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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 124: "Virgin Voyages: 1 vs. 5 Stars"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 124: "Virgin Voyages: 1 vs. 5 Stars"


*Please pardon any and all spelling errors!

[00:00:00] THEME SONG: Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] CHELSEY DONN: Hello,

[00:00:32] TREY GERRALD: Well, hello, and welcome to Review That Review, sailors. This is the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing.

[00:00:41] CHELSEY DONN: Review,

[00:00:44] TREY GERRALD: That's Chelsey Donn.

[00:00:45] CHELSEY DONN: and that's Trey Gerrald.

[00:00:47] TREY GERRALD: But when we come together, we are the dynamic duo known as

[00:00:51] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens!

[00:00:55] TREY GERRALD: Chelsey. I gotta know. I'm just itching and scratching to know. Is there something that you want to

[00:01:01] VOICEOVER: Ledge a complaint.

[00:01:03] TREY GERRALD: about today?

[00:01:04] CHELSEY DONN: Trey, your segues are always just so perfect, even though, you know, we don't plan this out, but they always are because my complaint, listen, guys, I know I've been complaining about bugs a lot. I complained about flies, but today I'm going to complain about ants. Okay,

[00:01:18] TREY GERRALD: Oh,

[00:01:19] CHELSEY DONN: so, I don't really know what the deal is around specifically where my desk is that I record this podcast, but I'm telling you guys, I don't eat food here, there's not like an abundance of food, the only thing is that this Where my desk is facing is right next to a door that faces outside, and I have like an ant infestation on my desk, okay, to the point where, you guys know I don't really drink coffee, but every once in a while when Trey and I are recording and I've had a long week, I'll get a coffee, so I got this like mixed, girly, fruity, whatever,

[00:01:55] TREY GERRALD: I know that purple straw.

[00:01:57] CHELSEY DONN: from Coffee Bean and I literally could not put it down on my desk because I knew if I did that it would be infested with fucking ants okay and I just can't get rid of them I've like I don't like to spray it with like a weird chemically, but I know they die from like hand sanitizer or like alcohol.

So I've been like spraying them with that. And it's definitely gotten better. Like it's gotten way better, but the problem isn't gone. And it just feels like one of those things like, do I let my landlord know? Like there's other problems I want to deal with in the house. So I don't know how high up on the priority list this is, but like, it's really.

F ing annoying. Like, I want to be able to put a beverage down that maybe has a little bit of sugar in it or something that it's going to be attracted to down for a second without having to worry about things like this. Like, what the hell? And they do bite.

[00:02:51] TREY GERRALD: Really?

[00:02:51] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. And then I'm all itchy, scratchy, like you were saying.

That was the, the whole, the whole circle. But yeah, it's annoying.

[00:02:58] TREY GERRALD: interesting that you've brought this up because David and I have been having an ant infestation

[00:03:03] CHELSEY DONN: Really?

[00:03:04] TREY GERRALD: and I actually have heard that the ants are just going crazy because of global warming.

[00:03:08] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, and the ants go marching. Da

[00:03:12] TREY GERRALD: Pa dum, pa dum, pa dum, pa dum, pa dum, go marching. And they have so many legs, they can just really scurry fast.

I hear you, it does feel affronting when suddenly ants are taking over your life, because we have not invited them. As Atlantis would say, they're uninvited.

[00:03:31] CHELSEY DONN: yeah, and it's not ironic,

[00:03:33] TREY GERRALD: Also, one other thing is like, I recognize like, we could just go get Raid, but I always get nervous

[00:03:39] CHELSEY DONN: that's it, it's like, I don't, Same, that's why I've been using a hand sanitizer,

[00:03:44] TREY GERRALD: right. Yeah, I get it. And I'm sorry you're dealing with that because it's really frustrating.

Why don't we sail away to a

[00:03:50] CHELSEY DONN: sail away,

[00:03:51] TREY GERRALD: Ants really can't get. Can ants swim or do they just drown?

[00:03:56] CHELSEY DONN: I don't know, I think they drown, Cause they, when you like put them in the puddle of a hand sanitizer, they don't fare well,

[00:04:04] TREY GERRALD: Right, I don't think they, I don't think I have

[00:04:06] CHELSEY DONN: They're not, they're not trying to take a swim out, you know.

[00:04:09] TREY GERRALD: Well, Chelsey, it is a very special episode. Are you ready to go hand to hand?

[00:04:14] CHELSEY DONN: I am...

[00:04:15] TREY GERRALD: Well, then why don't you and I,

[00:04:16] VOICEOVER: Assess that kvetch. Review That

[00:04:18] TREY GERRALD: Queens, today is another Versus episode, we cover both a one star and a five star review up against each other to try to find the truth.

And today, we are going to do this truth hunting mission. On the same topic, Virgin Voyages,

[00:04:37] CHELSEY DONN: Cruisin For this versus episode, I selected the five star, And Trey has selected the one star, So, to determine who reads first, We gotta flip that quarter. All right, Trey, I think it's your turn to flip and your turn to guess.

[00:04:52] TREY GERRALD: I'm gonna say Tails,

[00:04:55] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:04:56] TREY GERRALD: it's Tails,

[00:05:00] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. Today, as Trey mentioned, we're covering both ends of the spectrum on TripAdvisor for Virgin Voyages Cruise Line, which Trey would know nothing about.

[00:05:12] TREY GERRALD: get on the boat, the banana boat,

[00:05:15] CHELSEY DONN: At the time of this recording there are you guys 2051 reviews on TripAdvisor with an average score of four out of five? Not too shabby, honestly.

Yeah, pretty good version. Voyages official debut had originally been scheduled April 1st, 2020. Not a great time for a debut. Oh man. With the maiden voyage of. Scarlet Lady, but clearly the COVID 19 pandemic delayed the cruises launch, right? Having had to initially postpone the voyage until August 7th of 2020, which that's sooner than I would have thought, honestly, I remember when COVID happened.

I was like, that's the end of cruises forever. And ultimately, October 16th, 2020. So they did have to postpone it twice. But even so, honestly,

[00:06:10] TREY GERRALD: sounds early to me still,

[00:06:12] CHELSEY DONN: right, which is interesting because then they say that the first sailing with paying guests commenced on August 6th, 2021.

[00:06:22] TREY GERRALD: went on that October

[00:06:24] CHELSEY DONN: I guess they must've done like a soft launch, right?

[00:06:28] TREY GERRALD: I guess it was Richard Branson, he was just on his

[00:06:30] CHELSEY DONN: Like Richard Branson and his friends and maybe like all the people that were going to work on the boat. I heard that sometimes when they do these soft launches, it's with like crew.

[00:06:39] TREY GERRALD: that would make the most sense honestly.

[00:06:41] CHELSEY DONN: As of May 2023, Virgin Voyages has three ships in the fleet with one more on order. I wonder what that means. When are we going to see that one?

All with an expected capacity of approximately 2, 700 passengers. each. Think about all those people to please, my goodness. Virgin also has many distinctions that separate them from traditional cruise lines in the spirit of capturing younger demographics, including 18 and older rules. Banning all single use plastics on board.

That's cool. And a resident drag performer on each ship. I'm going, Oh my God. That's so cool. Okay. So with all that background of mine, I'm shocked to know that someone could have a one star experience because it sounds like sign me up, but should we jump into that online review, Trey?

[00:07:37] TREY GERRALD: I say, let's go for it! Ahoy there, mateys!

[00:07:46] VOICEOVER: Review.

[00:07:50] TREY GERRALD: So, full disclosure, this will come up, but I have recently, a couple of months back, returned from cruising on Virgin Voyages, and this specific ship, the Scarlet Lady. So, it's very ironic I was tasked with finding the One Star, because I'm sure you will begin to hear my experience, but I'm not gonna tell you up front.

[00:08:08] CHELSEY DONN: I'm going to say, which to be honest, Trey and I haven't even really unpacked. So I'm going to hear all the tea in real time too.

[00:08:14] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, and also, I feel like I haven't even discussed it on the podcast at all.

[00:08:18] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. I think we were saving it for this moment.

[00:08:21] TREY GERRALD: All right, well here we go. So today I will be sharing I'm gonna be sharing Shte 45 70 sevens.

[00:08:29] CHELSEY DONN: Whoa.

[00:08:30] TREY GERRALD: star TripAdvisor review.

[00:08:33] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. Shorty

[00:08:35] TREY GERRALD: 45 77.

[00:08:38] CHELSEY DONN: Do you think that means they're the 4577th person to try to claim the name Shorty on Drip Advisor?

[00:08:44] TREY GERRALD: That's funny 'cause that's where you go. But I just always think digits are someone's birthday, like April 5th of 77.

[00:08:52] CHELSEY DONN: or their address, I feel like that scene in um, You've Got Mail, where they're trying to figure out why he's like, NY, and then they're like, his address, and she's like, he'd never be that stupid, and then it was,

[00:09:04] TREY GERRALD: I've never seen it, but I

[00:09:05] CHELSEY DONN: oh my god, okay, alright, anyway,

[00:09:08] TREY GERRALD: All right, so Shorty, they are from Coral Springs, Florida.

[00:09:12] CHELSEY DONN: okay,

[00:09:13] TREY GERRALD: They have written two reviews. This has received one helpful vote. And, um, this review was written in July of this year. And their subject is... Don't waste your money,

[00:09:28] CHELSEY DONN: ooh,

[00:09:32] TREY GERRALD: Rant Warning!

[00:09:33] CHELSEY DONN: uh oh,

[00:09:36] TREY GERRALD: First off, we were so excited that we finally got a cruise without kids! A few days to reconnect and recharge. We got past all the customs, immigration, when all systems went down, dot, dot, dot. A process that should take us 5 minutes max. Some people were waiting 40 minutes in line. We were lucky.

We probably waited 10 minutes or so to get our wrist fob. Once, on the cruise, we went to eat and my husband got food poisoning,

[00:10:09] CHELSEY DONN: ay,

[00:10:10] TREY GERRALD: We were literally in our cabin for three days straight, He couldn't leave the cabin, When I went to the clinic, it was closed until 4pm, dot, dot, dot, The IV hydration hydration station, This is day two at sea! When he finally felt a butt better, we went to eat. He wanted something easy to the stomach, and stood by the counter at the noodle place. Nobody! Not a single employee! Asked him, quote, What can I help you with?, parentheses, question mark?, parentheses. Employees kept passing him by and picking up orders, and not one told him anything.

Five to seven minutes had passed by, and finally, the person behind the counter told him he had to order at the table. Really? Everyone saw him, standing at the counter, waiting to order, feeling sick, dot dot dot, and not a single employee could have directed him to sit down?, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark.

Seriously? Question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark. The nightclub options were ridiculously late. 11. 45pm the quote unquote party started, dot a dot. Remember, we are parents, slash, adults, slash, workers, slash, We are not teenagers that stay up late for a nightclub. Why we have to wait until midnight to go dancing?

Absolutely. Ridiculous! Exclamation, exclamation, exclamation, exclamation, exclamation. The lineups of shows are really bad, dot dot dot. The same artists, the whole cruise, dot dot dot. Okay, I can go to the show ONCE. But every night? Um, really? Other cruise lines change artists when you reach a destination, dot dot dot dot dot.

Not this one! You are stuck with the same thing every other night, dot dot dot dot. The food, dot dot dot dot dot, semicolon. Well, dot dot dot, the options of restaurants you have if you don't get a reservation is almost impossible to get to eat there, what?, the options of restaurants you have if you don't get a reservation is almost impossible to get to eat there, and the food, dot dot dot, bleh, dot dot dot, we went to the wake and the extra virgin, dot dot dot, at the wake, My food was undercooked, and I had to wait for a brand new order to come out, parenthesis, another 10 minutes or so, at Extra Virgin, the quote unquote Italian place, there is no chicken parm, dot, dot, dot, dot, really?

Question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, The menu is very limited. The quote unquote pool, well, dot a dot a dot, if you can call it a pool, dot a dot a dot, is a joke, is tiny, and when I say tiny, I really mean it, two exclamation marks, please check out the pictures, two exclamation marks, not a single place to lay down on a lounge chair, on the shade,

[00:14:07] CHELSEY DONN: oh god,

[00:14:08] TREY GERRALD: like, dot dot dot dot dot, Do you really want me to die of sunburn?,

question mark, question mark, Our room steward was AMAZING!, four exclamation marks, He was always available when needed, and always visible, Kudos to him, The gym was great, though, co. uk Many machine options, classes, yoga, HIIT, etc. And you have a track at the very top of the cruise, which I found interesting!

Not a fan of this cruise, dot a dot a dot. Not recommended at all in so many aspects and never coming back to this cruise line. I honestly rather not take my kids and enjoy the other accommodations that other cruise lines offer. Dash, more pool room with shade options, Dash, more restaurants and able to sit and have a real meal, not a panini or a cheeseburger,

[00:15:10] CHELSEY DONN: I don't know what that put me in,

[00:15:13] TREY GERRALD: Dash, more variety of shows, Dash, adult entertainment at reasonable hours, Dash, more attentive crew members. Overall, not recommended and not returning.

[00:15:32] CHELSEY DONN: Wow, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, dot, dot, dot, dot, question mark, question mark,

[00:15:38] TREY GERRALD: dot dot dot dot dot.

[00:15:39] CHELSEY DONN: jeez Louise Shorty, Shorty,

[00:15:43] TREY GERRALD: name is Dot? Dot dot dot

[00:15:44] CHELSEY DONN: I mean Shorty's name must be dot or question mark or something because first of all, Shorty, are you short of breath after writing that review? Because

[00:15:54] TREY GERRALD: dot.

[00:15:57] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, that was a lot. I don't know why, like, first of all, there were a lot of things that shorty brought up that I was like, oof. Right? Like starting with the food poisoning, like let's be honest.

[00:16:10] TREY GERRALD: What a terrible way to start.

[00:16:11] CHELSEY DONN: There is nothing that can knock you out like food poisoning and to start your entire trip that way,

[00:16:19] TREY GERRALD: Awful.

[00:16:20] CHELSEY DONN: bad, like bad, bad, bad, like there's norovirus and things that go around on cruises, so I thought maybe that's where we were going because I thought the wife was going to get sick, clearly it wasn't, like clearly this really was food poisoning because the wife never got sick,

[00:16:33] TREY GERRALD: How quickly does food poisoning kick in?

[00:16:36] CHELSEY DONN: Fast, like within hours, it's definitely possible that they went and they like had lunch or they had whatever and then like a couple hours later or whatever, it's, it's quite, it's very like fast,

[00:16:48] TREY GERRALD: Okay. Okay. Okay.

[00:16:48] CHELSEY DONN: I've been on a cruise when like we all got norovirus and I've actually spent some time in the like underbelly, you know, infirmary, It's not like, listen, you do not want to spend your cruise time doing this.

I do find it appalling that it was closed on day two.

[00:17:09] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, that's weird, right?

[00:17:11] CHELSEY DONN: That seems very strange.

[00:17:12] TREY GERRALD: seem like an issue.

[00:17:14] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, very real. Now, I have like a logistics question. So, you can't go on Virgin if you're not 18, right?

[00:17:24] TREY GERRALD: Right, you have to be at least 18 years old.

[00:17:26] CHELSEY DONN: So then why do they keep bringing up the whole thing of like, with kids, and then like, I think what she, what Shorty meant to say is they'd rather go on a cruise with their kids than go on an adult cruise without their kids and have this experience, but that wasn't really the wording that they used,

[00:17:43] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, it, it sounds to me like they did Virgin because you can't bring your kids and she's, and they're saying like, well, I might as well just do the regular cruise line and just not bring my kids.

[00:17:54] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, copy. Okay. I was, I was very confused by that. I thought that that,

[00:17:59] TREY GERRALD: But on that point, It does seem to me like that is what Shorty should do, because it seems like Shorty is not, and this is really the general conversation around Virgin Voyages, is that it is not a traditional cruise line, right?

[00:18:17] CHELSEY DONN: even though I feel like, yeah, you were burned. Like, I don't really like you shorty. And I just don't think that you should have signed up for this cruise, like the 1145 bedtime and whatever. I would imagine if I'm going on this This like 18 plus whatever thing, I'm going to be there with like college students, I'm going to be there with people that want the late night club.

What do you think?

[00:18:40] TREY GERRALD: Well, I do hear that there's an actual critique, maybe you should have the infirmary and you should have the IV station open if passengers are on the ship, like maybe that is something that a virgin should take to heart.

[00:18:55] CHELSEY DONN: definitely.

[00:18:56] TREY GERRALD: And I can also hear, because I do know, because I was on Scarlet Lady, they have one movable space that can become a thrust theater, it can become like a cabaret venue, and then that becomes the dance

[00:19:11] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. Makes

[00:19:12] TREY GERRALD: don't have one general dance club space, they have this multi purpose venue,

[00:19:18] CHELSEY DONN: So they have to wait for the shows to be completed to open. Okay. That makes a lot of sense.

[00:19:23] TREY GERRALD: but there is an additional theater space that is just a theater, although it did, they, they were able to make it like, tennis court seating like they were able to like move that around too but it's fully like a proscenium space generally so there there is no option to dance before all of the scheduled programming is done for the day that every evening ends with dance parties so i'm hearing that i think is

[00:19:48] CHELSEY DONN: But like, are, there's not like a DJ by the pool or something like that?

[00:19:54] TREY GERRALD: Well, there are a bunch of musical artists, like, there's one bar that's like the jazz room and they have live musicians, I don't, I mean, I guess you could sort of dance and there's other people, but yes, but, but if you wanted like a club at

[00:20:07] CHELSEY DONN: If you want to like an oomph, oomph, oomph situation, you're 1145.

[00:20:12] TREY GERRALD: 830, but where would you get that in the real world too? Like, don't clubs open at night? Like, you're not going to be able to go to a club at eight o'clock, are you?

[00:20:20] CHELSEY DONN: I don't know what, I mean, when I think of clubs, I do think of being in college and like, we definitely were not there before like 11.

[00:20:27] TREY GERRALD: And I also think in the same conversation, like, I can just see both sides, I think is what I'm saying, but like, I also hear Like, remember, we are parents and adults and workers. We're not teenagers, but you're on vacation and you're stuck on a ship and you like are drinking like it did feel in

[00:20:46] CHELSEY DONN: And if, if the way that Virgin is built is that everything really happens at night and you can just sort of chill during the day, then it's like, if you're up until 4am at the club, then lay at the pool until noon. Like, you know, like whatever.

[00:21:00] TREY GERRALD: that's exactly my point. Cause in my experience, it's sort of like. Like, you're on the vacation, like, you're just, you're gonna be acting the way you don't on land, because you're just in this little megaplex that's moving, so, that seems a little odd to me, I, I really need your point of view on, there's no chicken parm,

[00:21:20] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, my point of view on that is that I love Chicken Parm, and that I order Chicken Parm almost every single time I go to an Italian restaurant, so I'm, I get it, like, I'm on shorty side, like, personally, if I got the Italian menu, I would immediately be looking for the Chicken Parm, and there would be, like, a part of me that would be disappointed by it, but at the same time, if the restaurant's called Extra Virgin, It's maybe more of like a extra version all of what I don't know.

I just feel like they maybe they have.

[00:21:51] TREY GERRALD: Voyageous,

[00:21:52] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, no, I got the

[00:21:54] TREY GERRALD: okay,

[00:21:54] CHELSEY DONN: but I'm just saying, like, maybe they're just maybe they're putting their own spin on it. Right. And I think that, like, when you're on a cruise, you have to kind of be a little bit open minded. To be like, Oh, I'm going to try something different.

Right? I'm sure that if it's an Italian restaurant, there's like pasta or other things you could get that are pretty universally liked. So even as a chicken parm lover, it wouldn't be like the worst thing in the world.

[00:22:22] TREY GERRALD: It's a really an interesting thing to like harp on like why did you hate your crews cuz they didn't make me

[00:22:28] CHELSEY DONN: they didn't make me a chicken parm.

[00:22:31] TREY GERRALD: I Mean it really made the review. I mean that's like that was really important to shorty, which I think is

[00:22:36] CHELSEY DONN: which again, love a chicken parm, so I, I understand the passion, But I think there are a lot of things that happened along the way that made us lose faith in Shorty. For example, at the top, we got the rant, first of all, rant warning, then it's we, we got through customs, everything was fine.

[00:22:54] TREY GERRALD: right

[00:22:55] CHELSEY DONN: Some people waited 40 minutes.

We only waited 10. Everything went downhill from there. We waited 10 minutes while everyone else waited 40. How is that downhill?

[00:23:05] TREY GERRALD: because they said it should have only taken us five minutes And we had to

[00:23:09] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, so it took you 5 extra minutes.

[00:23:12] TREY GERRALD: I mean, to me, that's an absurd. Like I don't, I think Shorty's insane. It's the same with the whole thing about they had to remake my meal and I had to wait

[00:23:20] CHELSEY DONN: 10 minutes!

[00:23:21] TREY GERRALD: I thought that was really fast.

[00:23:23] CHELSEY DONN: I was like that so fast and actually kind of queenly that they're just like not taking your dish and throwing it in the microwave. They're like making you

[00:23:31] TREY GERRALD: They were restarting.

[00:23:32] CHELSEY DONN: dish.

[00:23:33] TREY GERRALD: about the, my husband waited five to seven minutes.

[00:23:37] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my god. Listen, this is what I was thinking, and I know that like, you and I are always gonna be on the side of the servers, so in my mind, I'm thinking, he's standing there Awkwardly in the way and then the servers are running food. This cruise ship has thousands of people. So I just think they're like, focus, focus, focus, focus, focus.

And then, yeah, maybe it did take five minutes for somebody like after catching up from running all their food to be like, Hey, just you order from where you're sit, you're seated. Everybody else on the cruise knew that that was what you did. Nobody else was standing in line.

[00:24:15] TREY GERRALD: I mean, so this happened to me and Mark, actually, because, who was a guest on our podcast, because I would also say it could be clearer. We were like looking at the food, you know, it's like every, it's like all these eateries, there's like 20 eateries, so it's like we're looking at the,

[00:24:31] CHELSEY DONN: Does it look like one of those like fancy food court things?

[00:24:34] TREY GERRALD: so yeah, they, basically it's like a mess hall, sort of, but it's like a bunch of different eateries, and they're all near each other, and then like there's hundreds of tables everywhere, and they have little like, Things that have little flags that you flip

[00:24:48] CHELSEY DONN: Like a run for us, run, uh, stop for us, stop.

[00:24:51] TREY GERRALD: Yeah. So it's like a hoy sailor,

[00:24:53] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. Okay.

[00:24:54] TREY GERRALD: but we had to have the person that was running the like machines to be like, you order at the table.


[00:24:59] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. Okay. So maybe it's a more fair complaint.

[00:25:02] TREY GERRALD: yeah. I mean, it is interesting that like so many people didn't say anything, but like, I also don't think that when they, when shorty is saying like he's standing there sick,

[00:25:12] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, I just circled assumption. Like, you really think that, like, everybody is like, Oh, this guy is clearly sick and, like, weak and standing here. Let me ignore him. Like, I just don't,

[00:25:24] TREY GERRALD: Well, it is the eateries are set up like glass partitions and you see all of the food So people do sort of stand around and they're looking at like the 12 different options that you

[00:25:34] CHELSEY DONN: right. So you're saying you might be standing there for a reason other than you're waiting to take an order.

[00:25:39] TREY GERRALD: exactly, but your point about how there's like thousands of people on the ship like What a self centered point of

[00:25:45] CHELSEY DONN: right,

[00:25:46] TREY GERRALD: that they can't notice that I'm sick and I'm standing here But I also had the experience of needed to be told how it works.


[00:25:53] CHELSEY DONN: So, okay. So how many cruises have you been on? A lot?

[00:25:57] TREY GERRALD: this was my third cruise

[00:25:59] CHELSEY DONN: I've probably been on like four. I don't recall ever being on a cruise. Where the, maybe I'm wrong and maybe my memory doesn't serve because I was a little bit younger on some of these, Where the artists changed at every port?

[00:26:14] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, I don't know what that means

[00:26:15] CHELSEY DONN: I don't, I know, like, I feel like on every, and I don't know, you can speak to the entertainment factor here, but, I feel like every cruise I've ever been on, yeah, maybe there's four shows, and it's like, oh, I'm gonna go see Rock of Ages on Tuesday, and then I'm gonna go see the, yeah, Hairspray on Wednesday, like,

[00:26:34] TREY GERRALD: barbershop

[00:26:34] CHELSEY DONN: And the barbershop quartet on Thursday and it's like, maybe I could have seen the barbershop quartet on Tuesday, but I just couldn't get in.

So I like, that's my, you rotate, right? So like, I don't understand, what are they talking about? Like, are they like the same entertainment every time? Like, aren't there just basically enough shows or enough things to go to where you could go to in any order, one of the things every night? Isn't that just the way it is?

[00:27:01] TREY GERRALD: Yes, and There is so much programming on the ship that like your steward for your room Helps you make reservations and stuff. So like there's so much to do that it is surprising to me I know from performers and actors like you get hired by like Royal Caribbean and you like are on that ship for a year performing so I don't know I do know that headliners sometimes come on and off like maybe Jerry Seinfeld would sit on the cruise for a week Subs

[00:27:32] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. My grandma, my grandmother did a few, did

[00:27:35] TREY GERRALD: Right. I think comedians,

[00:27:36] CHELSEY DONN: So like,

[00:27:37] TREY GERRALD: And I will say that the crews that I went on, I think these people are gigged on the ship for like six months. Like, I don't think they're switching in and out, but I don't know. Like, it never occurred to me like, Oh, I have to sit through the same show again. I felt like there was an abundance of shows.

There wasn't enough time to see everything. That's how I felt.

[00:27:56] CHELSEY DONN: exactly. That's how I feel like I usually feel side quick side note. I'm going to tell like a kind of funny story about my grandmother doing stand up on a cruise ship on the after show. So just remind me. Um, it's a fun one. Footnote. Okay. But I agree. Like I don't, I don't trust Shorty like immediately off the bat with some of the things that they're complaining about.

Then the show section. I'm just like, what are you talking about? Like, I don't know where you're getting these facts from that you're supposed to get new entertainment at every port. Like just doesn't make any fucking sense to me. Reservation impossible. I mean, what were the, Which maybe it is, but again, I think that this is like one of those things kind of reminds me of the sandals

[00:28:37] TREY GERRALD: Yes.

[00:28:39] CHELSEY DONN: review that we did where Cause it's all inclusive and like, listen, you gotta be in the know, right?

Or Disney World. You're not gonna just go there and expect to get reservations at the best restaurants. If you haven't, ahead of time, called the Disney hotline and made those reservations, called the Sandals, you know, concierge and made those reservations. If you're not gonna do that, you kind of have no one to blame, even though it's annoying.

I understand it's annoying, right? It's one of those things I'm sure they got emails. I'm sure you don't, you can speak to that, but I'm sure that there was correspondence ahead of time being like, you got to make your reservations, like get, get ready. Right. And people take cruises so seriously. People book cruises years in advance.

It's, or people just cruise every year, right? Cruise multiple times a year.

[00:29:29] TREY GERRALD: So this is another distinction of Virgin Voyages. They actually have tiers, which are, it's kind of like a cast system, but, so they have three different tiers. There's like a standard sailor, and then you have a rock star, and then you have the mega rock star. The mega rock star are like the largest rooms.

There is a suite that has like three bedrooms and it's literally 20, 000 for a five day cruise. So like, no one's renting that,

[00:29:56] CHELSEY DONN: That's crazy.

[00:29:57] TREY GERRALD: And there's also a front area on the ship that is exclusive to Rockstars and Mega Rockstars, and it has hot tubs and its own bar and its own menu.

[00:30:07] CHELSEY DONN: okay, were you in the commoners area?

[00:30:10] TREY GERRALD: we were in the middle, so we were Rockstars because we wanted access to that Richard's Rooftop place.

And then also the other distinction, Rockstar, the middle tier, you have a bar in your room, a personal bar,

[00:30:23] CHELSEY DONN: okay,

[00:30:24] TREY GERRALD: And then if you're a mega rock star, they replenish the bottles in the bar when you finish

[00:30:28] CHELSEY DONN: wow, okay,

[00:30:30] TREY GERRALD: Right. So that's real crazy. Also, when you are a rock star, you get to board the ship earlier. You also get a personalized reservationist.

That you can communicate with

[00:30:41] CHELSEY DONN: who you're talking, right, so that's who you're making your dinner reservations through, okay,

[00:30:44] TREY GERRALD: and you get access like almost a month before the cruise. So if you are not a rock star or a mega rock star, if you're just a

[00:30:52] CHELSEY DONN: by the time you're making reservations,

[00:30:54] TREY GERRALD: of them are taken already and you can't make reservations until you're on the

[00:30:58] CHELSEY DONN: Is it clear when you're on the ship that there's this like cast? Okay, because I then I almost

[00:31:04] TREY GERRALD: bands.

[00:31:05] CHELSEY DONN: then I almost wish that they would have brought that up in their review Like if you're gonna go and be sort of a commoner expect to wait in line Expect to not be able to make reservations.

Like I think that would be kind of queenly information. This is feeling very Woe is me Personal like I don't know. It's just it's just feeling a little whiny

[00:31:26] TREY GERRALD: it feels whiny to me, it feels, and I do even question, like, can you confirm for me that the food poisoning is from the ship, but I'm just gonna assume that it is from the ship, but, and that is proof and the infirmary open and the IV hydration, like, immediately,

[00:31:43] CHELSEY DONN: 100%. Now, okay, you were in the Rockstar. Did you have a pool?

[00:31:50] TREY GERRALD: no,

[00:31:51] CHELSEY DONN: So is that, is it true that the, the pool is very small?

[00:31:56] TREY GERRALD: the pool is surprisingly small. It is surprisingly small. I think my in laws pool is bigger. That's an exaggeration. The pool,

[00:32:04] CHELSEY DONN: it's like, it's, it's, someone could have this pool in their home. Like, this is not like,

[00:32:10] TREY GERRALD: we walked out to the, like, the main area and saw how many people were crammed into the pool, we were like, holy shit, thank God we got rock

[00:32:20] CHELSEY DONN: right, like, I feel like if I went and saw the pool and it was so crowded and it was small and I was a rock star, I would like, not even go to the pool, I'd be like, screw

[00:32:27] TREY GERRALD: You know,

[00:32:28] CHELSEY DONN: to the hot tub

[00:32:30] TREY GERRALD: well, I do imagine that this new fourth ship that they're building will have a bigger pool because it is the

[00:32:36] CHELSEY DONN: be a common mistake, common complaint.

[00:32:38] TREY GERRALD: complaint. Yeah, the pool is surprisingly tiny like it is sort of odd. So that

[00:32:43] CHELSEY DONN: what do we think of like, we weirdly throw these compliments in the end, like, the room stewart was amazing, the gym was great, there was a track at the cruise, which was interesting,

[00:32:53] TREY GERRALD: it's really ping pong back and

[00:32:55] CHELSEY DONN: it's, it's very weird, and then, and then again, like, everything that we say in the end,

[00:33:02] TREY GERRALD: Are the things that other ships do more successfully.

[00:33:04] CHELSEY DONN: and it's just sort of like a reiteration of everything we've already said, like, you already said all that, we don't need to repeat it, you said it already, like, what do

[00:33:12] TREY GERRALD: end with the cliff notes.

[00:33:14] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, they end with the cliff notes of the review.

It's like,

[00:33:16] TREY GERRALD: And if they started with the cliff notes, I think it would have a better impact,

[00:33:21] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, start with the cliff notes and be like, if you care to hear more of my rant, continue. Otherwise, I'm not going back. It just was like weird the way that they structured it. Oh, okay. Do we think that this is funny at all?

[00:33:34] TREY GERRALD: I think the chicken parm is a funny point of view. I don't think that Shorty is intending to be funny.

[00:33:41] CHELSEY DONN: but we're entertained by the point of view.

[00:33:44] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, I think I was entertained, I, but I don't trust them, I don't, it might be common, I think like if you are a traditionalist when it comes to cruises, Virgin is not for you, cause I also want to share that one of their main performers in this like main show that we saw is like, I don't know what their pronouns are, but they present as a male, and in the show, there's like a half drag, like half man, half woman, and then they're like, topless a lot, and they're wearing heels the whole show, and even I like, I looked around a couple times because I was like, wow, this is like really woke and like really gender as a

[00:34:25] CHELSEY DONN: and you are like triggered like, are there people that are gonna like judge these people? Are there people that are

[00:34:30] TREY GERRALD: I mean, I was honestly trying to find a one star that talked about like the liberal agenda because, because it made me feel like people must be being uncomfortable, right? Because that's like the culture I grew up in. So I felt uncomfortable thinking that people would be uncomfortable. So that's just like.

That's present. Like Virgin is all inclusive and they're like

[00:34:52] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, I guess so. I just feel like, again, if you're gonna go virgin, if you're gonna like take this experience, you gotta know, like, I would never, and again, my parents are liberal guys, very, but I would never recommend my parents going on a cruise like this, right?

[00:35:08] TREY GERRALD: know,

[00:35:09] CHELSEY DONN: It's just, it's not going to be their bag.

It's going to be all the frills that this kind of cruise is going to offer are not going to really be the frills that my parents would want, right? They would want more luxury. They would want a huge pool that they could sit around. They would, you know, they just would want different things, which is what is so great, I think about Virgin is like, if you're in this demographic, it's not cheap, this is what you want to do.

And that's what I'm like, I guess that's like the value that I'm getting

[00:35:37] TREY GERRALD: I think so too.

[00:35:39] CHELSEY DONN: A roundabout way is that it's really not for everyone. And if I were going to go on this cruise or if I was going to consider it, I should do my due diligence and make sure that I am that person because maybe truthfully, maybe I'm not, and I do think that that's impactful.

[00:35:54] TREY GERRALD: I do too. I, yeah. Let's crown shorty. Let's

[00:35:57] CHELSEY DONN: I'm ready. Let's do

[00:35:58] TREY GERRALD: Okay. So Chelsea and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards. Now, in an effort to be fair and not influence one another, we will simultaneously reveal our ratings.

[00:36:09] VOICEOVER: The Queens are tabulating. Time for


[00:36:17] CHELSEY DONN: I'm so torn between two. Oh my God, really? Okay, they're very interesting. So I'm holding up two and a half crowns. Trey is holding up, is that four and a half crowns?

[00:36:28] TREY GERRALD: Yeah,

[00:36:29] CHELSEY DONN: I'm shocked. Can't wait to hear more about that. But guys, I was stuck between two and two and a half. And I, I decided to go with Two and a half because I do feel like there's information here.

I do feel like I'm coming away with, like I said, like I gotta do some research or like maybe I would ask them about the infirmary. I don't know. Like there, I, I feel like I'm armed with some information here, but at the same time, I can't shy away from the fact that I just don't trust Shorty. I just feel like Shorty.

It's a little bit of a complainer. Really, it's hard for me when you mix in legitimate complaints with things that aren't, then I don't know what I believe and what I don't believe, right? Because like we started this whole review with one, I'm admitting that I'm ranting, which I'm like, okay, and then we started complaining about the 10 minute wait, like, you know, we just, we started complaining about things that like weren't complaints.

So, there were some legitimate complaints in here, but they got kind of muddied by all of these complaints that maybe weren't valuable and just really because I just don't know if I can trust Shorty as a narrator and I don't believe I would be able to full stop here and not read more reviews, I decided to go with Trey's favorite, middle of the road, two and a half crowns.

And I just couldn't award Shorty more than that. But Trey, you almost made Shorty your Review Queen, which after our whole conversation, I got to say, I'm shocked. So I want to hear, what are you thinking?

[00:37:54] TREY GERRALD: Well, I was torn between four and four and a half, and all of the points you just made makes me wish I had said four, because I do have some critiques. Honestly, I think the value here is that I don't like Shorty, and all of Shorty's are very clearly not a complaint I would have, I don't care about chicken parm, and I am very delicate around servers, so I wouldn't just have an expectation that like every single one that walked by owes me something, and like I don't really care about a pool necessarily, and you know, I'm not dealing with any of the gym stuff, dancing at 11.

45, I hate fucking dancing, so I don't care if it's at 2 in the morning, I'm not participating. And, like, they bring up enough points that are unapplicable to me that it actually has a lot of value because then I start to think, great, all right, this is useful information because it sounds like Shorty and I probably do not share the same opinion on a lot of things.

So it sort of swayed me to think this probably is more for me than it is for Shorty. The reason I'm torn between the half crown and the full crown Taking away is because I hate all the dot to dots.

[00:39:03] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. Oh my God. We didn't even

[00:39:04] TREY GERRALD: this, like, This drooling on, you know, I, I think they could have used an edit. I, I have, you know, personal opinions about the like, uh, cliff notes at the end versus the top, which is just, you know, my opinion, but I can't really distinguish the truthful shady.

I kind of think it's shady. I mean, I definitely think it's shady, but I, I don't know that if it's, I don't know that's true. I don't know that I believe Shorty, but because of what they say, I think that's so far removed from me. That I sort of gather a lot of useful information, so,

[00:39:34] CHELSEY DONN: That's like, fascinating, Trey. It's like, in a weird roundabout way, this one star for you pushed you more towards the booking, maybe, than Shorty would've intended, which is a, kind of an interesting fliparoo, right?

[00:39:51] TREY GERRALD: yeah, that is how it landed.

[00:39:53] CHELSEY DONN: That's fascinating to me. All right. Love that.

[00:39:58] TREY GERRALD: game time! Wee oo wee oo wee oo wee oo! Chelsey, I have prepared a game for you.

[00:40:04] CHELSEY DONN: okay.

[00:40:05] TREY GERRALD: It's

[00:40:05] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:40:07] TREY GERRALD: Is It Tom Cruise or Terry Cruise?

[00:40:12] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my god,

[00:40:14] TREY GERRALD: I'm gonna give you a statement and you're gonna tell me is it Tom Cruise or is it Terry Cruise?

[00:40:21] CHELSEY DONN: Terry Crews,

[00:40:23] TREY GERRALD: Are you googling to see who it is?

[00:40:26] CHELSEY DONN: yeah, NFL,

[00:40:28] TREY GERRALD: I can neither confirm nor deny because I don't want to ruin the game, but But yeah, Terry Crews started as a football player and they're like a television personality and actor.

[00:40:39] CHELSEY DONN: White Chicks or something I think, I don't know,

[00:40:41] TREY GERRALD: Do you see his photo? You don't know who Terry Crews is?

[00:40:44] CHELSEY DONN: I mean I know that I've heard the name, he definitely looks familiar,

[00:40:49] TREY GERRALD: He like, I think he was a host of like, Ninja Warrior and like, you know, he's like, he became,

[00:40:56] CHELSEY DONN: body, hello,

[00:40:57] TREY GERRALD: yes, and he's married to a woman and he does. He is a devout Christian and he became more popular in pop culture because Terry Crews spoke out about being MeToo'd by a very famous male agent and there was a lawsuit and Time Magazine named Terry Crews like the most influential person, male in the MeToo movement.

[00:41:21] CHELSEY DONN: oh wow, okay,

[00:41:23] TREY GERRALD: All right, so here we go. So this might be funnier since you don't really know who Terry Crews is.

[00:41:28] CHELSEY DONN: god, but why Terry Crews, oh Crews, I'm an idiot. Okay, I was like, what does that have to do with cruise ships?

[00:41:35] TREY GERRALD: So, Tom Cruise, do you know who that is?

[00:41:37] CHELSEY DONN: I do know who Tom Cruise is. Risky business, Scientology.

[00:41:41] TREY GERRALD: so, Terry Crews is spelled C R E W S.

[00:41:45] CHELSEY DONN: Right, I got it.

[00:41:46] TREY GERRALD: So, is it Cruz or Cruz? You ready? Terry or Tom?

[00:41:50] CHELSEY DONN: Terry or Tom.

[00:41:51] TREY GERRALD: Alright, this is gonna be fun. Alright, Chelsey,

[00:41:56] CHELSEY DONN: Yes.

[00:41:56] TREY GERRALD: Tom Cruz or Terry Cruz?

[00:42:00] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:42:01] TREY GERRALD: He was born in Flint, Michigan.

[00:42:04] CHELSEY DONN: Ooh. I'm gonna go with Terry Cruise.

[00:42:12] TREY GERRALD: That's right, Terry

[00:42:14] CHELSEY DONN: Whew.

[00:42:14] TREY GERRALD: was born in Flint,

[00:42:16] CHELSEY DONN: crazy. Okay.

[00:42:17] TREY GERRALD: Alright, Tom Cruz or Terry Cruz?

[00:42:20] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:42:21] TREY GERRALD: He has a day named after him in Japan.

[00:42:26] CHELSEY DONN: Hmm. I think Tom Cruise?

[00:42:33] TREY GERRALD: right.

[00:42:34] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:42:35] TREY GERRALD: I don't know what he's done with Japan, but there's a Tom Cruise

[00:42:39] CHELSEY DONN: feel like Tom Cruise is such a, like, international icon type star, that I, that, like, that makes sense to me.

[00:42:47] TREY GERRALD: All right, Tom Cruise or Terry Cruise. His mother was 18 when he was born.

[00:42:53] CHELSEY DONN: Ooh, I don't know why, but I'm gonna say Tom. I'm wrong, okay, okay.

[00:43:05] TREY GERRALD: it was

[00:43:06] CHELSEY DONN: That was Terry Crews. Okay,

[00:43:08] TREY GERRALD: Unfortunately, but it's okay. Okay, here we go.

[00:43:11] CHELSEY DONN: okay.

[00:43:11] TREY GERRALD: Tom Cruise or Terry Cruise. Attended 15 schools in 14 years.

[00:43:21] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my god. Tom?

[00:43:29] TREY GERRALD: That's right.

[00:43:30] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, that's like, that makes sense for how weird he is. I feel like that, like, sort of justifies, like, that's a hard life.

[00:43:39] TREY GERRALD: And his dad was like, uh, in the Navy or some, some

[00:43:43] CHELSEY DONN: yeah, because I thought maybe with Top Gun, maybe there was some sort of a military in the family, you know, I'm really digging deep here.

[00:43:51] TREY GERRALD: Okay. Tom Cruise or Terry Cruise? Attended college on a full scholarship.

[00:44:02] CHELSEY DONN: I'm gonna say Terry Crews.

[00:44:04] TREY GERRALD: That's right. And interestingly, Terry Cruise went to college for performance art

[00:44:11] CHELSEY DONN: Wow, okay.

[00:44:12] TREY GERRALD: and auditioned for art, sorry, tried out for the football team and they offered him a full scholarship.

[00:44:18] CHELSEY DONN: Wow, that's crazy.

[00:44:19] TREY GERRALD: Okay, so far you are in a grand sweep here,

[00:44:22] CHELSEY DONN: Warren won.

[00:44:23] TREY GERRALD: yes. Okay, Tom Cruise or Terry Crews, their first job in the arts Was as a courtroom sketch artist.

[00:44:34] CHELSEY DONN: Ooh, Terry, Terry Crews.

[00:44:42] TREY GERRALD: That's right. That's a job.

[00:44:45] CHELSEY DONN: I just feel like my rationale there was that I think Tom Crews was like pretty young when he started acting.

[00:44:52] TREY GERRALD: Interesting. Very interesting.

[00:44:54] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:44:55] TREY GERRALD: This, I don't think this comes up, but Tom was a sports player as well.

[00:44:59] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, Tom Crews was? Okay.

[00:45:01] TREY GERRALD: Okay. Chelsea, is this Tom Cruise or Terry Cruz that said quote. I have read hundreds of personal development books.

[00:45:12] CHELSEY DONN: Ooh, this one is tricky, Trey. God, I'm gonna say Terry just because I feel like it could be a Tom trap.

[00:45:20] TREY GERRALD: Good job.

[00:45:22] CHELSEY DONN: Oh God, okay.

[00:45:23] TREY GERRALD: Hmm, you know Tom ain't reading more than one

[00:45:25] CHELSEY DONN: I know, I was just, well, I was

[00:45:26] TREY GERRALD: Dianetics.

[00:45:27] CHELSEY DONN: gonna say, ha ha, I was gonna say maybe like they're all Scientology self help books or something.

[00:45:33] TREY GERRALD: Although I know very little about both of these gentlemen, but I did discover that Tom Cruise actually wanted to be a priest, and was like a very devout Christian growing up before they fell into Scientology. Okay, here we go. Tom Cruise or Terry Cruise? Sued a newspaper? A magazine and a gay porn actor for alleging that he was a homosexual.

This is three separate lawsuits.

[00:46:06] CHELSEY DONN: I'm gonna go with Tom.

[00:46:08] TREY GERRALD: That's right. But word on the street is that both of these gentlemen are homosexuals. It's

[00:46:15] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, oh, it's true.

[00:46:16] TREY GERRALD: I think if you knew more about Terry Crews, you would, the question would have been harder.

[00:46:20] CHELSEY DONN: okay, okay.

[00:46:22] TREY GERRALD: Chelsey, Tom Crews or Terry Crews had an abusive father.

[00:46:32] CHELSEY DONN: Tom?

[00:46:33] VOICEOVER: Ooh, ooh,

[00:46:35] TREY GERRALD: Okay, so that was a trick question. So they both did.

[00:46:39] CHELSEY DONN: Am I not, oh,

[00:46:40] TREY GERRALD: So you get half a point.

[00:46:43] CHELSEY DONN: okay,

[00:46:43] TREY GERRALD: never introduced half

[00:46:44] CHELSEY DONN: that was definitely a trick question, okay,

[00:46:46] TREY GERRALD: Okay, here's our last question. And then I do have a bonus tiebreaker, which I, you're not going to need, so it'll be a bonus. Tom Crews or Terry Crews has the same Name as their father.

[00:47:00] CHELSEY DONN: ooh, Terry, Terry Cruz, Tom, there's two Tom Cruises out there,

[00:47:10] TREY GERRALD: There's actually four,

[00:47:13] CHELSEY DONN: he's the fourth,

[00:47:14] TREY GERRALD: and this was also a trick question, so you get another half point because they both are named after their father.

[00:47:20] CHELSEY DONN: my god, Trey, you should have told me at the top that it could be both, but anyway,

[00:47:24] TREY GERRALD: Why would I?

[00:47:25] CHELSEY DONN: oh,

[00:47:26] TREY GERRALD: Okay, are you ready? This is the ultimate test. This is gonna be worth. Let's see, you only got one wrong because your two halves ended up being a hole for right. So,

[00:47:36] CHELSEY DONN: oh, right, right, okay,

[00:47:37] TREY GERRALD: so you got one wrong. So, if you get this right, then you win. If you get this wrong,

[00:47:45] CHELSEY DONN: No, if I get this right, I, wrong, I lose, I win anyway.

[00:47:49] TREY GERRALD: how do we up the stakes? I don't know. I guess we can't, because you are sweeping.

[00:47:53] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. Well, just ask me.

[00:47:56] TREY GERRALD: Okay, Chelsey. Tom Cruise or Terry Cruise? Who's older?

[00:48:01] CHELSEY DONN: Ooh, God. It's like, I almost want to say they're the same age, but I think Tom.

[00:48:10] TREY GERRALD: Good job.

[00:48:10] CHELSEY DONN: Woo!

[00:48:11] TREY GERRALD: Chelsey! That was a fucking sweep! A sweep, Diva! But you didn't know who Terry Cruise was. I'm really proud of you, Chelsey. Good

[00:48:24] CHELSEY DONN: Thank you! Woo! Thank you! That was fun!

[00:48:27] TREY GERRALD: Golly, gee, am I proud of you.

[00:48:29] CHELSEY DONN: game! Cruz Cruz, you're really starting to think like me.

[00:48:33] TREY GERRALD: I'm really surprised you don't know who Terry Crews is, but

[00:48:35] CHELSEY DONN: I've definitely heard the name, but I, you know, I don't,

[00:48:37] TREY GERRALD: Oh, he was a series regular on Brooklyn Nine Nine.

[00:48:40] CHELSEY DONN: Didn't watch.

[00:48:41] TREY GERRALD: Me either.

[00:48:45] VOICEOVER: Wink! Review that review! Wink!

[00:48:55] TREY GERRALD: me that I need to work harder. And it is your turn, Chelsey. I'm so curious.

[00:49:02] CHELSEY DONN: That's right. If you're thinking everything is bad, well, clearly over 1, 000 people disagree because I have a five star review from TripAdvisor that is one of over 1, 000 five star reviews on

[00:49:15] TREY GERRALD: Wow.

[00:49:16] CHELSEY DONN: right? Just saying. My review is written by none other than Jasmine J with a subject, I don't think I could risk trying another cruise line.

Mm hmm.

[00:49:29] TREY GERRALD: Ooh. I can't wait to hear that one.

[00:49:32] CHELSEY DONN: Well, to hear the flip side, then you gotta join our

[00:49:37] TREY GERRALD: That is right, Chelsey Queen. Join us for the opposite review, as well as some personal antidotes, and a brand new round on the Meryl Go Round. ReviewThatReview. com slash Patreon so you can hear it. Ding!

[00:49:53] CHELSEY DONN: Patreon. Ding! Yes, available only to our members at review. review. com slash Patreon.

[00:50:00] TREY GERRALD: Where, Chelsey?

[00:50:02] CHELSEY DONN: Review. review. com slash Patreon.

[00:50:05] TREY GERRALD: Oh, I wasn't sure if I heard it. I just want to make sure that the listeners know that you can hear if you go to reviewthatreview. com slash patreon.

[00:50:12] CHELSEY DONN: All right.

[00:50:13] TREY GERRALD: I don't think we say it enough.

[00:50:15] CHELSEY DONN: Review. review. com slash Patreon.

[00:50:18] TREY GERRALD: Okay, we did it, Queen. That is another round on the R U A R Q Ferris Wheel of Where's My Chicken Parm?

[00:50:26] CHELSEY DONN: Thank you for joining us today and join us on ReviewThatReview. com slash patreon. If you like what you heard today, please tell a friend.

[00:50:34] TREY GERRALD: If you did not like what you heard, please tell an enemy. Holy moly, I really wonder why this was said. We'll rub one out to you, Jimmy Buffett, is that the saying? What is it? Is it not? Rub one out?

[00:50:49] CHELSEY DONN: just doesn't feel that feels like very sexual to me, but I could be Raise

[00:50:53] TREY GERRALD: yeah, rub one out, is like masturbating, Wait, how do you, we'll lift one to Jimmy Buffett?

[00:50:59] CHELSEY DONN: we'll raise

[00:51:00] TREY GERRALD: you,

[00:51:01] CHELSEY DONN: a glass

[00:51:03] TREY GERRALD: wow, what a gorgeous tease, I'm

[00:51:05] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, I wonder why we said that, yeah,

[00:51:08] TREY GERRALD: as I'm wondering, it's really important that you remember,

[00:51:12] CHELSEY DONN: visit ReviewThatReview. com slash Patreon, And also, ignore the haters, you're a queen,

[00:51:21] TREY GERRALD: ReviewThatReview. com, Patreon, Gender Nonspecific Queen, My,

[00:51:29] VOICEOVER: Sign up directly on Apple Podcast to hear our weekly members only after show unlock additional benefits when you become a Patreon slash patreon. Follow us on all the socials at the review queens and join our mailing Arc vetch line is open 24 7 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.

Don't be a ogana. Call the kvetch line today.

[00:51:54] CHELSEY DONN: At ReviewThatReview. com slash Patreon,

[00:51:59] TREY GERRALD: where,

[00:52:00] CHELSEY DONN: ReviewThatReview. com slash

[00:52:02] TREY GERRALD: how's the fastest you can say that,

[00:52:05] CHELSEY DONN: Patreon, ReviewThatReview.

[00:52:07] TREY GERRALD: it's like Meryl Go Round Auctioneer.

[00:52:08] CHELSEY DONN: you do it fast?

[00:52:10] TREY GERRALD: ReviewThatReview. com, ReviewThatReview. com, ReviewThatReview. com, Patreon. It's a tongue twister.

[00:52:16] CHELSEY DONN: It is. It's a lot of movement in the mouth.

[00:52:21] TREY GERRALD: Ew, I hate that smacking sound.

[00:52:22] CHELSEY DONN: I know. All right. See you on Friday, Patreon Queens, ReviewThatReview. com slash patreon.

[00:52:28] TREY GERRALD: Patreon. Bye!

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.



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