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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 68: "College Dining Hall 1 vs. 5 Stars"



Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 68: "College Dining Hall 1 vs. 5 Stars"

Transcription


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!


THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!



[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hello.

[00:00:32] Trey Gerrald: Hi, and hello listeners. Welcome once again, to Review That Review, the podcast dedicated to reviewing

[00:00:41] Chelsey Donn: reviews were just like Cisco and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:53] Trey Gerrald: mm-hmm that voice was Chelsey Donn.

[00:00:56] Chelsey Donn: that voice was Trey Gerrald.

[00:00:59] Trey Gerrald: Our voices together, create that little dust bunny that we like to call

[00:01:04] VOICEOVER: The review Queens.

[00:01:08] Chelsey Donn: That's

[00:01:09] Trey Gerrald: Cheerio, Queens and

[00:01:12] Chelsey Donn: Queens

[00:01:13] Trey Gerrald: Cheerio to all of our Patreon members who have exclusive access to our companion after show podcast, which features additional reviews, salacious, deep dives, full video recordings, merch discounts, and a whole heck of a lot Mo

[00:01:29] Chelsey Donn: so much Mo

[00:01:31] Trey Gerrald: so if you wanna join them, why Donn don't you go visit our Patreon page?

[00:01:34] Trey Gerrald: You can find that at Patreon dot com slash Review That Review, or just go to our website Chelsey, I just woke up from a nap. How are you?

[00:01:44] Chelsey Donn: I'm good. Everything's good. I'm hoping Goldie's gonna make it through this recording. She's a little feisty. She was doing a little ankle biting before we got started. So hoping for the best.

[00:01:55] Trey Gerrald: Well, as Mariah, once sang, you can make it through the rain.

[00:02:01] Chelsey Donn: Exactly. Exactly. How's

[00:02:04] Trey Gerrald: Donn know girl, I was asleep, passed out

[00:02:08] Chelsey Donn: Wow. Welcome.

[00:02:09] Trey Gerrald: I woke up about 10 minutes ago when I texted you and said, this time's still good. And you actually said, yeah. So I was like, okay, I have to get up. So here I am. That's why I had to restart the beginning.

[00:02:22] Trey Gerrald: That's why I said something about dust bunnies. It's gonna be a fun show.

[00:02:27] Chelsey Donn: at least you're rested, right?

[00:02:30] Trey Gerrald: I think, I don't know. I'm kind of, sort of like out of sorts. I'm like, am I still asleep?

[00:02:35] Chelsey Donn: you could still be asleep. This could all be a simulation who knows

[00:02:39] Trey Gerrald: This is a

[00:02:39] Chelsey Donn: this is a dream. This is a dream. Well, while you're dreaming, do you, were you thinking of like things that annoyed you or complaints that you had? No.

[00:02:48] Trey Gerrald: I don't know why I just put chocolate covered all in

[00:02:51] Chelsey Donn: Oh, I do. Cuz they're

[00:02:52] Trey Gerrald: Something's something's really off what's happening. No, I, it was really like a power nap, so I don't think I actually was sleeping or

[00:02:59] Chelsey Donn: you didn't dream.

[00:03:00] Trey Gerrald: I didn't dream, but I've recently discovered Ben and Jerry's ice cream. I know that like that has existed and like, I'm way behind.

[00:03:09] Trey Gerrald: I'm just not a sweets person. We've talked about a

[00:03:11] Chelsey Donn: well what flavor specifically?

[00:03:13] Trey Gerrald: Well, I realize that Ben and Jerry's will deliver to your house. Did you know

[00:03:18] Chelsey Donn: Wow. Well, I mean, not everywhere, but like, like, is it like a Ben and Jerry's

[00:03:23] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. It's like a, yes. I didn't know this existed. I thought it was just like packaged ice cream.

[00:03:28] Chelsey Donn: There is a storefront right next to like where I was living at NYU at the NYU dorms right down the street. And I think on your birthday, you got a free scoop.

[00:03:39] Trey Gerrald: that sounds. There was like a storefront on the upper west side when we lived there. And I ordered there a couple of times, but it's intimidating. It's hard to start Ben. And Jerry's because as you just asked, like, what's the flavors you're talking about because it's like the names, like don't have anything to do with what the actual contents are.

[00:03:56] Trey Gerrald: So then you have to like Google the contents. It's like, just give me vanilla. I'm not a very flavory person, but I'll tell you in the last week I, when you order from the store for delivery, they hand pack it. So it's like, I'm sure I don't think it's made in that store, but there's a little piece of like paper on top.

[00:04:15] Trey Gerrald: Like when you open the lid and it's like, not frozen crazy, like when you buy it at the store, like at a grocery store.

[00:04:21] Chelsey Donn: Is it in the Ben and Jerry's packaging or is it in like a cup?

[00:04:25] Trey Gerrald: no, it's in like their like packaging, but it doesn't have like, obviously any labels on it other than men and Jerry. So then there's a little white sticker and they like write it with a fun colored Sharpie.

[00:04:34] Trey Gerrald: My favorite flavor is coffee, coffee buzz, buzz.

[00:04:38] Chelsey Donn: that sounds right for you.

[00:04:39] Trey Gerrald: God. It's

[00:04:40] Chelsey Donn: I love America dream.

[00:04:43] Trey Gerrald: Okay. So, well, tell me,

[00:04:44] Chelsey Donn: It's vanilla base for sure. And then it has pieces of like chocolate covered waffle cone inside of it. Oh my God. It's so freaking good.

[00:04:58] Trey Gerrald: I can actually tell you where my discovery came because I was bored a couple of weeks ago and I was watching on YouTube, like how it's made and it was ice cream, but literally this episode was like from 2001 or

[00:05:11] Chelsey Donn: Sure.

[00:05:12] Trey Gerrald: And they were like interviewing the taste tester for, at Ben.

[00:05:15] Trey Gerrald: And Jerry's, it was like this like 70 year old man. He has a gold plated spoon and they were like talking through how they like come up with flavors and they have to like figure, you know, like whatever. But, um, I think that's probably what put it in my head, which is why I ordered it a couple weeks ago. I just realized that anyway, we got into this tangent, but you were asking me about complaints and I think I am ready.

[00:05:37] VOICEOVER: Lodge Complaint.

[00:05:38] Chelsey Donn: okay.

[00:05:39] Trey Gerrald: It happened to you today. And I, as I was going through it, I was like, oh, this is absolutely my Complaint. For later, I have to Lodge a Complaint against speech to text translations. I was texting with Chelsey this afternoon while driving, but safely, I was communicating to Siri in my car, through my car play and it was typing to her.

[00:06:03] Trey Gerrald: And so, you know, it's like, you speak free will, and then like, it like is circling and then you finish and it's like, you are texting and it repeats it back to you. But it's like sometimes a couple of words are off or like, it doesn't understand when you paused for a millisecond, you wanted a period there.

[00:06:21] Trey Gerrald: So then it's just like all of a sudden you keep going. And then, and it's like, what? Or I was texting to David and I said, oh, I was like, there's debris everywhere. And. When it read back what it was sending him. It said strawberries like it, that, and then I had this like thing, like, okay, I'm gonna have to text him again really quick and say, that was like me texting in the car, but I can't just stop with that.

[00:06:48] Trey Gerrald: Cuz then he is gonna be like, don't text and drive. So then I would have to be like, that's me talking through the speech to text feature in the car and then I'm like freaking out because I don't wanna like, you know, it's, it's like, it's just this never ending problem. And I was texting with you. And then I was like, I sent like four texts in a row and I was like, I

[00:07:07] Chelsey Donn: you're like the reason I'm sending you these things in a row.

[00:07:10] Trey Gerrald: And then you're just like, Okay. Or what, like, that's not even what you said, but it's like, anyway, I'm just really frustrated because I, my, my gut here is that the more you use the feature, it learns your voice, I'm expecting, but in order to get through it, you have to keep doing it. And it's just so stressful and frustrating because it's annoying your I'm someone that doesn't like to have spelling errors.

[00:07:34] Trey Gerrald: And it seems like it's just inevitable. And I, I don't like that, cuz I can't, you can't rely on a robot to be a human. And I think that's a tricky, that's a tricky route.

[00:07:45] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:07:46] Trey Gerrald: Anyway. Do you have any experience here? It's really frustrating to me.

[00:07:49] Chelsey Donn: Well, I do. And like, so the thing is I, I find it very distracting to be driving and concerned that the robot isn't gonna get it right. Because of that, like, I am gonna have to check it. So I that's, I mean, you know, this, I am a caller for that reason, because if I'm driving, I will call and leave a voice message for what it is that I want to say and people, I mean, have I done this as a Complaint before I'm gonna Lodge right into my Complaint off of piggybacking off of yours, people have like, such a problem with the calling and the voicemail leaving.

[00:08:31] Chelsey Donn: Like, as if they're like accosted, like I'm attacking them because I'm calling them and leaving them a message. If I call you and you're busy, you are under zero obligation to reply. In fact, if I'm leaving you a voicemail, you're on zero obligation to acknowledge whatever is said in that voicemail, until you have a moment where you're able to listen to it and then reply, if it's an emergency and I call you, maybe you don't answer, then like I'll pull over and text message you.

[00:09:04] Chelsey Donn: Cause I understand that that's like easier just to read real quick, but why are we acting like you're accosted, I'm attacking you just by calling you. Like, I feel like this was really became a millennial thing. Like older generations don't have as much of a problem with this, but starting from our generation and certainly younger.

[00:09:24] Chelsey Donn: It's like, it's become very acceptable to hate on people who call and leave voicemails. Why.

[00:09:33] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. I feel like there is that, um, cultural statement. It's like this could have been an email or whatever, but it is funny because I had the strict impulse at the very beginning before you even started lodging this, when you said. I'll just call you. I had the impulse to say, well, friendship over, but I don't know how, if I actually really feel that way, or if it's just part of our cultural thing, like just text texting is less intrusive for some reason, people assume, but I also

[00:10:03] Chelsey Donn: like,

[00:10:03] Trey Gerrald: like,

[00:10:03] Chelsey Donn: a, that's also like go to therapy and work that out with your therapist. If you really feel like a phone call is a costing, you that's like a bigger issue. I think people really do feel that way though.

[00:10:16] Trey Gerrald: Do you have people that just call you that you wish would not?

[00:10:20] Chelsey Donn: no, I don't. Cuz I am like fine with the phone. And I think that my fellow friends that are fine with the phone are gonna call me and they're gonna know, you know, if I can answer, I can answer if I can, I won't, I'll call you back when I can, like, I don't have a problem with it, but I will say that I have like a working relationship with someone and I'll leave it at that.

[00:10:40] Chelsey Donn: And this person does not like it. If I call them without giving them like huge, fair warning, like there's going to be a phone call because this is an anxiety inducting thing for them. And for me, that's anxiety inducting, because that means if I'm working with you, we've have a working relationship.

[00:10:59] Chelsey Donn: Things are going on. I have a thought about something while I'm driving or whatever it is. I need to pull over to text message you that thing, because if I just call you and like, leave it on your voicemail, or just like, whatever, like That's, I'm accosting you. Like, I need to reserve the time to call you.

[00:11:19] Chelsey Donn: And I just think it's crap. I mean, I think there are limits. I think we don't call anybody before 10:00 AM. We don't call anybody after 10:00 AM. 10:00 PM. Sorry. You know, if it's especially a business like or work related thing. Yeah. So I think that there's etiquette certainly, but I think to like blanket statement, be like, I don't do phone calls.

[00:11:40] Chelsey Donn: I Donn don't do whatever. And like you're in a working relationship with other people. How is that acceptable? I think it's crazy. Quite frankly.

[00:11:50] Trey Gerrald: Right. Chelsea's not talking about me just FYI.

[00:11:53] Chelsey Donn: I'm definitely not talking about Trey. I'm talking about someone else.

[00:11:56] Trey Gerrald: Every time you kept saying that, I was like, I wonder if people are like, oh no, are they in a fight? I wonder if it's all around some sort of interest and boundaries. Because when I think back to when we only had rotary phones, you had to answer because you didn't know who was on the other line and we didn't have caller ID.

[00:12:15] Trey Gerrald: We didn't even have voicemails at a certain time in history. And now it's like you have 24 hour access to any human being with texting or emailing or calling. So even voice memos, we are, oh, Natalie who sings a theme song. She loves to leave a voice memo, which is also like, that's actually interesting, cuz it's not a lot of

[00:12:37] Chelsey Donn: interesting. Cause I thought maybe I could do the voice memo while driving, but actually that's like very difficult to do. You can do that.

[00:12:44] Trey Gerrald: hard, right?

[00:12:45] Chelsey Donn: So, like, I don't know why the voice memos were okay. But the voicemails weren't, that's a whole nother thing. But the thing about the voice memo is that like it is for me, it's like you can't unread a text message, but I can't always listen to your voice memo if I'm in like a public place.

[00:13:05] Chelsey Donn: So that's kind of its own annoyance.

[00:13:08] Trey Gerrald: I hear that.

[00:13:08] Chelsey Donn: the point is I don't like write any of the forms off, I think use your form. It's up to me in terms of the boundaries thing. And this is the last thing I'll say about it. Cause obviously I'm getting heated, but in terms of the boundary thing, I'm all about people having their own boundaries.

[00:13:25] Chelsey Donn: I just don't understand why we think it's a boundary crosser. For me to call you or leave a voicemail. It is within your right as a boundary holder to not listen to that voicemail right away or not respond to that call right away or respond to that call with a text if that's what you'd like to do. But there's nothing to do with me breaking your boundary by making a phone call, especially when I'm driving, because I wanna be a safe driver cuz I'm distracted by the voice to text.

[00:13:54] Trey Gerrald: It is interesting, cuz in my relationship with David, he feels the same way you do about like, if I call you and you can't speak, like you don't have to answer, which was completely new information to me, I always felt like I had to answer the phone, which is probably something in the difference between our upbringings.

[00:14:12] Trey Gerrald: But like even today he called me and I didn't answer it because I was trying to take an app and then I was like, oh God, what if he's in a, can a Hora something bad? I was like, well, he'll call a second time. But, and that you really got heated and that wasn't even your written down Complaint for

[00:14:27] Chelsey Donn: It's on the list. Certainly it's on the list. It wasn't the one I was gonna do today, but then when you got started, I was just like, I'm already hated mind as well.

[00:14:38] Trey Gerrald: Oh, well,

[00:14:38] Chelsey Donn: Well, now that we're so hot and bothered

[00:14:41] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. Let's talk about hot things or things that are, should be hot, but aren't, that sounds like, well, I don't wanna lead the audience down a

[00:14:50] Chelsey Donn: Sure.

[00:14:51] Trey Gerrald: but let's do it. Let's jump in. Should we let's go

[00:14:55] Chelsey Donn: we should, uh, oh, it's a versus episode. Let's do it.

[00:15:01] VOICEOVER: Assess that Kvetch.

[00:15:03] Trey Gerrald: today? Chelsey and I are going to cover a One-Star-Zinger and a five star on the same topic. Today's topic is the USC dining hall.

[00:15:16] Chelsey Donn: That's right. All you college kids who are now back in school right now for this versus episode, Trey selected the One-Star-Zinger and I selected the five star. So to determine who rates first, we gotta flip that quota. I think it's my turn to guess.

[00:15:31] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. So you ready?

[00:15:32] Chelsey Donn: All right, I'm gonna go with heads.

[00:15:36] Trey Gerrald: It's tales. I feel like I've gone first, the last 19 episodes.

[00:15:39] Chelsey Donn: fine. That's what the universe wanted. So Trey is gonna go first. So today we're covering, as Trey mentioned. A USC dining hall. This particular dining hall is called EVK, which stands for everybody's kitchen dining hall at the university of Southern California. According to the USC website, everybody's kitchen offers home style favorites made to order action station pizza, daily grill specials, salad bar, and dessert station.

[00:16:12] Chelsey Donn: They offer monthly theme nights where they transform the dining room, bring in entertainment and let the chefs go all out with the menu each. What are you just, mm.

[00:16:25] Trey Gerrald: I just said mm-hmm but okay.

[00:16:26] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Each residential community is anchored by an all you care to eat D venue, offering a different culinary experience, appealing to a variety of dining preferences and nutritional lifestyles styles.

[00:16:45] Chelsey Donn: At the time of this recording, the EVK dining hall has 34 Yelp reviews with an average rating of two and a half out of five. So right down the middle, it has not been claimed on Yelp by USC. Okay. So with all this background info in mind, well, before we jump in, I just wanna say, did you have a meal plan at school?

[00:17:08] Chelsey Donn: Trey?

[00:17:08] Trey Gerrald: I did my freshman year of college, but never after that. What about you?

[00:17:14] Chelsey Donn: same. And I think that like that all you can you care to dying thing again? Not that I'm like, like pointing any fingers, but the whole freshman 15 thing is definitely the dining hall.

[00:17:25] Trey Gerrald: Mmm.

[00:17:25] Chelsey Donn: Cuz I Donn, Donn don't think that like we're supposed to just be let, to eat lots of fried food like that. I don't know it was, it was dangerous for me cuz there was a dining hall in my freshman.

[00:17:37] Trey Gerrald: Well, it's interesting to me, cuz my memory is that it's all you can eat and it's funny to me, they've changed it to all you care to

[00:17:44] Chelsey Donn: Care to eat. Right. Well, I think they're trying to say like, you don't have to eat at all, but if you want to, you can

[00:17:53] Trey Gerrald: In these certain hours.

[00:17:54] Chelsey Donn: exactly. Ugh. It was dangerous, but it was, it was clutch anyway with all that background in front of mine. I'm so curious to hear what this One-Star-Zinger has to say, Trey. So let's, let's jump right in.

[00:18:06] Trey Gerrald: Let's do it.

[00:18:10] VOICEOVER: Review That Review.

[00:18:14] Trey Gerrald: Alrighty. So yes, I today have the One-Star-Zinger Yelp review for the EVK, which to me does not abbreviate as

[00:18:22] Chelsey Donn: I know Everybody's it's funny, but yeah,

[00:18:26] Trey Gerrald: I think it would be BK. Well, whatever who cares. Um, so today is One-Star-Zinger is written by J dot CT. So I guess it's Jesus Christ, everyone

[00:18:39] Chelsey Donn: Oh, yes. So did he go to USC?

[00:18:42] Trey Gerrald: guess so.

[00:18:43] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:18:44] Trey Gerrald: So this is JCS One-Star-Zinger Yelp review for the EVK dining hall at USC.

[00:18:51] Chelsey Donn: Let's hear it.

[00:18:53] Trey Gerrald: Keep it simple. Is the motto placed prominently on the wall of everybody's kitchen, a less than premier dining hall at a premier university. At first, I thought, keep it simple meant this was the place to go for the basics while the village and Parkside offer an array of complex options, EVK seemed to stick with American classics, burgers, cheese steaks.

[00:19:22] Trey Gerrald: Et cetera, simple cooked vegetables, several types of meat, a concept I happen to like as time went on, however, I began to suspect, keep it simple, actually stands for several other things. Chiefly minimum effort, meaning only cooking, good, fresh food. When a lot of visiting students or parents are on campus or keeping it to simple, to check for caterpillars and their food before serving it to the bright young minds of our generation or keeping the broccoli nice and yellow and the burgers.

[00:20:09] Trey Gerrald: Nice and cold. My confusion is furthered by the seeming lack of ability to fund better quality food in this establishment, coupled with the spontaneous hiring of a DJ to blast our eardrums out while we parentheses try to enjoy our mediocre food, my efforts to expose EVK are probably futile. It well represents the USC practice of spending on any and all things that make it look good, but skimping out when it comes to the nitty gritty and the lives of students actually paying to be there, things like properly colored water and the faucets or showers that produce more than a SU drizzle, things like caterpillar, free food and nice green broccoli. Fight on.

[00:21:17] Chelsey Donn: okay. Alright. Jesus Christ JC. Um, I wish they had given us more information about the caterpillar incident, cuz it's like quite a detail to just like pop in there. I sort of wanted to know like, is this a regular thing there's like constantly caterpillars in the food or was it more of a like yeah.

[00:21:38] Trey Gerrald: time

[00:21:39] Chelsey Donn: This is like not the best food.

[00:21:40] Chelsey Donn: And one time I have this situation, I, I know that this isn't really a part of the assessment, but I just remembered this thing. Did you know that dining halls across America certainly put laxatives in the food

[00:21:54] Trey Gerrald: What now?

[00:21:56] Chelsey Donn: as a safety precaution? Because so many people, like let's say there was a, some sort of like out bacteria outbreak at a dining hall.

[00:22:07] Chelsey Donn: They can't afford for like that many people to get sick. So they put laxatives in the food so that it works through the system faster. And you have less of a chance of getting sick.

[00:22:17] Trey Gerrald: Oh, my word. That's such an American concept.

[00:22:20] Chelsey Donn: Isn't it such a American problem solving.

[00:22:23] Trey Gerrald: Well, I agree. I agree with the thoughts here about needing a little more detail in the story about the caterpillar. This is sort of not helpful for us to write this review, but I will tell you in reading several one stars, I did see multiple mentions of late ladybugs bugs and caterpillars

[00:22:45] Chelsey Donn: that's crazy.

[00:22:46] Trey Gerrald: bar.

[00:22:47] Chelsey Donn: Wow.

[00:22:48] Trey Gerrald: weird. Right.

[00:22:49] Chelsey Donn: That is weird. I do know that like, when I go to the farmer's market and stuff, sometimes there are like little bugs in the lettuce

[00:22:57] Trey Gerrald: But that's outside.

[00:22:58] Chelsey Donn: yeah.

[00:23:00] Trey Gerrald: And that's very fresh. It's a

[00:23:01] Chelsey Donn: cuz it's fresh and it's like on, off the farm and they don't have pesticides and stuff like that. So I don't know.

[00:23:07] Chelsey Donn: That's

[00:23:07] Trey Gerrald: But that's different though, Chelsey, because you're gonna buy that lettuce and then you're gonna

[00:23:12] Chelsey Donn: wash it

[00:23:13] Trey Gerrald: It's not like putting it on a plate to fork,

[00:23:16] Chelsey Donn: You're right. That's this is like we should be serving. I thought it was an interesting. Note that they like really spruce up the dining hall for the parents and prospective students.

[00:23:30] Trey Gerrald: Mm-hmm

[00:23:30] Chelsey Donn: something I wouldn't have really thought of, but I do think that that's super interesting as a student at a university that's so popular that probably has tons of people visiting it all the time.

[00:23:42] Chelsey Donn: Like, I just think that's such a weird thing to be in the dining hall and be like, oh, we have fresh baked cookies today. Must be, uh, prospective students, you know, touring the school or something like that. Like I just think it's interesting to change the menu for that, but it makes sense, I guess.

[00:23:58] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, it's, it's also, I wanna point out here, like this is sort of spelling and grammar ish, but it's interesting cuz you know, we have read many, many reviews and this review really feels like a college student. To me, it feels like they got a thesis statement by like looking around and they're like, Hmm, it's so interesting that keep it simple is on the wall.

[00:24:21] Trey Gerrald: I'm gonna structure this five paragraph essay around,

[00:24:25] Chelsey Donn: the concept of keep it simple.

[00:24:27] Trey Gerrald: and I'm gonna keep bringing it back up. And the vocabulary words are very rich in this and they use a lot of dashes, a lot of commas. They really are adding, supporting evidence minus more details about the caterpillar. But I like that they circle back and bring up the caterpillar one last time.

[00:24:46] Chelsey Donn: Yes.

[00:24:47] Trey Gerrald: It really does read pretty and it feels like I felt nice reading it. Like I felt like it made me feel smart.

[00:24:56] Chelsey Donn: What, what do we think about like the, the tackling onto this review of like the weird colored water and like, was it the shower pressure or like something else?

[00:25:08] Trey Gerrald: I'm glad you said that. Cuz it does feel like UN it doesn't feel part of the

[00:25:14] Chelsey Donn: It's not really like on point with the

[00:25:17] Trey Gerrald: No, I don't think anyone. No. I don't think anyone in the kitchen has anything to do with the water pressure and the dorms,

[00:25:23] Chelsey Donn: Exactly. So I do think that's a little odd,

[00:25:26] Trey Gerrald: they're sort of adding that as like an overarching theme of being a student at this school, which I think is sort of irrelevant cuz they're different departments,

[00:25:35] Chelsey Donn: right? I like that they had the pretension to refer to them and their classmates as bright, young minds

[00:25:43] Trey Gerrald: of our generation.

[00:25:44] Chelsey Donn: of our generation,

[00:25:45] Trey Gerrald: Mm-hmm I also like the phrase skimping.

[00:25:48] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, I do feel like that's a common thing in college is like trying to meet the bottom line or whatever that is, but it's hard cuz I feel. USC is similar to NYU. It's like, you know, a lot of spoiled kids with a lot of very high expectations.

[00:26:04] Chelsey Donn: It does. I'm not leading the witness, but it does make me wonder if like, is JC a little bit more picky? Like, do we think that they're just like an average person? Or I know that like a lot of the people that I went to school with, especially the guys were just like thrilled to have access to this gross junk food where I didn't really, I Donn don't even know if I kept my meal plan for second semester.

[00:26:30] Chelsey Donn: I maybe did. I know I definitely didn't pass freshman year, cuz like I wanted higher quality food. I didn't want dining hall food, but I also like don't necessarily hold that against the dining hall. Like knock on all the wood. I don't think I ever got like food poisoning or anything like that. And that I feel like is like a real measure of a nightmare.

[00:26:49] Chelsey Donn: So I do wonder if JCS opinion applies to everybody.

[00:26:53] Trey Gerrald: Well, it is interesting cuz there, cuz I get the opinion that JC is just saying like we want green broccoli and like hot burgers.

[00:27:03] Chelsey Donn: right. True. True, true, true.

[00:27:06] Trey Gerrald: So that doesn't feel as bratty to me, but it does. I do have it a, I do have an overall feeling that JC feels, uh, what's the word. They, they, they sort of have a chip on their shoulder that everyone is out to get them that comes across in this cuz they're

[00:27:21] Chelsey Donn: do feel that a little bit.

[00:27:23] Trey Gerrald: a premier university, but maybe that's just more supporting evidence.

[00:27:27] Trey Gerrald: I Donn don't

[00:27:28] Chelsey Donn: And maybe that is more of like a college thing. Like having been really knocked off your, like when you go to a college, especially a college like USC, which is a great school. Like everything, the end all be all is getting to a great school. And then afterwards, like life really hasn't kicked JC and the nuts yet, you know,

[00:27:45] Trey Gerrald: I mean, to me, I it's funny, like, I don't think that dining halls are gonna be nice. Like, I don't think that they're gonna be good. So I, I don't know,

[00:27:55] Chelsey Donn: I think there's like varying degrees, you know,

[00:27:59] Trey Gerrald: I suppose, but I they're obviously not fine dining.

[00:28:03] Chelsey Donn: They're not fine dining. And they're not claiming to be, especially like, no matter what way you wanna interpret the, keep it simple, catch, raise, motto, whatever you wanna call it. You know, clearly it is indicating like, yeah, we're keeping it simple.

[00:28:15] Chelsey Donn: We're keeping it basic. So it's not gonna be.

[00:28:18] Trey Gerrald: Do you think there's value in this.

[00:28:20] Chelsey Donn: I think there is, I guess, like other than the cold burgers and the yellow broccoli. I don't know if this feels very One-Star-Zinger to me. I think, I think of One-Star-Zinger reviews as being like more nightmarish, like this terrible thing happened to me.

[00:28:38] Chelsey Donn: Whereas this feels a little bit more like two star, three star where it's like, it's fine. I ate there, like on the days when perspective students were there, it was good on days when they weren't, it wasn't that great. But like, what is so catastrophic in this review? That merits a One-Star-Zinger cause One-Star-Zinger, that's a statement.

[00:28:57] Trey Gerrald: That's a good point. Like I wonder maybe JC did not personally have the caterpillar in their food cuz I'm imagining whoever did have the caterpillar. That's really One-Star-Zinger. I agree with you. I do feel like they're just saying like, this is not good and it doesn't meet the standards of what you would expect for this very prestigious university.

[00:29:17] Chelsey Donn: I think that's yeah. See, I forgot about the caterpillar because it just wasn't attached to any emotion, which I wonder if it was done in just in humor, like making it so sort of lax like that, like, and then caterpillars in the food and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, instead of being like, I was on board until caterpillar, you know,

[00:29:39] Trey Gerrald: also thinking like, maybe that's like an ongoing, urban myth, like, oh, there's caterpillars in the salads at EVK or maybe it's a prank. Like I could see it's a college, like some stupid science major was like, ha ha. Watch what I'm doing. Ethel. know why I said it. Okay. I think that this, like, I am getting, this is not lair and that it's not that great.

[00:30:05] Chelsey Donn: Right. I agree. I think what, where JC is succeeding is they're really setting up my expectations.

[00:30:13] Trey Gerrald: That's the word I was gonna say. They're telling me to not expect anything. Good.

[00:30:18] Chelsey Donn: Right. Which I appreciate. Yeah.

[00:30:22] Trey Gerrald: I do. I, I, I believe them, but I also sort of feel like for some reason, I'm having a hard time telling, like, is it a little shady, cuz they're ending with the phrase fight on and they're talking about other instances where they feel cheated by this university that

[00:30:38] Chelsey Donn: on is like a USC thing. I wanna say that's like a Trojans fight

[00:30:42] Trey Gerrald: oh, oh, oh thank you.

[00:30:46] Chelsey Donn: You're welcome.

[00:30:46] Trey Gerrald: Is USC like the little mascot guy? That's like the Trojan

[00:30:50] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:30:51] Trey Gerrald: yeah, yeah, yeah. I can see his little head. Um, alright. Do you think that this will be a common experience for people?

[00:30:58] Chelsey Donn: I do. I

[00:30:59] Trey Gerrald: I kind of do too. If the broccoli is yellow more than one time, that's a problem. Like it's broccoli.

[00:31:05] Trey Gerrald: It's broccoli's everywhere. It's not like, it's not like we're talking about Flamen it's like.

[00:31:10] Chelsey Donn: that, yeah. That's definitely not great,

[00:31:14] Trey Gerrald: I would be upset though, if I was a student and I had this meal plan, cuz I remember when I was in school, you know, my dad was like, you really need to eat there cuz we're paying for

[00:31:24] Chelsey Donn: right? Exactly.

[00:31:25] Trey Gerrald: to restaurants every so often, but like you, you can't

[00:31:29] Chelsey Donn: paying for this unlimited plan and that's the whole idea. Yeah. Now we

[00:31:34] Trey Gerrald: The couple of chuckles,

[00:31:36] Chelsey Donn: I think they were trying for humor. I don't know how successful JC was, but I do think that they were making an effort.

[00:31:44] Trey Gerrald: this might be a show first for me, but I was entertained reading it. Like it does feel like an essay to me. I, I felt like this is a scholarly piece of writing, which is like, seems like an unusual territory for that. Like I, I enjoyed J's literary voice while reading it.

[00:32:02] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I think that JC made a real Valiant effort, especially with the spelling and grammar being on point. I think we can tell that they're a college student, like you said, they're not just sloping something together. They're they're really, uh, putting together a narrative. All right. I feel like I've, I've gathered all the Intel I need,

[00:32:22] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, let's crown let's crown Jesus. All right. So ChelseyBD and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards in an effort to be fair and not influenced by one another's opinions. We will simultaneously reveal our ratings.

[00:32:38] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating

[00:32:44] VOICEOVER: to.

[00:32:46] Chelsey Donn: All right. I'm holding up three and a half crowns. Trey is holding up four crowns. I went with three and a half for JC, you know, a little bit above middle of the road. I wanted more info in the caterpillar. I love a personal story. As you know, if we're gonna drop some shade, I wanna know really the personal event that happened, because if you're gonna go ahead and call it One-Star-Zinger then give me that show stopping moment that makes this a non-negotiable.

[00:33:16] Chelsey Donn: I don't really feel like JC succeeded on that for me. I think they succeeded in a lot of other places and that's why I went with three and a half, but I couldn't give them more than that because I wanted more, I wanted more from JC in terms of the personal experience and why this was really a, One-Star-Zinger why, uh, four stars from me, Trey.

[00:33:36] Trey Gerrald: Well, I said four because interesting. I, I actually appreciate the cool collectedness throughout this review, which I think we got into a conversation about, like, it doesn't feel like a One-Star-Zinger because it doesn't feel like this. Raging horrifying experience. And then I also found myself wanting more details.

[00:33:56] Trey Gerrald: So I said four, because I think it's beautifully written. I'm, it's hard for me to tell the truthful shady scale here, because I can't tell if JC is on a campaign to pull the wool back from people's eyes that like USC is duping people, because as they say, my efforts to expose are probably futile, which makes me think, oh, okay.

[00:34:19] Trey Gerrald: Like, it seems like the world is showing up in a certain way to JC that life's hard and no one's caring, which is very college student. But, um, I, but I actually enjoy the review. I think the lasting impact here is like, I'm gonna turn all of my romaine leaves upside down. I'm gonna like dig around and like, you know, I don't know if I would, I would probably try to knock at the meal plan, honestly.

[00:34:43] Chelsey Donn: Or maybe seek out other dining calls,

[00:34:47] Trey Gerrald: I would also know that when I tour the school, it's probably not gonna be a good rec. Uh, it's not gonna be

[00:34:53] Chelsey Donn: representation.

[00:34:54] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. That's all smoke and mirrors and acting. I'm acting.

[00:34:58] Chelsey Donn: Right. I agree.

[00:35:00] Trey Gerrald: All right,

[00:35:02] Chelsey Donn: Well that was fun. Should we, should we take a quick break?

[00:35:06] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, let's do a quick game break. And then when we come back, we will hear Chelsea's five star review, and then we can determine is the EVK good or bad? God, I can't wait to decide BRB

[00:35:21] Chelsey Donn: Love it. B B

[00:35:23] Trey Gerrald: B B bye.

[00:35:24] Chelsey Donn: B, B B. Bye. Now.

[00:35:28] VOICEOVER: Hold your crown. We'll be right back.

[00:35:39] Chelsey Donn: Wow.

[00:35:40] Trey Gerrald: Not yet.

[00:35:41] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:36:03] Trey Gerrald: Did you wanna do

[00:36:04] Chelsey Donn: wow. I mean, you're usually the one that does

[00:36:07] Trey Gerrald: could do it

[00:36:09] Chelsey Donn: You do it.

[00:36:11] Trey Gerrald: fight on it's game time.

[00:36:14] Chelsey Donn: That's right. It is game time. We have a brand new game. Trey has no idea. I've created this game specifically for our back to college episode. Trey, are you ready to play a brand new game?

[00:36:29] Trey Gerrald: I'm ready.

[00:36:31] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Should we do that weird Hawaiian music. All right. Trey. This game is called professor or Kvetch.

[00:36:41] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Is it a class that is taught by a real professor or is it the title of a review written by a Kvetch.

[00:36:53] Chelsey Donn: All right. So you're gonna tell me professor or Fetcher.

[00:36:55] Trey Gerrald: so it's like, is this a class or is this a subject

[00:36:59] Chelsey Donn: Do you think it's a real class or did I pull this from the title of a Kvetch

[00:37:04] Trey Gerrald: review? Got it. Okay.

[00:37:07] Chelsey Donn: Are you ready?

[00:37:09] Trey Gerrald: Um,

[00:37:10] Chelsey Donn: or Kvetch

[00:37:13] Trey Gerrald: okay. Yeah, I'm ready. Here we go.

[00:37:14] Chelsey Donn: for the love of Snoop.

[00:37:21] Trey Gerrald: is a Fetcher.

[00:37:23] Chelsey Donn: right. It's Kvetch.

[00:37:25] Trey Gerrald: Yay.

[00:37:27] Chelsey Donn: What if Harry Potter is real?

[00:37:33] Trey Gerrald: Well, I'm thrown off by the tents there. What if Harry Potter is real? I think if it was a class, it would be what if Harry Potter was real? So I'm gonna say this is a feer.

[00:37:48] Chelsey Donn: it is a professor. It is a class taught at Appalachian state university in Boone, North Carolina.

[00:37:58] Trey Gerrald: Whoa,

[00:37:59] Chelsey Donn: Right. Okay. Here we go. Death to fast fashion.

[00:38:08] Trey Gerrald: this is a Kvetch.

[00:38:10] Chelsey Donn: Yes, that is right. Trey. That is AFE.

[00:38:14] Trey Gerrald: Wait, was that about H and M

[00:38:16] Chelsey Donn: Oh. Death to fashion was an Amazon review written by HR for a book called how to get dressed a costume designer's secrets for making your clothes look fit and feel amazing. Okay.

[00:38:30] Trey Gerrald: Hillary RA?

[00:38:31] Chelsey Donn: Exactly. All right. The sociology of Miley Cyrus

[00:38:36] Trey Gerrald: Oh, I think you might be trying to trick me with the word sociology. So I must say this is a Kvetch.

[00:38:46] Chelsey Donn: professor, this is a class taught at Skidmore college.

[00:38:51] Trey Gerrald: What?

[00:38:52] Chelsey Donn: Here we go. Okay. Macon whoopy, Goldbergs cannon.

[00:39:02] Trey Gerrald: This is a course professor.

[00:39:04] Chelsey Donn: course. It's a course. It's a based college by professor Charles. I Nero he's self-identified I think created this class. All right. Street fighting mathematics. right. This is a, this is a course taught at MIT of all places. I know. Isn't it funny? Okay.

[00:39:33] Trey Gerrald: I'm tired right now.

[00:39:35] Chelsey Donn: Tight watery, the good life on a dollar a day.

[00:39:44] Trey Gerrald: I think this is about water bottle, good life company. So I'm gonna say this is a Fetcher.

[00:39:49] Chelsey Donn: That is professor. It's a class at Alfred university flat earth for me.

[00:40:01] Trey Gerrald: this is without a doubt. Fetcher.

[00:40:03] Chelsey Donn: It's a convention. You're right. You're

[00:40:06] Trey Gerrald: is that for

[00:40:07] Chelsey Donn: It is an Amazon review written by Amazon. Good old Amazon customer for Einstein the life and universe by Walter Isaacson.

[00:40:19] Trey Gerrald: earth? For me? That's funny.

[00:40:20] Chelsey Donn: I know, I know. Okay. All right. Deconstructing TV's Buffy.

[00:40:29] Trey Gerrald: This is a professor.

[00:40:31] Chelsey Donn: It is. It's a class at Emerson college. Okay. Stupidity

[00:40:42] Trey Gerrald: This could be both, but I think it's sick Fetcher.

[00:40:45] Chelsey Donn: professor is a class at accidental college. The amazing world of bubbles.

[00:40:57] Trey Gerrald: this is a vecher.

[00:40:59] Chelsey Donn: It is a course at Caltech.

[00:41:01] Trey Gerrald: how do you teach a class on bubbles?

[00:41:04] Chelsey Donn: I know. Okay. The physics of star Trek.

[00:41:12] Trey Gerrald: I could see this being a book, but I'm gonna say this is a course. This is a professor.

[00:41:17] Chelsey Donn: It is a professor at Santa Clara university. Okay. Only the classiest of artwork.

[00:41:30] Trey Gerrald: Fetcher.

[00:41:31] Chelsey Donn: That's right. Okay. This is an Amazon review written by Kathleen B for a portrait of Danny DeVito and his beloved ham. Yes. Tree climbing. That's right. Tree climbing is a one credit course that you can take at Cornell university. Okay. ready. I'm try. Okay. Oh, look a chicken. it is a class totted Belmont university in Nashville, Tennessee.

[00:42:17] Trey Gerrald: Okay.

[00:42:18] Chelsey Donn: Yep. Okay. Materialism and lack of introspection.

[00:42:28] Trey Gerrald: I really feel like this could be both. I'm gonna say it's Kvetch.

[00:42:32] Chelsey Donn: You're right. It is a Kvetch. It is an Amazon review written by Alyssa M of, of the book, Chris Jenner and all the things Kardashian.

[00:42:41] Trey Gerrald: Whoa,

[00:42:42] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Surviving the coming zombie apocalypse.

[00:42:51] Trey Gerrald: professor,

[00:42:54] Chelsey Donn: Wow. I'm surprised you got that so quickly. That is a cause at Michigan state university. Okay. Arguing with judge Judy

[00:43:07] Trey Gerrald: professor.

[00:43:09] Chelsey Donn: that's right,

[00:43:10] Trey Gerrald: I could see that being like a law course.

[00:43:13] Chelsey Donn: right. University of California, Berkeley. Okay. There's like so many good ones. It's so hard for me to like stop,

[00:43:20] Trey Gerrald: can do some on the after show too.

[00:43:22] Chelsey Donn: yeah, we'll do more on the after show. I always pick so many. That was fun. Trey. I think you actually did pretty well. How do you feel?

[00:43:30] Trey Gerrald: I feel good. So I got 11, but I missed six.

[00:43:35] Chelsey Donn: So I think that it's winning over 50% with, uh, with the curve.

[00:43:40] Trey Gerrald: I call that street fighting mathematics.

[00:43:44] Chelsey Donn: I got that a pass.

[00:43:46] Trey Gerrald: How did you guys do listeners? Let us know call in.

[00:43:49] Chelsey Donn: Did you beat Trey? If you did congratulations to you?

[00:43:56] VOICEOVER: Review That Review.

[00:44:00] Trey Gerrald: All righty. We are back from that Rosing game break. I feel rased and wow. Did I do good? Now Chelsey, it's your turn. Let's hear this other side, the flip side of the quarter. One might say, let's hear the heads of USC dining hall, Chelsey. What have you got for us?

[00:44:19] Chelsey Donn: So this review is written by petsy P E T C Y Y. Pet C Y, and petsy gave, uh, the dining hall. EVK five stars.

[00:44:33] Trey Gerrald: Okay.

[00:44:34] Chelsey Donn: Okay, here we go. It's good. BC. I feel included. In everybody's kitchen. I wish the experience could last forever, but unfortunately I have to go back to my dorm and sleep. If sleep wasn't a thing I would live in the soup section of EVK.

[00:44:57] Chelsey Donn: I ate the salad, some of the best leaves I've ever put in my mouth for dessert. I got the ice cream, there were three options, but only one of them worked that's okay. Because that's the exact one. I wanted leave it to EVK to know exactly what the people want. Really an institution created to cater to the masses.

[00:45:21] Chelsey Donn: Here's the drink? I had poetic an emotional name that brought tears into my eyes. Blueberry spa water PLS, eat here. I beg of you. It was an out of body experience.

[00:45:40] Trey Gerrald: What

[00:45:42] VOICEOVER: Mm.

[00:45:45] Trey Gerrald: do you think that this was a joke review?

[00:45:48] Chelsey Donn: I think it is a joke, but I also think the petsy probably likes the soup section and the ice cream. What what's Ew.

[00:45:56] Trey Gerrald: I'm just imagining like the slop of a so. But I'm also coming into this from JCS review. So let me, let me erase that for a

[00:46:06] Chelsey Donn: Right. Let's put That's cause like, have you ever gotten to whole foods? And they have like all those like soup things there is that gross,

[00:46:12] Trey Gerrald: guess what I was bringing into the conversation, which I'm gonna take out is like, if there's not a high integrity level for the food, then the soup could be really foul. Okay. So let me rewind here. I have a question here. Petsy says that they have three nozzles for the ice cream, but only one of them works, which is all okay.

[00:46:30] Trey Gerrald: Cuz that's one they wanted. Okay. Well, what if you wanted one of the two that wasn't there that doesn't sound like a five star to me?

[00:46:38] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I think that we have a similar situation with both of these where like, maybe we're not assigning the right amount of stars to the review that's given,

[00:46:45] Trey Gerrald: what is this saying about the future of America?

[00:46:48] Chelsey Donn: But I do like that. Like they didn't just wax poetic. Like they owned up to the fact that there were three options and only one of them worked.

[00:46:57] Chelsey Donn: I think this is a perfect example of two people who really did have different expectations. Like petsy likes the soup, she's in it for the lettuce. She she's in it for the ice cream. She's in it. She loved the blueberry spa water,

[00:47:13] Trey Gerrald: You know what I just thought about? I am imagining those like frozen yogurt machines where it's like vanilla, swirl and chocolate. So if two of them weren't working, that means they ran out of either vanilla or they ran out of chocolate. Right. Cause it's two flavors and the middle one is both. So if you're out of two, that means they ran outta

[00:47:33] Chelsey Donn: Uh, yeah, but I guess it also could just be like vanilla chocolate strawberry. It could just be like

[00:47:38] Trey Gerrald: Have you ever seen that in your life?

[00:47:40] Chelsey Donn: Yeah,

[00:47:41] Trey Gerrald: You have seen a frozen yogurt machine. That was three flavors.

[00:47:45] Chelsey Donn: for sure. Yeah. I mean, look at like 16 handles, there's like 16 different flavors, right?

[00:47:53] Trey Gerrald: Well, that's called 16 handles. I'm talking about a dining hall ice cream machine.

[00:47:59] Chelsey Donn: saying yes. The dining hall ice cream machine is usually vanilla chocolate in the middle is chocolate. So you're, that's an interesting point, Trey, because if it, if we are to believe that it's your standard three tap Foyo machine, then if they were at, let's say I won a vanilla, but they were out of chocolate.

[00:48:19] Chelsey Donn: Well then yeah, chocolate would definitely be down and the vanilla chocolate would be down because there's not gonna be any chocolate to make a squirrel.

[00:48:25] Trey Gerrald: Right.

[00:48:26] Chelsey Donn: So. Anyway, if that or the case, I'm a vanilla girl. I would be happy. Like, like petsy,

[00:48:33] Trey Gerrald: You know, the reason that I think this is probably jokey, there's a lot of indicators, but like saying that they wish they could sleep there or that they didn't have to sleep. So they could just stay there. That feels very not truthful. Also some of the best leaves I've ever

[00:48:47] Chelsey Donn: I know I ever put in my mouth.

[00:48:49] Trey Gerrald: Ew.

[00:48:50] Chelsey Donn: I know

[00:48:52] Trey Gerrald: Cause see, now I'm starting to wonder like, maybe this is so below par that now the Yelp is getting troll.

[00:48:58] Chelsey Donn: maybe.

[00:49:00] Trey Gerrald: Okay. What about the review makes this question that maybe there is some truth here that the blueberry water is good.

[00:49:06] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Well, I guess the specific things that they mentioned make me feel like there's like truth behind the joke, like yeah. Like the soup section and. The Le the leave. So it's like, I guess there's a salad bar and the ice cream and the, I don't know. I mean, like, people are dramatic, especially in college.

[00:49:26] Chelsey Donn: So I would, you know, how like different dining halls kind of Excel in different areas. I would buy that, like, this is the one you wanna go to, if you wanna get like the, although only one of the ice creams is working, but you're coming for the pro or the soup, or maybe like just to get a simple salad, you know,

[00:49:46] Trey Gerrald: can I ask you a question? When was yours? When did pet see? Oh, cause I saw a bunch of reviews that were One-Star-Zinger that said they removed the ice cream machines.

[00:49:56] Chelsey Donn: Oh, interesting. I don't know. I mean, it definitely is a little bit jokey. Admittedly, there were not that many, five star reviews for, you know, obviously we said that there was what, a 2.5 overall, so. You know, there weren't very many F star reviews, so I didn't have a ton to pull from. So I don't think that petsy is like the end all be all in terms of whether or not I would go to this dining hall, but it did make me feel like maybe not everybody hates it,

[00:50:24] Trey Gerrald: Hmm.

[00:50:24] Chelsey Donn: you know?

[00:50:25] Trey Gerrald: Do you think there's unique information in this review?

[00:50:29] Chelsey Donn: I mean, I learned that there's a soup section.

[00:50:35] Trey Gerrald: yes.

[00:50:36] Chelsey Donn: right. And that there's ice cream and blueberry spot water.

[00:50:40] Trey Gerrald: also feels like the opposite end of JC because the spelling grammar, I D K L

[00:50:47] Chelsey Donn: Very colloquial PLS, BC. Yeah.

[00:50:51] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. Are there misspellings or just, um, lazy spellings?

[00:50:56] Chelsey Donn: No, no misspellings, just like it reads like a text message. You know what I mean? Like, and it's two years old. I don't know how old the other one was, but like, it does feel very like gen Z, you know, it's not all written in lowercase, but like it has that like text message abbreviation feel.

[00:51:15] Trey Gerrald: Oh, I thought you didn't text. I thought you only called

[00:51:18] Chelsey Donn: I didn't say I don't text. I just don't text and drive Trey.

[00:51:22] Trey Gerrald: and angry that quick.

[00:51:26] Chelsey Donn: God.

[00:51:27] Trey Gerrald: is a typical experience? Do you think That's I, you know, here, wait, I can actually play both sides of the field on this because we've talked about freshman 15. I can experience it's like you do want to not leave. Like you just wanna keep hoarding this ice cream.

[00:51:43] Chelsey Donn: because the thing is also like, once you leave, like that's the whole trick of the dining hall is like you swipe once you're in there that counts as like one of your meals or whatever. And then as soon as you leave, if you wanna come back in there, well, then you gotta swipe another meal. So like, I do understand that feeling of like, not wanting to leave, because what if I get back up to my room and I'm like, oh, I really want that ice cream.

[00:52:06] Chelsey Donn: I really want that thing. It's like, gotta get it all in now. I mean, it obviously is a joke. And I hear you. I think that the problem with these sort of jokey reviews that really go over the top leaning into the joke is it is hard to tell where are we being truthful? Where are we giving real information?

[00:52:26] Chelsey Donn: You know, is the soup really amazing? Is the blueberry water really? I mean the whole poetic here's the drink. I had colon poetic, an emotional name that brought tears into my eyes. Blueberry spa water, like.

[00:52:39] Trey Gerrald: see that makes me think that they don't even have the blueberry water. I think that that occurs to me in hearing it. As an extension of the joke, like they don't even have, like, it's just gross water. That's brown, like the faucets in the gym or in the showers.

[00:52:55] Chelsey Donn: Oh, here's

[00:52:56] Trey Gerrald: I mean, who knows? We'll never know, but like, it all, it all occurs to me that this is such a farcical ruse because everyone knows that this EV K

[00:53:04] Chelsey Donn: So like, if I read it, they would be like, if I read it and I went to USC, I would, I, I gotta ask my friend that went to USA. You know, if she would cosign on any of this or if this is all just a joke, it is hard to say petsy did go hard with the tone.

[00:53:20] Trey Gerrald: Does petsy have other reviews?

[00:53:22] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, they do. They've written 18 other reviews and they've included 14 pictures though.

[00:53:28] Chelsey Donn: They, they didn't include any pictures here.

[00:53:31] Trey Gerrald: I mean, I'm making this up and, but it does occur to me that this is all ingest, which feels shady to me. like the truth is everything I'm saying is not

[00:53:42] Chelsey Donn: The truth is that it's terrible. All of the ice creams never work. I can only eat the soup or the leaves. Everything else is gross and I'm calling it spa water, but it's actually just like muddy water.

[00:53:55] Trey Gerrald: right.

[00:53:55] Chelsey Donn: It might be.

[00:53:56] Trey Gerrald: knows? I don't know, but I do think there's an impact for me.

[00:54:00] Chelsey Donn: And what is that impact?

[00:54:01] Trey Gerrald: I'll tell you in the

[00:54:02] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Should we crown?

[00:54:04] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, I think I could. You

[00:54:05] Chelsey Donn: I think I'm ready. Okay.

[00:54:07] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating

[00:54:13] VOICEOVER: to.

[00:54:14] Chelsey Donn: Two crowns, two crowns. The Queens are unanimous. Sorry, try, let us know. What's the impact.

[00:54:20] Trey Gerrald: All right. I'm totally creating this on my own and making it up. It could, it could be real. It just occurs to me that it's all a joke. I mean, there are 34 reviews. You see that it's a two and a half outta five rating. It feels to me that petsy was just like, I there's an impact for me that this is only corroborating, that this is a really bad dining hall,

[00:54:46] Chelsey Donn: Right.

[00:54:47] Trey Gerrald: which is kind of funny.

[00:54:48] Trey Gerrald: And also I'm saying the two stars, because it does look like a text message. And it also feels like there's not really anything to gather here other than they have soup

[00:54:59] Chelsey Donn: right

[00:54:59] Trey Gerrald: and that the ice cream machine doesn't always offer all of the offerings. So it does make me think I need to read more reviews. So the impact sort of is like, maybe this is just really bad, which is the opposite of the five star.

[00:55:13] Trey Gerrald: So then I'm sort of like, whoa, this is like the matrix or something. So two stars, cuz it's more confusing than it is insightful. But I think maybe the joke, if I read it, if I lean into what I think is all ingest, maybe that is the insight, which is the impact. So I said two stars, cause I'm confused, pat.

[00:55:31] Trey Gerrald: Petsy why,

[00:55:32] Chelsey Donn: I'm conf petsy why pets. Petsy. Why, why, why petsy why.

[00:55:37] Trey Gerrald: Chelsey Chelsey? Why, why did you say two crowns?

[00:55:42] Chelsey Donn: sit two crowns, mostly for all the same reasons that you said. I don't think I can, as a Review Queen, you know, sign off on this review because I don't think there's enough information on the bone, but I do think petsy put through an effort clearly was going for a style.

[00:55:57] Chelsey Donn: Clearly was going for some humor, was having fun with it is an anomaly, right? Is a five star amongst One-Star-Zinger two stars. So they had to stand out one way or another. I sort of wish they would've stood out in more of a, like, I've heard all the batter views and here's my defense, but they decided to go with a different tactic.

[00:56:18] Chelsey Donn: And for that, I gave them the two crowns. But in terms of this being a useful review, couldn't really give more than that.

[00:56:24] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, I agree.

[00:56:26] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Fight on

[00:56:27] Trey Gerrald: Fight on. Would you get a meal plan or no?

[00:56:31] Chelsey Donn: if my only option was to go to this dining hall.

[00:56:34] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. I think the impact here is like I would choose to not attend this EVK kitchen.

[00:56:39] Chelsey Donn: Right. No,

[00:56:41] Trey Gerrald: a point you brought up early on in the episode is like, are these privileged kids that don't have a real grasp of reality yet? And maybe it's just totally fine.

[00:56:50] Chelsey Donn: but I guess, you know, to counteract my own point, you're, if you're somebody that isn't this picky who isn't this entitled, who let's say is like, you know, your dad, you were, you guys were trying to be economical with your meal plan. If like, that was really what you were thinking about then are you gonna even bother going to Yelp to look at the reviews?

[00:57:12] Chelsey Donn: Are you just sort of gonna be like, it is what it is? I'll make it work.

[00:57:16] Trey Gerrald: I think I would just do what it is, what it is. I don't think I would be looking on help.

[00:57:21] Chelsey Donn: Right.

[00:57:22] Trey Gerrald: and even more telling of all we didn't even talk about. Why have they not claimed it on Yelp?

[00:57:28] Chelsey Donn: Would you claim a two and a half?

[00:57:31] Trey Gerrald: Well, that's why I'm saying that makes me think it is true.

[00:57:34] Chelsey Donn: right, exactly.

[00:57:36] Trey Gerrald: if we're doing this statistic from this five star, that in my opinion is actually a One-Star-Zinger like, then that makes it even lower than two and a half.

[00:57:44] Chelsey Donn: right. True, true,

[00:57:45] Trey Gerrald: 34 reviews.

[00:57:47] Chelsey Donn: right. Petsy really, she she's a tip in the scales.

[00:57:51] Trey Gerrald: She's a statistics major.

[00:57:53] Chelsey Donn: Oh, you're right. That was super fun. That made me nostalgic for college again.

[00:57:58] Trey Gerrald: I gotta get my trapper keeper.

[00:58:01] Chelsey Donn: Anyway, enough of that. All right. My Queen we've reached the most Regal portion of our show. Who are you inducting today for?

[00:58:10] VOICEOVER: My Royal line.

[00:58:12] Trey Gerrald: Okay. Today I'm really excited because I am going to induct a fellow podcast.

[00:58:18] Chelsey Donn: Woo.

[00:58:20] Trey Gerrald: All right. So I recently discovered, and actually love this new podcast it's called what the hell was that? And the co-hosts Nate and Mike are really funny. So what the premise of the show is they watch these sort of notoriously questionable films.

[00:58:37] Trey Gerrald: And then they do really funny recaps where they literally go like beat by beat of the plot and break down. What the hell was that? You know, they have like all of their own like stories and stuff that they like toss in there. So it really is like, you're hanging out with the two of them and you it's like, you know, it's similar to us in a way where it's like funny to like pick things apart and try to like find the reasoning.

[00:59:01] Trey Gerrald: They also like cover reviews of the, like from, uh, audience members, like from rotten tomatoes, et cetera. So it's really funny. My fav I, two of my favorite episodes, they do the dere Hansen movie, which is funny. And then they also do Ella, which is very funny, which I did not see. But

[00:59:20] Chelsey Donn: I saw it.

[00:59:21] Trey Gerrald: did you think it was bad?

[00:59:23] Chelsey Donn: I liked it. I didn't think it was bad. I mean, they obviously did. I'm curious to listen to the episode.

[00:59:29] Trey Gerrald: Well, that's a funny one because they actually watched it twice. and then they were saying like, they couldn't because something happened. So they couldn't actually record after they first saw it. So then they had to like find another theater where it was playing and it was like an hour away. Um, so then they had to like drive and like to go and hate, watch this thing to then record.

[00:59:47] Trey Gerrald: And then they weren't able to, and then they're like, we cannot like watch this movie a third time. But they, what I thought was interesting is they were bringing up the parallels of a lot of the trappings of the devil wears Prada is actually in the blend of car, which only made me wanna watch it more

[01:00:04] Chelsey Donn: I can see that. I can definitely see

[01:00:07] Trey Gerrald: anyway. So I'm highly recommending what the hell was that? The podcast it's really great, really fun. Uh, if you just wanna like, have something fun to listen, to disengage from the harsh realities of life, get some laughs you know, tits and, um,

[01:00:23] Chelsey Donn: Take a break from the true crime.

[01:00:24] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, exactly. Or if you yourself have written, cuz you know, we don't really cover film on this podcast, but if you are someone that writes reviews on rotten tomatoes, et cetera, you should go check out what the hell was that cuz maybe they have picked up one of your reviews and you're being featured on this podcast.

[01:00:42] Trey Gerrald: You didn't even know. So for that reason I am inducting. What the hell was that podcast with cohost, Nate and Mike, they're really fun and enjoyable. I highly recommend you go over there and you give them some likes, write them a review, tell them that we sent you. So we've included in the show notes below all of the links to find what the hell was that.

[01:01:05] Trey Gerrald: Make sure you check it out.

[01:01:06] Chelsey Donn: I'm gonna be clicking. I know that

[01:01:08] Trey Gerrald: What the

[01:01:08] Chelsey Donn: love that so much. Love my fellow podcast community have such love for anyone else that makes a podcast now that I know everything that goes into it, that also reminded me, my friend, Lauren, my best friend, since I was like six came over, was like, I think in high school I had just got my wisdom teeth out and she brought over a bunch of DVDs for cuz that was still a thing.

[01:01:30] Chelsey Donn: And we watched, I wanna say the Mary Kay Ashley movie getting there.

[01:01:36] Trey Gerrald: no idea.

[01:01:37] Chelsey Donn: And it was so bad that we both like turned to each other and we're like, was that really that bad? And we watched it a second time to confirm that it was that bad. And the reality is yes, it was, it was that bad.

[01:01:51] Trey Gerrald: Nate and Mike, there's your next film getting there? Starting Mary Kate. Ashley. Allon

[01:01:55] Chelsey Donn: little throwback to when Mary Kay and Ashley acted. Remember that

[01:01:59] Trey Gerrald: I do, oh my God. One time I was going to an audition on like the lower east side and the elevator opened, like it was going like the 12th floor, but the elevator opened on like the fourth and they were both standing there to get on the elevator and it was so scary. Like just the door opened and they're both in black trench coats, like with their like matted hair, you know, it was really alarming

[01:02:26] Chelsey Donn: I went to college with them. They went to, I mean, they, I think dropped out, but they weren't my year Attish.

[01:02:31] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. That's right.

[01:02:32] Chelsey Donn: Crazy. Crazy.

[01:02:34] Trey Gerrald: Good for them.

[01:02:35] Chelsey Donn: Good for them. They're like billionaires. They're amazing entrepreneurs. If nothing else.

[01:02:40] Trey Gerrald: Well, and the energy of the Olson twins, we did it Queen that is another round on the R and RQ Ferris wheel of winners.

[01:02:49] Chelsey Donn: We solve that crime by dinnertime. Thank you for joining us today. If you like what you heard, please tell a friend.

[01:02:56] Trey Gerrald: If you didn't like what you heard, tell an enemy. If you have zero friends and zero enemies, but you would like the chance to be featured on our show. Please leave us a review wherever you are listening to this podcast right now, we've made it very easy with a super cute hyperlink. Love the podcast.com/the review Queens.

[01:03:15] Trey Gerrald: There is also as always a one click link in the show description below easy peasy, beautiful Olsons.

[01:03:20] Chelsey Donn: If you'd like to support the production of our show, visit Review That Review dot com slash donate. Even a dollar tip is much appreciated or a billion dollars. If you're an Olsons win

[01:03:32] Trey Gerrald: Come on, Mary Kay, send us a billion dollars. Join our mailing list at Review That Review dot com to stay up to date with all of the goings on in the Queen.

[01:03:40] Chelsey Donn: and hit up our voice mailbox. 1 8 50 review zero. You can follow us on all the socials at the review Queens. I'm at ChelseyBD.

[01:03:49] Trey Gerrald: And I am at Trey Gerrald. On today's after show pod, Chelsey, and I are gonna be rating a two star review from amazon.com four. This is a book ChelseyBD titled knitting with dog hair, better, a sweater from a dog, you know, and love than a sheep. You'll never meet.

[01:04:12] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God. Oh my God. Stop it. I can't

[01:04:17] Trey Gerrald: So to find out what made Chelsey say.

[01:04:19] Chelsey Donn: speaking of dramatic stories with people with like weird Al Yankovich hair and to find out what made Trey say

[01:04:26] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, because we're talking about Michelle getting amnesia on a horse back ride, like she was old enough to be riding a horse by the time it ended.

[01:04:33] Chelsey Donn: Then join our Patreon page at Patreon dot com slash Review That Review to hear our weekly members only after show companion podcast.

[01:04:44] Trey Gerrald: Oh my God. Wait.

[01:04:45] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[01:04:46] Trey Gerrald: Don't forget.

[01:04:47] Chelsey Donn: Ignore the haters. You're a Queen.

[01:04:50] Trey Gerrald: I love to do that. Gender nonspecific Queen

[01:04:54] Chelsey Donn: Of course. Bye.

[01:04:57] Trey Gerrald: brother for sale only 50 cents.

[01:05:03] Chelsey Donn: my God. I love it.


Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.



[01:05:21] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God. Remember when they were credited as Mary, Kate, Ashley Olson at the end of full house.

[01:05:29] Trey Gerrald: At the beginning.

[01:05:30] Chelsey Donn: Oh yeah, the yeah, top

[01:05:32] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. That's that was shady

[01:05:34] Chelsey Donn: that was kind of shady. Like they just wanted us to think that they were one person. I wonder they didn't wanna act anymore.

[01:05:39] Trey Gerrald: when they wouldn't do fuller house and it was like a whole thing.

[01:05:42] Chelsey Donn: I kind of respect it cuz like let the what's the sister's name again? She's

[01:05:47] Trey Gerrald: I knew this was gonna happen. Elizabeth Olson,

[01:05:50] Chelsey Donn: Elizabeth Olson. She's really taken the torch.

[01:05:54] Trey Gerrald: why didn't they just hire her?

[01:05:56] Chelsey Donn: She probably didn't wanna do it. She does like sexier stuff.

[01:05:59] Trey Gerrald: like, yeah, that

[01:06:00] Chelsey Donn: like, I'm good.

[01:06:01] Trey Gerrald: She's like, I'm actually, I'm, I'm not doing lifetime Christmas movies.

[01:06:06] Chelsey Donn: I'm not advertising Chloe. Just saying

[01:06:11] Trey Gerrald: Although the best character name to ever exist is Kimmy. Gibbler.

[01:06:15] Chelsey Donn: Kim gibber is a good name. It's something about the G in the B

[01:06:19] Trey Gerrald: It tells you everything you need to know about who that character is.

[01:06:22] Chelsey Donn: It's so true. I love that. Good observation

[01:06:27] Trey Gerrald: Thank you.

[01:06:29] Chelsey Donn: BL.