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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 130: "Braun Electric Razor"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 130: "Braun Electric Razor"


*Please pardon any and all spelling errors!

[00:00:00] THEME SONG: Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] CHELSEY DONN: Hello,

[00:00:31] TREY GERRALD: Hi, and welcome to Review That Review. We are the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing That's Chelsey Donn,

[00:00:45] CHELSEY DONN: that's Trey Gerald,

[00:00:47] TREY GERRALD: together we are

[00:00:49] VOICEOVER: Review Queens,

[00:00:52] CHELSEY DONN: that's right,

[00:00:53] TREY GERRALD: But first, Chelsey, as we're in this last week of November, is there anything that you would like to

[00:01:01] VOICEOVER: Ledge a Complaint,

[00:01:02] CHELSEY DONN: there is actually, yes, Trey, thank you for giving me the floor, thank you for giving me this moment, so as we've gotten older, we all know that time starts to move faster, and I think there's many things that are responsible for this. One, of course, age, your proximity to the year, right, gets kind of further and further apart.

But really, I think a huge part of this problem are these, let's call them Thank Retail holiday pushers. Okay? Now, whenever a holiday hasn't even started yet, we're already on to the next holiday.

[00:01:51] TREY GERRALD: Thank you

[00:01:51] CHELSEY DONN: There's never a moment where we can just revel in where we're at. You're not allowed to be in Thanksgiving, you have to already be at Christmas, you can't be at Christmas, you have to already be at New Year's, you can't be at New Year's, you gotta already be at Valentine's Day, and then Easter, and then, it's just, it never stops, and I think it's partially responsible for this feeling of time is just moving by so fast, because even when you're not in that future place, You are, you know, it's like by the time Halloween happens, Do you not feel like it's been Halloween for months?

By the time Thanksgiving, same thing. It's like, I feel like by the time it comes, it's so anticlimactic.

[00:02:35] TREY GERRALD: No, I mean, I was literally just at Target, and they already have New Year's stuff

[00:02:39] CHELSEY DONN: I know, it's unbelievable. It's just, we can't, we can never just be where we're at. And I get it from a consumer standpoint. You know, I understand like, You have to be ahead of it, but it just feels like aggressive. And then, you know, I go to like CVS regularly to get prescriptions, that seasonal aisle,

[00:02:57] TREY GERRALD: Oh my god. Oh my god.

[00:03:00] CHELSEY DONN: I just can't, like, I'm like, where am I?

What time is it? What year is it? What's going on? And also like in the summer when they like, they stay, you know, immediately start with the back to school before like even July 4th, I'm just, stop it.

[00:03:13] TREY GERRALD: I mean, this retail holiday pushers, that's such an interesting phrase, because I think you're so on to something about, like, there is that joke, like, oh, it's already, this is out, but it really is a thing.

[00:03:27] CHELSEY DONN: yeah, it's pushing, it's

[00:03:28] TREY GERRALD: And it is retai it is like corporate retails pushing us outside of being present. Now what, okay, so if that is one scenario, what do you think of the people that don't shop for stuff until after that holiday has passed so that they get the clearance?

[00:03:44] CHELSEY DONN: queenly, honestly,

[00:03:46] TREY GERRALD: that's pretty queenly, but they're living in the, they're living in the far future.

[00:03:51] CHELSEY DONN: I think it's the only way, truly, to beat them at their own game, that's the other thing that's so crazy about it, is like, it's a seasonal item, it's hot, it's a hot ticket item, you gotta buy it, top dollar, whatever, and then the day after the holiday, it's like, clearance, 50 percent off, because they wanna get the next.

Stuff in there.

[00:04:11] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, I don't, I could never be the person to buy it after. I don't have that, like, I don't have that wherewithal.

[00:04:17] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, I think it depends on what it is. Like if it's like, oh, it's a candy thing and I was gonna buy the candy anyway, but am I fine with having the like Christmas trees and February as long as they're not expired? Probably fine with that for like 75 percent off.

[00:04:32] TREY GERRALD: It's a really interesting complaint. It really is, like, it's an epidemic. It

[00:04:36] CHELSEY DONN: It just really robs you of that present moment of being able to live in wherever we're at.

[00:04:43] TREY GERRALD: And I think, like, if CVS is doing it, and I'm Rite Aid, well then I gotta start doing it, because if CVS is gonna be making those sales that potentially we could be making in a month, I wanna be making them now too, like, I feel like everyone, I wonder who started, who was responsible for this?

[00:04:57] CHELSEY DONN: Hallmark? I don't know.

[00:04:58] TREY GERRALD: Oh my god, Hallmark, poor Hallmark, they probably don't even exist

[00:05:02] CHELSEY DONN: I know, right? I know. They really took the fall, but the Hallmark

[00:05:06] TREY GERRALD: complaint, great

complaint, Chelsey, I really do hear it, I suffer from it as well.

[00:05:11] CHELSEY DONN: Right? Let's live in the moment, you guys. It's not Christmas yet, okay? Let's not jump into the new year just yet. Give me a second to catch my breath.

[00:05:20] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, let's take a breath. Well, do you want to jump into an online review and stay present while we do

[00:05:26] CHELSEY DONN: Please, I would love that.

[00:05:27] TREY GERRALD: Let's do it.

[00:05:30] VOICEOVER: Review That Review,

[00:05:34] CHELSEY DONN: As you know, we are your trusty Review Queens. We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

[00:05:41] TREY GERRALD: We read you the review, we break it down and rate the impact of that review on a scale from zero to five crowns. This is a very regal process that we call

[00:05:51] VOICEOVER: Assess That Kvetch, It's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious,

[00:05:53] CHELSEY DONN: That's right, and Trey, it is your turn this week. What have you brought in for us?

[00:05:58] TREY GERRALD: Okay, I'm excited about this because it's a little off the wall, but this is a product that since selecting, I have made a different choice, but Today, we're gonna do a five star Amazon review for a product that I have been eyeballing. Chelsey, literally, I have been looking at this product probably, honestly, probably two years plus.

And I just can't bring myself to, like, purchase it because the price point is so high. So today, Chelsey, I'm gonna need you to help me with this. We are going to rate and review this five star Amazon review for Braun Electric Razor for Men, Series 9 Pro, 9465 CC, Wet and Dry Electric Foil Shaver with Pro Lift Beard Trimmer, Cleaning and Charging Smart Care Center, Noble Metal. So what do you get out of that? What is this?

[00:07:03] CHELSEY DONN: So it's a, it's an electric face shaver. And then what is the price?

[00:07:09] TREY GERRALD: Okay, so this one, so the 9465CC is like the specific version. So this one is 294. 94. That's at an 11 percent discount.

[00:07:23] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:07:24] TREY GERRALD: Because it's supposed to be $329 and 99 cents, and I screenshotted this back on Prime Day in October, hoping it would go down on Prime Day, and that was the prime day discount was 11%.

Go fuck yourself.

[00:07:36] CHELSEY DONN: So the normal price for this is 329.

[00:07:40] TREY GERRALD: Yes, but that's the cheaper version that I hearted because you can also get it with this like portable charging device and that price point. That's the 9 4 7 7 cc, and that's $349 and 99 cents.

[00:07:57] CHELSEY DONN: Wow. Okay.

[00:07:58] TREY GERRALD: So part of the reason why it is so exorbitant in price is because this specific Braun razor shaver has a little dish that it sits in upside down that charges it, but it also cleans it out after use with water and then re lubricates the blades to make it last longer.

[00:08:18] CHELSEY DONN: Wow. So it's like, it's like a it's like a robo vacuum that like empties itself or whatever.

[00:08:23] TREY GERRALD: That's exactly right. So it is like a little

[00:08:26] CHELSEY DONN: So it's very fancy.

[00:08:28] TREY GERRALD: It's about it's a fancy product.

[00:08:29] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. All

[00:08:30] TREY GERRALD: And I have just been yearning for this for such a long time, but I can't bring myself to do it. So anyway, so today I'm going to share with you Star. The reviewers name is Star.

[00:08:40] CHELSEY DONN: Wow. Okay, star.

[00:08:41] TREY GERRALD: This is the actual top review on Amazon.

This is the first one that you will see. It is a 5 star verified purchase and this style just for note is 9 S, so it is actually a different version, but here we go. Stars, Subjectives. This is my first opinion! Of this product, dash and from what I see, dash. Wow. Unreal. How great it is. And just for, you know, a point of clarification, I is not capitalized.

That bothers me.

[00:09:20] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:09:20] TREY GERRALD: So here we go. I bought three electric G razors in my life, all NCOs. 20 years. After the third time I tried an electric crazier. I declared they would never, ever get better. When I had the Norelco electric razors, the following was my experience. My Shave Prep, 1. I have, have always owned something like Baby Bliss Pro Gold FX.

I used this to trim my whiskers down, as close as I could get them, 2. I did a quick wash and dry Parentheses face, three. After drying, 15 minutes or so, I would use the Norelco. It was torture! It didn't cut the whiskers. It tried to tear them from my face. I then spent 15 plus minutes trying to get it to shave my face.

I hated it. I said I bought three of them. And I did. I would buy one, hate it worse than anything, Quit using it over a number of years, Always thinking they would get better, Dash, they never got better, I swore to everyone, It's pure torture, And you will never get a good shave unless you torture, Period.

Yourself, for 40 minutes, trying to get a clean shave. Worst experience ever! I swore then and there, as I tossed my very expensive raiders in the trash, That I would never buy another electric razor. Not ever. Okay, so, I am on the road for work a lot. I was showing up with whiskers. I was back to using my usual Baby Bliss Pro Barbarology Gold Fix, which I love, If you don't have one, get one, it's the best!,

in parentheses. While my Gold FX really took the whiskers down, it wasn't giving me the clean cut my clients expect. Long story short, I was convinced to try the brawn. Thank I rolled my eyes and said, It will tear the hair out of my face, Per gash exclamation money act, me off, I would return it and never ever order another electric razor, I knew what was going to happen, pain, torture, 15 minutes of trying to get it to cut the whiskers,

[00:12:28] CHELSEY DONN: god.

[00:12:29] TREY GERRALD: again, three, top of the line.

Yes, twenty plus years ago, electric razors, and all I got was torture and a worthless shave, All three over a ten year span, all top of the line, Simply ripped the whiskers from my face, Nothing that painful in the shave world, It would teak thirty plus minutes of constantly trying to get a clean shave.

Okay! Blah, blah, you get the idea. So I got this Braun 9. It was dead, so I charged it. I used my gold FX to cut Whiskers short, Washed my face in the morning before leaving the house, Grabbed my charged brawn, Was 100 percent ready for the pain, I knew I had to endure it, Because I am on the road, Meeting customers and need a clean shave,

[00:13:32] CHELSEY DONN: God.

[00:13:33] TREY GERRALD: I stopped outside the client's office, Took out the brawn, took a bunch of deep breaths, saying, I can do this, it's only 20 minutes of hell.

When the brawn touched my face, heard the sound of hair getting cut, but felt ZERO! I thought, what in the world? Is this even working? I stopped and touched my face, it was baby butt smooth. What is the hell? thought. Is this a trick? I shaved my face in 40 seconds. It was baby butt smooth. Zero pain. I think I went into some sort of dream after that.

This is by far the biggest shock surprise I have had in a long time. I could not believe it was real. This is a 5 plus star product. I gave three stars on everything, only because I have not had it long enough to know if it's good in those areas or not. But, I will say, Home Run! I never believed this could possibly happen.

I was convinced, you just don't use electric. Brawn! Wow! Home Run! This is beyond my wildest imagination. I never thought anything like this was possible. I could not even tell this was on my face. Five star. I will up the other stars once I have had it a while. Great work!

[00:15:28] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my God. Star.

[00:15:30] TREY GERRALD: What in the hell was that?

[00:15:34] CHELSEY DONN: my God. So many questions. What was that? Okay.

[00:15:38] TREY GERRALD: This is the top review on Amazon, by the way. This is the review that shows up first.

[00:15:42] CHELSEY DONN: I know, I mean, this is what happens with these kind of FACACTA reviews, okay, so,

[00:15:49] TREY GERRALD: Walk me through.

[00:15:50] CHELSEY DONN: this is like a four review in one, I wrote down a few times in my notebook, when are we going to get to the actual review?

[00:15:57] TREY GERRALD: Thank you!

[00:15:58] CHELSEY DONN: Because what the hell were we talking about?

That's not, that's my number one question,

[00:16:02] TREY GERRALD: And repeating the same story nine

[00:16:04] CHELSEY DONN: repeating, yeah, so then the second thing is the repetition, which is just at every phase, it's, it's extremely repetitive,

[00:16:13] TREY GERRALD: Yes!

[00:16:14] CHELSEY DONN: to the point of, like, Becoming very confusing at times because I'm like, what are we talking about now? Like at one point, did we get another brawn at one point that was bad?

Cause I thought we, we brought up brawn in like a negative sense. And then we moved on to the positive review. So I'm like

[00:16:32] TREY GERRALD: you're right.

[00:16:33] CHELSEY DONN: about that. And then also remind me just because like there was so much happening and I was writing so much about like what's going on and the spelling, whatever, but what does this person do for a living?

[00:16:46] TREY GERRALD: I don't know, but they're on the road.

[00:16:50] CHELSEY DONN: They're on the road, they have customers and these customers expect them to be very, very clean shaven.

[00:17:01] TREY GERRALD: Yes.

[00:17:02] CHELSEY DONN: Interesting. I like want to know what it is that they do. We could, we

[00:17:05] TREY GERRALD: I wonder if they're a traveling salesman or

[00:17:07] CHELSEY DONN: They sound like a traveling salesman. I wonder what they're selling.

[00:17:11] TREY GERRALD: And then also just, I do want to clarify here. It does list itself as a five star, so they did change it at some point, but they never went back to write, I've had it, and now it's a five star.

[00:17:22] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, so I was gonna ask you about that. So, like, they said the three star, the five star, whatever. So, like, I thought that they gave it five stars because, but Amazon doesn't do this. You know how, like, on TripAdvisor, you can give five stars, but then afterwards you do, like, a breakdown?

[00:17:37] TREY GERRALD: Mm

[00:17:38] CHELSEY DONN: I thought that that was what they were saying.

Like I'm giving it five stars, but I still mean to give it like three stars across the board on all the categories because like, I don't really know like the longevity of the product. Like, is it going to last a long time? Is it going to be like this clean shaven experience for the first couple of weeks?

And then it's going to be just like the, all the others. Like I, I couldn't really tell what they were saying with

[00:18:02] TREY GERRALD: I think Star is just doing that on their own, but they just never, because they're saying it's a five plus star product, I just haven't had it, so it's three.

[00:18:09] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, exactly. So it's like I don't that that makes me just wonder like did they give this a five star from the start? I

[00:18:15] TREY GERRALD: Oh, maybe you are right,

[00:18:17] CHELSEY DONN: you know what I mean?

[00:18:18] TREY GERRALD: sentence is five star. I will up the other stars once I have had it a while. Wait,

[00:18:25] CHELSEY DONN: right.

[00:18:25] TREY GERRALD: did, was it originally five? Or was it originally three? And they did change it to five, but they never changed the narrative.

[00:18:32] CHELSEY DONN: I don't know. Like I, it's weird. I just feel like they're going to come on at some point and add an addendum to the review and be like five stars, like five stars in, in longevity, five stars. Like, you know, are they planning to come back?

[00:18:47] TREY GERRALD: Cause that's very Yelp.

[00:18:49] CHELSEY DONN: exactly.

[00:18:50] TREY GERRALD: I, I don't know. I don't know.

[00:18:52] CHELSEY DONN: And then also, okay, so I wanted to ask you, because obviously you were looking to buy this product, so I assume you've used other Shades, like electric razors before, is it common for them to be like super painful like this?

[00:19:06] TREY GERRALD: I don't know. I mean, ironically, the one I have is a Philips Norelco. And that was the three different versions that Star had in the past. And I also would imagine that, you know, the shaving has changed a little bit in 20 years, but there is a distinction in electric shavers. There are circular ones that pick up hair and cut, and then there are also straight

[00:19:30] CHELSEY DONN: straight yes, that are more like a razor.

[00:19:32] TREY GERRALD: it really, in all of the studying I have done, the varying version you choose is very, like, individual on how, like, your hair pattern is on your face, but I don't think it's pleasurable, but it doesn't, I mean, I guess if your hair is too long, which is why Star goes into so much story

[00:19:52] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, that's like so weird too, like, so they used another razor first, and then they were using this as their like car touch up right before?

[00:20:02] TREY GERRALD: well, that's what's confusing to me because, yes, if you try to electric shave really long hair, it's gonna pull it. Like that does feel like it's tearing. Cause I've even done that too, Chelsey, where like the hair is just too long to run it straight through. And sometimes I'll do that with a straight razor too.

Like if I'm going to

[00:20:20] CHELSEY DONN: So you'll like do a straight razor first or something like that, and

[00:20:24] TREY GERRALD: well, I wouldn't do a straight razor first, but even if I am straight razoring, I will use an electric trimmer, like if my facial hair is too thick

[00:20:31] CHELSEY DONN: so you'll trim it and then you'll yeah,

[00:20:33] TREY GERRALD: right.

[00:20:34] CHELSEY DONN: so is that what they're saying they did like that They like trimmed it or whatever with that first trimmer, and then they

[00:20:40] TREY GERRALD: That's the whole conversation about the whiskers over

[00:20:42] CHELSEY DONN: okay, okay? Yeah, I know a lot of whisker comments. I just think this review is so interesting especially as like you said a first review for a product because so much of the real estate is is spent talking about these other products and I get it like to a degree, right?

Because the person purchasing this, even you, who's like deciding whether or not to purchase this, might be thinking like, do I want to invest the money? Although I don't know, are those other ones much cheaper? I don't know. There's a wide range but like maybe you're thinking I don't want to spend the money or whatever so maybe you do need to hear these comparisons be like look I went down all these different roads and nothing worked but I still think that the proportion is really off here for

[00:21:33] TREY GERRALD: I agree. Yeah, I could have definitely used an etta and a

[00:21:35] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, just it could have used a real trim, okay? Like this was just too much information at the top about these other products for not good enough of a payoff of the baby's bottom, the baby's. Bottom, the baby's butt, or whatever they kept

[00:21:54] TREY GERRALD: Baby's butt, yeah.

[00:21:56] CHELSEY DONN: over and over again at the end of this review. I mean, like, I was happy that we finally got there.

We really had to sludge through though.

[00:22:04] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, and this whole spelling grammar,

[00:22:06] CHELSEY DONN: Oh God, a lot of spelling errors.

[00:22:08] TREY GERRALD: and every time it's, every time that star writes the word I, It is always lowercase, even when it's like an all caps rant, which really

[00:22:17] CHELSEY DONN: I was going to ask you about that. So then, like, there were these random caps lock moments in the middle of it. Do you feel like there was, that was like intentional?

[00:22:26] TREY GERRALD: I don't, I, you know,

[00:22:29] CHELSEY DONN: I was like, did they hit the caps lock key and then be like, F it? Like,

[00:22:32] TREY GERRALD: I think that might have happened. I think they might have accidentally had the caps locks on after like, you know, I would never buy an electric razor again. Okay, so I'm on the road to work for a lot. I'm on the road for work a lot. Like that feels like that's not supposed to be in

[00:22:46] CHELSEY DONN: Right. Like maybe they wanted to do that, like one phrase in caps and they just like left it on and they

[00:22:51] TREY GERRALD: but then they drop their other product, Baby Bliss Pro Barbarology Gold FX, like that's not in caps. So I,

[00:22:59] CHELSEY DONN: Maybe they like pasted in the name. I don't know.

[00:23:02] TREY GERRALD: Oh, right. And then they also randomly typo say Raiders instead of Razors.

[00:23:08] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. No, there were definitely lots of weird.

[00:23:11] TREY GERRALD: Also, if you have to say, okay, blah, blah, you get the idea, then you need to cut. Like,

[00:23:17] CHELSEY DONN: Right. You're already blah blahing.

[00:23:20] TREY GERRALD: you're blah blah ing yourself.

[00:23:22] CHELSEY DONN: We don't need that. The home run section?

[00:23:26] TREY GERRALD: Oh yeah, do you think they like, they must be a

[00:23:27] CHELSEY DONN: I guess they're a baseball fan.

[00:23:30] TREY GERRALD: Also, it's really, I guess, like their pain tolerance is really low, because yes, having your hair torn out of your face is painful, but it's like, to have this much agita about like, okay, deep breaths, I can do this, it's only 20 minutes of

[00:23:45] CHELSEY DONN: Right. Yeah. Like, you have to give yourself a tap. That's why I was asking you, like, is it this big of a deal

[00:23:52] TREY GERRALD: It should not be. It really should not be. So which I think that actually adds to the value here. Like, if you've had this extreme of a negative experience of shaving your face with an electric shaver, and this is literally like, I didn't even know it was on my face.

[00:24:06] CHELSEY DONN: Right.

[00:24:07] TREY GERRALD: That is pretty high praise. Do you think that they're being truthful here?

Right, did they used

[00:24:11] CHELSEY DONN: I don't know. I think it's weird. It's like bordering into that shady land of why are we like calling out so many different products by name and then sort of like, right, like, exactly. Like, is there some sort of vendetta? Were you a traveling salesperson for Morocco? And then you were like, I'm going to take them down

[00:24:31] TREY GERRALD: Wait, well, if you were, then you would have to be clean shaven.

[00:24:35] CHELSEY DONN: Right, we've got it. We've cracked the

[00:24:37] TREY GERRALD: We figured it out.

Star works for

[00:24:40] CHELSEY DONN: Starworks for, yeah, That's what it almost feels like. It's just, it's so weird to, again, spend so much real estate on that. I don't know. I just can't really get over that.

[00:24:50] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, I think it's a major flaw here, to be

[00:24:52] CHELSEY DONN: and is it funny or Entertaining? There's

[00:24:55] TREY GERRALD: think that Star, I don't think Star was intending to be funny, ever.

[00:24:59] CHELSEY DONN: Right, I agree. I don't think Star was, mm

[00:25:02] TREY GERRALD: Well, what, do you?

[00:25:03] CHELSEY DONN: be entertaining.

I think maybe Star was. I think Star is the kind of person that tells, like, really long, repetitive stories all the time that they think are really interesting and entertaining, but they're not.

[00:25:18] TREY GERRALD: for sure.

[00:25:18] CHELSEY DONN: But then, like, in a way, it becomes entertaining because it's just, like, so absurd.

[00:25:24] TREY GERRALD: It's such a snapshot of this person's neuroses.

[00:25:27] CHELSEY DONN: Right. Yeah.

[00:25:29] TREY GERRALD: I don't know about common, typical fluke. It seems like Star has a real specific history with electric shavers.

[00:25:35] CHELSEY DONN: Definitely. I think that Starr has an experience that not everybody that's buying this product will have, but I imagine because you're a review queen and you've been circling this product for a long time that the overall rating on this is probably pretty high.

[00:25:50] TREY GERRALD: Well, I think the impact really does come from the very specific, nuanced opinion about electric shavers and how this really has swayed them. Like, I think I'll have to consider that, you

[00:26:02] CHELSEY DONN: Right. Yeah, so I do think there's an impact there. Anything else that we need to consider before we go into the crowning?

[00:26:09] TREY GERRALD: I don't think so.

[00:26:10] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. Okay. Long time. All right, let's.

[00:26:15] TREY GERRALD: Home run! Wow! Alright, so, Chelsey and I each have our own set of 0 5 crown cards, and in an effort to be fair and not influence each other, we will simultaneously reveal our ratings.

[00:26:30] VOICEOVER: The Queens are tabulating.

Total Score,

[00:26:38] CHELSEY DONN: okay, the queens are unanimous, three and a half crowns, three and a half crowns. I think that we're not hurting the product here necessarily, it's a five star review, it's a little bit ridiculous, so that was why I gave it three and a half crowns, I just, I wonder what star Is like at a party, at a business meeting, you know, at a, at a holiday event.

What, what, what are they, what are they serving up here? I think that obviously we've talked about it ad nauseum, so I don't need to get into the nitty gritty of it all, but I think it's a three and a half crown review overall, a little bit above middle of the road for the chuckles. How about you try?

[00:27:17] TREY GERRALD: I mean, it's just so bizarre. I had to bring it in because like what? But, but it is interesting because it does, it is sort of persuasive if you consider the fear this user has of, of shavers. So, That actually gets a lot of crowns for me, but the spelling is atrocious, the grammar is terrible, it needs so much editing, It's like, meandering, which is terrible, and it's no fault to Star, that this is the like, Highlighted review that you see, like it's just so bizarre, Also the whole ending narrative of like, it's three stars, but it's five plus, so five stars, I'll update when it's I've had it, like, it's very perplexing, so I didn't feel like I could give it much higher than three and a half,

[00:27:58] CHELSEY DONN: makes sense.

[00:27:58] TREY GERRALD: and I still have not purchased just because the price point is so high, God, it's high.

[00:28:03] CHELSEY DONN: I know I get that. I hope that they actually mark it down for like a prime day or whatever.

[00:28:08] TREY GERRALD: If any listener works for Braun, hey.

[00:28:12] CHELSEY DONN: us know.

[00:28:14] TREY GERRALD: All right, Queen, we have reached the most regal portion of today's show. Who are you inducting today for?

[00:28:21] VOICEOVER: My Royal Highness,

[00:28:22] CHELSEY DONN: Thank you for asking, Trey. So, this is sort of funny to me that I've never inducted this item before, considering I wear them every single time we're recording, and regularly throughout my life. Clearly, what I'm going to be nominating today is blue light glasses,

[00:28:40] TREY GERRALD: Oh

[00:28:42] CHELSEY DONN: I don't know how I survived before blue light glasses, like, I got really bad headaches, I definitely get eye fatigue when I'm looking at a screen, and I just can't imagine doing so many of the things I do on my computer without my blue light glasses.

I think that They're a great invention. I really don't know who to attribute the blue light glasses to. I didn't look up the inventor. But I just want to give my Royal Highness to all the blue light glasses out there for keeping my eyes in better shape. While I'm looking at all these screens all day long, I also have one of those blue light screens.

Specifically on my phone, gotta get the blue light out of there cause it's no good. So thank you blue light glasses for all of the value you've added to my life. It is highly overdue that I induct you as my Royal Highness.

[00:29:34] TREY GERRALD: that's so funny to me because I also still am a person that doesn't know, is blue light filtering, like, is that real? But I guess your experience is that it totally is

[00:29:44] CHELSEY DONN: And it, I believe it is. When I use them, my eye strain is so much better than when I don't.

[00:29:49] TREY GERRALD: because even when I got my new glasses at Warby Parker, like that's now a feature, is like to add the blue light coding, so

[00:29:57] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, I mean like when you go to the optometrist now, they like talk about it, they're like you should be wearing blue light glasses, blue light's really bad for your eyes.

[00:30:05] TREY GERRALD: because I, I acknowledge your induction, but, but the blue light thing just really came out of nowhere to me, it's very similar in my experience of melatonin,

[00:30:15] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, all of a sudden, everyone was talking about

[00:30:17] TREY GERRALD: Yes, we suddenly woke up and everyone was like, melatonin is safe for you to go to sleep, blue light is really painful for you and you don't even know that it's happening, here, buy the product, like, I'm not

[00:30:29] CHELSEY DONN: maybe those two things go hand in hand, because looking at screens all day keeps you awake,

[00:30:34] TREY GERRALD: that's true, I love that induction, thank you for bringing that to our awareness, collectively. we did a queen, that is another round, on the R U A R Q, ferris wheel of smooth baby butts.

[00:30:48] CHELSEY DONN: that's right, thank you for joining us today, if you like what you heard, please tell a friend,

[00:30:53] TREY GERRALD: If you did not like what you heard, tell an enemy. Get ready to be angry. No, we're not getting angry. We're going to have a really fun after show this week because Chelsey, I'm going to introduce you to something. I don't, maybe you've seen them in the world. I'm not sure. We'll find out, but I'm going to introduce you to this company called December Diamonds.

[00:31:13] CHELSEY DONN: Ooh,

[00:31:14] TREY GERRALD: It's not what you're thinking, okay?

[00:31:16] CHELSEY DONN: okay, is that

[00:31:16] TREY GERRALD: Cause we,

[00:31:18] CHELSEY DONN: Okay,

[00:31:19] TREY GERRALD: we are going to be rating and reviewing a 5 star Amazon review for December Diamonds Drake Male Fairy Christmas Tree Ornament 555 5096 New.

[00:31:36] VOICEOVER: supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

[00:31:41] TREY GERRALD: But I gotta tell you, Chelsey, before you ask any questions, have you ever in your life seen Christmas tree ornaments? Sometimes they're like tchotchke, like figurines that sit around, but they're like ripped, very sexy, pretty clearly gay, male, mermaid, fairy, like ornamenty things. Have you ever? Is any of this making any sense to you?

[00:32:05] CHELSEY DONN: no, I mean I can imagine it, I feel like I've used to decorate a Christmas tree with a friend growing up, so I can imagine in my mind what you're describing, but no, I've never seen it,

[00:32:15] TREY GERRALD: well, we're going to go to DecemberDiamonds. com together on the aftershow, and we're going to look through this, um, and I encourage you all to do the same,

[00:32:24] CHELSEY DONN: okay, well, I can't imagine why this was said, Oh, hello. Guys, this is like not your average trinket. This is, these

[00:32:36] TREY GERRALD: homoerotic,

[00:32:37] CHELSEY DONN: very, I mean, I'm, I'm, uh, what's aroused.

[00:32:41] TREY GERRALD: like the one in the middle.

[00:32:43] CHELSEY DONN: I do kind of like the one in the middle.

[00:32:44] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, he's sexy. Well, he has a little bathrobe on that's open. You

[00:32:48] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, I wish he was a little bit taller. Wish he

[00:32:51] TREY GERRALD: He does look short, doesn't

[00:32:52] CHELSEY DONN: He looks a little short.

[00:32:56] TREY GERRALD: I really can't

[00:32:57] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, I can't imagine it.

[00:32:58] TREY GERRALD: Now, please remember,

[00:33:01] CHELSEY DONN: Ignore the haters, you're a queen!

[00:33:03] TREY GERRALD: gender non specific queen.

[00:33:05] CHELSEY DONN: That's right.

[00:33:06] TREY GERRALD: Toodaloo!

[00:33:09] VOICEOVER: Sign up directly on Apple Podcast to hear our weekly members only after show unlock additional benefits when you become a Patreon slash patreon. Follow us on all the socials at the review queens and join our mailing Arc vetch line is open 24 7 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.

Don't be a ogana. Call the kvetch line today.

[00:33:35] CHELSEY DONN: Hold


[00:33:40] TREY GERRALD: Check your text. I just sent you, Drake.

[00:33:42] CHELSEY DONN: okay, I'm gonna check it now. Oh my God!

[00:33:46] TREY GERRALD: you ever seen these?

[00:33:48] CHELSEY DONN: I have not ever seen these. This guy is rip. Hi!

[00:33:51] TREY GERRALD: Like, repped.

[00:33:55] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. I never thought I could be attracted to a male fairy. Actually, that's not true. I've been attracted to many male fairies. Who am I

[00:34:04] TREY GERRALD: Me too, girl.

[00:34:07] CHELSEY DONN: Love it. See you in the after show on Friday.

[00:34:10] TREY GERRALD: Which is also December 1st. December Diamond! See

you then!

[00:34:16] CHELSEY DONN: Genius. Bye.

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.


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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 159: "Barking - 1 Star Review"

Review That Review with Chelsey & Trey Episode 159: "Barking - 1 Star Review" Transcription *Please pardon any and all spelling errors! [00:00:00] CHELSEY DONN: Goldie? Goldie! No barking, quiet, or y


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