Search

TRANSCRIPT of Episode 8: "Cryotherapy: 1 & 5 Star Reviews"

Updated: Sep 17, 2021



Transcript of Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald Episode 8"Cryotherapy: 1 & 5 Star Reviews" for the differently abled and those who prefer to read.


Review That Review with Chelsey Donn and Trey Gerrald

Episode 8

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!


CHELSEY: [00:00:30] Hi.

TREY: [00:00:31] Oh, well, hello there. Welcome to Review That Review the podcast dedicated to reviewing

CHELSEY: [00:00:37] reviews. We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we write and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

TREY: [00:00:50] That's Chelsey Donn,

CHELSEY: [00:00:51] and that's Trey Gerrald,

TREY: [00:00:53] and together, we're

VOICEOVER: [00:00:55] The Review Queens

TREY: [00:00:59] Chelsey girl. How's your week been?

CHELSEY: [00:01:02] My week has been so good. I love the summer. I missed the summer so much last year. I just feel like the summer is when I get to see my friends and do things. And I just feel so grateful that I got to do things. I went to the pool. I went to the Hollywood bowl, which was like a little bit of a nightmare, you know, parking as I'll get into that more later, but it was just so it was just so fun and so nice to be around friends. And I just love the summer. How about you? How was your week?

TREY: [00:01:34] I'm doing good. I fell asleep yesterday, taking a nap in the middle of the day. And Hunter, the new puppy was curled up in my arm pit and David took a picture it was so cute.

CHELSEY: [00:01:48] that's so... I'm getting a puppy on Wednesday. I can't even believe it two days away..

TREY: [00:01:51] I I'm just kvelling for you.

CHELSEY: [00:01:54] Thank you. I'm so excited. Well, you know, we can't always be our best Brene Brown, you know, meditative selves. Sometimes we have opinions about things too, that we're a little upset about. That brings us to,

VOICEOVER: [00:02:09] Lodge A Complaint!

TREY: [00:02:11] I want to hear about this parking at the Hollywood Bow l, which I'm inferring is going to be a complaint.

CHELSEY: [00:02:16] We actually, I think the parking in the Hollywood bowl, it's going to actually come up with my Royal Highness. A little bit later.

TREY: [00:02:22] Oh my God. Okay. Okay. Okay. Please lead yourself. I want to hear everything.

CHELSEY: [00:02:26] Okay. Well, I'm just going to complain today about how, I don't know if this is a California thing or if this is an everywhere thing, but people do not use turn signals here. It's not a thing that people... it's optional. Like the directional is something that I don't know if they don't teach it in driving school here, or people are just completely reckless, but they do not use turn signals, which was a little bit of a problem when I was heading to the Hollywood bowl. And people were just kind of cutting me off because you just make your own rules and it would have been helpful. Luckily I'm a defensive driver so I can handle it, but it's rude.

TREY: [00:03:07] I mean, it's a lot of like strain and tension on your fingers and wrists to have to like knock the little handle up and down to turn signal. You know?

CHELSEY: [00:03:17] I don't know. I just, I really don't think you think it's effort.

TREY: [00:03:20] No, I was being facetious.

CHELSEY: [00:03:22] Thank god. I just, I don't understand. And what's funny is I remember I was TA I was telling this to a friend one time in LA and she was like, no, I've had the opposite experience. Like I wasn't using my turn signal in a parking lot. And this guy followed me around the entire parking lot. And then finally yelled at me for not using my turn signal inside of a parking lot, which I thought was excessive and I felt bad. Cause I was like, Hmm, I'm not like I wouldn't chase you down to tell you you've done wrong, but I get it. Like we should just, just use that. Why wouldn't you use it?

TREY: [00:03:57] well, that's the real question here. Why would you not do it?

CHELSEY: [00:04:00] Yeah. So I'm lodging a complaint against people that don't use turn signals, officially!

TREY: [00:04:07] Complaint lodged, girl.

CHELSEY: [00:04:09] Thank you. Do you have anything you want to get off your chest today, Trey?

TREY: [00:04:13] Yeah. I don't know how it has taken me this long to lodge this complaint, because this is on the tippy tippy, tippy top of things that will literally turn me from cool and collected to Malificent... when people push, send on text messages, when they mean to put a period or an exclamation point or a comma. Don't send me 17 text messages in a row when it could be one paragraph. I don't know why you're chuckling, because I'm actually so mad. It makes me furious. I was a collection of the most common infuriation points in my life. Like if there was like a Venn diagram, it would be screaming to David that someone has texted me three times in a row, especially when you're driving and you're trying to use Waze.

CHELSEY: [00:05:13] Yes!

TREY: [00:05:13] And then someone, yeah. Like, oh my gosh, bling, I've meant to tell you bling. The other day I went to bling, sorry. Auto-correct bling ducking me bling. It's like Jesus Christ. I'm not trying to be funny about this. I am literally enraged. It makes me fur... do you think that my day I have enough time in my day for you to send me 16 text messages when it could just be a paragraph. Oh my God. If you have my number and you text me and you're guilty of this, please stop, please. I cannot take it. Oh my God. I'm I just turned into my mom. When my mom gets mad, she turns into a Chihuahua and I literally just heard myself do that. Ugh.

CHELSEY: [00:06:04] I just love how empassioned you are about that.

TREY: [00:06:06] I'm not playing up for effect. It makes me so mad.

CHELSEY: [00:06:11] This is a genuine, this is a genuine problem. I get it. I'm on a group text, my sister, you know, sometimes we'll send multiple texts and then all of a sudden you look down and you're like, I have 68 text messages. Like, how is that possible?

TREY: [00:06:23] Yeah. I've left a bunch of group texts. Cause that that's just,

CHELSEY: [00:06:26] yeah, group text.... Like returning to a group text and then seeing you have anything in the high double digits, God forbid a triple digit, it's happened, it's very anxiety inducing. So I, I feel you, I also don't really understand that. People are just not thinking they're just like, let me just continue to text. They don't realize that it's like, ding, ding, ding, or like interrupting your waze.

TREY: [00:06:49] If you were a texter like that, this podcast wouldn't be happening,

CHELSEY: [00:06:52] I'm a paragraph texter, honestly,

TREY: [00:06:55] which I appreciate. That's never overwhelming to me. I mean, unless you're a crazy person, have you ever gotten a crazy long text from someone and it says see more and you have to open its own screen?

CHELSEY: [00:07:04] Oh, That I don't think I've ever seen.

TREY: [00:07:06] I know someone who does that there's stuff going on there for them, but when you get a text from them, it's so long that at the bottom, it says "See More ", and you have to click it and a whole new screen pops up.

CHELSEY: [00:07:19] Yeah. And that's, that's why it's like, it's, it's gotta be a healthy balance. Right? Cause like I'm looking at my phone to read attacks and it's too long. And I just wanted to do a quick lookie, you know, before I had an appointment, I'm not reading that, which I had a good friend of mine. Actually my friend Adrian taught me this trick, which is like very helpful. If anyone doesn't know it or maybe everybody knows it. And I'm just the only one. You can pin a text message! So it like stays at the top. I can't, you can't make a text message unread. So you know, to respond, but you can pin it so that it sits at the top.

TREY: [00:07:54] How?

CHELSEY: [00:07:55] So, if you're on your text messages.

TREY: [00:07:57] Yeah, I'm looking.

CHELSEY: [00:07:58] If anyone's listening and this is helpful

TREY: [00:08:01] ...on an iPhone...

CHELSEY: [00:08:02] on an iPhone, if you're opening the messages app.

TREY: [00:08:05] Yeah. I'm on yours.

CHELSEY: [00:08:06] Okay. Oh wait, no, go back to like where it's the list of all the people, yeah. And then hold down and scroll your finger to the right....

TREY: [00:08:15] Pin! Oh my God.

CHELSEY: [00:08:17] And then you just press that and then it puts you see how like puts it at the top.

TREY: [00:08:21] Whoa. I never knew that you can also mute people.

CHELSEY: [00:08:25] Yes! You can do that. But the pinning is very nice. Cause it's like sometimes if somebody does send a really long, I'm like, Ugh, I don't have time to read that right now.

TREY: [00:08:33] I've got to get back to that.

CHELSEY: [00:08:34] I'm going to put a pin in you until later.

TREY: [00:08:37] I feel better. And thank you for teaching me something. And please never text me multiple times in a row. Even if you think it's funny, I'm not being comical.

CHELSEY: [00:08:45] I mean, I get it, like it's annoying, but I, but I'm noticing that like this annoys you to such a degree that I think there should be like, you should have a boundaries, Boundary Boss, non-negotiable list that you pass along. It should be on your business cards. Like don't even try it. Not,

TREY: [00:09:03] it should be a saved text response that when someone's doing it, I can just, sorry. Trey's unavailable because you've enraged him. Please do not send multiple texts. Maybe I'll do that. Okay. All right.

CHELSEY: [00:09:14] Great.

TREY: [00:09:15] Exhale.

CHELSEY: [00:09:15] Okay. So in honor of releasing complaints out into the world, I think we should let some other people's complaints fly,

TREY: [00:09:24] as you all know, Chelsey and I are your trusty Review Queens. We bring you reviews from the internet

CHELSEY: [00:09:30] and we dissect the nitty gritty.

TREY: [00:09:33] Then we rate them on a scale from one to five crowns. It has a very Regal process called...

VOICEOVER: [00:09:38] Asses That Kvetch!

TREY: [00:09:40] All right. So who goes first today?

CHELSEY: [00:09:43] Wait, Queen, did you know that today? Is another Special Edition Episode! I just channeled Oprah so hard. Love you, Oprah, but it is, it's a special edition episode. What does that mean?

TREY: [00:10:01] Oh my gosh. It's another Special Edition Epi!. That means that today, Chelsey and I are both covering a one and a five star review on the same top, top!

CHELSEY: [00:10:12] That's... I love all these abbreviations that you come up with.

I hope people listening to them appreciate them as much as I do. Okay. That's right. For this VERSUS EPISODE, I selected the one-star and Trey selected the five-star review. So to determine who reads first, we're going to flip that quarter and we'll announce the winner. So I think the last time I called it an in the air.

TREY: [00:10:38] All right. So I'm going to say... TAILS!

CHELSEY: [00:10:39] Call it in the air. You said tails?

TREY: [00:10:42] Oh my God. It is tails

CHELSEY: [00:10:43] It's Tails. Okay. So this is unusual because now, I actually like that you won, I was hoping you would, because we're going to get to hear the five-star review before we hear the one star review, which we'd never done before.

TREY: [00:10:55] I'm really glad that you are glad about this because instantly when I saw that it was tails, I felt regretful that I won. So I'm glad that you're glad

CHELSEY: [00:11:02] Oh, I'm thrilled. I think I'm very curious what happens when we, when we do this in reverse, because why not start with the positive and go from there. So,

TREY: [00:11:12] and end on the horrifying. All right, girl. Well, I'm ready to Review That Review. How about you?

CHELSEY: [00:11:18] Let's do it, I'm so ready!

VOICEOVER: [00:11:22] Review That Review.

TREY: [00:11:26] All right. So today Chelsey Donn and Trey Gerrald have chosen to cover a place in Los Angeles. It is called Cryohealthcare.

CHELSEY: [00:11:36] Yes.

TREY: [00:11:37] And I am going to read you this five star review from Alessandra D. And this is from Yelp. Okay. So this review was written on April 28th, 2017.

Update May 6th, 2017. It's now been two weeks since my accident with my hand and I am astounded...

CHELSEY: [00:12:04] I'm sorry...

Okay.

VOICEOVER: [00:12:15] Okay.

TREY: [00:12:24] Oh, okay. Here we go. All right, the

CHELSEY: [00:12:28] We should honor Alessandra and her hand. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not laughing.

TREY: [00:12:33] She's the Five-star okay. The five star. All right. I don't, I just have the giggles. It's not even about Alessandra D. Okay. Okay. It's now been two weeks since my... I'm in trouble. I can't do it.

CHELSEY: [00:12:51] It's fine. You're going to do it.

Pretend like you're Meryl and go.

TREY: [00:12:57] Oh, that's good. Okay. It's now been two weeks since my accident with my hand... oh no.. Okay. Okay. I'm literally covering the screen so I can't see you. Oh, okay. Okay.

CHELSEY: [00:13:10] Yeah. Cover me.

Update May 6th, 2017. It's now been two weeks since my accident with my hand.

You can hear the dogs now. Yeah, just learning to bark and it's really annoying. This is going to be crazy content for the Patreon because we're releasing unedited, full recordings for our patrons, and this is going to be... good first sentence. Oh geez. All right. So let's just get serious.

I'm going to also channel Meryl would be a really good scene partner, Trey.

TREY: [00:13:55] will you just like maybe where you mute at the, just so I can get past the hand... I heard you snicker and it made me laugh.

CHELSEY: [00:14:06] I I'm muting I'm muting.

TREY: [00:14:07] Okay. All right. And I've covered Chelsey so I can't see her. Okay. Update May 6th, 2017. It's now been two weeks since my accident with my hand and I am astounded by how much better I am. I have continued going to get the local cryotherapy concentrated on my hand, and the swelling continues to go down and my mobility and ability to bend my fingers increase. Thank God. The last two times they tried a new machine on me in addition to the cryo. And that seems to be helping as well. It's called 'Salooma' parenthesis. No clue how to spell it. It's like this light therapy that has healing agents. And I've noticed when I do that right after the cryo, it warms me back up and the next morning, my hand feels a vast improvement . Smiley face. I am happy. I'm not done though. Dash, I still have a long road ahead of me, but hopefully it will be shortened. Stay tuned, dot dot dot.

Enter, I never believed in quote unquote gimmicky type stuff, but man has this place changed my life. I crushed my two fingers in a heavy car door. No, we've all been there, Alessandra. Oh no, here we go again. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

CHELSEY: [00:15:33] I'm gonna mute!

TREY: [00:15:36] Okay. Alisandra D come on. I've done. I've literally done that. So it's okay. Okay. I crushed my... it's just the visual. I crushed my two fingers in a heavy car door last Saturday. The pain was unbearable. And indescribable, as you can imagine, my fingers were swollen.

What is that? Okay. Okay. My fingers were swollen. Half numb, half throbbing, and on there was to turning black purple and blue. I went straight to the ER of Cedars Sinai hospital. And they said the only thing that I can do it, ice it constantly and take painkillers. One of the doctors suggested I try cryotherapy. I gave it a shot. They basically told me that this localized cryotherapy machine that has a wand and concentrate on a specific body part will be like, I have iced my hand for 24 hours that day, as opposed to 10 minutes with the machine. After my first visit the swelling subsided. And I felt a bit better. After my second treatment, I took my splint off. The swelling is even less and I can move my fingers again. Five exclamation marks.

It's unreal. The cool air accelerated the healing process so much. I am in awe. And when I went to, they suggested that I try this other machine called the Beamer or Beamer, and it looks like a padded yoga mat that has an electromagnetic field that is supposed to improve circulation and help heal the body and bruising. All I have to say is, wow, not sure which one did, which, or if the combo of the two machines did the trick, but my finger is so much better after only two visits, I am going to continue and see how quickly I can finish the recovery process. The hand specialist who saw me yesterday and last Sat, the day of the accident, was shocked at my progress. Woo, woo.

Enter unrelated dash. And I decided to get a B12 shot just to try it. Dash, I didn't feel a think. In my butt cheek and I had a crazy amount of energy. Dash, loved it. Smiley face.

I've never had such a hard time getting through a review. Wow. There were a lot of misspellings randomly.

CHELSEY: [00:18:23] Yes, I noticed that. And first of all, I like to say, I'm sorry, Alessandra. that I was laughing. Like I actually really, really feel your pain. I have an injury in one of my fingers. I think I might've even talked about it on a previous episode where it's like, it's just hurt so bad. So now after hearing this, like, I honestly might be inspired to go over to Cryotherapy because if it helps. yes,

TREY: [00:18:45] I do also just want to say, I felt myself turning into a valley girl in reading that I think maybe from, like, the 'woo-hoo' and the smiley face, but I actually picked this review because I am a person who has no idea what cryotherapy is. And I appreciated that Alessandra D. Is coming from a place of like, I don't know what this is, but oh my God, is it helping? So I just want to clarify, like, I'm not meaning to poke fun at them in this interpretation that I gave, because they are as clueless about it as I am. So it is, it is funny to me that, um, Alessandra D says that the pain was unbearable and indescribable, but then continues to try to describe it.

CHELSEY: [00:19:26] ...describe it, I know it's funny. I don't know why, like I got this feeling when you were reading it, it felt very like diary entry to me, especially when we got to the point where she was like, I am happy. I'm not through though. You know what I mean? Like, it just seemed like something I would like written to myself in a diary.

TREY: [00:19:46] It feels to me like Alessandra D is my girlfriend where at brunch, she like has her hand up because you can't lay it flat or else the circulation doesn't work and we have mimosas and she's like, ' Trey, you have got to try this crazy thing. I know it's very LA, but like, girl, my hand is like, recovering, this is crazy!' Like that's the feeling I have, she ends the update with stay tuned. Like it is a journal interest. She's she's like, this is her YouTube series of the progress.

CHELSEY: [00:20:16] Exactly. And then I had a question about that because I know that this was an updated review. So like, which part of it was updated. Like we wrote that the first part.

And then the second part that you were reading was AF...opposite.

TREY: [00:20:27] See, I tried to read it how it is presented here. So, the update is just the very beginning about like the original review was I never believed in giving context. And then the update was, Hey, it's been two weeks and everything is great.

CHELSEY: [00:20:41] That makes sense, Okay, cool. Cool. Cool. I just wanna make sure, I think what's, what's sort of tickles me is that obviously Alessandra was having quite a few problems with spelling and grammar and that kind of stuff, but she kept referencing it back to herself. Like she would write like, "Solooma", like no clue how to spell it or like Bemur or Beamer, which I'm assuming was like multiple spellings of that word, so I feel like Alessandra was just someone in school that didn't do great on the spelling. So she wanted to be like, I know it might be wrong, but like you get it. You got what I'm saying?

TREY: [00:21:14] Well, that's also funny to me cause it's like, you're writing this on the internet so you could probably Google "Solooma". So do you want that get

CHELSEY: [00:21:22] Maybe she's typing it on her phone and also like her hand is, you know....

TREY: [00:21:25] Oh, that's true. Right. She only has one functioning hand. Wait. So do you want to guess the two different ways that Alessandra D spelled. Beemer?

CHELSEY: [00:21:33] Yeah, I can. Um, I will, I would like to guess, so I'm going to guess one way was B E E M E R and then the second way was B E A M E R.

TREY: [00:21:43] No. So the first one is yes, but then the parenthetical is B E M E R.

CHELSEY: [00:21:48] Bemmer?

TREY: [00:21:49] Yep, mmmhmm. Okay.

CHELSEY: [00:21:51] Okay. Well,

TREY: [00:21:53] I will tell you that this review I find to be incredibly valuable. I think Alessandra D has spoken to me because I literally don't know what cryotherapy is. So I do feel like I am relating to Alessandra and this review, because Alessandra is like, I don't like gimmicky stuff. I get that everything becomes a fad and it's sort of like, what's really helping, you know, it's like wheat bread is better and then it's suddenly like the bread isn't better. And like, whatever, I actually appreciate that it as a journal entry. And also like, I think it's hilarious and entertaining that it ends with this is unrelated, but I did get a B12 shot. I had nothing in my butt, but I have a lot of energy because I've considered getting a B12 shot and I haven't, but that also wasn't a misspelling. It says I didn't feel a think.

CHELSEY: [00:22:38] Yes. I heard the think.

TREY: [00:22:40] A 'K'. Instead of a 'G'

CHELSEY: [00:22:41] I, I appreciated the Alessandra explained several of the machines to us. I felt like through her experience, even when I first looked this up, I didn't realize that there was going to be multiple machines. I thought it was just going to be traditional cryotherapy, which I've always imagined to you just like walk into this. I don't know,

TREY: [00:23:01] freezer?

CHELSEY: [00:23:01] Like freezer, good way of putting it. You, you walk into a freezer that your head sticks out of and that's it. And I liked knowing that this place had an, uh, localized option for cryo, with which feels a lot more tolerable. I don't like being cold. That's why I moved to California. If I was having these fears and I read this review, I might think like, oh, it's not just the image of what I thought it was. It can be so many other things. And it seems like this particular place. They do use different modalities and they have the B12 as well. So it seems like more of a holistic approach than just word. We just rent out these machines and that's it.

TREY: [00:23:44] How I received that information was I'm going to want to purchase ad-ons. If I am buying a half hour slot to do this cryo therapy machine, they're going to be like, oh, we have these ad-ons like, you can do this machine or this machine. So like go in expecting that I'm going to probably be enticed to drop a little more money. Like when you go to a nail salon and they're like, oh, do you want to do the charcoal bath for your feet? And you're like,

CHELSEY: [00:24:11] Or they're like, do you want to do the callus remover? And you're like, no. And then they look at you, like, you want to just leave that on there? Yeah. You're like, oh, I guess, I guess. Yes. Callous remover.

TREY: [00:24:22] Do you think Alessandra is like a planted. Do you think this is like a relative of the owner? Or do you think this is real?

CHELSEY: [00:24:28] I think if it were a relative, I mean, I know we usually take points away for spelling and grammar and I still might, but I feel like if this were a relative or somebody involved, they would have like passed it around.

TREY: [00:24:40] That is so astute. Oh my God. I, I totally agree with you with that.

CHELSEY: [00:24:45] Right? Like it's like, it was, unpolished in a way that feels right.

TREY: [00:24:49] Yeah. And there, there does seem to be a lack of self-awareness. To like a delightful area with Alessandra D like I get a totally bubbly sense sensibility about them and their comfortability with being authentic about like, I was ignorant to this, but oh my gosh, it's helping. And I'll keep you updated. It feels truthful.

CHELSEY: [00:25:09] Everybody has had that experience. We closed the car on or hand and, oh, it's the worst. And like, I'm literally still dealing with pain right now from repeatedly doing that over and over again. So I think it's very relatable and I can see that Alessandra would be a real person. That's like, oh my God. I found something that fixes an issue that maybe other people have. And so I'm empowered to tell people about it.

TREY: [00:25:36] I agree.

CHELSEY: [00:25:36] Was there anything specific In Alexandra's review about any of the therapists that she worked with or anything like that. Did she speak other than giving us the examples of the machines that you talk about?

TREY: [00:25:50] I'm wondering if this is a leading question for the one-star I'm curious, but no, there is nothing said about anyone specifically at the location.

CHELSEY: [00:25:59] Okay. Or like cost or anything like that. They didn't comment on....

TREY: [00:26:03] No, but it does occur to me that Alessandra D like had a high bill,

CHELSEY: [00:26:08] like you're saying that we're just doing mathematics right now between you and I, all the services that she's getting seemed like they're expensive.

TREY: [00:26:16] And that Alessandra is getting so many of them.

CHELSEY: [00:26:19] Right. Okay. So it doesn't seem like the, the financial aspect is as big of a, a concern for Alessandra. Cause she's so happy to be able to have something to help her.

TREY: [00:26:30] Either finances aren't that much of an issue or it's like, this is literally her health.

CHELSEY: [00:26:34] there's no price tag

TREY: [00:26:35] it does seem at least in this two week span of the update, that it really is shortening the recovery period, which was referred to her by a doctor.

CHELSEY: [00:26:44] Yeah. Even the hand specialist was like, wow, this is amazing. So.

TREY: [00:26:48] Right.

CHELSEY: [00:26:48] I think Alexander did a good job. I feel like I'm ready to crown. How bout you?

TREY: [00:26:52] Yes. I want to say the humor level of this. I literally thought nothing would ever top your review.

CHELSEY: [00:27:01] Yeah, I know the gigantic ball.

TREY: [00:27:03] starting a review with it's now been two weeks since my accident. It's like, it's just like, it sounds like a Soap Opera. Like it's just so delectable, that I can't it's just get, makes me giggle.

CHELSEY: [00:27:15] Same obviously, but I don't know. I, I don't know if that's just like us like that we just thought that was funny, but either way thoroughly entertained by Alessandra.

TREY: [00:27:25] Yes. And I will say like the, I think like the impact of her, of Alexandra's review is when I go and visit you in LA, I want to go and try this.

CHELSEY: [00:27:33] I think we should definitely go.

TREY: [00:27:34] Not an ad. You ready to crown?

CHELSEY: [00:27:36] I'm ready.

TREY: [00:27:37] Okay. So Chelsey and I each have our own set of one to five crown cards and in an effort to be fair and not influenced by one another, we will simultaneously reveal

VOICEOVER: [00:27:46] The Queens are Tabulating.

TREY: [00:27:50] How do I want to do this,

CHELSEY: [00:27:52] are you ready, Trey.

TREY: [00:27:54] Um, yeah, I think, I think I'm ready.

CHELSEY: [00:27:57] You're ready, Okay.

VOICEOVER: [00:28:03] Total Score!

CHELSEY: [00:28:04] Okay, so I'm holding up four crowns and Trey is holding up four and a half crowns, which I also was tempted to do the half crown. So I, I understand the impulse, but I'll let you go first. Tell us why you gave four and a half crowns.

TREY: [00:28:17] Well, part of this is unfair, but I do want to reserve the five for outrageous ones.

CHELSEY: [00:28:23] Yes.

TREY: [00:28:24] So I'm giving four and a half to Alessandra D because it really told a story. It really was entertaining. I really felt Alessandra D put me in their shoes. And so therefore I did find it to be authentic and truthful. I do believe that it is a real person just from their shock and dismay. And it actually makes me want to go. Like, I don't know that I would ever desire going into a freezing cold place, but Alessandra D has sold me. And so four and a half crowns.

CHELSEY: [00:28:54] Yes.

TREY: [00:28:54] What about you?

CHELSEY: [00:28:55] I think that's totally fair. I gave four for a similar reason. I love when reviewers really can put me in their shoes and take me through their experience, and let me empathize with what they're going through and see how this really impacted them in a very personal way. And I think that Alessandra did a very good job of letting us into her world in almost a diary like fashion. And I, you know, of course I've got to knock some points off for spelling and grammar. And I know like when you're reading something, and there are a couple of words that are off or things like that, I have to read it again to really understand it. So that takes a little bit more of my time just to have to understand what you are saying. So for that, I, of course could not give Alessandra D the full five crowns. But other than that, I mean, if I were Alessandra D's grandmother. I think I would hang this on my fridge because I'm thrilled that she's doing better. I'm kvelling that she's sharing her experience with other people that might also benefit from, from this. So Alessandra D in my opinion, Four crowns.

Great.

TREY: [00:29:59] I love it. Thank you, Alessandra D for your perspective on Cryohealthcare, one word.

CHELSEY: [00:30:04] Yeah. Okay. So let's take a quick break. And when we come back, we will hear an entirely different side of the story, which I can't wait to share.

TREY: [00:30:15] Oh my God. Okay. I'm excited. All right. BRBzy

VOICEOVER: [00:30:20] Hold your crowns, we'll be right back.

CHELSEY: [00:30:32] Alright. We are back from that break. Did you leave us a review yet?

TREY: [00:30:53] You know, we should do a drinking game on how many times the word review is said on our show.

VOICEOVER: [00:30:59] Listener Voicemail.

TREY: [00:31:03] It's time for another Listener Voicemail. Chelsey are you excited?

CHELSEY: [00:31:08] I'm so excited. I like always get excited and a little bit nervous, but like, I can't wait to hear it.

TREY: [00:31:14] Okay. So today's Listener Voicemail is from Lynn and they're going to explain everything, but don't worry. We're not going to be insulted today.

CHELSEY: [00:31:22] Okay, great.

VOICEOVER: [00:31:23] Hey, Review Queens. This is Lynn R. I'm calling from NYC, and I just want to get your opinion on something. I was on the Glossier website, which I always called Glossier until I googled it, a couple of minutes ago and I guess I'm not French enough you guys. Anyway, I was looking at the brow products and then I saw this review on there and it just sort of like, it's just sort of made me rethink my whole philosophy on life and maybe on death and anyway.

I just want to see what, what you, the Review Queens think of it. So here is what the reviewer said. It's five stars out of five. The headline is "literally stayed on through getting hit by a car."

TREY: [00:32:03] Wait,

CHELSEY: [00:32:04] wait, what? Wait. Okay. But they're okay.

TREY: [00:32:08] Well, we're going to find out. So a lot of, um, injuries on this episode. So, so Lynn R from New York, wants us to

VOICEOVER: [00:32:16] Assess That Kvetch!

TREY: [00:32:17] I love it. All right. So here we go. so the subject was this stayed on during a car wreck.

CHELSEY: [00:32:23] That was the subject. Wow. Wait, let's let's move

TREY: [00:32:27] Yeah, I'm gonna rewind back.

CHELSEY: [00:32:29] Yeah.

VOICEOVER: [00:32:29] The headline is literally stayed on through getting hit by a car.

CHELSEY: [00:32:34] Wow. Strong Start.

VOICEOVER: [00:32:35] It goes on to say, I wore this to a festival and it stayed on through infinite sweat there. After the festival, I got hit by a car on the side of the road after getting pulled out from under a car and going to the hospital. The only intact part of my makeup when I left the hospital was this brow product. So there's that?

CHELSEY: [00:32:54] Oh my god.

VOICEOVER: [00:32:56] 907 people found this helpful, by the way.

CHELSEY: [00:32:59] Oh my God.

VOICEOVER: [00:33:00] I bought it. I bought, I bought the product anyway. Let me know what you think. Bye Review Queens! Thanks!

CHELSEY: [00:33:05] Okay. Okay.

TREY: [00:33:06] Lynn R, coming through!

CHELSEY: [00:33:09] I want to talk about Lynn R for a second, cause like you ever hear someone's voice and you're like, Ooh, I kind of, I want to be friends with Lynn R immediately just hit me up. Thank you for calling in with a review for us to assess! That's a first

TREY: [00:33:23] obsessed. Everyone needs to do this. If you find funny, hilarious, amazing reviews, tag us, call in and read them like Lynn. Okay. This is insane. So this person was at a festival left and got hit, got pulled out from the car wreck. Went to the hospital

CHELSEY: [00:33:39] how soon after the accident, do you think she posted the review? Do you think she was like in the hospital, like, someone get me a mirror and then she like, looked and she was like, it's still there. Oh my God. Like what a humanitarian in a moment like this,

TREY: [00:33:55] I love that it had 900 likes or helpfuls

CHELSEY: [00:33:58] I mean, and I also liked that Lynn gave us that detail. That was great. Lynn, thank you.

TREY: [00:34:02] And, Lynn bought the product

CHELSEY: [00:34:05] and she bought it. Listen, like, I think this is quite a case for Glossier. Right?

TREY: [00:34:11] I love this. Great job, First with writing this review and then Lynn for finding it, purchasing from it, and sharing it with us.

CHELSEY: [00:34:20] I think that this person is a Review Queen. Obviously they were successful in getting Lynn to buy the product. Clearly they were convincing to hundreds of people and, what a feat to overcome, and to what a light, right? To like to experience something like this, to be hit by a car after a music festival and still think...

TREY: [00:34:45] pulled out from under the car that is so scary.

CHELSEY: [00:34:47] Oh, that was, that was quite a visual. And then also, yeah, I feel like I could make the short film. Of this, in fact, Glossier,

TREY: [00:34:55] it should be a commercial.

CHELSEY: [00:34:56] Yeah. If you would like to hire Trey and I, we're happy to produce the commercial. Okay. Yeah, because this is a full narrative. Like I really know the whole story and I feel amazing. And just my heart is just warm. Knowing that this person after they experienced such a tragedy is like, let me give credit where credit is due and say, even though I was in the hospital, my brows looked fabulous.

TREY: [00:35:23] I mean, I just think it's so specific that this cannot be a planted review. So I'm ready. I can crown that. You want to crown it

CHELSEY: [00:35:30] Yeah, I can crown it.

VOICEOVER: [00:35:35] Total Score.

TREY: [00:35:36] I'm saying 5.

CHELSEY: [00:35:37] I mean, a very easy five crowns

TREY: [00:35:40] and you get to share the five crowns, Lynn, because you brought it to our attention.

CHELSEY: [00:35:44] Yes. Five crowns for Lynn. Five crowns for the writer of this review. I'm just so happy that you're okay. And you survived and your brows still looked great. Review Queens all around. That was nice. All right. If you find a baller review like Lynn, or if you have a complaint to lodge, or if you want to induct someone for my Royal Highness, call in and leave us a voicemail, 1-850-REVIEW-0! Again, that's 1 8 5 0 R E V I E W 0.

TREY: [00:36:16] Operators are standing by. Thank you, Lynn, for giving us that opportunity. So let's jump back into our regularly scheduled Kvetch! Shall we?

CHELSEY: [00:36:28] Yeah, let's do it.

VOICEOVER: [00:36:31] Review That Review.

TREY: [00:36:36] All right. So we're back from the break and it is Chelsey Donn's turn

CHELSEY: [00:36:41] Tis my turn. Okay. My

TREY: [00:36:43] Tis, tis, My Lady!,

CHELSEY: [00:36:45] Tis! After hearing all of that from Alessandra, I mean, let's, let's hear what Steve M has to say.

TREY: [00:36:55] Oh no, wait. I'm nervous because. I feel like Alessandra D like, I feel like that's right. So now I'm really nervous to hear another side, but it's

CHELSEY: [00:37:05] I'll say, it's a totally different perspective and it, and it kind of focuses on a different

TREY: [00:37:11] angle?,

CHELSEY: [00:37:11] element of Cryohealthcare entirely. So I don't feel like this is going to be a case where we're going to lose our trust of Alessandra. I feel like Alessandra is safe. She's going to be, yeah. Okay.

TREY: [00:37:24] Let me in, let me in, I want to know I wanna know.

CHELSEY: [00:37:25] We're gonna hear from Stephen M this is Steven M's one star review, just because you mentioned it. And I didn't even really look at the time, but this was written in 2016, the end of 2016. So slightly before Alessandra visited. Anyway, so this is Steve M's. One star review on Yelp of Cryohealthcare.

I had direct contact with this company on the phone. And here is my personal experience with that company. I wanted to write about my experience with this business. Cryotherapy, or cryo sauna, is a new therapy, which they use extremely low temperatures to force your body to recover faster from sport or injury.

I don't want to get into details about it, but you can read about it here and then we've inserted a Wikipedia link. So that leads me to my review of this place. I researched into nationwide prices for this therapy and found them to be similar to this chart here. Insert link of uscryotherapy.com. For the most part, you would be looking at $25 a treatment. Less, if you bought packages of treats. When I asked the place of review for their price list, they were offering $60 per treatment, which of note was not covered by insurance. I feel the place is grossly overcharging and taking advantage of uneducated buyers. These machines themselves are cash cows. So at $25 a treatment and a suggested treatment ratio of at least 10 to 20 treatments, you can see why. It should also be noted that this type of treatment is something suggested to be frequent and long trialed to get effective results.

The second thing I found to be odd was that these treatments take place at this company's house. Trust me, I'm not one to care where treatments were taking place, but for the price of $60 on a two minute treatment, I would assume this would be at a medical facility, not a lined street. And the third and final issue I had with the business was the slick marketing and Hollywood type promotion that this place gives.

This therapy has been proved to actually work in any double-blind studies or trials. So what that means is basically word of mouth or tests and trials paid for by the actual companies that make these machines. The doctor in question promotes to help Hollywood celebrities and his Los Angeles friends. But as many of you Yelpers know, those Beverly Hills doctors are more about making money and funding their lavish lifestyle than actually helping patients. This self promotion only fuels my thinking. If one is paying an SEO company to put this propaganda out there, then it would only show they do care more about you paying them. then you helping them all in all. I would have tried this place, regardless of all of these factors, but they're price gouging, unsuspecting clients, do your research on prices and you will see. Cheers.

Yeah. First of all, I didn't know. You could, you could embed links in Yelp reviews.

TREY: [00:41:21] Yeah. I didn't know that either.

CHELSEY: [00:41:23] Yeah.

TREY: [00:41:24] I went on a full journey, like three different ways during this review. At first I was bothered by saying, I just got off a phone call with this company. So they didn't even go and experience anything.

CHELSEY: [00:41:37] Correct.

TREY: [00:41:38] Which just leads me down the whole conversation of, the price at this location. Maybe they're offering more facilities or more services or I don't know, but then it's like funny to me that Steve M. Doesn't want to get into the details. So they've supplied two links and then they get into the details, just whatever it's funny. But then I also think like, wow, $60 for a two minute treatment. That is crazy. I mean, that is like, that's a lot, but then to go off on this company for like promoting in like a Hollywood style when this is in Hollywood.

CHELSEY: [00:42:15] Correct.

TREY: [00:42:16] So like, okay. It seems like there's a little bit of bias...

CHELSEY: [00:42:19] And Steve is from Hollywood.

TREY: [00:42:20] So like, hello. But then I sort of get Steve's point, but then I also feel like everything is about price gouging. What's the difference between Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts. You could argue a lot of things, but like, I think Dunkin Donuts is a little cheaper, but you're paying for. The same product just differently. So if this company wants to pay more cool, I appreciate the thought that maybe they're going after unsuspecting people, but isn't that like what everyone? I mean, I also had just had this red flag that this is like a competitor.

CHELSEY: [00:42:55] I do too. I was going to say that I kept like getting this red flag, like, is this a competitor? Because this person knows way too much about cryotherapy. Like, it's weird that the review is, it's not even really about the place it's about, it's almost like Steve showing off of look at all this research I've done about this treatment. That is like amazing. And then he knocks, it's like very strange, like first he's like this treatment's amazing, but this is what you should be paying for it. I should know, because I own the business on the street. No, he doesn't say that, but that's what it felt like. Right?

TREY: [00:43:30] But yes, but I'm also thinking. Steve is not saying anything about the actual business, which makes me think it's probably not a competitor because if you're just going after them price gouging, that's sort of a, we, okay, great. That's a deal breaker to me, but it is also sort of like, but Steve didn't go inside. Steve doesn't know if you get complimentary cucumber water still doesn't know, like, if there's a spa area that comes with the $60, since you're only in the machine, like, it's just about why are the prices so much steeper at this location? Like, it is very humanitarian to be like Buyer Beware: they're really expensive, but that is like how capitalism works.

CHELSEY: [00:44:12] I mean, that's true. I don't know. I just thought it was a little bit crazy that he knew so much about these machines and that they were cash cows. I, it almost felt like to me, it's like telling someone like, listen, like buy one of these machines and like, hang up your shingle and charge $25 and you can still make a killing. Like, it was just weird. It was like he was giving us business advice.

TREY: [00:44:36] Yeah, how does Steve know that the machines are cash cows. If Steve doesn't own a competing store.

CHELSEY: [00:44:43] Exactly. I don't know how many people would know how, you know, how much these machines cost and he's linking us to Wikipedia, which is just like funny, cause that's completely like unregulated. and then the second link is for the uscryotherapy.com. So that, that feels a bit more legit. I will say that. Okay, cool. Like I like that he linked that. So I would have some sort of idea because similar to you, I've never had a treatment like this before. So someone could really say anything. And I wouldn't know, like, is this standard, I do feel like services in the Hollywood area in the Los Angeles area do tend to be more expensive. But if the average is 25, I agree like 25 to 60 is a big jump. And if that's true, then it's like a two minute treatment. I also feel. Well, I mean, now we can talk about this because we learn, but we learned that th this is so much more than just the one machine from Alessandra, right?

TREY: [00:45:42] Right! There's so many different treatments available.

CHELSEY: [00:45:45] And that could be a part of the, I don't know if that's part of the $60, but is part of the $60 that you get an hour or something with all the different machines. I'm not, I'm just not sure what my $60 is paying. And I don't think that Steve does a good job of, of letting me know that either. And he seems a bit unresearched ironically.

TREY: [00:46:05] Well, it brings me back to the idea that I got from the five-star review from Alessandra, that like, I'm probably going to want other things than what I've paid for when I walke in. But this is how, like any of this sort of holistic, anything is usually a little more expensive than buying Advil. So like...

CHELSEY: [00:46:22] and often not covered by insurance

TREY: [00:46:25] Often. So to me, I actually think this is valuable. It would make me take action and look at other cryotherapy locations to see if I could get cheaper. But I just got to tell you, when you go and get a massage, there is always a varying price range, depending on the location. I've never thought is that price gouging. I mean, maybe it is like, this is like, Steve brings up a great point here. Like do a little look, little looky-loo-hoo and see like what's going to be cheaper. And then, you know, I, you know, I actually kind of feel like even if this is like a competitor, maybe he has a point. But, um, but i dunno.

CHELSEY: [00:47:07] I have a new theory that just came to me. I just realized that like the second sentence of this is I wanted to write about my experience with this business. So I got this like, feeling like maybe Steve M is a writer, like maybe Steve M has a popular, fitness blog or something like that. And maybe Steve M, contacted his place and said, you guys are a new business. Why don't we get together? Maybe, maybe he was trying to get some free services from this place in exchange for writing a review. And they turned him down. And this is a little bit of like, Steve is now pissed because not only did they turn him down for free services, again, this is totally made up by the way. But, but they also are charging a lot. So it's, Steve doesn't feel like it's worth the investment. For him to pay for this tour to like review his experience, even though Steve has written 194 reviews on Yelp. So maybe he is just that passionate about his Yelp reviewing. What do you think?

TREY: [00:48:14] This, you, you just wrote an entire Christmas pageant. Sure. Is that within the realm of possibility? Yes, it is. I think that Steve has brought to the attention that this place is charging more than other places. And for that reason, I feel like there's an impact on me.

CHELSEY: [00:48:31] Yeah. I would say that's like the only impact, because I do feel like this is one of those examples where if I'm going to like defend Cryohealthcare for a second, I'm not I'm listening, but I, I'm not fully invested because you didn't go to the place, like compare this to what we have from Alessandra it's night and day. Like, I don't feel any kind of, I feel like Steve's kind of a machine he's just giving these facts. He's, he's spouting these links that don't feel very personal to Steve. And also don't feel very personal to Cryohealthcare outside of just theprice, which is only one element of the experience. And I did ask you that, like, you know, Alisandra, didn't comment on the price at all. So I wonder how she felt about that, but...

TREY: [00:49:20] This reminds me of the S the fake Squatty potty, because it is sort of a conversation of like, you get what you pay for.

CHELSEY: [00:49:26] Right.

TREY: [00:49:26] And like, maybe the, I mean, we don't know because Steve didn't go in the building. So we don't know if you're getting more because you're paying more.

<