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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 57: "2x Spicy Hot Ramen Noodles!"



Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 57: "2x Spicy Hot Ramen Noodles!"

Transcription


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!


THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!


[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hello.

[00:00:32] Trey Gerrald: Hi, Chelsey and hello listeners. Welcome once again to Review That Review, we are the podcast dedicated to reviewing...

[00:00:42] Chelsey Donn: Reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:56] Trey Gerrald: That's Chelsey Donn.

[00:00:58] Chelsey Donn: And that's Trey Gerrald

[00:01:00] Trey Gerrald: And together y'all know we are.

[00:01:03] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens!

[00:01:08] Chelsey Donn: y'all know

[00:01:09] Trey Gerrald: Now for access to additional reviews, tidbits, and other fun galavanting about on our weekly members only after show companion podcast, plus access to videos, merch discounts, a whole lot more. Visit our Patreon. All you gotta do is go over to Patreon.com/ReviewThatReview duh! How are you?

[00:01:34] Trey Gerrald: Chelsey? Chels.

[00:01:35] Chelsey Donn: I'm good. It's so funny. Like Trey's been working so hard outside of the podcast that this is really the only time where we get to communicate. So it's like weird.

[00:01:47] Trey Gerrald: I know. I was thinking that today too.

[00:01:49] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, I miss you when I don't see you, but I'm happy that I'm seeing you now. life goes on. Yeah, it's summer. I love summer. Summer is my favorite season.

[00:02:01] Chelsey Donn: How about you

[00:02:01] Trey Gerrald: What's it like in LA in summertime?

[00:02:04] Chelsey Donn: just beautiful. You know, starts the day 75 and sunny, most days then gets warmer from there. I just I'm manifesting the day when I can afford a nice home with a pool, because I just like when summer comes personally, I just want to be parked outside of a pool preferably one. That's like clean and I can vouch for the cleanliness of it.

[00:02:28] Chelsey Donn: So that's, that's like real, real goals in my life. What's what's like, what's your summer. Go-to.

[00:02:37] Trey Gerrald: that's a good question. I feel like my family in South Carolina always was like, we'll go to the beach in the summer. So I always think of summer as like sand and ocean, but there is something I do enjoy about like the wilderness and like, you know, upstate New York. Like there's something like charming about that.

[00:02:55] Chelsey Donn: Yes. Agreed.

[00:02:56] Trey Gerrald: I dunno, I'm so Irish and so pale that, sunburned very quick. So, you know, I summer is like suntan lotion to me. Yeah.

[00:03:05] Chelsey Donn: That makes sense.

[00:03:06] Lodge A Complaint

[00:03:06] Chelsey Donn: I just found out that all suntan lotions are not created equal and I shouldn't be buying one with lots of chemicals. Apparently you're supposed to get like mineral based suntan sunblock, whatever you call it. Yes. Sunscreen. Maybe I could just launch into a complaint with this, but why are there all these products that are like not safe that are on our shelves?

[00:03:28] Chelsey Donn: How is that legal?

[00:03:30] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint.

[00:03:32] Trey Gerrald: Especially when things are like understood to be safe. And then after a while we realized like, oh, actually smoking is bad for you. And it killed.

[00:03:41] Chelsey Donn: I mean, I feel like smoking is one thing, but like when it's like, your deodorant is bad for you and killing you, and you've been using that deodorant for decades, like, it's that kind of stuff that I'm like, how are we able to pass through long enough that we've been using this deodorant for so long? And now it's killing.

[00:03:59] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:04:00] Chelsey Donn: It's crazy. Like, why are we getting away with all of this? I feel like before I buy any product, I need to be so careful of checking the ingredients, you know, unless I'm like indulging for a certain purpose, like I just, I'm in the mood for Cheetos. So I'm going to have some that I know, like, okay, I'm eating radioactive ingredients, but otherwise, if I'm just washing my body, I don't want to feel like I'm polluting myself.

[00:04:24] Chelsey Donn: Um,

[00:04:25] Trey Gerrald: It reminds me of the Olean after.

[00:04:27] Chelsey Donn: oh my God.

[00:04:29] Trey Gerrald: That was ingredients. You've

[00:04:30] Chelsey Donn: Those. Yeah.

[00:04:31] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:04:33] Chelsey Donn: What about you? Try launch into a complainant. Let it off your chest.

[00:04:37] Trey Gerrald: I purchased a very specific laundry detergent for black clothing, and I have come to find out that if you dry dark clothes with light colored dryer balls, you're going to get white light. Oh over black clothes that you'd literally just washed and that's really obnoxious when you have to like go and get one of those, like

[00:05:05] Trey Gerrald: lent rollers.

[00:05:06] Trey Gerrald: specifically before you iron it's like really obnoxious to take something that's sturdy launderette, put it in the dryer and then You pull it out and it's filthy

[00:05:18] Chelsey Donn: You know that this is a big complaint of mine. I have a huge problem with

[00:05:22] Trey Gerrald: really.

[00:05:23] Chelsey Donn: Oh, well we treated hots. Remember because I can't have anything with black fabric because I live up in the Hills. It's very dusty up here. So anything that I have that's black fabric, even if I just leave it about and my room, it gets so linty and I hate it.

[00:05:44] Chelsey Donn: I just hate especially black fabric.

[00:05:47] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. It's tough.

[00:05:49] Chelsey Donn: And I also hate those lint rollers.

[00:05:52] Trey Gerrald: Really why?

[00:05:53] Chelsey Donn: If you have to find the lint roller that I like, that's the.

[00:05:56] Trey Gerrald: Oh

[00:05:57] Chelsey Donn: one. It's I have to conceit with a sticky that like, it's going to stick to things, you know, like I'm going to get an, where I'm supposed to just leave it all.

[00:06:06] Chelsey Donn: Linty and gross until I have to use it the next time. Is that what we're supposed to do?

[00:06:10] Trey Gerrald: yeah. That I usually like tear off the used One, I'm about to use it again.

[00:06:16] Chelsey Donn: Oh, okay. Yeah. I tear it off before. Cause I'm like, Ooh, gross. Got to get rid of it. And then it like sticks to everything.

[00:06:23] Trey Gerrald: I by the end of a regular black button down, I'm like pushing really hard to try to utilize Every remaining sliver of stickiness. Cause I could literally let it roll

[00:06:36] Chelsey Donn: All day.

[00:06:37] Trey Gerrald: forever and feel like, Yeah.

[00:06:39] Chelsey Donn: And there's still like lent there. Like you it's, you have to get to a point where you're just like, whatever. It's good enough. feel like.

[00:06:46] Trey Gerrald: that's how I can play it. It's bothering

[00:06:47] Chelsey Donn: My favorite is when I can get impassioned about your complaint to cause that it feels like I get like a double complaint sash.

[00:06:53] Chelsey Donn: That was great.

[00:06:55] Trey Gerrald: Well, do you want to take this energy and jump into some online reviews?

[00:06:59] Chelsey Donn: I absolutely do. I would love to do that. Try.

[00:07:02] Trey Gerrald: Well then why don't we.

[00:07:05] VOICEOVER: Review That Review.

[00:07:10] Chelsey Donn: As you know, we are your trustee Review! Queens. We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

[00:07:19] Trey Gerrald: we read you the Review! break it down and then rate the impact of the review on a scale from zero to five crowns. It's a very Regal process that we call.

[00:07:30] VOICEOVER: Assess That Kvetch.

[00:07:32] Trey Gerrald: So Chelsey, what have you got for us today?

[00:07:35] Chelsey Donn: who am I? I have got quite the spicy Review! for you all today. Pun intended

[00:07:43] Trey Gerrald: spicy.

[00:07:44] Chelsey Donn: spicy. I brought in an Amazon review for. Sam Jaan to acts spicy hot chicken flavor, ramen Korean spicy noodle, 140 grams, each five packs.

[00:08:02] VOICEOVER: Supercalifragilistic

[00:08:06] Chelsey Donn: Oh,

[00:08:07] Trey Gerrald: Wait, what?

[00:08:08] Chelsey Donn: I was thinking about spicy food is very divisive. I personally am a huge wimp when it comes to spicy. My spice level is like Pico de Gaia. If we're, I'm giving you guys a bench mark. Okay. I don't like things very spicy, but there are people out there that like really spicy things. So I started looking for spicy foods, spicy food, and I found this product and there were a lot of five-star reviews and I did bring in a five star review because it's quite an impassioned saga.

[00:08:43] Chelsey Donn: So I wanted to share it with you. It is written by. Virtuality

[00:08:48] Trey Gerrald: Oh, no.

[00:08:49] Chelsey Donn: virtuality wrote this five-star review guys. This is, this is where I get confused with the spice lovers out there, but this is a five-star review. The subject is when I tell you this came from the deepest pits of hell, LOL five stars. Okay, here we go.

[00:09:16] Chelsey Donn: Allow me to tell you 800, just like any normal day, I wake up and have breakfast 830.

[00:09:26] Trey Gerrald: No.

[00:09:27] Chelsey Donn: Get a notification that my breakfast is almost here. 900 package gets here with these lovely noodles and a few other things. 10 30 starting to get hungry. And. I got my 10 45 start cooking knees. And I'm excited for a nice kick with my noodles.

[00:09:55] Chelsey Donn: I laugh at my naive self. Now 10 55. I put the cooked noodles in a bowl and pour in the blood red sauce and flakes. I nearly sneeze at the smell of. I have finished assembling the noodles and am ready to dig in. I sink my first bite, 10 56 instant heat and regret. The taste is delicious, but after swallowing that first bite, the heat hits.

[00:10:32] Chelsey Donn: It feels as though the cowboy next door stuck his branding iron on my mouth. Tears while up in my eyes, as I smile in pure painful pleasure, 10 57, the next bite brings no EAs. The Inferno from the previous bite has already made my taste buds more sensitive than a Virgin's first BJ.

[00:10:58] Trey Gerrald: Oh,

[00:10:59] Chelsey Donn: I can feel that heat cranking up and I look into the bowl with fear as I'm not even halfway done.

[00:11:09] Chelsey Donn: 10 58. My next bite, the flavor has gone in like my father. I feel nothing but heat and my stomach feels like Rocky is using it as a punching bag. I go for another bite and my nose decides to become a faucet. I rip into pieces of paper towel and shove them up my nose to stop the flood, but to no avail, the dam has already collapsed.

[00:11:39] Chelsey Donn: 10 59. I finished the noodles and I'm faced with a broth only comparable to the river sticks. I see the flakes floating around and little bits of noodles. I know if those noodles were alive, they be crying like the souls of the damned already in immense pain. I swallow my pride and start singing. In an instant, my mouth and throat turn into lava.

[00:12:10] Chelsey Donn: I feel every millimeter of the devil's sauce run down my throat and hit my stomach. Like an atomic bomb. I am in pain, 11, 10, the pain subsides, but my lips and stomach are still feeling the burn a bit. My day continues on with some relaxation after the five days of work. 1300,

[00:12:36] Trey Gerrald: Um,

[00:12:37] Chelsey Donn: the gurgles have gotten louder and the feeling of certain death is rising upon me in preparation for what's about to happen.

[00:12:45] Chelsey Donn: I write my will and let my family members know. I love them. Lord have mercy on my soul, 1700 in an instant. It hits. Uh, fart that could roast a marshmallow followed by the burn of 1000 suns on my colon. That time has come. I rushed to the bathroom prepared to embrace the Reaper, but the feeling goes away.

[00:13:13] Chelsey Donn: Huh? I must be imagining things. Boom. It hits me. The burn is unreal. I'm currently birthing Satan's child. The. The pressure in my abdomen is like nothing I've ever experienced before. Without a second thought I grabbed some TP to insure the cap to a shore. Oh God, I don't even know this word. Cap. C a P S a I C I N Capson.

[00:13:47] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Whatever to ensure the caption doesn't rest too long on my poor. But it comes in waves. Nothing I can do now can stop this hell. Fire from escaping. My vision starts to blur and my breathing gets heavy. This is, this is how I tie 17, 10. The very essence of the afterlife has been exercised for my system.

[00:14:18] Chelsey Donn: And I now sit here and wallowing pain on my bathroom floor, writing this. To those who dare venture down the dark path of pain, just know it was absolutely worth it and delicious. And I would recommend it to anyone who loves spicy food. As I do, may the Lord have mercy on now? Digestive system, you brave souls now, but in all serious.

[00:14:48] Chelsey Donn: 10 out of 10, these noodles are absolutely amazing. And I recommend them to any spice lovers out there, much love, and I hope you enjoyed the read heart. And then there's a picture of the product. 218 people found this helpful.

[00:15:10] Trey Gerrald: Uh, okay. Wait, cat capsicum is a, a pepper.

[00:15:15] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:15:16] Trey Gerrald: Okay. So this does not sound like a five-star review to me.

[00:15:20] Chelsey Donn: Well, that's what I'm saying about whole spice thing. Okay. This is like, this is why, you know, Trey and I guested on horror movie, survival guide. And I talked about how I don't like horror movies, right. Because why would I sit down and watch something that's going to make me feel worse. That's how I feel about spicy food.

[00:15:39] Chelsey Donn: I could feel good or I could feel terrible by eating something. I'm going to go with feeling good, but I'm telling you Trey, it's like the hotter and the worse and the more nose drain and all that for some people, the better I don't get.

[00:15:55] Trey Gerrald: I mean, I recognize the pleasure and like the dynamic flavor palette and like the kick. And I even like, maybe like, it's so spicy, like my nose was running, like, okay. But like,

[00:16:08] Chelsey Donn: Right.

[00:16:08] Trey Gerrald: All of the pain and the abdomen and the rectum, and like all of this, like torture chronicled in the timeline of this review. As we're going through and we're at like 1700 hours, I'm like, oh, wow.

[00:16:22] Trey Gerrald: Like what a terrible Review! like, I'm like, this experience is so awful. So to then just be like, nah, man, just kidding. Like 10 out of 10. I recommend this to anyone who likes spicy food. Cause it sounds so horrible. It sounds like a day long experience rather than just like the 10 minutes that you're eating.

[00:16:39] Trey Gerrald: And like, this is the best spicy ever. Like it lives with you when you're past that expensive.

[00:16:44] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, thank God. Virtuality mentioned that this was their day off. Can you imagine if they had to go to work?

[00:16:51] Trey Gerrald: Can you imagine being stuck in traffic?

[00:16:53] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God. No, that's a nightmare, but there is an amazing side note. Margaret Cho stand up about being stuck in traffic when she was on a persimmon diet. I highly recommend listening anyway, back to virtual reality.

[00:17:06] Trey Gerrald: Well, okay. So my first, like kickoff here was Confusion at the military time. Do other

[00:17:13] Chelsey Donn: going to say, do we think, do we think that they're a vet? No, that they're from the United States. Do we think that virtual reality is a.

[00:17:20] Trey Gerrald: I mean, how old do you think virtuality is?

[00:17:25] Chelsey Donn: I mean, based on the like, nah, but in all seriousness, I feel like couldn't be older than our age, you know, maybe twenties to early thirties.

[00:17:37] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. For some reason, I don't think of them as being like that mature because I also think that like the older you get, the more like intestinal issues you got. But then again, I don't know. My dad interesting point though, because my dad was in the Vietnam war and he is obsessed with spicy food.

[00:17:53] Trey Gerrald: And it

[00:17:53] Trey Gerrald: really all from being in the military where you have like the most bland food possible. So like hot sauces or saving grace. Cause everything tastes terrible. But yeah, I mean, I was really struck by the 800. I was like, wait, it's just like 1-800-FLOWERS, something.

[00:18:08] Chelsey Donn: I know.

[00:18:08] Trey Gerrald: But then I was really tipped off that this is like outrageous when they say the color was blood red and the flakes, because anytime there are flakes, you know.

[00:18:21] Trey Gerrald: that shit Is going to burn you up.

[00:18:25] Chelsey Donn: pun intended.

[00:18:28] Trey Gerrald: but then I also got lost in the narrative here about. The fear and torment that they felt when they realized they were only halfway through, like, don't have to continue, but then this is a five-star review. So they were into the pain of the experience. I'm supposing.

[00:18:45] Chelsey Donn: well, right. And that's what I've been trying to like consider as we're, you know, going into our evaluating and our crowning is I read the super Calla title. This clearly says very spicy. I imagine you're not visiting this page and less. You have a very high spice tolerance because the product is saying it's very spicy.

[00:19:05] Chelsey Donn: So if your. Somebody that has a really high tolerance. And you read that it still had this effect and you like the thrill of the game. Maybe that would be affective to know like, yo bro, like I was scared and I can handle anything. Like, is it the thrill of the game?

[00:19:21] Trey Gerrald: Maybe, you know, my only sort of comparison here is like, I do actually purchase double caffeine coffee, but what that has done is now it's sort of like with drinking alcohol, it's like, my threshold is so high that.

[00:19:38] Chelsey Donn: what happens with spike.

[00:19:39] Trey Gerrald: Right that like, what are you, what high do you chase after this becomes routine, but I guess One day at a time

[00:19:46] Chelsey Donn: One day at a time and you just keep going. And maybe that's the whole idea is that like people that do have an affinity for products that are spicy. They, they can't be thrilled anymore. This is where they go. Like maybe if you were looking at that double coffee Review! and someone was like, oh my God, I drink whatever coffee, but this coffee like made me reorganize my entire house and I finished my dissertation.

[00:20:09] Chelsey Donn: You might be like going to get that coffee. I don't know. I mean, obviously the elephant in the room that we're sort of dancing around, which obviously we'll talk about in the crowning is that it's way too long. That's really like where they lose us is TMI.

[00:20:23] Trey Gerrald: Especially since this whole timeline sort of adds up to what sounds like a terrible experience. Like I don't imagine abdominal pain, equaling pleasure, unless they explicitly say like, I've never felt this pain in my abdomen before rock on. Yes. This is what I, you know, it seems like they.

[00:20:46] Chelsey Donn: You're

[00:20:46] Trey Gerrald: the hot and spicy, but like they go into such great detail and I was going to ask for shady truthful, like, do we think that these timestamps are accurate or is virtuality doing like a bit?

[00:20:59] Trey Gerrald: Cause like the whole thing about like, I'm going to write my will and I'm going to like leave my assets, like sort of felt like,

[00:21:05] Chelsey Donn: it is a bit it's interesting to me because I'm wondering is this insider baseball?

[00:21:10] Trey Gerrald: um,

[00:21:11] Chelsey Donn: like if you were somebody that was looking for this product who is into this, would you find this funny? They're definitely making a huge stretch for humor here. They just went a little bit long in the joke. Like I think they could have, they could have cut this down to like four or five timestamps and we would have been laughing more.

[00:21:32] Chelsey Donn: Neither of us were really laughing because they just went on and on and on and on and off.

[00:21:38] Trey Gerrald: I, in my opinion, I think that virtuality could have started at like 930. I don't need to know you woke up at This time that you went to get the mail that you opened it, it had been delivered. Then you like opened it Then you put it on the pot, then you like start, like you could just start with within one minute of it going into my mouth and swallowing here I am

[00:21:58] Trey Gerrald: in

[00:21:58] Chelsey Donn: my experience. A hundred percent,

[00:22:00] Trey Gerrald: but true to virtuality swarm.

[00:22:03] Trey Gerrald: Like I appreciate the commitment.

[00:22:05] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:22:05] Trey Gerrald: Like the comment of like non man, like in all seriousness, like 10 out of 10 made me feel like, okay, well then why did you just waste all of my time upfront? That being

[00:22:14] Chelsey Donn: well, I mean, clearly they're saying, I hope you enjoyed the read. Like they, they really were going for like, oh, this is going to be fun for people to read around the campfire type thing,

[00:22:26] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:22:27] Chelsey Donn: you know? And it's sort of a self-deprecating comic, like here's me trying to eat this product and how I reacted to it.

[00:22:37] Chelsey Donn: it's it's it's a little bit trying too hard.

[00:22:39] Trey Gerrald: I will say though, I do believe well, but now I don't know. Cause I do think that did this really occur. I don't know. I think maybe some of the details are just for jokes. Like, I don't know that they were like fearing that they have to finish the rest of the bowl and that just like their father, there was some random joke.

[00:22:58] Trey Gerrald: I didn't understand about

[00:22:59] Chelsey Donn: Oh, that was weird. I didn't understand the father

[00:23:01] Trey Gerrald: I didn't neither, but I do trust that like virtuality thinks that this is very spicy there. I do feel like they really do say 10 out of 10.

[00:23:13] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:23:13] Trey Gerrald: the meat of this Review! felt in congruent or something.

[00:23:17] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I mean, I don't, I, again, like, I think it's the thrill of the game. So for example, my, my older. Who is Israeli had like a huge spice tolerance. And one of my other roommates had this spice with a bullet on it. It was like bullet, like very, very spicy and he would use it and he poured it like all over his food and he poured too much.

[00:23:41] Chelsey Donn: And he was still eating it. Like he was one, not going to let the food go to waste. And too, like, he was, there was a part of him that was enjoying it. But when he got like halfway through, there was a moment where he was like, woo, all right, here we go. Going back in. So I do think that there is, it's a weird masochistic thing where it's like, I am in pain.

[00:24:02] Chelsey Donn: My nose is dripping. My stomach is on fire, but I want more like there, there is something about that. And if you're listening and you're one of these people that loves the spice and you have some insights, please call in and add one of five, zero reviews, zero. Because I really am curious if, like, what is it?

[00:24:20] Chelsey Donn: Is it like the horror movie thing where we just, we liked, or like the rollercoaster thing, all these things that I don't like where the pain of it is, the enjoyment of it.

[00:24:29] Trey Gerrald: Well, I do know that in QS, there used to be like a hot sauce store where you could taste. And they had like, you know.

[00:24:37] Trey Gerrald: 900 varieties. And my sister is a huge, hot sauce person.

[00:24:41] Chelsey Donn: Oh, Mandy, call

[00:24:42] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, Mandy, Mandy,

[00:24:43] Trey Gerrald: you tell us, but like sauce, I feel like is a little bit different than like this packaged noodle ramen thing.

[00:24:50] Trey Gerrald: Like something about that feels even more artificial and dangerous to your body. Because my ultimate thought about the whole timeline was like, what is this doing to your like, health? But I mean,

[00:25:02] Chelsey Donn: Speaking of my complaint, right? I you imagine the chemicals in

[00:25:06] Trey Gerrald: so what was the spelling.

[00:25:07] Chelsey Donn: It was good. The selling and grammar was good, the like 800 all, like, it's just, it was a little hard to wrap your head around, but other than that, spelling and grammar was good.

[00:25:17] Trey Gerrald: I mean,

[00:25:18] Chelsey Donn: not anything.

[00:25:19] Trey Gerrald: of feel like it probably is comment. I mean, it does sound to me like virtuality who chases the hot sauce high and they like are so thrilled with this, which makes me think someone who proclaims to be tough and then finding this to be challenging and loving. Probably like as a common experience, I would think

[00:25:39] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. And it says the subject. When I tell you this came from the pits of hell, LOL, I don't know. It does sort of encapsulate that. I feel like have like considered most things for virtuality. Is there anything we didn't touch on

[00:25:53] Trey Gerrald: just want to say the use of the word gurgles. It makes me so uncomfortable.

[00:25:58] Chelsey Donn: gurgles?

[00:25:58] Trey Gerrald: He taught virtuality talks about the gurgles?

[00:26:01] Trey Gerrald: of their stomach. Like,

[00:26:02] Chelsey Donn: Oh, the gurgle, the stomach gurgling.

[00:26:04] Trey Gerrald: was that five-star. Oh, that just sounds so horrible to me, but okay. I think, Yeah, I think I could crown this.

[00:26:10] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Let's do it.

[00:26:11] Trey Gerrald: All right. So Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards and an effort to be fair and not influence one another.

[00:26:19] Trey Gerrald: We will simultaneously reveal our ratings.

[00:26:25] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating.

[00:26:33] Chelsey Donn: Interesting. Hey, Trey is holding up two crowns. I'm holding up three. Try you go first. Why two crowns for virtuality,

[00:26:39] Trey Gerrald: don't know. I feel like I had just sort of, I I'm trying to not be biased, but the experience of the timeline felt very negative. I feel like having that long of an experience. That I feel like the impact of the hot sauce or the hot noodles lasted much longer than the experience of consuming the hotness, which to me feels awful.

[00:27:09] Trey Gerrald: I, but, so I don't know how much of that is influenced by my bias here because I enjoy, I like hot sauce shore, but I think Saracho is too hot for me. So this just like the worst thing in the

[00:27:19] Chelsey Donn: out of your league.

[00:27:19] Trey Gerrald: Like I can't, even when I'm eating romp, when I'm eating sushi, I can't even eat. The wasabi that's too much for me.

[00:27:26] Trey Gerrald: So like I'm out, but I just said two crowns. Cause ultimately I felt like we were being sent down this fairy tale that was for like comedy sake or like entertainment sake, which they even sort of copped to at the end. Yeah.

[00:27:42] Trey Gerrald: And it felt a little like you're wasting my time. Like, but the impact here is I believe them.

[00:27:48] Trey Gerrald: I think it is really hot. S chasing this high, I would probably buy it. I just you need to like condense, babe. That's all. Um, why did you say three?

[00:27:59] Chelsey Donn: I did the condensed babe. Um, Three, as well. I think that was like the real issue here. I also tried to take myself and my bias out of the equation and that's why I went and gave the extra crown for the three crowns, because in my mind, I always try to pick up. Who is going to be reading this Review!

[00:28:18] Chelsey Donn: and they do not think you're going to be visiting this page unless you're someone that's following the high, because in the description of the product, it says like very spicy two times by see like all these words that are indicative. The audience that is looking at this, they like spice. So for that reason, I went with the Three,, but I had to take off two crowns because it is way too long.

[00:28:43] Chelsey Donn: We could have really used a serious edit and like the winking. And also my, one of my least favorite things, as you know, Is going through a whole long Review! and then having like a one sentence, like NABA really was really good. It reminded me of that poem with the turtle and all that, where it's like, we went through that entire frigging journey.

[00:29:06] Chelsey Donn: And then in the P P P P P S you gave us like the actual Review! and I just don't love that as a style when we've gone on and on and on for so long. So for that reason, I went with three crowns. So I'd say two and a half between the two.

[00:29:21] Trey Gerrald: Makes sense.

[00:29:22] Chelsey Donn: Right for

[00:29:23] Trey Gerrald: Funny. I love that. I maybe I should buy these noodles for my sister and my dad

[00:29:28] Chelsey Donn: I mean, if they love spice, this will be a challenge.

[00:29:31] Chelsey Donn: And I think maybe it would be a good item to buy and look at that. There's the power of influence from virtuality

[00:29:36] Trey Gerrald: up your life.

[00:29:37] Chelsey Donn: spice up your life. Yeah. Spice girls is much more my spice of choice. That was fun. I liked going through that with you try, though we're both not into spices. I love when I bring in reviews that are in neither of our lanes, so we just get to blindly walk through it together.

[00:29:54] Chelsey Donn: Um, all right. My queen, we have officially reached the most Regal portion of our show. Trey. Who are you inducting today for?

[00:30:08] Trey Gerrald: Today, I am going to share a listener's Royal Highness.

[00:30:14] Chelsey Donn: my God. I love that listeners. This is great.

[00:30:17] Trey Gerrald: was submitted by Stacy B art, which you can find on Instagram at Stacy S T a C E Y B E. Art. She makes gorgeous teeny tiny art. So Stacy is recommending this induction, which I thoroughly concur with free chips at Mexican

[00:30:42] Trey Gerrald: restaurant. How have I not thought about this? There is nothing greater. Then when you are at a Mexican restaurant and they just plopped down chips.

[00:30:53] Trey Gerrald: And as Chelsey mentioned before the peak of the Gaia, I also love a cheese dip and I love when they just, when they just you endless refills, it's a little sad when they charge you for refills. But growing up in South Carolina, it was always complimentary. And you would just. You would just get an endless bouquet.

[00:31:13] Trey Gerrald: I want to say that's how much I love chips, but I totally agree. Five stars. All of the restaurants out there that give you free chip refills and free chips at a Mexican restaurant. Think about that. Imagine going to like, well, I guess this happened, does this, when you go to olive garden, do you get free breadsticks?

[00:31:30] Chelsey Donn: unlimited salad and bread. It's techs. If you get an entree

[00:31:34] Trey Gerrald: Okay. Right. I

[00:31:35] Chelsey Donn: or soup.

[00:31:37] Trey Gerrald: You know, I've never thought about this until this moment. I guess some most time, most restaurants she'll get complimentary bread. So I guess chips or the complimentary bread. Huh? I've never thought about

[00:31:48] Chelsey Donn: They are, but again, less and less places are giving you the complimentary bread. I feel like it's like trending. I've been seeing on the menu. It'll be like bread with

[00:31:58] Trey Gerrald: like a bread basket, right? Wait, why is it always a carb?

[00:32:02] Chelsey Donn: Cause it's cheap. And the other brain bustles.

[00:32:08] Trey Gerrald: I re I thank you, Stacy BR I totally concur. I do think that every Mexican restaurant deserves five stars for giving you complimentary chips that only enhances the dining experience and makes you want to order more things. And it makes you want to have a full course meal, you know, and I love that it is one of my favorite about Mexican restaurants or Pico Caio.

[00:32:29] Trey Gerrald: And if you have a white cheese dip, so tacky may, but I Love

[00:32:34] Chelsey Donn: Love it.

[00:32:35] Trey Gerrald: So from Stacy

[00:32:36] Chelsey Donn: Great induction.

[00:32:38] Trey Gerrald: five stars to all of the Mexican restaurants that give You free chips, you are our Royal Highness. today.

[00:32:46] Chelsey Donn: You are our Royal Highness. I love anything complimentary. I'll be honest.

[00:32:51] Trey Gerrald: Very true. Yes. I love the word complimentary. That's a five-star for

[00:32:54] Chelsey Donn: you're gonna just give me something on the house, like a little moose, Boosh or something.

[00:32:58] Trey Gerrald: What's that mean?

[00:32:59] Chelsey Donn: It's like to cleanse the palate. It's the like little food that they give you before you start a meal.

[00:33:05] Trey Gerrald: Like an

[00:33:06] Chelsey Donn: You ever go to like fancy room? I think that the, sometimes it can be as, as Sherbert,

[00:33:12] Trey Gerrald: there a band called Boosh or something, or like,

[00:33:16] Chelsey Donn: it stands for like one bite, I think, or something like that. And the idea is that it's the, you know, the chef has prepared mousse booze, and it's supposed to like, get you excited about them. Anyway, great induction. I mostly love that Stacey passed along this Royal Highness and anyone listening, please slide into our DMS, leave a voicemail.

[00:33:40] Chelsey Donn: We would love to read your Royal Highness or even we can play you one week. If you're going to want to leave it on the voicemail, we'll straight up. Play it for the audience to listen to. So hit us up. Let us know your Royal highnesses. What a

[00:33:53] Trey Gerrald: I concur, please share

[00:33:55] Trey Gerrald: sharing as a

[00:33:57] Chelsey Donn: Sharing is caring.

[00:33:59] Trey Gerrald: All right, queen. We did it. That is another round on the argue as spicy our queue Ferris wheel of life.

[00:34:06] Chelsey Donn: Very, very, very spicy Inferno. Thank you for joining us today. If you like what you heard, please share this podcast with your friends.

[00:34:17] Trey Gerrald: If you didn't like what you heard, tell him enemy.

[00:34:20] Chelsey Donn: If you'd like to support the production of our show, visit Review That Review dot com slash donate where even a dollar tip is much appreciated.

[00:34:31] Trey Gerrald: Join our mailing list at Review That Review dot com to stay up to date with all of the goings on, in the queendom.

[00:34:37] Chelsey Donn: Hit up our voicemail box 1 8 5 0 Review! zero. You can also follow us on all the socials at the Review! Queens. I'm at Chelsey BD.

[00:34:47] Trey Gerrald: And I am at TreyGerrald.

[00:34:50] Trey Gerrald: On today's after show pod, Chelsey and I are going to be rating and reviewing another Review! found on Airbnb. hell.com with the subject,

[00:35:06] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:35:07] Trey Gerrald: got bitten by a rat my sleep at this Airbnb.

[00:35:13] Chelsey Donn: God. Stop it.

[00:35:15] Trey Gerrald: So to find out what made Chelsey say.

[00:35:17] Chelsey Donn: I do think that Shandy has a right to be upset. I mean, it's not her fricking fault that she got bit by a rat and to find out what made Trey say,

[00:35:26] Trey Gerrald: Did old Geller get rabies? Is that why they shoot him? Oops, spoiler.

[00:35:31] Chelsey Donn: then join our patreonPage@Patreon.com slash Review That Review to hear our weekly members only after-show companion podcasts.

[00:35:42] Trey Gerrald: And remember.

[00:35:43] Chelsey Donn: the haters. You're a queen

[00:35:46] Trey Gerrald: John Deere nonspecific queen

[00:35:49] Chelsey Donn: course.

[00:35:50] Trey Gerrald: Bob.

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.


[00:36:11] Chelsey Donn: Now a spicy.

[00:36:13] Trey Gerrald: Spice up your life,

[00:36:14] Chelsey Donn: life, everybody, and every girl spice up your life.

[00:36:18] Trey Gerrald: sick it to the right. Shake it to the left.

[00:36:22] Chelsey Donn: okay. I clearly don't know all the words.

[00:36:25] Trey Gerrald: I see. Yeah. How is that it,

[00:36:28] Chelsey Donn: Spice girls are back. I mean, as if they ever really went away, but they are here to stay to

[00:36:33] Trey Gerrald: but not posh

[00:36:35] Chelsey Donn: is being caused by Pasha itself. Well, no posh and backup, right?

[00:36:40] Trey Gerrald: Not the same one.

[00:36:41] Chelsey Donn: Becca Ms. Paul.

[00:36:42] Trey Gerrald: Right. Bend it like posh.

[00:36:44] Chelsey Donn: it like posh back on.

 

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