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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 68: "College Dining Hall 1 vs. 5 Stars"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 68: "College Dining Hall 1 vs. 5 Stars"


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hello.

[00:00:32] Trey Gerrald: Hi, and hello listeners. Welcome once again, to Review That Review, the podcast dedicated to reviewing

[00:00:41] Chelsey Donn: reviews were just like Cisco and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:53] Trey Gerrald: mm-hmm that voice was Chelsey Donn.

[00:00:56] Chelsey Donn: that voice was Trey Gerrald.

[00:00:59] Trey Gerrald: Our voices together, create that little dust bunny that we like to call

[00:01:04] VOICEOVER: The review Queens.

[00:01:08] Chelsey Donn: That's

[00:01:09] Trey Gerrald: Cheerio, Queens and

[00:01:12] Chelsey Donn: Queens

[00:01:13] Trey Gerrald: Cheerio to all of our Patreon members who have exclusive access to our companion after show podcast, which features additional reviews, salacious, deep dives, full video recordings, merch discounts, and a whole heck of a lot Mo

[00:01:29] Chelsey Donn: so much Mo

[00:01:31] Trey Gerrald: so if you wanna join them, why Donn don't you go visit our Patreon page?

[00:01:34] Trey Gerrald: You can find that at Patreon dot com slash Review That Review, or just go to our website Chelsey, I just woke up from a nap. How are you?

[00:01:44] Chelsey Donn: I'm good. Everything's good. I'm hoping Goldie's gonna make it through this recording. She's a little feisty. She was doing a little ankle biting before we got started. So hoping for the best.

[00:01:55] Trey Gerrald: Well, as Mariah, once sang, you can make it through the rain.

[00:02:01] Chelsey Donn: Exactly. Exactly. How's

[00:02:04] Trey Gerrald: Donn know girl, I was asleep, passed out

[00:02:08] Chelsey Donn: Wow. Welcome.

[00:02:09] Trey Gerrald: I woke up about 10 minutes ago when I texted you and said, this time's still good. And you actually said, yeah. So I was like, okay, I have to get up. So here I am. That's why I had to restart the beginning.

[00:02:22] Trey Gerrald: That's why I said something about dust bunnies. It's gonna be a fun show.

[00:02:27] Chelsey Donn: at least you're rested, right?

[00:02:30] Trey Gerrald: I think, I don't know. I'm kind of, sort of like out of sorts. I'm like, am I still asleep?

[00:02:35] Chelsey Donn: you could still be asleep. This could all be a simulation who knows

[00:02:39] Trey Gerrald: This is a

[00:02:39] Chelsey Donn: this is a dream. This is a dream. Well, while you're dreaming, do you, were you thinking of like things that annoyed you or complaints that you had? No.

[00:02:48] Trey Gerrald: I don't know why I just put chocolate covered all in

[00:02:51] Chelsey Donn: Oh, I do. Cuz they're

[00:02:52] Trey Gerrald: Something's something's really off what's happening. No, I, it was really like a power nap, so I don't think I actually was sleeping or

[00:02:59] Chelsey Donn: you didn't dream.

[00:03:00] Trey Gerrald: I didn't dream, but I've recently discovered Ben and Jerry's ice cream. I know that like that has existed and like, I'm way behind.

[00:03:09] Trey Gerrald: I'm just not a sweets person. We've talked about a

[00:03:11] Chelsey Donn: well what flavor specifically?

[00:03:13] Trey Gerrald: Well, I realize that Ben and Jerry's will deliver to your house. Did you know

[00:03:18] Chelsey Donn: Wow. Well, I mean, not everywhere, but like, like, is it like a Ben and Jerry's

[00:03:23] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. It's like a, yes. I didn't know this existed. I thought it was just like packaged ice cream.

[00:03:28] Chelsey Donn: There is a storefront right next to like where I was living at NYU at the NYU dorms right down the street. And I think on your birthday, you got a free scoop.

[00:03:39] Trey Gerrald: that sounds. There was like a storefront on the upper west side when we lived there. And I ordered there a couple of times, but it's intimidating. It's hard to start Ben. And Jerry's because as you just asked, like, what's the flavors you're talking about because it's like the names, like don't have anything to do with what the actual contents are.

[00:03:56] Trey Gerrald: So then you have to like Google the contents. It's like, just give me vanilla. I'm not a very flavory person, but I'll tell you in the last week I, when you order from the store for delivery, they hand pack it. So it's like, I'm sure I don't think it's made in that store, but there's a little piece of like paper on top.

[00:04:15] Trey Gerrald: Like when you open the lid and it's like, not frozen crazy, like when you buy it at the store, like at a grocery store.

[00:04:21] Chelsey Donn: Is it in the Ben and Jerry's packaging or is it in like a cup?

[00:04:25] Trey Gerrald: no, it's in like their like packaging, but it doesn't have like, obviously any labels on it other than men and Jerry. So then there's a little white sticker and they like write it with a fun colored Sharpie.

[00:04:34] Trey Gerrald: My favorite flavor is coffee, coffee buzz, buzz.

[00:04:38] Chelsey Donn: that sounds right for you.

[00:04:39] Trey Gerrald: God. It's

[00:04:40] Chelsey Donn: I love America dream.

[00:04:43] Trey Gerrald: Okay. So, well, tell me,

[00:04:44] Chelsey Donn: It's vanilla base for sure. And then it has pieces of like chocolate covered waffle cone inside of it. Oh my God. It's so freaking good.

[00:04:58] Trey Gerrald: I can actually tell you where my discovery came because I was bored a couple of weeks ago and I was watching on YouTube, like how it's made and it was ice cream, but literally this episode was like from 2001 or

[00:05:11] Chelsey Donn: Sure.

[00:05:12] Trey Gerrald: And they were like interviewing the taste tester for, at Ben.

[00:05:15] Trey Gerrald: And Jerry's, it was like this like 70 year old man. He has a gold plated spoon and they were like talking through how they like come up with flavors and they have to like figure, you know, like whatever. But, um, I think that's probably what put it in my head, which is why I ordered it a couple weeks ago. I just realized that anyway, we got into this tangent, but you were asking me about complaints and I think I am ready.

[00:05:37] VOICEOVER: Lodge Complaint.

[00:05:38] Chelsey Donn: okay.

[00:05:39] Trey Gerrald: It happened to you today. And I, as I was going through it, I was like, oh, this is absolutely my Complaint. For later, I have to Lodge a Complaint against speech to text translations. I was texting with Chelsey this afternoon while driving, but safely, I was communicating to Siri in my car, through my car play and it was typing to her.

[00:06:03] Trey Gerrald: And so, you know, it's like, you speak free will, and then like, it like is circling and then you finis