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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 67: "Clawee App"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 67: "Clawee App"


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:31] Chelsey Donn: Hello

[00:00:33] Trey Gerrald: Well, hello there. Chelsey and hello listeners. Welcome to Review That Review the podcast dedicated to reviewing

[00:00:41] Chelsey Donn: reviews were just like Cisco ERT only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:54] Trey Gerrald: That is your co-host Chelsey Donn.

[00:00:57] Chelsey Donn: And that is your cohost Trey Gerrald

[00:01:00] Trey Gerrald: And together we are.

[00:01:02] VOICEOVER: The review Queens.

[00:01:06] Trey Gerrald: And a special

[00:01:08] Chelsey Donn: Cheerio, Queens.

[00:01:11] Trey Gerrald: to all of our Patreon members. You know, they are singularly helping us to keep our lights on, keep producing episodes in exchange. They have exclusive access to our companion after show podcast, which features additional reviews. Hello, you need some more. We got 'em for. Plus they get full video recordings, me discounts, and a whole lot more.

[00:01:32] Trey Gerrald: So if you wanna join them and be special, B I P Queens, then go to our Patreon page. That's Patreon dot com slash Review That Review. Hey, Chelsey goose.

[00:01:42] Chelsey Donn: Hello. I just felt like we were both really serving like Mary Poppins in that like Cheerio Queen, like just very Burt Burt. Is that his name? The,

[00:01:54] Trey Gerrald: T. Yeah.

[00:01:55] Chelsey Donn: yeah. Bert, right

[00:01:56] Trey Gerrald: Bert heal. No, that's someone else. Who's Bert Healy. Is that a character in Annie?

[00:02:02] Chelsey Donn: maybe. Oh yeah. Is that the, no, I don't know.

[00:02:06] Trey Gerrald: Is that the like, Hey, oh, B man. Hey,

[00:02:09] Chelsey Donn: Donn

[00:02:10] Trey Gerrald: Healy. Yeah,

[00:02:14] Chelsey Donn: dressed.

[00:02:15] Trey Gerrald: I think he's like the radio singer. Who cares? Um, how's your week going girl?

[00:02:21] Chelsey Donn: my weeks going great. Everything. Everything is swimming along over here in LA.

[00:02:27] Trey Gerrald: Mm-hmm

[00:02:27] Chelsey Donn: are things on the opposite host in New Jersey?

[00:02:31] Trey Gerrald: Life's good. You know, I it's interesting cuz since I've come out about being a New Jersey resident life hasn't changed. So that's fun. Yeah. I

[00:02:42] Chelsey Donn: I was watching a show the other day, which I've been told to watch and I'm really enjoying it. I totally agree with the recommendation. Have you seen the show? The other two?

[00:02:51] Trey Gerrald: I have not watched it, which I don't need to get into, but tell me about the other two

[00:02:59] Chelsey Donn: Um, we're gonna talk about this off the air anyway. Um, so people have been recommending the other two and I I've been really enjoying it because it is sort of my brand of comedy. I'll say like me as an actor and writer and. There was a Jersey joke in like the second or third episode. I wish I could remember exactly what the joke was, but it was like clear.

[00:03:18] Chelsey Donn: It was a joke and the punchline of the joke was in New Jersey or like whatever. And I was just like, oh my God, there it is. We talked about it. You hear a New Jersey joke every day. And I heard a New Jersey joke yesterday.

[00:03:32] Trey Gerrald: I love

[00:03:32] Chelsey Donn: How about you? Have you been hearing Jersey jokes?

[00:03:35] Trey Gerrald: Um, no more than usual, but I haven't watched the other two yet, but I know that it's very funny and I need to watch it. I just haven't started.

[00:03:42] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, it's been on my list for a while, so I'm happy that I got to get started, but I wanted to know Trey before I Lodge my Complaint, cuz my lodging of a Complaint is gonna kind of just sail us right through the subject matter for this episode. So I was wondering if before we do that, do you have something you wanna Lodge a Complaint about

[00:04:03] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, I definitely do. I am so ready too.

[00:04:06] VOICEOVER: Lodge Complaint.

[00:04:07] Trey Gerrald: On behalf of a listener here we are. So this is actually a Complaint that we got from our contact form on our website.

[00:04:18] Chelsey Donn: Oh, okay.

[00:04:19] Trey Gerrald: a place on our website Review That Review dot com to. Submit a Complaint. And so on the contact form, it says your first name, last name, your email, and then your message.

[00:04:28] Trey Gerrald: So it's interesting because the first name is one word, more problems than, and the last name is Quaker has oats.

[00:04:40] Chelsey Donn: Oh,

[00:04:41] Trey Gerrald: who submitted a complaint's name as more problems than Quaker has oats.

[00:04:46] Chelsey Donn: okay. So they wanted to start with a joke or something, right, right at the top.

[00:04:51] Trey Gerrald: And then their email is can't win for losing shoot a

[00:04:59] Chelsey Donn: Wow. Okay.

[00:05:02] Trey Gerrald: So notice how this has no relevance for you. But to me, these are all very famous sayings that my mother says all the time.

[00:05:15] Chelsey Donn: Do you think it's your mom like in disguise?

[00:05:18] Trey Gerrald: I know that it's not my mom, because my, these are sayings that she just says she has more problems than Quaker has oats. Do you get that joke? Cuz Quaker's

[00:05:28] Chelsey Donn: Quaker has a lot of oats.

[00:05:30] Trey Gerrald: Mm-hmm she always complains that she can't win for losing cuz she loses so much that she can't even win for losing cuz she's

[00:05:39] Chelsey Donn: Like she doesn't even win the award for losing.

[00:05:42] Trey Gerrald: correct.

[00:05:43] Chelsey Donn: she, she just goes shy of losing to win that award, but enough to be a loser.

[00:05:50] Trey Gerrald: And then when we were a kid, instead of saying like G D she would say, shoot a monkey.

[00:05:56] Chelsey Donn: Is this a thing like this is a Southern thing, like shoot a monkey.

[00:06:00] Trey Gerrald: I don't know that I've ever heard it before, but my mom always says

[00:06:03] Chelsey Donn: Oh, interesting.

[00:06:04] Trey Gerrald: So I was like, okay, this is either my sister. Or it's my brother-in-law, who's married to my sister who listens every week. And, uh, oh,

[00:06:15] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:06:15] Trey Gerrald: we had an episode on his birthday and I didn't acknowledge that it was his birthday.

[00:06:22] Chelsey Donn: Oh, no. Well, we should make up for that

[00:06:24] Trey Gerrald: So I'm imagining this is from Evan, but maybe we'll find out.

[00:06:28] Chelsey Donn: either way. Happy belated birthday, Evan. We love and appreciate you. And thank you for always listening.

[00:06:34] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, their birthday fell on a Wednesday. And I got a text that was like a new episode on my birthday and I don't get a shoutout

[00:06:43] Chelsey Donn: okay. Well, you're getting a shout out now. Evan.

[00:06:47] Trey Gerrald: but this, this form was, this was submitted on our website back in July. It's just taken a while. Bazaro so here we go. This is the Complaint from more problems than Quaker has outs.

[00:06:59] Trey Gerrald: I'd like to Lodge a Complaint. I've listened to every episode of your podcast. And I don't recall this topic ever being addressed. I hope this is a universal relatable Complaint, but I could be a weirdo. And this is just my own idiosyncrasy either way. It'll be cathartic to share as I've been internalizing this for.

[00:07:20] Trey Gerrald: So. So here it goes, I cannot tolerate certain adjectives as they relate to describing food.

[00:07:28] Chelsey Donn: Hmm,

[00:07:29] Trey Gerrald: For example. Yes. That's the first thing I think of, for example, I hate when people refer to food using the following adjectives, rich and creamy, moist succulent, scrumptious, I like scrumptious and delectable. On a similar note, I find it uncomfortable to watch TV chefs taste the meal that they just prepared as they moan and make orgasmic facial expressions at the camera. I understand they are trying to showcase how delicious the food is, but the moaning head nodding and eyes rolling into the back of their heads does not seem commiserate with biting into a piece of chicken. Is it just me? I hope not. If it is just me, maybe it's time to seek some counseling. Also one more thing to get off my chest.

[00:08:26] Trey Gerrald: Do you all have any words you simply do not like to use for some reason the following words, irk me

[00:08:34] Chelsey Donn: Oh, my God.

[00:08:35] Trey Gerrald: slacks, referring to pants, blouse sofa, just say couch and lovers. I enjoy listening to your podcast every Wednesday. Keep the episodes coming

[00:08:49] Chelsey Donn: Oh my goodness. Like, like a Royal review within a Complaint. I mean really hitting all the notes. I don't know what to call this person. Like monkeys. I Donn, what do we

[00:08:59] Trey Gerrald: well. It's more problems than Quaker hazards. Their emails can't win for

[00:09:04] Chelsey Donn: So we'll just call let's just call them more problems. I think that more problems. Thank you for listening. Thank you for the Royal review within that, I will say, I do think that you are a little bit more sensitive to words than the average person. I do have that. Some, like, I have a thing with hun. Like I really don't like hun, I know in your Southern, I just feel like it's derogatory.

[00:09:30] Chelsey Donn: Like I, I say I call everyone, babe. I'm always like, babe, babe. That's like my.

[00:09:34] Trey Gerrald: do say, babe, you

[00:09:35] Chelsey Donn: oh, that's my thing. But like, huh, like, and babe I think is great. Right. But it's my thing. But hun feels like I'm talking down to you like a diner worker in Jersey. That's like, what do you want hun? Like, get it out already, hun.

[00:09:50] Chelsey Donn: Like, you know, like, I don't know. I just, I really Donn don't like it. So I'm not judging you for being. Like having words that are irksome. Cuz I have them too. But I do think that a lot of the ones on your list don't bother me so much. How about you, Trey? Were you bothered by the list of words? Moist?

[00:10:07] Trey Gerrald: funny cuz yeah. And you even said it before. It was even, yeah. You know, it's funny because I'm reminded that my mom, I just thought about this. When you said hun makes you think of like a condescending diner worker. My mom would get so mad when. Waiters would call her ma'am she found it to be the most,

[00:10:27] Chelsey Donn: ma'am is

[00:10:27] Trey Gerrald: the most condescending phrase to be referred to.

[00:10:31] Trey Gerrald: But I, so I'm always like, that's always running through my mind. It's interesting. I've never really considered sofa versus couch.

[00:10:39] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:10:40] Trey Gerrald: I do think of them as interchangeable, but when someone refers a pants as slacks, that does sort of like bother me and I hate it when designers call pants a pant, a singular pant.

[00:10:54] Trey Gerrald: I hate that. I hate that even though that's probably correct. And then I can also agree here. There is. Outrageously showy and somewhat cheesy and corny about anytime someone is tasting food on a television program, it's always very showy, very presentational, cheesy, cheesy, like it just makes me think of a morning show

[00:11:20] Chelsey Donn: I was gonna say for whatever reason, when more problems was saying that I like immediately saw Rachel Ray in my head. Cuz I feel like she's like a big proponent of like,

[00:11:33] Chelsey Donn: we'll be right back after. Oh my God. I get another

[00:11:37] Trey Gerrald: I'm gonna need more. Yeah, exactly. Well, if this is my brother-in-law, I know that my brother-in-law's sister are not fans of Rachel Ray. So the fact that you just said that is very funny. That's why that was one of the great things about Wendy Williams was that whenever Wendy would have a cooking segment, she pulled out hot sauce, cuz she never, which is so disrespectful, but she also would be like Uhuh, like she would be honest, like she'd be like, no, mm-hmm.

[00:12:04] Trey Gerrald: She would be like, oh, dang, this is good. Like, I felt like it felt honest. Exactly.

[00:12:10] Chelsey Donn: But some, I have like, as someone that really likes to cook, I definitely cooked things. And then like taken the first bite and be like, oh my God, that's so good. Oh my God. I love that. And I, there is like something kind of weird about like being so, you know, fawning so much over something that you've cooked, but sometimes you gotta give yourself props.

[00:12:29] Trey Gerrald: It's interesting to me, cuz then I started going through my Rolodex, like have I never inducted the word moist? And I'm wondering if maybe I did it in one of our rehearsals before we went

[00:12:38] Chelsey Donn: Wait in inducted or complained about what you induct the

[00:12:41] Trey Gerrald: Oh, sorry. Sorry. If I have complained if I've lodged about moist, because it is so gross to me and this, I feel like I've talked about this before, but David's family, the Pearl men's, all of them are very oral or oral.

[00:12:57] Trey Gerrald: They're very audible with their pleasure. So whenever we're at a restaurant eating it, like almost always comes up.

[00:13:05] Chelsey Donn: Mmm. Love, ah, like a whole thing. Yeah.

[00:13:09] Trey Gerrald: of 'em, all of 'em, it's the first bite of whatever. And it's just something they all do. And David is so guilty of it. And he has to, he has to communicate about food as he's experiencing it.

[00:13:21] Trey Gerrald: And it's something I've called out before. And he's been like, I Donn don't do that. What are you talking

[00:13:25] Chelsey Donn: It's like an automatic response. Yeah. Uh,

[00:13:28] Trey Gerrald: he knows that he's like, Mmm. Like he, he does make. Mmm. And, and, but I want to call. That he wants to comment on the quality of the food. Like, if he feels like this isn't that good or, oh, this could be better.

[00:13:42] Trey Gerrald: And he's like, I Donn can't!' do that. So this in the future, when this is live, he and I will have a conversation that I just shared this, but I don't tend to

[00:13:50] Chelsey Donn: You're not as audible.

[00:13:51] Trey Gerrald: I'm cuz I,

[00:13:53] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I mean, I, I think I'm pretty vocal in general, but I think that that's. I think that that's like a really unique and interesting Complaint. And I think a lot of people will resonate with that because there's always gonna be, even if it's not like those particular words, I do think it's a good, like thought study to think about like, what are those words that just get me, you know, that the person could be saying hunt to me with like, Oh, hi, hun.

[00:14:24] Chelsey Donn: And like, I'm gonna hear it in a certain kind of way because I associate it that way. So I think that was That's super interesting. I love that.

[00:14:32] Trey Gerrald: Similarly the last word that more problems than uses that they don't like is the phrase lovers, which feels very seventies to me. I feel like no one says

[00:14:43] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. A lot of the words in general felt very generational. You know, like nobody says slacks anymore, but like probably 60 years ago or whatever, like everybody was saying slacks, you

[00:14:56] Trey Gerrald: I know that I once Lodge to complain about, uh, my husband being referenced as my

[00:15:01] Chelsey Donn: Yes, I do remember

[00:15:03] Trey Gerrald: is like, it feels homophobic and demeaning lovers is another one. Like people that are in their

[00:15:10] Chelsey Donn: your lover

[00:15:11] Trey Gerrald: is here lover, but

[00:15:13] Chelsey Donn: right, right, right,

[00:15:14] Trey Gerrald: was a time when you like, they couldn't be your husband. So like lover was the word, you know,

[00:15:19] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. It's

[00:15:19] Trey Gerrald: more loving than roommate. Um, anyway, really great job. I believe this is Evan, unless maybe it's my sister, Mandy, but I do know that Evan listens every week. So I'm imagining it's Evan and happy belated birthday. Great contribution. You can tell that Evan is an intelligent person by their vocabulary. So that was fun to read.

[00:15:41] Chelsey Donn: Thank you. And you can do the same if you wanna submit through our website. Go ahead and do it. Review That Review dot com. You'll see the button right on there. All right. Should we?

[00:15:51] Trey Gerrald: Should we do

[00:15:52] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, I think we should. Let's let's move along.

[00:15:54] Trey Gerrald: do it. Let's get into some online review. Oh wait, no Chelsey. You have to Lodge, which will lead us.

[00:15:59] Chelsey Donn: I was

[00:16:00] Trey Gerrald: you Lodge.

[00:16:01] Chelsey Donn: gonna Lodge into a lead, but I don't know when I, when, like where are we? But here we are, let's talk about it. So,

[00:16:07] Trey Gerrald: me you wanna Lodge a Complaint.

[00:16:08] Chelsey Donn: Oh, yes. It's, it's kind of like multi layered. So I'm just gonna talk my way through it here with you guys. Here's the deal. So, you know, those machines that have like the claw, like you and the arcade, and they have like the claw and then you try and win the toy.

[00:16:24] Chelsey Donn: Right. So I loved these machines when I was a kid. All growing up, my dad used to call them rip off machines and he started calling them rip off machines. Like since I was a little kid. So I truly just thought that these, these games were called the rip off machine. So when we would go to arcade or something and I would wanna play, I would say, dad, dad, please like, gimme money.

[00:16:47] Chelsey Donn: I wanna play the rip gene. And like, I didn't even understand what I'm saying. And now that I'm an adult and I'm on the other side of this. I've recently been burned you guys by an app called claw. Which is gonna be the subject of our review today.

[00:17:05] Trey Gerrald: to explain a.

[00:17:06] Chelsey Donn: I will explain. So there's this new app that I think is really pulling on the nostalgia of like us nineties kids and also.

[00:17:16] Chelsey Donn: Like nineties kids are having kids, which is like, you know, whatever, that's life. Now. I think it's pulling on the nineties nostalgia. And then also like the little kids that are like, mommy, I went this to, okay. So claw is an app where you can play a rip off machine, essentially from your phone. So you download this app and the whole stick is you have to buy these coins.

[00:17:43] Chelsey Donn: So you have to like, pay, like you're going to an arcade and then you're playing like live. So you're seeing a video of yourself. Yeah. So you're seeing a video of yourself playing a claw machine, and then if you win the prizes, they send them to your house. Okay. Right. So obviously like,

[00:18:10] Trey Gerrald: Wait, I wanna play.

[00:18:12] Chelsey Donn: See, well, here we go.

[00:18:13] Chelsey Donn: Maybe not after you hear my opinion and hear the opinion of this reviewer, but basically there were all these ads that were popping up on my Instagram and they'll now pop up on all of yours that were like celebrities. Like I think like Jody Sweden, like just like. Kind of random celebrities, no offense to Jody who I love, but like that we're talking about, oh my God, I love claw.

[00:18:37] Chelsey Donn: Like claw is so great. I'm gonna do an unboxing of all these toys from claw, like a huge thing. And all these people talking about it. So I was like, you know what? I love a good ripoff machine. So let's like, download it. Okay. They give you like a free certain amount of coins or whatever it is. And so the first thing that I noticed that I really did not like is that it only lets you move to the right once and like back once.

[00:19:07] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:19:07] Trey Gerrald: there are some machines like that.

[00:19:09] Chelsey Donn: So you have to like, hold the button down until you're like finished moving across, let go. And then like, hold the button down until you're finished, moving down. And like, so you only have like those two chances.

[00:19:20] Trey Gerrald: you Donn, Donn don't know that until you've done it.

[00:19:22] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. And you don't know that until you're like already in the app. I love when I'm doing the, like rip off machines to like, be able to like tap,

[00:19:31] Trey Gerrald: Wink, wink, win, wink,

[00:19:32] Chelsey Donn: know, like I like, that's like a part of the experience for me.

[00:19:34] Chelsey Donn: So like right off the bat, like that was very annoying. Okay. But then I played and like I won like immediately. Okay. And I wasn't even like really trying, cuz I was just learning this whole like, oh, I only get to do it this way. So like, it wasn't even like my perfect attempt and like I won. Like a Pokemon toy that I was trying to win for my nephew.

[00:19:56] Chelsey Donn: So I immediately like sent it to my nephew and I was like, so excited. And then I went in again for like a Dumble door or something like that. And again, I got it like super quickly, so quickly that the, the like app was like, are you sure you want Dumble door or instead of Dumble door, do you want like 200 coins to like keep playing?

[00:20:16] Trey Gerrald: Hmm.

[00:20:16] Chelsey Donn: So I was like at this rate, like, clearly I'm great at this. I'll take the 200 coins and I'll give away Dumble. Well, after I gave away dumbledor and I got the two, 200 coins. I never won again. Okay. The app was like, so glitchy. And at this point, like they really had me with a couple wins. So I started like buying the membership and like doing all the things to try and just like, get, have my tokens ready, cuz I thought, oh, this is such a cute way for me to send little gifts to my like niece and nephews and it's like fun.

[00:20:48] Chelsey Donn: So I paid for like all this crap. Like now it costs a thousand coins to play this like thing. And it's a bigger toy, but still it's like annoying, cuz I'm like, I'd rather play. I'd rather have like more chances than like, was it all in one turn? So like that was like also really annoying. And then sometimes like the camera would just be off and then they would have things where I'm playing for this little like puppy, dog doll.

[00:21:15] Chelsey Donn: And I. Actually showing me the arcade where the puppy dog doll is, which is like the whole premise of this app. It's just like a dye that's like shaped with the clawy fur and it's just not as fun. So I really just felt like this was a bait and switch. They made me feel like I could win in the beginning so that my confidence would be up.

[00:21:35] Chelsey Donn: And I would like pay all this money to do this subscription or whatever. And then as soon as they had me. It was impossible to win. Okay. Frigging annoying. Okay. So flash forward, I know this is like getting a little bit long, but flash forward I'm with my nephew. He wants me to like buy him for his birthday, like call coins or something, and he wants to get this app.

[00:21:58] Chelsey Donn: And I was explaining to him, I'm like Eila, like. This is a rip off. Like, you have to understand, like you're not gonna win. They do this thing where they make you think you're gonna win and they'll let you win a couple times. That's how I sent you that toy. And then you'll never win again. So my nephew, who is seven said that we gotta do something about this.

[00:22:19] Chelsey Donn: That we gotta let people know that this is not okay. And so I told my nephew at that time, I said, you know what, you're right. We gotta do something about this and I'm gonna bring it on the podcast. And I'm gonna talk about it because we got Jody Sweden out there, you know, acting like it's great. So we, now we have the review Queens doing a little bit of research for myself and my nephew Isler on this app.

[00:22:46] Trey Gerrald: this is for you Isler.

[00:22:47] Chelsey Donn: This is for you Isler. I hope you're listening. Let's do it. Let's Review That Review.

[00:22:55] VOICEOVER: Review That Review.

[00:22:58] Chelsey Donn: All right. So from the app store, this is for Chloe. It is a One-Star-Zinger review written by fan farm

[00:23:08] Trey Gerrald: Oh, no

[00:23:09] Chelsey Donn: very recently, uh, written, just like within the last couple weeks.

[00:23:13] Trey Gerrald: fan farm

[00:23:14] Chelsey Donn: Fan farm. So this is from fan farm. The subject is glitchy scam and here's the review. I played two games and one, both times I was like, okay, this is fun.

[00:23:32] Chelsey Donn: I'll give their membership a try. Only the things that are in the me. Are misleading. It says it gives you 14 free plays a day and it doesn't, you just get one like you would without paying. In addition after I won my first two games, I haven't won a single thing. Even if I get it perfect. Over an item, the arm doesn't have the strength to pick it up. Then it's super, super glitchy. You start a game. Sometimes the arm doesn't move at all. I had a game. I started where the video was just glitchy lines. You couldn't see anything. Customer service is a joke. It wants you to go through a whole process of digging up the videos of the game play, and then emailing.

[00:24:29] Chelsey Donn: And then maybe in 30 days you might get a reply waste of money. If you do win, it will take seven weeks for your prize to arrive. Ridiculous. Don't waste your money,

[00:24:49] Trey Gerrald: Wow.

[00:24:50] Chelsey Donn: right? Literally, same exact

[00:24:52] Trey Gerrald: Wait, so, okay. So Isler did get the Pokemon toy.

[00:24:56] Chelsey Donn: Yes, he did. I did actually get a message from him. Like recently that said he got it. And it was probably, I Donn don't think the seven weeks is an exaggeration. It probably took that long for it to get

[00:25:07] Trey Gerrald: I wonder if they're doing anything with the address once they got the address.

[00:25:12] Chelsey Donn: Oh no, I hope not. You think they are.

[00:25:16] Trey Gerrald: I don't know. Maybe they'll start getting mail.

[00:25:18] Chelsey Donn: Oh, well,

[00:25:20] Trey Gerrald: I don't

[00:25:20] Chelsey Donn: we'll say, we'll say, but I felt very validated personally, when I read this review, I also. It was what happened to me. I also like had an experience where it was super glitchy and I like, could barely see, like I said, and I did email customer service because I was like, I just spent like, it wouldn't let me get out of it.

[00:25:41] Chelsey Donn: So I had to spend like a thousand coins on whatever that is. The only way that you could, you would let me out of it is if I like completed the game. So like I had to in order to get out of there, but I want like those coins back or whatever it was, and the person got back to me and they were like, each of our games, like has a video.

[00:26:00] Chelsey Donn: Like you have to go through each video individually, like download the files and then send them to us and then we'll review it. And then if we think that you're you're. Then we'll like give you those coins back. It's like such crap. And then she was also like, delete the app, you know, uninstall, reinstall, like all, always just like

[00:26:18] Trey Gerrald: Wait, is that like a texting assistant or is that email back and forth?

[00:26:22] Chelsey Donn: it was email back and forth. Like, it wasn't like an instantaneous response, but I think it was like pretty easy within the app to be like help customer service and like, whatever. So I must have just like, click that.

[00:26:34] Trey Gerrald: and how many games, like, do you have to suss through before you actually get to that glitchy one? Like, have you played like 40 games by this point?

[00:26:42] Chelsey Donn: I mean, I since have downloaded since have deleted the app and like edit all subscriptions. Cause I'm like, and it's addictive. That's the other thing like, it's like, it's actually addictive. Like they, they totally get you in the beginning with those two ends. And then I don't remember having any glitches until like I was already kind of in the system and paying.

[00:27:02] Chelsey Donn: And then all of a sudden things got glitchy to be fair. Like fan farm did write this review around like a very similar timeline. When I was using the app. So maybe it is like a newer thing, but I will say I recommend when going, if you're like getting an ad for an app on Instagram and you're thinking about downloading it and you've clicked through, I do recommend sorting by most recent.

[00:27:29] Chelsey Donn: When you're looking for reviews, because that's gonna really tell you what is happening now. And so I appreciated getting this review in real time. I really felt validated and I did go ahead. And like, after I read this, I just deleted. I deleted the app and I was done.

[00:27:46] Trey Gerrald: Because I am curious, I wonder if they got a reply in 30 days? Cause we say like maybe in 30 days, but that, I mean, it is like so insane.

[00:27:55] Chelsey Donn: There's basically a developer response for like every single message, but it's very like generic, like so sorry that you're having problems. Like we'll look into this, you know what I mean,

[00:28:08] Trey Gerrald: I thought it was funny that the arm seems to have no strength, cuz that's like, I don't remember who told me this, but it might have been my mom or something like, same as your story, but it's like, oh yeah, they like lubricate the claw hand. So like it can't actually catch anything. That's why it always falls out.

[00:28:24] Chelsey Donn: Right. So frustrating.

[00:28:26] Trey Gerrald: And like, somehow in my mind, I feel like I've seen someone win before or I've seen people win before. So like, I believe it's possible.

[00:28:34] Chelsey Donn: that's another thing that Chloe does. So they, they have a video in like the bottom right hand corner. And it says like the last time someone won, this was 17 minutes ago. Like, do you wanna watch the video? And you can literally watch the video of like somebody else playing the exact same field that you are and winning.

[00:28:54] Trey Gerrald: Wow.

[00:28:55] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, so they're really like, there's some psychological warfare. I just, like I wonder about the celebrity endorsement thing. Like, do you think, like,

[00:29:04] Trey Gerrald: They probably got

[00:29:05] Chelsey Donn: do you think that works? I mean, I know that they got paid, but like some of these, they just seemed like, I mean, I know that we're all actors, but they seemed so realistic that I'm like maybe Chloe was like giving them unlimited coins. if somebody was giving me this app and they were like, here's unlimited coins and it wasn't glitchy. I'd be like, this is the best thing ever. And it was just like the ones we were actually like doing a video of the actual toy. So like maybe they like cheaped out or something. It sounds like there's like budget cuts because their whole thing used to be like, you're gonna pick up the actual toy that you're getting.

[00:29:42] Chelsey Donn: And now it's just like, not as cool, but I think it's so sketchy that the video doesn't work.

[00:29:49] Trey Gerrald: The glitchy thing is concerning. I think that's a lot of the value in the review to me is because when I'm sussing through just a couple of reviews before I purchase a app, for some reason, I always have this feeling that like, oh, that's not gonna happen to me, which is very interesting. I'm just suddenly aware of that.

[00:30:06] Trey Gerrald: But the glitching out is really a problem. Like if I, if I found multiple reviews, cuz I'm also hearing this new, I've never heard of this app till today, like you mentioned glitches and then now they're saying glitch, like now I'm getting this pattern that makes me think there's something really wrong here.

[00:30:22] Trey Gerrald: Like I Donn don't wanna be taken advantage of. So I do find that very valuable.

[00:30:26] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. And this review, I like pulled it like a week ago or whatever, when I was like planning when after Isler said that there have been so many more One-Star-Zinger reviews since then, like literally every single day, there's probably 10 to 20

[00:30:42] Trey Gerrald: Whoa.

[00:30:43] Chelsey Donn: So I don't know if like things have gotten worse. but like, it does not look good.

[00:30:50] Trey Gerrald: Cause now I'm wondering like, is this built to beat a scam because it seems like they hook you in a very meticulous way or is it glitching because it is actual machines and there's like video, like, like it's hard for me to tell

[00:31:04] Chelsey Donn: Right. Like, is it just glitching? Cuz there's like a UX error or is it glitchy because it's like buying your informa or like doing something really shady, like while you're trying to play. I don't know. I mean, I hope that all of the reviews on like half of them are like scam scam. Here we go. Glitchy scam fan farm,

[00:31:22] Trey Gerrald: Wait, so fan farm, what's the spelling of grammar like.

[00:31:24] Chelsey Donn: I think.

[00:31:25] Chelsey Donn: Good. I didn't notice any mistakes. I think there was one fragment in there.

[00:31:30] VOICEOVER: There is a reply.

[00:31:33] Chelsey Donn: This is the response that Chloe has given to every single message. I just wanted to confirm that. So they say hi, Chloe is a real claw machine game that uses live stream cameras. So you can win real prizes that are delivered straight to your home. As of today, we have sent over 1 million prizes. To satisfied customers.

[00:31:54] Chelsey Donn: We can assure you that we do our very best to make the game enjoyable and fun for everyone. We have a lot of loyal players who tell us it's the most innovative game they've ever played. Everyone gets free coins upon installation of the app to enjoy our machines for free. VIP is a one time payment that grants you with coins free shipping seven days of daily bonuses, access.

[00:32:17] Chelsey Donn: All the prizes on the app and much more. We'd love to offer you all of our amazing prizes for free. However, they do cost money as well as shipping costs. Therefore we do our best to keep the game cost as low as possible and offer many ways. For you to get free coins, such as daily bonus refer a friend program and some cool challenges on our Facebook page.

[00:32:39] Chelsey Donn: So check 'em out. It does take some practice to develop the required skill. My advice is to visit our YouTube and Facebook pages, where we have a lot of players that can give you tips on how to improve your skill and achieve the level so you can win lots of prizes. If you experience an issue in the game, please contact us with all the details and we'll be happy.

[00:33:01] Chelsey Donn: We always do our best to make our players happy. So we hope you'll make the extra effort to amend your review. Once you get a reply.

[00:33:10] Trey Gerrald: Hmm,

[00:33:11] Chelsey Donn: interesting that last sentence,

[00:33:13] Trey Gerrald: that is the reply to everyone.

[00:33:16] Chelsey Donn: everyone, which is like a tactic that I hate. I think we can really win people back with like a personalized thing. But at the rate that they're getting these terrible reviews. I mean, they would have to reply this way. Otherwise they'd be there all day.

[00:33:32] Trey Gerrald: I mean, it is curious to me, like my first impulse was when the reply is so many sentences up top about how great the game is. It makes me feel a little like icked.

[00:33:43] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I feel ick about it. So we OB I mean, like. It's a little cheaty here. And I feel like maybe I'm, I'm like in love with fan farm a little bit more than I should be, because I feel so sane. But you having not played this game before or not had the history. I mean, obviously you heard my history, but like, how did you feel?

[00:34:07] Chelsey Donn: Like, did you feel like, oh, when Chelsey said it, I was like, maybe, and now I'm really like convinced or how did you feel? I didn't wanna put words in your mouth.

[00:34:15] Trey Gerrald: Well, it's interesting to me because I feel like in addition to all of the surrounding reviews about the glitch, I mean, it's interesting, cuz the reply is also sort of saying like they're live streams and so like we're doing our best, but that's also sort of like what, but I do imagine that all of these sort of like.

[00:34:32] Trey Gerrald: Pay with coins that you like actually are paying for, like something about it all seems a little bit like online gambling poker, like the odds are always gonna be against you. Like, even in real life, these clog games are sort of like scams in my opinion. But I think that fan farm, it comes across as truthful to me.

[00:34:49] Trey Gerrald: I Donn don't think they're being shady. I think they're sort of saying like, The structure with which you submit a Complaint is complicated and therefore I'm feeling this is a scam because of the glitch. And do I think it's common or fluky that I'm not totally sure about? I mean, in this episode with you, like I'm hearing a commonality.

[00:35:08] Chelsey Donn: based on the review alone, you feel like it could be bad luck, but I. They did the compliment sandwich, which we like, which is what happened to me, or they really just walk you through the shoes of, like, I played

[00:35:21] Trey Gerrald: started. Great.

[00:35:23] Chelsey Donn: I, you know, I was like, this is so fun. I got the membership, you know, Which really like was my experience.

[00:35:30] Chelsey Donn: And I think that that's useful. Like if I had read this review before, because I was all in after Jody Sweden, you know what I mean? Like I was like, all right, let's do it. And I just like, went for it. And I saw it had 4.7 overall. And I was like, oh, I Donn don't even need to like, look at the reviews. And I just went, and this was my experience.

[00:35:49] Chelsey Donn: And I feel like if I read this review before I went in there, I would've been like Chelsey, like watch out for those paywalls, like Donn don't like fall for a paywall or Donn don't fall for like winning the first couple of times and just like automatically jump onto the VIP train. Like I do think there is a nice, like cautionary tale

[00:36:10] Trey Gerrald: Exactly. I do think, I don't know that I was humored or entertained necessarily, but I do think that the impact for me there is sort of like it's signaling red, red flags,

[00:36:20] Chelsey Donn: Yeah,

[00:36:21] Trey Gerrald: which is queeny. I mean, I think I could, I think I could crown fan farm. How are you feeling?

[00:36:27] Chelsey Donn: I'm ready to crown fan farm.

[00:36:29] Trey Gerrald: All right, let's do it. So Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards in an effort to be fair and not influenced by one another.

[00:36:37] Trey Gerrald: We will simultaneously reveal our rating.

[00:36:41] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating.

[00:36:49] Chelsey Donn: You did it? I oh, okay. So I'm holding up four and a half crowns. Trey is holding up five crowns. Trey has made fan farm, a Review Queen. Alright, Trey, let us know why Queen status.

[00:37:03] Trey Gerrald: Well, now I'm wondering if maybe I shouldn't have gone all the way to five, but I think what is Queen Lee for me is they've really walked us through every aspect of the experience. I I'm question the reason I'm questioning, if it is a full Review Queen is because. I don't know if they ever were communicated with in the 30 days.

[00:37:23] Trey Gerrald: Like, you know what I mean? Like, so maybe that is impending and they'll reply when they get the reply, but it's, queenly, it's valuable. I can,

[00:37:30] Chelsey Donn: reply on, on, uh,

[00:37:32] Trey Gerrald: if you can update it well there, but in the reply from the developer, they're asking for an amendment, so there must be some

[00:37:38] Chelsey Donn: Well, I think they're asking them to delete it is what they're asking.

[00:37:42] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, let's start over. Um, but the reason I am feeling very positive about this review is because I do find it to be truthful.

[00:37:50] Trey Gerrald: It's hard for me to gauge the commonality. I I'm getting the commonality today from our conversation and their surrounding reviews. It wasn't really humorous or entertaining necessarily, but it did grip me. I was like captivated. Like I wanted to get to the end, you know, like I didn't want need, I didn't feel like I needed to skirt away to a different review.

[00:38:10] Trey Gerrald: So that's why I said five crowns, cuz I really feel like they did a great job in communicating their experience. And I think it would have an impact that I would maybe definitely need to read more reviews before clicking by Chelsey. Why did you do four and a half?

[00:38:24] Chelsey Donn: I almost did five too. I like, I had to sit on my hands cuz I was like, I think I'm too emotional because of the personal attachment. And that was why I like left a little wiggle room and I went for the four and a half cuz I was like, well let me not like fully insert my bias, but I agree with everything you said.

[00:38:41] Chelsey Donn: I think it's a pretty queenly review. I think it's the perfect length. It gives all the information. It like brings you through the narrative as you would experience it when you're starting and really just like sheds light on some of those, you know, like the 14 free plays. Like they tell you these things, they, they lie and then you're not gonna really get that.

[00:39:02] Chelsey Donn: So I thought that the important information was really there. And I, from my vantage point, I was really able to see it. And I think fan farm. Excellent job. And so four and a half pounds for me. And I did struggle with whether or not I should tell my personal story before or after. I don't really think there's any right way to do it here and Review That Review.

[00:39:24] Chelsey Donn: But I do feel validated by fan farm. So there's that.

[00:39:28] Trey Gerrald: And Isler, good job wanting to share.

[00:39:31] Chelsey Donn: And Eila. I told you I would do it. I said, I would say something, cuz you said it was wrong and somebody should. And so claw, if you're listening, I'm here and available for free gold coins, maybe to make up for some of the glitches. And I'm willing to amend my review, live on the air, but you will need to contact me.

[00:39:52] Chelsey Donn: And like you'll, you'll have to make amends is all I'm saying call I am at this point. Pretty disappointed for someone that loves these kind of machines. Like I am your audience and you let me

[00:40:02] Trey Gerrald: I hear that. Good job. Fun.

[00:40:05] Chelsey Donn: thanks.

[00:40:06] Trey Gerrald: Fully lived and experienced episode today.

[00:40:10] Chelsey Donn: I did. Yeah, it did feel like it was like a sweatshirt that was, uh, that was worn.

[00:40:15] Trey Gerrald: I live

[00:40:16] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Yeah. I'll write my Queen. You know, we finished the review, which means that we've reached the most Regal portion of our show. Trey. Who are you inducting for?

[00:40:28] VOICEOVER: My Royal line.

[00:40:29] Trey Gerrald: All right. So today I am very excited. I'm gonna be inducting a product that I happened upon on Amazon and I've sprung for it. And. I am obsessed with this product. So today I'm going to induct the perfect sleeve ironing assistant for wrinkle free shirt sleeves, including magnetic holder stainless steel.

[00:40:56] Chelsey Donn: Wow.

[00:40:57] VOICEOVER: It's super, kinda istic. It's. Delicious.

[00:41:00] Trey Gerrald: I think the actual product, like on the thing is called it's called perfect sleeve, but that's the whole like keywords on Amazon and it has an as seen on TV sticker. So I guess this is probably one of

[00:41:13] Chelsey Donn: Like a QVC type thing. Okay.

[00:41:16] Trey Gerrald: so what it really is, I should have brought it down it's upstairs, but it's like a, um, metal piping.

[00:41:23] Trey Gerrald: It's in like a U shape. So it's really tense, right? So it wants to be straight. So there's like pressure. Does that make sense?

[00:41:32] Chelsey Donn: It wants to be straight,

[00:41:34] Trey Gerrald: It wants to be a straight rod, but it's bent as a U. So,

[00:41:40] Chelsey Donn: Oh, okay. Yes, yes,

[00:41:42] Trey Gerrald: there's, there's outward tension. And so you slip it inside of a button down sleeve. And it automatically presses it all the way to its extreme seam so that you don't have to worry about straightening out the sleeve of a, of a shirt when you're ironing it, cuz it's extremely taught.

[00:42:03] Trey Gerrald: and what's so amazing about it is that I have to iron buttoned on shirts every day for work, because I have to be in a nicely pressed shirt. And it's so obnoxious when you're ironing and it's like, you're trying to like bend it on the seam so that the right crease and the thing yes. It's like so annoying and this, you can literally just pop it right in.

[00:42:25] Trey Gerrald: I have accidentally like, let go by accident and it like hit me and it kind of

[00:42:29] Chelsey Donn: I was thinking that if there's like that much like external

[00:42:32] Trey Gerrald: There's a lot.

[00:42:33] Chelsey Donn: could be dangerous.

[00:42:35] Trey Gerrald: but it does have a little like clip. That's a magnet that attaches to the ironing board.

[00:42:39] Chelsey Donn: okay.

[00:42:40] Trey Gerrald: And you like clip it in anyway. Um, but it's perfect and the results are crazy and it, it literally, it seems so stupid, but this is one of those stupid ideas, like a shark tank idea that like, literally the impact is so extraordinary.

[00:42:56] Trey Gerrald: Yes. Because you Donn don't have to like frat about finding the sea and getting it in the right position. And then you start ironing and then you don't have it straight enough on the bottom. So then you've ironed in this crease. That is so maddening like this literally just like holds into place. You go, you swipe the iron two or three times, and it's perfect.

[00:43:14] Trey Gerrald: You flip the shirt over, you do that side and it's done. It's done.

[00:43:19] Chelsey Donn: kudos to the inventor of that product, whoever you are.

[00:43:22] Trey Gerrald: It really is remarkable. I cannot recommend it highly enough. So for that reason, I'm recommending that everyone purchases it currently at the time of recording it's on sale on Amazon for 12% off.

[00:43:35] Chelsey Donn: Wow. Okay.

[00:43:37] Trey Gerrald: say it's highly worth it. So today I am officially inducting you the perfect sleeve ironing assistant, cuz you really are all of that in a bag of chips.

[00:43:49] Chelsey Donn: You're just perfect.

[00:43:51] Trey Gerrald: wrong button. But that works too. We're we're clapping for you. Perfect.

[00:43:55] Chelsey Donn: Perfect sleeve. You're perfect. What a Queen?

[00:43:59] Trey Gerrald: Ironing is so frustrating and annoying. And I was like, there has to be something in the world that exists to make this less obnoxious. Cuz they are, are like skinny ironing boards for sleeves, but then you have to like shove it. It's a whole thing. This thing is miraculous. It's totally a gimmick and it's amazing and it works.

[00:44:15] Trey Gerrald: So I love you. Perfect sleeve. Yeah.

[00:44:18] Chelsey Donn: I love a Mac.

[00:44:19] Trey Gerrald: Well that's it. We did a, that is another round on the R a RQ claw fair wheel of life.

[00:44:27] Chelsey Donn: mm-hmm Isler. Hope you enjoyed the episode. Thank you everyone else for joining us today. If you like what you heard, please tell a friend.

[00:44:37] Trey Gerrald: If you didn't like what you heard, please tell an enemy. If you have zero friends and you have zero enemies, but you'd like the chance to be featured on our show, then please leave us a review on apple podcast, Spotify pod chaser. We've made it easy with a super cute link. Love the review Queens.

[00:44:55] Trey Gerrald: There's also a one click link in our show description. ECPC beautiful. Perfect.

[00:45:01] Chelsey Donn: Oh, my goodness to support the production of our show. Visit Review That Review dot com slash donate. Even a dollar tip is much appreciated.

[00:45:12] Trey Gerrald: Join our mailing list at Review That Review dot com to stay up to date with all of the goings on in the Queen.

[00:45:18] Chelsey Donn: Hit up our voice mailbox. 1 8 50 review zero. You can follow us on all the socials at the review Queens I'm at ChelseyBD.

[00:45:28] Trey Gerrald: I am at Trey Gerrald on today's after show PODD, Chelsey and Trey are going to be rating and reviewing a One-Star-Zinger Amazon review four, one pair of silicone life size, female mannequin, foot display jewelry, sandal, sock, shoe display, art sketch with nail.

[00:45:54] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God.

[00:45:58] VOICEOVER: But Kafr, it's the.

[00:46:04] Chelsey Donn: just wondering, what is it used for

[00:46:07] Trey Gerrald: Well, it's a pair of silicone feet. So this was, um, sent to be my, by my sister. So to find out what made Chelsey say.

[00:46:20] Chelsey Donn: Wait, wait, wait, sorry. I need to,

[00:46:35] Trey Gerrald: She's wheezing. Wait till you see the picture. I'm gonna show you the picture of the feet on the after

[00:46:43] Chelsey Donn: oh my God. Okay. I Donn just, okay. I'm Donn. What happened? Oh my God. They're so lifelike. You guys, they look like real feet. I can't,

[00:47:19] Trey Gerrald: it's so

[00:47:20] Chelsey Donn: my God. I can't!'. It's so gross. Wow. Things, the things that exist on the internet, you know? Okay. Should we try?

[00:47:31] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. Keep going.

[00:47:33] Chelsey Donn: Find out.

[00:47:42] Trey Gerrald: so gross.

[00:47:45] Chelsey Donn: Okay, fuck you do it. Meryl, Meryl. And to find out what made Trey say,

[00:47:52] Trey Gerrald: We are in agreement, what defiled means, right.

[00:47:55] Chelsey Donn: then join our Patreon page at,

[00:48:04] Trey Gerrald: I'm taking it down. You can't see it now.

[00:48:07] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Then join our patron.

[00:48:15] Trey Gerrald: we say it together?

[00:48:19] Chelsey Donn: Oh, God, I haven't even heard the review yet. Okay. Oh man. All right. If I can't!' do it, I'll make you then join our Patreon page at Patreon dot com slash Review That Review to hear our weekly members only after show companion podcast. And did I do.

[00:48:42] Trey Gerrald: and remember.

[00:48:43] Chelsey Donn: ignore the haters. You're a Queen

[00:48:46] Trey Gerrald: Gender non-specific life-sized female mannequin foot display Queen.

[00:48:53] Chelsey Donn: of course. Bye.

[00:48:55] Trey Gerrald: Bye.

[00:48:56] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God.

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.

[00:49:14] Chelsey Donn: I haven't even heard the review yet. And I'm already like dying.

[00:49:18] Trey Gerrald: Wait, why is it so funny to you?

[00:49:20] Chelsey Donn: I Donn don't know. It's just like so funny that this exist, like that something like this exists and that like, we're reading a review from it. And like, it really, like, it looks like human feet, like it, like, it's just funny that people have like such foot fetishes, I guess.

[00:49:37] Chelsey Donn: I

[00:49:37] Trey Gerrald: I was, yeah,

[00:49:38] Chelsey Donn: I guess I just find foot benches funny,

[00:49:41] Trey Gerrald: that's what I was gonna say. I instantly go to a sexual place, like, cuz you were like, why does this exist?

[00:49:46] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. And then I was like, oh my God, it exists. Cuz like someone wants more feet in their lives. And I just think that's funny,

[00:49:53] Trey Gerrald: and then we're spending time in our life reading this

[00:49:57] Chelsey Donn: reading a review of it.



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