwidth. Why the, is there so much of it? How many endless streams of endless chicks banging some knob head guy can you consume before you realize that you were watching some other guy banging A' girl that you don't know, bud, that should be you banging A' chick, not some other stupid dude.

All porn is exploitative in the sense that the women involved ain't enjoying it. They all fake. Come for the camera. That dude's in it ain't enjoying it. They take dick pills to get erections because they bang day after day, hour after hour. Endless amounts of everything your sick little mind can conjure up is on these vile websites.

'I hope the internet burns itself out and P Hub and all the other P sites burn alive.

[00:13:25] CHELSEY DONN: Wow. Wow. 'I took A'. Lot of notes. John R, are you kidding me, bro? Like. John, this was crazy on so many levels. Yeah, you're right. 'I am offended. Um, do 'I wanna dig into John 'I? Do. Okay. Let's start by the psychological analysis style that John R starts with.

[00:14:01] TREY GERRALD: Oh, it's

[00:14:01] CHELSEY DONN: When we talk about too much information in A' review, extraneous things we don't need to know.

This is pretty textbook 'I mean. We're really getting into things 'I don't need to know about John Donn don't need to know that your hand, or sorry that your fingertips are on your penis. Why did, do you need to take us through this rollercoaster and tell us about your pushing the envelope so far and what's wrong with your mind and how you're never gonna have A' girlfriend and all 'I mean?

It just sounds like John really needs help. Or that John like got help 'I. Don't know. John is such A' conundrum. The experience of him saying, I'm not gay. Like, why are 'I, don't just, why are you laying all of this out on Trustpilot? Why? What makes you think that? People reading reviews wanna know this?

They wanna know. 'I if the porn is working or not. They wanna know, is it gonna be covered by A'? Bunch of pop-up ads. They wanna know if the, if the subtitles aren't sinking, okay, John, that's what they wanna know.

[00:15:19] TREY GERRALD: 'I mean it really goes from zero to 70 500 million thousand. You know what? 'I before 'I, forget this. 'I wanna just point out spelling, grammar here. John says capital P every time. And 'I think that. 'I think it's instead of saying pussy,

[00:15:39] CHELSEY DONN: Oh wait, we wait. Go back to the Capital P A' sentence with the capital

[00:15:43] TREY GERRALD: So the first appearance is, I'm not gay, but the regular P ain't cutting

[00:15:49] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, interesting. 'I thought. See, 'I didn't. 'I thought regular P meant regular porn.

[00:15:59] TREY GERRALD: Oh, oh, oh. Well

[00:16:03] CHELSEY DONN: Right. Like the 'I was watching, 'I was watching this stuff over and

[00:16:07] TREY GERRALD: saying P Hub, like, no, the fourth, the fourth word of the review is porn. When 'I watch porn. So it's not that John can't say the word porn, but why does he keep abbreviating porn?

[00:16:19] CHELSEY DONN: because maybe it's because he's, he's abbreviated it to p h, you know, P Hub, that 'I just thought P always meant porn. And it makes sense because the journey that I'm going on with John is that 'I got on PornHub. 'I 'I was like, I'm never gonna have A' girlfriend. 'I might as well pretend like I'm these guys that are, you know, having sex with these women.

And that's how pathetic 'I Am. And then that wasn't doing it anymore. So then 'I needed to go into this new category, and then that wasn't doing it anymore. So then 'I needed to go into the dark web,

[00:16:52] TREY GERRALD: No 'I think you are right about P being porn. 'cause the last sentence says all the other P sites,

[00:16:58] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, yeah,

[00:16:59] TREY GERRALD: Right?

[00:17:00] CHELSEY DONN: yeah, yeah. Yeah.

[00:17:01] TREY GERRALD: 'I mean 'I. This is what's occurring to me. It does sound to me and 'I am apologize to anyone that this is offensive to. It does sound familiar to the opinions of sexuality that 'I was taught in my Southern Baptist upbringing.

It sounds to me like this person is pushing like A' Christian agenda. I'm sorry. That's what is occurring to me.

[00:17:24] CHELSEY DONN: That's what 'I was trying to say before, but 'I didn't want to use those words when I'm like, it went from it like lures in the person that is doing this thing and then it like dams that 'I don't know. It's very crazy.

[00:17:36] TREY GERRALD: The reason 'I was intrigued to bring this in is because John R like has A' very clear opinion, right? But they are saying that their opinion is true and that that is what is so, and 'I will tell you, Donn don't watch porn 'I. That has females in it. So all of this holier than thou about, it's exploitative.

Women don't want to be doing it. It's like 'I. They're not doing it in the porn. I'm consuming on PornHub. So what point are you trying to make here, John? Because it's irrelevant. So if you think that

[00:18:10] CHELSEY DONN: And it also, it doesn't, none of this sounds like it's pornhub's problem, John. It sounds like it's your problem.

[00:18:17] TREY GERRALD: The problem with the receiver now, okay, now 'I don't have A' degree in psychology. 'I have not done A' clinical study on the effects of porn addiction, but yes, but, but 'I have heard, and 'I know there is A' common opinion that perhaps when you are exposed to something so much, the threshold gets lower and lower.

And so you need more extremes in order to continue. That's sort of how John sort of hooks us. But then to say like, now 'I have to die and because we've reached the pinnacle of human achievement, 'I think that is A' really dangerous statement that you believe that. Do you think that's true? And do you think that porn is the worst thing on the internet?

'I would venture to say Donn don't know. Human trafficking is probably the worst thing on the internet or like propaganda. Also 'I don't know if the stat that 90% of the internet is porn 'I

don't know if that's true. '

[00:19:07] CHELSEY DONN: I. Don't know if that's true. 'I mean there's that song from A' Q. The internet is short porn, you know? Yeah. Anyway,

[00:19:16] TREY GERRALD: should we

go through the points. here or, okay. Value new or unique information,

[00:19:27] CHELSEY DONN: 'I Don't know. 'I just, it's hard for me to, to give John any credit here for value.

[00:19:33] TREY GERRALD: 'I 'I. Mean 'I could see how this might like, maybe this happens for people, but when 'I look at porn, 'I don't feel pathetic or useless or,

[00:19:41] CHELSEY DONN: Can we talk about that quickly? What are the ads that they're talking about that are making them seem like they're pathetic?

[00:19:48] TREY GERRALD: 'I don't know. And also it says that John is from California. An advert to me sounds like A' British person, 'I. 'I 'I. Don't say advert. 'I, say an ad or an advertisement,

[00:20:00] CHELSEY DONN: 'I don't know. Maybe John is British, but either way, 'I.

[00:20:03] TREY GERRALD: know it. Just 'I. Guess there's ads at the beginning?

[00:20:06] CHELSEY DONN: What would be so pathetic that they're being A'? It was funny for me going into that section because 'I long for intimacy. 'I wrote sad, like 'I felt sad for John for A' second, like, oh, 'I get that like 'I long for intimacy and this is what I'm turning to and it's become such A' bad thing.

But then like when. They talked about the adverts and the no hope of finding A' girlfriend, and obviously when we

[00:20:32] TREY GERRALD: Like what is all that like?

[00:20:34] CHELSEY DONN: portion, it was just John Foley lost me there,

[00:20:37] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, that's very odd,

[00:20:39] CHELSEY DONN: offensive. Also, like, am 'I gay? I'm not gay. Like, why are we doing this on Trustpilot?

[00:20:45] TREY GERRALD: 'I. Maybe John was sort of intrigued by the transgender porn and, and that was frightening, but who knows? But 'I just wanna point out here, since John is going into this psychology of like, escalating. Escalating, now death 'I wanna point out, John writes these ads tell me that 'I am pathetic and useless, 'I.

So it makes me feel useless, empathetic. Okay. Nothing makes you feel anything you let the feelings

[00:21:13] CHELSEY DONN: And also, What and and what ad is telling you like, Hey John, you are pathetic. Like what 'I like,

[00:21:21] TREY GERRALD: that cuck holding or whatever we sipping or gimping or whatever you've told me about, like, like, is that what you're watching, John? Well, don't watch that porn, watch porn where they're telling you you're A' king and you're wonderful, and

[00:21:33] CHELSEY DONN: Right. It's very strange. The whole, that whole thing is, and so the value 'I can't!, like 'I really can't. For me, 'I can't remove my emotions about John enough to even find the value personally.

[00:21:47] TREY GERRALD: well, there's not value for me as A' gay person because I'm not watching females

[00:21:52] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah.

[00:21:52] TREY GERRALD: and the porn that 'I consume. And John only says that porn is bad because of the females are faking their

[00:21:59] CHELSEY DONN: Right, right, right,

[00:22:00] TREY GERRALD: Well, I'm not consuming female comms, so it's irrelevant

[00:22:04] CHELSEY DONN: And also, what was with the weird like, bud, that should be you, 'I don't know.

[00:22:09] TREY GERRALD: they keep making A' point that you're useless and pathetic because you're watching A' guy having sex with A' girl when it should be you having sex with A' girl

[00:22:17] CHELSEY DONN: whatever. Okay. Moving on.

[00:22:19] TREY GERRALD: Spelling grammar generally is okay, but the whole not spelling out porn 'I don't understand what it's about, but they write out the word suicide.

They also write out the word porn in the review and he also says C asterisk M for come. So, uh, he's Donn, don't know what his grammar laws are. Do you think this is A' common experience?

[00:22:39] CHELSEY DONN: 'I think that this, this review is shady and 'I. Think that this is not A' common experience. It might not be uncommon to become kind of addicted to it, but 'I also think, is that the fault of the platform for existing 'I? Don't know. Is it like cigarettes? Donn? Don't think so.

[00:22:58] TREY GERRALD: The truthful shady for me is like 'I, would rather John speak from their personal truth experience rather than aggrandizing that this is the only outcome.

[00:23:10] CHELSEY DONN: Right,

[00:23:11] TREY GERRALD: That's where you lose me,

[00:23:11] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, that's true. Good point. Good distinction.

[00:23:15] TREY GERRALD: The humor 'I mean it's funny, but it's also deeply upsetting and

[00:23:19] CHELSEY DONN: It's de yeah, 'I mean 'I can't even necessarily give them points for humor because for me, 'I. The suicide comment just like really pushed it too far for me. Like, 'I don't like using that as like A' A' joke or using that hyperbolically or you like, it just, that doesn't work for me, so I'm not joking at that point.

Like, 'I don't find this funny. I'm, I'm like, 'I, I'm mad.

[00:23:43] TREY GERRALD: And 'I also just want to open up the space that like 'I think it is A' dangerous, toxic, old patriarchy opinion that any sex work is women being 'I. Vulnerable because 'I believe that that exists. But 'I also believe that many women are powerful in their sex work, that they probably have more power than most people experience 'I, 'I think it is dangerously false information to say that every woman that does porn.

[00:24:16] CHELSEY DONN: Right.

[00:24:17] TREY GERRALD: Is being abused 'I think that that is like just A'. Very ignorant statement. So 'I just wanna also mention that like sex work is not bad. Sex work is only bad if you are saying that it's bad. And we were all told that because 'I. Jenny McCarthy had too much freedom in her being as A' woman, Anna Nicole had too much vibrancy.

And women can't have any power. They can't have the word I'm saying. Women can't have any, the Yeah. Chutzpah like you. They can't have any


[00:24:46] CHELSEY DONN: over their own

[00:24:48] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, they cannot. Right, right.

[00:24:50] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. Agree 'I, totally agree. And the impact ultimately is that this has way more to do with John than it does to do with PornHub.

[00:24:59] TREY GERRALD: Well that's A' beautiful segue before we Crown 'I. Just wanna tell you that John R has eight reviews on Trustpilot. So 'I did my due diligence and 'I just looked to see what the reviews were

[00:25:09] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:25:10] TREY GERRALD: So I'm just gonna scroll through. So on the same day, May 19th that they wrote this review, they also wrote A' one Star Review for only fans.

[00:25:21] CHELSEY DONN: Interesting.

[00:25:22] TREY GERRALD: The subject is SIMP Central

[00:25:25] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. Takes one to no one, sorry.

[00:25:29] TREY GERRALD: So then on May 18th, the day before John wrote A' one star review for Hinge. The subject is hinge, more like swipe binge.

[00:25:41] CHELSEY DONN: Oh God,

[00:25:42] TREY GERRALD: Okay. The same day, May 18th, John wrote A' one star review for Bumble. When 'I swipe right, 'I swipe right on everything.

[00:25:52] CHELSEY DONN: what?

[00:25:52] TREY GERRALD: And then same day, John wrote A' one star

[00:25:55] CHELSEY DONN: Same day.

[00:25:57] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, Tinder.

[00:25:59] CHELSEY DONN: Stop. Stop it.

[00:26:00] TREY GERRALD: Subject is serious relationship question mark, not nah.

[00:26:05] CHELSEY DONN: What?

[00:26:06] TREY GERRALD: And then three more reviews. They

[00:26:08] CHELSEY DONN: All same day. All the same day.

[00:26:10] TREY GERRALD: Now we're on May 15th,

[00:26:12] CHELSEY DONN: So this is A' week later.

[00:26:14] TREY GERRALD: Before

[00:26:15] CHELSEY DONN: A' week

[00:26:16] TREY GERRALD: our review was on May 19th, but it did say the date of the experience was May 15th.

[00:26:21] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:26:22] TREY GERRALD: So also one star review for Ashley Madison.

[00:26:26] CHELSEY DONN: Wow.

[00:26:27] TREY GERRALD: subject is highway robbery,

[00:26:29] CHELSEY DONN: Wow.

[00:26:31] TREY GERRALD: and then the last two May 12th.

John has A' one star review for TikTok. Subject TikTok, time is ticking.

[00:26:38] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my God.

[00:26:41] TREY GERRALD: their very first review on May 18th, date of experience was May 10th. Facebook, one star review, subject, beware of porn and graphic content.

[00:26:53] CHELSEY DONN: Who? My God,

[00:26:54] TREY GERRALD: So John's got stuff going on

[00:26:56] CHELSEY DONN: John, is maybe in the middle of like A' mental

[00:26:59] TREY GERRALD: Something might, something might be sad there.

[00:27:01] CHELSEY DONN: Someone should maybe go check on John.

[00:27:04] TREY GERRALD: Okay, so should we crown? All right. So ChelseyBD and 'I each have our own set of zero to five P Crown cards and an effort to be fair and not influenced by one another. We will simultaneously reveal our P ratings 'I.

[00:27:17] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating

to school.

[00:27:25] CHELSEY DONN: Interesting. Okay. 'I am giving John R zero crowns because 'I think that's what they deserve. Trey is awarding John with A' half of A' crown, which 'I think is very generous, so 'I will start. 'I don't see any value here. 'I. Think John needs help. 'I. This was clearly done in some sort of rampage and I'm A' little bit concerned and 'I can't really give any credit to this as A' review.

'I don't think anything about this is A'. Review 'I. Think this is A' personal essay if anything, and for that reason, zero crowns for me. But Trey decided to be generous with A' Half Crown, and I'm curious why. Yeah,

[00:28:04] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, 'I said Half Crown, similar. 'I. 'I. Think it is, like this is like an op-ed. Then also spelling out that rampage of reviews does, it actually does make me think maybe something is, is maybe something bad is happening, but 'I, 'I say the Half Crown, because 'I 'I, 'I believe that it is possible to be addicted to porn, and that is in the review.

But if 'I went to this trust pilot page, 'I. Don't think that John's review would have any impact on my wanting to go to PornHub for porn. 'I don't appreciate using the T word 'I. Don't appreciate being told that porn is only male and females together. 'cause that's just, you're telling things like there's one true narrative and you're excluding everything else and that is just offensive.

So 'I said Half Crown. Oh, John, well, ChelseyBD, should we go over to PornHub?

[00:28:59] CHELSEY DONN: 'I mean maybe.

[00:29:01] TREY GERRALD: us on PornHub at the rearview Queens.

[00:29:06] CHELSEY DONN: All right.

[00:29:06] TREY GERRALD: All right, my Queen. Well, we did it. We

[00:29:09] CHELSEY DONN: We made it through. Huh?

[00:29:11] TREY GERRALD: but now here we are at the most regal portion of our show. So ChelseyBD, who are you inducting today? Foa.

[00:29:18] VOICEOVER: My Royal line is,

[00:29:19] CHELSEY DONN: Well, this is very interesting. As it always says with Trey and 'I, we line up. So now that 'I am so heated and angry, 'I need to calm down and 'I. Know that I've already inducted 'I. Believe the Calm Commercials for the Calm app 'I. Today 'I wanna induct Elijah Goldstein, who is the person that does the sleep meditation that 'I fall asleep to almost nightly.

Elijah has helped me get over my insomnia and so 'I feel like it's only fair that 'I induct. Elijah Goldstein and their sleep meditations as My Royal Highness. And I'm gonna quickly just tell us A' little bit about Elijah since they're being inducted. They have A' PhD and they're also A' renowned author and meditation teacher and the co-founder of the Center for Mindful Living in Los Angeles.

And the founder of the Mindful Living Collective, so 'I just might check them out in person. He's also A' creator of Breakthrough six month online coaching program, A' Course in Mindful Living. His books include the Mindful Living Card Deck, uncovering Happiness, the Now Effect Mindfulness Meditations for the Anxious Traveler A', mindfulness based Stress Reduction work.

Book an M B S R. Every day he's collaborated with CALM to create three new meditation sessions on eating depression. Nope, that's not right. Can you tell where my mind is at? He's collaborated with CALM to create three new meditation sessions on easing depression, releasing anxiety, and my personal favorite, restful.

Sleep. So thank you Elijah Goldstein for all that you do. Maybe I'm gonna check out A' little bit more of what you do since you're here in LA and thank you for helping me get to sleep at night. You are My. Royal. Highness.

[00:31:19] TREY GERRALD: 'I. Love that. It's really interesting 'cause I've never really stopped to think like there are people that are like committing their lives and dedicated to like sleep wellness. Which like if it weren't for people like Elijah, like who would be behind these meditation apps and these sleep apps and like the sleep podcasts that exist, like all of this

[00:31:38] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. 'I mean 'I. 'I just 'I found them anyway, but then 'I was immediately, 'I felt like reassured that they have A' PhD and they're A' real per person. They're A' real person.

[00:31:49] TREY GERRALD: gotta open the door, let Elijah in

[00:31:51] CHELSEY DONN: right. That's right.

[00:31:52] TREY GERRALD: Well thank you Elijah, and thank you for opening that up for all of us ChelseyBD, and here we are. We did it that it was another round on the r u A' R Q Ferris Wheel of P.

[00:32:04] CHELSEY DONN: Of P Hub. Thank you for joining us today. If you like what you heard, then 'I, don't know who you are. No. But really tell A' friend

[00:32:13] TREY GERRALD: And if you didn't like what you heard, then we do know who you are and tell an enemy.

[00:32:19] CHELSEY DONN: To support the production of our show, visit Review That Review dot com slash donate. On this week's after show pod, we are rating and reviewing A' one star review From Amazon for Cashel Daddle Saddle Child, child Western Horse Toy Saddle.

[00:32:44] TREY GERRALD: Oh my God, I've almost done this like 900 times.

[00:32:48] CHELSEY DONN: up. Really? Oh my God. So to find out what made Trey say

[00:32:54] TREY GERRALD: talking about A' pre Woody, and to find out what made ChelseyBD say 'I.

[00:32:59] CHELSEY DONN: all freaking day, you're on your hands and knees, dragging these kids around.

[00:33:04] TREY GERRALD: Then Yee-haw. Become A' member of our Patreon over at Gideon up. Review That Review dot com slash ype. Patreon to hear our weekly after Show Companion Ya MNA podcast. Oh, and remember

[00:33:19] CHELSEY DONN: right. Ignore the haters. You're A' Queen.

[00:33:23] TREY GERRALD: gender nonspecific Peace CDA Queen.

[00:33:27] CHELSEY DONN: right. Daddy Saddle Zdi. Bye.

[00:33:31] TREY GERRALD: A'.

[00:33:33] VOICEOVER: Sign up directly on Apple Podcast to hear our weekly members only after show unlock additional benefits when you become A' Patreon member at Review That Review dot com slash patreon. 'I. Follow us on all the socials at the review Queens and join our mailing list at Review That Review dot com. Arc vetch line is open 24 7 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.

Don't be A' today.

[00:34:01] TREY GERRALD: I'm 'I can't. Believe you've, you're gonna, you're gonna do this

[00:34:04] CHELSEY DONN: I'm doing it. It's okay. We can still do another review for the main show if we decide it's worthy, but 'I.

[00:34:10] TREY GERRALD: A'. Few different Daddy Saddles, dad

[00:34:12] CHELSEY DONN: For sure. This isn't the only daddy saddle available. This is just one. '

[00:34:17] TREY GERRALD: I. Can't

[00:34:17] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. There's room for all the saddles and all the dads, but 'I do think it's kind of funny that this is like very on theme

[00:34:24] TREY GERRALD: 'I was just gonna say 'I Can't believe this is the Porn Hub episode.

[00:34:28] CHELSEY DONN: 'I know. So

[00:34:30] TREY GERRALD: All right, we'll see you on Friday. Bye.

[00:34:31] CHELSEY DONN: Bye.

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.


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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 159: "Barking - 1 Star Review"

Review That Review with Chelsey & Trey Episode 159: "Barking - 1 Star Review" Transcription *Please pardon any and all spelling errors! [00:00:00] CHELSEY DONN: Goldie? Goldie! No barking, quiet, or y


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