TRANSCRIPT of Episode 54: "Three Wolf Tee"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald

Episode 54: "Three Wolf Tee"

Transcription

*Please Pardon any spelling errors!

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hi,

[00:00:32] Trey Gerrald: Chelsey and hello listeners. Welcome to Review That Review! The podcast dedicated to reviewing

[00:00:40] Chelsey Donn: Reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:51] Trey Gerrald: that is Chelsey Donn.

[00:00:53] Chelsey Donn: And that is Trey Gerrald.

[00:00:55] Trey Gerrald: And when we come together, we form:

[00:00:58] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens!

[00:01:02] Trey Gerrald: For access to additional reviews and tidbits on our weekly members only after show companion podcast, plus videos, merch discounts, and much more. Visit our Patreon at Patreon.com/ReviewThatReview.

[00:01:18] Trey Gerrald: Hey Chelsey goose goose. How you doing?

[00:01:21] Chelsey Donn: Oh, I'm good. Goldie seems a little bit barky. So hopefully that will resolve over the course of the taping. I'm good. As you know, I'm like so busy, I've been staring at a computer screen for so long, just trying to finish this pilot and my eyes are burning, but, uh, it's great to see your face across the screen.

[00:01:41] Trey Gerrald: do, you have blue light blocking glasses,

[00:01:43] Chelsey Donn: these are supposed to be blue, light blocking, but I think I've just exceeded the amount of time. One is supposed to sit at a

[00:01:50] Trey Gerrald: lights up it's

[00:01:51] Chelsey Donn: the blue is like, um, yeah, I'm out.

[00:01:53] Trey Gerrald: I'm tired.

[00:01:54] Chelsey Donn: How's your

[00:01:55] Trey Gerrald: I'm having a good week

[00:01:56] Trey Gerrald: you know, I'm excited to share. I leased a car.

[00:02:01] Chelsey Donn: stop you did. Oh my God. Did you cry? Did you, was it emotional? Like.

[00:02:08] Trey Gerrald: I have explicitly not been sharing with Chelsey so that we could get that genuine reaction.

[00:02:14] Chelsey Donn: I'm so happy.

[00:02:15] Trey Gerrald: I leased my car last Wednesday and it's been good. It was, I went with a Hyundai.

[00:02:22] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:02:23] Trey Gerrald: Which is awesome. And they have this little thing nowadays called express shopping with true pricing transparency,

[00:02:31] Chelsey Donn: Oh,

[00:02:32] Trey Gerrald: basically like locks you in to a deal sheet.

[00:02:35] Trey Gerrald: And then you go and in-person and they have to honor it for the three days. The deal sheet is good for. So I went in. I met with this wonderful salesperson named Melo, and they did not try to do anything shady. They actually took an additional $200 off when I asked and all as well. So now Chelsey, I have a black 20, 22 Hyundai venue SUV.

[00:03:02] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God.

[00:03:02] Trey Gerrald: like a little teeny baby version of your nice BMW.

[00:03:07] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Well, the, everybody doesn't need to know how bougie I am, but

[00:03:11] Trey Gerrald: But I can't wait for them to park beside each other. Cause you'll see. It's like a teeny little funny version of

[00:03:16] Chelsey Donn: I love that though. So is this, is this Hyundai specific with a pricing thing? Like that's something they do.

[00:03:23] Trey Gerrald: It is something that they specifically do. I don't know if every single dealership does it, but

[00:03:28] Trey Gerrald: certain do. Yeah. And I asked mellow the salesperson. I asked him, you know, like, do people do this all the time? And he was like, no, because I think people think there has to be a catch. So they don't think it's actually real.

[00:03:44] Trey Gerrald: like, wow, this is Crazy. And I told him,

[00:03:45] Trey Gerrald: I

[00:03:46] Chelsey Donn: a big fan of Hyundai is

[00:03:48] Trey Gerrald: Oh, really?

[00:03:48] Chelsey Donn: he, he drove one for a while. Yeah. Like in the recent past, like not even that long ago, he's just always been a fan. He thinks it's a really well-made automobile.

[00:03:59] Trey Gerrald: Well, Mella was telling me that the good thing is, is that Hyundai is newer than the old brands, like Toyota or Honda, where they are known for the longevity of their excellence. And so they don't necessarily have to do cutting edge technology. They don't have to offer as many things. And so. What's exciting about Hyundai is that they're still trying to expand and make people happy to compete with, you know, the Toyota Honda like lifelong pinions.

[00:04:29] Trey Gerrald: So, but I'm very happy that now I have a car that I can officially announce on the podcast that I was completely screwed over by Kia.

[00:04:39] Chelsey Donn: oh, you

[00:04:40] Trey Gerrald: who wants Kia should not go to Jack Daniel's Kia in New Jersey.

[00:04:46] Chelsey Donn: I, I, you did. I'm proud of you way to give a live on the air. Review! go

[00:04:53] Trey Gerrald: dead Jack Daniels Kia, now that they were screwing over a person with a

[00:04:58] Chelsey Donn: Oh, they should not do that, especially not a Review Queen. Yikes.

[00:05:03] Trey Gerrald: So, Yeah. But anyway,

[00:05:04] Lodge A Complaint!

[00:05:04] Trey Gerrald: so I'm very happy. But with that anger that I literally just like tapped into, I'm really ready to share with the audience today. I really need that.

[00:05:12] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint.

[00:05:14] Trey Gerrald: Against a very common day nuisance. Um, Chelsey, I'm actually going to pick up my camera and I'm going to show you? what happened. This happened to me earlier today, whole punch confetti,

[00:05:25] Chelsey Donn: Oh, yes.

[00:05:26] Trey Gerrald: you ever gone to a hole punch and you're trying to punch it.

[00:05:31] Trey Gerrald: You

[00:05:31] Chelsey Donn: Oh no. And the bottom

[00:05:32] Trey Gerrald: the bottom just goes

[00:05:34] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I hate that.

[00:05:36] Trey Gerrald: Well girl diva friend that happened to me today. It made me so angry that I couldn't even pick it up. I just said, you know what, that's my complaint for today. I, why does the bottom of the whole pot, the three-hole punch? Why does it come off that easily? Why, why does it take a

[00:05:54] Chelsey Donn: Was it overstuffed. That's what I always look to blame myself. So I'm like, did I stop it too

[00:06:00] Trey Gerrald: No, it's definitely, it's definitely not overstock.

[00:06:02] Chelsey Donn: It's just malfunction.

[00:06:04] Trey Gerrald: It is. I honestly, this whole punch is Dave EDS. That was in his Chelsey apartment that he lived in for

[00:06:11] Chelsey Donn: so it's been

[00:06:11] Trey Gerrald: who knows when he bought this? So it might actually be deficit of grip of this whole punch base, regardless. is something that you have to frequently be aware of with hole.

[00:06:23] Trey Gerrald: Punches is not to spill the confetti. And we all know that. I love to complain about.

[00:06:28] Chelsey Donn: Yes, we do know

[00:06:30] Trey Gerrald: But an unexpected confetti or a non celebratory confetti, but a paper confetti from putting things in a binder that's horrid. I don't want you all over the floor.

[00:06:44] Chelsey Donn: Well, I, as you know, I used to, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna say who on the air. Cause I'm shady, I guess, or now I signed an NDA maybe, but I used to do fan mail for, for like one particular big celebrity for awhile. And the worst was the glitter bombs. Like I would open up, I would open up an envelope that some kid had sent and it would just explode with glitter.

[00:07:10] Trey Gerrald: Oh my God.

[00:07:12] Chelsey Donn: like a costed. So I know the feeling of like an unwanted, glitter bomb, explosion, whatever. I feel you that sucks. I have to Lodge A Complaint.

[00:07:22] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:07:23] Chelsey Donn: I'm like a big fan of the everything, but the bagel seasoning. I mean, I'm not like welcome to the party everybody is, but I decided to make myself some avocado toast and I put some of that, everything, but the bagel seasoning and it was really, really good.

[00:07:38] Chelsey Donn: And then. I got a poppy seed stuck in my

[00:07:43] Trey Gerrald: Um, now.

[00:07:44] Chelsey Donn: And however it had gotten stuck there. It just, it would not come out. Like I had to actually get floss, get aggressive with the poppy seed that was stuck in my tooth. And they had to quickly like peruse my brain, like who did I see? You know, like just, I just went to the pharmacy and picked up a prescription, but I was in the car.

[00:08:09] Chelsey Donn: So like, did they notice, like, you know, that feeling when you're like, I've clearly had this. In my tooth. I didn't realize, then I realized I can't deal with it right away. Like I was like in the car, tried with the finger wasn't working. I had to literally like drive home to deal with this thing. I mean, I don't know who I'm complaining at.

[00:08:29] Chelsey Donn: I'm just saying I wasn't happy about it. So I thought I'd talk about it today.

[00:08:34] Trey Gerrald: I feel like those days are always like when you're feeling especially confident and smiling and happy that inevitably will be the day you get something stuck in your teeth.

[00:08:45] Chelsey Donn: And something like a poppy seed. It's just so easy to like get lodged in there.

[00:08:51] Trey Gerrald: So, okay. I'm not actually unfamiliar. So is this from trader? Joe's

[00:08:55] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I mean, trader Joe's, I think really started the everything, but the bagel seasoning hype. Now a lot of other brands have it as well. It's just, it's basically all of the, like, I love it. Everything bagel. If I'm going to get a bagel, it's going to be likely everything toasted with veggie cream, cheese trays face is saying that that's not his choice.

[00:09:16] Trey Gerrald: not my now.

[00:09:17] Chelsey Donn: But I do love and everything bagel. So I don't always want to eat bagels. People don't always want to have bagels, but they might like that flavor. And so I I'd say that's probably where the seasoning came from. And then people started doing like everything, crusted, tilapia and like that.

[00:09:34] Trey Gerrald: One of my favorite things about Judaism is bagel.

[00:09:38] Chelsey Donn: Oh yeah.

[00:09:39] Trey Gerrald: I feel Like growing up in the south, we didn't really have bagels. I remember my mom would get frozen bagels. Like maybe once

[00:09:45] Chelsey Donn: a lender.

[00:09:46] Trey Gerrald: Yes. It wasn't like a thing. And so like when I first moved to New York, I would go to a Dunkin donuts and I would get a bagel and that I, man, it's so gross now.

[00:09:57] Trey Gerrald: It was so exciting to me that I had the option to get a bagel. And I like gained so much weight. Like I gained my freshmen 15, basically at Dunkin donuts with bagels. So then I was like, I always had the sense of like, um, torment around bagels, but being with David's family, it's like, there's always bagels,

[00:10:15] Chelsey Donn: I mean, sometimes feel like if I'm going down, I'm going down with bagels, like it's just, I break every I'm could pour with a big bagel He had just got

[00:10:25] Trey Gerrald: What do you suspect is tray's favorite kind of bagel, since you said yours has everything and

[00:10:29] Chelsey Donn: Ooh. Okay. Well, like I had an immediate feeling, but then I like took it back. Like, I don't know, like my immediate gut was like a cinnamon Razan. Oh my God. Am I right?

[00:10:41] Trey Gerrald: That's so weird.

[00:10:43] Chelsey Donn: Oh, my

[00:10:44] Trey Gerrald: Why did you think that.

[00:10:46] Chelsey Donn: I don't know. I just, like, as soon as I said it and your face had that reaction, I just immediately got, he's a cinnamon raisin guy, but then I was second guessing myself because I thought, but Trey doesn't really like sweet things.

[00:10:59] Chelsey Donn: You're more of a savory guy, so that's why I thought maybe it was wrong, but I'm so glad I, I told you what was in my mind. Cause I was apparently so.

[00:11:06] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, I really do like Simon resin, but I think if I'm going to have egg salad and sometimes if it's just, um, like a whipped butter, no, I kind of just like, I like wheat. Yeah. And I love Flay goals,

[00:11:20] Chelsey Donn: I like the flat. Those are the flat bagels. Are those like, is that, what's the difference between a Flagel on a bialy? Are they the same?

[00:11:28] Trey Gerrald: We always talking about.

[00:11:31] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, bialy a bagel and a yellow.

[00:11:34] Trey Gerrald: I have no idea. I don't know. It'd be all he is

[00:11:36] Chelsey Donn: Oh, God. Okay. Well,

[00:11:39] Trey Gerrald: listeners call in. Um, alright Chelsey, should we jump into some online reviews?

[00:11:44] Chelsey Donn: I think that's a great idea.

[00:11:48] VOICEOVER: Review That Review!

[00:11:52] Chelsey Donn: As you know, we are your trusty Review! Queens. We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

[00:11:59] Trey Gerrald: We read you the Review! break it down and rate the impact of the review on a scale from zero to five crowns. It's a very Regal process that we call

[00:12:10] VOICEOVER: Assess That Kvetch!

[00:12:12] VOICEOVER: And Chelsey, what have you got for us today?

[00:12:15] Chelsey Donn: Okay. So today I have a one-star review from Amazon for the mountain. Men's three Wolf, moon short-sleeve sleeve. Now, do you know about these shirts where we have like a Wolf howling and a moon?

[00:12:34] Trey Gerrald: it like in the pocket?

[00:12:37] Chelsey Donn: No, this is

[00:12:38] Trey Gerrald: I have no idea what this

[00:12:39] Chelsey Donn: oh my God, you don't. Okay. So

[00:12:42] Trey Gerrald: it again. Mountain men, three.

[00:12:45] Chelsey Donn: three Wolf, moon, short sleeve tee.

[00:12:49] Trey Gerrald: Okay.

[00:12:51] Chelsey Donn: So I don't really know what this is, guys. People know there's a whole Wikipedia about it. Okay. There's a whole Wikipedia about this. T-shirt

[00:12:59] Trey Gerrald: Oh, I just Googled, oh, three wolves howling out a man.

[00:13:04] Chelsey Donn: Exactly. Yeah. So I came across this Review! so we have to, we have to break this down together. Okay. It is a one-star review written by Rita G. The subject is untapped potential.

[00:13:23] Trey Gerrald: Oh, no.

[00:13:23] Chelsey Donn: This is a verified purchase. Here we go. I found out that this t-shirt is absolutely too much for some people I bought it for my brother-in-law.

[00:13:36] Chelsey Donn: Yes. Thought he could maybe appreciate me helping to light the fire between he and my sister. She and I don't talk about intimate subjects. But I wanted her, but I wanted her to feel the deep burning that I felt when my husband wore his three Wolf t-shirt we've been married for 30 years and it was like the first night I met him all over.

[00:14:11] Chelsey Donn: He was across the bar playing pool at the dead goat saloon salt lake. The room blurred around him. I got tunnel vision and the tingly sensations started down below and burned like a light, like a lightning rod to my heart. The three Wolf t-shirt brought that back with even a brighter burn of the moon and the howl of the woo.

[00:14:46] Trey Gerrald: House.

[00:14:47] Chelsey Donn: Ooh, the hell of the Wolf within him. Am I wrong for wanting this for my sister? No, I say definitely not. The crime here is that my brother-in-law hasn't even worn the t-shirt. W T F is he afraid? Does he feel unworthy? I wish I could repossess it. The thought of the pent up potential of a three Wolf t-shirt just wasting away in a drawer is almost more than I can handle at this point.

[00:15:31] Chelsey Donn: I want to see if they have a three Wolf thong I can get for my sister. Maybe he will realize the dynamic he has prevented by not wearing his t-shirt. Help me someone, what can I do?

[00:15:52] Trey Gerrald: Okay. Just for the listeners. If you haven't Googled our F if you found it on Instagram, this is literally just a t-shirt of like an illustration of three Wolf face

[00:16:04] Trey Gerrald: hair.

[00:16:05] Chelsey Donn: right.

[00:16:06] Trey Gerrald: How, like how laying with like cold breath fog, and there's like a moon in the right.

[00:16:12] Trey Gerrald: There's nothing inherently sexual about this.

[00:16:15] Chelsey Donn: in, I'm very excited. Those of you who are on the mailing list might have noticed that now we're doing like fun facts that are related to the episodes in our weekly mailers. And so I'm very much looking forward to doing some research about this because. I'm telling you, I looked this product up because I remembered even going back to like elementary school, that there were people that always wore these shirts in college would wear these shirts like these, these howling of the moon.

[00:16:45] Chelsey Donn: And I thought maybe it was a Twilight thing. Cause it sort of crossed over with the same time period. So I'm very excited. There's definitely something there.

[00:16:54] Trey Gerrald: I might be in crash, but I do believe that there is a belief and indigenous American culture that the moon is actually a Wolf, but that still doesn't explain why this is a lightning rod from the tingling that's burning, going to Rita's heart.

[00:17:14] Chelsey Donn: I just want to know if anybody listening has this sort of affinity for this shirt. Cause I don't Trey doesn't don't even really understand the connection to the shirt. I was whoa, I don't know why I was relying on you don't know, but either way I thought it was a fun Review! but do we think that this review is just totally a joke?

[00:17:34] Chelsey Donn: Or do you think that this person is at all serious in what they're saying? And also the brother-in-law can we talk about it?

[00:17:41] Trey Gerrald: That's the first thing I wrote down was brother-in-law dot, dot dot. Yes. And literally I was like, what? And then you said yes, but then I realized it was actually for the sister's sick.

[00:17:54] Trey Gerrald: You know, I was going to ask you, are there a lot of funny jokey reviews about this product?

[00:18:00] Chelsey Donn: Not on this page that I found,

[00:18:03] Trey Gerrald: Cause I was wondering if this is like a cultural thing, like, is this from like the office or is there some like south park episode about Is there some

[00:18:10] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I was wondering about that. Exactly. Like that's what I'm, I'm wondering if there's like a piece like that. That is messy. No, truthfully, I just, I Googled, you know, Wolf, moon T. And thank God, this Amazon page. So I, you know, I looked at it and you know how it does that thing where it says, this is a good review and this is a bad review.

[00:18:33] Chelsey Donn: Like at the top, like it gives the examples. This was like the example of the bad review. So I just read I didn't do any deep dive digging through the reviews truthfully. Cause it was right. It was right up

[00:18:48] Trey Gerrald: You know, it's interesting to me because I was trying to ascertain if this is a joke or not as well, there's something feels, um, jokey about being so descriptive about being turned on. Like if we think back to the after show a couple of weeks ago about AAA that triple X are double art, straight, straight A's to triple X.

[00:19:11] Chelsey Donn: Blacks.

[00:19:12] Trey Gerrald: reviewer was very much like to the point wasn't for boasts was just like, I wanted hot polo. And like that was it. This is like spelling out how salacious it is to be turned on. That sort of rings a little like jokey or false, or like you're going into such great detail for what effect. And I, that makes me think maybe for comedy, but if I were to take Rita G at her at their word, I do imagine that someone who plays pool at a bar called dead goats, saloon probably would be wearing this t-shirt.

[00:19:48] Trey Gerrald: And if that is someone that you've been married to for 30 years, that does turn you on, then I can follow this narrative that there's something primitive about a Wolf and a man who is playing pool, like at the dead goat. So like, I can sort of follow the narrative a little bit. Yeah.

[00:20:07] Chelsey Donn: Right.

[00:20:07] Trey Gerrald: But it does. I mean, something about it does sort of stand out about like, are you actually reviewing the t-shirt?

[00:20:13] Trey Gerrald: Are you trying to like get attention? Because I don't know. It does seem a little jokey. What do you think.

[00:20:23] Chelsey Donn: I mean, the whole thing really seems like a joke. Like it's kind of, it's just strange. That's why I'm like, am I missing something here? Like what? So this is a one-star view. Because someone didn't wear the shirt your husband wore that like super attracted to you.

[00:20:40] Chelsey Donn: I don't know. Rita G I don't think that this is one star worthy.

[00:20:44] Chelsey Donn: I think you obviously really like

[00:20:47] Trey Gerrald: Correct. It's a five-star review for the shirt.

[00:20:50] Chelsey Donn: It's a five-star review for the shirt. It's a one serve you for your brother-in-law. So why. You know, listen, I brought this in because it was so funny and ridiculous that I just had to, and we talk about bringing in suspicious reviews and this seemed a little bit suspicious to me.

[00:21:05] Chelsey Donn: So I had to bring it in. I'm going to give Rita like some points when we eventually crown her for, you know, comedy. Cause I think there was like an effort at that, but I don't think that this is really giving me any information about the shirt. I don't know if. It, it feels kind of insider. Basebally like, it's like a joke planted for other people that feel this way.

[00:21:29] Trey Gerrald: I also, I, I do have a big question, mark. Like if we're going down a narrative storytelling route, how, how does Rita know that the brother-in-law has never worn the shirt? And then GO! goes on to tell us that it's remaining folded in a drawer. How do you know that Rita? That makes me

[00:21:45] Trey Gerrald: about this is false.

[00:21:47] Trey Gerrald: Although I do,

[00:21:48] Chelsey Donn: good point.

[00:21:49] Trey Gerrald: love, I love. The use of the phrase. I wish I could repossess it. only think of repossession as like a house or a car, but like Rita purchased it and gave it gift and the gift isn't being appreciated. So they want to repossess it. I love that phrase.

[00:22:06] Trey Gerrald: I'm going to

[00:22:07] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I mean the only, I guess, like what I was falling for the narrative there, which is like a leap, good point. I'm really glad you brought that up as like, maybe that she's very close with her sister. And so she's like convinced that if her sister's husband would have worn the shirt, then the sister would have immediately called up me, like, oh my God, like David has the same shirt that Steven has.

[00:22:29] Chelsey Donn: And it's so funny and I love it. And he's so sexy in that. Maybe that's a little. You know.

[00:22:34] Trey Gerrald: Well, I have one more question. Narrative wise, we end with the ponderance on. I wish they made a three Wolf thong.

[00:22:43] Trey Gerrald: So. Okay, but that also feels fishy narrative storytelling to me, because if it's a turn on for Rita who is identifying as a female, when the male husband is wearing the shirt, then Rita want the husband to be wearing the three Wolf thong?

[00:23:02] Trey Gerrald: Or as Rita saying that if Rita wore a three. Well, thong, it would turn the husband on because far we are being told that the husband has turned on by the tee-shirt clearly the brother-in-law isn't turned on by it, or he would be wearing it. So then is this joke you're ending with

[00:23:18] Chelsey Donn: okay. Okay. Fair. I think the joke that we're ending or whatever, the point we're getting to, if there is one, is that they've been married for 30 years. And for whatever reason, this shirt really lit the fire for them. Right? So clearly her and her husband

[00:23:38] Trey Gerrald: Oh,

[00:23:39] Trey Gerrald: good

[00:23:39] Chelsey Donn: fabulous night as a result of this t-shirt.

[00:23:43] Chelsey Donn: And so I think what sh Rita is saying. Is that there's all this untapped potential in this. T-shirt just sitting in the closet that could spice up their marriage. Well, if she tells her sister like, Hey babe, where are these underwear? It's going to really spice up your marriage. I think the chances that her sister will follow through are high.

[00:24:04] Chelsey Donn: Right. Maybe. So I think that's why she's saying it, but are we taking any of this seriously? It's hard. And also help me someone, what can I do? What can you do about what, helping your brother-in-law wear the shirt?

[00:24:19] Trey Gerrald: I guess. Yeah.

[00:24:21] Trey Gerrald: I, I do think if we look at the roster here, I do question the value. And I mean, I guess the information here is that this could be aphrodisiac. Like we need, we don't need clams. We don't need oysters. We don't

[00:24:35] Trey Gerrald: need,

[00:24:36] Chelsey Donn: just say the Walty

[00:24:37] Trey Gerrald: need this Wolf t-shirt

[00:24:39] Chelsey Donn: try. If I bought you, this will tell you what you wear it in the bedroom and tell me if it had an impact

[00:24:44] Trey Gerrald: without a doubt, I would absolutely wear

[00:24:46] Chelsey Donn: Great. All right. Fine

[00:24:48] Trey Gerrald: But I don't, but the value here, and I think the ultimate deal breaking impact here is what you said. Like this is a five star review for the t-shirt a one-star review for the family member. So I don't know how valuable this is. What was Rita spelling and grammar like,

[00:25:05] Chelsey Donn: Good. Yeah. Good. Um, WTF.

[00:25:11] Trey Gerrald: is that multiple apps? So then see that makes me now I'm even more suspicious because we know how frequent and common it is. And we learned from when James came on the show that there might be autocorrecting misspelling grub. I mean, how often do we

[00:25:26] Chelsey Donn: That was y'all.

[00:25:27] Trey Gerrald: Review! that has no spelling errors.

[00:25:30] Trey Gerrald: Yes. That was the up your ride. But how often do we have reviews that are thoroughly perfect.

[00:25:35] Chelsey Donn: Oh, right. So your point is that like, the reason you're suspicious is because this is clearly written like perfectly to a T even with like affected language and all of that.

[00:25:46] Trey Gerrald: See your whole point about Twilight. I'm wondering if maybe this is like fan fiction, trying to see, like, this Review! going to pop off because if it does, then I'm going to turn this into a spinoff for Twilight and try to get some 50 shades of gray going.

[00:26:01] Chelsey Donn: Rita G could have an ulterior motive.

[00:26:04] Trey Gerrald: I think it is. And I think Reed is a writer. Do you think is a common expense?

[00:26:09] Chelsey Donn: Listen. I don't know. I'm going to say no, but I'm also going to leave room for, I know that there are people that love these shirts. So maybe for them it's common, but no, in the sense that we're giving this product a one-stop. And we're raving about it. You know, like that's, I'm looking quickly at the other ones are reviews.

[00:26:29] Chelsey Donn: Cause I know you said like, are there a lot of joke reviews? And it doesn't really, I mean, there's like 10 pages. It's, it's a 2%, one star reviews, 84%, five. Um, and then the others are mixed in and most of the other bad reviews are like, the sizing was bad. I thought this was, you know, this didn't fit. Be aware.

[00:26:49] Chelsey Donn: Men's sizing, not boys. Like, you know, that kind of stuff.

[00:26:52] Trey Gerrald: Okay. Wait, I just looked on Amazon

[00:26:58] Chelsey Donn: okay.

[00:26:59] Trey Gerrald: and there's literally a screenshot. And a five-star review of Rainn Wilson from the office wearing this t-shirt did I

[00:27:09] Trey Gerrald: not

[00:27:10] Chelsey Donn: insane.

[00:27:11] Trey Gerrald: earlier?

[00:27:12] Chelsey Donn: You did

[00:27:13] Trey Gerrald: have never seen A'.

[00:27:15] Trey Gerrald: single episode of the office.

[00:27:17] Chelsey Donn: I know, I haven't really watched the office either. That's so crazy.

[00:27:20] Trey Gerrald: So this must be a joke from the office.

[00:27:23] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Interesting. All right. Well there's we gotta have listeners that watch the office. Certainly. I mean, my friends are all pulled when I tell them that I haven't watched it.

[00:27:33] Trey Gerrald: Okay. Well, well,

[00:27:35] Chelsey Donn: know that I have one friend that watches the office very regularly. So I'm going to ask her to listen to this Review! and call in and leave us a message to let us know.

[00:27:43] Trey Gerrald: so then what do we think? Do we think that read us truthful or shady?

[00:27:46] Chelsey Donn: Oh, read a shady. I mean, at the end of the day, what we say is who is impacted by these reviews and it's the person selling this product and the sizing complaints are legitimate, you know, complaints about the product are legitimate. Familial matters. Have no business

[00:28:05] Trey Gerrald: right. That's Yeah. All right. I think I could crown

[00:28:08] Chelsey Donn: I can crown.

[00:28:09] Trey Gerrald: All right. So Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards in an effort to be fair and not influence one another. We will simultaneously reveal our race.

[00:28:21] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating.

[00:28:35] Chelsey Donn: All of season two. So.

[00:28:36] Trey Gerrald: that's crazy. I can't believe that we both said half it's So.

[00:28:40] Trey Gerrald: harsh.

[00:28:40] Chelsey Donn: I know, but I think it's accurate. All right. So why did you give Rita a half ground?

[00:28:46] Trey Gerrald: I do just want to like be transparent here. Like it was, I randomly saw like the first customer image was the rain Wilson screenshot, but, and when I was quickly scrolling, I don't see the office written anywhere. So that conclusion I jumped to pretty quickly, regardless. I think I said half crown, because as we have already said, this is a review of the brother-in-law, it's not a review of the t-shirt.

[00:29:10] Trey Gerrald: So it's, miscategorized the half crown, because I did think it was common. But other than that, I don't think there's any value here. I think it's stupid. It's a t-shirt of three wolves, howling at a moon, but you're telling me it's sexier than oysters. So I just had half crown. Cause it's not really gonna have an impact on me.

[00:29:29] Trey Gerrald: Why did you say half crowd for Rita G

[00:29:31] Chelsey Donn: I'm just going to say, I want you to hold judgment on that until I send you the t-shirt and you see if it's spice, spices up your marriage?

[00:29:38] Trey Gerrald: got to do it before it airs so that we can get a true

[00:29:41] Chelsey Donn: you're right. right. I'll I'll order it as soon as we finish, so, oh, right. Cause David listens. Hi David. Okay. So I did the half crown pretty much. I mean yes. Spelling, grammar, and humor only for the verified purchase. I mean, at least you purchase the.

[00:29:59] Trey Gerrald: um,

[00:30:01] Chelsey Donn: Right. I mean, I can't really give more than that to Rita.

[00:30:04] Chelsey Donn: Cause it just, this needs to be filtered out elsewhere. This is, this is like the equivalent to me of the Honolulu. Review! in a way, because it just doesn't belong.

[00:30:14] Trey Gerrald: get that. Yeah, I get that too

[00:30:16] Chelsey Donn: I'm so glad I brought that in because it was shady, right?

[00:30:19] Trey Gerrald: So I feel like have we ever both done a half crown? I feel like that's so harsh for us.

[00:30:25] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, I think we were just very much on the same page about Rita and, um,

[00:30:30] Trey Gerrald: I guess what's like, what's there for me is like, if you're doing a jokey fake, Review! like, I think that Kleenex Review! is so epic because it's very specifically giving five stars to Kleenex. And then this like rambling, hilarious, comical joke.

[00:30:49] Chelsey Donn: a good point. That's a good point. Try.

[00:30:51] Trey Gerrald: This is a little misguided.

[00:30:53] Chelsey Donn: right. Comedy done for comedy sake, with approval of the product and five star, no harm, no foul, but if you're going to do a comedy, Review! make it one star, which means you're negatively impacting the business. You're negatively impacting the overall score.

[00:31:13] Chelsey Donn: And it's just a joke. You're losing me.

[00:31:16] Trey Gerrald: It just feels like it misses the target.

[00:31:18] Chelsey Donn: Even if it, even if they'd given forced sports stars, I would still think, okay. That's a little weird, but like one star that's a big ding to your, you know, to your overall rating.

[00:31:30] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:31:31] Trey Gerrald: I just, it also, like, I just think the like thesis statement was hard me to follow. Like, I don't think it's a sexy shirt, which is why ultimately we were like this, there must be some pop culture backstory.

[00:31:43] Chelsey Donn: Exactly. Yes.

[00:31:46] Trey Gerrald: Anyway, better luck next time.

[00:31:48] Chelsey Donn: Or like next time, Rita J I hope the brother-in-law where's the product so that you can update this to a five-star.

[00:31:55] My Royal Highness

[00:31:55] Chelsey Donn: All right. My queen, we have reached the most Regal portion of our show. Trey. Who are you inducting this week for

[00:32:04] VOICEOVER: My Royal

[00:32:05] VOICEOVER: Highness!

[00:32:06] Trey Gerrald: Okay.

[00:32:06] Trey Gerrald: So today I am going to choose to be vulnerable and I'm going to induct something that I have been on a journey with since. So I'm going to induct the company called ForHims.com. They're also a sister company of ForHers.com.

[00:32:27] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:32:27] Trey Gerrald: They make sexual wellness products, but I found Hims for hair loss.

[00:32:36] Trey Gerrald: So I am 36 years old and I started to notice. The front of my hair was getting very thin. And I am someone who, every time I go to the barber, it's like they use the thinning shears because my hair is so thick. So I started to notice, Oh,

[00:32:56] Trey Gerrald: I feel like my hair is thinning. Am I really at this point in my life?

[00:33:01] Trey Gerrald: So I started asking some friends and checking around and there is a medication it's called Finasteride.

[00:33:09] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:33:10] Trey Gerrald: I don't know, it's a science word, but there is a medicine that you can take that blocks the protein that covers the pores of the hair particles, which create the hair from not growing. it.

[00:33:25] Trey Gerrald: does something.

[00:33:26] Trey Gerrald: That basically like, re-engineered that process. So it won't create hair where hair is dead. it.

[00:33:36] Trey Gerrald: will regrow the hair where the hair has been blocked by this protein chemical thing that happens. And

[00:33:44] Chelsey Donn: So if we're like on the way out, but we're not out, we can have a chance being like reborn.

[00:33:49] Trey Gerrald: And it's one of those things that the earlier you start blocking out the better, the results.

[00:33:56] Chelsey Donn: Sure.

[00:33:57] Trey Gerrald: So I pulled the plug in December,

[00:33:59] Trey Gerrald: cause I

[00:33:59] Chelsey Donn: pun intended.

[00:34:01] Trey Gerrald: literally I started to get a little paranoid about it. Now, anyone that's on our Patreon supporters, you can see, like I do have a very far receding hairline and I've had that since I was a kid. So I'm not talking. The receding, like I'll never grow new hair here because that has never really existed.

[00:34:21] Trey Gerrald: What has been growing back is the actual hair follicles here where my bangs and my widow peak are, and I will be happy to share some before and afters. It does take several months for the real growth to happen. So anyway, I have been seeing such positive results. I know many people who don't like to communicate about that don't like to share about it.

[00:34:43] Trey Gerrald: I don't really care. Uh, if you're experiencing hair loss, it's a choice nowadays. We're in this great new age of medicine where if you don't want to have thin balding hair and you catch it enough time, you can reverse that. So ForHims.com I have at the time of recording this episode, I have reached out to try to get some sort of deal for all of you listeners.

[00:35:06] Trey Gerrald: Hopefully by the time this is airing, I can plug in, we have a code or something. I'm trying to make that work because I. Really I'm endorsing it. It's made a huge impact on me emotionally. And so for that reason today being brave, I don't like their pronoun usage, but we're just going to go along with that product is great.

[00:35:26] Trey Gerrald: This is it's hymns or hers, but the website is ForHims or ForHers. And that's why you are My Royal Highness.

[00:35:36] Chelsey Donn: Wow So is it just this product that is the solution or is it like I have my pick of the litter. Like maybe I'm like, I don't really want to take that pill, but Ooh, that cream looks interesting.

[00:35:50] Trey Gerrald: Great question. It's actually, it's like a whole consultation situation where you like get on a, like a live Skype video with a doctor after you've answered this whole questionnaire because they, they have multiple solutions based on what it is. don't know. There's different types of hair loss and there's different solutions.

[00:36:09] Trey Gerrald: So I do also, I did purchase a bundle, so I do have shampoo oil that I've actually never even known. And I have the medicine, the medicine tends to have the strongest results. And then obviously it's like, if you do it.

[00:36:21] Trey Gerrald: all, it's the best. But yeah, there solutions that have nothing to do with ingesting medication

[00:36:26] Chelsey Donn: Great.

[00:36:28] Trey Gerrald: and also for hymns and for hers, like they have like erectile dysfunction medicine.

[00:36:33] Trey Gerrald: They have

[00:36:34] Chelsey Donn: I'm going to check out for her. I'm going to see if there's anything there.

[00:36:38] Trey Gerrald: I think J-Lo wants like endorsed for hers. So it's like a real thing.

[00:36:44] Chelsey Donn: okay, cool. Wow. something new today.

[00:36:48] Trey Gerrald: There you go. Well, we did at Quinn, that's another hairy round on the argue a Ferris wheel of woo woo.

[00:37:00] Chelsey Donn: I'm so glad that golden and park, thank so much for joining us today. If you like what you heard, please tell a friend.

[00:37:08] Trey Gerrald: And If you didn't like what you heard, please tell.

[00:37:12] Chelsey Donn: If you'd like to support the production of our show, visit Review That Review dot com slash donate or even a $1 tip is appreciate.

[00:37:23] Trey Gerrald: join our mailing list at Review That Review dot com to stay up-to-date with the goings on and the queen dumb.

[00:37:28] Chelsey Donn: Hit up our voicemail box 1-850-REVIEW-0. You can also follow us on all the socials at the Review Queens. I'm at Chelsey BD and that's Chelsey with a Y.

[00:37:40] Trey Gerrald: And I am at Trey Gerrald.

[00:37:43] Trey Gerrald: On today's after show pod, we are rating and reviewing a five-star review for the Danny DeVito, cardboard cutout life-size standing statement E.

[00:37:57] Chelsey Donn: Stop.

[00:37:59] VOICEOVER: Supercalifragilistic XB.

[00:38:03] Chelsey Donn: my goodness. Trey.

[00:38:07] Trey Gerrald: to find out what made Chelsey say,

[00:38:09] Chelsey Donn: I really feel like, wow, this is the, this is the test. And to find out what made Trey say,

[00:38:16] Trey Gerrald: maybe I should have done this forever episode.

[00:38:26] Chelsey Donn: okay. Oh, crying. Then join our PatreonPage@Patreon.com slash Review That Review to hear our weekly members only after show companion podcast.

[00:38:41] Trey Gerrald: And remember

[00:38:42] Chelsey Donn: Ignore the haters. You're a queen.

[00:38:45] Trey Gerrald: non-specific queen.

[00:38:48] Trey Gerrald: BYE.

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.