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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 8: "Cryotherapy: 1 & 5 Star Reviews"

Updated: Sep 17, 2021



Transcript of Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald Episode 8"Cryotherapy: 1 & 5 Star Reviews" for the differently abled and those who prefer to read.


Review That Review with Chelsey Donn and Trey Gerrald

Episode 8

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!


CHELSEY: [00:00:30] Hi.

TREY: [00:00:31] Oh, well, hello there. Welcome to Review That Review the podcast dedicated to reviewing

CHELSEY: [00:00:37] reviews. We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we write and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

TREY: [00:00:50] That's Chelsey Donn,

CHELSEY: [00:00:51] and that's Trey Gerrald,

TREY: [00:00:53] and together, we're

VOICEOVER: [00:00:55] The Review Queens

TREY: [00:00:59] Chelsey girl. How's your week been?

CHELSEY: [00:01:02] My week has been so good. I love the summer. I missed the summer so much last year. I just feel like the summer is when I get to see my friends and do things. And I just feel so grateful that I got to do things. I went to the pool. I went to the Hollywood bowl, which was like a little bit of a nightmare, you know, parking as I'll get into that more later, but it was just so it was just so fun and so nice to be around friends. And I just love the summer. How about you? How was your week?

TREY: [00:01:34] I'm doing good. I fell asleep yesterday, taking a nap in the middle of the day. And Hunter, the new puppy was curled up in my arm pit and David took a picture it was so cute.

CHELSEY: [00:01:48] that's so... I'm getting a puppy on Wednesday. I can't even believe it two days away..

TREY: [00:01:51] I I'm just kvelling for you.

CHELSEY: [00:01:54] Thank you. I'm so excited. Well, you know, we can't always be our best Brene Brown, you know, meditative selves. Sometimes we have opinions about things too, that we're a little upset about. That brings us to,

VOICEOVER: [00:02:09] Lodge A Complaint!

TREY: [00:02:11] I want to hear about this parking at the Hollywood Bow l, which I'm inferring is going to be a complaint.

CHELSEY: [00:02:16] We actually, I think the parking in the Hollywood bowl, it's going to actually come up with my Royal Highness. A little bit later.

TREY: [00:02:22] Oh my God. Okay. Okay. Okay. Please lead yourself. I want to hear everything.

CHELSEY: [00:02:26] Okay. Well, I'm just going to complain today about how, I don't know if this is a California thing or if this is an everywhere thing, but people do not use turn signals here. It's not a thing that people... it's optional. Like the directional is something that I don't know if they don't teach it in driving school here, or people are just completely reckless, but they do not use turn signals, which was a little bit of a problem when I was heading to the Hollywood bowl. And people were just kind of cutting me off because you just make your own rules and it would have been helpful. Luckily I'm a defensive driver so I can handle it, but it's rude.

TREY: [00:03:07] I mean, it's a lot of like strain and tension on your fingers and wrists to have to like knock the little handle up and down to turn signal. You know?

CHELSEY: [00:03:17] I don't know. I just, I really don't think you think it's effort.

TREY: [00:03:20] No, I was being facetious.

CHELSEY: [00:03:22] Thank god. I just, I don't understand. And what's funny is I remember I was TA I was telling this to a friend one time in LA and she was like, no, I've had the opposite experience. Like I wasn't using my turn signal in a parking lot. And this guy followed me around the entire parking lot. And then finally yelled at me for not using my turn signal inside of a parking lot, which I thought was excessive and I felt bad. Cause I was like, Hmm, I'm not like I wouldn't chase you down to tell you you've done wrong, but I get it. Like we should just, just use that. Why wouldn't you use it?

TREY: [00:03:57] well, that's the real question here. Why would you not do it?

CHELSEY: [00:04:00] Yeah. So I'm lodging a complaint against people that don't use turn signals, officially!

TREY: [00:04:07] Complaint lodged, girl.

CHELSEY: [00:04:09] Thank you. Do you have anything you want to get off your chest today, Trey?

TREY: [00:04:13] Yeah. I don't know how it has taken me this long to lodge this complaint, because this is on the tippy tippy, tippy top of things that will literally turn me from cool and collected to Malificent... when people push, send on text messages, when they mean to put a period or an exclamation point or a comma. Don't send me 17 text messages in a row when it could be one paragraph. I don't know why you're chuckling, because I'm actually so mad. It makes me furious. I was a collection of the most common infuriation points in my life. Like if there was like a Venn diagram, it would be screaming to David that someone has texted me three times in a row, especially when you're driving and you're trying to use Waze.

CHELSEY: [00:05:13] Yes!

TREY: [00:05:13] And then someone, yeah. Like, oh my gosh, bling, I've meant to tell you bling. The other day I went to bling, sorry. Auto-correct bling ducking me bling. It's like Jesus Christ. I'm not trying to be funny about this. I am literally enraged. It makes me fur... do you think that my day I have enough time in my day for you to send me 16 text messages when it could just be a paragraph. Oh my God. If you have my number and you text me and you're guilty of this, please stop, please. I cannot take it. Oh my God. I'm I just turned into my mom. When my mom gets mad, she turns into a Chihuahua and I literally just heard myself do that. Ugh.

CHELSEY: [00:06:04] I just love how empassioned you are about that.

TREY: [00:06:06] I'm not playing up for effect. It makes me so mad.

CHELSEY: [00:06:11] This is a genuine, this is a genuine problem. I get it. I'm on a group text, my sister, you know, sometimes we'll send multiple texts and then all of a sudden you look down and you're like, I have 68 text messages. Like, how is that possible?

TREY: [00:06:23] Yeah. I've left a bunch of group texts. Cause that that's just,

CHELSEY: [00:06:26] yeah, group text.... Like returning to a group text and then seeing you have anything in the high double digits, God forbid a triple digit, it's happened, it's very anxiety inducing. So I, I feel you, I also don't really understand that. People are just not thinking they're just like, let me just continue to text. They don't realize that it's like, ding, ding, ding, or like interrupting your waze.

TREY: [00:06:49] If you were a texter like that, this podcast wouldn't be happening,

CHELSEY: [00:06:52] I'm a paragraph texter, honestly,

TREY: [00:06:55] which I appreciate. That's never overwhelming to me. I mean, unless you're a crazy person, have you ever gotten a crazy long text from someone and it says see more and you have to open its own screen?

CHELSEY: [00:07:04] Oh, That I don't think I've ever seen.

TREY: [00:07:06] I know someone who does that there's stuff going on there for them, but when you get a text from them, it's so long that at the bottom, it says "See More ", and you have to click it and a whole new screen pops up.

CHELSEY: [00:07:19] Yeah. And that's, that's why it's like, it's, it's gotta be a healthy balance. Right? Cause like I'm looking at my phone to read attacks and it's too long. And I just wanted to do a quick lookie, you know, before I had an appointment, I'm not reading that, which I had a good friend of mine. Actually my friend Adrian taught me this trick, which is like very helpful. If anyone doesn't know it or maybe everybody knows it. And I'm just the only one. You can pin a text message! So it like stays at the top. I can't, you can't make a text message unread. So you know, to respond, but you can pin it so that it sits at the top.

TREY: [00:07:54] How?

CHELSEY: [00:07:55] So, if you're on your text messages.

TREY: [00:07:57] Yeah, I'm looking.

CHELSEY: [00:07:58] If anyone's listening and this is helpful

TREY: [00:08:01] ...on an iPhone...

CHELSEY: [00:08:02] on an iPhone, if you're opening the messages app.

TREY: [00:08:05] Yeah. I'm on yours.

CHELSEY: [00:08:06] Okay. Oh wait, no, go back to like where it's the list of all the people, yeah. And then hold down and scroll your finger to the right....

TREY: [00:08:15] Pin! Oh my God.

CHELSEY: [00:08:17] And then you just press that and then it puts you see how like puts it at the top.

TREY: [00:08:21] Whoa. I never knew that you can also mute people.

CHELSEY: [00:08:25] Yes! You can do that. But the pinning is very nice. Cause it's like sometimes if somebody does send a really long, I'm like, Ugh, I don't have time to read that right now.

TREY: [00:08:33] I've got to get back to that.

CHELSEY: [00:08:34] I'm going to put a pin in you until later.

TREY: [00:08:37] I feel better. And thank you for teaching me something. And please never text me multiple times in a row. Even if you think it's funny, I'm not being comical.

CHELSEY: