Updated: Sep 17, 2021
Transcript of Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald Episode 4"Wedding DJ: 1 & 5 Star Reviews" for the differently abled and those who prefer to read.
Review That Review with Chelsey Donn and Trey Gerrald
THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.
Every Californian and Virginian.
It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.
Someone's gotta settle the score.
Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!
Whose views win, which ones lose.
Online haters are comin' for you!
Baby, it's time to Review That Review!
TREY: [00:00:30] Hi,
CHELSEY: [00:00:32] Welcome everybody, who's listening...
TREY: [00:00:34] Welcome listeners. Here we are episode four. Welcome to Review That Review! The podcast dedicated to reviewing...
CHELSEY: [00:00:41] ...reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious, scathing, and sometimes suspicious online reviews.
TREY: [00:00:52] That's Chelsey Donn.
CHELSEY: [00:00:54] And that's Trey Gerrald.
TREY: [00:00:56] And when we come together, we form,
VOICEOVER: [00:00:59] The Review Queens.
CHELSEY: [00:01:04] These crowns are heavy, you know, but somebody's got to wear them,
TREY: [00:01:07] ...we don't have to wear them. It's a podcast.
CHELSEY: [00:01:09] Shh! wants to be logical all the time? All right. How's your week been, Trey? How you doing?
TREY: [00:01:15] I'm really good. OH, I was waiting to make a reveal for you.
CHELSEY: [00:01:19] Please do reveal.
TREY: [00:01:21] This is an old hat from my favorite coffee shop in Key West called the Cuban Coffee Queen
CHELSEY: [00:01:28] How cute is that?
TREY: [00:01:31] For the listeners, it has a crown on it. I was going for a walk around the neighborhood with Winnie and I put the hat on and I was like, oh my God, it's a crown.
CHELSEY: [00:01:39] Perfect.
TREY: [00:01:41] Oh, you got your sticker on.
CHELSEY: [00:01:43] I'm going virtual with my crown today.
TREY: [00:01:45] Um, you did that really fast. Okay. Anyway, so you asked me how my week's going...
My week going great. Um, it's been a very good week.
I, um, have been activated and motivated and things are really good. That, that doesn't mean that I don't have, um, a complaint that I need to lodge
CHELSEY: [00:02:01] Of course.
VOICEOVER: [00:02:02] Lodge A complant!
TREY: [00:02:03] Chelsey.
CHELSEY: [00:02:04] Yes.
TREY: [00:02:05] I really want to lodge a complaint against parallel parking.
CHELSEY: [00:02:09] Yes. Let's hear it.
TREY: [00:02:11] I'm not sure if actually the complaint is against the idea of parallel parking, which needs there's a complaint there, or if it's actually against the instructor that my parents hired to teach me how to drive at age 14 or 15, because that instructor was very crafty and put a little square of white masking tape on the back rear view window.
CHELSEY: [00:02:36] Okay.
TREY: [00:02:37] And , he knew that at the DMV, at the South Carolina location, there was a far off stop sign in the far distance. And he calculated all you had to do was line that little square of white masking tape up to the far off stop sign in the distance. And that was how sharp or steep to turn the wheel to perfectly pull in to the one test parallel parking spot and ACE the parallel parking test.
CHELSEY: [00:03:10] He helped you cheat on the parallel parking portion
TREY: [00:03:12] Yes.
CHELSEY: [00:03:13] Cheaters never win.
TREY: [00:03:14] Cheaters, never win. Anytime I have to parallel park, I I'm reminded of this instance, but I will also share that I'm actually a good parallel parker, but I get incredibly serious, very stressed out. It becomes like a math equation to me because I don't have that sticker anyway. So I'm lodging a complaint against that instructor who taught a 14 year old me that cheating is ...is a successful option to take in life.
Also, I just do want to Lodage A Complaint against the idea of parallel parking, whose idea was that? Who, who had like a, a 19 whatever Ford where you had to wind the thing in the front, like on, I Love Lucy and was like, you know what? I think that we should start parking these in a parallel fashion.
CHELSEY: [00:03:56] Yeah, I'd be interested in looking up the history of parallel parking. I mean, I feel like it's space efficient. I think that that's probably, yeah.
TREY: [00:04:04] Yes,
CHELSEY: [00:04:05] How it came to be, but I hear you. I'm a pretty good parallel parker. I was taught by my dad's Office Manager's ex-husband who used to fix Greyhound buses.
And so he had to parallel park a Greyhound bus,
TREY: [00:04:21] What?!
CHELSEY: [00:04:21] But when you.
TREY: [00:04:22] I've never considered.
CHELSEY: [00:04:24] Yeah. When you learn how to parallel park from someone who parks like Greyhound buses, professionally, you have a good trainer. He also used his body instead of a cone. Like he's stood as if he were the car, which is, has said something about him having a death wish, but you know what it worked and I don't personally get anxious.
TREY: [00:04:45] I get anxious. Cause those spots are usually like on a heavy traffic street or in Manhattan. It's one way street. And so everyone's yeah. Their honking, you're in their way. Everyone's busy. You're taking time to not knock your side-view mirror off.
CHELSEY: [00:05:01] Oh, Um, God forbid, you'd knock your side view mirror off.
TREY: [00:05:05] Anyway. Okay. So that's my complaint. Let's all have a little more compassion for people trying to successfully pillar parallel park!
Chelsey. How are you? How's your week.
CHELSEY: [00:05:16] My weekend is good. I still like have a bit of an issue with Murphy and apparently like retrograde and all that. My air conditioning is still not working. It's like a huge heat wave here right now. Thank God for fans. I got a fan. So life has been better. If you hear the fan in the background, I apologize.
It's not going off. Disclaimer,
TREY: [00:05:36] Fair.
CHELSEY: [00:05:37] I'm going to Lodge A Complaint today against paper receipts.
VOICEOVER: [00:05:42] Lodge A Complaint!
CHELSEY: [00:05:44] It needs. It's done. We need to be done with paper receipts. I don't know anyone who's successfully saved a paper receipts. You know, I do my taxes, but like, I can't be responsible for holding on to all these paper receipts. I mean, I've, I've done taxes for clients before who keep all of their, their receipts in like boxes. And then by the time I looked at it to help them file, the ink is smudged off. deteriorated to near nothing. The fact that we are wasting trees for this purpose of paper receipts, and the biggest offender, not reinventing the wheel by saying, this is obviously CVS.
TREY: [00:06:28] CVS. Yep.
CHELSEY: [00:06:29] I mean, I was there this morning.
It's absolutely ridiculous. Like you go in, I buy Tylenol. My receipt could line the parking lot. Like it was just out of control how big this receipt is. They're giving me coupons that they know I'm not going to use. It's wasteful I'm over it. We need a new way. It's 2021. Enough!
TREY: [00:06:51] Those, um, receipt, coupon, receipts, they are even thicker. Have you ever noticed that the paper's a little bit thicker,
CHELSEY: [00:06:56] Yeah trees,
TREY: [00:06:58] even more wasteful.
CHELSEY: [00:06:59] More wasteful.
TREY: [00:07:00] I just saw a meme actually this week. Hilariously. Of, you know, those like, um, I think of them as being in like beach condos, you know, those like vinyl window shades,