top of page

TRANSCRIPT of Episode 152: "Señor Frogs, Myrtle Beach: 1 vs 5 Stars"

Review That Review with Chelsey & Trey
Episode 152: "Señor Frogs, Myrtle Beach: 1 vs 5 Stars"


*Please pardon any and all spelling errors!


[00:00:00] CHELSEY DONN: Ew, God, I shouldn't have even looked at my picture, I mean, it's so gross, oh, God,

[00:00:05] TREY GERRALD: have to look

[00:00:06] CHELSEY DONN: oh, my God, I can't, like, I just, like, even just seeing that picture, just, yeah, What happened in the picture?

[00:00:16] TREY GERRALD: I do not like

[00:00:17] CHELSEY DONN: I, no, I do not, it's really fat, and it's really big, and not, I'm not side shaming, because I love, like, oh, my God, Hola,

[00:00:28] THEME SONG: Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:01:02] TREY GERRALD: that review

[00:01:08] CHELSEY DONN: reseñas! Y ese es Trey Gerrald,

[00:01:22] TREY GERRALD: dons. Hey,

[00:01:26] CHELSEY DONN: k. a. Las Reinas de la Revisión, yay, ooh, thank you, this episode is brought to you by Duolingo,

[00:01:54] TREY GERRALD: hola, hola and Google Translate Yes, we are caucasian americans, but we are doing our best. Oh, you guys, it's May 1st, which means we're gonna celebrate Cinco de Mayo, because why the hell not? Get y'all tequilas up, come on, party, oh, la fiesta!

[00:02:18] CHELSEY DONN: clink clink, Trey is wearing a taco on his head,

[00:02:21] TREY GERRALD: How did you know it was a taco?

[00:02:23] CHELSEY DONN: because it looks like a taco hat, did you make that?

[00:02:26] TREY GERRALD: kidding, no, no, no, it's like from Amazon.

[00:02:29] CHELSEY DONN: It looks like something you could have made, which I think is a compliment, like a captain's hat style, and then we have just like meat, and lettuce, and cheese shreds, sort of coming all out of the taco, and uh, tomatoes, pico de gallo probably, little red belt, looks very DIY,

[00:02:48] TREY GERRALD: yeah, I think it was like 2. 99 or something, you know.

[00:02:52] CHELSEY DONN: haha, it's cute though,

[00:02:54] TREY GERRALD: celebrate today, but Chelsey, before we do,

[00:02:57] CHELSEY DONN: yes,

[00:02:57] TREY GERRALD: the energy down in order to bring it up.

[00:02:59] CHELSEY DONN: mmm, si, no problemo,

[00:03:03] TREY GERRALD: to?

[00:03:03] VOICEOVER: Lodge a complaint.

[00:03:05] TREY GERRALD: I don't know how to say that in Espanol, sorry, lo siento, gracias.

[00:03:09] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, I would like to lodge a complaint. So recently I was at the grocery store and I was trying to reach something on the top shelf. And it was just a little bit out of reach, which to me is just very frustrating. It's almost more frustrating than it just being completely impossible when it's just like, it's so close.

[00:03:30] Like, do I take this box of crackers from the shelf underneath it and try to do the slide? And then sometimes there's people, no offense, because I imagine it's not the best job, but sometimes there's people that are working at the store that are like stalking and you're like, do I really, like, I wish that they would just turn around and be like, let me get that.

[00:03:48] So usually I end up just asking of like random tall pedestrian in the store. I'm like, I'm so sorry, like, would you mind? And usually, you know, they're like, no problem, but I don't know, I guess like maybe it's a metaphor for life, but there is something about Something being just, just out of reach, you know,

[00:04:08] TREY GERRALD: for me in my emotional life, but yes, I do hear that complaint. And I'll tell you, when I worked at Joanne Fabric, we had those,

[00:04:14] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah.

[00:04:15] TREY GERRALD: ladders,

[00:04:16] CHELSEY DONN: Uh huh.

[00:04:17] TREY GERRALD: like, a chain on the front to, like, keep random customers from, like, trying to

[00:04:22] CHELSEY DONN: From using it.

[00:04:23] TREY GERRALD: because that would be a liability.

[00:04:24] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah.

[00:04:25] TREY GERRALD: I agree, there is something that's very frustrating about the top shelf just being a little too high or when it's like

[00:04:31] CHELSEY DONN: Yes.

[00:04:32] TREY GERRALD: are gone and you just

[00:04:33] CHELSEY DONN: Right.

[00:04:34] TREY GERRALD: that back one. Oh, I hate that.

[00:04:36] CHELSEY DONN: Exactly. So frustrating. So that's my complaint of the week.

[00:04:41] TREY GERRALD: I really hear that.

[00:04:42] CHELSEY DONN: Listeners, I don't know if you have the same problem, but hopefully things become more in reach.

[00:04:48] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, and

[00:04:48] CHELSEY DONN: That's a sentence.

[00:04:50] TREY GERRALD: is there's no problem with asking for help.

[00:04:52] CHELSEY DONN: That's right. That too. Good, good spin.

[00:04:56] TREY GERRALD: are a family, like a giant tree. Well,

[00:05:02] CHELSEY DONN: Wow. Yes.

[00:05:03] TREY GERRALD: coming together, being a family, asking for help, do you want to talk about a certain topic and really dissect both ends of the spectrum? Oh, good, for a second I was worried you would say no, and then I wouldn't know what to do for the next hour and a half, But, Chelsey,

[00:05:20] CHELSEY DONN: CCC!

[00:05:20] TREY GERRALD: don't we go hand to

[00:05:22] CHELSEY DONN: Let's do it!

[00:05:24] VOICEOVER: Assess that Keve,

[00:05:26] TREY GERRALD: Yes, Queens, it is another Versus episode, meaning we are going to cover both a one star review and a five star review on the same topic to try to find the truth that lies somewhere in the middle.

[00:05:37] CHELSEY DONN: That's right, for this versus episode, Trey has selected the 5 star and I have selected the 1 star. So, to determine who reads first, we gotta flip that quota. I think it's your turn to guess, Trey.

[00:05:51] TREY GERRALD: Okay, this is going to be hard because I have some nailed gloves on that I did make

[00:05:55] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, those gloves? I was gonna say, your nails look fabulous.

[00:05:58] TREY GERRALD: Well, I did rhinestone the nails, too.

[00:06:00] CHELSEY DONN: That's very Dolly Parton of you. I love it.

[00:06:03] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, but I dyed this with teabags to match my skin tone. Speaking of crafty,

[00:06:08] CHELSEY DONN: Trey's so multi talented.

[00:06:10] TREY GERRALD: I'm gonna say heads, tails.

[00:06:15] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, that means I go. Okay.

[00:06:17] TREY GERRALD: let me tell you all, since I'm the loser so far, Alright, so yes, okay, in honor of Cinco de Mayo, I'm so excited, We are collecting data from both ends of the spectrum on TripAdvisor for Senor Frogs, in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, Dirty Myrtle, where Trey went to college, Oh, have I been to this location?

[00:06:40] Si, Senor Frog. So, at the time of this recording, there are 2, 291 reviews on TripAdvisor, with an average score of a solid 4 out of 5, not too shabby, mas o menos.

[00:06:56] CHELSEY DONN: agreed. Bueno, bueno.

[00:07:02] TREY GERRALD: because I feel like it's not telling you anything, it's just words, but, all caps, come for the food, stay for the fun, and unleash your fiesta with us. What the frog? Exclamation mark, not a question mark. Okay? Also in caps, Starting in 1969, We've been your, quote unquote, Infamous party scene, and then now here we go, regular caps. Taste our signature drinks in our world famous, all caps, YARD! and experience all the unique and fun that makes your life. What? If you've ever been to a Senior Frogs, anywhere in the world, you already know, you already know, that we're a place where people of all backgrounds hang together. Amen. Dance, sing, bylar, kantar, And basically, act the way they want, without worrying about silly rules and regulations. Our philosophy is simple, have fun, let yourself go, and get into the party!

[00:07:58] They also list their dietary options, it's vegetarian friendly, vegan options, gluten free options, and their cuisines, in case you were curious, are Mexican, bar, didn't know that was a cuisine, and international. Weird, right?

[00:08:11] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah,

[00:08:11] TREY GERRALD: Have you ever been to a Senior Frogs?

[00:08:13] CHELSEY DONN: I feel like I've been to, is there one in like Cabo? I feel like I've been to, yeah.

[00:08:19] TREY GERRALD: actually,

[00:08:20] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, I think I've been in Mexico.

[00:08:22] TREY GERRALD: yes. And there was one in Key West for a while,

[00:08:25] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, I've definitely been.

[00:08:27] TREY GERRALD: I think there's one in LA, too, because drag queens do drag brunches there, which is fun,

[00:08:31] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:08:31] TREY GERRALD: have a distinction of, like, making balloon animal hats, and

[00:08:35] CHELSEY DONN: Mm hmm.

[00:08:36] TREY GERRALD: giant cocktails, and, like, so it's like a fun party scene, you know?

[00:08:40] CHELSEY DONN: Right, right.

[00:08:40] TREY GERRALD: It's like an Applebee's, but like fun, like Fat Tuesdays meets Applebee's. I would say.

[00:08:45] CHELSEY DONN: Agree.

[00:08:45] TREY GERRALD: with all of that background info, let's jump in.

[00:08:48] CHELSEY DONN: Let's do it.

[00:08:50] TREY GERRALD: Commo, did he say jump?

[00:08:52] CHELSEY DONN: Jump. What's the DSA jump? I feel like I did at one point. Yes. I took like five years of Spanish, so.

[00:09:01] TREY GERRALD: walk fast.

[00:09:04] VOICEOVER: review that review.

[00:09:07] CHELSEY DONN: Saltar!

[00:09:09] TREY GERRALD: So tar?

[00:09:10] CHELSEY DONN: All right, let's saltar right in, shall we? This review was written by Pamela R. As we mentioned, one dot over here, this is TripAdvisor, subject is dinner, and here we go. Would give this less than one star if possible. Classic line. We were seated on the patio for dinner. Before our drinks were delivered to the table, we noticed a commotion at a table directly to our right.

[00:09:43] TREY GERRALD: Oh no.

[00:09:44] CHELSEY DONN: We turned to see a man seated at that table with a large snake. Wrapped around his neck,

[00:09:54] TREY GERRALD: Oh God.

[00:09:55] CHELSEY DONN: several servers were delighted and handling the ball python and asking questions. I love animals, but I don't pay money to eat tacos with a large snake. We spoke to the waiter and were told the other patron was there first, so all he could do was re seat us inside.

[00:10:22] That's the moment we should have stood up and left. Instead, both my husband and I tried to be courteous and took our drinks and relocated to an inside booth. We watched the wait staff return to work. Without even washing,

[00:10:41] TREY GERRALD: No.

[00:10:42] CHELSEY DONN: I complained to our server, who did not handle the snake, In a few minutes, the manager, Jorge, Arrived at our table with a lame explanation of how the patron was an ex soldier and the snake might have been a service animal.

[00:11:01] He did take half off our bill, but it was too little, too late, disgusting,

[00:11:08] TREY GERRALD: Oh.

[00:11:09] CHELSEY DONN: Senior Frogs is a multinational chain that would do well to review their management at this location. We also witnessed four to eight waitstaff lounging at tables and the bar for lengthy periods. I bet the South Carolina Health Department will take a viewpoint more similar to mine than the manager's.

[00:11:34] About large snakes in a public eating establishment.

[00:11:44] TREY GERRALD: Wait, I just clocked this right there at the end. Like, obviously, we're going to dissect this, but the person with the snake was actually outside, on

[00:11:51] CHELSEY DONN: correct. Does that make it better? I guess so.

[00:11:55] TREY GERRALD: I mean, yes, I personally, I think it's better, but we're going to get into the ins and outs of this, but what year was this written? I'm curious.

[00:12:02] CHELSEY DONN: Right around Cinco de Mayo, so May 8th, 2017, so they probably went for a Cinco de Mayo moment.

[00:12:08] TREY GERRALD: you think the snake had a little sombrero on?

[00:12:10] CHELSEY DONN: I don't.

[00:12:12] TREY GERRALD: I don't either. It would have been cute though.

[00:12:14] CHELSEY DONN: I don't know, like, I don't fuck with snakes as a general rule, but we can get into that.

[00:12:19] TREY GERRALD: Let's just go. Let's, let's go right to it. I do have several other things I want to talk about, but do you remember that viral picture of someone who brought a giant ass peacock as their service animal

[00:12:28] CHELSEY DONN: On a plane? Yes.

[00:12:30] TREY GERRALD: Alright, what do you think of this? Like, what do you think?

[00:12:33] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, first of all, I'm terrified of snakes. I feel like there are certain animals that should not be out in public, especially in a restaurant. Okay, examples,

[00:12:46] TREY GERRALD: think any sort of reptile,

[00:12:48] CHELSEY DONN: sort of reptile, But a snake more than like a lizard or a gecko, like even like I could get behind, like listen, It's not my favorite thing, But like could I see someone in Venice with a gecko on like a leash or something, sitting in an outdoor patio, If that gecko is like sitting under the table with like shredded lettuce, Yeah, okay, like I can like as long as it's like on a leash and contained.

[00:13:09] Yeah, I can get behind that. A snake? Uh uh, no snakes, no vermin, no rats. Like can you imagine bringing like a pet rat to a restaurant?

[00:13:19] TREY GERRALD: right? That would certainly not fly.

[00:13:21] CHELSEY DONN: Like no, like I don't know about birds. Out at a restaurant,

[00:13:25] TREY GERRALD: is that you can't put a leash on a snake.

[00:13:28] CHELSEY DONN: right, and it feels like it could just slither away and it's terrifying and also kind of snake did they say it was?

[00:13:34] It was a,

[00:13:35] TREY GERRALD: you that. Is that a typo? Did they misspell boa? It sounded like

[00:13:38] CHELSEY DONN: what did they write? Ball, ball python,

[00:13:42] TREY GERRALD: How do you spell that?

[00:13:43] CHELSEY DONN: ball like tennis ball, soccer ball,

[00:13:45] TREY GERRALD: Oh, I've never heard of that. I thought they

[00:13:47] CHELSEY DONN: mania, like a python? That sounds effing terrifying, ball python, oh god, I shouldn't have even looked at my picture, I mean it's so gross, oh god.

[00:13:57] TREY GERRALD: have to like,

[00:13:59] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my god, I can't, like, I just, like, even just seeing that picture, just, yeah,

[00:14:08] TREY GERRALD: do not like

[00:14:09] CHELSEY DONN: I know I do not, it's really fat, and it's really big, and not, I'm not side shaming, because I love, like, oh my god,

[00:14:18] TREY GERRALD: wait. I was picturing perhaps like a Britney Spears yellow.

[00:14:22] CHELSEY DONN: yeah, no, which I'd still be uncomfortable about, this is a nightmare, this is like, anaconda to me,

[00:14:29] TREY GERRALD: snake, yes, any snake that is like camo colors,

[00:14:33] CHELSEY DONN: Yes,

[00:14:34] TREY GERRALD: dark green and like

[00:14:36] CHELSEY DONN: and wide.

[00:14:37] TREY GERRALD: oh my god,

[00:14:38] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, God. Oh, God. I don't know what I'm doing! Same. Oh my God. I'm so scared. Okay.

[00:14:44] TREY GERRALD: actually feel,

[00:14:45] CHELSEY DONN: I feel, yeah. Oh my God. Yeah, like put yourself in the shoes of this couple, Pamela and her husband. What would you, like, what, what, like, what would you do?

[00:14:56] TREY GERRALD: okay, I am of many

[00:14:58] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my God.

[00:15:00] TREY GERRALD: It's outrageous to bring a snake to a restaurant. Period. Even if you have served for our country, okay? Okay. We do have, like, health standards in this country, so, like, I imagine a python does not count as a service animal?

[00:15:14] CHELSEY DONN: and it is an animal that like a lot of people would be afraid of, like you're, you know what I mean?

[00:15:18] TREY GERRALD: Like, you know you're gonna cause a scene, so

[00:15:20] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah,

[00:15:21] TREY GERRALD: and drinking alcohol somewhere? That seems a little scary to

[00:15:24] CHELSEY DONN: right. Yes. Handling a snake under the influence.

[00:15:27] TREY GERRALD: Mm, should not, should not. I don't want to be around that. I don't want to be

[00:15:29] CHELSEY DONN: No,

[00:15:30] TREY GERRALD: next to that.

[00:15:31] CHELSEY DONN: definitely not.

[00:15:32] TREY GERRALD: to be clear, you know, they make the distinction that they're on the patio, right?

[00:15:35] And that's going to traditionally be tables and

[00:15:38] CHELSEY DONN: Yes. Yeah,

[00:15:40] TREY GERRALD: that they're seated at a booth

[00:15:41] CHELSEY DONN: correct.

[00:15:42] TREY GERRALD: and God, I love a booth.

[00:15:43] CHELSEY DONN: Love a booth.

[00:15:44] TREY GERRALD: But that makes it, that's a distinction, because even if I was at a booth, and the booth next to me had a snake, I could sort of position myself to not see it.

[00:15:52] But

[00:15:52] CHELSEY DONN: Right.

[00:15:53] TREY GERRALD: at like a random outdoor table that has those slatted holes in the top, like,

[00:15:58] CHELSEY DONN: That's exactly what I'm picturing. Yeah.

[00:16:00] TREY GERRALD: to a snake outside. I, now here, but, I also want to say, I don't know what the rules

[00:16:08] CHELSEY DONN: Mm hmm.

[00:16:08] TREY GERRALD: especially in 2017, whatever, but I do know that this location is at Broadway at the Beach, which is like, an outdoor, mall ish type situation with

[00:16:17] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:16:17] TREY GERRALD: bars, tons of drinking, shit goes down at Broadway at the Beach,

[00:16:21] CHELSEY DONN: you not shocked to hear that there's a guy with a snake in this location?

[00:16:25] TREY GERRALD: Well, here we go, I am from South Carolina and I did go to college in this area, so I think I can speak with some authority that there are creatures that exist in these

[00:16:34] CHELSEY DONN: Mm hmm.

[00:16:35] TREY GERRALD: in Key West, you know, like there's a creature that exists that's gonna have some weird ass animal stroll in the town, and they're

[00:16:42] CHELSEY DONN: Mm hmm.

[00:16:43] TREY GERRALD: they're the town character,

[00:16:44] CHELSEY DONN: Right, right.

[00:16:45] TREY GERRALD: but this is so bizarre, I don't think I've ever considered a snake at a restaurant, that's fucking crazy,

[00:16:49] CHELSEY DONN: worked at restaurants. If somebody came into a restaurant that you were working in, seated at an outside table, and they were like, I'm a veteran. This is my service, snake. What would you do?

[00:17:03] TREY GERRALD: well, I don't know, because I think you're not even allowed to ask for service, like I think it's

[00:17:08] CHELSEY DONN: No, you could say, you can say, what service does the snake provide? But if they have an answer, then

[00:17:18] TREY GERRALD: I don't know. It's very tricky, which is why I want to at least acknowledge that Senior Frogs put them outside.

[00:17:24] CHELSEY DONN: right,

[00:17:25] TREY GERRALD: they have decided to allow the guest, whether that's right or wrong, legal or not. So when Pamela complains, and the response is, you know, this guest was already here, so we will accommodate you by moving you, because we have

[00:17:38] CHELSEY DONN: right,

[00:17:39] TREY GERRALD: to allow them to be here, okay?

[00:17:41] Then the manager apologizes, gives them 50 percent off.

[00:17:46] CHELSEY DONN: right, right, right, right,

[00:17:49] TREY GERRALD: accommodate you better like what do you mean like the company needs to look at this management like i think they actually did all they could i i personally think the mistake was allowing the snake there and then allowing your employees to go touch it

[00:18:02] CHELSEY DONN: right.

[00:18:03] TREY GERRALD: you didn't see them wash their hands like all of that seems like A big ass no no.

[00:18:08] CHELSEY DONN: Right,

[00:18:09] TREY GERRALD: So I'm very conflicted. I am someone that wants to avoid conflict at all times, but I would maybe be like, can I just like be as far away from the snake? Like if it

[00:18:17] CHELSEY DONN: right,

[00:18:18] TREY GERRALD: and I'm like eating my pinto beans, like I

[00:18:20] CHELSEY DONN: right.

[00:18:21] TREY GERRALD: like I'm going to get attacked. And now that I've seen that picture of a ball python,

[00:18:25] CHELSEY DONN: Oh

[00:18:26] TREY GERRALD: and they said their server wasn't touching it, but if I saw servers touching that fucking snake, would be so skeeved out.

[00:18:33] I

[00:18:33] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, agree. And that's like another thing with the service animals, like people aren't really supposed to pet

[00:18:39] TREY GERRALD: with it. Right, they're

[00:18:40] CHELSEY DONN: or engage with the service animal because yeah, because they're like working and right, rabahar. I mean, it's interesting to me that we have a one star review, not only a one star review, but a one star review that's saying, I wish I could make this a zero star review.

[00:18:55] When there were concessions that were made, right, like we did give a discount, we did move you to another table, we did send the manager over to apologize, we're not commenting on the food being bad,

[00:19:07] TREY GERRALD: No, it has nothing to do with any of

[00:19:08] CHELSEY DONN: and it's like a really isolated incident, so I can't imagine that it's gonna be common, so how valuable is this review, you know, without mentioning anything about the food or about the experience?

[00:19:21] I don't know if it's that valuable.

[00:19:24] TREY GERRALD: You literally took that entire paragraph out of my mouth. Like, I was waiting to say, I don't think there's a lot of value here.

[00:19:31] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah,

[00:19:31] TREY GERRALD: and new information? Yes, but if we wrap into the commonality, I don't know how often this veteran, allegedly,

[00:19:39] CHELSEY DONN: gonna be attending.

[00:19:40] TREY GERRALD: Python service, Python, allegedly is going to be at this,

[00:19:44] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah.

[00:19:45] TREY GERRALD: our pads are going to cross. They do talk about how they noticed lots of wait staff lounging at tables and bar

[00:19:53] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, that's true.

[00:19:54] TREY GERRALD: But they've also, that is again, one of these experiences where they throw something other digs in that may be like, is it influenced because you feel angry?

[00:20:02] CHELSEY DONN: Right.

[00:20:03] TREY GERRALD: you have had that impact if the snake wasn't there?

[00:20:05] Like, would you have been bothered that people were waiting

[00:20:07] CHELSEY DONN: And also, it's sort of, um, a moot point because you're excluding your own server from the behavior. You're like, all these other servers were doing this thing, but our server didn't.

[00:20:18] TREY GERRALD: Right. Kind of mind your own business.

[00:20:20] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, like our, our server obviously did their job. Like they got the manager. They got us to a new table. They, like, they weren't the ones touching the snake.

[00:20:28] Allegedly, they weren't the ones that were sitting by the bar.

[00:20:31] TREY GERRALD: And to Pamela's credit, I, I do probably think this is truthful. Like, I don't

[00:20:36] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah,

[00:20:37] TREY GERRALD: because they're exposing that they're angry that, like, they didn't get more than 50 percent off and that their upsetness didn't kick someone out. Like,

[00:20:47] CHELSEY DONN: right. Well, that's what I was like thinking. I'm like, well, what's the alternative at that point? Like if the person with the snake got there before you, they already let them in. They're sitting, they're eating, they're doing their thing. Like, other than saying, well, move you, what else? And taking 50 percent off your bill for your trauma.

[00:21:05] What more could they have done? Giving you a hundred percent off?

[00:21:09] TREY GERRALD: dessert. Yeah, I don't know.

[00:21:11] CHELSEY DONN: I think that 50 percent off is better than a free dessert.

[00:21:15] TREY GERRALD: I would agree. I think it's low on value. I think it's truthful. I think it's low

[00:21:20] CHELSEY DONN: Spelling and grammars is good.

[00:21:23] TREY GERRALD: Yes. Humor. I wasn't really entertained. I was skeeved.

[00:21:28] CHELSEY DONN: I was skeeved.

[00:21:29] TREY GERRALD: no, no, no, no, no. I was entertained. I wasn't humored. I was entertained because this is wild to come

[00:21:34] CHELSEY DONN: This is a weird concept. Yes, agree.

[00:21:38] TREY GERRALD: But what about the impact?

[00:21:39] Would this like prevent you from going to Senior Frogs?

[00:21:42] CHELSEY DONN: I don't think so.

[00:21:44] TREY GERRALD: I don't either. Wait, it's actually really funny. I just realized

[00:21:48] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah,

[00:21:48] TREY GERRALD: Frogs. Which is

[00:21:50] CHELSEY DONN: and it's a snake. I know, I know, I know. Yeah.

[00:21:54] TREY GERRALD: This is interesting.

[00:21:55] CHELSEY DONN: if it was a frog, would that be okay?

[00:21:58] TREY GERRALD: I feel like frogs are more cute and less gross. Certain, certain time. I don't want to touch it.

[00:22:03] I don't

[00:22:03] CHELSEY DONN: Right. It's still slimy, but yeah, definitely better than a snake. That's for sure.

[00:22:09] TREY GERRALD: So much to think about, but before we crown Chelsey.

[00:22:13] CHELSEY DONN: Yes.

[00:22:14] TREY GERRALD: we Mexican hat dance on over to our game break?

[00:22:18] CHELSEY DONN: Let's do it.

[00:22:25] TREY GERRALD: Chelsey and listeners, I have prepared a never before, well, I guess this, actually, you guys, this is an existing before, because today, we're gonna do a little twist on, I don't know if you've ever heard of this show, it's called The Price is Right. Chelsey, today you and I are gonna be playing, Is It? Pay So?

[00:22:45] CHELSEY DONN: Yes.

[00:22:46] TREY GERRALD: It? Pay No? Alright, basically, I'm gonna, I have ten ingredients for a Mexican fiesta, and I need you to guess the price, without going over,

[00:22:59] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:23:01] TREY GERRALD: since we've talked so much about Trader Joe's, I didn't want to do Trader Joe's, but I did pick a Californian supermarket,

[00:23:08] CHELSEY DONN: Okay,

[00:23:08] TREY GERRALD: I was halfway through, I was like, I bet this bitch intentionally never goes to Yvonne's, Vons is like gross, right?

[00:23:15] It's like an Acme, it's

[00:23:16] CHELSEY DONN: no, Vons isn't gross, I mean, I've gone to Vons, Vons, Ralphs,

[00:23:22] TREY GERRALD: Ralph's, but,

[00:23:24] CHELSEY DONN: that's an important distinction, this is Vons,

[00:23:26] TREY GERRALD: so this is Vons, this is the location on

[00:23:28] CHELSEY DONN: okay,

[00:23:29] TREY GERRALD: and, um, all right,

[00:23:31] CHELSEY DONN: oh, I know that Vons,

[00:23:32] TREY GERRALD: so I'm going to tell you ten items. I do have a final bonus round that is worth ten points, so it could sway the

[00:23:40] CHELSEY DONN: okay, wow, okay,

[00:23:42] TREY GERRALD: Are you ready to play pay so or pay no?

[00:23:46] CHELSEY DONN: yes, wait, so I'm the only one guessing, so I can't do 1,

[00:23:49] TREY GERRALD: No, because, because that would just not, that would, we wouldn't have the spirit of fun. I want you to try to

[00:23:54] CHELSEY DONN: okay, so the only thing is I'm trying to guess as close as possible without going over, okay,

[00:24:00] TREY GERRALD: Like, I feel like this might end up just being like, you could just be really strategic and win the whole game, but like, we'll just have fun, we're drinking tequila and it's fun. Should we say within 50 cents?

[00:24:11] CHELSEY DONN: okay, within 50 seconds,

[00:24:12] TREY GERRALD: gonna be so much math?

[00:24:14] CHELSEY DONN: within a, well, because it can't be within a dollar,

[00:24:16] TREY GERRALD: we say within a quarter?

[00:24:18] CHELSEY DONN: Within a quarter.

[00:24:19] TREY GERRALD: Let's say within 25 cents without going over.

[00:24:21] Oh wait, I also have a pre game here. So this woman website named com has created a Cinco de Mayo game called What's Your Taco Name? So Chelsey,

[00:24:32] CHELSEY DONN: Oh

[00:24:33] TREY GERRALD: tell me the last letter of your name.

[00:24:37] CHELSEY DONN: Why? Last letter of my name. Why?

[00:24:38] TREY GERRALD: So she is collected all these like words. So Y is rolled. Okay.

[00:24:44] CHELSEY DONN: Rolled. Okay.

[00:24:46] TREY GERRALD: your birth month.

[00:24:47] CHELSEY DONN: June.

[00:24:48] TREY GERRALD: Talk aholic now.

[00:24:50] Say

[00:24:51] CHELSEY DONN: Mm hmm.

[00:24:52] TREY GERRALD: name out loud

[00:24:53] CHELSEY DONN: tacoholic.

[00:24:55] TREY GERRALD: work Raha. Mine is also rolled and my month is

[00:25:02] CHELSEY DONN: right. We both have Y. Right. Oh

[00:25:05] TREY GERRALD: churro. Chenga.

[00:25:07] CHELSEY DONN: my god, we go together so well. We're like dinner and dessert. Look at us. Love churro.

[00:25:15] TREY GERRALD: talk aholic. Are you ready?

[00:25:17] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my God, yes.

[00:25:18] TREY GERRALD: so Chelsey, I need you to tell me without going over and within 25 cents at the Vons on South Fairfax currently. What is the cost of a bag of Tostitos tortilla chips scoops for a 10 ounce bag?

[00:25:39] CHELSEY DONN: Ooh. 3 75. Oh no.

[00:25:45] TREY GERRALD: Alright, so unfortunately, it is 5. 99.

[00:25:48] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my. That's a lot. 10 ounce.

[00:25:50] TREY GERRALD: I would be so bad at this game because I don't know the price of anything.

[00:25:53] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:25:54] TREY GERRALD: so, Chelsey,

[00:25:56] CHELSEY DONN: Yes.

[00:25:56] TREY GERRALD: going over and within 25 cents, is the price of Daisy Sour Cream? For an 8 ounce

[00:26:06] CHELSEY DONN: Only Jeezy sour cream will do. How? Wait, what? How big is the tub?

[00:26:15] TREY GERRALD: 8 ounces?

[00:26:16] CHELSEY DONN: How big? Eight ounce top 1 0 9 90 9 cents.

[00:26:22] TREY GERRALD: No, it's actually, um, 2.

[00:26:24] CHELSEY DONN: What the hell for daisies?

[00:26:27] TREY GERRALD: dollop of daisies.

[00:26:29] CHELSEY DONN: God, these prices have really gone up.

[00:26:32] TREY GERRALD: Alright,

[00:26:33] CHELSEY DONN: Alright. Yep.

[00:26:36] TREY GERRALD: cents, at the Vons in South Fairfax, What is the price for Pace Mild Salsa Pico de Gallo, a 16 ounce jar?

[00:26:51] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. I'm going to say 4. 29. He's doing math. He's doing math.

[00:26:57] TREY GERRALD: It's, it's so close, I really want to give it to you.

[00:27:01] CHELSEY DONN: I feel like I should get it.

[00:27:03] TREY GERRALD: 4. 79.

[00:27:05] CHELSEY DONN: I get that. Let's say within 50 cents.

[00:27:07] TREY GERRALD: we can't change the

[00:27:08] CHELSEY DONN: Can we, well, I wasn't within 50 cents of any of the others. I just feel like 25 cents is too hard. Can we just,

[00:27:15] TREY GERRALD: what do you think? Should we be loose and free? Should we all have a shot? Some salt? Some lime? Let's change the rules! It's a fiesta! Okay, so Chelsey gets that right.

[00:27:24] CHELSEY DONN: okay. 50 cents. And price is right rules. I got it right on the mark.

[00:27:30] TREY GERRALD: You did. Chelsey, without going over, and within 50 cents,

[00:27:35] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:27:35] TREY GERRALD: the cost of a can of signature select, diced, jalapeno peppers, that little 4 ounce can?

[00:27:45] CHELSEY DONN: I'm going to say 99 cents. Woo.

[00:27:54] TREY GERRALD: it's 1. 29.

[00:27:55] CHELSEY DONN: Great. Yeah. This 50 cents rule is much easier.

[00:27:58] TREY GERRALD: Mm hmm. Now I'm regretting it. Okay.

[00:28:01] CHELSEY DONN: Babe, no, that was still a really good guess.

[00:28:04] TREY GERRALD: want you to win. I want you to win.

[00:28:06] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:28:07] TREY GERRALD: Okay, Chelsey, you're tied. So, what is the cost of Old El Paso, 12 count, taco crunchy shells, 4. 6 bucks?

[00:28:24] CHELSEY DONN: I'm gonna say 602.

[00:28:27] TREY GERRALD: Cheaper, 3.

[00:28:29] CHELSEY DONN: Cheaper. Okay. All right. All right. I'm pretty good actually.

[00:28:34] TREY GERRALD: alright, this is my favorite one on the list, you ready?

[00:28:36] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. 4. 39.

[00:28:44] TREY GERRALD: Whiz Cheese Dip 15 ounce sized jar?

[00:28:56] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, no.

[00:28:58] TREY GERRALD: very interesting, right? Because it's the same size jar as the Pei salsa, but this is

[00:29:02] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah.

[00:29:04] TREY GERRALD: and girl,

[00:29:04] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, wow.

[00:29:05] TREY GERRALD: image on Vaughn's website is so fucking disgusting looking, and it was the most expensive of all the brands,

[00:29:12] CHELSEY DONN: Wow. Interesting for, what did we say? Radioactive cheese. Yeah.

[00:29:18] TREY GERRALD: Alright, we have four more. Are you ready?

[00:29:19] CHELSEY DONN: Okay,

[00:29:20] TREY GERRALD: Alright, Chelsey, I know that you're gonna do this because I know you've done this before. So,

[00:29:24] CHELSEY DONN: okay,

[00:29:25] TREY GERRALD: is the price for a 40 ounce bag, 17 count of Mission Brand Soft Taco Flour Tortillas?

[00:29:38] CHELSEY DONN: oh no,

[00:29:39] TREY GERRALD: 17 of them in

[00:29:40] CHELSEY DONN: how do you, how do you know that I've done this?

[00:29:42] TREY GERRALD: Do you not ever have a taco night?

[00:29:44] CHELSEY DONN: I do, but I don't, I don't know if I have mission, no, I usually buy Siete like brain free, all right, let's think about this,

[00:29:52] TREY GERRALD: crunchy?

[00:29:53] CHELSEY DONN: I like soft, I like soft, all right, mission, 100%, mission, Ay yi yi. All right, let's say 6. 09.

[00:30:03] VOICEOVER: Queen, One Star Zinger, crowns, inducting, Queen,

[00:30:14] CHELSEY DONN: the right amount? I know. All right, not doing great. Okay,

[00:30:19] TREY GERRALD: Also remember, you have that last

[00:30:21] VOICEOVER: inducting, The

[00:30:24] TREY GERRALD: Okay, for the McCormick brand, 30 percent less sodium, one ounce packet of taco seasoning mix. What is the cost?

[00:30:37] CHELSEY DONN: I'm gonna say 0. 99. What? 0.

[00:30:43] TREY GERRALD: All of the other brands like Old El Paso, Pace, they were all 1, but for some

[00:30:49] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. Boosh.

[00:30:51] TREY GERRALD: less sodium was 2. I

[00:30:55] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:30:56] TREY GERRALD: okay, Chelsey, I'm sure you've purchased this,

[00:30:59] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:30:59] TREY GERRALD: Tillamook Farms,

[00:31:01] CHELSEY DONN: Ooh, I love Tillamook.

[00:31:03] TREY GERRALD: sharp cheddar, shredded, an 8 ounce bag, how much is that going for at your local Vons,

[00:31:11] CHELSEY DONN: Ooh, I love Tillamook. I'm trying to think. Ooh, I kind of want to say 609 again.

[00:31:18] TREY GERRALD: fuck, fuck, it's so close, Chelsey,

[00:31:21] CHELSEY DONN: That's okay.

[00:31:23] TREY GERRALD: it's 5.

[00:31:25] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, yeah. I do love a good Tillamook. It's the best.

[00:31:29] TREY GERRALD: close, alright, here we go, this is the final, you know, you can't have a Mexican night without, Herdez Mild Guacamole, now this is a 15 ounce tub.

[00:31:43] CHELSEY DONN: I'm gonna say 8.

[00:31:48] TREY GERRALD: It's 8.

[00:31:48] CHELSEY DONN: Try. Oh my god, okay. This is a hard game. I feel like I would have won on Price is Right with some of these, not gonna lie.

[00:31:57] TREY GERRALD: really? I don't know, I don't really know those rules, but I thought this would be fun, because I know you cook, so I thought you would be good, like, I would literally be like, I don't know, 2? Like, I

[00:32:06] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, I feel like I'm proud that I'm getting within the wheelhouse, but I'm still not winning.

[00:32:10] TREY GERRALD: okay, so, but here we go, so, in honor of Cinco de Mayo, Chelsey, we're leaving Vons, we're driving down the street, we're going to Party City, I need you to tell

[00:32:18] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, okay. Is this the bonus?

[00:32:20] TREY GERRALD: is the bonus, it's worth 10 points,

[00:32:22] CHELSEY DONN: Okay,

[00:32:22] TREY GERRALD: We'll make it worth

[00:32:23] CHELSEY DONN: I'm getting a piñata.

[00:32:24] TREY GERRALD: So if you can win this, you can win the game, okay?

[00:32:27] CHELSEY DONN: Oh god, okay, no pressure.

[00:32:30] TREY GERRALD: 75 inch by 9. 75 inch Taco Piñata at Party City.

[00:32:36] CHELSEY DONN: It's empty?

[00:32:37] TREY GERRALD: It's empty and I need

[00:32:39] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:32:39] TREY GERRALD: to tell me without going over, but within $1, how much is Party City charging you for this Taco Pinata at Party City?

[00:32:47] CHELSEY DONN: god, 21 inches. Okay, I wrote down, this could be wrong, I wrote down 1675.

[00:32:55] TREY GERRALD: Is that your answer?

[00:32:56] CHELSEY DONN: I wanted to maybe change it to 18.

[00:32:58] TREY GERRALD: Is that your final answer?

[00:33:00] CHELSEY DONN: It's 21 inches. Oh, goodness.

[00:33:03] TREY GERRALD: It's my hat.

[00:33:04] CHELSEY DONN: It's your hat. I'll say 16. I'll stick with 1675. Should I have said 18?

[00:33:11] TREY GERRALD: $25 even.

[00:33:14] CHELSEY DONN: a lot.

[00:33:15] TREY GERRALD: Isn't that a fuck load of money. And you gotta fi you gotta buy those dumb dumbs on your

[00:33:18] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, it's empty. It's an empty shell. All right. I lost the game.

[00:33:22] TREY GERRALD: like I let us astray 'cause I, I really like thought you would win this.

[00:33:26] CHELSEY DONN: That's okay, Trey. Listen, I don't have to win every game. Listeners, question is, did you get closer than I did with these guesses? Were you surprised at the prices? Or did you just swim right by and win the whole, the showdown? Did you make it to the showdown? Let us know. 1 850 REVIEW ZERO. Olay! That was fun.

[00:34:02] TREY GERRALD: that's the sound

[00:34:03] CHELSEY DONN: All right, we are back from that losing, upsetting, loss, game break, but let's saltar into these crownings, shall we?

[00:34:15] TREY GERRALD: yeah, let's crown Pamela,

[00:34:16] CHELSEY DONN: I think I can crown Pamela. Let's do it.

[00:34:18] TREY GERRALD: so Chelsey and I each have our own set of 0 5 crown cards, and in an effort to be fair and not influenced by one another's rating, we will simultaneously reveal our ratings.

[00:34:28] VOICEOVER: Queens are tabulating, Queen, One Star Zinger, crowns, inducting, Time for school!

[00:34:34] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, I'm holding up one and a half crowns, Trey's holding up one crown. Trey, you go first. Why one crown for Pamela?

[00:34:41] TREY GERRALD: You know, it's interesting, because I do find it entertaining, I think it's like, shocking to see, but I, when I'm considering the fact that this is a restaurant, for fun where they make balloon animal hats and it's like you're gonna fucking waste it and it's like delicious mexican food and their whole vibe is like we're fun fiesta it is sort of like well maybe a guy with a snake would be there if you're like on vacation in myrtle beach and it's like people are wasted they're in sandals

[00:35:06] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my

[00:35:23] TREY GERRALD: I mean, I personally think allowing the snake is probably not the best move, even if he's a local and like Pamela's a tourist, I don't know the situation, but like, it just seems like they did offer a lot of things to try to make their experience better.

[00:35:37] While honoring both guests to be in the vicinity. So I don't agree that like management should come down on them. And I want to go there and I want you to come with me. And I want to wear this taco hat and I want us to get

[00:35:49] CHELSEY DONN: god,

[00:35:50] TREY GERRALD: on,

[00:35:51] CHELSEY DONN: let's do it.

[00:35:55] TREY GERRALD: if I see the guy with the snake, I'm going to be like, Oh my God, I read a review about you.

[00:35:59] Please get the fuck away from me. Why did you do a half crown more with one and a half?

[00:36:03] CHELSEY DONN: I don't know, honestly, I was like thinking while you were talking, like, is there a real, real reasoning? I think maybe just because I do think that it's always interesting to me when somebody like Pamela really shows their hand, like, I don't know if they intended on doing so. There was enough information here to let the reader come to their own conclusion, which I sort of appreciate.

[00:36:25] I don't think that this is hard. Hurting the restaurant necessarily as a one star. There are a lot of people that might read this review and like we said be like, okay, Well, that's not bad. And that's really no skin against the senior frogs. You know, um, experience, like you said, let's go, let's do it. I'm down.

[00:36:44] So I think for that reason, I went with one and a half. It wasn't just like a ranty, scathing, meaningless review. There was honesty in there, which I appreciated. So that was why I did one and a half. But like you said, this doesn't have anything to do with the restaurant. And there are definitely people that would be cool with this.

[00:37:00] I am mortified of the snake and I see, I see you, Pamela. I would also be just running for the hills. Bye. One and a half crowns.

[00:37:09] TREY GERRALD: Heard that.

[00:37:11] CHELSEY DONN: Ugh, no. Oh, God. It's like my biggest fear, for sure. Yeah, I'll tell a story about it on Patreon, but my biggest fear, for sure. But it's your turn, Trey. We got to hear that flip side of the story.

[00:37:25] So are you ready? Do

[00:37:29] TREY GERRALD: I am going to be sharing the five star, and I have an entertaining one. This is written, actually, this is reminding me of, of previous verses. This is someone named S. C. Traveler. 2010, they have 168 contributions, and their subject,

[00:37:46] CHELSEY DONN: they have a blog?

[00:37:48] TREY GERRALD: I'm assuming, they don't have copyright watermarks images, unfortunately, but,

[00:37:54] CHELSEY DONN: Whoa,

[00:37:54] TREY GERRALD: 2019, and their subject is, a party place that happens to sell food,

[00:38:02] CHELSEY DONN: whoa, all right, I can't wait to hear it at

[00:38:06] TREY GERRALD: to hear the flip side, you gotta go and join our Patreon, you can do that where?

[00:38:10] CHELSEY DONN: review that review. com slash patreon Yay,

[00:38:15] TREY GERRALD: we did it, Queens. That was another round on the R U A R Q Ferris Wheel of La Cucaracha. Me

[00:38:22] CHELSEY DONN: want a margarita now. Thank you for joining us today. If you like what you heard, please tell una amiga

[00:38:31] TREY GERRALD: tu no te gusta,

[00:38:34] CHELSEY DONN: look it up.

[00:38:35] TREY GERRALD: uh, I don't know how to say what you heard. Look, if you didn't like what you heard, then I need you to go tell a no amiga, si?

[00:38:42] CHELSEY DONN: Enamiga, enamiga,

[00:38:44] TREY GERRALD: An enemiga, si? On this week's After Show pod, we are both taking a spin on that Meryl Go Round, as well as rating and reviewing that opposite end of the spectrum review from SC Traveler 2010, and not to be confused by another reviewer named SC Traveler 2012, but we'll get into that on the After Show.

[00:39:03] CHELSEY DONN: or maybe to be confused

[00:39:05] TREY GERRALD: See,

[00:39:06] CHELSEY DONN: I wonder why This was said Having been a bartender also for Broadway shows,

[00:39:14] TREY GERRALD: did not make Irish car bombs at Mary Poppins.

[00:39:19] CHELSEY DONN: Some people really needed those drinks when they were seeing Mary Poppins, you know, like,

[00:39:24] TREY GERRALD: with their kids.

[00:39:24] CHELSEY DONN: yeah, like, I gotta get through this. Interesante.

[00:39:36] TREY GERRALD: In the meantime, please remember,

[00:39:38] CHELSEY DONN: Ignore the enemigas, you're a queen!

[00:39:43] TREY GERRALD: nonspecific, Queen. We love you all,

[00:39:45] CHELSEY DONN: you, goodbye, adios, hasta luego, muah, ahora,

[00:39:54] VOICEOVER: up directly on Apple Podcast to hear our weekly members only after show. Unlock additional benefits when you become a Patreon slash patreon. Follow us on all the socials at the review queens and join our mailing Our kvetch line is open 24 7 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.

[00:40:12] You never visit, you never write. Give us a call now.

[00:40:18] TREY GERRALD: ahora,

[00:40:20] CHELSEY DONN: hoy,

[00:40:21] TREY GERRALD: I really am like feeling like my game killed the energy, I'm sorry, are you upset?,

[00:40:25] CHELSEY DONN: Kareem did not kill, not at all, I'm not at all upset, that was fun, I always wondered how I would do on Price is Right, and I feel like I now know the answer, so,

[00:40:36] TREY GERRALD: not at all, I thought it would be interesting to do like a different kind of a game,

[00:40:40] CHELSEY DONN: I loved it Trey, it was fabulous, don't doubt yourself. Don't die. Listen, I don't always have to win. It's okay. I still had a good time.

[00:40:49] TREY GERRALD: listeners, please call in and let us know how that landed for you, because

[00:40:53] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, I do kind of want to do a taco night and I sort of want a margarita, like I think I need to like figure that out for tonight, but other than that, I mean, that was fun. I enjoyed it.

[00:41:04] TREY GERRALD: for the after show and see if you're hungover or not, because if you aren't, then you must have used our sponsor, SmartPatches.

[00:41:11] CHELSEY DONN: That's right. Gotta love those smart patches. What a lifesaver. Bye!

[00:41:17] TREY GERRALD: ciao.

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.



bottom of page