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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 16: "IKEA - 1 & 5 Star Reviews"

Updated: Sep 22, 2021

Transcript of Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald Episode 16 "IKEA - 1 & 5 Star Reviews" for the differently abled and those who prefer to read.

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn and Trey Gerrald

Episode 16

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] CHELSEY: Hi.

[00:00:32] TREY: Oh. Hello!

[00:00:33] CHELSEY: Oh my God. Who are we today?

[00:00:36] TREY: No it's just me. It's Trey or RQ T I just felt like making a funny voice. Hi everyone. Welcome to Review That Review! The podcast dedicated to reviewing...

[00:00:46] CHELSEY: Reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic, masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious, scathinging and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:58] TREY: That's Chelsey Donn.

[00:00:59] CHELSEY: And that's Trey Gerrald.

[00:01:01] TREY: And together we are

[00:01:03] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens.

[00:01:07] TREY: Hey Hey Chels, let me just...

[00:01:08] CHELSEY: Hi!

[00:01:09] TREY: ...get a quick drink from my...

[00:01:11] CHELSEY: Beautiful!

[00:01:12] TREY: I got in the mail today a present, and it was from Chelsey! It's some merch for this very podcast.

[00:01:18] CHELSEY: And it's really, I mean, contrary to the lack of what you can see...

[00:01:21] TREY:'s so sad that you can't see...

[00:01:23] CHELSEY: Review That Review water bottles sponsored by my need to drink water.

[00:01:28] TREY: Um, how's your week been my friends?

[00:01:31] CHELSEY: My week has been good. My week is good. Um, we had a full noon, so things...

[00:01:37] TREY: Okay. Diana G... very Hexie! Old World Witchery of you!

[00:01:41] CHELSEY: I am no Diana G. I'm all white light and good karma and good blessings for all. But with that in mind, I decided to take advantage of this energy that we were having and I went to a sound healing on Saturday.

[00:01:54] TREY: Oh right! Tell us about it.

[00:01:55] CHELSEY: It was amazing! @RoxySoundHealing. I found her over COVID and started going to her full moons and new moons pretty regularly, via Instagram, which sounds weird, but it's actually amazing. If you have headphones, you can get a real, incredible experience. So I just fell in love with her and what she does. And she was having an in-person, COVID-safe, full moon sound healing, and I thought I got to go to this. And so I went, which was great, but it was the first time I left Goldie alone.

[00:02:28] TREY: Uh oh. What happened?

[00:02:29] CHELSEY: She was fine. Thank God. I left her in the bathroom. I gave her a whole setup. She seemed kind of upset. And when I first got home, she wasn't like that excited to see me, which I was, you know, that's like part of the benefit of leaving a dog is the excitement of, them greeting you at the door. So, we got to train her, but I'm glad I did it. it was great. How was your week, Trey?

[00:02:51] TREY: Oh, you know, my week was good. I, I did not have a sound healing experience, but I did take my nephew. He, he left this morning to go back to military school, but I took him to get, uh, like a controller for his X-Box and on the way in a person called me a Faggot. So, that was really fun.

[00:03:10] CHELSEY: Stop!

[00:03:11] TREY: And... But it led...

[00:03:12] CHELSEY: Wait, wait, wait on the way in to the military school.

[00:03:16] TREY: No, no, no,

[00:03:17] CHELSEY: On the way to where?

[00:03:20] TREY: No, separate story.

[00:03:20] CHELSEY: Oh. No. The Game Stop to get the extra controller.

[00:03:22] TREY: Correct. Yeah. but it led to a great conversation with my nephew afterwards. And, um, yeah, so that was fun. I loved that.

[00:03:30] CHELSEY: In Jersey?!

[00:03:31] TREY: In Jersey of all places. You know, it's like there's intolerant people everywhere. But otherwise it's been great. We had a wonderful summer with our nephew, Denver and, um, David shot a whole wedding all yesterday and then came home and drove Denver to the airport at four in the morning and stayed with him to walk him onto the plane.

[00:03:51] CHELSEY: Such a mensch.

[00:03:52] TREY: I know. So as I was coming in here to start recording, he just had his head back on the couch and he was like, I'm tired. And I was like, "Why?"

[00:03:59] CHELSEY: Yeah. I wonder why I wonder why, why could you possibly be tired? You superhuman you!

[00:04:05] TREY: That's right. Anyway.

[00:04:06] CHELSEY: I love your husband.

[00:04:08] TREY: As do I.

[00:04:09] CHELSEY: Great guy. Amazing.

[00:04:10] TREY: Well, um, how about we jump into some, horrible kvetchy things. Chelsey, I don't know about you, but, um, is there anything you would like to

[00:04:19] VOICEOVER: Lodge a Complaint!

[00:04:20] TREY: About?

[00:04:21] CHELSEY: I mean, I think you do know me and you know that my answer's going to be asked because this, this is the highlight of the week. Being able to get something off my chest. And since we're here, let's talk about it. Spam calls. What's going on with the spam calls, they're just happening more and more lately. I don't appreciate many of the tactics, like one: creating a phone number that's similar to my own. First of all, where's the logic in that? Like, can you, like, if I see a phone number calling that similar to my own, do you think I'm going to be like, I'm calling myself? Like what is the logic in the sending me a spam call from a number that is like two digits off from my number?

[00:05:01] TREY: Well, my dad and I are one number off.

[00:05:04] CHELSEY: Oh, really? Okay. Well maybe that's, they're hoping that I'm going to think it's like a family member, whatever. Gross.

[00:05:10] TREY: Wait, do you have a, do you have a Philly area code or in LA?

[00:05:13] CHELSEY: I have south Jersey. Cherry Hill.

[00:05:15] TREY: So you really know. Right. Cause I also have, I have a South Carolina, so I know...

[00:05:20] CHELSEY: Yeah, I'm well aware every person with an 856 area code who is calling me, I pretty much know who you are so.

[00:05:27] TREY: Yeah. Anyone that calls me from 803. I know is spam, no one with that-- anyone that has that area code is programmed

[00:05:35] CHELSEY: saved in my phone.

[00:05:35] TREY: Exactly.

[00:05:36] CHELSEY: So if you have a rogue 856, then I don't know you. And then the other thing that is just egregious you know, when you got a spam call and then they leave you a message and they make it seem sometimes it's robotic, but sometimes it's a person and they're literally like, "hi, this is Amy from you owe us a lot of and, uh, feel for you. You're going to want to give us a call because if you don't, by the end of the day, then things are really not going to be good for you." I mean like why, like, why Amy? Like, why are you doing that? It's like if meter maid was a bad job, being a spam caller that fakes messenges has just made the meter maids, like My Royal Highness. Like I don't..

[00:06:26] TREY: That is an interesting profession. Yeah. I wonder who..

[00:06:28] CHELSEY: Somebody is doing it. Right? Somebody has to be doing it. Um, anyway, spam calls like enough and I blocked them too. Still happens everyday. If anyone knows, like what I can do to get off of these spam rotations, please let me know.

[00:06:44] TREY: Well, that is the thing. There used to be like a federally, whatever list, but it expired.

[00:06:51] CHELSEY: Oh, lovely. Oh, is that why they've been picking up?