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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 125: "LA Haunted Hayride - 2 Star Review"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 125: "LA Haunted Hayride - 2 Star Review"


*Please pardon any and all spelling errors!

[00:00:00] THEME SONG: Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] CHELSEY DONN: Hello!

[00:00:32] TREY GERRALD: Hello

[00:00:33] CHELSEY DONN: Ooh!

[00:00:34] TREY GERRALD: there, and welcome to Review That Review, the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing,

[00:00:42] CHELSEY DONN: Reviews!

[00:00:46] TREY GERRALD: you got me, is Chelsey

[00:00:49] CHELSEY DONN: And that is Trey Gerrald!

[00:00:52] TREY GERRALD: And when we come together in our spooky costumes, we are

[00:00:56] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens,

[00:01:00] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, I did think about wearing a costume today, but then I just thought, I just wanted to go as RQC today,

[00:01:07] TREY GERRALD: scary enough.

[00:01:08] CHELSEY DONN: scary enough being real, Speaking of things that are scary, Trey, would you like to,

[00:01:17] VOICEOVER: Lodge a complaint,

[00:01:18] TREY GERRALD: Do you remember our very first Halloween episode? I came in full drag.

[00:01:23] CHELSEY DONN: you like, took my breath away, Like, you were so gorgeous and I just didn't, I, I like, couldn't even contain myself. I was just staring into your beautiful blue eyes.

[00:01:32] TREY GERRALD: They weren't mine. They were Casey Becker's. They weren't

[00:01:35] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. Into Casey Becker's. Beautiful bliss. Either way you can claim the eyes.

[00:01:39] TREY GERRALD: that just made me think of a good complaint.

[00:01:42] CHELSEY DONN: Do you wanna use it or do you wanna, do you wanna save it?

[00:01:45] TREY GERRALD: I don't know. I'm trying to decide if I think it's, if it's interesting enough or not, but I'm just gonna go with it since we're here and I'll use this other one later. Okay, so I want to lodge a complaint against drag queens and drag performers that wear colored contacts.

[00:02:03] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. Okay.

[00:02:04] TREY GERRALD: I, for some reason, it really freaks me out.

Now look,

[00:02:07] CHELSEY DONN: Is it a specific color? Like, is it when they don't look real or if it's like they look real it still freaks you out?

[00:02:14] TREY GERRALD: like if you're intentionally trying to do like something spooky and scary and you're like doing like fully dilated eyeballs It's like when you're wearing like a blue contact That's like not a human blue like if you're just okay and I just want to preface this by saying like obviously we're in a culture where like Everyone is able to, like, express themselves the way they want to, and that is definitely the way it

[00:02:36] CHELSEY DONN: And it's Halloween. So I mean you should be able to.

[00:02:39] TREY GERRALD: it's Halloween, yes, but I, and I get that, like, you should show up however it is that you want to, and if anyone has a thought or opinion, it's on them, so it must be something about me, but for whatever reason, generally speaking, I feel like drag is, like, in its simplest form, creating realism that is not authentic to you, so, you I get that you're wearing, like, fake eyebrows, and you're wearing, like, fake boobs, and hips, like, everything's fake, so I don't know why the color context

[00:03:06] CHELSEY DONN: Now I was gonna say there's so much over the, like I don't even think about realism when I think of drag, I think of like fierce beyond life, like living on a plane that is so big but yet so authentic in the same moment and it's That's what's so beautiful to me about drag is it's like so fabulous. It's like everyone's most fabulous version of themselves.

And I love that.

[00:03:29] TREY GERRALD: Well, obviously, drag is a huge umbrella

[00:03:31] CHELSEY DONN: Yes. And I know you love,

[00:03:32] TREY GERRALD: every version of drag.

[00:03:34] CHELSEY DONN: that's

[00:03:34] TREY GERRALD: But for whatever reason,

[00:03:35] CHELSEY DONN: guess that's what it evokes

[00:03:37] TREY GERRALD: I just have a complaint about fake colored contacts. Now, I always get these ads on Instagram for contacts that are like, really unclockable, that I'm even like, maybe I want some like, brown contacts, like, because they like, gradiate, they ombre, they literally can trick you, yes.

But when you just have like, a weird blue contact, I don't, I don't know what it is, I don't know why it bothers me so much.

[00:04:03] CHELSEY DONN: No, I hear you.

[00:04:04] TREY GERRALD: so...

[00:04:05] CHELSEY DONN: there feels something that's like inauthentic or weird about it and also like eyes are the windows to the soul So there's something about like looking into someone's eyes and immediately knowing that there's like something that is artificial in the eyes I can see how that would be Jarring like I don't if I'm talking to someone for a really long time like granted if it's sunny I get it But like I don't really want you to have sunglasses on the entire time We're talking because then I feel like I can't connect with you like I need to look into your eyes I could see how that would be jarring.

I can validate that.

[00:04:38] TREY GERRALD: Well, I think now that you're saying that, it's sort of, it is making me pull out a little bit, because whenever I see people in normal life that have colored contacts, I do always sort of like, I clock them immediately and I have a judgmental thought. It is something I haven't really investigated.

Obviously, like, I'm going to have an impulsive reaction to things, but my evolved self is... Constantly trying to practice, let people be people,

[00:05:03] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. And what is that about? Like, what is that reaction about? Within

[00:05:07] TREY GERRALD: with sunglasses or like obnoxious frames, like the left eye of glasses is like a square and the right eye is a triangle,

[00:05:17] CHELSEY DONN: we need to talk about this. So my dad is, I think we've spoken about before, is his entire like personality is glasses. Like he has a million different pairs of glasses and they're fabulous and they're over the top and I love them. But he has this one pair of glasses where one of them is a circle and the other one is a square and I like Cannot stand these glasses and we get into fights about them because he's like everyone loves them and I'm like It's just so jarring for me.

Like I can't.

[00:05:45] TREY GERRALD: like I was on at the gym on the treadmill and like Wayne Brady, what's the shit, let's make a deal,

[00:05:50] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah.

[00:05:51] TREY GERRALD: some random person contestant on there had those frames and I just got mad. Like, I didn't even, like, I just, like, looked and I was like, I don't know what it, why? Why am I so judgmental of that? I don't know.

I don't know what I'm even talking about anymore. My complaint is just, like, and maybe it is something to the fact of, like,

[00:06:08] CHELSEY DONN: Connecting.

[00:06:09] TREY GERRALD: why do the eyes make me feel the most connection? I don't know. Because I guess I just want to be seen. And I don't know why I'm not, like, empathetic. I don't know why the judgment is, like,

[00:06:24] CHELSEY DONN: right. Well, I think it's just like we go through life and then things like dingus you have a Visceral response to it and you can't really control it and how I kill flies, right? Like, I just, like, I have a visceral response and, like, you know, swatting at it before I even really think about why am I so angry?

Well, I think, I don't know. Anyway, this could be applied to any complaint, I think.

[00:06:51] TREY GERRALD: We need to investigate that because I don't know. The only thing I can think that's connected to my mom is that my mom always said she had green eyes like Jesus. And I don't know where that came from. Cause did Jesus have green eyes? Because wouldn't

[00:07:05] CHELSEY DONN: to my knowledge, I mean, I don't really know what color Jesus's eyes

[00:07:08] TREY GERRALD: They probably would have been brown

[00:07:10] CHELSEY DONN: I have no idea how, what, what are we basing that off of?

[00:07:14] TREY GERRALD: while he was Israeli.

[00:07:16] CHELSEY DONN: You couldn't be Israeli and have green eyes.

[00:07:19] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, I guess that's true.

[00:07:20] CHELSEY DONN: Listen, look at you stereotyping Jesus

[00:07:25] TREY GERRALD: Well, I don't think I'm the one stereotyping Jesus. I think there's an entire industry that's stereotyping Jesus. I'm asking questions.

[00:07:33] CHELSEY DONN: and people speaking how people who dress up like Jesus.

[00:07:36] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, let's shift because this got dark. Um, should we jump into an online review?

[00:07:42] CHELSEY DONN: I would love that. Let's do it.

[00:07:44] TREY GERRALD: Let's do it.

[00:07:47] VOICEOVER: Review That Review,

[00:07:50] CHELSEY DONN: As you know, we are your trusty review queens. We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

[00:07:57] TREY GERRALD: We read you a review and break it down. Then we rate the impact of that review on a scale from zero to five crowns. It's a very regal process that we like to call.

[00:08:07] VOICEOVER: That Kvetch,

[00:08:08] CHELSEY DONN: That's

[00:08:09] TREY GERRALD: So, Chelsea, have you got for us today? Chelsea goes,

[00:08:15] CHELSEY DONN: Well, on this All Hallows Eve, I have decided, oh my God, I'm like creeped out even by looking at this picture, you guys, to take us to

[00:08:31] TREY GERRALD: Ooh.

[00:08:36] CHELSEY DONN: the Los Angeles Haunted Hayride. So this is a review of the renowned Los Angeles Haunted Hayride, which is in Griffith Park. Which is something that I would never attend, personally, so I'm just gonna say that right off the bat, but, or Salia D did attend, do you want a spelling? O R S O L Y A,

[00:08:59] TREY GERRALD: Or Solia.

[00:09:00] CHELSEY DONN: Or Sol Ya, Or Sol Ya, Or Sol Ya,

[00:09:04] TREY GERRALD: gonna take our soul, I think.

[00:09:06] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, Or Sol Ya, Okay, I like that.

Alright, so, Or Sol Ya D wrote this two star review about the Los Angeles Haunted Hayride, ready?

[00:09:18] TREY GERRALD: from?

[00:09:19] CHELSEY DONN: Sorry, the review, I forget all the time, sorry. This review is from Yelp, in fact, Or Solya is an elite reviewer.

[00:09:28] TREY GERRALD: Hmm.

[00:09:29] CHELSEY DONN: Alright, here we go. I adore everything about Halloween. October, pumpkins, fall, harvest time, etc. I'm quite biased, being that my birthday is in the month of October.

But it's still the best time of the year, am I right? This arduous passion means that I love all Halloween activities, Whether wholesome, fun, or creepy gore, I am in. Every year at Halloween time, the local media screams about the L. A. haunted hayride in Griffith Park. I've Bluntly, heard terrible things about it, It's lame and too expensive, So frankly, I never intended to attend, However, a group of friends decided to try it out and were paying for my ticket, So I couldn't refuse, Was it as bad as I expected?, Simply, Yes, it was pretty much the level of suckage I thought would be present. The LA Haunted Hayride is located in Griffith Park in the area near the carousel and takes place smack in the old zoo. Take Crystal Springs and park in the large lot by the Old Zoo, which immediately opens to the entrance of the festivities.

The lot does fill up, so prepare to trek it in proper shoes if need be.

[00:11:10] TREY GERRALD: hmm.

[00:11:11] CHELSEY DONN: I also recommend pre purchasing tickets. The L. A. Haunted Hayride. Isn't just a hayride, there are other features, such as a maze and haunted house, but guys, this place is expensive, prices start at 50 per person, what the, question mark, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point. I'm in Griffith Park, for God's sakes, I would go to these types of things as a kid for about 10 bucks max, Jesus! We arrived around 7pm and the park was already starting to fill up, Be prepared for this as it is literally what you will be dealing with the entire time when visiting the LA Haunted Hayride, What do I mean?

The lines here are insane and pretty much a maze in themselves. You will stand in a line just to stand in another line. All of the zigzagging lines are a mini workout and nerves can start to get grated. This build better mean that the hayride is amazing, but it isn't. Once you finally get to the front of the line, the hayride consists of a tractor pulled flatbed covered in hay.

In which patrons sit on the floor rather than on hay bales, as one would expect. The actual hay ride is a grade school carnival. There is only one semi creepy moment of the whole ride. The one credit given to the hay ride is that the tractor driver moves slowly enough for everyone to see all the shows and literally stops at certain points.

Plus, the actors do actually attempt to creep you out and aren't half assing it, but the overall theme and sets are cringeworthy and not in a Halloween way. To say the least, the insanely long line and the sky high price is a travesty and not worth it at all. The L. A. Haunted Hayride shouldn't be priced at more than 15 and even that is high.

We were so disappointed, we didn't even check out the other attractions, which we had access to, for the record, definitely stay away from this, if you have a hay allergy, the hay is everywhere, on the ground, in the line, etc., and not just on the actual hayride, this is hay bales galore, The L. A. Haunted Hayride is definitely as lame as people make it out to be and is only suggested for kids or teens or on a date.

Perhaps parents with children, but I don't see how adults can be okay with paying 50 for this crap. There are so many other equally priced but higher quality Halloween attractions in L. A. And ones that are even cheaper, Stay away from the LA Haunted Hayride, Unless you have money to blow and love standing in lines for a sad payoff.

[00:14:48] TREY GERRALD: Wow. How old do you think or Solia is?

[00:14:53] CHELSEY DONN: I, I mean, I get the vibe that Orsolea is like late 20s,

[00:14:57] TREY GERRALD: Like, because they talk about going out with their friends, like, I did get a younger vibe.

[00:15:02] CHELSEY DONN: Right, like I just feel like being so obsessed with your birthday, And like doing something with your friends to the point where your friends are gonna buy a ticket, It just feels very like late 20s to me.

[00:15:13] TREY GERRALD: Well, alright, so, I've actually did, I've been to the Haunted Hayride in LA twice,

[00:15:19] CHELSEY DONN: You have?

[00:15:20] TREY GERRALD: yes, and had a very different experience, so,

[00:15:25] CHELSEY DONN: Oh,

[00:15:25] TREY GERRALD: very interesting.

[00:15:27] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:15:27] TREY GERRALD: So I, well, first of all, I just want to start where Orsolya did. Chelsey, what do you think is the best time of the year?

[00:15:35] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, I think my birthday, like I think summer, and like my birthday is June 22nd, which is the summer solstice. So I love the summer. And I just assume that everybody feels the same way. So maybe it is something to do with when your birthday is, because what about you?

[00:15:48] TREY GERRALD: Well, I do think the change of every season is, like, the best time of the year. Like, I, I actually agree and think that October is, like, the best. I just, I think fall is my favorite season. And now with global warming and how the Earth's about to die, we don't have, like,

[00:16:03] CHELSEY DONN: not talk about that.

[00:16:04] TREY GERRALD: like, we don't have fall really anymore, you know?

But my birthday is in spring, and I think, like, Spring is so lovely, but I also recognize when it turns to summer,

[00:16:14] CHELSEY DONN: is lovely.

[00:16:15] TREY GERRALD: that's really awesome, too, because you're like, yay, warmth, but,

[00:16:18] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, I mean, I would definitely say spring and summer are my favorites because I feel like they're about life and the others are about death.

[00:16:24] TREY GERRALD: well, I do agree with Arcelia in a way, because I love Halloween, I love when

[00:16:30] CHELSEY DONN: You do love Halloween.

[00:16:32] TREY GERRALD: do, but I love the, like, I love wearing sweaters, and I love scarves, and I love flannel, and I love, like, when people are, like, decorating their yard, like, it's everyone's just, like, in the spirit of play, which I think is really fun, and, and I like, Spooky things, but I hate haunted houses.

I hate walking through

[00:16:50] CHELSEY DONN: So you like the hayride because you're like in, in, uh, what do they call it?

[00:16:56] TREY GERRALD: And the

[00:16:57] CHELSEY DONN: in plain air or whatever it is, like you're like in open air.

[00:17:00] TREY GERRALD: Well, the thing is, is like, they cram people into the tractor thing. So like, you could be a lucky one. And I was like, pushing strangers to make sure I was in the center, because it is like, basically three rows of people. And I don't want to be on an end because

[00:17:13] CHELSEY DONN: Right. You don't want to be on the outside and get touched. Yeah.

[00:17:16] TREY GERRALD: Right. But they've thought about that. And so some of the people have like long sticks, and they like, like, aim for the people in the center but then of course at a certain point the tractor driver gets kidnapped and then you're like you have

[00:17:27] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, wow.

[00:17:29] TREY GERRALD: which is like

[00:17:30] CHELSEY DONN: When did you go? Just out of curiosity.

[00:17:32] TREY GERRALD: it would have been probably in 2016

[00:17:38] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:17:39] TREY GERRALD: oh maybe i've only been once i've only been once but okay don't make fun of me I've actually, like, watched full 45 minute, like, POV walkthroughs of it, because there is this, I feel like we must have talked about this on an aftershow, but there is one specific setup that you drive through that was spine tingling, bone chillingly terrifying.

[00:18:03] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my god, no, thank you.

[00:18:05] TREY GERRALD: But not in like a, not in a gruesome or like bloody way, It just, they like choreographed like 30 people turning their heads at you in an instant, like with the music, and it was so shocking, That I can't imagine not giving the thing more than five stars,

[00:18:20] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, Trey, we, we need to share, I think, on our Instagram this week the video that you took of me watching,

[00:18:30] TREY GERRALD: Know We Did Last Summer,

[00:18:31] CHELSEY DONN: I know what you did last summer. I was like terrified at the first jump scare and Trey caught it on video. You know, you guys know, I'm not about this life. But I, I'm willing to put that aside because it's Halloween and I wanted to get on board.

And that was why I loved Ursulia's review and how it started, because I thought Ursulia, in my opinion, and now I know Trey, you had a different experience, but I do feel like someone that loves Halloween, that loves October, that loves pumpkin. It just feels like to me, Ursulia is really game and like. Even though they didn't buy the ticket, I think it's sort of funny that they didn't buy the ticket.

They're so focused on the paying of how expensive it is. It's like, you didn't buy it, bitch. But anyway, not to be like that, but

[00:19:12] TREY GERRALD: well in this same conversation, they hated it, they hated the hayride so much that they were like, we're not even entertaining

[00:19:18] CHELSEY DONN: gonna do the other stuff.

[00:19:20] TREY GERRALD: but then I was sort of thinking, well like,

[00:19:22] CHELSEY DONN: You didn't take

[00:19:23] TREY GERRALD: to, is it fair to take, leave this review, but then I was like, well, I think if you hated it that much, that is review worthy,

[00:19:30] CHELSEY DONN: right. Totally. Corsolio went into this wanting it to be bad.

[00:19:35] TREY GERRALD: but they had been told that it was lame,

[00:19:37] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, I mean, I definitely think that paints a picture, just like when somebody tells you that a movie is bad and then you see it, like, yeah, like, I definitely think that there was an expectation, but I think that Orsolia was willing to be convinced otherwise,

[00:19:51] TREY GERRALD: You know what I just thought of? Imagine if you were the friend that paid for the ticket and the whole time Arcelia was like, A LEVEL OF SUCKAGE IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS ANTICIPATING! I would be like, Arcelia, you're out of the friend group.

[00:20:05] CHELSEY DONN: I don't know, I mean, do you think that Orsolia, I got the impression, which is interesting that you say that, that Orsolia was sort of the voice of the group,

[00:20:13] TREY GERRALD: It seems like the group was not enjoying it. And the comment about make sure you have appropriate shoes...

[00:20:18] CHELSEY DONN: Yes.

[00:20:19] TREY GERRALD: Who is gonna wear high heels to a haunted hayride?

[00:20:23] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my god, girl, if you're on a date or something like that, I can absolutely see girls showing up there in heels.

[00:20:30] TREY GERRALD: I can't do it. Wait, Orselio was upset that it's like a flatbed tractor that just has loose hay and They're not sitting on hay bales, and then at the end they're complaining that there's hay bales everywhere. Did you catch that? like, Orselio? Uh,

[00:20:43] CHELSEY DONN: I think that they're like talking about in line, I imagine that the lines are probably like separated by hay bales, I did think that that was weird, I mean, I'm assuming that they didn't do the hay bales thing, maybe because they thought they could fit more people in, but like when I think of a, I've gone on many hay rides, I've never gone on a haunted hay ride, but I've been on many hay rides, and you are sitting on like, it's like a bench made of hay, it's a hay bale bench. Have you never experienced that?

[00:21:11] TREY GERRALD: I don't know.

[00:21:12] CHELSEY DONN: I've never gone on a hayride, like a traditional hayride and just sat on loose on the ground hay, like that's crazy.

[00:21:19] TREY GERRALD: I didn't have a single thought or consideration about like the actual hayride. I was, like, scared. I was, like, scared of being

[00:21:26] CHELSEY DONN: You're like, wherever you want me to go, I'll just make myself small.

[00:21:30] TREY GERRALD: you obviously live exceedingly close to Griffith Park. You've been many times. You go all the time, right?

[00:21:35] CHELSEY DONN: for sure.

[00:21:36] TREY GERRALD: Okay. Would you say Griffith Park is small?

[00:21:40] CHELSEY DONN: Definitely not. No.

[00:21:41] TREY GERRALD: So if you were presenting a function and you had to hire actors, hire people to construct stuff, hire drivers, hire all the stuff, how much do you think is a fair price?

To do a Haunted Hayride. Because 50 does sound like a lot to me, I want to say that as well. I would think more

[00:21:58] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, I just think because of the mass amount of people that are going to be coming in and out of here also, I don't, this wasn't mentioned in our Solios review, but it was mentioned in some of the other reviews. So I don't know if this is the case. I know there was like a VIP ticket and a VIP line and a regular.

So I feel like 50 feels appropriate for the VIP, which maybe the friends did buy if it included the mazes and all of that other stuff, because I want to say I read some reviews that maybe mentioned like a cheaper ticket price, but it was like all the cart for the other stuff,

[00:22:33] TREY GERRALD: Well it sounds like when they went, the VIP ticket did not include like a VIP line.

[00:22:39] CHELSEY DONN: Right, although a lot of reviews were saying like I did buy the VIP and like I still waited in a

[00:22:46] TREY GERRALD: Well that's like Disney too, right? It's like now everyone goes and

[00:22:49] CHELSEY DONN: that's what the people were comparing it to, right? Exactly.

[00:22:51] TREY GERRALD: Or even, it's like

[00:22:53] CHELSEY DONN: it's like I'm glad I bought it because I would have waited like two hours instead of 30

[00:22:57] TREY GERRALD: it's like PreCheck, everyone is PreCheck now, so now sometimes you'll look over and the normal line is

[00:23:01] CHELSEY DONN: exactly,

[00:23:02] TREY GERRALD: Well, I feel like we talked about this in the past, about like, the Ren Faire, and I'm sure we talked about it at Halloween again, because it does occur to me, if you're gonna go two weeks before Halloween, you're probably gonna wait longer.

If you're going Halloween night, You're going to be there for 24 hours. You know what I mean? Like plan appropriately, I would say,

[00:23:23] CHELSEY DONN: right, because we know, we don't know exactly when this was, but we know that it was a birthday thing, and so we know that it was in October,

[00:23:29] TREY GERRALD: good point, Chelsey. I, I actually guarantee if we went to look, I bet the 50 is because it included access to everything else. That's a really good distinction. And, or Solia doesn't know cause she didn't pay, her friend, Tiffany paid.

[00:23:43] CHELSEY DONN: right, exactly, that is the one thing about Ursulia that's like kind of bothering me, is that they've like double, triple, quadruple down on this whole message about the cost, But then they also told us that they didn't pay for it. And then at no place where they were like, I'm so mad that my friend, Tiffany spent so much money, poor Tiffany.

I don't know. Like I think mentioned the price once it's like worthy of acknowledging it's kind of expensive, but don't you feel like they just, they hit it and they hit it and they hit it and they hit it and there's other attractions that are less and it's just like, come on, we got

[00:24:15] TREY GERRALD: yeah, it's very clear that the price point was outside of Orsaglio's comfort. And I also have the comparison to like, I only paid like 10 max as a kid. It's like, okay, that's why another reason why I wanted another age, because I'm like, of course things were cheaper when you were a kid, everything. Have you ever looked at the cost of milk?

[00:24:33] CHELSEY DONN: Right, right, right. What do you think my favorite part of this review was?

[00:24:39] TREY GERRALD: And now I'm nervous.

[00:24:40] CHELSEY DONN: If you have a hay allergy, definitely stay away,

[00:24:45] TREY GERRALD: It's in the title.

[00:24:46] CHELSEY DONN: mean,

[00:24:47] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, that.

[00:24:48] CHELSEY DONN: If you have a hay allergy,

[00:24:51] TREY GERRALD: Hey, hay is

[00:24:52] CHELSEY DONN: don't go to a hay ride, I mean, That to me was so funny,

[00:24:59] TREY GERRALD: I'm getting a feeling that Orsolio probably was like, I have asthma from the hay. Guys, I think I have a hay allergy.

[00:25:06] CHELSEY DONN: I'm having a hay fever.

[00:25:08] TREY GERRALD: I do recall how many people there were. I don't remember the lines and all of that, but there were like traffic controllers and like with like jackets and those wands. Like there was so

[00:25:21] CHELSEY DONN: an attempt at controlling the chaos.

[00:25:24] TREY GERRALD: Do you think it's valuable, new, unique information?

[00:25:28] CHELSEY DONN: Well, I do because I do get the feeling that Orsolia takes their job as an elite reviewer seriously, and I think they really break down the entire experience from parking your car. Like, I, I like being like, if you park your car and you get in the parking lot, then you're probably okay. If you park your car and you don't get in the parking lot, then you want to make sure you have comfortable shoes.

Like, this is how much it's gonna cost. Like, I do think that Orsolia... is, is, is detailed and intending to provide valuable information. As a reviewer, I do think that's true.

[00:26:01] TREY GERRALD: Yeah. The money does really come across. Like, it is, it does sound expensive to me, but I'm also thinking it's once a year and whatever. Spelling, grammar?

[00:26:10] CHELSEY DONN: Excellent.

[00:26:10] TREY GERRALD: I had a feeling. And then the Truthful Shady is challenging for me because I agree with your point that it does Come across that Orsalia is really game at the beginning Except they've been tainted by hearing it's lame and that they've never tried to go and that they wouldn't

[00:26:28] CHELSEY DONN: just like a quick side caveat about the tainted thing and whether or not that that plays a part in this review, anyone who goes to this Yelp page, the overall Yelp score is low. So. If you're going to go, it's two and a half, 2.

[00:26:47] TREY GERRALD: Holy moly.

[00:26:48] CHELSEY DONN: 1, 276 reviews. So I think almost maybe it's queenly that Arsolia calls it out.

[00:26:55] TREY GERRALD: Heard. That's a that's a good distinction

[00:26:57] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah,

[00:26:58] TREY GERRALD: I mean it, I think they're being truthful to their experience, and I think it's nice that it's a two star, not a one star, because it really feels like a very bad experience from Orsolia.

[00:27:08] CHELSEY DONN: And that leads us to like the common fluky, typical. I mean, I think what's interesting here for us as review queens, which I don't know how much we should consider this going in, is that you did experience it and you did have a good time.

[00:27:20] TREY GERRALD: I think the commonality factor is like people have different barometers of fear.

[00:27:26] CHELSEY DONN: Right. Yeah.

[00:27:27] TREY GERRALD: It's going to be subjective no matter

[00:27:28] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, yeah, I mean at the end there, I mean it says stay away unless you have money to blow or love standing in lines for a sad payoff, I mean, we are kind of like generalizing everyone's experience I think in that conclusion in a way, so,

[00:27:43] TREY GERRALD: but there is a, there is an impact for me because I have the instant story. Like I can see that waiting in the line starts to really grate on your nerves. As they say, it's like, it starts to get worse and worse and worse. And then you don't really feel spooked out, but there. The thing I love about Halloween is, like, we all are, like, tingly, giggly, like, eee, eee, oh, God, it's scary, like, there's fun, that's why seeing a scary movie in a theater is fun, because you're sharing the experience of the fright, so for the whole group to be, like, this is terrible, let's just go home, that's tough to swallow.

[00:28:19] CHELSEY DONN: I think so. Okay. Was there humor here? Were we laughing? I mean, I was laughing a little bit with Orsolia. I wasn't like bowled over, but I kind of like have a vision of who I think Orsolia is based on the way that they write.

[00:28:30] TREY GERRALD: hay bales galore,

[00:28:32] CHELSEY DONN: It feels galore.

[00:28:33] TREY GERRALD: let's take our Zyrtec and crown.

[00:28:35] CHELSEY DONN: All right, let's, let's go into the crowning.

[00:28:37] TREY GERRALD: So Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards, in an effort to be fair and not influence one another, we will simultaneously reveal our ratings.

[00:28:47] VOICEOVER: The Queens Are Tabulating, Total


[00:28:55] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, interesting, so I'm holding up four and a half crowns, Trey is holding up three and a half crowns, Trey, you go first, not middle of the road, diva, why three and a half, a full crown over, middle of the road, from you, Trey,

[00:29:08] TREY GERRALD: you, I was gonna lead with that, I think it's better the middle of the road to me, oh my god I'm realizing you're a half crown from Review Queen. Yeah, uh, were there photos?

[00:29:18] CHELSEY DONN: the rent,

[00:29:19] TREY GERRALD: that's fine. It's, it would have been dark anyway. So, all right, I'm saying three and a half because I think that Orsolia really captures their experience in a way that comes across as truthful.

I'm a little bit nitpicky about some of the like details only because I don't know that Orsolia's expectations would have been mine, and I do think that 50 is high.

[00:29:41] CHELSEY DONN: yeah,

[00:29:42] TREY GERRALD: But I think that maybe they left out some specific details about why it was a 50 ticket and they had access to other things and all this like, you know, I think like, is there a VIP?

Like, I don't know. We have questions. So that wasn't as thorough as it could be. And also like, I think there's value in hearing that like the line control needs to really be reevaluated. But I don't know what to do when you have this contract at Griffith Park to do this every year. It's like, people are going to come even if their overall is 2.

4. Like, I don't know. And then also because I had a different experience, but I went years ago, and so maybe it is different every year, and I don't think this would stop me from going, because I am a little bit of a fraidy cat, so maybe hearing that it wasn't that scary, would actually make me feel confident going, so, three and a half, I think it's gonna sit with me, but not probably for the rest of my life, Chelsey, why did you say one half crown away from our total review queen?

[00:30:36] CHELSEY DONN: I know I was a little high. It was between four and four and a half But ultimately there's something about Orsolya that feels very voice of the people to me. I don't know why I think it's just the way that they introduce themselves as kind of being the perfect audience For this experience that immediately makes me trust them in a way that I wouldn't trust just a random reviewer.

I think they do a really good job of setting that up at the top, giving me that enthusiasm without being crazy, you know, and I buy that we had a two stars worth of experience and we gave it two stars, not one star. So that makes me feel like it's not so. bitter right i mean with the overall we're not doing much to move the needle with a two star review so i felt like orsolea did a good job i feel we were a little redundant about the pricing but i thought that the hay allergy was so funny to me And just really tickled me and I think that Ursula is interesting and a part of me wants to be like, I don't know, maybe not the hayride, maybe like going somewhere and having a really nice cup of apple cider, like, I think I'd be down to hang with Ursula and the gals, so for that reason, I went with four and a half crowns for Ursula,

[00:31:54] TREY GERRALD: Very nice, funny review,

[00:31:57] CHELSEY DONN: Thank

[00:31:57] TREY GERRALD: I can't believe you've never been, and I have, that's so funny,

[00:32:00] CHELSEY DONN: you can't believe I've never been.

[00:32:02] TREY GERRALD: well, it's like, you know, or Solia says it's not scary,

[00:32:06] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, well maybe since Arsolia, no,

[00:32:08] TREY GERRALD: maybe you'll get this weekend,

[00:32:10] CHELSEY DONN: doing it, no way, uh uh, sorry, but I will watch Hocus Pocus in my living room with anyone that wants to come over in a onesie.

[00:32:17] TREY GERRALD: there you go,

[00:32:17] CHELSEY DONN: Alright, my queen. We have gotten to the most Halloween regal portion of our show. Trey, who are you inducting for?

[00:32:27] VOICEOVER: My Royal Highness.

[00:32:29] TREY GERRALD: well, very fun, it is maybe spooky to some, I want to share that I just had my very first ever astrology chart Reading

[00:32:39] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, yes. Interesting.

[00:32:40] TREY GERRALD: named Astrology with Andy. You can go to astrology with They're also at astrology with Andy, and I'll share with you, I don't have an exclusive connection or like rich history with astrology.

We did share very early on. I once went to a psychic and it was this horrible, outrageous experience that happened twice. With the same psychic, but I don't think of this as the same thing and Andy has sort of made carved out a niche where they do like career readings of very famous celebrities. I heard this podcast where they were tracking Madonna's career through their birth chart And looking at specific dates and also Andy does like business astrology chart readings and because everything has a beginning date and so you can sort of track everything through their chart so he has done like a reading for the United States of America and like France and so it's interesting so I had this 90 minute reading it was really fascinating Ultimately, I, like, felt really validated in a lot of, like, opinions and thoughts that I have, and also, Andy is not, like, a fatalistic astrologer.

Andy, really, his analogy is that all of this is very much like a weather forecast. We know it's going to start snowing on Wednesday. So you have the free will to choose to wear a coat on Wednesday, or you can wear flip flops. So it's your choice because you have free will. And so it isn't like woo wee woo wee.

It's just sort of like, Oh, these seem to be themes in your life. And like, how are you confronting them and challenging them and meeting them, et cetera, et cetera. So I just really cannot recommend it. More highly to everyone. I would love for everyone to check Andy out. That is astrologywithandy. com and I'm still processing and, and it is on zoom.

So you can meet with Andy wherever you are and you get to record it. And so I'm like. Going back through the recording and looking at specific dates from the past. It's just like really fascinating Totally recommend even if you like don't have a history Like I've never had a history as my first reading and I like really walked away feeling very emotional and empowered Which was like really remarkable.

So astrology with Andy you are my royal highness

[00:34:53] CHELSEY DONN: I feel like very proud of you because I do feel like after your psychic experience, I wasn't sure if you would ever entertain something like that again. So kudos to you.

[00:35:06] TREY GERRALD: Why, thank you.

[00:35:07] CHELSEY DONN: Yes. Love that.

[00:35:09] TREY GERRALD: Well, we did it, Queen. That is another round on the Hayride Ferris Wheel of Hay Bales Galore!

[00:35:21] CHELSEY DONN: Achoo! Thank you for joining us today. If you like what you heard, please tell a friend.

[00:35:26] TREY GERRALD: you did not like what you heard, please, tell an enemy. Now, on today's...

[00:35:31] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, no. Okay.

[00:35:33] TREY GERRALD: After Show

[00:35:35] CHELSEY DONN: Ooh!

[00:35:35] TREY GERRALD: Podcast, Chelsey and I are going to be rating and reviewing a one star trip advisor review for the Trans Allegheny Lunatic Asylum.

[00:35:49] CHELSEY DONN: Oh no! Oh God, it gives me shivers.

[00:35:53] TREY GERRALD: I just can't believe that it's, it was called lunatic, like that, that's like, that

[00:35:57] CHELSEY DONN: That was like acceptable. Yes. That was fine at the time. I wonder what made us say ha ha ha ha ha. Do you think that he's the retired psychiatrist?

[00:36:12] TREY GERRALD: don't know. You think Pekush is a man?

[00:36:15] CHELSEY DONN: Guess not. Do you think that Pete Cooch's husband is a retired psychiatrist? Well, no, I, well, wait, hold on, back up. Why do they have to be a man?

[00:36:25] TREY GERRALD: Because you said he. Do you think he walked

[00:36:27] CHELSEY DONN: I did. Okay.

[00:36:32] TREY GERRALD: Me too, I'm wondering that too, Chelsey, ponderific, lunatic, now remember,

[00:36:42] CHELSEY DONN: Ignore the haters, you're a queen!

[00:36:45] TREY GERRALD: nonspecific, Queen,

[00:36:48] CHELSEY DONN: Gender nonspecific, hay barrel, October Queen.

[00:36:52] TREY GERRALD: these only cost ten bucks when I was a kid,

[00:36:56] CHELSEY DONN: When I was a kid, I could go to the movies for a nickel.

[00:37:02] TREY GERRALD: the level of suckage was terrible, bye!

[00:37:10] VOICEOVER: Sign up directly on Apple Podcast to hear our weekly members only after show. Unlock additional benefits when you become a Patreon slash patreon. Follow us on all the socials at the review queens and join our mailing Our kvetch line is open 24 7 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.

You never visit, you never write. Give us a call now.

[00:37:35] CHELSEY DONN: H A L L O W E N spells Halloween.

[00:37:43] TREY GERRALD: Did you just make that

[00:37:43] CHELSEY DONN: don't know that? No! You don't know that song?

[00:37:48] TREY GERRALD: No. Who sings it? Madonna?

[00:37:50] CHELSEY DONN: I don't know, I feel it, well it was a song that we learned in school, but

[00:37:53] TREY GERRALD: Duh!

[00:37:53] CHELSEY DONN: I think it was like, in one of those Mary Kate and Ashley, like, do, Halloween,

[00:38:02] TREY GERRALD: Oh, like double, double toil and

[00:38:04] CHELSEY DONN: double, double toil and trouble, like, in the background, just like, H, A, Double L O W W N, Spells Mary Kate and Ashley do Halloween,

[00:38:15] TREY GERRALD: the Olsen twins, they really, they really are the queens.

[00:38:18] CHELSEY DONN: Really, truly, I mean, they're doing it right. They never have to work a day again in their lives.

[00:38:23] TREY GERRALD: Nope, but we'll see you all on Friday.

[00:38:25] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, with that in mind, see you Friday, Bye!

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.