top of page

TRANSCRIPT of Episode 2: "Spa Castle / Hard Rock Cafe Buffet"

Updated: Sep 17, 2021

Transcript of Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald Episode 2 "Spa Castle / Hard Rock Cafe Buffet" for the differently abled and those who prefer to read.

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn and Trey Gerrald

Episode 2

Theme Song: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion

Every Californian and

Virginian It's so hard

to tell who to trust and who to ignore

Someone's gotta settle the score

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose

Who's views win which one's lose

Online haters they're comin' for you

Baby it's time to Review That Review!

Trey: [00:00:30] Hey!

Chelsey: [00:00:31] Hi! Is it bad to jam out to your own theme song? I dunno , I was enjoying that!

Trey: [00:00:35] I mean, it's like the best, right? We're so lucky to have that amazing theme song.

Chelsey: [00:00:40] Wow, Natalie really? Knocked it out of the park.

Trey: [00:00:43] And so did Joe.

Chelsey: [00:00:44] Yeah. And Joe, thank you, Joe. Thank you. Thank you! Brilliant.

Trey: [00:00:47] Well, anyway,

Chelsey: [00:00:48] Anyway,

Trey: [00:00:49] Hey listeners. Welcome to Review That Review. The podcast dedicated to reviewing...

Chelsey: [00:00:56] were just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

Trey: [00:01:06] Oh, yes, that is Chelsey Donn

Chelsey: [00:01:09] and that's Trey Gerrald.

Trey: [00:01:11] But when we come together, we are

VOICEOVER: [00:01:14] The Review Queens.

Chelsey: [00:01:18] Gosh, these crowns are so heavy, you know, but someone's got to wear them.

Trey: [00:01:22] We, we don't actually have to wear them. This is a podcast.

Chelsey: [00:01:26] Oh, right. Well, okay. Anyway how's your week, Trey?

Trey: [00:01:30] Oh, I feel like I always really need a huge exhale. When you ask me that question.

Chelsey: [00:01:36] I know it is sort of an exhale inducing question. I'll give you that.

Trey: [00:01:40] But I don't know what I'm really exhaling about. I mean, I feel like I had a really great week. My husband.

Chelsey: [00:01:45] Good!

Trey: [00:01:45] Thank you. Yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to say thank you for saying good. Oh good. My, my husband David, uh, you know, the world has started opening back up and so he, um, is a wedding photographer, so he's been in Florida.

He had two separate weddings so I've been playing, you know, bachelor. Which has been fun. I can just like stretch out in a huge starfish in the bed, except for Winnie, because she like growls at me. If I take up space that she wants, but I don't know. I've had a really good week. It's been nice to sorta just do my own timeframe.

No, nothing like, yeah. What about you? How your week

Chelsey: [00:02:21] Livin' the life. My week's been good. I'm visiting family for the first time in over a year, since this whole COVID debacle,

Trey: [00:02:31] I was going to say the room that you're currently in looks strangely familiar to me.

Chelsey: [00:02:35] I know, it is weird. I, maybe you notice I'm not shooting my normal location today.

I'm in the drag queen room at Trey's house.

Trey: [00:02:45] there's also a little tiny picture of me as Peter Pan

Chelsey: [00:02:50] right there, and his shadow, his husband, but not like, but you know, it's not like a metaphor. here we are. I'm visiting. So I get to see Trey, which is great. I also have a nephew named Trey, so I got to see him as well.

it's been a good week. I've been getting up a lot earlier than I ever have. I always thought I wasn't a morning person. It turns out I just don't have children. You know, like, I guess you're you become a morning person when there are three little people that are like, "Get up! It's the daytime," you know, eventually, you're just like, Ugh, I guess I should get up.

So, been getting up earlier. So that's a good thing. And I celebrated my sister's birthday, last week, which was really nice. We haven't been together for a birthday in a while, so overall good week.

Trey: [00:03:33] I love that.

Chelsey: [00:03:34] Yeah!

Trey: [00:03:35] I feel like we're nailing, Um, having positive energy, which is a nice change from, living in COVID times.

Chelsey: [00:03:41] It's true. I think we've all learned to appreciate the little things.

Trey: [00:03:45] Yeah

Chelsey: [00:03:45] And with that in mind....

Trey: [00:03:47] Yeah. With that. Yeah, exactly. Perfect segue

Chelsey: [00:03:50] with that in mind, that brings us to

VOICEOVER: [00:03:53] Lodge a Complaint.

Chelsey: [00:03:56] Let's complain about stuff. Cause it feels good. So I was driving here today. Let's just like keep it in real time. And there are some construction people I'll call them who are working on the road, which is great.

And then there was a sign and it said, "Men Working" and it was triggering to me. I don't know why it's not because necessarily I've seen a lot of women construction workers, but I like to believe, There's no glass ceiling when it comes to construction. And there are plenty of women who are perfectly capable and I don't understand why the sign felt that it was necessary to let me know that there were men, there were men at work.

I'd never seen that before. Have you seen that before Trey?

Trey: [00:04:35] Of course.

Chelsey: [00:04:36] " Men Working?!"

Trey: [00:04:37] yeah.

Chelsey: [00:04:37] This is a thing?

Trey: [00:04:38] Was it like a big orange diamond or whatever?

Chelsey: [00:04:40] Yeah. It was like a big orange diamond, but it said Men Work... I mean, like I've seen like

Trey: [00:04:44] Work Zone?

Chelsey: [00:04:45] Work Zone exactly. Or like. you know, Working Ahead, Caution Working, you know, but like Working Men, like, why do I need to know it's a man?

And like, why are we assuming?

Trey: [00:04:56] That's, uh, I mean, it, like, I didn't even, I didn't even flinch at the top of this because I had know the sign. I've never thought about it.

Chelsey: [00:05:03] I think this is a, your area thing. I've never seen this before. I'm wondering if our listeners have seen this. Am I just weird?

Trey: [00:05:09] I feel like even in the deep south we had Men Working signs.

Chelsey: [00:05:13] Men Working?

Trey: [00:05:14] Yeah. But no, you're right. It's incredibly gendered. Like it doesn't really pass the 2021 test.

Chelsey: [00:05:19] No, I'm giving out a big old fail and I'd like to lodge a complaint.

Trey: [00:05:23] Do you, have like a, a suggestion for what the new signs should say and look like?

Chelsey: [00:05:28] I mean, I'm not really that disturbed by the actual design.

I get it orange, you know, triangle seems right. So that's fine for me.

Trey: [00:05:36] reflective...

Chelsey: [00:05:36] I think just maybe like Work In Progress, you know? Right. Like, we're all a work in progress. I was driving and I saw a sign. It was orange and it was like Work In Progress. I'd be like, yeah, that's right. Like a good reminder. Like I am a work in progress.

Like I don't need to be perfect. I'm a work in progress just like this road, but instead it's like MEN Working Here. So I have to be reminded of the patriarchy, just complaint lodged.

Trey: [00:06:03] I hear that. That is, it's a really great point. I'm never going to see one of those signs the same way again.

Chelsey: [00:06:08] Ahh!, I'm so glad I could change something in the world.

Trey: [00:06:12] I'm also ready to

VOICEOVER: [00:06:13] Lodge a Complaint.

Trey: [00:06:14] So this seems very, um, trivial, But I actually was thinking about this. You mentioned in an earlier podcast, the Siri feature on your apple watch constantly going off and it's

Chelsey: [00:06:27] All the time.

Trey: [00:06:28] It really started making me think about like how technology is all consuming. And I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but I am constantly being alerted that I am running out of g-mail storage. It makes me. Crazy. I-. I-. I-. Like, I, I think it's all a ploy from the man in order to like, get us to spend money on like getting Google backup storage. It actually like made me realize, oh my gosh, I've had my Gmail account since college and I never delete email.

I just archive it. So it's probably like, pre 2007, maybe of just like random emails, but the problem is it's cleaning them out. I get very sentimental. it's like, I don't need this email from whatever, but I I'm afraid to let go of it, even though I have no need for it.

I've never thought about it. It's just become a huge thing that makes me feel like I will never be able to Marie Kondo myself when it comes to like my digital clutter.

Chelsey: [00:07:34] Oh my god. I hear you so hard. I've had to upgrade twice from like the smaller package to the larger package. I'm now up to a larger package,

Of what?

Trey: [00:07:42] Gmail or Apple?

Chelsey: [00:07:44] Of Gmail ...of Google storage. Cause I've also refused to delete for sentimental reasons. I know, but also like. Cost benefit analysis. You know what I mean? Like me spending that time that it would take to sieve through all that versus paying a monthly fee. I mean, they just got me, they got us all.

Trey: [00:08:03] Well, that's my actual complaint here. It's not me. It's not my attachment. actually my ...

Chelsey: [00:08:09] their fault!

Trey: [00:08:09] No, my complaint here is this isn't like a landmine in North Dakota of garbage. Landfill. It's not a landfill in North Dakota of garbage. This is like digital storage. Like, why does, why do we need to be charged for this? Like, it's not like it's taking up actual space. Google just wants money.

Chelsey: [00:08:28] I don't really know enough about this, but I think there is something of like server space and there, there does appear to be. Like a amount of energy that your data takes up.

Trey: [00:08:40] Is that true?

Chelsey: [00:08:41] I don't know.

Trey: [00:08:42] It's this global warming

Chelsey: [00:08:43] Could be.

Trey: [00:08:44] Are we talking about the Green New Deal?

Chelsey: [00:08:45] I think we might be!

Trey: [00:08:47] Okay. Well then I'm all for it. All right. Great.

Chelsey: [00:08:51] Wow. God, I feel so much better now.

Trey: [00:08:54] I feel like that that really lightens my emotional load, Ewww, that sounded really. I don't like that. I don't like that. I said that. I felt so much happier now.

Chelsey: [00:09:03] I do feel happier. Oh my goodness. It just feels like this is why people get it out.

Get the complaints out, let's get it out. Okay. But enough of us let's hear some other people complaining.

Trey: [00:09:14] You know what I love the sound of that let's do it.

Chelsey: [00:09:17] I think we should.

And as you guys know, we are your trusty Review Queens. Each episode, we both bring in a review from the internet that we think needs to be inspected.

We read you the review, we break it down and then once we think we've got a good handle on the impact of the review, we will seal the deal with a rating of one to five crowns. It's a very Regal process that we call

VOICEOVER: [00:09:41] Assess That Kvetch!

Trey: [00:09:45] Okay, but Chelsey, I don't speak Yiddish. What does that word "key-vetch" mean?

Chelsey: [00:09:50] Kvetch, it means complain. Complaint.

Trey: [00:09:53] Oh, so what we were literally just doing in the last segment. Cool. Got it. Continue.

Chelsey: [00:09:58] Yes. It takes a Kvetcher to know a Kvetcher. So are you ready?

Trey: [00:10:02] You know what, Chelsey I'm ready. Who's first this week.

Chelsey: [00:10:04] Am I first? I'm first, Ahh, I'm first. Okay. I don't know why this always gets so scary, but it does

VOICEOVER: [00:10:10] Review That Review.

Chelsey: [00:10:15] Okay. I am reading a review tonight from or whatever time of day it is for you. I I'm reading this review from TripAdvisor of Spa Castle written by Kim Y it is a one-star review and that's all you're going to hear for right now.

Trey: [00:10:37] Wait, let me get my note pad ready. I want to be able to take notes

Chelsey: [00:10:40] Oh yeah, take notes.

Trey: [00:10:41] Okay. I'm ready. I'm ready.

Chelsey: [00:10:42] Okay.

" On Friday night, August 23rd, 2019, when I was standing at the Spa Castle's entrance, the security staff stopped me and just reached into my bag behind me without my permission. Yup. He was grabbing me from behind saying, 'oh, what's this, what's that?' And then takes my bag and reaches in there without my authorization, which is a violation of his duty as a security officer. When he reached into my shopping bag and pulls out my water bottle and says, 'you can't bring this in.'

I walked away to a distance in a corner and proceeded to drink the water. The poor professionalism came in when, while I was drinking the water bottle, the same security officer began hollering at me screaming. 'Yeah. Yeah, drink that shit yeah. Drink that shit.' As he was bobbing his head up and down and the clerk staffs continued giggling, staring and laughing at me for drinking my water bottle in the corner instead of throwing it out. Consequently. the employees were extremely derogatory and unprofessional, and I can't help, but report this incident to the manager before I exited the premises.

What was surprising is that the manager did not seem to be aware of any employee misconduct at all, which led me to believe that. The security staffs, poor choice of words and immaturity at Spa Castle was considered acceptable towards customers. As a result of this matter, do not go here. Management needs to be corrected and improved. The pools are also not cleaned. And I found feces wiped all over the basin and shower head area. I nearly threw up thinking it was a similar representation of the clean hot Springs in Japan. I've been to Japan too. And the quality was nowhere as close to being good as compared to Japan's, written in Japanese, hot Springs.

My take home message. Here is not a great place to decompress.

Trey: [00:12:56] Wow.

Chelsey: [00:13:01] I got emotional there. I think I was near tears at one point, to be honest, I was really feeling Kim Y's enthusiasm here.

Trey: [00:13:08] Well, first of all, it's my first impression here is like, Like at first, I was like, what they like were grabbing into the bag. That's so crazy. And then I was like, okay, so this is about like being stopped for the water bottle, which I guess is a policy. You can't bring that inside, like getting on an airplane or something.

Chelsey: [00:13:23] Yeah.

Trey: [00:13:24] And then out of nowhere, PS, the pool's dirty. And then she just had, or they, have to just say the word fecal matter or feces. It's like, Eww,

Chelsey: [00:13:34] Oh my God. I mean, first of all, Kim Y, if nothing else has a lot of passion, I will give her that. You know, I think that she is very, very passionate on the subject. and I also think that. She likes, she has character dialogue in here, you know, like they, yeah, yeah. Drink that shit. Drink that shit. Like th th like this took me on a journey.

You know what I mean?

Trey: [00:13:59] Did she spell out? S H I T

Chelsey: [00:14:02] she didn't. She had a good question. She did put S H asterisk T every time she wrote shit. but she did write out feces. Just in case you're wondering

Trey: [00:14:15] how old do you think Kim is?

Chelsey: [00:14:18] Ooh, that's a good question. I think Kim, I feel like Kim's like in her late twenties, but she thinks she knows everything. You know, she's like one of those late twenties and it's like, I've lived a life,

Trey: [00:14:30] Well, I think to me, like what I keep thinking about Okay. I've personally never been to Spa Castle,

Chelsey: [00:14:36] Same.

Trey: [00:14:37] But I've heard of it.

Chelsey: [00:14:38] Yeah, of course.

Trey: [00:14:39] Is that a policy that you cannot bring outside water in?

Chelsey: [00:14:43] I mean, I just went to a Korean Spa this past weekend for my sister's birthday and it is a policy and my sister drank her water while we were on line waiting to go in

Trey: [00:14:54] Are there signs that say like no...

Chelsey: [00:14:56] Yeah, there are signs there's like no outside food, no outside water. They're going to be checking bags. So like, I don't really think that this complaint by Kim Y is, I mean, the, the feces is a bit disturbing, but like let's just kind of dissect it piece by piece.

So the, just the water thing, even though she was saying it was such drama, I mean, look at the drama. Like "on Friday night, August 23rd, 2019." I mean, there's clearly a lot of drama. It's like she's, um, It's almost like she's writing a police report, you know, I bet you, she did. She sent this in to the police also. cause that's what it feels like, but yeah, the first part of it with the water, I feel like I'm not really caring that. I mean, I don't like that they were bullying her. It sounds like maybe

Trey: [00:15:38] Well, that's my question about her age, because I've never been to a Korean Spa as of today. Do you go through like security?

Like do you go through like a metal scanner or do they literally just like you slide your bag on the table and they like, look to see if there's a water bottle.

Chelsey: [00:15:54] Correct mean, I don't, again, like I've never been to Spa Castle, but yes. You know, this weekend when I went to, this Korean spa. Yeah. You had, you like checked in, you, you know, gave all of your initial information and then you walked over to like, An area before you enter and there's a security person there, and they're just the person that's looking in your bag to be like, do you have food? Do you have, you know, water? And they saw my sister's water bottle. And they were like, oh, you have that. She's like, yeah, it's empty. And they were like, oh, no problem. Because they have at this spa, like a lot of water stations where you can fill up a water bottle. So the idea is you can bring a water bottle. It just has to be empty.

Trey: [00:16:33] Well, that's how it is at the airport too, because David, my husband, always has a water bottle and you, he can go through TSA with an empty water bottle.

Chelsey: [00:16:41] Totally. So I think that the water issue is like, Yeah. I mean, I think they were making fun of her because there's probably a plethora of water on the other side, perhaps she could have, I don't know, watered a plant. I still don't think it's right that they bullied her. If she wants to drink the water, she should drink the water. but I do think that, like, it sounds like it's a policy and Kim Y is just not willing to accept the policy.

Trey: [00:17:04] That is absolutely occurring to me. And I was also wondering like with the age question, like. are there signs that are like, this is our policy? And then she was like trying to slip it in, like, because the way she words, Kim words, this is that they like reach into her bag, their bag, without consent, but it's like, you're going through security. Like, I guess I'm questioning.

Chelsey: [00:17:28] she says, "I was standing at the Spa Castle entrance. The security staff stopped me, reached in to my bag behind me, without my permission. He was grabbing me from behind saying, 'oh, what's this, what's that?' And then takes my bag and reaches in there without my authorization, which is a violation."

I don't know, like, I don't know what the security lineup is. It sounds like you're right. Maybe there was like a security desk and she just assumed she could walk right by it. And the guy was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. You have a water bottle. I need to check your bag.

Trey: [00:17:59] that's what I think as well. I'm wondering if, Kim is trying to illustrate a victimness to a policy of like, you, you have to go through security before you enter. I mean, we'll never actually have a solution to that. But to me, it, I also agree that it seems like Kim is really attached to not liking something. That's a policy.

Chelsey: [00:18:20] Yeah, good point. I think it's worthy of, of noting that this could be a policy that she just that, or they, Kim Y doesn't agree with.

Trey: [00:18:28] but if they were literally reaching into the bag without acknowledgement. That's wrong,

Chelsey: [00:18:33] That's the thing too. Like, I don't want to completely write off the experience because even if it is policy, obviously there's a million ways of doing things and.

You know, the reach behind and all that seems a little bit shady. So I don't know, I'm questioning that part of it.

Trey: [00:18:47] I want to just also say here that like my Karen-Dar is going off.

Chelsey: [00:18:51] with the manager!

Trey: [00:18:52] Well, it's a little Kareny, especially being like I spoke to the manager. And the manager didn't think anything was wrong,

Chelsey: [00:18:59] Yeah!

Trey: [00:18:59] But then also like throwing in that the pool is dirty and throwing in this, not as good as, pools and spas in Japan that they've actually been to.

And also the whole feces thing. It's like, wait, what? Or it's all like a side noise, like you're upset that you were harassed. then you're just throwing in a bunch of complaints at the end, which makes me think that. I don't know that I would trust this point of view.

Chelsey: [00:19:24] Yeah, I hear you. I mean, I think you're right. I think that they spent a lot of real estate talking about everything up until the point when they started talking. Like I was honestly based on the beginning of the review. I don't know if you were thinking this too, but as I was reading it, I was surprised that they actually went in because from the way that they made it sound, it was like I got to the security desk. It was such a horrendous experience. I was emotionally scarred. I immediately wrote this down and went to the police department and dropped it off. they didn't really say at any point,

that they went in right. Like it's, to me, it was like, it felt like the order of events where, like I came in, I was harassed. I drank my water. I was harassed. The more, like I finally got through. And I was like, I want to speak to the manager immediately. So to me, I'm like, I'm not even in the spa yet. I can't even go past this. I'm just like, I need to speak to a manager. And then I have to the manager and the manager doesn't even care. And now I'm like even more disturbed because the manager doesn't care about the lack of security here. Right? And so I'm saying, because of all this, I wouldn't go here, which all that is like nothing to do with the spa itself. It's just the management, what they're saying, the management needs to be improved. And then there's the last, like three sentences, is when they're like, the pools are not cleaned. And I found feces, wiped all over the basin in the shower. And I nearly threw up thinking about it,

Trey: [00:20:47] Yeah. Also I feel like the security people laughing about like, yeah, I think saying, drink that shit is inappropriate, but I wonder if they were just trying to be like, yeah. Drink ha ha like they're trying to be like,

Chelsey: [00:20:59] Drink that shit, go for it.

Trey: [00:21:01] You're so annoying. Like you tried to sneak this in and like, you can't.So, drink it. Do you think there's any value or unique information from this review?

Chelsey: [00:21:10] I mean, I, I'm not gonna lie. I feel like the feces thing kind of threw me for a loop and I would definitely call and say, you know, just want to make sure that this isn't an issue and that the bathrooms will be very clean, especially during times of COVID.

I mean, this was written in 2019. but other than that, I agree. not a lot, but I will say that, the spelling and grammar. It looks really strong. I mean, they even had a word written in Japanese characters with the, hot Springs definition in parentheses. So I know you can't see this review, but I just,

like, I wouldn't be surprised if, if Kim Y had an Ivy league degree, like that's, that's how well. This is coming off. Not that I'm saying that, you know, that makes this review truthful or valuable, but I'm just saying worthy of note because it is something we consider.

Trey: [00:21:58] Well, on that note, do you think they're being shady or do you think they're being honest? I am questioning the, honesty here. I don't know. It feels all a little bit colored.

Chelsey: [00:22:10] Yeah. I definitely agree. I think my, my shady-dar is going up definitely a bit. I, I don't like to say that I don't believe someone who says that they were attacked, that's like a extreme language to use, but I'm definitely feeling like with a lot of the comments, uh, I think this person's bias and, and with that in mind, then.

Is this a common experience? Do we think, do you think other people run into this problem, a lot

Trey: [00:22:35] Well, if it's a policy that you cannot bring outside beverage and food in, which maybe we are making up. Maybe that's not policy for Spa Castle, but it's going to be common. You can't bring it in. And if you think that you are special and that you can, then, you know, that's something wrong with you.


Chelsey: [00:22:53] I agree. Should I look up the policy? I'm curious.

Trey: [00:22:57] Yeah,

Chelsey: [00:22:57] Let's keep discussing while I do this.

Trey: [00:23:00] What about, um, humor? Do you think it was entertaining? I don't know. I mean, I was entertained by like the random dropping of the word feces, but like, I was not like positively entertained and I, it also just felt so like, They're trying to just heap a bunch of negativity into the review because they're so upset. They're wanting to like punish Spa Castle.

Chelsey: [00:23:23] I agree. But I think if I'm trying to take all of my bias aside and just be the most, like, was that, like, if I read this at a party, would people be entertained? I would say it's entertaining. Like she takes us on a journey for sure.

Trey: [00:23:37] True.

Chelsey: [00:23:37] You know, this could be an episode of SVU, by the way that she writes it.

So like, I think that it was quite entertaining. For me, this was pretty much a cold read and I was quite entertained. And in that time I also did find the food and drink policy for Spa Castle, and it clearly says " no outside food or beverages are allowed inside. Guests must discard or finish any food or beverage prior to entering the facilities. Spa Castle will not store any food or beverages. No exceptions. "

Trey: [00:24:10] All right. So that's kind of what I was suspecting.

Chelsey: [00:24:13] Yeah, I just wanted to do it, do our due diligence, you know, just the made sure we weren't judging.

Trey: [00:24:19] Well, I wanna, let me ask my absolute favorite question.

Chelsey: [00:24:23] Yeah.

Trey: [00:24:24] If you were Kim Y's grandmother, would you hang this review on the fridge? Do you think that you're empathizing with Kim? What do you think? What's the impact.

Chelsey: [00:24:33] Oof, It's like, I want to say it would hang into my fridge just because like grammar and the, you know, just, it looks like a beautiful document. Just the way I didn't even know some of these commas were appropriate, but they were, we have quotation marks, you know, it looks good, but would I be proud of, Kim Y for this review? Probably not.

Trey: [00:24:56] Yeah, no, I don't think it's a, it's definitely not a deal breaker to me

Chelsey: [00:25:01] Yeah.

Trey: [00:25:01] And no, I don't empathize.

Chelsey: [00:25:03] Yeah, I wouldn't not go to Spa Castle. I mean, I would maybe call about the fecal matter, but I wouldn't not go based on this review completely.

Do we think that we're ready to crown it?

Trey: [00:25:16] I think I'm ready.

Chelsey: [00:25:17] Alright!

Trey: [00:25:17] Okay. So Chelsey and I each have our own set of one to five crown cards. So in an effort to be fair with our rating and in order to not be influenced by one another, we will simultaneously reveal our rating.

Chelsey: [00:25:33] Oh my Goodness,

VOICEOVER: [00:25:35] The Queens are Tabulating.

Trey: [00:25:37] Alright Chelsey. Are you ready?

Chelsey: [00:25:39] Okay. I'm ready.

VOICEOVER: [00:25:41] Total Score

Chelsey: [00:25:49] Wow!

Trey: [00:25:49] Whoa! So I am holding up my one crown card.

Chelsey: [00:25:55] And I gave it three crowns!

Trey: [00:25:57] Okay. Explain your three crowns honey.

Chelsey: [00:25:59] Okay. I know I was really stuck between two and three. I wasn't considering one personally, just because I felt like. It was well-written. , it did take us on a journey. There was a narrative, there was an emotional attachment. This was like, uh, did feel like a real person, not a bot to me. how's could I defend myself? My goodness. I was entertained by Kim Y. I did think it was like, kind of funny and that's it. That's why I gave her three crowns. Everything else I detected because I don't believe her, but it was entertaining.

Trey: [00:26:35] And for me it giving it one crown, I just felt like if, if you're going to an establishment that has a strict policy. You have to honor the policy. And if your bag was behind you, then you were maybe trying to sneak it in, which is like not adhering to what the policy is. and then I just felt like Kim was angry and wanted to get even.

So they spoke to the manager, they went and left a negative review, and then they just threw in that there was feces in order to like really have a negative impact. So one crown Kim.

Chelsey: [00:27:08] All right. I buy that. Maybe I should have gone with two.

Trey: [00:27:12] No, no, no. You're you are you're score is great.

Chelsey: [00:27:15] Thank you. Thank you for making me feel confident. That was a lot though. I did get emotional when I was reading that just

Trey: [00:27:23] I know I'm like steamed up.

Chelsey: [00:27:25] I am steamed up too. I think that I need a little bit of like a pallet cleanse.

Trey: [00:27:30] Okay, yeah, me too. So let's take a quick break. And then when we come back, we can play with Meryl Streep before we go into my review.

Chelsey: [00:27:37] Okay. I love it. BRB.

Trey: [00:27:39] BRB

VOICEOVER: [00:27:43] hold your crown. We'll be right back.

Trey: [00:27:54] Oh, wow. Hey Queens. Look, we know that it can get super annoying to constantly be asked to rate and review, rate and review. Look aside from the fact that our podcast is literally all about reviews. The reason we are asking is because it's important for us to know what you, the listener are thinking of the show so far.

What do you love? What do you want less of now, as you know, review that review as an independent podcast, which means we gather all of our metrics based on what our community is telling us. We have made it easier to rate and review us with a super cute hyperlink, henny. It's also just one little click away in the show description below. We honestly, really do appreciate it. Now back to the show!


All right. Chels, Chels it's game time. It's time to take a little spin on the Meryl-Go-Round!

VOICEOVER: [00:28:54] I don't feel like an Icon. Most of the days, I feel like I can't!

That's with an a.

Chelsey: [00:29:02] Okay. Here's the deal, Trey and I each pick a rotten scathing pithy one-star zinger. And with 30 seconds on the clock, we'll take turns, trying to recite the zinger in as many genres as possible...

Trey: [00:29:15] ...just like queen Meryl, who does it all!

Chelsey: [00:29:17] ... before the clock runs out.

Trey: [00:29:18] All right. So my, oh, this is one of my favorites. I didn't even realize. Okay. so my one star singer is from Amazon reviews. And this is for Thomas and Friends: Halloween Adventure, DVD, the review as it is blankly written is, one star. I want to cancel this item, that's the subject.

And then the review says, I dislike this DVD and I do not need it anymore.

Chelsey: [00:29:46] Okay,

VOICEOVER: [00:29:47] 3, 2, 1, Go!

Chelsey: [00:29:53] Shakespeare.

Trey: [00:29:54] I do dislike this DVD and I do not need any more.

Chelsey: [00:29:59] Adult Film

Trey: [00:30:00] Oww, I do dislike this DVD and I do not need it any more. Owwww.

Chelsey: [00:30:05] Southern.

Trey: [00:30:06] Hey boy, I do dislike this Dee Vee Day and I do not need it at any mo!!.

Chelsey: [00:30:14] Yankee.

Trey: [00:30:14] Oh, no. Uh, oh, um, I do dislike this DVD. I do not need it anymorah!.

VOICEOVER: [00:30:20] 3, 2, 1. That's all!

Chelsey: [00:30:24] PopStar! Ooh. Oh, okay.

Trey: [00:30:25] How many was that?

Chelsey: [00:30:26] That was great. That was four, four is good, Trey!

Trey: [00:30:30] That's pretty good for me actually.

Chelsey: [00:30:32] Yeah, that was great. I guess it's my turn. Is that what this means

Trey: [00:30:37] Yeah. Four? Okay. That's Okay.

Chelsey: [00:30:39] I'm that's okay. We can do this. So I'm going to read, I'm reading as one star zinger from Rotten Tomatoes, for the Christopher Guest movie Mascots and yes, it's by M J F and they say should have been funnier.

Trey: [00:30:58] Ooof!

Chelsey: [00:30:59] Should have been funnier.

Trey: [00:31:02] All right. You ready?

Chelsey: [00:31:03] As ready as I'm going to be.

Trey: [00:31:05] Okay.

VOICEOVER: [00:31:05] 3, 2, 1, go!

Trey: [00:31:09] Opera diva

Chelsey: [00:31:11] Should have beeeeen funnier!

Trey: [00:31:14] Lifetime movie

Chelsey: [00:31:16] Should have been funnier

Trey: [00:31:18] Yankee.

Chelsey: [00:31:21] It should have been funnier.

Trey: [00:31:23] Pop star

Chelsey: [00:31:23] It.. Should Have



Trey: [00:31:27] Musical theater.

Chelsey: [00:31:28] It. Should have been. Funnier!

Trey: [00:31:33] Not Jazz Hands!. How dare you!. Shakespeare.

Chelsey: [00:31:37] It should have been funny.

VOICEOVER: [00:31:39] 3, 2, 1.

Trey: [00:31:39] You're you're so much better at this.

VOICEOVER: [00:31:41] That's All..

Chelsey: [00:31:42] I mean, that was not, iambic pentamiter, but I don't know what that was.

Trey: [00:31:46] Chelsey, you got six. That means,

Chelsey: [00:31:49] oh my goodness.

Trey: [00:31:50] That means, You're the winner.

Chelsey: [00:31:51] Wow. I'm so honored.

Trey: [00:31:54] Take a bow!

Chelsey: [00:31:55] Thank you. It was an honor to be nominated. I can't believe it. Um, wow!

Trey: [00:32:00] You're really good at that.

Chelsey: [00:32:01] Oh thank you!

Trey: [00:32:02] Like consistently you're like better, which is fine. It's not a competition except

Chelsey: [00:32:07] It's not a competition!

Trey: [00:32:08] Except it's a competition, but it's not,

Chelsey: [00:32:10] It's a little bit.

Trey: [00:32:11] But it doesn't really matter. All right. So let's get back into the real meat and potatoes.

VOICEOVER: [00:32:15] Review that review.

Chelsey: [00:32:21] Okay. We are back from that game break. And it's your turn Trey.

What's your review from this week?

Trey: [00:32:27] All right. So I also have a review from TripAdvisor. Was it was yours TripAdvisor. TripAdvisor? Yes. Okay. this is,

Chelsey: [00:32:36] it's a one dot?

Trey: [00:32:37] It's a one, that's a one dot. Yep. this is from Mark15780.

Chelsey: [00:32:43] Mark15780. Okay.

Trey: [00:32:47] I wonder what that is, even...

Chelsey: [00:32:49] it's like his zip code. I don't know.

Trey: [00:32:51] Maybe, maybe, actually okay. And this is for, The Hard Rock Resort in Atlantic City.

Chelsey: [00:32:58] Oh my God I'm familiar

Trey: [00:32:59] Me too actually. So here we go. One dot. Buffet. All time worst buffet I have ever had in AC. They had no Italian. Their only carved meat was chickens cut in half. No beef.

The lo mein was ice, cold cardboard worms, the sweet and sour chicken. I was afraid I would break all my crowns, the seafood bar, if you like raw, I guess was okay. I had cold shrimp. The seasoning was all wrong. It wasn't spicy is tasted sour. The waiter seen three plates of food, not touched and said he would tell the chef. Chef? For this garbage? The desserts were not bad.

Tiramisu was good. Cream puffs, small, but good. They had a Sundae bar. The macaroons were hard as a rock. The red cake was sour. Something. Question mark question, mark. Terrible buffet that I will never ever go to again. Full price for terrible cold food with no selection. Manager, spelled MGR, offered me nothing to correct it. Didn't want my money back, but I wanted to tell the quote unquote chef, he was a crap cook. I was a restaurant manager, many years. This wasn't food, it was garbage. I doubt the seagulls would eat. Save your $29.95. Go to 100 times better. McD has beef. Something Hard Rock did not. Oh, sorry.

McD has beef. Something Hard Rock did not. Gross. Terrible. They list a customer. Tossed my Rock Royalty Card in the urinal.


Chelsey: [00:35:11] Wow. Wow. Mike, Mike.

Trey: [00:35:14] Mark. Mark,

Chelsey: [00:35:15] Mark, Mark. Sorry.

Trey: [00:35:17] Do not name him wrong. He will not like it.

Chelsey: [00:35:21] Mark. I, my apologies.

It's obviously it's Mark AC. Um, that was a lot that was wild. That was quite a ride. there were a lot of things that Mark told us about his life. I like when he, he let us know that that eating the food could break all of his crowns. So now we know that, you know, he's probably has like a bit of a sweet tooth and. He, he had a lot of cavities in his day. Cause now he has a lot of crowns. So now we know that about him. I liked that he wanted to let us know, you know?

Trey: [00:35:53] Oh, look at you speaking like a true dentist's daughter.

Chelsey: [00:35:56] You know. I just appreciated the dental comment, but more than more than anything, a lot of spelling errors.

Trey: [00:36:03] Oh my God. I couldn't even read the sentence correctly.

Chelsey: [00:36:05] I mean, really like just left and right. All kinds of spelling errors, all kinds of shade being thrown around. How was I-talian spelled, was that a creative choice on your part?

Trey: [00:36:17] It was! It just says they had no Italian.

Chelsey: [00:36:19] Okay. I just, just asking. I did like the choice though. I liked it.,

Trey: [00:36:24] Thank

Chelsey: [00:36:24] cold schrimp, like. I don't, I'm allergic to shellfish and a shell shell fish, hard word to say. and I don't know that much about it, but isn't like shrimp sometimes shrimp is cold, right? Like a shrimp cocktail.

Trey: [00:36:37] It says the seafood bar. If you like raw, I guess was okay. I had cold shrimp. The seasoning was all wrong.

So I don't know if that's related,

Chelsey: [00:36:45] I mean like a Raw bar is usually like on ice, like

Trey: [00:36:48] correct.

Chelsey: [00:36:49] Like shellfish on ice. Okay. So, our issue with that wasn't that it was cold. It was that it was under seasoned?

Trey: [00:36:55] Well, he says I had cold shrimp. The seasoning was all wrong. It wasn't spicy is tasted sour.

Chelsey: [00:37:01] Ooh. Yuck. Sour shrimp sounds really gross.

Trey: [00:37:04] Actually. That's so true. Yeah. But you know what? I just recognized. They, they like have shared with us, aside from their, their crowns, from liking sweets, they were a restaurant manager.

Chelsey: [00:37:17] Yes.

Trey: [00:37:18] And they say that McDonald's would be 100 times better, which is like, I feel like if, if you worked in the restaurant business, you would maybe have an air about fast food being bad.

Chelsey: [00:37:30] Yeah, I agree. I think that you would have an air. I don't know, there was something about when he said that he was. A restaurant manager and he's in the area, like my, like, Ooh, are you a competitor? Like radar went up. Cause I was like, oh, you're a restaurant manager. Like where are you a restaurant manager? Like just seemed a little bit out of left field. He didn't say in the area, I'm assuming.

Trey: [00:37:51] Well, he's from, it does because it's TripAdvisor. It does say that Mark's profiles from Philadelphia.

Chelsey: [00:37:58] Yeah. So he's from the area

Trey: [00:37:59] Very close.

Chelsey: [00:38:00] Yeah, that's the area. So I don't know that that kind of rubbed me the wrong way that he said that I was like, oh, are you, is this an inside job for a second? I'm not saying I'm not accusing Mark, but I was questioning in that moment. Why he included that detail. It felt a little. Left field also like what's his obsession with beef.

Trey: [00:38:21] Yeah. I really thought about that too. They like, they really like beef. They're definitely not vegan.

Chelsey: [00:38:25] He really, I mean, he, and also he listed quite a number of selections to say that there were no selections, I think was a bit of an overstep by Mark. There were clearly a lot of selections, whether or not they were good selections or

Trey: [00:38:40] his definition of good

Chelsey: [00:38:42] or his choice. I think he clearly has a sweet tooth and the only thing he had positive to say was the sweets. I mean, he, he dissed macaroons, but that's not at the top of the dessert food chain for me.

Trey: [00:38:55] Yeah.

Chelsey: [00:38:55] What about the urinal comment?

Trey: [00:38:57] yeah, that's just so specific randomly. Like, why would you toss it in the urinal and not the toilet or the trashcan, but like the urinal of all places.

Chelsey: [00:39:07] Cause it's like, it's not going to flush and clog the toilet, but it's going to have to sit there and people are going to piss on it. Is that the idea like,

Trey: [00:39:13] or maybe someone

Chelsey: [00:39:14] Let people piss on your shit,

Trey: [00:39:15] Maybe someone smart would be like, Ooh, I'm gonna see if this has a lot of points.

Chelsey: [00:39:20] Yeah, but then I got to like fish through piss to get it.

Trey: [00:39:22] It's Atlantic City!

Chelsey: [00:39:23] Good point, Trey Good points. I mean, are there any other areas that we've neglected to


Trey: [00:39:35] I mean, do you find it valuable? I mean, I, you know, I actually appreciate that Mark qualified that they understand. Restaurant management. I kind of find it valuable. I don't know that it would represent my view, but I definitely am feeling a little bit of an impact. I do feel like I'm sitting here thinking maybe this is not the most top tier, buffet

Chelsey: [00:39:58] yeah, a couple things like one RIP buffets.

Trey: [00:40:01] oh my gosh

Chelsey: [00:40:02] Just for like a moment.

Trey: [00:40:03] Wait, I, David and I went to. A photography convention for him in Vegas, like literally right before lockdown. And it was my first time in Vegas. And I love a buffet. Even pointing out, like save the $29.95, even paying $30 for a buffet. It's like, it's just so, something about it is so epic to me.

Chelsey: [00:40:23] Agreed. it's always like you leave feeling absolutely ill. So that part of me is like, okay, maybe it's a good thing that we're moving away from the buffet. It means also possibility of the buffet survives this who knows, but was it impactful? I will say yes in the fact that I'm quite queasy. And if I read. Really any reviews that like say the shrimp was sour, but like it wasn't supposed to be sour shrimp, like, you know, like, I don't know that it makes my stomach turn a little bit. Cause I'm already queasy. When I think about a buffet like, Ooh, do I trust you? And now I'm like,

Trey: [00:41:02] especially the... Oh, this is also another misspelling. There's there's the grammar is really bad. It's really bad. But he says the "lo Meim", M E I M was ice cold cardboard worms. That's just so funny to me.

Chelsey: [00:41:17] Eww, yeah, he was very descriptive in his words. I will give him that

Trey: [00:41:21] Wait, but, when I think of a cardboard worm, I think of it being 2D, which is really funny.

Chelsey: [00:41:25] Yeah. I wouldn't have thought cardboard and worm like would go together.

Trey: [00:41:29] Right. But I guess like cold cardboard and

Chelsey: [00:41:31] cold cardboard. I don't know. I've not spent a lot of time eating cold cardboards. I can't really attest to it.

Trey: [00:41:36] I'm not a big lo mein person anyway,

Chelsey: [00:41:38] Me neither. Okay.

Trey: [00:41:39] All right. What about like did we cover humor? Is it humorous or entertaining? That's kind of,

Chelsey: [00:41:44] I mean, it was kind of funny. Like, I'll give them a little humor, was like, you know, again, like the word choices, the worm. Okay, cool.

the detail,

Trey: [00:41:55] I think I'm ready. Honestly. I think I can.

Chelsey: [00:41:56] I'm ready.

Trey: [00:41:57] Ready

Chelsey: [00:41:57] I think I'm ready to do it.

VOICEOVER: [00:41:59] The Queens Are Tabulating.

Trey: [00:42:04] All right, Chels, you ready?

Chelsey: [00:42:07] I am ready. I feel like yes.

VOICEOVER: [00:42:13] Total Score.

Trey: [00:42:15] Okay. So I'm holding up four crowns and Chelsey's holding up three crowns. So I actually had three crowns first, and then I put it to four because I wanted to say three because it's sort of middle of the road. It's sort of like, whatever, but honestly, actually it does make me question. Like, I don't think I'm going to want to. It does leave me with an impression that the, the buffet is not going to be the best buffet experience possible. so that's why I said four, because I do think it's having more of a lasting impression than like, don't bring a water bottle in here. Why'd you say three?

Chelsey: [00:42:46] I know I was said three and then I was like measuring it against the first, but I just think that they're very different. We've lost quite a few points here, obviously for grammar and just, The way that it was written and how clear it was. Um, also we lost some points for me. I know it was an issue for you, but like the assist, the manager, I don't know. It felt a little bit like, why are we bringing this up or. I just didn't like the way Mark said that. Uh, also I felt like he had a lot of things that were specific, like his no beef thing. that was a real issue for him. Might not be an issue for everybody. So

Trey: [00:43:16] Good point!

Chelsey: [00:43:17] Those are the reasons why it took some points off, but I agree. I did feel it was impactful in the sense that my stomach got a little bit queasy and I pretty sure I wouldn't eat at this buffet.

Trey: [00:43:26] Excellent.

Chelsey: [00:43:28] Wow. I think we learned a lot today.

Trey: [00:43:30] I think we learned a lot to that. I agree with you. I think I'm malfunctioning. Um, I, I also did learn a lot. Honestly, I'm going to take away from today's episode that like, I am not above an organization's policy. If there is a policy and I want to partake in what they're offering, I'm going to have to honor it.

Chelsey: [00:43:54] Yeah. I learned that apparently there are Men Are Working signs that allegedly that's a thing. I learned that, I also learned that Mark has a lot of crowns, so maybe like my dad could try to hit him up as a potential patient.

Trey: [00:44:11] Yeah!

Chelsey: [00:44:11] That would be useful, you know, my dad does crowns. So Mark, if you're listening, hit him up. Dr. Craig Donn DDS. This is not an ad.

Trey: [00:44:19] It also really does make me want to go to Atlantic City.

Chelsey: [00:44:22] True. We should go.

Trey: [00:44:24] I want to go,

Chelsey: [00:44:25] We could do Review That Review in Atlantic City

Trey: [00:44:28] at the Borgata,

Chelsey: [00:44:29] at the Borg.... Where else?

Trey: [00:44:31] We're So classy, we'd be at the Borgata.

Chelsey: [00:44:33] of course, we would. All right. We did it. Trey. Do you have any personal reviews this week? Who are you going to induct into My Royal Highness?

VOICEOVER: [00:44:43] My Royal Highness.

Trey: [00:44:44] Alright, so I've thought a lot about this and, my induction for My Royal Highness this week. Has got to be my very close friend, Lucinda, you know, to stay upbeat and happy, Lucinda and I met in high school. We went to boarding school together she met her husband at my wedding.

Chelsey: [00:45:02] Wow!

Trey: [00:45:04] I have to bring up.

Chelsey: [00:45:05] Humblebrag.

Trey: [00:45:06] Lucinda, has been dealing with a parent who is aging and who, was diagnosed with Parkinson's and, um, is dealing with dementia and she has totally pivoted and created an online, app and community called iAlly. And it's for millennials who suddenly are thrust into a care-taking position and it's entire resource community. For creating and hosting support. And, you know, I honestly can't think of anyone who is more deserving of five stars for taking life as it shows up and pivoting and like helping other people.

So Lucinda is absolutely. My Royal Highness.

Chelsey: [00:45:53] Wow.

Trey: [00:45:54] What about, what about you Chels, Chels?

Chelsey: [00:45:56] God, that was such a good one. I just feel like, I don't know if this is like super lame to induct, like my nephews and my niece, but that's just been my experience for the past week. I've been hanging out with them and I just, I really enjoy hanging out with them and they, I think you can learn a lot by. just listening to kids and sort of the, I don't know, untarnished joy that they can have with life. So for their untarnished joy and the joy they bring to my life, I'm going to induct a three for one, cause you can't pick one cause that's just wrong. Right. To, , my nephew Isler, my niece, Sherry and my nephew. Trey

Trey: [00:46:38] Well, I think Trey has a wonderful name.

Chelsey: [00:46:40] I know, I had a feeling you might.. think that.

Trey: [00:46:42] Ah, that's really sweet.

Chelsey: [00:46:44] Yeah!

Trey: [00:46:44] Okay. Wait, before we go, do we have time for one Royal Review?

Chelsey: [00:46:48] Oh, absolutely. Let's do it.

Trey: [00:46:50] Okay. Yay. I love this part. All right. So every so often we like to feature one of our very, own reviews for this very podcast from listeners like you

Chelsey: [00:46:59] But a review from one of our listeners isn't any ordinary review. It's a.

Theme Song: [00:47:04] Baby, it's time for some Royal Reviews!

Trey: [00:47:12] All right. So this week's Royal Review is from a user on apple podcasts named MG1120. Five stars.

Chelsey: [00:47:23] oh my goodness.

Trey: [00:47:24] The subject is bring it on Queens. this is just what we need after over a year of COVID quarantine. So excited for this podcast.

Chelsey: [00:47:35] Aw, wow. That's...thank you. That was...

Trey: [00:47:39] that's so nice, right?

Chelsey: [00:47:40] Yeah.

Trey: [00:47:41] I love that. Well, thank you. M G 1120, so many numbers on this episode.

Chelsey: [00:47:46] Yeah. And if you want to be featured as one of our Royal Reviews, then make sure you leave us a review right now.

Trey: [00:47:53] And if you're still here and listening and you hate the pod, you can hate review us with five stars. That'll really get our goat.

All right. So we did it queen that's another round in the books.

Chelsey: [00:48:04] Wow, we did it. Thank you guys so much for joining us today. If you like, what you heard, tell a friend.

Trey: [00:48:10] If you didn't like what you heard telling enemy.

If you want to lodge your own complaint, submit your own review or share with the world who you would induct for My Royal Highness. Leave us a voicemail at 850-REVIEW0

Chelsey: [00:48:24] You can also follow us on all the socials @TheReviewQueens. I'm @ChelseyBD

Trey: [00:48:30] and I'm @TreyGerrald. That's two R's. Become a member of the Royal Court by joining our Patrion at, you can also watch live clips from our recording sessions on YouTube.

Chelsey: [00:48:43] And remember, ignore the haters, you're a queen

Trey: [00:48:47] gender non-specific queen.

Chelsey: [00:48:48] Bye

Trey: [00:48:49] Bye Yall!

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.



bottom of page