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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 52: "ONE YEAR SPECIAL: Repeat Offenders"



Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 52: "ONE YEAR SPECIAL: Repeat Offenders"

Transcription


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!


THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!



[00:00:29] Chelsey Donn: glad you went for it. Cause I wasn't going to go for the note.

[00:00:33] Trey Gerrald: Hello listeners. Welcome to episode 52 of Review That Review the podcast dedicated to reviewing.

[00:00:44] Chelsey Donn: Oh my goodness. I can't believe it. We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic, masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online. Review!.

[00:00:58] Trey Gerrald: That for the 52nd time is Chelsey Donn,

[00:01:01] Chelsey Donn: And that for the 52nd time is Trey Gerrald

[00:01:06] Trey Gerrald: and together for the 52nd time.

[00:01:10] Trey Gerrald: we are.

[00:01:11] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens!

[00:01:15] Trey Gerrald: And if you haven't yet, and you want to support our show while getting bonus and exclusive content, including a member's only after show podcast, where we cover an additional review and tell tidbits to salacious for the main show, then visit our Patreon at Patreon.com slash Review That Review.

[00:01:36] Trey Gerrald: Chelsey. Oh, my goodness. It's episode 52, which means it's been one year since we first. Well, this is none of this is actually true because Chelsey and I did five or did we do four dress rehearsal episodes?

[00:01:50] Chelsey Donn: I think we only did three. then the fourth one, we were like, let's run.

[00:01:56] Trey Gerrald: the fourth one I think was actually episode two. We used it as to do, but we did launch with three episodes.

[00:02:03] Trey Gerrald: So for Chelsey. This marks one year of recording for you listeners. I guess we're two weeks shy. It's so complicated, but we've also done many sides, so it's more than 52 times in actuality.

[00:02:19] Chelsey Donn: I just feel like we declare it exactly a year, because from here on out, we're going to be on schedule right

[00:02:27] Trey Gerrald: right.

[00:02:27] Chelsey Donn: at 1 0 4. That will be two years.

[00:02:30] Trey Gerrald: 1 0 4. Oh my God. That's 52 plus 52.

[00:02:35] Chelsey Donn: Am I right? Okay. I'm just making sure.

[00:02:39] Trey Gerrald: Wow. Chelsey, how has your week been? How has your year

[00:02:44] Chelsey Donn: Oh my goodness. What a year? What my year's been great, you know, coming out of retirement from the pandemic, I guess this podcast like changed my life. I remember the day that you texted me and you said, I want to pick your brain about something. And I was just like, I don't know what Trey wants to pick my brain about.

[00:03:07] Chelsey Donn: I'm like so curious. And they couldn't have possibly imagine that it would be what it is today, this podcast. I just feel so lucky that I get to do this with you every week.

[00:03:20] Trey Gerrald: Oh, my God. So it's in the middle. That's so nice. I mean, It is crazy to think that it's been a year, you know, I, and so much has happened in the year and so much has changed. And so much of my focus in life. Become about this podcast, which I count as such a treasure and such a gift truly. And it is crazy to think.

[00:03:40] Trey Gerrald: I mean, I know that we've talked about this on other podcasts as guests, but, um, I did always want to have a podcast and my original idea. Was not Review That Review. And I pitched it to Chelsey. And literally in that singular conversation, we formulated this idea. We did a bunch of rehearsals and we narrowed and hammered away and chiseled out.

[00:04:04] Trey Gerrald: And it's truly like, this is probably the law. This is the longest partnership I've ever had creatively. And it's such a

[00:04:11] Chelsey Donn: It is such a joy. I have to say, if you're going to work with a partner, I recommend finding someone with like a similar level of OCD,

[00:04:20] Chelsey Donn: you know?

[00:04:21] Trey Gerrald: we hit off. Yes.

[00:04:22] Trey Gerrald: We hit on this a couple of episodes back how we both like things we like to have control. We like to be in control of the outcome. Um, and we definitely do compliment each other and, and various areas of strengths. Oh my God. Look at this. I didn't even think we would go

[00:04:36] Chelsey Donn: I did I can't. I like, I, I like, oh, you know, I feel what's the Yiddish word, the garish word thought, even coming to mind, I'm for clamps. That's it. I was so far clamped. I forgot the word for Clint. I am now it's. I mean, there's nothing else to talk about other than the gratitude of this show and this experience and you listeners for listening in, and everyone that's reached out to tell us that you like what we're doing or that it brightens their day, or it gives you a laugh or.

[00:05:07] Chelsey Donn: Accompanying you to work or whatever it is, just know, like we hear you and we're so, so grateful and we both understand needing levity. And I used to listen to audibles all the time before I got into podcasting. So I understand the need for companionship. That's weird. That's weird. But you know what I mean?

[00:05:26] Trey Gerrald: heard.

[00:05:26] Chelsey Donn: Hurt. Okay. Wow. Should we like get on with the

[00:05:31] Lodge A Complaint!

[00:05:31] Chelsey Donn: show. Should we lodged some complaints? Are we feeling complaint, even though it's like, that's a lot of pressure. This is a 52 show complaint, but do you think you could start us off Trey?

[00:05:41] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. I actually had one written down, but I'm switching up today. I really need to

[00:05:46] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint.

[00:05:47] Trey Gerrald: against expectations.

[00:05:50] Chelsey Donn: Um, okay.

[00:05:51] Trey Gerrald: have we not tackled this

[00:05:53] Chelsey Donn: That is a good one.

[00:05:54] Trey Gerrald: I'm just gonna discuss expectations from the lens that I'm experiencing it currently, because I have really been, there was a certain point when I was like, oh wow.

[00:06:03] Trey Gerrald: We're like in our forties,

[00:06:05] Chelsey Donn: We're not in our forties. Oh, oh God, Trey.

[00:06:08] Trey Gerrald: No. Sorry, the structure of that sentence

[00:06:12] Chelsey Donn: I got a little nervous. I'm like easy, easy

[00:06:15] Trey Gerrald: where no, no, we're not in our forties yet. Um, but we, once we started getting into the. Forties. As far as number of episodes, I started to think like, wow, like we're going to hit a year. Like, this is insane, which I think, I think we both had an understanding of, um, expectation regarding the commitment of what this would be and wanting to.

[00:06:38] Trey Gerrald: Do it, and I never really had a goal for a length of time, et cetera, et cetera. It was really like, how do we keep going? Like every week, you know, but around the forties I started thinking like, Ooh, I have an idea for the cover of this, of the 52nd episode, we can do like very gray scale, like the title of every review in the background.

[00:06:59] Trey Gerrald: So I made that like literally months

[00:07:01] Trey Gerrald: back, um,

[00:07:03] Chelsey Donn: didn't even know you did that.

[00:07:05] Trey Gerrald: but you know, it probably, it probably doesn't even, it doesn't even probably show up, uh, on the podcast players. But anyway, so I've been living into the excitement of what our theme is today and all that. And wouldn't, you know, at two days ago I woke up with like a horrible scratchy throat.

[00:07:22] Trey Gerrald: Like postnasal drip, it's just like the sinuses are terrible. As I was getting ready today, I was thinking like, of course, like my voice feels a little off. I'm like coughing, I'm having to bloom it. I was constantly, and of course it's the 52nd episode, which I've been like really living in. So I was like you know what, I'm going to Lodge A Complaint again, expectations.

[00:07:44] Trey Gerrald: Because even when it isn't a ground breaking expectation that like isn't met and there's an emotional response, just the level of expectation versus reality. And here we are. And the beauty is that if you don't let expectations have power over you, then you can just show up. And I can acknowledge that my throat feels a little bit.

[00:08:04] Trey Gerrald: And I'm still here and we're still celebrating. So I'm lodging a complaint against expectations. And I think we should all just, you know, take it a little easier and be able to be malleable because I think when we aren't malleable, that's when a lot of pain happens. Right.

[00:08:20] Chelsey Donn: Uh, gray, we're always selling sank. Well, first of all, I want to say that your complaint sort of reminds me of, I believe it must have been James because they left a voicemail. Um, it was James and he talked about how he doesn't do new year's resolutions. He does daily

[00:08:35] Trey Gerrald: Oh,

[00:08:37] Chelsey Donn: So I think that that's a really, I, I think about James a lot.

[00:08:40] Chelsey Donn: And that moment when I feel myself, Anticipating something or expecting something, be like, James, it doesn't matter. It's one day at a time

[00:08:50] Trey Gerrald: Yeah,

[00:08:51] Chelsey Donn: it's today. So thank you, James. You're teaching me things

[00:08:55] Trey Gerrald: As Mame once sad it's Today

[00:08:58] Chelsey Donn: is

[00:08:58] Trey Gerrald: So, Chelsey, what is your complaint for our 52nd episode?

[00:09:02] Chelsey Donn: So sort of, sort of in the same vein, my complaint is. Again, it's just negative.

[00:09:10] Chelsey Donn: Self-talk, you know, the things that we say to ourselves that are not true, or the scenarios that we make up in our head. That are completely non analogous with what is actually happening. I hate it. I wish I didn't do it. We all do it. I'm trying to get better. If you have any tips, listeners, let me know 1 8, 5, 0 reviews, zero, but I wish that we could stop doing that.

[00:09:38] Chelsey Donn: I wish I could stop doing that. I know the only reason I'm able to say we in the Royal sense besides the fact that I'm a queen is because I have this conversation all the time with my friends about. would never talk to other people the way that you talk to yourself and why is that? Why do we do that?

[00:09:55] Chelsey Donn: And I always think about that water experiment.

[00:09:59] Trey Gerrald: With the vinegar.

[00:10:00] Chelsey Donn: No, I think there was this water experiment where. There were two glasses of water. And one, you said like, you're a piece of crap. You're the worst or whatever it is. And then the other one you were like, you're beautiful and lovely. And thank you. And I'm so grateful for you, whatever it is.

[00:10:13] Chelsey Donn: And the molecules looked completely different under a microscope, just based on the way that whoever was communicating to the water. So I think we're like, I don't know. We're made up of a lot of water, right? I mean, maybe not me because I don't drink a lot, but you know, So I want to complain against negative self-talk and I want to declare that I'm going to make an effort to be better about it.

[00:10:39] Trey Gerrald: I love that.

[00:10:39] Chelsey Donn: want to say, try anymore. Fuck.

[00:10:42] Trey Gerrald: I do think that is part of it. Like, I mean, I haven't mastered that either, but I think it is a practice. Yeah.

[00:10:50] Chelsey Donn: All right. Well that was lovely and sentimental.

[00:10:54] Trey Gerrald: yeah, it was. And I appreciate that. So from all of this energy, this cauldron of warm and fuzzy, should we jump into some online Review!?

[00:11:01] Chelsey Donn: Oh, my God. I would love that as you know, we are your trustee Review! Queens. We each bring in a review from the internet that we feel needs to be inspected.

[00:11:11] Trey Gerrald: We read you the Review! break it down and rate the impact of the review on a scale from zero to five crowns. It's a very Regal process that we call.

[00:11:21] VOICEOVER: Assess That Kvetch.

[00:11:24] Trey Gerrald: in honor of our 52nd episode, our one year anniversary, Chelsey and I have reached back into our files and have selected a Brand new Review! from a previously heard Review! or.

[00:11:40] Chelsey Donn: That's right. We are each going to share a different Review! from someone we've already featured in an earlier episode, or as we like to call them.

[00:11:51] VOICEOVER: Repeat Offenders.

[00:11:54] Chelsey Donn: Yep.

[00:11:56] Trey Gerrald: And Chelsey girl,

[00:11:57] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:11:58] Trey Gerrald: you are first today on our repeat offenders episode.

[00:12:02] Chelsey Donn: Oh, my goodness. Okay.

[00:12:04] Trey Gerrald: it away. RQ.

[00:12:08] Submarine Review

[00:12:08] VOICEOVER: Review That Review.

[00:12:12] Chelsey Donn: All right. So do you guys remember back in episode 39 when we did the Seattle gumbo?

[00:12:23] Trey Gerrald: Oh my God. Oh my, the Yelp girl.

[00:12:25] Chelsey Donn: The Yelp girl who I wasn't, I was very confused. I didn't know if she worked at yell. What the deal was? Her name was Sarah S well, it still is. Her name is Sarah S so I thought. I got to do a little more research into Sarah ass.

[00:12:42] Chelsey Donn: Cause I was so baffled by this whole idea that did she work for yo? Like what was the business? Did she just consider herself a Yelp employee? Cause she's an elite.

[00:12:53] Trey Gerrald: right. Cause she talked about her boss who was epic at throwing parties.

[00:12:58] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. So I was like very confused by this. So I was like, well, let me do a little digging. So I did a little digging on Sarah S's Yelp profile that states that she is an elite. And you guys, she has written 3048 reviews.

[00:13:19] Trey Gerrald: That's a

[00:13:19] Chelsey Donn: That's a lot of reviews. She has posted. 21,179 photos.

[00:13:30] Trey Gerrald: That is a lot of data on your phone.

[00:13:32] Chelsey Donn: I wonder if you broke that down into time.

[00:13:35] Chelsey Donn: I feel like that's almost a full-time job.

[00:13:38] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. I mean,

[00:13:39] Chelsey Donn: It looks like she's been in elite since 2019, and she's been a reviewer since 2013. So we're talking less than less than 10 years. Over 300 reviews a year. So Sarah S if nothing else. She is definitely putting in the work. So I found another Review! listen, I read through a lot of Sarah SS reviews and I'm going to be honest.

[00:14:06] Chelsey Donn: They were so long. So I found this Review!, that was a more appropriate length. It is for, it is obviously Yelp review for our Yelp elite, Sarah, as it is for the finding Nemo submarine voyage at Disneyland. Okay. It's one star review. This is officially my least favorite ride at Disneyland or Disney world of all time.

[00:14:38] Chelsey Donn: Do you remember being a kid and laying down in the bath under the water goggles on? So you could see the water drifting back and forth over your face. Nimo submarines are like that. Except there are 40 other people in your bath. The goggles are dirty. The unpleasant scent of mold fills the air and there is a fun element of mild claustrophobic panic that you can't seem to shake.

[00:15:11] Chelsey Donn: You might be picturing this ride to have the wistful feeling of old world Disney. Now. The best part is you just waited in line for 45 minutes to experience this anxiety, activating attraction, the least invasive way to enjoy this ride is to walk around it and watch it from above. If I could never ride this one again, I would be totally okay with that and even give a little inner hurrah at the.

[00:15:47] Chelsey Donn: This is a Disneyland ride that needs some serious updating, but for me personally, been there done that. I'm good.

[00:16:04] Trey Gerrald: Ah,

[00:16:05] Chelsey Donn: Hello?

[00:16:07] Trey Gerrald: wait.

[00:16:08] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:16:10] Trey Gerrald: Uh, what is, what is the finding name of submarine voyage? Is it like an actual, like rollercoaster or is it like a, like an aquarium

[00:16:18] Chelsey Donn: I can't say I've ever done this, but what I'm imagining it is, is basically a submarine ride, right? Like I think you go in, it looks like there's a large body of water, like surrounding the ride. And I imagine you get into the submarine with other people and go down into the water and you pretend like you're.

[00:16:41] Chelsey Donn: Dory or an email or whoever your favorite character is and finding the email and you see all your fish friends. I would imagine.

[00:16:49] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, I'm just looking at the Wikipedia. It's very, it is. Yeah, you do go under, I mean, what wait, so, okay. Was Sarah ass expecting, like to have a S an entire submarine to themselves.

[00:17:04] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, I was wondering about Sarah asks. Expectations in general for what the ride was going to be. I understand that it's hard when you're waiting for 45 minutes and you are like, oh, there's a long line. Must be a good ride expectations, right. About what that ride might be like. And clearly this ride was not what Sarah wanted.

[00:17:27] Chelsey Donn: I think maybe she thought like other Disney rides it's usually like, I don't know, four per. Dang, right. Maybe she thought it was not going to be like a big submarine. Maybe she thought it was a bunch of little, four person, 6%, eight person

[00:17:41] Trey Gerrald: Do you know when Sarah wrote this?

[00:17:43] Chelsey Donn: a year ago.

[00:17:44] Trey Gerrald: So it was post pandemic,

[00:17:47] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. So this is like very like recent

[00:17:50] Trey Gerrald: I guess that like culturally. Shifts a little bit for me. I don't know. I think like I have a little bit of bias here because I do think like anytime you're at an amusement park, they're always going to have a huge level of entertainment because some things need to be like G-Force and then some things need to be like very simple.

[00:18:11] Trey Gerrald: And I'm imagining if you're going to look at like an aquarium, like, like a supersize aquarium that you go inside of it. Like, I don't know how exciting that's going to be. I mean, like maybe they have a shark in there or something, but like, you know, I don't know. I just like, you're like looking, it's like a slice of aquarium life.

[00:18:30] Trey Gerrald: So it's interesting like that there was such a high expectation. I understand feeling claustrophobic. There is something really scary about being underwater to me. And I guess like post pandemic, I can hear this complaint about feeling like there's a lot of people around you and that's a little weird you're in closed.

[00:18:47] Trey Gerrald: You're underwater. But for some reason, I'm just sort of perplexed by Sarah S his level of upsetness here. I thought that like rub a dub, dub 40 men in a tub thing is like, kind of funny here. I, I think Sarah was going for comedy there,

[00:19:05] Chelsey Donn: Yes, definitely.

[00:19:06] Trey Gerrald: I do think there is value here, because especially when Sarah casually mentions the smell of mold, I'm already out, like I'm out, I'm

[00:19:15] Chelsey Donn: what I was going to say. I was going to say, like, when we were kind of going down that road of like, are we judging Sarah as for having expectations that are too high, I wanted to make sure that we were like pulling out the pieces that are actually relevant. Like you said, like the, of phobia.

[00:19:33] Chelsey Donn: So the goggles are dirty, I guess that, that means that the glass. That you're looking through to see the fish is dirty, which imagine if you had to be underwater, but you're also cautious phobic. And you're also with a lot of people and the lens is foggy. So you're not even really seeing. The fish anyway, and the unpleasant smell of mold, which I smelled that smell.

[00:19:59] Chelsey Donn: I don't know necessarily at Disney world or land. I don't want to call anybody out, but I've been at like water parks and stuff where you smell that mold. And that is not a pleasant smell.

[00:20:12] Trey Gerrald: it's not reassuring.

[00:20:14] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, but if we are to take her at face value, I think I would be a little bit upset if I waited 45 minutes and smelled mold and I could barely see out the glass

[00:20:27] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. What is Sarah spelling and grammar? Like?

[00:20:31] Chelsey Donn: as per usual with Sarah S very good. A plus.

[00:20:35] Trey Gerrald: I mean, I'm wondering if I think this is common or a fluke. I mean, I, I don't know. I think it's just interesting to be this disappointed. A ride like that is like an aquarium, but I guess, I mean, maybe the feeling cramped, like an enclosed mat, uh, nowadays that's probably, I don't might be a little more common, but I don't know.

[00:20:55] Trey Gerrald: What do you

[00:20:55] Chelsey Donn: I want to add like a little perspective, I guess, to maybe how we should think about this crowning with Sarah S so imagine that you're at Disneyland and you only have a limited number, a limited amount of time. And so you're like Googling the various rides to see like, Is it worth it? Should I do the Nimo ride or should I do a little mermaid?

[00:21:18] Chelsey Donn: And you're deciding between the two, maybe you would go to Yelp for this purpose. I think we really have to remember. And it's something that I often forget when we're reading the reviews is that we are reading the review of this ride. So this Review! is for the people that are looking for opinions about this ride specifically.

[00:21:42] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, that's a good point. I do think Sarah was trying to be funny a little in there, which I appreciate trying to not just be a negative Nancy.

[00:21:50] Chelsey Donn: I think, I feel similarly to how I felt in the gum wall situation, which is, I don't really know why, but I feel like Sarah as is on the more particular side of him.

[00:22:07] Trey Gerrald: Sure.

[00:22:08] Chelsey Donn: I don't know why I get that vibe. I got that vibe the last time. Like, I'm sure the gum wall is gross, but I feel like this person in this setting, it's an even more dramatic experience.

[00:22:20] Chelsey Donn: And that sort of how I'm feeling here with this review is that yeah, I'm sure a lot of these things were true, but I think Sarah S's tolerance for anything on this list might be a little bit shorter. Or less

[00:22:36] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, I definitely,

[00:22:37] Chelsey Donn: Joe.

[00:22:38] Trey Gerrald: I do have a sense that Sarah S has a pension for. Cleanliness.

[00:22:44] Chelsey Donn: Yeah,

[00:22:45] Trey Gerrald: They're not really interested in Jeremy situations, which I think that is sort of valuable. I mean, I had never heard of this ride and now I definitely have a specific opinion about it. So I think there is an impact from.

[00:22:57] Chelsey Donn: yeah,

[00:22:58] Trey Gerrald: I do have a story about who Sarah S is based on these two reviews.

[00:23:01] Trey Gerrald: And I feel like I might kind of share some opinions. I do think like the idea of the gum wall is gross. And I remember vividly Sarah pointing out, but like moist gum and the aroma like that.

[00:23:13] Chelsey Donn: And gagging. I remember her talking about gagging.

[00:23:17] Trey Gerrald: So like,

[00:23:18] Chelsey Donn: She tells a story. I will give her that she tells she paints a picture. She's creative, she's written 3025 reviews. So she's definitely invested and she cares. And her review as well. A lot of them are long. And for some that is. Like Natalie Wise, immediate turnoff, but she is doing this with intention and she cares.

[00:23:44] Chelsey Donn: So I'm going to consider that when I go into my crowning,

[00:23:46] Trey Gerrald: yeah, I would say I'm all right. I think

[00:23:48] Trey Gerrald: I could crown this. How about you?

[00:23:50] Chelsey Donn: I'm ready.

[00:23:51] Trey Gerrald: All right. So Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards in an effort to be fair and not influence one another. We will simultaneously reveal our rating.

[00:24:01] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating.

[00:24:08] Chelsey Donn: All right. Four crowns per crowns. The Queens are unanimous. Okay. Trey, let us know why four crowns for Sarah S and I don't remember what I gave Sarah S last time. I'm curious about that too, but maybe we'll, we'll look it up for after show.

[00:24:23] Trey Gerrald: I honestly, I went with four crowns based on what you said, because if I really put myself in the situation of like, I can only be at this park for One,. I'm going to see which rides are the lowest rated. And, you know, I do think there would be a consideration, especially today about being in an enclosure with a huge number of people and listen to might be good if it's really hot.

[00:24:45] Trey Gerrald: And you're like dizzy, because you did a bunch of roller coasters and like you did that. What's the teacup ride. And you're just like, Oh God I have

[00:24:52] Chelsey Donn: Oh God that I can do the spinning teacups.

[00:24:55] Trey Gerrald: But I do feel like waiting for a very long time in line to sort of have like a negative experience is, is disappointing. And it doesn't feel like it's on brand with Disney.

[00:25:04] Trey Gerrald: And so for that reason, I went with foregrounds. Why did you do foregrounds?

[00:25:08] Chelsey Donn: I am foregrounds because for the most part, I believe Sarah S like I said, I think that, that, that she is a little bit exaggerated, a little bit hyperbolic, a little bit emotional, all of that, but. I also am caught from a similar cloth. So I'm starting to feel like if this is Sarah S's opinion, it's probably going to be mine.

[00:25:31] Chelsey Donn: And so for that reason, I went with four. I thought there might be some people that are not as affected by that. And that was why I took the crown away. But other than that, again, high points for just presentation, story, effort, commitment, point of view, all the things that I really, really like. Interview.

[00:25:53] Chelsey Donn: So I'm, I'm very happy with Sarah S and I decided to go with four crowns. Yeah, that was fun. That was, that was a nice little trip down memory lane. So yes. Thank you. Sarah ass. Let's take a quick break. And when we come back, we can get into our repeat offender reveal.

[00:26:17] VOICEOVER: Repeat offenders.

[00:26:20] Trey Gerrald: It's going to be spicy.

[00:26:22] Chelsey Donn: It is, I have a feeling. It is. Oh, okay. I can't wait.

[00:26:28] VOICEOVER: your crown. We'll be right back.

[00:26:39] 26:40 - Ad

[00:26:39] 26:41 - Meryl Go Round

[00:26:39] Trey Gerrald: It's One-Star-Zinger time. All right, Chelsey. It is now time to take a quick spin on the Merrill. Go round. '

[00:27:04] VOICEOVER: I don't feel like an icon. Most of the days, I feel like

[00:27:13] Chelsey Donn: I tell you with 52 spins around the Meryl-Go-Round. I feel as dizzy as if I were using on the teacup. All right, Trey and I have each picked a rotten scathing, pithy One-Star-Zinger and with 30 seconds on the clock. Well, each try to recite hours, zinger in as many genres as possible

[00:27:38] Trey Gerrald: Just like queen marrow, who does it all

[00:27:40] Chelsey Donn: before the clock runs out.

[00:27:42] Chelsey Donn: All right, Trey, tell us what's your One-Star-Zinger for today?

[00:27:47] Trey Gerrald: today?

[00:27:47] Trey Gerrald: I have a one-star review from staples.com for eight and a half by 11 and copy paper, 20 pounds, 5,000 sheets per card. Parentheses 3, 2, 4, 7, 9 1, and parentheses.

[00:28:06] VOICEOVER: Supercalifragilistic XB.

[00:28:09] Trey Gerrald: And I picked this review because paper is the one-year anniversary gift and this,

[00:28:16] Chelsey Donn: Oh, okay. All that sweets.

[00:28:20] Trey Gerrald: review is written by M S a for period.

[00:28:25] Chelsey Donn: And then say for period. Okay.

[00:28:28] Trey Gerrald: Miss A'. for Mr.

[00:28:30] Chelsey Donn: miss the four Ms. For,

[00:28:32] Trey Gerrald: Ms. A'..

[00:28:33] Chelsey Donn: Ms. The full Ms. Form. Okay. I'm going to staple you in to the Meryl-Go-Round so you can be nice and stuck on there. Okay.

[00:28:44] Trey Gerrald: Do you know that? I, one time when I was an intern, I had to go to the emergency room because I staple guns through my finger. Have I ever told you this story?

[00:28:53] Chelsey Donn: I think you might have. I can't remember while you were, you were working on that sh you were on a show, right?

[00:28:59] Trey Gerrald: I, it was a play. I was an intern at a theater. Maybe we've already told the story And we'll, we'll, we'll touch base in the aftershock, but

[00:29:06] Chelsey Donn: after show, but yeah, so now you're just, you're stuck. You're like aunt, are you riding Merrill? Um, you're on the ride. You're staple.

[00:29:14] Trey Gerrald: I'm very secure.

[00:29:16] Chelsey Donn: You're very secure,

[00:29:17] Trey Gerrald: So Missa for

[00:29:19] Chelsey Donn: Mr. Afar.

[00:29:21] Trey Gerrald: Mr. Flores, one star review subject is paper to white. And the Review! is, I was hoping it would be more dot, dot, dot eggshell ish.

[00:29:33] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:29:35] Trey Gerrald: All right. So I'm stapled in and here we

[00:29:37] Chelsey Donn: you stable and ready?

[00:29:39] Trey Gerrald: I'm ready? Let's do it.

[00:29:40] Chelsey Donn: All right, let's do it.

[00:29:41] VOICEOVER: Three, Two, One, GO!.

[00:29:46] Chelsey Donn: diva,

[00:29:47] Trey Gerrald: I was hoping it would be. Nah, I was hoping he would be,

[00:29:57] Chelsey Donn: uh, adult film,

[00:29:59] Trey Gerrald: I was hoping it would be more ex shows.

[00:30:03] Chelsey Donn: film,

[00:30:05] Trey Gerrald: I was hoping it would be more XLS Shaw.

[00:30:09] Chelsey Donn: soap, opera.

[00:30:10] Trey Gerrald: I was hoping it would be more

[00:30:16] Chelsey Donn: That's all. Oh, good job, Trey.

[00:30:18] Trey Gerrald: good germ.

[00:30:20] Chelsey Donn: Good jerk. One to five. That's five for you, diva.

[00:30:24] Trey Gerrald: All right.

[00:30:25] Chelsey Donn: Good jerk.

[00:30:26] Trey Gerrald: It was the staples. All right. Chelsey, what is your One-Star-Zinger today?

[00:30:30] Chelsey Donn: it was this Naples. Okay. So I also was trying to think of something like what could be on theme for today. And so I found out in Australia, there is a restaurant call. Repeat offender.

[00:30:44] Chelsey Donn: And so I thought, what better, what better zinger to bring in? So it is a little bit long for a zinger, but I had to go on theme. So there's is a zinger written by David J B one-star review of repeat offender in Elwood, Victoria, Australia. That's what Vic stands for.

[00:31:08] Trey Gerrald: I think, sorry. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:31:09] Chelsey Donn: Okay. I don't know. I don't know things, but anyway, here we go.

[00:31:12] Chelsey Donn: The ones, our view is they wouldn't let us bring in a birthday cake, which was disappointing. Unlikely to go back

[00:31:21] Trey Gerrald: Unlikely.

[00:31:23] Chelsey Donn: likely to go back.

[00:31:24] Trey Gerrald: All right. Well then I'm going to strap you in to the highest point of the Sydney opera house. All right. Are you ready?

[00:31:34] Chelsey Donn: Yes.

[00:31:35] VOICEOVER: Three, Two, One, GO!.

[00:31:39] Chelsey Donn: They wouldn't let us bring in a birthday cake, which was disappointing, unlikely to go back.

[00:31:44] Trey Gerrald: Yankee

[00:31:46] Chelsey Donn: They wouldn't let us bring in a birthday cake, which was disappointing. Unlikely to go back. Oh no, they wouldn't let us pick it up.

[00:32:07] VOICEOVER: Two,.

[00:32:11] Trey Gerrald: Ah, so close. It was for,

[00:32:17] Chelsey Donn: Good job. Good

[00:32:18] Trey Gerrald: you. Thank you. Thank you.

[00:32:20] Chelsey Donn: to bring it in. I was really trying to rush there. I was alone with.

[00:32:25] Pokey O's Review

[00:32:25] VOICEOVER: Review That Review.

[00:32:29] Chelsey Donn: All right. We are back from that rousing game break and it is your turn. Trey. Where is your Review! from this week?

[00:32:38] Trey Gerrald: My Review! today is actually a five star review from yelp.com written by someone named Craig an,, which is a reviewer that we featured on episode 10. Do you have any memory in your recesses of what Craig end's review was on episode 10?

[00:33:03] Chelsey Donn: Was this, the boat. How was this the,

[00:33:07] Trey Gerrald: How did you know that?

[00:33:08] Chelsey Donn: well, I remember because my dad's name is Craig and I said, I usually like people named Craig. So I was surprised that I had found a Craig that I did not like. And so that's how I remembered, but, oh my goodness. This was mark two Minnelli, right?

[00:33:27] Trey Gerrald: mark, Tim and Allie actually found this. He sourced this Review! for us. Do you happen to remember anything from that splash at the boat house?

[00:33:34] Chelsey Donn: Okay. I remember like we kept bragging about our attractive wife, but like only like not, she didn't have any qualities other than the fact that she was attractive, but then we were like really obsessed with our buddy. Jeff, is that right?

[00:33:52] Trey Gerrald: Yes,

[00:33:53] Chelsey Donn: But he, Jeff.

[00:33:54] Trey Gerrald: God, I can't believe you remember that.

[00:33:57] Chelsey Donn: Um, I can't really remember that either. That's crazy.

[00:34:00] Chelsey Donn: And then they had, they, they had a, um, like they were pilots or they were flying. They like flew into the waters, how I imagine it happening. And then the complaint. Ooh, the complaint. Oh, they like got too drunk. And they were blamed or they, oh, was it the buddy Jeff that threw up and he can handle his liquor and they were blaming it on the food.

[00:34:26] Chelsey Donn: I can't remember what food specifically, but they were blaming it, like on the food. And then within the narrative, they kept telling us that he had like a million whiskeys or

[00:34:35] Trey Gerrald: Yes. Very good. Wow. You really remember all those major points

[00:34:40] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:34:41] Trey Gerrald: that was like 10 months ago that. we did episode 10.

[00:34:44] Chelsey Donn: Wow. I feel very proud of my brain

[00:34:47] Trey Gerrald: I'm proud of you that, Yeah.

[00:34:50] Trey Gerrald: my favorite part, I remember because of the image for that episode was they randomly talk about the Chihuahuan named Ali, but never comes back to the story.

[00:34:59] Trey Gerrald: Okay. So today I'm gonna share Craig. So Craig an, has 55 reviews on Yelp

[00:35:06] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:35:07] Trey Gerrald: and only six photos, but today

[00:35:09] Chelsey Donn: So they're not elite, I'm guessing.

[00:35:11] Trey Gerrald: Definitely not elite. I'm going to share Craig five star review for a place in Texas called pokey O's cookies and ice cream Roanoke. Also interesting to note here, Craig N has a little emblem here that says first to Review!.

[00:35:31] Chelsey Donn: Oh, that's a thing. That's interesting. Oh, that's going to go into consideration, I think.

[00:35:36] Trey Gerrald: I think. at my,

[00:35:37] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Okay.

[00:35:38] Trey Gerrald: here we go.

[00:35:39] Chelsey Donn: All right.

[00:35:42] Trey Gerrald: Knowing that team quote, Jenny crag and quote would be spending a weekend in Roanoke. My best flying bud Cabo, otherwise

[00:35:53] Trey Gerrald: known as R S I L C parentheses retired senior international line. Captain decided to fly his G 500 over in a heartbeat. Our original plan was to meet up at soul fire. But the focus of our eating extravaganza shifted to this unreal place that serves the best suites ever.

[00:36:20] Trey Gerrald: Two exclamation marks. I had their peanut butter cookie and I have to say was the best I've ever had. My hot German wife, had the sugar.

[00:36:32] Trey Gerrald: cookie. Parentheses, but not sure

[00:36:37] Trey Gerrald: of it was topped with a cream cheese type of frosting, but she Two, loved her cookie as much as mine, but that's where the story took a turn with Cabo, his lovely wife, his son, and two daughters.

[00:36:54] Trey Gerrald: Cap's not having. During their spur of the moment flight from Scottsdale ended up having pretty much everything. They offered side note, the owners were ultra cool and super friendly to talk to. They are also in our aviation biz and we instantly bonded. It was very apparent. They really had a passion for their business and it shows anyway, back to the story. Cabos wife had some of their ice cream and raved over it. Cabo son tried showing off and ordered four scoops of ice cream with a cookie ended up passing out from his sugar high and was completely useless to help fly them back home. Second side note that bad-ass G 500 is a two crew member bird. So with his son and capacitated left Cabo with no choice to choose his oldest daughter to commandeer the right seat of the biz jet,

[00:38:03] Chelsey Donn: Oh, my God.

[00:38:04] Trey Gerrald: might have.

[00:38:05] Trey Gerrald: Where's the other daughter in the mix. Why didn't she help fly them back? Well, poor Katie also tried showing off and ordered a half a dozen cake balls parentheses also. Excellent. And shoved as many as she could in her mouth at once to compete with the oldest son ended up choking where an innocent bystander performed, the Heimlich maneuver, saving her life. After the excitement died down. And the first responders left, they sadly left back to the airport where Cabo had to fly back almost all by himself because his oldest daughter doesn't even have a pilot's license. He doesn't care. He's got his money on his mind and his mind on his money. Anyway, I digress.

[00:39:04] Trey Gerrald: They made it back safe. But the point of the story is this place rocks. Please stop by and try all their sweets out.dot, dot you. Won't be disappointed. I just can't wait to get back.

[00:39:25] Chelsey Donn: Oh, wow. Wow. Craig, Craig and Craig,

[00:39:29] Trey Gerrald: What.

[00:39:30] Chelsey Donn: always out doing yourself with the detail.

[00:39:34] Trey Gerrald: That have nothing to do with the replace you're reviewing.

[00:39:37] Chelsey Donn: Well, what was funny to me is like, so we gave as many details in this positive review as we did in the negative negative

[00:39:45] Trey Gerrald: Interesting. Yeah,

[00:39:46] Chelsey Donn: And I feel like, do we remember, was it a, one-star the splash of the bottom?

[00:39:50] Trey Gerrald: it was a two-star.

[00:39:51] Chelsey Donn: Two-star okay. So I feel like the only difference between this Review! and that Review! is where like we place responsibility or blame because within this five star review, We have, uh, allegedly, which I'm having a little bit at this point.

[00:40:12] Chelsey Donn: No offense, Craig, and I'm having a little bit of a hard time trusting my resource here. I think we're lying a little bit, but if I'm believing this whole Heimlich maneuver first responder nonsense, this could just as easily been a two-star review. Can you see him writing this and being like your food was too good.

[00:40:36] Chelsey Donn: It almost killed someone like, you know what I mean? So, because we're skewing that way and we have this very weird personality and you're telling me that the owner of this place is in the aviation business and you're the first to review.

[00:40:54] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:40:56] Chelsey Donn: I smell a rat.

[00:40:58] Trey Gerrald: I know also it's like so much of this review. Like there even like anyway, back to the

[00:41:04] Chelsey Donn: Back to the story.

[00:41:06] Trey Gerrald: digress. It's like, what are you talking? We're not here to read about your friend, Jeff, stop Craig. an,.

[00:41:11] Chelsey Donn: I'm sorry, but the Jenny Craig comment

[00:41:14] Trey Gerrald: Yo, what does that even mean?

[00:41:17] Chelsey Donn: It's such a bad joke. It's like, it makes me cringe. But I think that the point of mentioning it was like everybody was on a diet, but somehow we ended up at this. Sugar plays anyway, like,

[00:41:31] Trey Gerrald: So here's some context. So it does say that Craig an, lives in Seabrook, Texas. They also reference that Cabo, the.

[00:41:41] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:41:42] Trey Gerrald: Wait, didn't they say that the friend's name was Jeff and the other Review!. Now their name is Cabo

[00:41:47] Chelsey Donn: Well, I think he has more than one friend.

[00:41:50] Trey Gerrald: with these planes.

[00:41:52] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:41:53] Trey Gerrald: Oh

[00:41:54] Chelsey Donn: works in aviation,

[00:41:55] Trey Gerrald: true. so we don't. Okay. So Cabo lives, they say in Scottsdale and this ice cream place is in Roanoke, Texas. I mean, yes. I feel like it's like a weird fat shaming, like opening sentence for no reason. Also like. I mean,

[00:42:18] Trey Gerrald: the majority of the spelling here was great. There was like one little type of where it says not sure of, yeah.

[00:42:23] Trey Gerrald: but it should be F I guess it's also like, I don't know. I just feel like what is the value here?

[00:42:29] Trey Gerrald: Like, I don't believe that the kid had a Heimlich maneuver. I don't believe that they were choking and dying and the first responders were there. So then if you're fabricating that story, then why am I going to believe how good the ice cream was? Like, it sort of nullifies all of that. Because the claims you're making are so extraordinary.

[00:42:47] Chelsey Donn: I just want to know if anyone listening things that Craig an, is.

[00:42:54] Trey Gerrald: Well, I definitely think Craig thanks, Craig is

[00:42:57] Chelsey Donn: well, Craig thinks the Craig is hilarious and I am completely turned off by Craig's style of humor. And while I recognize that he's making an effort to be humorous, which is one of the characters that we use to grade someone on our reviewing scale.

[00:43:22] Chelsey Donn: Like, I would usually give someone a little bit of points for making an effort, but I just constantly find myself so turned off the deeper that we get into each one of his reviews. Like this is what, like I've learned about Craig in the, in the two reviews. He's extremely misogynistic,

[00:43:46] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, that does come up. Yeah.

[00:43:47] Chelsey Donn: you know,

[00:43:49] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. Especially even the conversation about the daughters

[00:43:51] Chelsey Donn: The daughters, the verses the sons, the only mentioning the wives sexualize them. Okay, great. So you like loved it, but everything else that you're saying has no meaning you keep going off course and, and like, you've branded yourself as this guy that talks about aviation to anyone with ears. didn't sign up.

[00:44:18] Trey Gerrald: It's just, it is interesting, like that crack happens to be bragging about something that I literally give zero fucks about. Like I have no interest, I don't care. It's not impressive to me. I don't even know if there's a G 200, like, I don't care about a G 500 and they mentioned it twice by name. That is just sort of like, if you're here to support this business and like give them a five star review.

[00:44:40] Trey Gerrald: Why are you spending so much time bragging about your lifestyle and your friends?

[00:44:45] Chelsey Donn: a disservice in the end, cause it's like, yeah, there are some people out there that are aviation buffs and they might be tickled by. You know, this kind of Review!, but it has nothing to do with the subject matter. That's like a needle in the haystack, you know what I mean? That's like somebody writing some weird reference in Latin or whatever it is that like, there's a random person that's going to speak Latin and understand the joke and great, good for them.

[00:45:16] Chelsey Donn: But the majority of people that are thinking about going to get cookies and ice cream, I

[00:45:22] Trey Gerrald: Right.

[00:45:23] Chelsey Donn: don't care about aviation or your plane. It has nothing to do with whether or not the ice cream tastes good. And so you giving me a whole like, Ugh, gross, like spiel about the Plains and then inner splicing it with a little, the ice cream was good and so good that everybody got sick and sugar high.

[00:45:45] Chelsey Donn: It's not a great love.

[00:45:47] Trey Gerrald: No. I also think this has come up before, but like, anytime you say second side note where track we've we've lost the

[00:45:55] Chelsey Donn: my God. Yes. Like the PSPS P S

[00:46:00] Trey Gerrald: I think I could crown this.

[00:46:01] Chelsey Donn: all right. I could talk about Craig and I think for an eternity, but I, I, I think I've been

[00:46:07] Trey Gerrald: All right. Let's crack.

[00:46:08] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating.

[00:46:15] Chelsey Donn: One, gotcha. So for our 52nd episode, we are completely unanimous. I think we've officially gone into each other's brains. It happened at 52, 1 crown one crown. It pained me to award the crown because of all the points that I had already made. But. Within the Review!, there was some information about the product and that's the only reason I awarded anything at that.

[00:46:47] Chelsey Donn: And like, maybe for the one listener, which please do call actually, I don't know. I don't know if I want that person to call, but I'm, I am curious to know if we're just being extra harsh on this person for maybe the one person that is an aviation buff that likes, you know, Craig's sense of humor. One crown.

[00:47:06] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. I just had one crown because the only value here is that they went, they ordered a bunch of different kinds of cookies by name. They talk about.

[00:47:14] Trey Gerrald: them. They said, they're all good. And I guess I appreciate that they were trying to be humorous, but it's just too much. It's too far off of what the point here is at that point.

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