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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 11: "Disney Store / Pet Dematting Comb"

Updated: Sep 17, 2021



Transcript of Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald Episode 11 "Disney Store / Pet Dematting Comb" for the differently abled and those who prefer to read.


Review That Review with Chelsey Donn and Trey Gerrald

Episode 11

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!


CHELSEY: [00:00:00] Hi.

TREY: [00:00:31] Hi Chelsey. Hello? Hello everyone. All of your listeners. Welcome to Review That Review the podcast dedicated to reviewing...

CHELSEY: [00:00:41] I'm not going to 'Yes, And' that. Is that bad? ...reviews! I don't know what that was. I thought it was Angela at first. And then it changed to like Julie Andrews.

TREY: [00:00:50] I don't even know how I got, I don't know why my voice went there, but I followed it. And I... remember Angela? R I P. Okay, anyway.

CHELSEY: [00:00:57] Oh Angela, anyway, we're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scaping and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

TREY: [00:01:09] That's Chelsey Donn and that's Trey Gerrald, and together we are your trusty

VOICEOVER: [00:01:14] The Review Queens.

TREY: [00:01:20] I can't set her up. Thinking, she's going to change...

CHELSEY: [00:01:23] to say Review Queens?

TREY: [00:01:25] Whatever who cares. How's your crown today, Tracy.

CHELSEY: [00:01:28] Oh, Che! Um...

TREY: [00:01:31] It's never going to get old. I'm so obsessed with that. Literally a listener...

CHELSEY: [00:01:36] Hammond Cheese!

TREY: [00:01:37] ...came up with that.

CHELSEY: [00:01:38] Love you. Anyway, my crown's good. It feels like a little bit obstructed by, I'm wearing headphones for the first time, which is a strange experience for me. Like, I feel like I should...

TREY: [00:01:49] ...especially with that top knot! I think that's adding...

CHELSEY: [00:01:52] Yeah, the top knot, like, I I'm, like not sure if the headphones need to go in front of the top knot or behind it, I sort of feel like I'm like recording a song and a booth or doing ADR or something like that. So, I'll get used to it.

TREY: [00:02:05] You have a lot on your head today.

CHELSEY: [00:02:06] I do. There's there's a lot happening. There's... there's many things to coordinate. How are you doing? How's your week been, Trey?

TREY: [00:02:13] Good. I'm good. My week's good. Um, yeah.

CHELSEY: [00:02:16] Oh, wow.

TREY: [00:02:17] How was your week?

CHELSEY: [00:02:18] Sounds good.

TREY: [00:02:18] I'm trying to think...

CHELSEY: [00:02:19] Sounds good. From all the elaborate details you just gave us. I imagine it was a great week.

TREY: [00:02:23] I don't really know. I don't really have anything interesting.

CHELSEY: [00:02:27] That's fine. Sometimes it's just a week. Sometimes, I don't even remember what happened yesterday and that's okay.

TREY: [00:02:33] I really do notice as I get older, my short-term memory is less and less. Like, I really am sort of like what, even what even have I been doing?

CHELSEY: [00:02:40] I know, it's sad, but I feel you.

TREY: [00:02:42] What about you?

CHELSEY: [00:02:43] My week was good. You know, I'm still getting used to the puppy. Goldie. I had a friend come over last night to meet Goldie, which was really nice. I love this friend so much because she's like just brutally honest in a way that is extremely refreshing. And she's also my friend that I always go to for skincare advice. The under eye circles situation has been really bad. Like, can you give me some info on like, what I could possibly do? It feels like puffy and dark and whatever. And she was like, can I be honest with you? And I was like, yeah, of course please. And she's like, how much water are you drinking? And I was like, not very much. She's like, you're extremely dehydrated. I could tell from like the second that I saw you, and there's no eye cream, that's going to be able to fix that. You just need to drink some water. And I was like, you're right. And I appreciate that.

TREY: [00:03:33] Well, yeah, cause that's really what's going on and it's not about making a buck.

CHELSEY: [00:03:38] Well, I mean, first of all, she's not getting commission on this. She's just like my she's like, the equivalent of my friend, Steph, who's my doctor friend. Like whenever there's anything medically going wrong with me, my dog, my parents, my sister, like a friend I'm going to bother Steph. And this friend is the same with skincare. So like she's giving free advice to me on the regular. So I appreciate the honesty, you know?

TREY: [00:04:01] Dehydration is a real thing

CHELSEY: [00:04:02] It is! And I'm not good at drinking water. And sometimes you need a little slap on the wrist.

TREY: [00:04:07] Well, I'm glad that she slapped your wrist. You need to drink your water, Chelsey.

CHELSEY: [00:04:10] It's true. I just realized I don't even have water right now, which is what's wrong with me.

TREY: [00:04:14] Well, I have this like 32 ounce cup with me always.

CHELSEY: [00:04:17] I know. You're very good at drinking water.

TREY: [00:04:20] Aww, thank you. That means so much.

CHELSEY: [00:04:24] You are!

TREY: [00:04:25] Well, I'm glad that we're connecting about water. I'm glad that your, friend is highlighting the importance. You know, I have to remind my nephew a lot to drink water.

CHELSEY: [00:04:34] Okay. And you can add me to the list, like when you remind your nephew, just, just figure you're probably going to have to remind me too.

TREY: [00:04:41] Uh, should you go get water, right now?

CHELSEY: [00:04:43] Prob...I should probably right?

TREY: [00:04:45] No, our listeners are more important. Is there anything, um,

CHELSEY: [00:04:48] Alright!

TREY: [00:04:49] Do you want to share anything? That's making you very angry?

CHELSEY: [00:04:52] Yeah.I do actually.

VOICEOVER: [00:04:54] Lodge A Complaint.

CHELSEY: [00:04:55] I'd like to lodge a complaint against Netflix and it's not for what you think. I understand. I love Netflix. I spend a lot of time on there. Okay. Netflix is great. Just like don't come at me. Okay. I love you, Netflix. I like desperately want to be on a show or a movie that's on you. I love you. However, let's just talk about it for a second. When I turn on Netflix. Okay. I don't know why. I don't know when this started and I don't know why they did it, but there's this loud obnoxious sound: da-na-nah! Like it's like, there's like your's doesn't do that?

TREY: [00:05:27] DUN-NUN-NUH! It's like the Netflix logo sound.

CHELSEY: [00:05:31] It is so obnoxious. It doesn't matter if my TV volume is at like 10 or if it's at like 70, no matter what it is so loud, loud, every single time it happened. Well, first of all, like it doesn't happen. Every time, but there's no way to turn it off. I've looked into this. I've done research and I cannot find any way to turn this off. Every time it happens, it scares me. Now it scares Goldie. It's just like, it's too much. And I get, I want you to have your little like opening moment sound. I think you deserve that, but like, can we just control the volume please?

TREY: [00:06:08] That's a great point. I thought you were going to talk about how they auto-play their trailers and that makes me so annoyed.

CHELSEY: [00:06:13] Oh, that too. That's annoying too. And then just like in general, this is like more of a general thing. Like not necessarily just against Netflix, but do you know, like when you're watching a movie. And then like you have it on a nice volume. You're enjoying it. Like it's a good experience. And then all of a sudden, like a song comes on or like something happens in the movie and it's like so loud, like for no reason, it's just like, I don't know what happened to the sound mixing or if this is like a theatrical to streaming issue. But like, it is not consistent. And without a doubt, like anytime that happens, I feel like if I'm like at home with my mom, she's like, make that lower, like it's too loud. And, or like, if I'm with my friends, they'll be like, it's too loud. Make the TV lower. And it's, I understand. I'm not, I haven't changed anything. You've been watching this movie for the past 45 minutes, completely fine with the volume of the movie. Like I, it's not my fault that this, you know, whatever that the sound mixing was off.

TREY: [00:07:12] I've noticed that with, YouTube, like whenever it goes to an ad, the ad volume is always slightly higher, which just means that like we're being withheld from a certain decibel point, so that ads can be louder. Like I was literally thinking about this two days ago. That's upsetting.

CHELSEY: [00:07:29] Yeah, no, my, my watch has this thing where like tells me when the decibels are like dangerous high, and every time that Netflix thing goes on, it comes on. I'm just like this isn't right. I gotta...

TREY: [00:07:41] You need to reach out to Netflix and tell them.

CHELSEY: [00:07:42] I'm injuring myself, Netflix, I love you. And everything that you do. And like, let's just fix this so that we can get our relationship back on track. Okay.

TREY: [00:07:51] Hilarious. I'm sorry, you're dealing with that.

CHELSEY: [00:07:54] Thanks Trey. Do you have a complaint you want to lodge?

TREY: [00:07:56] Yes. Similar vein here I have today. I want to lodge a complaint against passwords. Have you noticed how now all of these websites and interfaces, they have demands at you for what your passwords should include? That is so rude. Don't tell me I need a capital letter and a special character. There's only like seven, what is it... I guess... I mean, I guess you could use like a, uh, one of the end parentheses, but like there's eight special characters humans can choose from. Okay. Well now I'm seeing like maybe you could do brackets or like that weird wiggle thing. Whatever the point is, is like, it's so obnoxious to me that you're going to dictate that I have to add this crap that I'm never going to remember. Also, like everything has a password now and I have a Mac world. So like, I can just do like my fingerprint and like my MacBook Pro will like log me in. So I don't even remember my passwords anymore. And I used to always have the same password.

CHELSEY: [00:09:00] But can't do that.

TREY: [00:09:02] No, I even have like an interface for work that makes you change your password every two months. And so I literally just have like in my notes, well, here we go. Now everyone can break into my life. But in my notes, I have like, I have to write down. Every two months, I had to change a password. How? I can't... ever...remember, it's so obnoxious to me. Don't even get me started when you start to make a password and now my apple computer recommends a strong password. Do you know what I'm talking about?

CHELSEY: [00:09:33] Yeah. Oh, well, I've been doing that lately and I don't know if that's a mistake, but I, I just use the strong password. Cause like, then I'm like, it's going to remember my face. It's going to remember the strong password and then I don't have to like, think about it or like write it down somewhere.

TREY: [00:09:48] What if you're not on your personal device, how will you ever remember that password?

CHELSEY: [00:09:53] I guess I'm screwed.

TREY: [00:09:54] See, I just don't understand. I'm just so sick of passwords. My whole life is consumed with passwords.

CHELSEY: [00:10:00] Yeah. The amount of like mental space that the passwords have to take up, there's gotta be a better way. It's weird. It's like, I don't want the whole fingerprint and like eye retina thing for everything. Cause a part of that feels sort of scifi, but also a part of it feels necessary. Cause I can't remember this many things.

TREY: [00:10:18] I'm 35. My parents are in their seventies and they can't remember any password. And then I am the child that's trying to help them because I understand there's a learning curve, but it's like, I can't help you reset your apple pass code nine more times. Like at some point we're going to get locked out. I can't even remember my passwords. How am I going to be upset at my 70 year old parents for not knowing their... anyway, passwords are just too much, too much!

CHELSEY: [00:10:46] Too much. Totally agree. Great complaint, Trey.

TREY: [00:10:50] Thank you. Do you need to get water?

CHELSEY: [00:10:53] I think I should. I'm going to go get water. BRB

TREY: [00:10:57] Well, I'll take this opportunity while Chelsey is getting water to tell a joke. Knock knock. Who's there? Chelsey's back already. That was really fast. I thought you were going to like going to go to the kitchen.

CHELSEY: [00:11:10] Oh, no, no, no. I like that's the thing is I have like a little mini fridge in my room. I have my like Vitamin Water Zeros here, which I know is not water, but don't come at me. Okay?

TREY: [00:11:21] Is that what you're drinking right now?

CHELSEY: [00:11:23] Maybe. There's no sugar. ...It's just water.

TREY: [00:11:26] All right. Well it's your body.

CHELSEY: [00:11:29] Okay. I'll work on it. Okay.

TREY: [00:11:31] I'm not going to tell you what to do with your body. That's not my place.

CHELSEY: [00:11:34] I'll order us some Review That Review water bottles and I'll get better.

TREY: [00:11:37] Oh, I would love that. All right. So enough about the water enough about us complaining. Why don't we take a little time to investigate some online written reviews? How do you feel about that, Chels?

CHELSEY: [00:11:48] Mmm, I got my magnifying glass ready. I'm I'm I'm ready to go. As you know, we are your trusty Review Queens. So each week we bring in a review from the internet that we feel needs to be inspected.

TREY: [00:12:00] We read you the review. We break it down. We rate the impact of the review on our trusty scale of one to five crowns. It's a very Regal process that Chelsey Donn and Trey Gerrald like to call

VOICEOVER: [00:12:10] Asses That Kvetch

TREY: [00:12:12] and you all know at this point, kvetch means complaint.

CHELSEY: [00:12:14] okay. Who's first, today?

TREY: [00:12:17] Meeeee!

CHELSEY: [00:12:18] Yay. Trey's first. Okay. I can't believe, this is episode 11 already. Wow. Crazy. Okay. Take it away, Review Queen.

TREY: [00:12:25] Thank you.

VOICEOVER: [00:12:28] Review That Review.

TREY: [00:12:32] Okay. Today I have a review from TripAdvisor. Which I'm really into lately. It's just like, there's a plethora there. Anyway.

CHELSEY: [00:12:39] I just think they're very committed on TripAdvisor to their reviews.

TREY: [00:12:43] I think there is something different about someone on TripAdvisor rather than Yelp. I don't know why. Anyway. Okay. So today my one dot review from TripAdvisor is written by a user named AdventuresWfamily.

CHELSEY: [00:13:00] It's like a whole family that's writing this review. Okay. That's interesting.

TREY: [00:13:04] And this is for the Times Square Walt Disney Store.

CHELSEY: [00:13:10] Okay. We've been coming after Times Square a lot. I appreciate that.

TREY: [00:13:14] I actually found this review and then I realized it was for the Times Square, but yeah. Okay. The subject here: Worst Disney Store. I love writing positive reviews. But have to make exception for this particular Disney Store. The employees are poorly trained, the store is chaotic and the customer service is just awful. The first thing our six year daughter wanted to do after reaching our hotel in New York was visit the Disney Store. She loves the Disney Store in Chicago and Orlando. And we had mentioned there was one near our hotel in Times Square. This year alone, our family went on a Disney cruise and three months later took a Disney World Vaca. We love our Disney. We have always had such a positive experience and appreciate the level of customer service we typically experience. That is until visiting the Disney Store at Times Square. Tonight our daughter left the store in tears and rightfully so. She was struck in the face by an adult man at the store.

CHELSEY: [00:14:32] No.

TREY: [00:14:32] I could hear and see the impact as she was standing right next to me and holding my hand, parentheses it, all caps, had to hurt, end parentheses. I don't doubt it was an accident, but I expected the man to see if she was okay or at least apologize. Instead, he just started to walk away. Like nothing happened.

I leaned down and asked my daughter if she was okay, parentheses, watching her struggle so hard, not to cry, end parentheses. And then I stood up and said, "Hey, you need to be careful. You just hit my daughter in the face really hard!" The cast member working upstairs, near where we were standing, stepped in front of me and said, "accidents happen dot, dot, dot move on."

Seriously? My daughter was sobbing. Parenthesis, BTW: this is a child who does not cry during shots, bike falls, you name it. The cast member parentheses, you know, the ones who are supposed to be kind and call the little girls princess, said, "move on." I have to think that if I saw this happen to another child, I would be equally disgusted. This cast member should never have been given a job at a store that caters to children. Her tone and body language was that of a bar bouncer, not a Disney employee. In my opinion, the appropriate thing, and common sense option, would have been to first see if the child was all right, and then maybe offer her an ice pack. I told the cast member I would like to speak to the store manager.

VOICEOVER: [00:16:23] Oh my God. It's the Karen.

TREY: [00:16:25] Needless to say, the cast member never got the store manager for us. They must have incredible turnover at this location. Both times my husband and I asked where a particular product was located, no employee had a clue. To top off the experience, my husband said the cashier decided not to take his coupon because she didn't know how to enter them. This place is the worst.

CHELSEY: [00:16:53] Wow.

TREY: [00:16:55] So, this review introduces, finally here, episode 11. We now have our Karen sound effect.

CHELSEY: [00:17:00] Thank goodness for that.

TREY: [00:17:02] Although I don't know how I feel about Karen. I don't know how, I don't know. Chelsey.

CHELSEY: [00:17:06] I don't know...

TREY: [00:17:07] How are you feeling?

CHELSEY: [00:17:08] I wonder if this is a non-Karen manager situation. I feel pretty like... This is pretty bad. You know, I feel, I feel for AdventuresWfamily. First of all, families that are like very into the whole Disney thing are super into it. So I appreciated that they let us know that this is their jam as a family, they just, they go all, they do the cruises, they, they go to Disney World. They, you know, they are really heading up all the Disney establishments. So they wanted us to know for sure that they're an authority on this subject. No wonder they had a coupon.

TREY: [00:17:44] Yeah. Also I would love to have a Disney coupon, but yeah. But yes, they're also pointing out like they have its strong long history of excellent customer service and truly Disney customer service is insane. David and I went to Disney World. for our honeymoon, neither of us are Disney people. It just was like, we didn't want to play on our weddings to begin with, and we didn't want to plan a honeymoon. So like David's really big Disney fanatic, did the whole thing for us. Um, so we went for four days and as newlyweds, they gave us a big old button and it's like Cinderella's carriage. And every single person who works for Disney, as soon as they saw the pin, we would be walking by, "congratulations." Like it's insane, the customer service. Everyone is so happy and nice. So that's where AdventuresWfamily is coming from.

CHELSEY: [00:18:32] Right. And it was like, not only did we not get top-notch...

TREY: [00:18:37] This is child abuse!

CHELSEY: [00:18:38] ...service here, but this is child abuse. And then, so the child abuse portion, I'm wondering. How exactly this went down. Cause I'm sure it was an accident. Like I don't, I don't think that there was just a man in here that was like, "Lemmy slap this child up the face." I'm sure it was an accident. So I don't really know the like situation. And also I thought it was a little bit strange. I was confused for a second. AdventuresW spent so much time talking about the staff that worked there and then they kept referring to the slap as happening from a man. And so I was confused for a second. I was like, is this a man that works there that slapped the child? Or is this just a man that was shopping?

TREY: [00:19:21] Yeah. I mean, even in the beginning of their review, they say this store is chaotic. I mean it's Times Square.

CHELSEY: [00:19:26] Exactly.

TREY: [00:19:27] But I do believe that it was like a customer. I think it was a random customer.

CHELSEY: [00:19:31] Yeah, I'm sure it was a random customer. it's funny when we have these Times Square reviews, it's like, we always have to kind of add that to the mix, it's utter and complete chaos, and I'm sure it is a revolving door over there because it's not an easy place to work.

TREY: [00:19:45] I mean, who wants to work as a waiter in Times Square? Where much less retail?

CHELSEY: [00:19:49] Yeah. Retail in Times Square just sounds awful.

TREY: [00:19:53] Wait, but if you were working at the Disney Store in Times Square and you were nearby and you saw a child get hit in the face also I do have to point out, there's an inconsistency here. At first, and I understand that like maybe the child started crying later, but AdventuresW begins to clarify that the child was trying not to cry. And then we kept going back to the child who is sobbing.

CHELSEY: [00:20:18] I get that though. Cause I feel like...

TREY: [00:20:21] ...the child had to process the impact.

CHELSEY: [00:20:22] Yeah. The child was processing and then like when the mom gets involved and then like all of a sudden this like random cast members getting involved, I feel like beyond the fact it probably hurt, that's overwhelming for a kid. So...

TREY: [00:20:36] True. So, wait, if you were the, staff person, what would your reaction be?

CHELSEY: [00:20:41] I'm glad you asked. I was thinking about that. It's a strange thing, because when, when I first heard like her response and she was like, you need to be more careful. Right? I can imagine that, let's say, I did that and I didn't realize that I did it for some reason, like, you know, we are reaching for the sweatshirt and I overextended, I dunno, if I didn't realize that it had happened and then like somebody came at me and they were like, you need to be more careful. Like maybe the cast person felt like I need to both Retain this customer that accidentally hit this person, while also maybe like dealing with this situation. But I feel like they didn't deal with the child at all, like, I think it was, if it was me, I probably would have said, hi, I'm so sorry. Like, it seems like we had some sort of a problem here. Like, are you okay? Like, you know, sir, I imagine, you know, you obviously didn't do this on purpose. I know it's crazy in here today. You know, let me, let me hold your things. Let me help you. Like, I think I would just do something to try to appease the situation and make everybody happy. I also know that when you're at Disney world or land, like this is sort of embarrassing. I was like, I don't know, probably like 15. And I went to Disney for spring break with my mom and we went on this alien ride and I was terrified. Like, I don't like any of that stuff where it looks like there's a real alien and it's sticky and it's going to touch me.

TREY: [00:22:06] Oh, I know exactly... where you locked into the seats?

CHELSEY: [00:22:07] YES!

TREY: [00:22:08] And it's in the center in a tube. Oh my God. That was so terrifying.

CHELSEY: [00:22:10] Yeah

TREY: [00:22:11] They got rid of it.

CHELSEY: [00:22:12] Yeah, It was awful. So like I left and I was hysterically crying and somebody was there immediately and they like gave me a pin and they were like, we're so sorry. Like here's a pin stay and watch the parade. And then like two seconds later, it was like, if you have a pin, guess what? You're in the parade. And it was like this whole thing. So it just goes to show, especially like, even if I was, you know, a teenager embarrassingly enough, but you know, if, if there was a kid that was crying in the Disney universe, you would think there's something that they could do. Or there should be a protocol for like kids crying, like give them a, I dunno, a special Mickey sticker, right? There's gotta be something that we could do.

TREY: [00:22:53] Yeah. I wonder if there is like different expectations for the store. Obviously I would assume there are, but it does seem to me that the worker went into like keeping a crisis from happening mode. The parent was like, excuse me, excuse me. And so the worker was like, let me stop this escalation rather than sort of being like... They even mentioned, like you're supposed to call my daughter a princess, which that's sort of problematic, but yeah. But that is how that is this universe. But I even think like if I had been working there, I would have been like, oh no, did you get hit in the face? Like Cinderella's step sisters do to her when she's brushing their hair, like it's okay. Like you try to let you know, like you are working at a Disney Store. Like you would think that the response would have been more compassionate to, towards this little child. I

CHELSEY: [00:23:43] completely agree. I mean, I think there's no doubt in my mind that the staff here mismanaged this situation, I believe AdventuresW I don't think that the cast member handled it appropriately.

TREY: [00:23:56] But like, do you think that this is indicative of Disney Stores themselves, like would this keep you from going to this Disney Store.

CHELSEY: [00:24:03] That's what I was about to say. I mean, I think that that's the hard thing with situations like this. Like I understand, like I'm just gonna to put myself in the position of a family, cause I don't have children, but let's say I was going to go to this Disney Store with my niece and nephews. I'm sure it is insane in there. And it's one of those situations where it's like, watch your child because people are going to be running to get that new, whatever Pocahontas of limited edition something. So yeah, I think that in that regard I might be like, all right. Yeah. Good to keep in mind that this is Times Square and the store is probably mayhem. Outside of that, yeah, I don't know that it would stop me from going.

TREY: [00:24:44] Yeah, to me, I feel like the big part of this review is like about this other customer that we don't know anything about. And I recognize that like the response from the store employee, like was not ideal or appropriate, but I think that that's sort of like in an interesting circumstance that occurred under this roof. I don't know that it's indicative of the store maybe cause it's Times Square and it is chaotic, which they say. Yeah, but also it ends with this point that like two separate employees did not know where things were

CHELSEY: [00:25:16] Yeah, they didn't know where things where, they didn't know where the manager was. I mean, yeah. I think you can expect to have a subpar customer service experience if you go to this location, I'm sure.

TREY: [00:25:26] I mean also to not know how to enter the coupon. That is the time when I would be like, look, I am not a Karen, but you need to get your manager. Like, this is a valid coupon. Like how can you not accept it?

CHELSEY: [00:25:37] And it sounds like at that point they were just like I wanna get out of here.

TREY: [00:25:40] Yeah, my baby is crying.

CHELSEY: [00:25:41] Yeah. That's so sad. I felt so bad for this kid when she was like, just, you know, like my kid doesn't cry when she gets shots or does like, you know, I think she really wanted us to know that she had a strong kid. Cause some kids obviously like you could bump into them a little bit and they'll start hysterically crying. So I think it was important for AdventuresWfamily to let us know that they're a tough brood. Was that the word?

TREY: [00:26:05] Thick skin!

CHELSEY: [00:26:06] Thick skin family! Yeah. I don't know. It is, it is hard when we get these, when we get these reviews that are so specific to this one circumstance to like, you know, zoom out and say, would somebody reading this review that was visiting Times Square, would they say, you know, maybe they would, maybe it is influential because there's a Disney Store and like every mall. Like maybe if I read this to and I was with my family, I would say, guys, let's skip it. We'll go to the Disney Store when we're home..

TREY: [00:26:35] Yeah. I do wonder if it's going to be more expensive cause it's in Times Square.

CHELSEY: [00:26:39] Right.

TREY: [00:26:39] But then you have a kid and you're trying to like entertain them. Like it's like, let's just go to the Disney Store.

CHELSEY: [00:26:44] Yeah. This is, this is a tough, this is a tough one for me to, to crown.

TREY: [00:26:49] There are so many circumstances like this too, where it's one employee is getting a terrible review.

CHELSEY: [00:26:56] Right when you're like, especially with the turnover, like who knows if this employee is even there right now.

TREY: [00:27:02] Right.

CHELSEY: [00:27:02] And I think that that's, what's so hard about, this is like you could go in there someone, when was this written?

TREY: [00:27:07] 2016.

CHELSEY: [00:27:09] Okay.

All right. I think I'm ready to crown. How about you?

TREY: [00:27:12] Yeah, let's do it.

CHELSEY: [00:27:13] All right. Let's do it.

TREY: [00:27:14] So Chelsey and I each have our own set of one to five crown cards and in an effort to be fair and not influenced by one another, we simultaneously reveal our rating cards.

VOICEOVER: [00:27:26] The Queens are Tabulating.

TREY: [00:27:29] Okay. Are you ready?

CHELSEY: [00:27:30] I think I'm ready.

VOICEOVER: [00:27:35] Total Score.

CHELSEY: [00:27:37] Oh, interesting. I know I have four crowns up. Trey has three crowns up. I think I'm just like a softie when it comes to kids now. I just felt bad for this family and their experience. And I want to, I guess I wanted to validate the experience that they had, even though maybe they were coming in a little bit hot with the, like, we are an elite Disney family and like, we are here to say something, but I did feel like I heard them. And I think it is becoming a softie in my tenure as a Review Queen. I've officially become the Paula. I started as like a Simon-Randy. Now I'm the Paula, why did you do three?

TREY: [00:28:13] So you'll never be able to be a judge on American Juniors if they ever bring that back.

CHELSEY: [00:28:17] I guess not. That's okay.

TREY: [00:28:19] You can't criticize children. Um, okay. I said three crowns. It just feels middle to me. Like I, I think that the points raised by AdventuresWfamily are totally valid. It does feel a little specific. I don't know that the impact is that strong. Other than when I go into the store, I'm going to have to be a little vigilant, but I think that's just being in a crowded place anywhere, especially in Times Square. So I think that it would be a distant memory in the back of my mind, but I don't think it would keep me from going to the store. And so for that reason, like, I'm sorry to, baby AdventuresW but I'm sorry, you got hit in the fast. And I hope that you're okay.

CHELSEY: [00:28:57] I also feel like AdventuresWfamily just based on like their name alone, I feel like they must write a lot of reviews and they also said

TREY: [00:29:05] No.

CHELSEY: [00:29:05] They don't?!

TREY: [00:29:07] They've only had four contributions.

CHELSEY: [00:29:09] Oh, interesting. Cause it's cause the first sentence was like, we love writing. I know writing positive reviews.

TREY: [00:29:16] Well, maybe they are on Yelp or something and they didn't do this. Maybe they only opened a TripAdvisor account to write this review.

CHELSEY: [00:29:23] Maybe. I feel like I gave adventuresW too high a score, but I think they...

TREY: [00:29:28] It's okay. You don't have to apologize, Paula. Just drink. Just drink some more water.

CHELSEY: [00:29:33] Alright, I think I'm dehydrated maybe.

TREY: [00:29:36] Well, let's take a break so that Chelsey can get hydrated. And when we come back, we'll get into our Chelsey's review.

CHELSEY: [00:29:43] Woo.

TREY: [00:29:45] Okay. Bye.

CHELSEY: [00:29:45] Bye!

TREY: [00:29:46] Oh, I'm just so thirsty.

VOICEOVER: [00:29:50] Hold your crown. We'll be right back.

TREY: [00:30:14] All right. We're back from that break and just a little heads up. If you are not a part of our Royal Court on Patreon, you just missed out on some quality content, honeys. But anyway, right now it is game time,Chels! It's time to take a quick spin on the Meryl-Go-Round.

VOICEOVER: [00:30:32] I don't feel like an icon. Most of the days I feel like "I can't" that's with an a.

CHELSEY: [00:30:42] Okay. Here's the deal. Trey and I have each picked a rotten scathing, pithy one-star zinger. And with 30 seconds on the clock, we'll take turns, trying to recite the zinger and as many genres as possible.

TREY: [00:30:54] Just like queen Meryl, who does it all!

CHELSEY: [00:30:56] Before the clock runs out. All right. Trey had the first review. So I got the first zinger.

TREY: [00:31:02] What is it, girl? Tell us. Tell us.

CHELSEY: [00:31:04] All right. We're all dying to now. So I feel like all my zingers, a lot of my zingers are... this is the second one that's comes from GNC. Cause I spend a little time on that website. I'm also bad at taking vitamins. So I was looking for like a gummy vitamin version of this thing called resveratrol. It's an age revitalizing fruit chew. I don't know. Somebody told me that it was supposed to be good for my skin, but now I know I just need to drink water. So.

TREY: [00:31:31] You're so worried about your skin.

CHELSEY: [00:31:34] Save that money. Anyway, this review is from Patty P. It is a one-star review for these revitalizing fruit chews on GNC, and it says, taste crappy, not tastes. Taste singular tastes crap.

TREY: [00:31:53] Oh, Patty P that's a great name.

CHELSEY: [00:31:55] Patty P taste crappy.

TREY: [00:31:57] All right. I am ready.

CHELSEY: [00:31:59] What am I strapped into today, Trey?

TREY: [00:32:02] Today. You are on a black beauty horse.

CHELSEY: [00:32:05] Oh my God. Nay!

TREY: [00:32:08] Okay. You ready?

CHELSEY: [00:32:10] Yes, I'm ready.

TREY: [00:32:11] Did you brush the horse's mane?

CHELSEY: [00:32:13] Of course always, you have to make sure otherwise you don't want that mane to get matted.

TREY: [00:32:18] No sudden movements, or it'll get scared.

WWE

Spy crappy superhero

VOICEOVER: [00:32:34] tastes crappy

TREY: [00:32:37] TLC reality show taste, crappy opera, diva

auctioneer, crappy days, breaking news.

CHELSEY: [00:32:56] That was a lot, but that was a short one.

TREY: [00:32:59] Um, okay, so you got six, seven.

CHELSEY: [00:33:02] Wow. seven.

TREY: [00:33:04] Really good.

CHELSEY: [00:33:06] That might be a personal best.

TREY: [00:33:08] No, you got eight the other day.

CHELSEY: [00:33:10] Oh, I did?

TREY: [00:33:11] I don't. But maybe that was one, we didn't include.

CHELSEY: [00:33:14] Maybe, uh, well, whatever, either way. I'm pleased with my, a score of seven. Thank you, Trey. And, um, what is your one star zinger? Where's it from?

TREY: [00:33:24] Okay. So my one star zinger today is from Apple Podcasts. It's for a podcast called Call Me Daddy.

CHELSEY: [00:33:30] Okay.

TREY: [00:33:31] So the subject is wow. One star. Maybe the worst on air talent I've ever heard.

CHELSEY: [00:33:36] Trey, This is a long one. If you really gave yourself quite a challenge.

TREY: [00:33:41] I know, but it is just one sentence.

CHELSEY: [00:33:43] Okay. Are you ready?

TREY: [00:33:47] Yeah.

CHELSEY: [00:33:47] All right. Let's do this.

Maybe the worst song.

True crime doc

burst on air talent. I heard auctioneer .

VOICEOVER: [00:34:05] I heard

TREY: [00:34:06] sports announcer, maybe the worst on air talent,

CHELSEY: [00:34:11] breaking

TREY: [00:34:12] news, maybe the worst on air talent I've ever heard.

VOICEOVER: [00:34:15] Lifetime, maybe.

TREY: [00:34:18] The worst

CHELSEY: [00:34:22] pop star.

VOICEOVER: [00:34:23] That's all.

CHELSEY: [00:34:24] Wow. Trey. That was great. 4, 5, 6.

TREY: [00:34:29] That means Chelsey's our winner.

CHELSEY: [00:34:31] Yes. Thank you.

TREY: [00:34:34] Oh, wait. I know why I didn't win because I never found out what I was riding.

CHELSEY: [00:34:38] Oh, well, I was riding, I just assumed it was like I'm riding the black horse. You're riding the white horse, sort of like a black Swan white Swan moment.

TREY: [00:34:48] Oh, that means you're evil.

CHELSEY: [00:34:49] Yes. That's why I won. Cause I used sorcery

VOICEOVER: [00:34:55] Review That Review.

TREY: [00:34:58] So, we're back from the game break. And now it's Chelsey's turn. Girlfriend, where's your review from this week.

CHELSEY: [00:35:04] Okay. So my review is from Amazon and it is written by Anita J. And it is a one-star review of Coastal Pet Safari. It's a dog dematting comb, did look this up for personal use in case that's interesting to anybody. All right, here we go. This is Anita J. The subject is we normally don't write reviews and I would love to give this one, but due dot dot dot. We normally don't write reviews and I would love to give this a good one, but due to being left-handed, we cannot. The instruction clearly states that if you're left-handed to remove the bolt on the top and flip the blades easy, right? Wrong. What they lack to mention is that you need the assistance of the United States military to remove the bolt. We used every tool we have in our arsenal to attempt to remove the it. And it is impossible to remove. We even stripped the bolt due to the amount of force used to try and remove it. If you're left-handed and are even thinking about purchasing this, please, purchase a gym membership first. Or get the assistance of two bodybuilders to assist you one to hold the handle. And one to turn the bolt. Shame. We soooo wanted to try this. If the makers of this tool is reading this, please give the option for left-handed folks as attempting to flip the blades is absolutely dangerous. I almost slipped a few times. Safari Pet Products, please tell us what we are doing wrong to flip it.

TREY: [00:37:05] Anita J!

CHELSEY: [00:37:06] Anita J came to play.

TREY: [00:37:09] I wonder if Anita J got to like, apply for that college scholarship for left-handed students.

CHELSEY: [00:37:15] Is that a thing?

TREY: [00:37:16] Yes! I was so jealous.

CHELSEY: [00:37:17] Oh my God. I didn't know that.

TREY: [00:37:19] I guess that's my right-hand privilege.

CHELSEY: [00:37:21] It's true. I was thinking about that a lot. Like truth be told I bought this product immediately afterwards. Cause I was like I'm right-handed sorry.

TREY: [00:37:32] Did you know, My mom was ambidextrous and her teacher would hit her hand with a ruler whenever she would start to use her left. That's so crazy.

CHELSEY: [00:37:40] Yeah, my grandmother had the same thing. She was ambidextrous, but they like made her write with her right hand.

I wish

TREY: [00:37:45] I was ambidextrous, but...

CHELSEY: [00:37:46] I know, That sounds nice.

TREY: [00:37:48] Okay. Anita J you know, I'm just curious, like, can it really be this difficult?

CHELSEY: [00:37:53] I don't know. Maybe, I mean,

TREY: [00:37:56] Anita J says you need two bodybuilders, one to hold the damn thing. And the other one to turn the bolt.

CHELSEY: [00:38:01] I mean, to me that just means that it's not, it seems like Anita J bought this product and somewhere within the questions, someone was like, I'm left-handed what do I do? And someone must responded or maybe they wrote in the thing. I didn't see it. That this is what you do. And it must just not be possible.

TREY: [00:38:18] Wait, I'm confused. Is it a glove?

CHELSEY: [00:38:21] No, it's a comb. It's a, I didn't know that there was left and right handed comb... again right-handed privilege. Sorry. But like, I didn't know that there was a left comb and a right comb.

TREY: [00:38:29] I didn't either.

CHELSEY: [00:38:31] I guess there is, I guess, I don't know.

TREY: [00:38:33] Okay. This whole time you were reading, I was picturing one of those gloves that you see, like on infomercials, where it's like a glove. And I was like, ah, you just have to like flip to the other side of the glove. Okay so it's a Comb and, oh, I guess that if you're coming at it from your left hand, the stroking is different, which is why you'd have to switch the direction of the blades. Cause if you're brushing with your right,

CHELSEY: [00:38:57] I mean, I'm glad you understand that. I think I'm still confused. I'm dropping a screenshot into the, into the chat Trey so that you can see, and then

TREY: [00:39:06] we'll have to put it on our Instagram.

CHELSEY: [00:39:07] Yeah, It's a comb.

TREY: [00:39:11] Oh, but you see how, but that is what I was thoughtt. Yeah. But you see how it's like the blades are on the top.

CHELSEY: [00:39:18] Yeah.

TREY: [00:39:18] It's like a, a flag. So only one side of the flag has the blades like positioned to actually demat.

CHELSEY: [00:39:26] Right.

TREY: [00:39:27] So I see if.

CHELSEY: [00:39:28] If you were left-handed, but it makes sense then flag would be in the wrong direction. Okay.

TREY: [00:39:34] Right.

CHELSEY: [00:39:35] Okay. And I do see that in the picture. It does kind of make it look like you could just like unscrew the top. Like there's like a little screw on the top.

TREY: [00:39:43] Yeah. Like the little bolt at the end.

CHELSEY: [00:39:44] Yeah the little bolt at the end.

TREY: [00:39:46] Wait, I'm just seeing that this product is $12.49. Can't you just find a left-hand friendly version instead of like, trying to make this one work? I guess that as like, again, privilege.

CHELSEY: [00:39:56] I think it's our right-hand privilege. I wonder how if you're listening listeners and you're, left-handed, I'm genuinely curious how many times you find a product that is not suited towards you.

TREY: [00:40:08] Me too. Please, please call us.

CHELSEY: [00:40:10] Yeah. Are there a plethora of left-handed products out there? Like, I don't think if I were a manufacturer and I were manufacturing this comb, maybe I wouldn't think about that. I don't know.

TREY: [00:40:21] It wouldn't have even occurred to me.

CHELSEY: [00:40:23] Yeah. Which again, yeah, this is interesting because I think that if I were left-handed and I read this review, this would be like very useful to me and I'll be like, oh, I'm not going to buy it because I would be used to this.

TREY: [00:40:36] Well, Even the headline is. I wish I could give this a review, but I can't because of who I am. And that is horrifying. I mean, that's horrifying.

CHELSEY: [00:40:44] Yeah. That's sad. It's true. It's sad we to think about it that way. Like, I'm sorry, Anita J.

TREY: [00:40:49] I think this is incredibly valuable if I was left-handed. I mean, even for you as a right-hander you're like great. It doesn't affect me.

CHELSEY: [00:40:56] Right.

TREY: [00:40:57] It is seeping with value.

CHELSEY: [00:40:59] Yeah. I mean, I'm just going to looking right now. 93 people found this helpful. So that says something.

TREY: [00:41:04] And there's no like response.

CHELSEY: [00:41:06] There's no response. Um,

TREY: [00:41:09] it's pretty, yeah, that's a pretty damning review. If I was Safari, I would be very upset about this. I would send them a life time supply.

CHELSEY: [00:41:18] Yeah.

TREY: [00:41:18] Of bodybuilders to help them switch the blade.

CHELSEY: [00:41:21] Right. Maybe that's what Anita J was going for. And if she was, I respect it.

TREY: [00:41:26] Amen. No shame in your game. So I noticed a couple of times there were some spelling mistakes.

CHELSEY: [00:41:32] Yeah, there were definitely some,like, copy editing issues, you know, misused words, things like that. That definitely,

TREY: [00:41:41] just words left out.

CHELSEY: [00:41:42] Yeah. Like words left out. Like the wrong word and whatever.

TREY: [00:41:46] I definitely believe, I believe Anita in this. Like, I don't think that they're being shady or that they're lying or that they're a competitor. Like, I actually believe that this is a real experience.

CHELSEY: [00:41:55] Yeah. I believe Anita too. I also believe that Anita, was serving us hyperbolic comedy here and for that. I wanna just give her a nod. You know, it was funny. I mean, I like laughed at the bodybuilder stuff and like the, get a gym membership, you know.

TREY: [00:42:11] Yeah, I, I didn't like that. I didn't like, I didn't like the first joke about needing to be in the U S military or whatever.

CHELSEY: [00:42:18] No, she said you need the assistance of the United States Military.

TREY: [00:42:22] Yeah, I think that could have been funnier, but I liked the bodybuilder visuals.

CHELSEY: [00:42:27] Maybe she should have workshopped the jokes.

TREY: [00:42:29] But I appreciate that while being discriminated against

CHELSEY: [00:42:32] she's still got a sense of humor,

TREY: [00:42:34] Anita is able to like try to spin some jokes. So,

CHELSEY: [00:42:37] yeah.

TREY: [00:42:38] Okay. That's good.

CHELSEY: [00:42:38] That's what I was getting at.

TREY: [00:42:40] I mean, I wouldn't hang this on my fridge, if this was my grandchild, because it makes me feel like they're being discriminated against and that makes me feel sad, but it's good that they're standing up for themselves.

CHELSEY: [00:42:49] I think so. I think Anita J is really standing up for the left-handed dog groomers of America.

TREY: [00:42:55] If you're a left-handed dog groomer and you're listening to this, will you please leave us a voicemail? I'm so curious. Honestly, like Chelsey's request earlier, if you are left-handed or if we know someone who is please have them leave us a voicemail about like commonplace left-hand discrimination, because it never occurs to me.

CHELSEY: [00:43:14] Yeah. And I feel like I'm going to have to crown it as if I were left-handed, you know?

TREY: [00:43:19] Ooh, Interesting. Okay. Well, let's crown it ause I want to have that conversation.

CHELSEY: [00:43:23] Okay.

TREY: [00:43:23] Ready?

CHELSEY: [00:43:24] Yes

VOICEOVER: [00:43:26] The Queens are Tabulating.

TREY: [00:43:29] All right. Okay. I think I'm ready.

CHELSEY: [00:43:32] I think I'm ready too.

VOICEOVER: [00:43:37] Total Score.

CHELSEY: [00:43:38] Okay. Queens are unanimous. We're both giving four crowns to Anita. Trey. Tell us why you gave Anita J four crowns.

TREY: [00:43:47] It's really challenging for me because I didn't want to be coming from a place of privilege on this conversation, but I am, so I'm just going to honor the fact that I have right-hand privilege and I gave it four crowns because I think it's a pretty excellent point. And I just didn't give it five because it kind of upsets me. Like, I actually feel badly for Anita J, that they were discriminated against.

CHELSEY: [00:44:15] Yeah. And that's like, maybe like impacting, like maybe you're not even remembering why you went to Amazon now. Cause you're just kind of like, upset.

TREY: [00:44:22] I just think that like there needs to be a higher level of entertainment in order to be five crowns in my assessment. So to me, I just gave four because. I think this is a valid problem, but I don't know the percentage of America, of people in the world that are left-handed. So I do think that it doesn't matter to a certain population. So four crowns, what about you?

CHELSEY: [00:44:43] I gave the four crowns, I took off a crown for the spelling and grammar and the copy editing. I also took off. Part of that, you know, lack of the, the five crowns was yeah, the entertainment. I wasn't like bowled over, like I was for that giant ball review that had me,

TREY: [00:45:00] That was bowling people over.

CHELSEY: [00:45:01] Yeah. in Stitches. So I wasn't in stitches, but I did appreciate the effort and the ability for Anita to, in a way through her humor make light of something that seems like pretty traumatic for her. And I want to say maybe even triggering. So because of that and because if I were left-handed and I read this, I would be like, oh, I'm really glad. I know I should search elsewhere. I think it was a really, you know, uh, effective review from Anita with lots of respect for you. And all of the times you struggle because you're a left-handed person I'm going to award you four crowns.

TREY: [00:45:39] Excellent.

CHELSEY: [00:45:39] Yeah. All right. My Queens we've reached the most Regal portion of our show. Who are you inducting, Trey, for

TREY: [00:45:49] My Royal Highness.

Okay. So today I am going to induct a thing once again, but I found the inventor. So today, My Royal Highness is something that I think is very frequently overlooked, not acknowledged and not thanked and valued. Today. I'm inducting ice.

CHELSEY: [00:46:14] Ice.

TREY: [00:46:15] I C E, ice.

CHELSEY: [00:46:17] Okay.

TREY: [00:46:17] So I was raised in the south as a southerner and there is nothing better than iced sweet tea. Now I am married to a Yankee who was raised in New Jersey, and I have learned many things in this pairing, but one of the first things I noticed is that there is a different relationship to ice and to iced drinks.

CHELSEY: [00:46:42] Yes.

TREY: [00:46:42] I also am obsessed with coffee I love an iced coffee, so I am inducting ice as My Royal Highness, because I feel like. No one stops to like value this natural thing that lowers the temperature, especially in the summer. Like this is so fabulous and a man named Frederick Tudor in the early 18 hundreds is the person that was named The Ice King.

CHELSEY: [00:47:11] I love how much research you did for this. I just want to give you a nod.

TREY: [00:47:15] Because I know it's a very silly thing to induct, but I actually like, I have to have ice. I can't consume any, any beverage, if it doesn't have ice in it. I mean, I guess like maybe a glass of wine, but...

CHELSEY: [00:47:26] I like things cold.

TREY: [00:47:27] Like imagine having champagne that was hot.

CHELSEY: [00:47:30] Terrible.