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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 36: "1-800-Flowers - 1 vs 5 Stars"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 36: "1-800-Flowers - 1 vs 5 Stars"


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

RTR 36

[00:00:00] VOICEOVER: [Theme Song]

[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hello

[00:00:31] Trey Gerrald: Hi. Hello listeners. Welcome to Review That Review the podcast dedicated to reviewing

[00:00:37] Chelsey Donn: reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:50] Trey Gerrald: that's Chelsley Donn

[00:00:52] Chelsey Donn: And that's Trey Gerrald.

[00:00:53] Trey Gerrald: and together we are.

[00:00:55] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens!

[00:00:59] Trey Gerrald: To show your support for the show and get bonus and exclusive content, including our members only after show podcast. Visit our patreon page at Chelsey, happy second week of Febs. How's your week going?

[00:01:16] Chelsey Donn: Thank you. My week's going all right. I feel like I got, I like sometimes when I have a real time complaint to lodge, I just want to lodge right in.

[00:01:26] Trey Gerrald: Are you ready today?

[00:01:27] Chelsey Donn: I think I'm ready today. I haven't even discussed your week and how your week is going.

[00:01:32] Trey Gerrald: Well, let me just say today, this episode comes out on February 9th, which is my father's birthday. He is turning 74. If Chelsey is quick math before the episodes started as correct, then I want to say happy birthday to my dad. I love you very much. Should we all live? So with 74, what a blessing.

[00:01:52] Chelsey Donn: What a blessing. Amen. Happy birthday. Trey's dad. I mean, without your dad, you wouldn't be here and we wouldn't have the show, so we really do owe a debt of gratitude to Trey's dad. So happy birthday.

[00:02:05] Trey Gerrald: That's so nice. All right. So with the gratitude,

[00:02:08] Lodge A Complaint!

[00:02:08] Trey Gerrald: let's just do it. Let's jump in. Chelsey.

[00:02:10] Chelsey Donn: Yes.

[00:02:11] Trey Gerrald: Is there something that you would like to

[00:02:13] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint

[00:02:14] Trey Gerrald: about today?

[00:02:15] Chelsey Donn: There is actually my allergies. You guys are so out of control and I have to lodge a complaint about it because for so many reasons. Okay. One, I love Zyrtec. Zyrtec for me. I actually live by it, but I'm so dependent on it. On the days when I just forget to take it for some reason, I'm a mess. And then I'm sneezing all over the place and it used to be like, I was worried that someone else would think I have COVID or something. Now it's like, I think myself, I have COVID like, it's like, it, it just, my hypochondria gets, you know, Ang set up and so much happens just because I have such bad allergies and I'm so beholden to Zyrtec to get through my everyday life.

[00:03:08] Chelsey Donn: What is this? Have allergies gotten worse? I always just feel like it's like, oh, it's that time of year when everyone's, it's always that time of year for me. Do you have bad allergies?

[00:03:19] Trey Gerrald: I do have seasonal allergies. I'm curious. Okay. This is good. I love that this is your complaint because everyone keep it in your pocket. We'll, find out why later, but I'm curious. What kind of Zyrtec do you take, it's at the little like extended release. That's like a gel or do you do the little like white tab?

[00:03:39] Chelsey Donn: I do the little white tab.

[00:03:40] Trey Gerrald: and that's all you do? Because I alternate the Zyrtec gel with Flonase. Do you ever do the Flonase,

[00:03:50] Chelsey Donn: I hate the smell.

[00:03:51] Trey Gerrald: You can do the sensitive one. It's blue. It doesn't smell the same. And honestly, like, I mean, I recognize part of your complaint is like forgetting. Like if, if you forget a day you're messed up. So I don't know that is.

[00:04:05] Trey Gerrald: I mean, that is unfortunate.

[00:04:08] Chelsey Donn: It is, it is. I mean, I usually do remember, but on the days when I forgot, I'm just like, oh my God, I'm seasoning. And I'm like, oh, I didn't take the Zyrtec today, but I took it right before we got on. So I'm hoping that it'll kick in.

[00:04:23] Trey Gerrald: I think my allergies were worse in the south cause we had pollen, but I really like, I usually get sick when the season changes. That's like pretty consistent. Good complaint. I'm I'm so surprised the allergies haven't come up yet.

[00:04:35] Chelsey Donn: I know. Right. So I just, I hope it doesn't affect my recording today. And if I sound a little stuffed, don't be alarmed. It's just allergies. Okay.

[00:04:45] Trey Gerrald: Thank you so much.

[00:04:48] Chelsey Donn: Trey. What is your complaint?

[00:04:50] Trey Gerrald: Okay. So other end of the spectrum here, I would like to lodge a complaint against something that has literally been sitting in my drafts section of Twitter for like five years. I was trying to find a quippy, funny tweet about it, and then I sort of stopped using Twitter, but I hate in a film, anytime that a character is driving a car because I instantly cannot tell what the scene's about.

[00:05:15] Trey Gerrald: Cause I'm constantly waiting for a car wreck. I'm like, is because they never like look at the road appropriately to when they're actually like, if you were doing it in real life. So I'm constantly. Is this going to be like a shocking moment where they get T-boned at any minute? Like, is something terrible going to happen?

[00:05:33] Trey Gerrald: I, this, this is not a comedy routine. My anxiety, anytime a character is driving goes crazy. And I have to mention, because I did, you know, we're the recording of this is a little earlier than it's coming out. So I did just. Scream, AKA scream five. And another thing that really bugs me is anytime a character opens her refrigerator and the door goes just to the length of the frame.

[00:06:00] Trey Gerrald: So you can't see anytime a refrigerator door opens. I always think someone's going to be standing behind their.

[00:06:07] Chelsey Donn: oh, like someone's gonna,

[00:06:09] Trey Gerrald: It happens with medicine cabinets, cabinets in the kitchen. And anyone opens the door and this new scream, no spoilers, they really make a joke out of that. And it happened several times in one scene and it never results anything. It's actually like really genius, but I hate that too. It's the same with driving a car or opening a door in a movie. I cannot pay attention to the content of the scene because I'm so afraid that I'm about to be terrified. I just want to lodge that complaint. I would love to know if anyone else has this anxiety attack about shocking events coming out of nowhere. Jump scares. It can be a romcom like it terrifies me Chelsey. Have you ever experienced this?

[00:06:49] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God. Well, you know that I don't watch anything that might even be remotely classified as a horror movie. So the like only reference to the fridge moment I have is that like Mrs. Doubtfire toodaloo or like, whatever, when. When, yeah. When, uh, Robin Williams comes out with the face covered in, in the icing or whatever, one lump or two.

[00:07:12] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, just pay attention the next time someone's driving. If they're talking to someone in the passenger. I feel like they're making eye contact a little longer than you would in real

[00:07:20] Chelsey Donn: yes, for sure.

[00:07:23] Trey Gerrald: Oy gavelt!. all right, Chelsey. Well, with all of that in mind, should we like shake off, shake Shammy off those complaints and let's, uh, shake off your sinuses and let's go, um, and let's go Head to Head!

[00:07:36] Chelsey Donn: Oh my goodness. I guess that means that today is another versus episode. So without hesitation, I want to get involved. So let's do this.

[00:07:44] Trey Gerrald: Let's..

[00:07:46] VOICEOVER: Assess That Kvetch.

[00:07:48] Trey Gerrald: Yes, Chelsey. You're right. Oh, and all you listeners, you know, cause you can read our title. It has a, another verses episode in honor of Valentine's day coming up today, Chelsey and I are going to both cover a one-star and a five star trust pilot. Review!. On the same topic, any guesses, what's a big, product, especially on Valentine's day...

[00:08:18] Chelsey Donn: com that's right. For this versus episode, Trey's selected the five star and I selected the one-star. So to determine who reads first, we got to flip that quarter.

[00:08:30] Trey Gerrald: and I'll call it. Okay.

[00:08:32] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:08:34] Trey Gerrald: It's tales. I feel like this keeps happening to me. I haven't read first.

[00:08:39] Chelsey Donn: I know, but I was on a losing streak for a while too. So it happens. All right. I guess that means I'm going first.

[00:08:44] Trey Gerrald: That means we'll hear the one star Trustpilot Review! first, but before we do, let's just get a little background info on So, Inc is obviously, maybe not o