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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 51: "Cards Against Humanity / Hollywood Blvd"



Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 51: "Cards Against Humanity / Hollywood Blvd"

Transcription


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!


THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!


[00:00:31] Chelsey Donn: Oh,

[00:00:33] Trey Gerrald: Hi listeners. Welcome to Review That Review. You are listening to the podcast dedicated to reviewing

[00:00:41] Chelsey Donn: Reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:54] Trey Gerrald: that is Chelsey Donn.

[00:00:56] Chelsey Donn: And that is Trey Gerrald.

[00:00:58] Trey Gerrald: And us together are

[00:01:01] VOICEOVER: Review Queen.

[00:01:05] Trey Gerrald: To support our show while getting bonus exclusive content, including our award-winning members only after show podcast, Join our Patreon at Patreon.com slash Review That Review Asterik awards to be decided in the future. How are you Chelsey?

[00:01:26] Chelsey Donn: I was going to say so many awards, all already won. It's hard to even know which one we're referencing, know?

[00:01:33] Chelsey Donn: Right. My week was good. Goldie got spade. Shout out to Bob Barker, doing our part to control the animal population. Yeah. She handled it very well.

[00:01:47] Trey Gerrald: How was that experience for you?

[00:01:49] Chelsey Donn: For me, it was very emotional, you know, for babies, like first surgery, but for her she's great.

[00:01:55] Chelsey Donn: Like she's thank goodness. Not going to all the woods. She bounced back very well. And she's back to driving me insane as usual. So all good there. How's your week going?

[00:02:06] Trey Gerrald: I'm having a good week. You know, my life is becoming very

[00:02:09] Chelsey Donn: Yes.

[00:02:11] Trey Gerrald: different kinds of cars. Cause I'm going to pull the plug the end of this month. I'm going to try to get. Into the Memorial day savings extravaganza. And

[00:02:23] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Fair.

[00:02:25] Trey Gerrald: using all this time to save money And get ready

[00:02:29] Chelsey Donn: you've had a little distance from the CRI

[00:02:31] Trey Gerrald: from that cry.

[00:02:32] Trey Gerrald: And I've, I've decided to choose a different brand

[00:02:34] Chelsey Donn: start. Fresh start fresh it's yeah, there's gotta be an eclipse or a full moon or something coming

[00:02:41] Chelsey Donn: up. So.

[00:02:41] Trey Gerrald: part of me that feels like I can't choose that brand. And that car I wanted originally, like someone has to

[00:02:48] Chelsey Donn: It's

[00:02:49] Trey Gerrald: has to be punished other than

[00:02:50] Chelsey Donn: someone needs be held accountable. Might as well be the car company. I listen, I approve. I think you should always shop around there's. There's always lots of options out there and I'm proud of you for willingly putting yourself back out there after I don't want to take credit for this, but after coming on the show and lodging it as a complaint, getting it off your chest and having some distance from it, look at the new person you've emerged as I'm proud.

[00:03:20] Trey Gerrald: you. And I

[00:03:21] Trey Gerrald: I actually received that with true sincerity, even though I know it is sincere and Winky because it's comedy,

[00:03:26] Chelsey Donn: Yes, but it's true.

[00:03:29] Trey Gerrald: like, you know, what, it's part of life growing pains.

[00:03:33] Chelsey Donn: Growing pans. Yeah. Speaking of growing pans, do you have a complaint that you want to launch this week?

[00:03:39] Trey Gerrald: I do.

[00:03:40] Lodge A Complaint

[00:03:40] Trey Gerrald: This week. I really need to

[00:03:42] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint.

[00:03:43] Trey Gerrald: against a phenomenon that has occurred to me many times. I don't know if occurred to you, but you pick up your cup of your drink. You take us up. How, what, because you thought it was Sprite, but it's actually water

[00:04:01] Chelsey Donn: yeah.

[00:04:02] Trey Gerrald: iced tea, it's actually co.

[00:04:05] Chelsey Donn: Um,

[00:04:05] Trey Gerrald: That sensation where you feel like, you know, the taste palette that is about to go into your

[00:04:11] Chelsey Donn: surprise attack.

[00:04:13] Trey Gerrald: in actuality It's something completely different. Has that ever happened to you?

[00:04:16] Chelsey Donn: It's definitely happened. It's extremely jarring.

[00:04:20] Chelsey Donn: It's like, it's very disoriented because it's like your brain in preparation for whatever it is that you're about to experience, whether it be food or beverage is like preparing itself for that response. So when that response is matte with something, you know, just different than the anticipated, A'.

[00:04:41] Chelsey Donn: very jarring.

[00:04:42] Trey Gerrald: It is a moment of like reality those times that I've had this moment, I really am. So off-kilter, it really throws me off.

[00:04:54] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:04:54] Trey Gerrald: I aim to do with all of my acting.

[00:04:59] Chelsey Donn: Um, really like take them down a road and let them expect something. And then just flip the script.

[00:05:07] Trey Gerrald: That's why I only accept roles that are titled gay man, so that when they look at me, they're not expecting to be getting gay, man. So as soon as I speak, they're just really thrown off because I'm so straight.

[00:05:22] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:05:23] Chelsey Donn: Well this much me now.

[00:05:25] Trey Gerrald: So that's my complaint. If anyone else has been there, call in and tell us about it. Were you at your rehearsal dinner with your in-laws that you don't like?

[00:05:32] Trey Gerrald: Like, tell me what's the backstory. Chelsey, what would you like to lodge a complaint against today?

[00:05:38] Chelsey Donn: Thank you for asking Trey. I have beef. I got beef. I do. I have beef with loud doors. And when I say loud doors, what I mean is

[00:05:49] Trey Gerrald: slamming.

[00:05:50] Chelsey Donn: yeah, but like, you know how doors have the capacity to have that? Like slow, soft, close.

[00:06:00] Chelsey Donn: should have a slow close, because some doors, especially heavy doors, they really leave a slam.

[00:06:09] Chelsey Donn: And I find, you know, that can kind of speak for you in a way that's really not analogous with your mood. Like. If you're talking to somebody and then you're like, bye, see you later. And then you go out the door and it slams behind you. And you didn't know that it was allowed door that could leave the person saying what a rude bitch, why wouldn't she do a soft close?

[00:06:35] Chelsey Donn: And I just think it's jarring. I have a lot of anxiety. I don't know if the door people are trying to kill me. All doors should be soft, closing doors and enough. I mean, have you ever been shucking up by allowed door that you weren't expecting?

[00:06:51] Trey Gerrald: I have been a person that has had to open the door back and be like, I'm so sorry. I didn't know.

[00:06:55] Chelsey Donn: Yeah,

[00:06:56] Trey Gerrald: I am that person,

[00:06:57] Chelsey Donn: me too,

[00:06:58] Trey Gerrald: my first thought about the slow close, obviously kitchen cabinet. It's like, that's such a

[00:07:02] Chelsey Donn: right.

[00:07:02] Trey Gerrald: invention,

[00:07:03] Chelsey Donn: Oh, the best.

[00:07:04] Trey Gerrald: my brain immediately goes to scream.

[00:07:06] Trey Gerrald: And if real doors were soft, close, and you were being chased by the killer, and dislike that, that would be a really funny

[00:07:13] Chelsey Donn: That would actually be funny for a scary movie, 11,