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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 3: "Valley of the Dolls Audiobook / Times Square Olive Garden"

Updated: Sep 17, 2021



Transcript of Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald Episode 3 "Valley of the Dolls Audiobook / Times Square Olive Garden" for the differently abled and those who prefer to read.


Review That Review with Chelsey Donn and Trey Gerrald

Episode 3

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Who's views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!


TREY: [00:00:30] Hi!

CHELSEY: [00:00:31] Hi! Oh My God. I love that.

TREY: [00:00:33] I just, um, interrupted in the jingle to show this beautiful lion that I bought from Home Goods today. She's wearing a crown anyway. Uh, welcome to Review That Review. This is episode three of the podcast dedicated to reviewing...

CHELSEY: [00:00:49] ...Reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious, scathing, and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

TREY: [00:01:01] Mmm-hmm, Yep. That's true. And that's - speaking right then - was Chelsey Donn!

CHELSEY: [00:01:06] And that's Trey Gerrald.

TREY: [00:01:08] and together we're:

VOICEOVER: [00:01:10] The Review Queens!

CHELSEY: [00:01:14] How's her your crown today. Trey?

TREY: [00:01:16] You know, I opted for a Tiara. It just sort of felt right.

CHELSEY: [00:01:21] How's your week been?

TREY: [00:01:23] Wow! You know, honestly, it's been a really good week. I was fortunate to go visit my sister who lives in North Carolina.

CHELSEY: [00:01:32] That's right!

TREY: [00:01:32] She, yeah, she's very pregnant. She's due like in less than six weeks. And, um, her first child is about to become TWO! Well. He turns two in six weeks. So like her due date is literally, almost exactly his birthday.

CHELSEY: [00:01:47] Ugh!

TREY: [00:01:48] I know it's crazy.

CHELSEY: [00:01:49] That's scary. I hope they don't have the same birthday.

TREY: [00:01:51] Yeah. She also hopes that as well. And then my mom's birthday is like a week before, so she's also hoping like it doesn't land on that day as well. Uh, yeah. I actually had a good week. What about, like what about you? How was your week?

CHELSEY: [00:02:04] I had a pretty good week. I, you know, back in LA now as well. So back in my home turf and back to doing a little bit of my freelance work and I had to plan an eight year old's birthday party yesterday. So that was. Fun. Also, there was, um, a bit of a like olive oil spill. One of the kids knocked olive oil off the table. And so there was shattered glass everywhere, which was a nightmare, but also the olive oil was a nightmare as well. So...

TREY: [00:02:38] When you said olive oil. My first thought was like Shelley Duvall. In the Popeye's movie. Why?

CHELSEY: [00:02:45] What do you mean?

TREY: [00:02:46] You said olive oil and instead of..

CHELSEY: [00:02:48] Oh! Olive Oil!, like olive oil, the character "Olive Oil."

TREY: [00:02:51] Yeah, why did I think that?

CHELSEY: [00:02:53] I don't know. Cause maybe you're just not expecting me to say that? You were like, I don't know your mind was on Popeye.

TREY: [00:02:59] But I've never, like, I haven't thought of that movie in years.

CHELSEY: [00:03:02] I don't know, but it's like if you're going to spill glass terrible, but the olive oil really just took us over the edge.

TREY: [00:03:09] Yeah, well, it's a very precious...

CHELSEY: [00:03:10] ...yeah, it is. It's a precious item. It's not something you want to waste, but I'm fine. I'm good. All in all life is good. LA is beautiful. I can't really complain, but I'm sure we're gonna find a way to do it anyway.

TREY: [00:03:27] Oh, that sounds like a beautiful segue.

CHELSEY: [00:03:29] ...to...


VOICEOVER: [00:03:30] Lodge A Complaint.


TREY: [00:03:32] Oh boy.

CHELSEY: [00:03:33] All right.

TREY: [00:03:33] Okay.

CHELSEY: [00:03:33] Do you have something you want to complain about this week?

TREY: [00:03:36] Yeah. Okay. So I, this is sort of a tangent, but I am taking this platform to officially Lodge A Complaint against commercial jingle writers.

CHELSEY: [00:03:48] Mmmmm!

TREY: [00:03:48] Okay. So I, at my sister's house, I took on the task of making the Spanish rice when we were making, um, quesadilla night. And it was a box of Rice-A-Roni, which I don't, I think I've never in...

CHELSEY: [00:04:01] San Francisco Treat!

TREY: [00:04:01] ... my life, okay. Hello. I haven't purchased Rice-A-Roni like, I don't think ever actually but I. Like you just did. I was emptying the box and I was like, "Rice-A-Roni, San Francisco treat!" And then I could not get it out of my head.

CHELSEY: [00:04:19] Awwwwww!

TREY: [00:04:21] And then my sister, like I mentioned it, my sister and I have this like running joke because there's this commercial. I never saw it until I lived in New York, but It's like a bunch of people on a city bus and there's like a lady dressed up as like the opera, like diva with the braids and the crown. And there's like a lawyer. And then there's like a mom and whatever, but it's like, "When you have a structured settlement and you need cash now. Call J G Wentworth! Eight

BOTH!: [00:04:50] Eight seven seven Cash-NOW!

(laughing)

TREY: [00:04:53] Wait,

CHELSEY: [00:04:53] I remember that.

TREY: [00:04:54] Wait, You remember it from like New Jersey or like from LA.

CHELSEY: [00:04:58] I think it was an east coast thing, but I definitely remember it cause it would play like all the time.

TREY: [00:05:05] Have you ever heard the Carmel jingle?

CHELSEY: [00:05:07] Carmel? Remind me...

TREY: [00:05:08] It's like a car service. It really...

CHELSEY: [00:05:10] oh.

TREY: [00:05:10] ...happened in that moment right before like Uber and Lyft took off.

6, 6, 6, 6, 6 66.

CHELSEY: [00:05:18] Oh, no.

TREY: [00:05:18] Goin' to the airport, driving around town, shopping for a movie, the best rides in town, anywhere to go. Carmel is the number to know!," but it was like clearly a non-union commercial because none of the people are like, they just seem to kind of amateur like no judgment, like, and they like have to mouth the lyrics. And there's this one guy on the left probably like has never taken a dance class in his life. And it's just, It is like, chef's kiss so beautiful, but he like, can't it is just, gosh, I, when I think of Carmel, I think of this guy! Anyway. Oh, okay. Anyway, that's the whole point is I could not say stop singing the "San Francisco Treat."

It was stuck in my head, the entire trip. So I'm Lodging A Complaint because that's precious, like memory space, like it's so obnoxious to me and yes, it's fun. Haha. Like there's even like an Ellen standup joke. Like from back in the day before she had a talk show about like, you know, the Michelin man or like

CHELSEY: [00:06:21] By Mennen! Yeah.

TREY: [00:06:23] But boy, is that true? So I'm officially lodged that complaint all commercial jingle writers. You must do better except major kudos to our podcast, jingle

CHELSEY: [00:06:34] Which also gets stuck in my head all the time, but I don't care...

TREY: [00:06:36] but that's good. So good job, Joe Kinosian and great job, Natalie Weiss, the vocalist.

CHELSEY: [00:06:41] I guess the question is like, at what point do we change it up? Like we gotta give kudos to Rice-A-Roni, cause they've been holding on to that jingle for, God, decades.

TREY: [00:06:51] But you know who else has been holding onto it? ME! Cause I can't get it out of my head. And that is my complaint. Chelsey. Do you have any complaints you want to lodge?

CHELSEY: [00:07:00] I do. I have the complaint about false advertising on packaging.

TREY: [00:07:05] Whoa, we're both doing ads. Interesting.

CHELSEY: [00:07:08] Oh yeah. Interesting. I didn't think about that. Yeah, so I ...granted was at Rite-Aid so like expectations should be low. I wanted to get a little like present for the eight year old and there's this game, I think it's called the ladder toss or something where you have.

These two balls stay with me and they're attached by a string and you kind of launch it in the air. And the goal is to get the balls to wrap around one of the rings of the ladder, but not fall off. Okay. So I was like, oh, this is fun. It's getting hot out summer.

TREY: [00:07:47] Question...

CHELSEY: [00:07:48] ...nice outdoor game. Question?

TREY: [00:07:50] Is this like the like Rite-Aid branded, like $5 game situation.

CHELSEY: [00:07:55] Now, it was not Rite-Aid branded, however, it was 50% off.

TREY: [00:08:01] Okay. Keep going.

CHELSEY: [00:08:02] So maybe that should have cued me up, but I've played thi