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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 145: "Union Square McDonald’s - 3 Star Review"



Review That Review with Chelsey & Trey
Episode 145: "Union Square McDonald’s - 3 Star Review"

Transcription


*Please pardon any and all spelling errors!


[00:00:00] CHELSEY DONN: It's a song.

[00:00:01] TREY GERRALD: It's a song.

[00:00:02] CHELSEY DONN: It's a song.

[00:00:03] TREY GERRALD: It's a song.

[00:00:04] CHELSEY DONN: It's a song. And it's talking about,

[00:00:07] TREY GERRALD: This is like an Ozzy Osbourne anthem.

[00:00:09] CHELSEY DONN: yes, exactly. And the way I say it.



[00:00:13] THEME SONG: Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!


[00:00:41] CHELSEY DONN: Hello,

[00:00:43] TREY GERRALD: Well, hello, and everyone, please make welcome to Review That Review, the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing.

[00:00:55] CHELSEY DONN: Reviews!

[00:00:57] TREY GERRALD: That's Chelsey 

[00:00:58] CHELSEY DONN: That's Trey Gerald.

[00:01:00] TREY GERRALD: but you can just call us.

[00:01:02] VOICEOVER: The review Queens.

[00:01:05] CHELSEY DONN: And this week, we have a very special show for you because this isn't just an ordinary week, Trey.

[00:01:13] This is Trey's Birthday Week! Cue the music! We're gonna 

[00:01:19] VOICEOVER: I just got the grish shake. Ooh, that sounds delicious. 

[00:01:23] TREY GERRALD: Woo.

[00:01:23] VOICEOVER: you want the grish shake? Yes. It's so nutritious. If I drink it with a bee, A big mistake. Why would you ever. Think that they say it could put your life at stake and once you drink it, you can't go back. Happy birthday. What is on your grandma Wish

[00:01:42] TREY GERRALD: Oh, 

[00:01:43] VOICEOVER: giving everything we're looking for? Happy Birthday Grammys. Grammy. Let me just say you're my favorite. Purple guy, you're the friend that I wish I could multiply, Who cares about Ronald and the other

[00:01:56] guys, You make me so happy that I could just die, You're the type To leave no child behind, Anyone, you're just one to ninety nine, Happy birthday, Grimace, your shit gets so delicious, Please, I gotta look because the baby's getting vicious, Ha!

[00:02:08] Happy birthday, Grimace, 

[00:02:09] CHELSEY DONN: retirement. Congratulations 

[00:02:11] VOICEOVER: What is on your Amazon wish list?, 

[00:02:14] CHELSEY DONN: You may 

[00:02:15] VOICEOVER: Giving me everything and more, And you're the new friend we're looking for, Happy birthday, Grimace, you're the new friend we're looking for,

[00:02:22] CHELSEY DONN: to zitz, very 

[00:02:24] VOICEOVER: Happy Birthday, Grimace, 

[00:02:25] CHELSEY DONN: Bye. And then it gets real scary at the end. really sure why. Woo! Happy

[00:02:34] birthday, Grimace! Happy birthday, Trey! 

[00:02:37] TREY GERRALD: Well, thank you! Grimace is the purple guy from McDonald's, right?

[00:02:41] CHELSEY DONN: god, yeah, Grimace is like the best McDonald's character, in my opinion, I just love.

[00:02:46] TREY GERRALD: about a pear shape.

[00:02:48] CHELSEY DONN: Talk about a luscious, delicious pear shape, sign me up.

[00:02:52] TREY GERRALD: So, what was that jingle? Is that from

[00:02:54] CHELSEY DONN: don't know, I think it became like viral, somebody just wrote it, I know this is supposedly the original, I vaguely remember hearing it, and you know, last year I was a little late, and this year I just thought I needed to change it up, and I think it's a new tradition that we have to find really fun and interesting birthday songs, so this is the one I decided was fit for you Queen, because I know how much you love fast food,

[00:03:17] TREY GERRALD: You're so sweet, thank you, yes. And, my birthday is tomorrow, so, you're early, diva!

[00:03:23] CHELSEY DONN: she learned her lesson,

[00:03:25] TREY GERRALD: making it right in 2020

[00:03:27] CHELSEY DONN: She's right on time. She's early. And with that in mind, Trey, for your first birthday gift,

[00:03:34] TREY GERRALD: Ooh!

[00:03:34] CHELSEY DONN: Would you like to?

[00:03:36] VOICEOVER: Ledge a complaint,

[00:03:38] TREY GERRALD: Why, yes, I would, Chelsey. Okay, so, this actually just happened yesterday. I came home from a long day of work, and I was talking with my husband, I was in my, like, undershirt, and I'm, like, going through, like, explaining something, and he's like, Is your neck green? And I was like, What? And he's like, Oh, I think your necklace is turning your neck green.

[00:04:00] CHELSEY DONN: my god.

[00:04:01] TREY GERRALD: Now, I am so mad, because I bought this! Little chain necklace on Amazon. It said it was 24 karat gold and they must have lied to me because it surely has been turning my neck green and that doesn't that only 

[00:04:12] CHELSEY DONN: When it's like fake yeah. Mm 

[00:04:13] TREY GERRALD: So maybe it was a 24 karat gold coating like which is probably nothing like that's like how people are like natural flavors Which like actually has no definition like a 24 karat gold coating probably has no meaning

[00:04:26] CHELSEY DONN: a 24 karat coating is probably a natural flavor. Right,

[00:04:33] TREY GERRALD: broccoli coating like it's not even a carrot

[00:04:36] CHELSEY DONN: exactly.

[00:04:37] TREY GERRALD: But I'm so bummed about that because I really got into having like a little like Italian 

[00:04:42] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, look at my bling, look at my uh, 

[00:04:44] TREY GERRALD: like baby 

[00:04:45] CHELSEY DONN: situation here. 

[00:04:47] TREY GERRALD: And I know that I sweat, that's probably part of it. I also like wasn't taking it off and I like take a bath almost every night.

[00:04:52] So like maybe I was exacerbating it because I've only had it for maybe three or four months but gosh there's it's just very embarrassing to have green from jewelry because i don't wear jewelry i don't have my ears pierced i don't i this is brand new to be wearing necklaces i don't really wear rings so i have never experienced it i knew it to be a phenomenon but do you have any experience can you help me with this like how do i actually purchase a little chain necklace that isn't going to turn me green

[00:05:17] CHELSEY DONN: I guess you gotta just like really look at the fine print when you're buying something and see I mean usually I guess the price of gold right now especially is high but it doesn't have to be gold I mean there's other minerals I think that don't turn your neck green but you gotta do your due diligence and make sure that you're getting something with quality otherwise it will and it is like I don't, it shouldn't be, but it is sort of embarrassing.

[00:05:38] Like I remember I got a ring one time and it like turned my finger that like bluish green color. And I was like,

[00:05:44] I am a piece of shit, which is like,

[00:05:46] why? Like why? 

[00:05:47] TREY GERRALD: right there is a kind of there is an emotional connotation 

[00:05:50] CHELSEY DONN: Like, ew, like my jewelry is turning my skin green. Like that's like, I should be better. I don't know. Like why that is?

[00:05:57] TREY GERRALD: Does that mean I have to go to silver or

[00:05:59] CHELSEY DONN: No, no. It just means that you need to like. I think make sure that

[00:06:04] what you're buying, yeah, I think spend a little bit more money and I mean it happens to the best of us, also don't feel bad about shower, like I never, these are real gold, these are gifts

[00:06:14] from my parents, but I like never take them off, I

[00:06:17] sleep with them I bathe with them, I do all the things with them, and so like if I couldn't do that with a necklace, I probably almost wouldn't wear it, because like that's just the kind of person that I am, I just wanna, if I'm gonna get it, I'm gonna wear it, I'm gonna wear it.

[00:06:28] TREY GERRALD: It's also funny because for like a couple of, maybe the week, maybe last week, I would be in the bath and I would feel like a little irritation and I even sort of psyched myself out where I was like, am I like making this up or is, am I feeling itchy 

[00:06:41] CHELSEY DONN: that after he had suggested it or before? Oh,

[00:06:45] TREY GERRALD: probably, but I 

[00:06:46] CHELSEY DONN: you weren't making it up

[00:06:47] because like, if anything, it would be psychosomatic after the power of suggestion,

[00:06:54] TREY GERRALD: well, for all you listeners, my birthday's tomorrow, if you're listening to this today on Wednesday, so if you want to get me a present, I'll take a non green creating tight chain, thank you,

[00:07:08] CHELSEY DONN: What's on your Amazon?,

[00:07:09] wishlist, wishlist, 

[00:07:12] TREY GERRALD: so that's my 

[00:07:12] CHELSEY DONN: Grammys, 

[00:07:13] TREY GERRALD: thank you for hearing me out, I never thought I'd be talking about jewelry turning me green, but here we are in 2024, that's my 

[00:07:19] CHELSEY DONN: Another year, another complaint added to the ledger.

[00:07:24] You know, you're never too old to complain.

[00:07:27] TREY GERRALD: You're never fully dressed without green tarnish.

[00:07:32] CHELSEY DONN: Uh, is that what it is, tarnish? I guess so,

[00:07:34] TREY GERRALD: I guess, I don't know. No, because tarnishing I think is from like real gold.

[00:07:40] CHELSEY DONN: Or silver? Just silver tarnish?

[00:07:42] TREY GERRALD: New friends silver, old friends gold. Shout out to last 

[00:07:46] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, one is silver and the other is gold, right?

[00:07:49] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, whatever. All right. Well,

[00:07:51] CHELSEY DONN: friends, but keep the old. Shout out to last week.

[00:07:54] TREY GERRALD: that's right. Well, 

[00:07:55] CHELSEY DONN: and the other is gold. Okay. 

[00:07:57] TREY GERRALD: interested in honor of my birthday and jumping to an online review?

[00:08:00] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my god. I cannot wait.

[00:08:04] VOICEOVER: Review That Review, Assess

[00:08:08] CHELSEY DONN: Why, hello! We are your trusty Review Queens. Why, hello! I don't know if you remember me since last SoundCue. It's still me, your trusty Review Queen. We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

[00:08:27] TREY GERRALD: read the review, then we break it down together and rate the impact of the review on a scale from 0 to 5 crowns. This process is very regal, and we call it Alright, what did you decide would be appropriate for my grandma's 

[00:08:42] CHELSEY DONN: god, happy birthday, grammys, grammys, any ideas?

[00:08:47] TREY GERRALD: Is it McDonald's related?

[00:08:48] CHELSEY DONN: obviously McDonald's.

[00:08:50] TREY GERRALD: Okay, let's do it.

[00:08:51] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, so, I need to talk to you about this, Trey, because, I almost sent you McDonald's in the mail, but then, like, truth be told, I, like, messaged David, and I think he's doing a wedding, I messaged Emily, I messaged, um, Leticia, Leticia, what?

[00:09:04] What's your other friend?

[00:09:06] Leticia.

[00:09:07] Was it Leticia? I don't know.

[00:09:09] TREY GERRALD: What?

[00:09:10] CHELSEY DONN: I messaged, oh God. Lucinda, Lucinda, I

[00:09:18] TREY GERRALD: I was like, I didn't even get Lucinda from 

[00:09:21] CHELSEY DONN: literally messaged Lucinda,

[00:09:24] your husband, Emily Cratter, and then I realized I'm not friends with your sister, Mandy, on Instagram, don't, I requested, I don't know how we got away with that for so long, but I could not get your McDonald's order, and then, somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I had a memory, which I don't know if the memory is accurate.

[00:09:44] for present time or not, but that you like stopped eating McDonald's at a certain point. Is that true? Is that still intact?

[00:09:54] TREY GERRALD: This is, this is bringing up a lot of emotions for me, but partially because of our conversation, because when I did the McDonald's drive thru on the after show, you even pointed out, like, because the, after I watched Supersize Me, I was like, I'm not going to eat McDonald's anymore, but I continued to eat Burger King and Wendy's and whatever, and you said, right, that documentary could have been about any fast food.

[00:10:16] And I was like, yeah, why am I abstaining from this? And when I did the McDonald's review, you were like, oh, is this the one you go to? And then I was like, I haven't eaten McDonald's since 

[00:10:24] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. 

[00:10:26] TREY GERRALD: except I had had a McFlurry. So I actually went, I didn't tell anyone. I didn't even tell David. I went to the McDonald's and I honestly found it to be gross.

[00:10:36] Um, but no, 

[00:10:38] CHELSEY DONN: know that's why I was like, I was, my original plan was to also send you McDonald's so that you could eat McDonald's while we read this

[00:10:45] TREY GERRALD: oh my God,

[00:10:47] CHELSEY DONN: I couldn't get the order and then I was like I better not risk it so I have other plans for your birthday gift Which

[00:10:52] TREY GERRALD: wait, is this why you asked me about Chipotle?

[00:10:54] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, because then I was like maybe I'll send him Chipotle because then I was like well Are there other fast foods that I definitely know Trey eats and then I was like well Chipotle is owned by McDonald's

[00:11:03] so then I was Yes.

[00:11:05] TREY GERRALD: I didn't know that.

[00:11:06] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. And so then I was like, my roommate's getting me Chipotle. What should I order? But then I was like, you know what? I, I couldn't,

[00:11:13] TREY GERRALD: That's really slick of you because I did not catch that at all.

[00:11:17] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, I really tried to word it in a way that I was like, how am I gonna not get him to No. But then I was like, what if it's cold? Tre hates cold food.

[00:11:26] And then it's also late. Like, I didn't know if you ate dinner already. So I was like, I'm not gonna do this. And then the Happy Birthday Grimace gave me a different idea,

[00:11:35] which we'll talk about later. So anyway, with all that backstory in mind, Trey, we're going to read a three star review of a McDonald's that I frequented, not going to lie, when I lived in New York, because it's the one in Union Square.

[00:11:47] TREY GERRALD: Okay.

[00:11:48] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, the overall for this claimed McDonald's page

[00:11:52] on Yelp for this location

[00:11:54] TREY GERRALD: Is it like two and a half?

[00:11:56] CHELSEY DONN: 2. 2 and there's 103 reviews.

[00:12:00] TREY GERRALD: insane, because it's literally Union Square, like,

[00:12:05] CHELSEY DONN: And yeah,

[00:12:06] TREY GERRALD: like, of all of the McDonald's that exist in Manhattan, like, the Union Square location is 2. 2? That is 

[00:12:13] CHELSEY DONN: I know it's not a great look, but it's also like really kind of like, why? Like it's McDonald's. Don't we sort of know what we're getting?

[00:12:23] TREY GERRALD: Right?

[00:12:24] CHELSEY DONN: This particular review really stood out to me.

[00:12:27] So I figured I gotta bring it in. It's actually an old review. It was written in 2008. So I was still in college at the time.

[00:12:34] TREY GERRALD: You were probably eating there. 

[00:12:35] CHELSEY DONN: I could have been sitting right next to Chris H. when he thought up this review. So this is a three star review written by Chris H. Ooh, here we go. Chicken McNuggets! To be sung in an off key screechy voice, preferably drunk. Oh no. Okay, screechy for you guys. Chicken

[00:13:11] TREY GERRALD: No.

[00:13:13] CHELSEY DONN: you'll always be there for me, Wherever I go, anybody in the city, Whenever I'm hungry, especially at night, I only need a look for gold in our chairs,

[00:13:43] TREY GERRALD: Oh my god.

[00:13:45] CHELSEY DONN: There's a long waiting line, the pale fluorescent light,

[00:13:51] TREY GERRALD: What? Oh 

[00:13:51] CHELSEY DONN: The red yellow interior design, the fake plans. And of course, the dredges and the drunkards of the night,

[00:14:05] TREY GERRALD: Drunkards. What? 

[00:14:07] CHELSEY DONN: front and behind the counter. But how distasteful, how disgraceful, However well just NASTY, I'll always return for your

[00:14:34] TREY GERRALD: my god, we've lost the plot. No! Ew! Ew!

[00:14:41] CHELSEY DONN: NUGGETS, Those tasty little golden things full of chicken taste,

[00:14:48] TREY GERRALD: Oh!

[00:14:49] CHELSEY DONN: Full of chicken tasting material,

[00:14:54] TREY GERRALD: Oh! That's so gross. Oh god.

[00:15:00] CHELSEY DONN: tender, and hot, and how about sweet and sour sauce? 10 to a box I usually take, sometimes even 20, Once I did 50 plus two large fries and drinks,

[00:15:25] That was in Chicago, Thought it was not on the menu, It was on the register machine,

[00:15:39] TREY GERRALD: What does that mean?

[00:15:45] CHELSEY DONN: so o o o o o ord thing, I could probably eat more, I'm too scared to find out,

[00:16:06] TREY GERRALD: Oh, God.

[00:16:08] CHELSEY DONN: But I'm sure it's a lot, Please don't judge me, it's just, These things are so damn tasty, I love me some nuggets, Nuggets, Chicken McNuggets,

[00:16:32] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, we got it, Chris. We got it. Oh, 

[00:16:35] CHELSEY DONN: be there, You'll always be there for me, Wherever I go, Any block in the city,

[00:16:55] TREY GERRALD: Oh my god, uh

[00:17:00] CHELSEY DONN: Whenever I'm hungry, Especially night, I only need to look for Golden Arches,

[00:17:08] TREY GERRALD: oh,

[00:17:12] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, God, Trey, I hope you appreciate that, okay? I had to make myself very vulnerable to get through that.

[00:17:18] TREY GERRALD: you need a cough drop, I feel like, that was a lot of um, rock singing, 

[00:17:23] CHELSEY DONN: I felt like the right genre. But, just so we know,

[00:17:26] I wasn't just trying to be 

[00:17:28] TREY GERRALD: let me ask, let me ask, was the pulsating because it was caps and undercaps and caps 

[00:17:33] CHELSEY DONN: No, it was just, like, there's certain words that they just spelled, like, speakeasy sort of thing, for example, like, Speakeasy, S O R R R R R R R R R R R R R T,

[00:17:47] TREY GERRALD: oh my god.

[00:17:48] CHELSEY DONN: I love me some nuggets, and U U U U U U U U U G E T T Z.

[00:17:56] TREY GERRALD: So, do you think Chris was drunk when they wrote this?

[00:17:58] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my god, I think so, I do, I do,

[00:18:02] TREY GERRALD: You know, you unlocked a memory for me because,

[00:18:05] CHELSEY DONN: I did,

[00:18:07] TREY GERRALD: because I do recall being drunk in college,

[00:18:10] CHELSEY DONN: oh god,

[00:18:11] TREY GERRALD: this is danger conversation, do not recommend this, but my friend Kristin Eason, my friend Adam Roberts and I, we got so drunk, and Adam Roberts was famous for being the best drunk driver, this is not anything to be proud of, so he would always have to drive, and we would go to McDonald's.

[00:18:30] And his trick was extra cheese, and that's how you knew it was gonna be made fresh.

[00:18:35] CHELSEY DONN: um,

[00:18:36] TREY GERRALD: I'm, I'm relating to Chris here with drunk food, drunk eating at night, but I do have a question. The drunkards in the store and behind the counter, are they saying that the workers are drunk too?

[00:18:50] CHELSEY DONN: Both in front and behind the counter. Spelled C O U N N N N N N N N T E R.

[00:18:58] TREY GERRALD: Do you think Chris was really drunk?

[00:19:00] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah,

[00:19:01] TREY GERRALD: I do too.

[00:19:02] CHELSEY DONN: Like I do. I think that they got drunk and then they thought that this would be like a really funny thing to do.

[00:19:08] TREY GERRALD: it have a lot of, like, likes and helpful votes or anything?

[00:19:12] CHELSEY DONN: It actually only has three useful, eleven funny, and five cool.

[00:19:15] TREY GERRALD: That's it?

[00:19:17] CHELSEY DONN: That's it.

[00:19:17] TREY GERRALD: Also, what has occurred to me in the song was, Obviously, McDonald's is like the king of branding, like literally the M is so recognizable. And then in that same breath, Golden Arches, automatically is the McDonald's M.

[00:19:34] CHELSEY DONN: and we break it down to the pale fluorescent lights, the fake plants, which is

[00:19:39] I wouldn't even think of that, but that's so true.

[00:19:41] TREY GERRALD: And then Alright, well we just gotta talk about the nuggets. I'm gonna share from my experience. I think that McNuggets are gross. I don't find them to be tasty little golden things filled of chicken materials. I'm gonna go puke, I'll be right back.

[00:20:00] CHELSEY DONN: Chicken material is like one of the grosser things I've ever heard

[00:20:04] TREY GERRALD: but accurate

[00:20:06] CHELSEY DONN: but accurate.

[00:20:06] TREY GERRALD: i love chris's awareness of like it's not chicken this is a mcnugget like they're not even calling it a chicken nugget it's a 

[00:20:14] CHELSEY DONN: They're just calling it McNuggets. Yeah.

[00:20:16] TREY GERRALD: i mean all right useful new valuable info i think it's pretty valuable you can like Take care of your hangover tomorrow by going to the Golden Arches.

[00:20:27] You will have great company around you because everyone else is drunk, even the workers, apparently, and feel better. God, I cannot imagine eating 50 and two large fries in Chicago.

[00:20:37] CHELSEY DONN: And drinks, plural, in Chicago, How drunk were you?,

[00:20:41] TREY GERRALD: Also, they mentioned the sweet and sour sauce. What's the sauce you're gonna go for?

[00:20:46] CHELSEY DONN: I like a honey mustard,

[00:20:48] TREY GERRALD: I like barbecue. Or honey 

[00:20:49] CHELSEY DONN: I like barbecue, I like ranch, I like, I like, if I'm gonna do ranch, I like to have the barbecue cause I like a barbecue kind of ranch

[00:20:57] combo sometimes, I like a honey mustard and then I'm just like a ketchup girl too,

[00:21:01] TREY GERRALD: It's just endearing to me that if you're this, if you're drunk and your relation to McDonald's is like you're always there for me when I'm wasted, to like, leave this. It's a three star. Why is it three star?

[00:21:13] CHELSEY DONN: Ding, ding, ding. I was waiting for you to like, to catch that. Is it the chicken material?

[00:21:18] TREY GERRALD: No, cause it doesn't seem like Chris is judgmental of that.

[00:21:21] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, he just ordered 50 of them.

[00:21:22] TREY GERRALD: Well, now I'm very, well that's gonna play a huge role in how I crown Chris, cause this is clearly a five star.

[00:21:28] CHELSEY DONN: Yes, clearly. It's a song.

[00:21:31] TREY GERRALD: It's a song.

[00:21:32] CHELSEY DONN: It's a song.

[00:21:34] TREY GERRALD: It's a song.

[00:21:35] CHELSEY DONN: It's a song and it's talking about,

[00:21:37] TREY GERRALD: is like an Ozzy Osbourne anthem.

[00:21:39] CHELSEY DONN: yes, exactly, in the way I say it, but it's interesting because they say, but however disgraceful, however disgraceful, they say twice, however, well just nasty, you might have missed this in all of the, because they spelled it crazy, I'll always return for the nuggets.

[00:21:55] TREY GERRALD: So this is maybe even more of the awareness of Chris, that like, maybe Chris only goes there when they're drunk. Cause they're aware McDonald's is nasty.

[00:22:02] CHELSEY DONN: like I'm aware it's kind of gross,

[00:22:05] TREY GERRALD: I, 

[00:22:05] CHELSEY DONN: also like. When I turn from, like, Chris H. to Ozzy Osbourne, I, I need the chicken

[00:22:13] TREY GERRALD: well, you know what, here, I think that this is part of the flaw in the review is it could be clearer, even in your 

[00:22:19] CHELSEY DONN: Yes. 

[00:22:20] TREY GERRALD: Chris, you have a duty in this review. Alright, we 

[00:22:23] CHELSEY DONN: just one, one stanza, like, I gave it three stars because, you know, would've helped.

[00:22:28] TREY GERRALD: or maybe they're so drunk they thought they hit five but 

[00:22:31] CHELSEY DONN: That's what I thought. 

[00:22:32] TREY GERRALD: and it slid over, you know,

[00:22:33] CHELSEY DONN: That's what I actually had the same thoughts, right?

[00:22:36] TREY GERRALD: spelling grammar. Insane.

[00:22:38] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, they've created their own spell. I mean, spelling and grammar, I'll say, like, intentional, very intentional.

[00:22:46] there's there's stanzas in this. It looks pretty the way it's written out.

[00:22:52] TREY GERRALD: The truthful shady here for me is part of the drunkenness, like I can't tell if it's a joke and they're not drunk, or if they 

[00:22:59] CHELSEY DONN: but like do we have to consider the context because wouldn't you think a lot of people would be

[00:23:06] Getting McDonald's drunk,

[00:23:07] TREY GERRALD: I do, I mean I do think that's right, because they're famous for being 24 hours, like I think they're one of the first 

[00:23:13] CHELSEY DONN: mean in fact yesterday when I was driving home from work really late There was a DUI checkpoint that I had to go through and it was right next to the McDonald's,

[00:23:22] TREY GERRALD: yeah, entrapment. But I, I do believe, Chris, whether it's meant to be five, whether it's meant to be three, whether they think it's gross, or what, They love these chicken nuggets. I mean, they're singing 

[00:23:33] CHELSEY DONN: clearly they're right. They're singing a whole song.

[00:23:37] TREY GERRALD: So I find it truthful, not shady. I'm just confused about the three versus five, and nasty, disgusting.

[00:23:42] You know, I do think this is probably common because even, even you unlocked that memory of my college days of like McDonald's was for when you're drunk

[00:23:50] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, when you got drunk, you walked through the drive thru of McDonald's.

[00:23:55] TREY GERRALD: and I find people tend to be brand specific with fast food and I think it's typical for people to be obsessed with McDonald's. It is a culture. 

[00:24:04] CHELSEY DONN: For sure. 

[00:24:04] TREY GERRALD: The Golden Arches. Thoroughly humored and 

[00:24:08] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my 

[00:24:08] TREY GERRALD: know how much of that is the performance, but we couldn't have gotten the performance without the text, and you honored the text, Queen.

[00:24:16] CHELSEY DONN: I did my best to honor what Chris had written here.

[00:24:19] TREY GERRALD: Tish got you ready for that.

[00:24:21] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, I did my best, but I do think this is funny, this is interesting, this is different, I like, you know, I definitely was humored,

[00:24:28] TREY GERRALD: I think I could crown Chris H. 

[00:24:30] CHELSEY DONN: okay, let's crown them, 

[00:24:31] TREY GERRALD: So Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards. In an effort to be fair and not influenced by one another, we will simultaneously reveal our McNugget ratings.

[00:24:41] VOICEOVER: The Queens are tabulating, Total Score,

[00:24:50] CHELSEY DONN: I'm holding up four and a half crowns, Trey is holding up three and a half crowns, quite a discrepancy between the two of us, Trey, you go first, why three and a half crowns for our musician, Chris H.,

[00:25:03] TREY GERRALD: Well, because my first question is like, who's looking at reviews for a McDonald's? And then I was thinking, well, because you want to know if this is a gross location or like if there's like issues. So I actually can understand, like, let me look up the reviews of the Union Square McDonald's. The fact that it's 2.

[00:25:20] 2 overall is. It's disgustingly horrifying, but then, ultimately this is very funny, it's very entertaining, it doesn't tell me anything specific to this location necessarily, it's just funny and stupid and it's not harming anyone, the 3 vs 5 is very confusing, but I'm sure with this 2. 2 total, that 3 is probably helping the rating, making it higher, so, Chris, God love ya, I hope your life is filled with McNuggets, and that your 

[00:25:50] CHELSEY DONN: 50 at a time. 

[00:25:51] TREY GERRALD: That you have good heart 

[00:25:52] CHELSEY DONN: Your cholesterol's alright.

[00:25:53] TREY GERRALD: three and a half for me. Why'd you say four and a half?

[00:25:56] CHELSEY DONN: I said four and a half because truth be told, I knew it was Trey's birthday, I wanted to do a fast food review, I picked McDonald's because it's sort of the king of fast food,

[00:26:05] I googled, like, funniest Yelp reviews for McDonald's, and this was on the list, and it was the only one on the list that didn't just talk about poop and, like, diarrhea the whole time.

[00:26:17] And I'm just sort of, like, over that. Humor, and I think this is really unique and

[00:26:24] different. It stood out to me immediately when I even saw it and the way that it was all divided up. I just think it's funny that they gave an instruction to the person that's reading it, like the style that they wanted this to be read, I think it's a little bit winky.

[00:26:40] When you're writing a review for McDonald, you are kind of writing it for review's sake, right? You are kind of writing it to be on a buzzfeed list. So I can't really apply some of the same rules that I do for other reviews. I feel like, to this one, and for that reason, pretty successful. Four and a half crowns, almost a review queen.

[00:26:57] Not really sure about the three stars with such a glowing song review. That was where I lost the half crown here for Chris. But other than that. Solid.

[00:27:07] TREY GERRALD: Good job, Chris, I hope you're happy and full.

[00:27:09] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, this was a long time ago. I wonder if Chris has still eaten 50 nuggets at a time from the secret menu and I wonder if it still exists or if it was like ushered out with great biggie fries, right?

[00:27:22] But anyway, Trey, we've reached the most regal portion of our show. Who are you inducting for?

[00:27:30] VOICEOVER: My Royal Highness,

[00:27:32] TREY GERRALD: Over the weekend, I got so lost in a book and I am someone who loves reading, but I don't really have a lot of time for reading and I have to be sucked in immediately. And it is challenging for me because I do spend so much of my time editing the show, but I. Had a window of time. So there's this author, her name is Rebecca Makai, M A K K A I, she's had maybe six books published to date.

[00:28:00] I found her during the pandemic because she was one of the finalists for the Pulitzer Prize for a novel called The Great Believers, which just destroyed me. This is actually, this was 2019. It was pre pandemic and was one of, it's like one of the greatest reads I've ever had. So they have this new novel that came out early 2023 and I didn't hear about it until over the weekend.

[00:28:26] And I did that thing where I was like, I have to find it. The novel is called, I Have Some Questions For You. So I was in just because of the great believers, but the short little log line here. It is fiction, true crime, it's like a murder mystery, but Rebecca McKay isn't like genre specific, she's such a genius writer, and she's a professor as well, and she's like already so prolific, but she breaks like the genre that she writes, it's crazy, so I just have such mad respect for her, but I obviously like murder mysteries, and I like true crime, and all of that, so I was in, and The logline of the book is the main character Bodhi, she is a podcaster and is asked to return to teach a two week course at her boarding high school where her roommate had been murdered,

[00:29:23] CHELSEY DONN: Ah!

[00:29:24] TREY GERRALD: found dead in the school's swimming pool, and possibly the wrong person was incarcerated.

[00:29:32] It's just a fascinating book, and so much of Rebecca McKay's genius is in the descriptive, emotional nature that she can tap into as a writer. The whole book is about memory, and what happens to memory, how we contort memory, and The trauma of being a high schooler and how you feel about yourself and how you think you're being perceived and then returning to the place of the crime, this boarding school, and I went to a boarding school in high school.

[00:29:59] So just walking in the place where you saw the world as a younger person and who you thought you would become. And there's so much melancholy there. And then then it's just like I could go on and on and on. It was a really fun. I literally Chelsea devoured it in like four days. I Great book. I'm just going to induct it.

[00:30:17] I really encourage you if you're interested, you can do the Audible, you can purchase the book. I think it just came out in paperback in February, but it's also more than just being like a weird true crimey murder mystery. Like it's not vapid, it like taps into really emotional stuff. And I really loved it.

[00:30:33] And here I am. I'm going to recommend it to you all. I give it five crowns. I have some questions for you by Rebecca Mackay. Go get it at your bookstore or Audible. That is My Royal Highness on my birthday episode.

[00:30:47] CHELSEY DONN: that,

[00:30:47] TREY GERRALD: I got long winded there, but I really enjoyed the book. I encourage everyone to read it.

[00:30:51] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, you know I love an audible, so I might just have to pick that up.

[00:30:56] What a great recommendation.

[00:30:58] TREY GERRALD: Thank you! Oh my god, Chelsey, I nearly forgot, but guess what? Another birthday gift!

[00:31:05] VOICEOVER: Listener voicemail,

[00:31:07] CHELSEY DONN: yay! This is like my birthday.

[00:31:09] TREY GERRALD: I know, here we go. So, you may recall last week, you made a request, and wouldn't you know, our voice mailbox got, our mo

[00:31:18] CHELSEY DONN: our moist mailbox. 

[00:31:20] TREY GERRALD: moist mailbox, our voice mailbox got stuffed. So, here we go, let's listen.

[00:31:24] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:31:26] VOICEOVER: Hey, Queens, it's David. So I just played the game. Is it a dance or is it a prance from last week's episode? And as a wedding photographer who's been to hundreds of weddings, I thought I would do very well on it. But, Chelsey, you beat me. I

[00:31:42] only got four out of 10. Now I have to say, I believe that some of these are incorrect.

[00:31:48] Just from personal experience, for instance, We Are Family vs. Love on Top, I have rarely heard We Are Family at a wedding, I mean, think about it, what 27 year old who lives in New York City wants We Are Family playing at their wedding? I, like, it's Love on Top, but, you know, I only got 4 out of 10, so Chelsey, you beat me, and I will say, I know Trey gave it a shout out, but I Wanna Dance with Somebody is hands down The most popular song at a wedding, I don't think I've been to a Single wedding that has not had, I want to dance with somebody playing and 

[00:32:22] it packs the dance floor every single time.

[00:32:25] So I had a lot of fun with this game. Happy dancing. Happy prancing.

[00:32:36] CHELSEY DONN: it's just because my experience is going to a lot of bat mitzvahs in the 90s, but We Are Family was like, you were not getting out of the room without hearing We Are Family.

[00:32:44] TREY GERRALD: Well, that's very funny you say that because I was listening as David was listening and when we, our family came up, he goes, no, that's a bar mitzvahs.

[00:32:52] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah,

[00:32:53] TREY GERRALD: But yeah, no, I was shocked. And David also was like, the year plays such a huge impact because like the list was compiled in 2021. 

[00:33:00] CHELSEY DONN: right, 

[00:33:00] TREY GERRALD: So, but Whitney will always live on and we love that.

[00:33:03] CHELSEY DONN: Ugh, I love that,

[00:33:05] TREY GERRALD: Thanks for calling in 

[00:33:05] CHELSEY DONN: wholeheartedly agree, David, what a great voicemail, sorry I beat you, sorry not sorry, no, love you, please play along, call in like David if you've played any of the games and you've beaten me or Trey or lost to me and Trey, own up, fess up, 1850 Review Zero, thank you David,

[00:33:21] TREY GERRALD: you can do like David and literally do both and also say that you think the answers are wrong. That's 

[00:33:26] CHELSEY DONN: oh that's fun, and totally valid,

[00:33:28] TREY GERRALD: Well, we did it, Queen. That's another round on the RU and RQ. I'm loving it. Ferris Wheel. 

[00:33:35] CHELSEY DONN: Thank you for joining us today. I hope you're loving it. If you liked what you heard, please tell a friend.

[00:33:41] TREY GERRALD: you did not love it, then I hope you go tell Grimace. Or another enemy.

[00:33:47] CHELSEY DONN: that's right. Okay, on this week's after show pod, you guys, I have another McDonald's review. It is a Google review, a one star review for McDonald's, and I'm bringing it into the after show because I just had to bring this second review in because I just couldn't get enough from this list that I found and just wait.

[00:34:03] TREY GERRALD: Buckle in, all right. Well, I'm so curious with that lead in. Why did this get said? To say, like, the devil is the franchisee of Jiffy Lube. That is so funny.

[00:34:15] CHELSEY DONN: I know!

[00:34:17] TREY GERRALD: Wow,

[00:34:18] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, I wonder, really curious,

[00:34:21] TREY GERRALD: and I was so much older then, how interesting. 

[00:34:23] CHELSEY DONN: yes, exactly, exactly,

[00:34:26] TREY GERRALD: in the meantime, make sure as you're enjoying your McNuggets that you remember,

[00:34:30] CHELSEY DONN: the haters, you're a queen, McQueen,

[00:34:33] TREY GERRALD: Non Mc, 

[00:34:34] CHELSEY DONN: a 

[00:34:35] TREY GERRALD: Ronald McDonald, Queens, McQueen, Bye!

[00:34:40] CHELSEY DONN: bye,

[00:34:43] VOICEOVER: Sign up directly on Apple Podcasts to hear our weekly members only after show. Unlock additional benefits when you become a Patreon member at reviewthatreview. com slash patreon Follow us on all the socials at TheReviewQueens and join our mailing list at ReviewThatReview. com. Our Kvetch line is open 24 7 at 1 850 REVIEW ZERO.

[00:35:02] You never visit, you never write, give us a call! Now! Mmm!

[00:35:07] TREY GERRALD: so sweet you were, that's so sweet you were trying to organize the delivery.

[00:35:11] CHELSEY DONN: I know, I did

[00:35:12] try, I did 

[00:35:13] TREY GERRALD: sorry, I'm sorry it didn't work out. 

[00:35:14] CHELSEY DONN: it's okay, cue the music, send us off with grimace,

[00:35:20] VOICEOVER: I just 

[00:35:20] got the Grimace Shake, sounds delicious. Do you want the Grimace Shake? Yes, it's so nutritious. If I drink it, will it be a big mistake? Why would you ever think? Happy Birthday Grimace, What is on your Amazon, Wishlist, You've given me everything and more, You're the new friend we're looking for, Happy Birthday Grimace.

[00:35:49] CHELSEY DONN: All right, Queen,

[00:35:51] um, 

[00:35:51] TREY GERRALD: out. 

[00:35:52] CHELSEY DONN: I know, for your birthday, Trey, I didn't tell you, but I'm gonna tell you in this little cutout, I'm gonna send you an Amazon gift card. I want you to buy something from your Amazon wishlist with the Amazon gift card that I send you, and then I want you to do a live review on next week's After Show, so all the more reason to join Patreon. Join for this crazy review and the next week you're gonna hear a live review of Trey from his Amazon wishlist wishlist.

[00:36:23] TREY GERRALD: Thank you, Chelsey.

[00:36:25] CHELSEY DONN: You're welcome. I love

[00:36:25] TREY GERRALD: Love you guys. We'll see you Friday. Bye!

[00:36:28] CHELSEY DONN: Bye



Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.


 

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