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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 44: "Wedding Dresses 1 vs 5 Stars"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 44: "Wedding Dresses 1 vs 5 Stars"


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hello

[00:00:32] Trey Gerrald: hi there, Chelsey and Hello listeners. Welcome to Review That. Review the podcast dedicated to reviewing

[00:00:39] Chelsey Donn: reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic, masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:51] Trey Gerrald: that's Chelsey Donn

[00:00:52] Chelsey Donn: And that's Trey Gerrald.

[00:00:54] Trey Gerrald: and

[00:00:54] Trey Gerrald: together, we

[00:00:55] Trey Gerrald: are...

[00:00:55] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens!

[00:00:59] Trey Gerrald: If you want to support our show while getting bonus and exclusive content simultaneously, including our members only after show podcast. Go ahead and visit our patreon Page at

[00:01:14] Trey Gerrald: Chelsey. How are ya?

[00:01:17] Chelsey Donn: I am good. I'm burning the candle on all of the ends and you know, but it's good. I'm so happy. I'm always happy to be here with you. Try. This is like the cherry on top of every day. I mean that

[00:01:28] Trey Gerrald: San Tino's cherries.

[00:01:33] Chelsey Donn: not cherries of fire. Cherry is like a delicious sundae with a cherry on top.

[00:01:40] Trey Gerrald: Yes. I enjoy being here as well. And we enjoy all of you for joining us.

[00:01:45] Lodge A Complaint!

[00:01:45] Trey Gerrald: Chelsey, is there any, um, anything that is like ruffling your feathers at the moment that you aren't enjoying? Tell us, is there something that you would like to.

[00:01:53] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint.

[00:01:55] Trey Gerrald: About,

[00:01:56] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Listen, I don't know who my beef is with here. Okay. And like it's nature probably and trees you know, when you're walking on the sidewalk and then all of a sudden, one of the like sidewalk pieces, I don't know what we call them is like raised out of nowhere. And you trip. I don't know why it's like, you know, some people like.

[00:02:21] Chelsey Donn: I think like unlucky where if there's gum on the floor, like they're going to be the one that steps in it. Or if there's poop, there's going to be the one that steps in it. Like if, if there is a rise in the sidewalk, when I'm, I am going to be the one that at, and sometimes it's like a greediness, especially in LA, like I don't, I get it.

[00:02:39] Chelsey Donn: I think I might be an earthquake tree root thing, but sometimes it's like, somebody has got to intervene. Why is nobody intervened?

[00:02:49] Trey Gerrald: I think that is like a taxpayer thing. Right? I do know that my actually, I talked about them, uh, on like two episodes ago, my friends that live in Inglewood in LA, one of them.

[00:03:01] Trey Gerrald: works for the city and they like repave potholes and stuff like that. That's like the division of like what your city taxes are going to, but yes, it is very, um, how, how amazing our tree roots.

[00:03:16] Trey Gerrald: They literally can break up cement.

[00:03:18] Chelsey Donn: I know, like we need the trees. I love the tree. It's like, listen, I don't think it's the tree's fault. I think it's our fault. You know, like somebody should take care of the trees. The trees are just there being trees, providing oxygen, doing their thing. You know, we're the ones that have to take care of them and take care of the streets so that people like me don't trip every fourth step.

[00:03:43] Trey Gerrald: That is like a funny thing, especially in Manhattan, like the constant awareness that you sort of have vibrating at like a level one without recognizing like the cement you're walking upon as not going to be even like, it is just sort of always rumbling underneath, like be mindful of this.

[00:04:00] Chelsey Donn: yeah, what's your complaint? Try lay it on us.

[00:04:03] Trey Gerrald: Well, I had one written down and then literally minutes before we started recording this other thing happened to me that I'm going to do instead, I needed to lodge a complaint against knocking anything over that has liquid in it. And it spills out.

[00:04:19] Trey Gerrald: humiliating and embarrassing. When you knock over a cup at a restaurant and then like everyone turns and looks and it's like, no, one's going to die from the mess that's just been made.

[00:04:28] Trey Gerrald: But it's very humiliating. It's like being dumb. Like suddenly everyone looks at you and like gives you that little look like, oh, you idiot. Like. But it just happened to me on my desk because I have this very expensive Reed diffuser that I forgot about. This is from my favorite apothecary and cold spring, New York.

[00:04:46] Trey Gerrald: I just opened it yesterday throughout the week. I store my microphone behind my monitor. So I was wheeling it around and I have knocked over my cup of water multiple times. So I knew to hold my water. So my water wouldn't spill, but what didn't, you know.

[00:05:02] Trey Gerrald: this new Reed diffuser literally fell over.

[00:05:04] Chelsey Donn: Ah,

[00:05:05] Trey Gerrald: That's probably was $40

[00:05:07] Chelsey Donn: Oh, no.

[00:05:08] Trey Gerrald: wasted literally one quarter of that.

[00:05:11] Chelsey Donn: Oh no. Oh, that's the worst.

[00:05:15] Trey Gerrald: and it's really the worst.

[00:05:16] Trey Gerrald: because there's no one to blame, but me, but oh, I just hate

[00:05:20] Chelsey Donn: I'm sure we can find someone else to blame, um,

[00:05:25] Trey Gerrald: I need to know for my mental health. Oh, I hate you gravity.

[00:05:29] Chelsey Donn: yeah. It's gravity's fault.

[00:05:31] Trey Gerrald: I think it's Murphy again.

[00:05:33] Chelsey Donn: It could be Murphy.

[00:05:34] Trey Gerrald: Murphy's law. How dare you?

[00:05:35] Chelsey Donn: So does the room smell nice at least, you know, because of whatever spilled out.

[00:05:40] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, I mean, that's my hope is that it's going to saturate the wood Of my desk and it'll smell really nice for a while, but you know, it's concentrated. So has a harder stench than it when it just diffuses through the reeds. So it

[00:05:55] Chelsey Donn: Right. It's not as

[00:05:56] Trey Gerrald: little metallic right now, like,

[00:05:58] Chelsey Donn: Uh,

[00:05:58] Trey Gerrald: yeah, but

[00:05:59] Chelsey Donn: I hate that that sucks. That's so upsetting. I hate whenever I smell anything over at all, I was watching an episode of curb and it sort of reminds me of that because I feel like as you get older, you know, like if you knock something over.

[00:06:16] Chelsey Donn: Everybody's looking at you, like you're like senile or something, like what's wrong with that person. Cause they knocked everything over and it is interesting. Cause it's like, if you're young and you knock something over your slim muscle, you know, if you're old and you knock something over senile you're Shamiel

[00:06:33] Trey Gerrald: you know what? I'm referencing

[00:06:35] Chelsey Donn: she'll meal.