Search

TRANSCRIPT of Episode 59: "Color Me Mine"



Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 59: "Color Me Mine"

Transcription


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!


THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!


[00:00:31] Chelsey Donn: Hello

[00:00:33] Trey Gerrald: Hello, and welcome to Review That Review the podcast dedicated to reviewing

[00:00:42] Chelsey Donn: reviews. Yeah, we're just like Cisco and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic, masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:54] Trey Gerrald: that is your lovely host Chelsey Donn.

[00:00:57] Chelsey Donn: And that is your

[00:00:59] VOICEOVER: The

[00:01:00] Trey Gerrald: And together we are your lovely.

[00:01:04] VOICEOVER: review Queens.

[00:01:09] Trey Gerrald: Just ignore that the, for access to additional reviews and tidbits on our weekly members, only after show companion podcast, plus videos, merch discounts, and actually a whole lot more go visit our Patreon. It's where you can support and get exclusive content. All you gotta do is go to Patreon dot com slash Review That Review Chelsey.

[00:01:31] Trey Gerrald: How is ya?

[00:01:32] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God. I'm good. I'm good. I'm feeling like tired and drained a little bit, you know, like sort of swimming through the day, but other than that, can't really complain. How's the car going?

[00:01:45] Trey Gerrald: Oh, my God. I was gonna say, should I call you Dory?

[00:01:48] Trey Gerrald: The car is great.

[00:01:49] Chelsey Donn: Just keep swimming.

[00:01:50] Trey Gerrald: Yes, it's good. I'm happy to have a car. I had to fill it up for the very first time and that was fun and not that bad. So I was happy about that. Thank you, Hyundai. And um, life is good.

[00:02:02] Chelsey Donn: Where were you that you had to fill your own gas? Oh,

[00:02:05] Trey Gerrald: Oh, well, someone had to do it, but like the tank, you know, went to empty.

[00:02:09] Chelsey Donn: Got it. Got

[00:02:09] Trey Gerrald: So I had to drive it somewhere for someone to pump it for me, cuz I am in New Jersey.

[00:02:13] Chelsey Donn: Are you still as irritated about that? Or have you grown? Like, is it, is it as annoying as it once was?

[00:02:19] Trey Gerrald: Well, I might do this as a, uh, Royal Highness at some point further down the line, but I joined this app called gas buddy.

[00:02:27] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Mm-hmm wow.

[00:02:27] Trey Gerrald: They have like a card. So I had to get this card in the mail where you can save like up to like 50 cents per gallon.

[00:02:35] Chelsey Donn: That's a lot.

[00:02:35] Trey Gerrald: Right. But you have an ID number that you have to punch in. So I did have like this anxiety about like, oh my gosh, like, is the person gonna ask me for a zip code, even though it isn't a zip code, it's an ID number.

[00:02:45] Trey Gerrald: And like, are they not gonna know what's happening? Am I gonna have to explain it? And then I'm not gonna be able to save my 8 cents that I thought that I would be saving, but I'm not gonna, you know, I was stressing cuz that's just how I operate in life. But it all worked out.

[00:02:56] Chelsey Donn: Had they seen it before you weren't the first one with

[00:02:59] Trey Gerrald: He, yeah, he must have understood. I made a tiny, teeny little label that said ID number and I put it on there and I laminated it with some tape. Um, but he, he, he still asked me, um, but he said, what's the ID, not what's your zip code. And so I didn't have to have a conversation so that

[00:03:17] Chelsey Donn: Oh good.

[00:03:18] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. Yeah. How were you, how was your car?

[00:03:21] Chelsey Donn: My car is good. No major complaints over here. Thank goodness. Uh, driving around LA traffic, you know, the regular Complaint about that all the time. Do we have anything else we wanna complain about today?

[00:03:35] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, actually I think that it's time for us to both.

[00:03:38] VOICEOVER: Lodge Complaint.

[00:03:40] Trey Gerrald: right, so this is a little bizarre. So I received in the mail, this gorgeous purple envelope. And I was like,

[00:03:49] Trey Gerrald: Ooh. what is this? And it just says my name or current resident. Open this envelope to read this exciting journey of being changed. And it's a little boy.

[00:04:04] Trey Gerrald: So I opened it and it's this self-published book. Nothing else inside just this self-published book called changed. So of course in my.

[00:04:13] Chelsey Donn: Oh, no,

[00:04:14] Trey Gerrald: Non heteronormative world. I assumed this was about being changed from gay to straight,

[00:04:20] Trey Gerrald: which is a journey I have had to endure many times in my life being from the south, having, um, outrageously closed-minded people in positions of power around me.

[00:04:30] Trey Gerrald: I've had to have that conversation much more than I ever should. So I just assumed that's what this was. So I was offended and upset, angry. I was like, what's going on? Is this sent from my stepmom, my ex stepmom. So I did a little Googling. Turns out this is not about being changed from gay to straight.

[00:04:50] Trey Gerrald: This is about being changed by the power of Jesus Christ. If you were born Jewish.

[00:04:57] Chelsey Donn: Stop.

[00:04:58] Trey Gerrald: Literally there's a New York times article a New York post article, tons of articles going all the way back to 2019. This author, Tom canter got cancer. He decided that he needed to cure his spiritual cancer, which was thinking he was Jewish.

[00:05:16] Chelsey Donn: Wow.

[00:05:17] Trey Gerrald: now he wrote this self-published book and he sends it out to Jewish people to tell them about the powers of Jesus Christ. Here's a funny tidbit. I'm not Jewish. So

[00:05:29] Chelsey Donn: to a Jew.

[00:05:31] Trey Gerrald: yes, but David didn't get one. Um, I Donn don't know why I got this in the mail. It's very funny to me that they wasted postage on me. But, you know, whatever, I don't need to go into great details about this.

[00:05:45] Trey Gerrald: If anyone has any experience on getting this in the mail, please, we always ask for people to call in, but will you please, if you know about this, if you've read about this, if you've heard about this, if you received it, please call in and talk to me about this, cuz this is the wildest thing I've ever seen.

[00:06:01] Trey Gerrald: A, I think it's kind of brilliant. B

[00:06:04] Chelsey Donn: Brilliant

[00:06:06] Trey Gerrald: It's brilliant marketing. I think it's brilliant. If you have the budget. Solicit I've wanted to solicit postcards for this very podcast, forcing it on people. That's brilliant. I don't support.

[00:06:17] Chelsey Donn: The message.

[00:06:19] Trey Gerrald: I don't support pushing religion on anyone. I don't support pushing anything on anyone other than listening to this podcast, push that all you want.

[00:06:27] Trey Gerrald: Anyway, that's my Complaint. Donn. Don't send me unsolicited Christian literature. That's atrocious. If you were raised Jewish and you think that's wrong, that's your personal journey? I don't think it's appropriate to like, try to push this. I'm gonna have to cut all of this, but it makes me really angry.

[00:06:48] Trey Gerrald: You are in a cult, call your dad. Anyway, I'm not gonna read this, but I do feel like there's a little victory because they said it to me and I'm not Jewish. Maybe I'm supporting a Jewish agenda because I love Jews. I love Yiddish. I insert myself into that culture constantly, but y'all, I haven't converted and I don't call myself a Christian.

[00:07:08] Trey Gerrald: So I don't know why they gave me this. But, um, thanks Tom canter.

[00:07:12] Chelsey Donn: That's wild.

[00:07:14] Trey Gerrald: Isn't that the weirdest thing,

[00:07:15] Chelsey Donn: think any kind of unsolicited male in general, it's like jarring, you know, what is that? Why, why would you send that to me?

[00:07:23] Trey Gerrald: unless it speaks to you, maybe you're like, cool, but isn't it funny, like for, to title the book changed me too.

[00:07:31] Chelsey Donn: I, 1000% thought that this was gonna be a conversion there, like gay conversion thing. And I was like, oh, they know you're gay. You're in the neighborhood. They're

[00:07:39] Trey Gerrald: Right,

[00:07:40] Chelsey Donn: for you.

[00:07:41] Trey Gerrald: but this is from California Chelsey. So it's not a neighbor. It's a neighbor of yours.

[00:07:46] Chelsey Donn: be getting one too, then maybe it's someone that's listened to the podcast and they're like those Jews,

[00:07:51] Trey Gerrald: Well, your last name isn't Donn. Dewitz it's Donn.

[00:07:54] Chelsey Donn: but like Assess that Kvetch. I don't think

[00:07:58] Trey Gerrald: I know Gerrald Gerrald Stein all ChelseyBD. What is your Complaint today?

[00:08:06] Chelsey Donn: I do have a feeling we've lodged this as a Complaint before, but it needs to be said again. So I was driving in my car and my phone was running outta battery and my charger wasn't working. So I went to the gas station to get a overpriced charger that probably wasn't gonna work anyway.