TRANSCRIPT of Episode 12: "Clowns: 1 & 5 Star Reviews"

Updated: Sep 17, 2021

Transcript of Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald

Episode 12"Clowns: 1 & 5 Star Reviews"

for the differently abled and those who prefer to read.

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn and Trey Gerrald

Episode 12

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:00] TREY: Hi.

[00:00:31] CHELSEY: Hello. I love pretending like I'm Natalie at the end of the riff and I can do that. So fun.

[00:00:36] TREY: With your little wagging finger.

[00:00:38] CHELSEY: Yes. So good.

[00:00:41] TREY: Hi everyone. Welcome to Review That Review the podcast dedicated to reviewing...

[00:00:46] CHELSEY: reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious, scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:58] TREY: That's Chelsey Donn,

[00:00:59] CHELSEY: and that's Trey Gerrald,

[00:01:01] TREY: and together we're...

[00:01:03] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens.

[00:01:08] TREY: We are so excited that you were all joining us today for yet another episode.

[00:01:12] CHELSEY: That's right. Thank you guys so much. We can't do what we do. We can't have a podcast without listeners like you, so thank you.

[00:01:19] TREY: That's true. It'd be really sad otherwise. Very beautifully said, my Queen.

[00:01:24] CHELSEY: Oh, thank you!

[00:01:26] TREY: Oh!

[00:01:26] CHELSEY: Oh my goodness. The time has finally come!

[00:01:31] TREY: Is today the day Chelsey?

[00:01:33] CHELSEY: It tis! Trey and I are so thrilled to announce two very special winners today.

[00:01:40] TREY: That is right. So today we get to announce who the winner is of our rate and review raffle.

[00:01:50] CHELSEY: Oh my God. But guess what? We entered all the names for our listeners who left us reviews. And instead of selecting just one,

[00:01:59] TREY: Yall, we selected two because you got two review queen hosts. So you gotta get two review queen winners.

[00:02:06] CHELSEY: That's right. We both got our golden tickets and we both assign those. Let's get that drum roll, please. The first winner is... J D Fit! Woo! So excited for you.

[00:02:22] TREY: And the second winner is... terigamble.

[00:02:31] CHELSEY: Woo! Oh my God. Congratulations Queens. You are our winners!

[00:02:37] TREY: You will both be receiving a gorgeous enamel pin.

[00:02:40] CHELSEY: Stunning.

[00:02:41] TREY: Pen, P I N.

[00:02:43] CHELSEY: Yes, Chanel would be proud.

[00:02:45] TREY: Chanel! And then they'll also be receiving this ballpoint pen.

[00:02:49] CHELSEY: Lovely.

[00:02:49] TREY: And it also is coated in some like antibacterial thing!

[00:02:53] CHELSEY: UGH! Bonus!!

[00:02:55] TREY: Bonus! And then we're also going to throw in a coffee mug. As a surprise.

[00:02:59] CHELSEY: Oh My God! Look at that we are full of surprises. Maybe even like a little personal note from the Queens. Possible.

[00:03:07] TREY: Yeah. Some, um, nudies, some Nudie Judy's

[00:03:10] CHELSEY: I'm... Trey. We'll be sending you nudes. I will send you some chicken noodle soup.

[00:03:15] TREY: I didn't say it would be our nudes.

[00:03:18] CHELSEY: Oh, good point. Good point. Okay.

[00:03:20] TREY: Wow. Okay. But in all seriousness, thank you, everyone who participated, We really do appreciate everyone jumping in, helping us launch. We appreciate you.

[00:03:28] CHELSEY: Yes. Thank you guys so much for those amazing five-star reviews. Keep them coming. We have something else in the wings. Don't you worry!

[00:03:36] TREY: Don't cha worry. So Chels-Chels.

[00:03:38] CHELSEY: Yes.

[00:03:39] TREY: How's your week been my queen?

[00:03:42] CHELSEY: It's been good. I'm still in, you know, full puppy mode over here. So that keeps me busy most of the time, but I just wanted to let our listeners know in case they were worried about my hydration.

[00:03:54] TREY: Yes, I was! I've been worried.

[00:03:55] CHELSEY: I know. I know we were all kind of worried about that. So I have a new plan, it's just the first step. It's not like gonna take me to the finish line, but if anyone ever like offers me water, I have to say yes.

[00:04:10] TREY: Oh, I love that.

[00:04:11] CHELSEY: Right. Isn't that a good plan? So it's like, would you like some water? Yes. The answer has to be yes.

[00:04:18] TREY: I really love that. How did you find, like, come up with that idea?

[00:04:21] CHELSEY: Somebody asked me for a water and I was like, this might be the universe disguised as this individual. And for that request, I shall say, "Thank you. Yes. I would love a glass of water."

[00:04:34] TREY: Wait, I literally thought you were going to be like, well, I read this book about powerful manipulation, but you literally like, well, I came up with that cause someone did it.

[00:04:42] CHELSEY: Somebody asked me. And in that very moment, I was just like here and now for as long as I can remember to do so I'm going to say yes. cause they're just trying to help me out. Or maybe they're like secretly like, oh, she looks really dehydrated and I should take the hint.

[00:04:59] TREY: I love that.

[00:05:00] CHELSEY: So that was the lesson of the week for me. What did you learn any lessons this week, Trey?

[00:05:04] TREY: That's a really great phrasing. I learned a lot of lessons this week. My sister gave birth to her second child.

[00:05:14] CHELSEY: So cute. I saw a picture.

[00:05:15] TREY: Miles was born. And so I flew down to Charlotte, North Carolina, so I could be with my family and help with... actually the day that we are recording this as the day before her other child's second birthday.

[00:05:30] CHELSEY: Oh!

[00:05:31] TREY: Yeah. So

[00:05:32] CHELSEY: I'm so glad that that worked out.

[00:05:34] TREY: Me too.

[00:05:35] CHELSEY: They have their own birthdays.

[00:05:36] TREY: I know!

[00:05:37] CHELSEY: The last thing your sis... and your sister's birthday is also around this time.

[00:05:41] TREY: My Mom's. Yes. Good job.

[00:05:42] CHELSEY: Oh, your mom.

[00:05:43] TREY: We talked about this in an early episode. Yes.

[00:05:45] CHELSEY: Yeah. I remember. See, I'm listening.

[00:05:47] TREY: I appreciate that. I really learned a lot about how amazing the human body is truly. It is. Childbirth is remarkable and amazing and, you know, just unconditional love and joy from children. Really is spectacular. And I'll tell ya, temper tantrums are also spectacular. I didn't have that many. Elliot's a wonderful child, actually. Some anyway, so okay.

[00:06:08] CHELSEY: But, when they do happen, you're kind of like, I get it. You're lodging a complaint. I hear you.

[00:06:12] TREY: Speaking of, you want to, um,

[00:06:14] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint!

[00:06:15] TREY: Chels Chels?

[00:06:17] CHELSEY: Yeah. I always have to have my temper tantrum at the beginning of every one of our shows. And I'm going to have a temper tantrum right now. I know I, I always offer up invention ideas. I hope that all of a sudden, we get a plethora of inventors listening in, and maybe this is a tall order. Like maybe this is like Magic Eraser level realness right here. But like, can somebody make furniture stub-proof? Like, is that just a thing we could do?

[00:06:43] TREY: Oh my God.

[00:06:44] CHELSEY: I, the amount of times I stubbed my toe, like when I, when I got Goldie my puppy, I had to move around some furniture and I'd been living here for a long time. And so my body is just very used to certain furniture being in certain places that it no longer is. So the amount of times that I stub my toe on an average week is just, it's taking up so much of my time and it hurts. Y'all, it's painful. And I just want somebody to help me out and we can baby proof things. You know, we've made so much progress in so many areas. Can we stub proof stuff?

[00:07:21] TREY: You know, that David broke his toe.

[00:07:24] CHELSEY: Stubbing?

[00:07:25] TREY: Stubbing his toe. the weekend of the lockdown of the pandemic. And he was, it wasn't furniture though. It was like the laundry door was sort of a jar...

[00:07:35] CHELSEY: Oh, that's a stub!

[00:07:35] TREY: And he stubbed the toe and it broke.

[00:07:37] CHELSEY: Oh my goodness. See, it's terrible. I mean, I think we all experience this. nobody is doing a walk for the stubbed toe victims. You know what I mean? Like,

[00:07:48] TREY: There's no Federation for them.

[00:07:49] CHELSEY: There's nothing.

[00:07:50] TREY: But I'm glad you're giving a voice to that. Stubbing your toe is similar to like a paper cut. It's like so stupid and little, but so excrusiating.

[00:07:57] CHELSEY: Yeah. And even though it doesn't last, like God-willing like all that long, unless you break a toe, like you're like David, but it's just that moment of like, ah, it just hurts so bad.

[00:08:09] TREY: How would you design furniture to be unstubbable?

[00:08:12] CHELSEY: Thought about this a lot. Cuz I thought, Trey might ask me for some suggestions, for the people that are listening. I feel like it'd be nice if everything could be covered in like a down pillow. You know what I mean? Like, without it looking like really heinous.

[00:08:28] TREY: My first visual is just like, uh, like fluff marshmallows on every corner.

[00:08:33] CHELSEY: Yeah, exactly. Like if every corner of furniture could just have a fluff marshmallow on it, I would buy, I would put it on everything. So just the thought for those inventors out there, I'm lodging a complaint against the furniture companies who have not stub proofed their furniture, get on it.

[00:08:51] TREY: That's good. I hear you. I hear you. And that is. I hear you.

[00:08:57] CHELSEY: Thank you. I feel heard. I do. All right, Trey tell us you lodgin?

[00:09:02] TREY: All right. So I, I feel like the air travel comes up often when we're lodging a complaint, but because I was just flying another complaint, I want a lodge is when the plane lands and it gets to the gate and they do that 'Ding'. And then everyone like rushes down, they unclick. Yes. They're unclicking and everyone jumps up. My complaint is when people are in rows behind you, but they're pushing to get out before you like, stand up out of your seat. And it's like, you're like behind my row. It's the same thing with people crowding around the luggage carousel, which is a very American thing.

[00:09:43] CHELSEY: Oh, really? Is that true? Is it like, does this not happen in other countries?

[00:09:46] TREY: Yeah. It's not, like Europeans don't have that societal...

[00:09:51] CHELSEY: ...aggression?

[00:09:52] TREY: I guess, um, right. They're all eating eclares, but, and then it's also the same thing about like, when you're getting off of a subway and like the doors open and people like you can't get on this subway car until I exit the car!

[00:10:06] CHELSEY: There's an order of events here and it involves me leaving and then you entering,

[00:10:11] TREY: But I, um, the older I get the less polite I'm becoming, like, I'm just sort of like less concerned. So these two ladies, like they were behind me and, you know, I was like, get coming out and they just kept walking. And so I was like, "excuse me, can I please get out?"

[00:10:27] CHELSEY: Oh, geez.

[00:10:28] TREY: And I said it before I realized I had said it.

[00:10:31] CHELSEY: Right. It came out aggressive. And then you're like, oof, I have to match that.

[00:10:34] TREY: But. Go screw yourself. Like, what are you doing? Like, and also it makes me mad because I walk very fast. I'm always in a rush. Like it's like a thing from, I think being bullied for being gay in middle school. Like I'm always, I'm head down, I'm walking really fast. So like, I know I'm going to pass you when we get out of the airplane.

[00:10:56] CHELSEY: Right.

[00:10:56] TREY: So like, don't try to pass me. Anyway.

[00:10:59] CHELSEY: Right? Like you're not a slow mover. Like sometimes you find a slow mover every once in a while on a plane. And they'll say, go ahead, because they know they're going to take a minute. That's a dangerous move in my opinion. Because like, when does the go ahead stop? Unless you really don't care. If you're the last one off the plane, then by all means.

[00:11:15] TREY: Okay. But that also really stresses me out. You know? Like I know that like, uh, people that need special assistance, they have to wait until everyone's off the plane.

[00:11:24] CHELSEY: Sure.

[00:11:25] TREY: But sometimes I'll notice people that don't seem like they seem like they're, I don't know why they're waiting. And that stresses me out. Like the opposite end of the spectrum. Like I got to get off this plane, but like, I'm going to let you go before me.

[00:11:38] CHELSEY: Yeah, I was gonna say, Cause then are you like, oh, all of a sudden I'm at row seven and this person is here. Do I stop at row seven to let them go? Or do I keep going? Cause you don't want to be a hypocrite.

[00:11:47] TREY: So like, I hate that I'm even going to say this, but I have flown first class before in my life.

[00:11:53] CHELSEY: Sure.

[00:11:54] TREY: And that's the worst when you are like row three. And like the people from the main cabin are like rushing into like beat you off the plane. I hate that I even said that. Um, anyway, that's my complaint. It's just once again, just please, like everyone be considerate. Like what does it cost you to let the person stand up? Pull their bag out of the thing. I often will just travel with a book bag.that's under the seat in front of me. So I don't even have stuff above often.

[00:12:26] CHELSEY: So you can just get out.

[00:12:27] TREY: So it's like, what does it cost you to wait six seconds?

[00:12:30] CHELSEY: I get it. You're like, you're like, I'm not in the hall in the like thingy, like grabbing stuff and organizing my purse.

[00:12:36] TREY: I'm not going to take a long time, honey bunches.

[00:12:38] CHELSEY: Right.

[00:12:38] TREY: Okay, so you better just shut up. You better stand there and you better let me get out. Okay. Cause if you don't, I'm going to say, excuse me, can I please get out? And then I'm going to be like, oh, Ooh, Ooh, Ooh, I'm turning into that Mama Chihuahua thing.

[00:12:52] CHELSEY: Yeah. It's okay. Everyone has that moment. I totally get it. I also think that the airport brings out the worst in people. Like whatever is your thing that makes you annoying your worst at the airport.

[00:13:06] TREY: Yeah. Cause it happens before like getting on the plane and they're going in zones and it's like, someone is in zone eight and it's like, they haven't even started zone two yet.

[00:13:14] CHELSEY: And they're standing in front of you and you're like, excuse me ma'am can you please get out of the way I, they just called my zone. They'll call yours in a half hour.

[00:13:25] TREY: Yes. So that's my verbal complaint. Thank you for hearing me out. I feel, I feel lighter. And so now I want to take on some heavy hitting written complaints. How about you, Chels?

[00:13:36] CHELSEY: I think it is time for us to take some heavy hits. So as you guys know, Trey and I are your trustee Review Queens, we bring you reviews from the internet,

[00:13:46] TREY: we dissect the nitty gritty.

[00:13:48] CHELSEY: And then we rate them on a scale from one to five crowns. It's a very Regal process that we call

[00:13:56] VOICEOVER: Assess That Kvetch!

[00:13:57] TREY: And guess what listeners, you know, because we have titles, but today we are bringing you another versus episode.

[00:14:06] CHELSEY: That's right! It's another special edition episode! Whoop Whoop!

[00:14:13] TREY: Today. We're going to cover a one-star and a five-star review on the same topic in an effort to sleuth out the real truth, because sometimes the truth lies hidden deep somewhere. In the middle

[00:14:28] CHELSEY: That's right. For this versus episode, I selected the five-star and Trey selected the one-star. So to determine who reads first, we got to flip that quarter.

[00:14:39] TREY: So I called it last time. So you call it. this time.

[00:14:41] CHELSEY: Okay. I'll call it. Okay.

[00:14:43] TREY: Okay you ready? And go.

[00:14:44] CHELSEY: I'm ready. Heads!

[00:14:46] TREY: It's heads.

[00:14:48] CHELSEY: I'm so good at this game. Wow. That was the second time in a row that I guess correctly.

[00:14:52] TREY: And here we go. We're going to do five first, which is interesting.

[00:14:54] CHELSEY: Okay. We're going to do five first!

[00:14:58] VOICEOVER: Review That Review.

[00:15:02] CHELSEY: All righty. My review today is a five-star review from Yelp. It is written by Corrina R, sorry. I'm wrong. It is written by, sorry. I just misread it is written by Karin R. Who is an elite reviewer.

[00:15:24] TREY: Tell us Chelsey, what is the subject of today's episode?

[00:15:28] CHELSEY: Okay. So the subject of today's episode of vs is Yep. Trey, you want to tell the listeners a little bit about the service.

[00:15:42] TREY: Sure. I, yes I do. So, so or as Yelp calls it, Clowns. Is a clown party, equipment rental magician entertainment company. It's located in New York. This is a company that you can hire to bring delight, joy and fun to your parties for your children or adults.

[00:16:08] CHELSEY: Very good synopsis, love that. All right. So without further ado, Karin R uh, this is our five-star review of

So a few weeks back, I got suckered into accompanying a friend and her little one to a children's birthday party. Not going to lie. I was dreading it. Who wants to go to a child's birthday party when they themselves have no children? Let me also add that I, myself work with children, so chilling with them on my day off, ugh, but I digress. So as we are approaching the party, my friend says, by the way, there are going to be characters entertaining the kids. Fantastic. But really. It was awesome. Mila and Sean were so engaging and silly, so fun and so sweet with the kids. And they did an incredible job keeping the flow moving naturally from the way they greeted the children to the way they interacted with them, the entire length of the party to the way they said goodbye was really great. Without hesitation, if I ever have the need to hire entertainment myself, or if I could make the recommendation to another friend, I would absolutely recommend this company. And I would tell tell to request Mila and Sean. Thanks guys for making it a fun time for all.

[00:17:48] TREY: Karin! I have a lot of questions.

[00:17:50] CHELSEY: Okay, let's...I'm, I'm ready.

[00:17:52] TREY: It's very interesting to me that Karin was a guest.

[00:17:55] CHELSEY: Yeah. Me too.

[00:17:56] TREY: And left a review.

[00:17:57] CHELSEY: Yes.

[00:17:58] TREY: What do you think about that?

[00:17:59] CHELSEY: Okay. Here are my thoughts. I did think about that but let's remember this: Karin is an elite Yelp reviewer. So I think that Karin is the type of person that anytime she goes anywhere, not only does she see it as an experience, but she sees it as an experience to write a review. And so for that reason, I feel like it is appropriate that Karin, on our behalf, wrote this review.

[00:18:26] TREY: Incredibly said. You just totally swayed me on that. Okay. So it's very interesting to me. This is, um, I'm planting a seed here, it's interesting that this reviewer has mentioned specifically the clowns that arrived, by name Myla and Sean, because, you know, I would imagine that these sort of, party entertainment hire companies, there might be a little bit of luck of the draw. You know, if this is a major company, they have a roster of entertainters... entertainers.

[00:18:56] CHELSEY: "Enter-taint-ers!"

[00:18:58] TREY: That's like a drag queen thing. So, I'm glad that Mila and Sean were highlighted for being so excellent. I also did write down flow. That Karin really pointed out that they were excellent at keeping the flow going and Karin shares that they are someone that works with children. And so, you know, I imagined Karin has an acute awareness of what it takes to keep, attention and, uh, children engaged.

[00:19:23] CHELSEY: Yeah!

[00:19:24] TREY: So I appreciated that.

[00:19:25] CHELSEY: Yeah, I liked all the details that she gave us. What I thought was so funny about this review, to me, was like, it was almost like we got two reviews in one, like first Karin is like, I thought it was reading a one-star review. I was like, oh, maybe they like made a mistake and they put five stars cause she was really like, I got suckered into this thing and you know, I'm dreading it and I hate clowns, like there's going to be entertainment. Great. You know? And then she just pivoted to like how awesome it was.

[00:19:54] TREY: I appreciate that. Cause I think like, except I think I would have the opposite reaction. Like I don't need to be around children, but if there were children in entertainment, I would,

[00:20:04] CHELSEY: Then you would be into it?

[00:20:05] TREY: I mean, the word fantastic that was in the review would be serious to me because I'd be like, all right, I want to see, I want to see what's going on here. I want to see this Elsa. I want to see how committed she is to letting it go. Like I would be into that. I love balloon animals. I love magic. Like I would totally be into that.

[00:20:24] CHELSEY: Yeah. I want to point out oddly enough, for some reason, everywhere else in this review, Karin has a lot of punctuation. We have ellipses, we have all capital letters. We have exclamation points. Fantastic is written on its own line without exclamation point. So truly left up to the reader, I guess. It's literally just the word. Fantastic. No exclamation point, no question mark. No period. No ellipses.

[00:20:53] TREY: Interesting.

[00:20:53] CHELSEY: No written hints, but I assumed that we were still in the part of the review where she was setting up like oh, fantastic. And that, cause she says, but really it ,was awesome. Yeah. It was great. It felt like,

[00:21:07] TREY: I think you read that right. I mean, it feels correct.

[00:21:10] CHELSEY: Yeah, I think She was, truly surprised by her own.

[00:21:15] TREY: delight.

[00:21:16] CHELSEY: Delight. At what she experienced.

[00:21:18] TREY: So, do we think that Karin is being truthful here? Because it did occur to me. Is this like the owner's friend?

[00:21:24] CHELSEY: I have that thought for a second, because like I said, it felt like almost set up where it's like, I wasn't sure if I was going to like this stuff, but it wasn't amazing. Like, it did feel like all of a sudden we went from like this grounded, rough, real person to a bit of an ad... a little. Right? Like I would, without hesitation, like I ever need to hire entertainment. So.

[00:21:51] TREY: Yeah. And they, Karin mentions Mila and Shawn twice by name,

[00:21:56] CHELSEY: Yes. However, every five star review that I read referenced the people that were there and multiple times. I did remember that there were a few names I saw consistently like, oh wow, everybody really loves this person.

[00:22:10] TREY: This happened to me today. Randomly. I went to get a haircut and I needed to find a place to go. And at the end I asked for her card and it was the person's name that was referenced in the Google reviews.

[00:22:20] CHELSEY: There you go!

[00:22:21] TREY: I don't think there's much humor here, but it doesn't really matter. I mean, we are talking about clowns, which are pretty silly, so I would think there might be humor, but

[00:22:30] CHELSEY: Yeah, but I think Karin takes her job very seriously. I will say like, maybe it wasn't the most ha ha ha ha funny, like Shenice that started her review with ha ha ha ha ha you know, I mean, we can't all be Shenice, but I did feel like I got to know her personality.

[00:22:47] TREY: Correct, yeah.

[00:22:48] CHELSEY: And backstory that like she's, I would say a middle aged person that is of childbearing age, but doesn't have children. Right? We learned that

[00:23:00] TREY: I love when you do this,

[00:23:01] CHELSEY: What?

[00:23:01] TREY: I love when you create a whole backstory. That's my favorite. Honestly.

[00:23:05] CHELSEY: If I was like in intelligence and I was breaking down this review, I kind of thought she was a teacher. Cause I mean, instill until we had the one error where she said. In the end. And I just, I always read it, you know, the way that it's written, she says I would absolutely recommend this company. And I would tell tell to request Mila and Sean. That was like one error, but other than that, like everything was sort of elementary school teacher perfect to me.

[00:23:34] TREY: When you read that, I thought the tale tell heart. That's like how I, I didn't even think that it was T E L L T E L L like the, they put the word twice.

[00:23:42] CHELSEY: Yeah. They put the word. Yeah. Like

[00:23:44] TREY: I have an opinion here, but I'm going to mention it in the crowning.

[00:23:47] CHELSEY: I'll just say quickly in terms, because this is a versus the episode. I do wish that there was a part of this review that had talked about the process of hiring them and like what, and the cost and any of those elements that might've been able to allow me to either redeem or condemn, but bearing in mind that we're reviewing Karin as Karin has come to us today. I think I'm ready to crown.

[00:24:14] TREY: Yeah, I think so too. Let's do it.

[00:24:16] CHELSEY: Okay.

[00:24:16] TREY: All right. So Chelsey and I each have our own set of one to five crown cards. In an effort to be fair and not influenced by one another. We will simultaneously review reveal our rating.

[00:24:27] CHELSEY: Oh my god. Okay.

[00:24:31] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating.

[00:24:33] TREY: You ready?

[00:24:34] CHELSEY: I need a minute, I need my half!

[00:24:37] TREY: Spoiler.

[00:24:38] CHELSEY: Oh, sorry. Okay.

[00:24:39] TREY: Okay. You ready?

[00:24:41] CHELSEY: I'm ready.

[00:24:46] VOICEOVER: Total score!.

[00:24:48] TREY: I have two and a half crowns and Chelsey has three and a half.

[00:24:51] CHELSEY: I have three and a half crowns. Okay. Trey, explain yourself.

[00:24:54] TREY: Okay. I'm just going to say look, my opinion is that it feels a little planted to me. I think either Mila and Shawn, said it would be really helpful if you like if you had a great experience and you wrote a great review, mention us by name. Or Karin knows Mila and Sean, I'm not saying that is what is, but there is something that feels a little odd to me. I do understand that, like you're getting a personal experience. And so you would like tip them because they are the actual ones and whatever, but I don't know, something feels a little, a little curious to me. And so I'm sticking with that.

[00:25:30] CHELSEY: Fair.

[00:25:31] TREY: So I said two and a half crowns because the impact here is like, oh, they had a great experience. It does make me think that I'm going to need Mila and "Schwan." I don't know why I keep saying it that way, but it's fun for me.

[00:25:42] CHELSEY: We're from New York. It's fine.

[00:25:43] TREY: So I gave it two and a half crowns because it was, wasn't very humorous to me. And come on, this is a review about clowns.

[00:25:50] CHELSEY: Yeah.

[00:25:50] TREY: So I wanted some fun, so, but it was to the point. Good. Solid. Five-star. that's why I did that. Okay. So why did you do three and a half?

[00:25:59] CHELSEY: Okay. First of all, like I want to say that HammondCheeseSandWitch, if you're listening, like, I think you've really impacted, like you've made me a little bit more soft because ever since you said the thing about like yelling at your phone to like our grading, I think he thought we were too harsh on something. Like, I always think about you when I am reviewing. So that being said, I feel like I know Karin. I know who she is. For me, personality plays a big part. I hate with a capital hate reading reviews that feel like, just canned and the same thing over and over again, like just details in a way that doesn't give me the person's personality. And for me, that's like a huge Queen factor and I felt like I knew Karin. And for that, like, I, gave her high points. It was written well, I understood her POV and I understood, that she was surprised by, by her acceptance and excitement of this. I didn't really feel like it, it was fake. Maybe I'm too trusting, but I believe Karin R had this experience. And I took off a couple of crowns or one and a half crowns, I guess, because I wanted to know from the horse's mouth in terms of like the booking process, um, her fault also like, yeah, I wasn't cackling on the floor like I have for some of our other reviews. So for that reason, I took away the one and a half, but a three and a half crowns for me from Karin.

[00:27:28] TREY: Totally solid.

[00:27:29] CHELSEY: Tipping my crown off to you as an elite reviewer.

[00:27:32] TREY: Who's turning into Paula now.

[00:27:34] CHELSEY: I'm gonna again say Hammond, you've changed my

[00:27:38] TREY: C-c-c-cold hearted ham and cheese sandwich.

[00:27:41] CHELSEY: I know.

[00:27:42] TREY: All right, so awesome. Great. That's our five-star of the company, We did it. So we're going to take a quick break. And then when we come back, we will hear an entirely different side of the story.

[00:27:57] CHELSEY: I love it. BRB,

[00:27:59] TREY: BRBzy! Don't you go anywhere,

[00:28:02] CHELSEY: Please don't go.

[00:28:05] VOICEOVER: Hold your crown. We'll be right back.

[00:28:31] TREY: It's game time, everyone. All right. It's time for us to take a quick spin on the Meryl-Go-Round.

[00:28:39] VOICEOVER: I don't feel like an icon. Most of the days, I feel like 'I can't!' That's with an a!

[00:28:48] CHELSEY: Okay. Here's the deal. Trey and I have each picked a rotten, scathing, pithy one-star zinger. And with 30 seconds, not a second longer on the clock. We'll take turns, trying to recite the zinger in as many genres as possible.

[00:29:03] TREY: Just like queen Meryl, who can do it all, henny.

[00:29:06] CHELSEY: Yep. She does no wrong! Before the clock runs out. Okay.

[00:29:11] TREY: All right. So I will go first since you read the five-star. So today my one-star zinger is from It is for the Bri brizzled brizzled solar string lights, outdoor. This has nothing to do with how I was burned by these LED lights behind me.

[00:29:31] CHELSEY: I think it might.

[00:29:31] TREY: This is a different company and these are for outdoor.

[00:29:35] CHELSEY: Okay.

[00:29:36] TREY: So this is from Heather. The subject is they arrived tangled. Received. And it's tangled. Can't even untangle it to use it. Please wrap the wire around a piece of cardboard and not itself. Disappointed.

[00:29:50] CHELSEY: Okay.

[00:29:50] TREY: It's long it's long.

[00:29:51] CHELSEY: I was gonna say, I don't know how pithy, this pithy review is, but I'll allow it.

[00:29:57] TREY: I, I love that. Like, Heather is so mad that she's like, or they are, like, I am going to tell you to wrap it around cardboard.

[00:30:06] CHELSEY: Yeah. I mean, at least she gave them some sort of instructions for how they could improve. I need like a handicap or you, you need like an extra 10 seconds or something like that, but it's fine. You did this to yourself at the end of the day.

[00:30:18] TREY: Yeah. Cause I'm going to, it's a challenge.

[00:30:20] CHELSEY: Yes! All right. I can't wait to hear it. Are you ready?

[00:30:25] TREY: Yes.

[00:30:25] CHELSEY: Let's do it.

Courtroom drama, fro saved, and it's tangled. Kenny, even untangle it to you is please wrap the wire around a piece of cardboard and not itself.


[00:30:36] VOICEOVER: melodrama

[00:30:40] TREY: bang, go like on to even untangle it too. You wrap the wire around a piece of cardboard and that itself is a boy PLC

[00:30:50] CHELSEY: reality.

[00:30:52] VOICEOVER: Recite that Angus tango

[00:30:54] TREY: tiny, even untangled it to gauge it. Please wrap the wire around a piece of cardboard. Not self-discipline.

Oh, I only got three. I really handicapped myself. I can't do this ever again.

[00:31:06] CHELSEY: That's what I'm saying. I don't know what you're thinking. This is a game. Trey.

[00:31:11] TREY: I guess I'm living in the past because of how I was burned by Brookstone led lights. But

[00:31:15] CHELSEY: It's true. Anyway, that was hilarious. That TLC read alone should get you cast in something because...

[00:31:23] TREY: I mean, that's the kind of stuff that my sister and her husband watch.

[00:31:26] CHELSEY: That's so funny. Like what, like, what was your inspo for that? Like duck dynasty or something?

Like what was that?

[00:31:33] TREY: No! 'cause they don't, they don't like gay people, so I don't support duck dynasty.

[00:31:37] CHELSEY: Sorry!

[00:31:38] TREY: There's this show called Extremely Freaking Cheap or something, or like Very Freaking Cheap. And it's just like people that are like doing the most outright. It's all fake I'm sure. But it's a reality show where they're like, literally doing everything possible to spend no money. And so they kind of stay on like that. They sound like they're trying to save the money. Okay. Anyway,

[00:31:59] CHELSEY: Is that how people sound when they're trying to save money? Okay.

[00:32:03] TREY: All of them!

[00:32:04] CHELSEY: Wow. Anyway.

[00:32:05] TREY: Okay. Now it's your turn.

[00:32:06] CHELSEY: It is my... I'm stalling. As you can see.

[00:32:09] TREY: I think I'm going to win with three.

[00:32:11] CHELSEY: You might. So my review is from It has a one-star review of Nature's Garden keto snack mix, the 24 ounce variety a two pack. Um, it is written by Mary Brown and the subject is nasty stuff. Threw it away. And the review, the zinger is Ick! Made my stomach upset.

[00:32:38] TREY: Okay! It's a really good one.

[00:32:42] CHELSEY: Thank you.

[00:32:44] TREY: All right, you ready?

[00:32:46] CHELSEY: Yes!

Televangelist. Make my stomach upset. Magic show appropriately

made my stomach upset.

Designate my stomach upset, soap opera


my stomach upset. I don't film

my stomach upset.

Musical theater,

Abra diva.

[00:33:21] VOICEOVER: That's all

[00:33:23] TREY: 4, 5, 6, 7.

[00:33:26] CHELSEY: Wow.

[00:33:27] TREY: Seven continues to be the highest that's ever happened.

[00:33:30] CHELSEY: That a really high score in my opinion. Wow. But my I'm in, like you had not a chance, Trey. Like, I feel like I can't even accept the win.

[00:33:39] TREY: You accept this win!

[00:33:40] CHELSEY: Alright, I'll accept the win. Thank you.

[00:33:42] TREY: You never want to accept the win.

[00:33:43] CHELSEY: It's hard to accept the win. Yeah. I think that's a metaphor for something, but we'll...

[00:33:48] TREY: Just, honkin take it.

[00:33:49] CHELSEY: Honka-honka. Yeah I like that.

[00:33:53] VOICEOVER: Review That Review.

[00:33:57] CHELSEY: Okay. We are back from that rousing game break with Meryl and it is Trey's turn.

[00:34:05] TREY: Okay.

[00:34:06] CHELSEY: Are you excited, Trey?

[00:34:07] TREY: I'm excited. All right. So I am covering the one star review for and I like you, had a challenging time picking the one that I thought would be, the most appropriate for the episode, but I have landed with this one star review from Yelp for written by Tina R.

[00:34:31] CHELSEY: Tina R

[00:34:32] TREY: And here's the review. Iron Man came a half hour late past the 3:30 to 4:00 PM. window. Arrived at four 30. He was not dressed or ready to entertain. In fact, he got dressed on my front stoop. Where the children saw him getting dressed. He was not in character whatsoever and didn't speak or make a peep. This was supposed to be a character experience and interaction. Instead of coming in character and bringing the Iron Man persona, he awkwardly lingered around my backyard, making the entire party feel extremely uncomfortable. His suit was a red leotard. At least put some shoulder pads in and bring some excitement. My husband and I were completely embarrassed and he was the joke of the party. dot dot dot the, caps, joke. Never again, will I use this company nor will my guests. Horrendous Iron Man! Absolutely, the biggest let down for my son and his fourth birthday. I even called when I scheduled and told them exactly what our expectations were and Christian whom we booked with and spoke with multiple times, just simply yessed me to death to get our money. "Oh yes. This is a character experience and interaction." Couldn't be the farthest thing from that. They sent the complete opposite of Iron Man. Every kid saw through him. My husband called to discuss what had happened with the manager. And he had zero compassion and didn't even offer merely a credit or slight refund. We could have picked up a better Iron Man hanging around times square. In fact, those are probably better! A complete embarrassment. I'm mortified.

[00:36:51] CHELSEY: Wow. I got to say, I always laugh at these four year old birthday parties where the parents take it so seriously. I feel like Tina really just summed it up for us in that last sentence. When she said she was embarrassed, because I feel like going into this, Tina was like, everybody went to Betsy's son's four year old birthday and they couldn't stop talking about that Iron Man cake. And I'm going to do them one better. Like I'm not going to have just an Iron Man cake, which I will have, I'm going to have Iron Man. And then when, when it just didn't pan out the way that it, it had panned out in her brain, she was just that much more hurt.

[00:37:31] TREY: Oh, yeah.

[00:37:32] CHELSEY: Anyway, Tina, first of all, when you were talking about, Iron Man getting dressed on the front stoop, I wrote traumatizing,

[00:37:41] TREY: Oh Yeah