TRANSCRIPT of Episode 57: "2x Spicy Hot Ramen Noodles!"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 57: "2x Spicy Hot Ramen Noodles!"


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hello.

[00:00:32] Trey Gerrald: Hi, Chelsey and hello listeners. Welcome once again to Review That Review, we are the podcast dedicated to reviewing...

[00:00:42] Chelsey Donn: Reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:56] Trey Gerrald: That's Chelsey Donn.

[00:00:58] Chelsey Donn: And that's Trey Gerrald

[00:01:00] Trey Gerrald: And together y'all know we are.

[00:01:03] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens!

[00:01:08] Chelsey Donn: y'all know

[00:01:09] Trey Gerrald: Now for access to additional reviews, tidbits, and other fun galavanting about on our weekly members only after show companion podcast, plus access to videos, merch discounts, a whole lot more. Visit our Patreon. All you gotta do is go over to duh! How are you?

[00:01:34] Trey Gerrald: Chelsey? Chels.

[00:01:35] Chelsey Donn: I'm good. It's so funny. Like Trey's been working so hard outside of the podcast that this is really the only time where we get to communicate. So it's like weird.

[00:01:47] Trey Gerrald: I know. I was thinking that today too.

[00:01:49] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, I miss you when I don't see you, but I'm happy that I'm seeing you now. life goes on. Yeah, it's summer. I love summer. Summer is my favorite season.

[00:02:01] Chelsey Donn: How about you

[00:02:01] Trey Gerrald: What's it like in LA in summertime?

[00:02:04] Chelsey Donn: just beautiful. You know, starts the day 75 and sunny, most days then gets warmer from there. I just I'm manifesting the day when I can afford a nice home with a pool, because I just like when summer comes personally, I just want to be parked outside of a pool preferably one. That's like clean and I can vouch for the cleanliness of it.

[00:02:28] Chelsey Donn: So that's, that's like real, real goals in my life. What's what's like, what's your summer. Go-to.

[00:02:37] Trey Gerrald: that's a good question. I feel like my family in South Carolina always was like, we'll go to the beach in the summer. So I always think of summer as like sand and ocean, but there is something I do enjoy about like the wilderness and like, you know, upstate New York. Like there's something like charming about that.

[00:02:55] Chelsey Donn: Yes. Agreed.

[00:02:56] Trey Gerrald: I dunno, I'm so Irish and so pale that, sunburned very quick. So, you know, I summer is like suntan lotion to me. Yeah.

[00:03:05] Chelsey Donn: That makes sense.

[00:03:06] Lodge A Complaint

[00:03:06] Chelsey Donn: I just found out that all suntan lotions are not created equal and I shouldn't be buying one with lots of chemicals. Apparently you're supposed to get like mineral based suntan sunblock, whatever you call it. Yes. Sunscreen. Maybe I could just launch into a complaint with this, but why are there all these products that are like not safe that are on our shelves?

[00:03:28] Chelsey Donn: How is that legal?

[00:03:30] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint.

[00:03:32] Trey Gerrald: Especially when things are like understood to be safe. And then after a while we realized like, oh, actually smoking is bad for you. And it killed.

[00:03:41] Chelsey Donn: I mean, I feel like smoking is one thing, but like when it's like, your deodorant is bad for you and killing you, and you've been using that deodorant for decades, like, it's that kind of stuff that I'm like, how are we able to pass through long enough that we've been using this deodorant for so long? And now it's killing.

[00:03:59] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:04:00] Chelsey Donn: It's crazy. Like, why are we getting away with all of this? I feel like before I buy any product, I need to be so careful of checking the ingredients, you know, unless I'm like indulging for a certain purpose, like I just, I'm in the mood for Cheetos. So I'm going to have some that I know, like, okay, I'm eating radioactive ingredients, but otherwise, if I'm just washing my body, I don't want to feel like I'm polluting myself.

[00:04:24] Chelsey Donn: Um,

[00:04:25] Trey Gerrald: It reminds me of the Olean after.

[00:04:27] Chelsey Donn: oh my God.

[00:04:29] Trey Gerrald: That was ingredients. You've

[00:04:30] Chelsey Donn: Those. Yeah.

[00:04:31] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:04:33] Chelsey Donn: What about you? Try launch into a complainant. Let it off your chest.

[00:04:37] Trey Gerrald: I purchased a very specific laundry detergent for black clothing, and I have come to find out that if you dry dark clothes with light colored dryer balls, you're going to get white light. Oh over black clothes that you'd literally just washed and that's really obnoxious when you have to like go and get one of those, like

[00:05:05] Trey Gerrald: lent rollers.

[00:05:06] Trey Gerrald: specifically before you iron it's like really obnoxious to take something that's sturdy launderette, put it in the dryer and then You pull it out and it's filthy

[00:05:18] Chelsey Donn: You know that this is a big complaint of mine. I have a huge problem with

[00:05:22] Trey Gerrald: really.

[00:05:23] Chelsey Donn: Oh, well we treated hots. Remember because I can't have anything with black fabric because I live up in the Hills. It's very dusty up here. So anything that I have that's black fabric, even if I just leave it about and my room, it gets so linty and I hate it.

[00:05:44] Chelsey Donn: I just hate especially black fabric.

[00:05:47] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. It's tough.

[00:05:49] Chelsey Donn: And I also hate those lint rollers.

[00:05:52] Trey Gerrald: Really why?

[00:05:53] Chelsey Donn: If you have to find the lint roller that I like, that's the.

[00:05:56] Trey Gerrald: Oh

[00:05:57] Chelsey Donn: one. It's I have to conceit with a sticky that like, it's going to stick to things, you know, like I'm going to get an, where I'm supposed to just leave it all.

[00:06:06] Chelsey Donn: Linty and gross until I have to use it the next time. Is that what we're supposed to do?

[00:06:10] Trey Gerrald: yeah. That I usually like tear off the used One, I'm about to use it again.

[00:06:16] Chelsey Donn: Oh, okay. Yeah. I tear it off before. Cause I'm like, Ooh, gross. Got to get rid of it. And then it like sticks to everything.

[00:06:23] Trey Gerrald: I by the end of a regular black button down, I'm like pushing really hard to try to utilize Every remaining sliver of stickiness. Cause I could literally let it roll

[00:06:36] Chelsey Donn: All day.

[00:06:37] Trey Gerrald: forever and feel like, Yeah.

[00:06:39] Chelsey Donn: And there's still like lent there. Like you it's, you have to get to a point where you're just like, whatever. It's good enough. feel like.

[00:06:46] Trey Gerrald: that's how I can play it. It's bothering

[00:06:47] Chelsey Donn: My favorite is when I can get impassioned about your complaint to cause that it feels like I get like a double complaint sash.

[00:06:53] Chelsey Donn: That was great.

[00:06:55] Trey Gerrald: Well, do you want to take this energy and jump into some online reviews?

[00:06:59] Chelsey Donn: I absolutely do. I would love to do that. Try.

[00:07:02] Trey Gerrald: Well then why don't we.

[00:07:05] VOICEOVER: Review That Review.

[00:07:10] Chelsey Donn: As you know, we are your trustee Review! Queens. We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

[00:07:19] Trey Gerrald: we read you the Review! break it down and then rate the impact of the review on a scale from zero to five crowns. It's a very Regal process that we call.

[00:07:30] VOICEOVER: Assess That Kvetch.

[00:07:32] Trey Gerrald: So Chelsey, what have you got for us today?

[00:07:35] Chelsey Donn: who am I? I have got quite the spicy Review! for you all today. Pun intended

[00:07:43] Trey Gerrald: spicy.

[00:07:44] Chelsey Donn: spicy. I brought in an Amazon review for. Sam Jaan to acts spicy hot chicken flavor, ramen Korean spicy noodle, 140 grams, each five packs.

[00:08:02] VOICEOVER:</