Review That Review with Chelsey & Trey
Episode 197: "Palm Springs Hotel - 2 Star Review"
Transcription
*Please pardon any and all spelling errors!
[00:00:00] THEME SONG: Everybody's got an opinion.
Every Californian and Virginian.
It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.
Someone's gotta settle the score.
Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!
Whose views win, which ones lose.
Online haters are comin' for you!
Baby, it's time to Review That Review!
TREY GERRALD: Well, hello and welcome to Review That Review.
We are the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing Reviews! That is Chelsey Donn. And that is Trey Gerrald. And us together are
CHELSEY DONN: The Review Queens. That's right. But first, Trey, I feel like it's been a while since I've seen you in real life. You were [00:01:00] sick. You were going through the plague. All the things were happening.
And I imagine you've been storing up some complaints for the winter, so, would you like to Ledge a complaint.
TREY GERRALD: Well, yes, I would. Although I didn't even think about when I had the strap and the flu at the same time, um, today I really need to lodge a complaint against people who frequent a physical fitness gym, right?
And, um, Choose intentionally to take the closest parking spots. Why? Why is that a thing? You are paying money to an establishment monthly. Right. To house a facility to make you do things you don't want to do to lift heavy things to repeat the [00:02:00] lifting of the heavy things to break sweat previous complaint to live stream to all of your hands.
Um, why then is it imperative to you to park as close to the door as possible? If the sole purpose is doing things that are good for your body, Increasing your heart rate, uh, walking. We, we, we pay to walk on an endless belt, going nowhere. We're walking in place going nowhere, okay? But in order to get to that belt that goes nowhere, where we're going to walk for, what, half an hour.
I know people that walk for an hour. We go up steps that go nowhere. But we must park as close as possible because we can't get be inconvenienced to walk a few steps further to the door. What is that? And It's a complaint because I want to park as close [00:03:00] as possible and I can't park as close as possible because everyone else is trying to park as close as possible to go to the place for physical fitness.
Okay. And, and taking aside that I live in a place that has a lot of snow and is cold. So, because I can, I can understand that sensation where it's like, I don't, I want to be as least uncomfortable as possible before I go to the place to be uncomfortable. But why is that a thing? Why in our heads do we not think, let me park as far as possible.
I'll get a head start. This will be an extra 30 seconds. It's not the grocery store where I know I'm going to be schlepping and pushing a cart, being responsible for returning the cart. None of that exists. No, no, none of that exists. We're going to the gym for the physicality. Why must we park close?
That's my complaint.
CHELSEY DONN: I hear you. It's an interesting complaint. I mean, I like that you owned up to the fact that you're a [00:04:00] part of the problem. I think that's an important element of the complaint. I'm not even
TREY GERRALD: part of it because I can't even get them because everyone gets them before me.
CHELSEY DONN: But you also have the same desire.
I have to say, I've been there and my excuse was that at the time that I was going to the gym, I was going for a certain class that started at a certain time. Like I have this class and it starts exactly at six and I'm like running to get there after work and I'm in such a rush because I have to make it to this class because they close the door after like 10 minutes or five minutes or whatever it is.
I gotta park close in that scenario,
TREY GERRALD: leave earlier.
CHELSEY DONN: I couldn't, I was coming straight from work.
TREY GERRALD: You can say, beep, beep, I'm in the HOV lane. Beep, beep, I got this dummy in the backseat. There's a whole carpool going.
CHELSEY DONN: I mean, we have to get there safely. But anyway, the point is, I think that some people get like frantic when they're going to a certain class.
And it's like, oh my god, I gotta [00:05:00] get there. I have to find my spot. If I don't get there early, then I'm not gonna get my spot, like, you know. People are. So I think that that could play a part in it. But I hear you. There is hypocrisy there. And I'm sorry that you're the one that has to walk past everybody else.
TREY GERRALD: Yeah. Keying every damn car as I go. You're about to. Oh my God. All right. Well, I feel a little better. Yes. Um, hopefully anyone watching or listening, you, you've, you can experience that. If you have experienced that, you can commiserate with me. Let us know in the comments.
CHELSEY DONN: Yes, I hear you try. I've added it to the ledger.
TREY GERRALD: Thank you.
CHELSEY DONN: Let's all just walk. Why are we paying to walk on a belt? I mean, I, I don't understand that anyway. Like I feel like if you're going to walk, walk outside because what? I don't get it. Um, I avoid the stairs everywhere and then it's like, I'm expected to do a stair master. I don't think so.
TREY GERRALD: I have someone who fell for the Peloton.
Oh yes. Having used it in years.
CHELSEY DONN: You hang clothes on it, right?
TREY GERRALD: Don't [00:06:00] bring this up to my husband, . Let's, let's move on quickly. Yes,
CHELSEY DONN: let's, okay, let's
TREY GERRALD: stage the space. Shall we jump into an online review? Chelsey, I'd love to hear what you brought in. Yes, let's do it. Okay. But before we do, you guys we're just gonna ask, we're gonna keep asking because you know it's very free it, you're already here, so can we just invite you if you are loving the show.
Be sure to hit that subscribe button. It's just one click and you, you won't even have to ever consider it ever again. It's just done. Click. It's easy. Give the video a little like it takes no, here we go. It's more cardio for your finger. Just click the button, right? You're here. Just, just you click the thumbs up and drop a little comment.
It requires a little bit of more, but like we're typing all day long. You can just say, I hate parking far at the gym. Let us know what's making you laugh, what's making you gasp, what is making you cringe the most.
CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, and plus, like, [00:07:00] part of the thing about being on YouTube is being able to communicate with you guys and read your comments and engage and this isn't a one way street, baby.
This is about you, too. I mean, I know that you have things to vetch about, okay? 1 850 REVIEW ZERO. You want to kvetch? You call that number, okay? You have a complaint that you want to just write in the comment, write it down. Maybe we'll address it in a future episode. This is your opportunity to interact with us.
TREY GERRALD: Yes.
CHELSEY DONN: Hello. We'll give you a second. Okay. You could have done something there. I'm going to keep saying it sometimes people need to be addressed in the moment. I know for me, if I'm watching something and I say, Oh, I'll subscribe later. I'm not going to do it. So I just wanted to give you an opportunity.
Subscribe. There you go. It's right here. Like literally just click it. Here you go. I clicked it [00:08:00]
VOICEOVER: and here I'm going to do it too.
CHELSEY DONN: Or maybe,
you know, clickety clickety click. All right. I
TREY GERRALD: think we ran this into the ground. Okay. Why don't we jump into that review you brought in, babe? Let's do it.
CHELSEY DONN: Review that review.
As you know, we are your trusty review queens. We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel Need to be inspected.
TREY GERRALD: We read you a review, we break it down, and then we rate the impact of that review on a scale from zero to five crowns. We also have half crowns. It's a really regal process that we call Assess That Kvetch.
And Chelsey, what are we doing today? Let me know.
CHELSEY DONN: Yes. Well, first, I have to take two seconds just to acknowledge this beautiful background. If you're watching on YouTube that you get to see this is the debut episode of this. Gorgeous background. [00:09:00] Okay. So enjoy it. If you're, if you're following us on Instagram, you've already seen it.
Um, but I thought the time of year, Trey, when we just need a little vacay, even if it's just like a weekend, well, vacay. So I thought, let me look into Palm Springs. I like to go to Palm Springs. It's close by, tends to be a little bit warmer there. I was like, let's see what's going on. I want to stay at someplace new.
Okay. So I ended up on Google reviews. And I found a hotel called Triada, Palm Springs Autograph Collection. Oh, Autograph. Yeah, Triada is spelled T R I A D A. And it's a four star hotel. And it has 4. 2 out of 5 stars, which as you know is sort of on the fence there. Like, I was like, I won't not stay at a 4. 2.
So I thought, let me look at the reviews and see what we have going [00:10:00] on here, okay? And I found this review by Carrie C. It's a two out of five stars on Google Reviews. Here we go. We've stayed here six times. Wow. It's not a cookie cutter hotel at all. It's really different. We've stayed in the queen suite four times.
Our last stay, however, will be our last visit. The staff here repeatedly lied about something. And I just can't get past that. I've overlooked many negative details at this place because of its charm. But now, after the lies, I'm done. I will never stay here again.
TREY GERRALD: Well, this reminds me of a previous episode [00:11:00] about dangling a carrot. That's right. And, um, I was hoping we would get into it. But to reference, I wrote it. Lied about something. Oh my god. Lied. And then later after these lies, okay, you've gone to the effort to go to Google Reviews to spill the tea and you're going to get that close like you're, you're on the edge of the branch and you're not going to jump like what, what Carrie see.
What, what's, what is your purpose? Why did you spend the amount of time to say that you stayed here six times and that you stayed in the Queen's suite four of those times to not stick the landing? It's very frustrating.
CHELSEY DONN: You took the words right out of my mouth, Trey.
TREY GERRALD: It's such a waste.
CHELSEY DONN: I mean, it's a waste.
It's a waste of time and energy. It's such a waste. And it's also just like, it's, it's. To me, when I first [00:12:00] read it, it was hilarious because I'm like, because of the lie, like they repeatedly lied to like an Agatha Christie. Like what? Like, honestly, I wanted to take a moment with you to just imagine just for a moment just to dig into our psyche and try and pull out what you imagine.
Try. What's the lie?
TREY GERRALD: Well, I'm, that's, okay, that's a good question. You watch
CHELSEY DONN: Pretty Little Liars and Pretty, what, what's the lie try?
TREY GERRALD: So many lies on that show. So many
CHELSEY DONN: lies.
TREY GERRALD: You know, what could one lie about maybe if you like wanted an upgrade and they're like, oh, there's not available. And then you realize there's like no one in the hotel room or lied about something, the rates or the pool hours that tends to be very popular in the reviews.
Maybe, like, uh, uh, [00:13:00] maybe they wanted more towels and they were told they couldn't get more towels or, um, maybe they said that the room had been cleaned and it looked like it hadn't been cleaned.
CHELSEY DONN: Maybe they said that they were going to give them like all caffeinated coffee and no decaf.
TREY GERRALD: Maybe they said that because they were valued guests, they wouldn't charge them for like the drinks that are in the fridge.
I mean, this is the problem with this review is that we could, we could continue to hypothesize forever. I think that's something interesting. Like,
CHELSEY DONN: I think that what would make me that mad, like, if they told me that I'm a whatever member and so I don't have to pay for valet and then I went to check out and I was charged for like a week of valet and I'd stayed there like six other times and they never charged me for valet.
I've never, it's preposterous. And now they're like refusing to take that off the bill.
TREY GERRALD: I mean, we could do this for hours. [00:14:00] So as this review itself stands, any valuable new or unique information, I do appreciate that they come out with their expertness because they've stayed there many times. They have an authority from experience.
So I appreciate that. I was, I was excited. I was like rubbing my hands cause I was like, let's get into it. Spelling grammar for what they went into is fine. Fine. Truthful shady.
CHELSEY DONN: I think it's shady. I just think it's shady. Like. Say it, you know, because like we could have talked about this for hours and now maybe we're assigning all these scenarios That are incorrect.
So like it's shady. Just say it
TREY GERRALD: also It seems shady to me because I wonder if they're being manipulative by not going into it, right? That's what I'm saying because they don't want To piss the hotel off. They want the hotel to see and then communicate with Keri Sea and, and, and [00:15:00] be like, well, I didn't want to air the dirty laundry.
So give me four nights for free. Or what, like something feels even more shady about not. Going into it, um, common, typical, I don't, I don't expect to be lied to by a hotel.
CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, I mean, I don't know if it's common or typical because I don't feel like we have enough context. Unfortunately. Also, it's a two
TREY GERRALD: star.
CHELSEY DONN: It's a two star. It's a two star because you've stayed there six times and you've stayed in this one suite four times.
TREY GERRALD: You know, because we do this so often, you were saying like it was funny. It's not even funny to me anymore. It's like kind of, it's kind of enraging to me to get to do this because it's, it's just, it's a waste of energy and it's a waste of time on all parties.
But I'm entertained because it's like half of the story. Would this have an impact or a deal breaking? No, I'm mad at Carrie. I'm not mad. No, this didn't
CHELSEY DONN: make [00:16:00] this, I ended up getting a better price somewhere else. And so I didn't stay at this hotel, but I would have stayed here based off of this review.
There's nothing that Carrie said that made me feel like, and if anything, it was like, oh, it's quirky and it's not cookie cutter. And the screen suite is great. Like there was more information that was positive than negative. Right. So it wouldn't make the impact is I would still stay here. You're mad.
TREY GERRALD: I'm angry at Carrie.
Yeah.
CHELSEY DONN: Okay. Well, I think you should take that rage and put it into your crowning
TREY GERRALD: all right, so let's Rate and review this as as it stands Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards in an effort to be fair and not influence one another We will simultaneously Reveal our rating. Okay The queens are tabulating.
Time
VOICEOVER: for school. Okay,
CHELSEY DONN: interesting. [00:17:00] Trey's holding up one crown, I'm holding up two crowns. Trey, you go first. Why one crown for Carrie C? Besides that you hate her.
TREY GERRALD: It's just, it is alerting a red flag. So like, there's that. But, to say that they lied about something and like, now you'll never say it because of the lies, is sort of like okay, well what are the lies?
Like, it's just an incomplete sentence. So that's frustrating to me one crown because I feel like it would at least it's like alerting me that maybe they're dishonest And I appreciate that they've stayed there. So like, you know, but ultimately I'm frustrated. So why did you do an extra crown? Why'd you say two crowns?
CHELSEY DONN: There was a lot of information in here. I kind of felt like I was like volleying a little both carry I'm like you want to give two crowns. I'm gonna give you two crowns back like You gave two crowns worth of information and you were, you lost three crowns worth of credibility when you didn't [00:18:00] indulge in the lies.
Do it or don't do it. The, the like teetering the line is very frustrating and just not review Queenie. So two crowns. Harry C.
TREY GERRALD: Don't do it little girl. Don't
CHELSEY DONN: do it. Tell us the lies. Tell us the dirty little lies. Here's what not to do in a review. People ask us all the time, review queens, what should I not do? What, what, [00:20:00] like, if you had to give me a tip. I would say don't start with if I could give this zero stars. Yeah, never.
TREY GERRALD: It's so annoying. You know, the reason, and just to break it down one more little step here, the reason it's important to spill the tea is because it may not be equally as important to me reading the review as it is to you writing it.
Give me all of the information so that I can interpolate what's important. Did I use that word wrong?
CHELSEY DONN: Interpret.
TREY GERRALD: What's interpolate mean? I
CHELSEY DONN: don't think that's a word.
TREY GERRALD: Oh. I'm from South Carolina. Just because they may have lied about the snack machine or something and like, and I'm not going to use a snack machine, so I don't care.
CHELSEY DONN: Even the guy that complained about the pool of several episodes back, there was a guy on the show and he thought, assumed that there was a pool at this location of a hotel in San Francisco, and he was livid about it. [00:21:00] But at least he gave us the information so we know that there's no ghoul there.
VOICEOVER: Right.
CHELSEY DONN: What did we learn here today? Class? Nothing. Nothing about Triada. All right. Well, that was fun.
VOICEOVER: Enraging. I love
CHELSEY DONN: infuriating Trey, um, and in an effort to regroup Trey, do you want to take this moment To induct someone as royal highness. I think we've reached the most regal portion of our show and it's time
Yes
TREY GERRALD: okay, so I I don't even know how I originally found this Instagram account But it's something that I followed probably years ago and it's at puppy songs Chelsey, do you know this account?
CHELSEY DONN: I don't think, [00:22:00] are they dog songs for puppies?
TREY GERRALD: Yes, good deducing. Good, um, what did I say? What's the word I made up?
Inter Good interpolating. Interpolating. Interpolations. Okay, at Puppy Songs, you may have heard, because they're little soundbites that sort of go viral on TikTok and on Instagram, this creator had sad face, two senior chihuahuas. One passed away and the other one just recently passed away as well. But, they would make these really funny videos of like, the little like dogs, like just like, being dogs.
And one very famous is, My lips get stuck on my teeth. My lips get stuck on my teeth. And it's just like a video of like this old, like, black and grey chihuahua like this. That's so funny. And then other ones it's like, I puppied all day long. But he's like an actual jingle writer. Yeah. And has since created a Spotify account [00:23:00] so you can hear like the songs on loop.
They're all so cute. I get lost because they're earwormy, so they're very catchy. The dogs are like hilarious looking older senior dogs, you know. I have chihuahuas, so I have an affinity for that look. Um, but I appreciate the humor. And then the creativity and the skill like it's a beautiful marriage of all of those things.
So I implore everyone go and follow at puppy songs on TikTok on Instagram. Um, it, it is very, it is very heartwarming. And, um, then you just like start singing them at your dogs and they're like, give me a tree. So for that reason, I must induct, induct at Puppy Songs as my royal highness today. Share some
CHELSEY DONN: laughs for her.
Okay. I'm going to have to, I wrote that down for myself. I'm going to have to check that out. You're
TREY GERRALD: going to love. You're going to steal all those songs. Okay. Great. Yes. I
CHELSEY DONN: really [00:24:00] should now. I know the, the tea. Okay. There we go. Very funny. Love that.
TREY GERRALD: Well, we did a Queens. That's another round on the RUA. What?
I can't finish it. I can't. I can't finish. I can't reach the distance like Carrie. I'll start to tell RQ Ferris wheel.
CHELSEY DONN: You can't even call it an RQ Ferris wheel because There was no RQs to be found in this episode.
TREY GERRALD: I've done almost 200 of these episodes, but that's all I'm going to tell you.
CHELSEY DONN: Oh, wow. Okay.
Well, thank you for joining us today. I hope that you haven't seen as many reviews that are like, this is Trey and maybe you thought that this was funny or entertaining. I hope so. Um, thank you for joining us and if you liked what you saw or heard, please tell a friend.
TREY GERRALD: If you did not like what you heard or saw, please tell an enemy.
CHELSEY DONN: Okay. And tell us about the after show.
TREY GERRALD: All right. Now on today's after show pod, Chelsey and I, we are going to [00:25:00] be digging deep. We're going to go all the way to Scotland. Okay. What's a famous site in Scotland out of curiosity? Like, what would you think?
CHELSEY DONN: I don't know these things. Is it like
TREY GERRALD: a castle or
CHELSEY DONN: something?
TREY GERRALD: No. Okay. Chelsey and I are going to be rating and reviewing a one star trip advisor review for the Loch Ness.
CHELSEY DONN: I was gonna say Loch Ness, but I didn't really know what it was, but I'm excited to find out.
TREY GERRALD: I wonder why this was said. I'm fuming! I'm livid! Vicariousy! Give me my bagpipes, I'm livid and I'm fuming!
Where's my toe, my toe wiggling?
CHELSEY DONN: Oh my god. I wonder too, Trey.
TREY GERRALD: Yeah, but in the meantime, please remember.
CHELSEY DONN: Ignore the haters, you're a queen!
TREY GERRALD: Gender non specific queen. Of course. [00:26:00]
CHELSEY DONN: Bye.
TREY GERRALD: Sign up directly on Apple Podcast to hear our weekly members only after show. Unlock additional benefits when you become a Patreon member@reviewthatreview.com slash patreon.
Follow us on all the socials at the review queens and join our mailing list@reviewthatreview.com. Our kvetch line is open 24 7 at 1 8 5 0 review zero. You never visit, you never write. Give us a koal now. Have you ever been to Scotland? No, me either. I have a really funny story. I wonder if I've told this before.
Um, you know, I'm married to a Jewish person and my mom like had never been north of the Mason Dixon line until she came to New York to visit me. And so we were like, you know, in the back of a cab talking about funny things. And My, my, my husband was like, Peggy, my mom's name, have you ever heard of lox before?
Meaning like lox, like onions and [00:27:00] eggs, lox and bagels, like a Jewish delicacy. It's like a salmon, right? And my mom goes. Yeah, of course, Loch Ness Monster. And we repeat that very often, so as I found this review for the Loch Ness I thought, yeah of course, Loch Ness Monster. That's what I
CHELSEY DONN: thought too, that's why I didn't say anything earlier, that's so funny, I can't wait to learn what the Loch Ness actually is.
TREY GERRALD: And we're gonna get an actual review today.
CHELSEY DONN: Okay, great.
TREY GERRALD: On the after show.
CHELSEY DONN: Are you so mad at me?
TREY GERRALD: I'm not mad at you at all. I'm mad. I'm, I'm disappointed. I'm sorry. Not in you, in Carrie. I'm disappointed in Carrie too. It's funnier that there was no ending. That's actually very funny. Right. Like I really pushed the, the sound cue cause I was like, I gotta, I gotta know what they're lying about.
Cause you also said these things we came up with aren't real. Or you said something that was like alluding to the fact that you knew what the lie was [00:28:00] about. But you didn't know.
CHELSEY DONN: I didn't know, but I'm just saying, like, there was no real information there. There was not, like, you know, like, it's just
TREY GERRALD: You know what?
What? You know what Carrie is short for?
CHELSEY DONN: What?
TREY GERRALD: I just realized. What? Carrie is short for
You're right. Sorry,
CHELSEY DONN: Carrie. Alright, bye. Bye, Queens. Defend yourself, if you want.
TREY GERRALD: Yeah, why don't you defend yourself when you write the review the first time, Carrie? Bye, Queens. Bye.
Thanks for watching, Queens. Click here to subscribe, and click here for more videos.
Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.
Photo by Girl with red hat on Unsplash
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