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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 4: "Wedding DJ: 1 & 5 Star Reviews"

Updated: Sep 17, 2021

Transcript of Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald Episode 4"Wedding DJ: 1 & 5 Star Reviews" for the differently abled and those who prefer to read.

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn and Trey Gerrald

Episode 4

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

TREY: [00:00:30] Hi,

CHELSEY: [00:00:32] Welcome everybody, who's listening...

TREY: [00:00:34] Welcome listeners. Here we are episode four. Welcome to Review That Review! The podcast dedicated to reviewing...

CHELSEY: [00:00:41]! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious, scathing, and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

TREY: [00:00:52] That's Chelsey Donn.

CHELSEY: [00:00:54] And that's Trey Gerrald.

TREY: [00:00:56] And when we come together, we form,

VOICEOVER: [00:00:59] The Review Queens.

CHELSEY: [00:01:04] These crowns are heavy, you know, but somebody's got to wear them,

TREY: [00:01:07] ...we don't have to wear them. It's a podcast.

CHELSEY: [00:01:09] Shh! wants to be logical all the time? All right. How's your week been, Trey? How you doing?

TREY: [00:01:15] I'm really good. OH, I was waiting to make a reveal for you.

CHELSEY: [00:01:19] Please do reveal.

TREY: [00:01:21] This is an old hat from my favorite coffee shop in Key West called the Cuban Coffee Queen

CHELSEY: [00:01:28] How cute is that?

TREY: [00:01:31] For the listeners, it has a crown on it. I was going for a walk around the neighborhood with Winnie and I put the hat on and I was like, oh my God, it's a crown.

CHELSEY: [00:01:39] Perfect.

TREY: [00:01:41] Oh, you got your sticker on.

CHELSEY: [00:01:43] I'm going virtual with my crown today.

TREY: [00:01:45] Um, you did that really fast. Okay. Anyway, so you asked me how my week's going...

My week going great. Um, it's been a very good week.

I, um, have been activated and motivated and things are really good. That, that doesn't mean that I don't have, um, a complaint that I need to lodge

CHELSEY: [00:02:01] Of course.

VOICEOVER: [00:02:02] Lodge A complant!

TREY: [00:02:03] Chelsey.

CHELSEY: [00:02:04] Yes.

TREY: [00:02:05] I really want to lodge a complaint against parallel parking.

CHELSEY: [00:02:09] Yes. Let's hear it.

TREY: [00:02:11] I'm not sure if actually the complaint is against the idea of parallel parking, which needs there's a complaint there, or if it's actually against the instructor that my parents hired to teach me how to drive at age 14 or 15, because that instructor was very crafty and put a little square of white masking tape on the back rear view window.

CHELSEY: [00:02:36] Okay.

TREY: [00:02:37] And , he knew that at the DMV, at the South Carolina location, there was a far off stop sign in the far distance. And he calculated all you had to do was line that little square of white masking tape up to the far off stop sign in the distance. And that was how sharp or steep to turn the wheel to perfectly pull in to the one test parallel parking spot and ACE the parallel parking test.

CHELSEY: [00:03:10] He helped you cheat on the parallel parking portion

TREY: [00:03:12] Yes.

CHELSEY: [00:03:13] Cheaters never win.

TREY: [00:03:14] Cheaters, never win. Anytime I have to parallel park, I I'm reminded of this instance, but I will also share that I'm actually a good parallel parker, but I get incredibly serious, very stressed out. It becomes like a math equation to me because I don't have that sticker anyway. So I'm lodging a complaint against that instructor who taught a 14 year old me that cheating is a successful option to take in life.

Also, I just do want to Lodage A Complaint against the idea of parallel parking, whose idea was that? Who, who had like a, a 19 whatever Ford where you had to wind the thing in the front, like on, I Love Lucy and was like, you know what? I think that we should start parking these in a parallel fashion.

CHELSEY: [00:03:56] Yeah, I'd be interested in looking up the history of parallel parking. I mean, I feel like it's space efficient. I think that that's probably, yeah.

TREY: [00:04:04] Yes,

CHELSEY: [00:04:05] How it came to be, but I hear you. I'm a pretty good parallel parker. I was taught by my dad's Office Manager's ex-husband who used to fix Greyhound buses.

And so he had to parallel park a Greyhound bus,

TREY: [00:04:21] What?!

CHELSEY: [00:04:21] But when you.

TREY: [00:04:22] I've never considered.

CHELSEY: [00:04:24] Yeah. When you learn how to parallel park from someone who parks like Greyhound buses, professionally, you have a good trainer. He also used his body instead of a cone. Like he's stood as if he were the car, which is, has said something about him having a death wish, but you know what it worked and I don't personally get anxious.

TREY: [00:04:45] I get anxious. Cause those spots are usually like on a heavy traffic street or in Manhattan. It's one way street. And so everyone's yeah. Their honking, you're in their way. Everyone's busy. You're taking time to not knock your side-view mirror off.

CHELSEY: [00:05:01] Oh, Um, God forbid, you'd knock your side view mirror off.

TREY: [00:05:05] Anyway. Okay. So that's my complaint. Let's all have a little more compassion for people trying to successfully pillar parallel park!

Chelsey. How are you? How's your week.

CHELSEY: [00:05:16] My weekend is good. I still like have a bit of an issue with Murphy and apparently like retrograde and all that. My air conditioning is still not working. It's like a huge heat wave here right now. Thank God for fans. I got a fan. So life has been better. If you hear the fan in the background, I apologize.

It's not going off. Disclaimer,

TREY: [00:05:36] Fair.

CHELSEY: [00:05:37] I'm going to Lodge A Complaint today against paper receipts.

VOICEOVER: [00:05:42] Lodge A Complaint!

CHELSEY: [00:05:44] It needs. It's done. We need to be done with paper receipts. I don't know anyone who's successfully saved a paper receipts. You know, I do my taxes, but like, I can't be responsible for holding on to all these paper receipts. I mean, I've, I've done taxes for clients before who keep all of their, their receipts in like boxes. And then by the time I looked at it to help them file, the ink is smudged off. deteriorated to near nothing. The fact that we are wasting trees for this purpose of paper receipts, and the biggest offender, not reinventing the wheel by saying, this is obviously CVS.

TREY: [00:06:28] CVS. Yep.

CHELSEY: [00:06:29] I mean, I was there this morning.

It's absolutely ridiculous. Like you go in, I buy Tylenol. My receipt could line the parking lot. Like it was just out of control how big this receipt is. They're giving me coupons that they know I'm not going to use. It's wasteful I'm over it. We need a new way. It's 2021. Enough!

TREY: [00:06:51] Those, um, receipt, coupon, receipts, they are even thicker. Have you ever noticed that the paper's a little bit thicker,

CHELSEY: [00:06:56] Yeah trees,

TREY: [00:06:58] even more wasteful.

CHELSEY: [00:06:59] More wasteful.

TREY: [00:07:00] I just saw a meme actually this week. Hilariously. Of, you know, those like, um, I think of them as being in like beach condos, you know, those like vinyl window shades,

CHELSEY: [00:07:10] Yes.

TREY: [00:07:12] The meme is like, one of them is a CVS receipt.

Like fixed my broken blinds, like so funny to me.

CHELSEY: [00:07:19] I know, I just think we gotta do something about this. Let's create a mandate. I'm Lodging a complaint.

TREY: [00:07:25] Good job. That's a really good, really good complaint.

CHELSEY: [00:07:28] Thank you.

TREY: [00:07:29] I think that we can move forward now with our heads lifted high

CHELSEY: [00:07:33] I agree.

TREY: [00:07:34] and our, chest. Cavity's a little higher and lighter!

CHELSEY: [00:07:37] I'm just so glad I got to get that off my chest and say that. And now I would love to hear what some other people have to say. What about you?

TREY: [00:07:46] Me too. I think that we should do that.

CHELSEY: [00:07:48] All right. As you know, we are your trusty Review Queens. We each bring in a review from the internet that we feel needs to be inspected. We read you the review, we break it down and then we rate the impact of the review on a scale from one to five crowns.

It's a very Regal process that we call.

VOICEOVER: [00:08:07] Assess That Kvetch.

TREY: [00:08:09] But Chelsey, for those people who don't speak Yiddish, what does that word mean?

CHELSEY: [00:08:12] "Kvetch!" It means complain like, oh, stop kvetching. You're complaining so much.

TREY: [00:08:17] 'Oy Gavelt!'

CHELSEY: [00:08:19] Exactly

TREY: [00:08:19] Hm.


CHELSEY: [00:08:20] rolls right off the tongue. Really. All right, Trey.

Guess what? We don't have to ask who goes first, today? Because we have a Special Edition episode today. Wow. Episode four.

TREY: [00:08:35] That's right! Every now and then, Chelsey and I will bring in a one star review as well as a five-star review on the same subject. And then the final say it goes to us the Review Queens!

CHELSEY: [00:08:50] And that's exactly what we have in store for you today. When we have these special edition episodes, we will flip a coin to determine who gets the queenly five star review.

TREY: [00:09:03] We're just so sporty that way. Okay. Chelsey, I have a handy-dandy quarter.

CHELSEY: [00:09:08] Okay.

TREY: [00:09:09] I'll flip it and then you call

CHELSEY: [00:09:12] call it in the air. Okay.

I'm ready. Yes. Heads.

TREY: [00:09:17] It's heads. Okay. So that means you get to read the five star review.

CHELSEY: [00:09:24] Yes. And that means that you are going to be going first, right? Cause you're going to be reading the one-star review.

TREY: [00:09:30] This week, we're both doing, uh, reviews from the very, very expansive website. The

CHELSEY: [00:09:40] Huge.

TREY: [00:09:41] And we're gonna each read, , a one star and a five star review of a wedding DJ. And the company is called S and Mr. M, just for reference, S is spelled S P Y N F O.

I looked him up. He's very attractive, but neither here nor there. Okay. Um, all right.

CHELSEY: [00:10:03] try to incorporate that into my bias.

TREY: [00:10:06] Yes, please take attractiveness away

CHELSEY: [00:10:08] Yes...

TREY: [00:10:08] from your ... bias bias

CHELSEY: [00:10:09] I will.

TREY: [00:10:09] Okay. I'm gonna start with the one-star review.

CHELSEY: [00:10:12] Let's hear it.

VOICEOVER: [00:10:15] Review That Review.

TREY: [00:10:18] This review is by Celeste W. One star. I reached out to DJ S and decided to caps, NOT utilize his services since it became apparent his schedule was too busy. Once I declined to services, he reduced himself to calling me, quote, unquote, ignorant. Now what mature man argues with a woman over declining service.

I never once attacked him first. I never gave him a reason to call me ignorant. Then he continued and called me a clown. Clearly he has reached a point where he believes he can be rude and disrespectful. All caps, SHAME on you for your foul language. I think he should invest in a class for people skills.

The direction he decided to take was very unprofessional. I saved caps ALL the corresponding caps, EMAILS as proof. I reported him to caps, KNOT, K N O T, this website, and forwarded the emails. Then when the name calling wasn't enough for him, he predicted I would not have a great wedding because he wasn't the DJ. The only person you need to make your wedding great is your spouse. Furthermore NYC has plenty of talented, skilled DJs, and with the assistance of a computer, you can get music anywhere.

CHELSEY: [00:11:51] Wow. Celeste W sounds like she was traumatized a little bit.

TREY: [00:11:57] She was fed up!

CHELSEY: [00:11:58] I was getting a little bit of Karen vibes. I'm not going to lie. However, what I was intrigued by was , we're declaring that we have evidence, we have emails and we forwarded these emails. So if that's true, According to the language, you know, that, that she was called ignorant, that she was called a clown.

There would be evidence of that. So I would want to call her into question and say, maybe she's, being a little bit hyperbolic, but if she has evidence, she has evidence. And I think that that is pretty unacceptable.

TREY: [00:12:31] Yeah. And I'm not sure if you can upload images to reviews on the knot. I don't know if you can or not, but there is no photographic evidence. I think if, that had been attached, then case shut. Do you think this is a valuable review? Or do you think this information is pertinent?

CHELSEY: [00:12:48] I think so. I mean, you know, me, I like vibes I need good vibes. I need good energy. So like the fact that he was like, I'm going to predict that you have a bad wedding. That's a "no, no" with me, I would not want to go with anybody that had even the smallest percentage chance that they could bring some bad Juju, and bad energy to my day.

So if I were to read this review, yeah, I think there'll be a very large part of me that would be like off the list.

TREY: [00:13:20] It is a real, um, that's a real dig, you know, I do think it's interesting to note that Celeste didn't receive services from this vendor. They inquired and then left a review because in Celeste's, , experience allegedly, it was that poor. They didn't even hire them and then decided to even leave a review to alert other brides and grooms, et cetera.

CHELSEY: [00:13:44] In some cases like I'll knock off a couple of crowns for that because yeah. We're not really talking about the actual experience. However, in the wedding industry specifically, let's say I'm going to the knot, it's a service industry and it is a competitive industry. I want to know,

I'm getting into bed with this person for several months, leading up to the wedding. What is that interaction going to be with? And if I'm going to sense that this is going to be trouble, that I'm going to get pushed back, that I'm going to possibly turn this person off and they're going to turn on me.

That's something that I would want to know. So I am curious about the pre wedding process, and I think a lot of people going to the knot would be equally curious.

TREY: [00:14:29] I was going to say that as well. Like when you were planning a wedding, it is outrageously, , all involving and stressful to me, I think on a wedding website specifically, like The Knot, I think someone leaving a review, even if they haven't used the services is actually very telling because there's so much planning and

CHELSEY: [00:14:50] The planning is the thing, you know, like it is all, it's a year of planning for a day that. Is over like that,

TREY: [00:15:00] You'll remember

CHELSEY: [00:15:01] the rest of your life and please have wonderful wedding.

TREY: [00:15:03] There are a couple of, um, spelling and spelling issues here. One, one right off the bat as my largest pet peeve with misspelling is when the word too is spelled incorrectly.

When it became apparent his schedule was too busy, Celeste spelled it, "t o".

And that really is a pet peeve of mine. There was another one I thought of when I was reading and, oh, there she's missing. Celeste is missing a space here between spouse and furthermore, you can read, oh, there's a bunch of, um, capitalizations that are missing. You can, you can read and get the point, but I don't think that Celeste did a spellcheck pass on this

CHELSEY: [00:15:42] This is likely a first draft from Celeste. Along those lines, in a negative column for me with Celeste, the fact that she was like, anybody can play music from the internet. Right. No, that's not true. There are professional DJs, they're professional for a reason, they keep the energy going. And it is nowhere near the same as having a professional DJ. Who's like really able to just take in the energy of the crowd and work with people. And so I think that was a bit of an over-step.

TREY: [00:16:14] I'm very excited for this episode because I'm ready for the five-star and cause I did a lot of research on S and spend FAU is actually an MC and a DJ. Uh, so it's exactly what you're saying there. Yeah. We're focusing on the negative one-star review right now, but um, if you were just wanting to push play on your iPod, do they even make iPods anymore.

CHELSEY: [00:16:40] maybe.

TREY: [00:16:40] Then, then you're not looking for the services of DJ S because they are emceeing the entire 12 hour event.

It was a dig back, perhaps at saying, I imagine you're going to have a bad wedding cause you didn't hire me.

CHELSEY: [00:16:53] Yeah. And then the Karen bites came a little bit cause she was like, I forwarded the emails to The Knot again, not trying to discount anyone, especially as we know. I mean, there are a lot of emotions surrounding planning this, so I'm not going to negate Celeste emotion here and her passion and just write her off as a Karen because.

It's a big day. And I think she probably was thrown. If in fact she was called, you know, a clown,

TREY: [00:17:24] that's so funny to call someone a clown.

CHELSEY: [00:17:27] it does seem like a, like an insult from a DJ for some reason.

TREY: [00:17:32] Do you think? Yes, I agree. Do you think that, uh, Celeste is being like truthful or shady?

CHELSEY: [00:17:39] I think she's being truthful, especially like I started to say with , the fact that she's bringing up evidence. I mean, I guess she could be lying, but I don't know why she would, unless she's like a competitor that's completely gone rogue and she's undercover. I think to say like, I have emails, like this person said this, I have emails.

I forwarded along to The Knot, I think she is being honest. About her experience. I don't know that this is a typical experience though.

TREY: [00:18:05] I'm trying to decipher what exactly happened. Cause Celeste is saying they reached out and then decided not to pursue it when they realized they were busy. And then it turned into name calling.

CHELSEY: [00:18:18] Yes.

TREY: [00:18:19] I imagine that if DJ S was not available, then there's no reason to like a call you a clown, but also to like diss the fact that your wedding is going to be bad.

Cause I'm a not available. Like, I don't understand where I don't know how we got to that point, if it did in fact occur.

CHELSEY: [00:18:35] Yeah. I'm glad that you brought that up because I meant to ask that and then I forgot. So it felt like we very quickly got from, like, I reached out to him to like all of a sudden I'm being called a clown. maybe I miss something in there, but like, so, so she reached out and he said he was not available.

TREY: [00:18:55] Celeste sort of um, says both things here. Or the first sentence says, I decided not to utilize the service since it became apparent. His schedule was too busy, so that's not, not available just too busy. Once I declined his services, he reduced me himself to calling me ignorant. Okay. So that's different.

So it's not that they weren't available. They are very busy

CHELSEY: [00:19:19] Got it.

TREY: [00:19:19] And that alarmed Celeste. Celeste decided not to hire.

CHELSEY: [00:19:25] So they were very busy, so they didn't like respond right away.

TREY: [00:19:29] Maybe, I don't know. Maybe, maybe that is how this, how we led down this track.

CHELSEY: [00:19:35] That's interesting. Is it that Celeste was like, we want, like, we're really interested in you. Like, we are ready to like pull the trigger or these are the dates that we want. And they were all in for S and then didn't respond right away.

So they found somebody else.

TREY: [00:19:51] I don't know there's no contract, like who cares?

CHELSEY: [00:19:54] Yeah, you're right. It shouldn't really be a factor.

TREY: [00:19:58] mean, Okay.

Humor entertaining. I mean, the clown made me laugh.

CHELSEY: [00:20:04] I wasn't like, I wasn't bored to death, but I wouldn't say that I was like thrilled. If we were in previews for this show, I would think this isn't going to make it

TREY: [00:20:15] They need a joke writer.

CHELSEY: [00:20:16] yeah, they need it. They need it punched up.

TREY: [00:20:18] Script doctor. So do we care if you were Celeste's grandmother would you hang this on the fridge? No!? Is it what's the impact? Do you think this is the deal break?

CHELSEY: [00:20:28] I do think it's a deal breaker, which I think makes it impactful. Like I said, it's really the energy, the vibe thing. That's super important to me. I'm very gun shy about that stuff. So if I heard that there was somebody in what I consider to be very much a service industry that was saying that I was disrespectful saying that I was a clown.

It's like, take the higher road. If she's not interested in you. Thank you, next.

TREY: [00:20:51] That's really interesting because I don't find it to be a deal breaker to me. I think there's some miscommunication here. They didn't even get the services. So to me, I would be like, okay, I'm going to, if I'm really into this DJ, then I will allow myself to expect that they might take a little time to get back.

CHELSEY: [00:21:12] We just don't know the context, I guess. Exactly. I think that that's maybe where Celeste failed us a little bit. I wonder if, if we've omitted some of the information to make ourselves look better and look victimized in this situation.

TREY: [00:21:27] that comes up for me too, because there's a lot of she doth protest too much going on. never once attacked him first. I don't know. I

CHELSEY: [00:21:35] I hear you.

TREY: [00:21:36] it feels a little. I don't know,

CHELSEY: [00:21:38] I do think there might be a factor here where Celeste is, is burying a bit of the lead.

TREY: [00:21:44] possibly,

CHELSEY: [00:21:45] Okay. I feel like I have enough information

TREY: [00:21:48] all right, Chelsey and I each have our own set of one to five crown cards and in an effort to be fair and not influenced by each other's decisions. We will simultaneously reveal our rating.

VOICEOVER: [00:22:00] The Queens are Tabulating.

All right, Trey. Are you ready?

TREY: [00:22:04] Um, yeah, I'm ready.

CHELSEY: [00:22:06] Okay, I'm ready too. Oh. Interesting. Trey is holding up two crowns.

TREY: [00:22:17] And Chelsey's holding up three crowns.

CHELSEY: [00:22:20] I gave Celeste three crowns. I took away some points for the grammar, for the bias, for the potential bias. I shall say I also, I gave her points because personally energy and vibe is super important to me. So I do think this would impact. My, I I'm just super sensitive, especially with events like this.

I want to make sure that the PR person is perfect. So I'm not going to lie. If I read a review like this, I might be like, Ooh, that's, that's a bit of a turnoff. I don't want to move forward. I would need a personal reference for S to supersede this review. So, because she's influenced me personally, that degree, I felt like I had to give her at least three crowns.

Why did you do two?

TREY: [00:23:00] I just did two, because it feels a little, um, individual to me. I feel like even with the vibe conversation, perhaps S was very busy that week and it was a fluke. I don't know why I feel that way. I think because it's, his profile was littered with five star reviews. And so this does sort of look like an anomaly, which is a little bit of bias outside of.

Uh, Celeste has written, I just said two, cause it wasn't entertaining really, and, uh, there were some spelling and grammar errors and it felt a little doth protest too much. And, um, it wouldn't stop me from reaching out.

CHELSEY: [00:23:35] I think that that's a good point. I didn't know that it was littered amongst five star reviews. That being said, because we are doing a one and five. I'm super curious to hear what the next review has to say, because maybe. I'm going to want to make a, make a, a change here to my review of Celeste, but in this very moment, I'm sticking with three,

TREY: [00:23:55] Yeah.

CHELSEY: [00:23:56] but I think maybe before we just...

VOICEOVER: [00:23:58] There's a Reply!

CHELSEY: [00:24:00] Oh, there's a reply!!

y Yeah

TREY: [00:24:02] All right. So first time, first time Chelsey, I buried the lead here and there's actually a reply from the vendor that you are going to read. It's in your Google drive.

CHELSEY: [00:24:17] Oh my God. Hold on. Let me get that. Oh,

TREY: [00:24:20] We are, we have a reply from the vendor. So DJ S replied to Celeste's one-star review, and Chelsey's gonna cold-read it.

CHELSEY: [00:24:28] oh my goodness. Wow. Okay. This, this really does change the game a little bit. All right. I'm going to try to do S some justice here. All right. This is completely inaccurate. My reviews and years of work, speak for itself. For someone to take this much time out of their day to harass me on my profile is disturbing. People that respond to potential vendors like this have no business inquiring prices and scheduling meetings.

The number that I called didn't work, and this is her response. From Celeste. W, 'did you read the email at 11:10, where I provided you with my number to call me? Why you given me your number to call you? I see you're too busy for me and my special event. Never mind. I will go back on Knots and get another DJ. This is too much back and forth for me, and I have enough to do as it is. Thank you. But no, thanks. We will look elsewhere.' I asked you to stop emailing after I realized you weren't serious and you began to send messages about God punishing me and how you plan on getting at me like the Hulk. I wish you the best. For those interested in booking DJ S.

THEME SONG: [00:25:59] Yeah.

CHELSEY: [00:26:00] Oh my God. I have a whole new opinion of Celeste.

TREY: [00:26:05] Isn't that crazy.

CHELSEY: [00:26:07] I got to say for the listeners who. Are not seeing what I'm seeing. Trey mentioned again, not that this is the majority of what we're grading things on, but Trey mentioned, there were a few spelling errors in Celeste W's comment, and there were a plethora of spelling errors in Celeste's email.

And in fact did say the whole thing about God punishing him, wow. I just, this is why it's important that we have a reply.

TREY: [00:26:36] It's really Savage of, um, DJ S to literally copy paste the email with all of the errors involved!

CHELSEY: [00:26:46] It's amazing though, because DJ S, you know, grammar is actually pretty solid, so you can definitely tell. You know, he's doing it to be a little shady, but like this is his business. And if, that's true and like we were saying before, it did seem like Celeste was emitting a little bit of the story.

So if this in fact is the rest of the story and she was harassing him via email after like giving him the wrong phone number, which based on the spelling errors I believe is totally possible that Celeste W gave him the wrong number. I really gave Celeste W too much credit.

TREY: [00:27:25] So you really feel completely swayed by this reply.

CHELSEY: [00:27:29] I feel pretty swayed. I don't know, but like, there wouldn't be drama cause I wouldn't come at somebody like that. So I don't like that. The, I still don't like the fact that he was like, your wedding is going to be horrible. If in fact he did say that. He didn't negate it.

He didn't say, I didn't say that. He didn't say I didn't call her clown. He didn't, redact. Any of the things that she accused him of saying, and I still think it's wrong. And I don't, I wouldn't want a DJ who is going to clap back like that. But we're clearly seeing now that DJ S was provoked.

TREY: [00:28:03] Yeah, I also, I think that why it shifts everything for me are the first four words of the reply. This is completely inactive.

CHELSEY: [00:28:12] Yeah.

TREY: [00:28:13] I don't know why, but just saying these facts are inaccurate is kind of like a Trump card in a way of like, okay. Emotion. It's not like literally the vocabulary word inaccurate just sounds a very intelligent leveling of the emotion.

It's not like you're whack. What is rock? Like he mentioned that later.

CHELSEY: [00:28:37] Yeah.

TREY: [00:28:39] Look, the profession of being a DJ MC is charisma oozing out of every pore of you being a leader and taking charge. And I feel taken care of and his reply for some reason, like, I feel like there was something weird going on.

CHELSEY: [00:28:54] Yeah.

TREY: [00:28:55] He acknowledges the inaccuracies.

Doesn't really cop up to any of the necessary accusations, but points out their point of view of the situation and then ends with, if you're interested in booking, the info, which is just like, I, I appreciate that. It's personality. It's not just a canned, so sorry for your experience we

CHELSEY: [00:29:17] email me. Yeah.

TREY: [00:29:19] right.

It literally is like, why are you putting so much energy into this?

CHELSEY: [00:29:23] I feel even more intrigued to read that five star review. Now I feel like maybe I did DJ S a little bit wrong, but I'm not like a hundred percent feeling him. Cause I still don't like the clown thing. However, I wonder. If clown was said first or the Hulk was said first. Cause that to me is hilarious as well.

The fact that, that she said that God was going to punish him and that she planned on getting him like the Hulk, and that's in quotes

TREY: [00:29:54] That's scary to me.

CHELSEY: [00:29:55] Who says that?

TREY: [00:29:56] If someone threatens me with that, I would, I would be scared.

CHELSEY: [00:29:59] Yeah, I would be disturbed as he says. All right, DJ, S. You might've gotten me back with your reply. More to come after I hear the five-star review, but presently, I'm going to do it officially.

I'm knocking Celeste down to two crowns, for sure.

TREY: [00:30:15] Wow.

CHELSEY: [00:30:16] With the possibility even giving one crown, depending on what I hear in this five star review.

TREY: [00:30:23] I hear you. All right. So why don't we take a quick little break?

CHELSEY: [00:30:27] Yeah, I need a break after that.

TREY: [00:30:28] We'll come back and we'll hear a five-star side

CHELSEY: [00:30:32] Can't wait.

TREY: [00:30:34] All right. We'll take a

CHELSEY: [00:30:34] be right back.

VOICEOVER: [00:30:38] Hold your crown. We'll be right back.

TREY: [00:30:50] Oh, wow. Hey Queens. Look, we know that it can get super annoying to constantly be asked to 'rate and review,' 'rate and review.' Look aside from the fact that our podcast is literally all about reviews. The reason we are asking is because it's important for us to know what you, the listener are thinking of the show so far. What do you love? What do you want less of? We have made it easier to rate and review us with a super cute hyperlink, henny. It's also just one little click away in the show description below. We honestly, really do appreciate it. Now to the show.

Yay. All right. We're back from the break. And now it's time Chels, for you to strap in on that pony. As we jump on the Meryl-Go-Round.

VOICEOVER: [00:31:50] I don't feel like an icon. Most of the days, I feel like I can't. That's with an A!.

CHELSEY: [00:31:59] Wow. I am secure on this pony. Um, thank you for making sure that I had my seatbelt on. You're always looking out for me.

TREY: [00:32:10] What animal am I on

CHELSEY: [00:32:12] I think you're, let's see. I think maybe you're on like, like a horse, but like with wings, what is that called? Pegasus?

TREY: [00:32:19] A horse with wings? I want to think of things like that. And other things, wait, this is controversial. But sometimes as a kid, when I would get on a carousel, I would sit on like the stupid little bench that didn't move at all.

CHELSEY: [00:32:31] I get it. I did that now as an adult,

TREY: [00:32:36] on carosels. You get on

CHELSEY: [00:32:37] sometimes I have to get on carousels with like my niece and nephews and you know, they're too little to too. That's what the bench is really for. They're too little to be on the horse. So then you have to sit with them on the bench and like watch everybody else having fun, going up and down on their little horsey ride

TREY: [00:32:54] Well, I feel very secure on my Pegesus today. All right. So here we go.

CHELSEY: [00:32:59] All right. Here's the deal Trey and I are each going to pick, or we already picked a rotten, scathing, pithy one-star zinger with 30 seconds on the clock. We will take turns, trying to recite the zinger in as many genres as possible.

TREY: [00:33:15] Just like queen Meryl, who does it all.

CHELSEY: [00:33:17] Before the clock runs out.

TREY: [00:33:19] Okay. So you'll go first or should I go first? Cause you did the reply.

CHELSEY: [00:33:22] It's up to you.

TREY: [00:33:23] Let me go first. Cause I feel like you're so good at this.

CHELSEY: [00:33:26] Okay. Trey is going to go first. take it away. Trey.

TREY: [00:33:31] All right today, I have a one star zinger from This is for the novel To Kill A Mockingbird. The subject is liked the movie better. And the review is wasn't that excited? Liked the movie better.

CHELSEY: [00:33:49] Okay. All right, Trey. Are you ready?

TREY: [00:33:55] I, am, I'm ready. Yes.

CHELSEY: [00:33:58] Okay, take it away. Lifetime

TREY: [00:34:04] Wasn't that excited? I liked the movie better.

CHELSEY: [00:34:08] televangelist,

TREY: [00:34:10] Wasn't diode excited. A boy likes the movie better. Jesus.

CHELSEY: [00:34:16] musical theater.

TREY: [00:34:17] Wasn't that high.

CHELSEY: [00:34:23] Okay.

TREY: [00:34:25] I wasn't that excited. I liked the movie better.

CHELSEY: [00:34:29] My not and goat. Okay. I will give you credit for mime. First of all, Trey. I don't know why you're always so hard on yourself with this game. You're excellent. At this game, you did very well. You got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 in, and that was a pretty lengthy one star zinger. So I'm proud of you.

TREY: [00:34:53] Thank you. I really wanted to like honor trying to act it and I wasn't going speedy, which I fall into the trap of a lot. So I'm proud of myself. I got five. Okay. So now Chelsey, it's your turn.

CHELSEY: [00:35:05] Okay. This is a Zoc doc review of a primary care physician. We're steering I ever had coming into the doc doctor's office. So I think, and, and it just says verified patient, Tim D. So I think what T Tim D meant to say is that it was the worst experience he ever had coming into a doctor's office.

But in honor of honoring Tim D I will be reading worst spirits I ever had coming into the doc doc office.

TREY: [00:35:39] good luck.

CHELSEY: [00:35:40] Thank you. This is, this is going to be a tough one, but all right, let's do it.

VOICEOVER: [00:35:48] Okay.

TREY: [00:35:49] Film noir,

CHELSEY: [00:35:50] Worst spirits I ever had coming into the deck doctor's office.

TREY: [00:35:56] opera, diva. Yeah.

CHELSEY: [00:36:05] Well, coming into the doc doctor's office.

Oh, this is hard. I can't do

TREY: [00:36:23] 1, 3, 4. You got four. That's good. That was a long one, too.

CHELSEY: [00:36:28] You cannot do a Southern accent after you do an org New York accent right away. Or maybe you can.

TREY: [00:36:33] I feel like my televangelists was a little bit Southern, so which they're kind of are, I said, boy, I don't, I don't know that a preacher would say boy, but I did. So we it's.

CHELSEY: [00:36:42] except your win.

TREY: [00:36:44] Thank you. I'm curtsying.

CHELSEY: [00:36:47] earned it. You did excellent. I can't, I always can do a Southern accent or Spire inside your head coming into the doc doctor's office. I just want to confirm that I could do it.

TREY: [00:36:57] It's the pressure. It's the time. the time. It's okay.

We are measured by our greatness, not by one moment in time,

CHELSEY: [00:37:07] You're right. And most days I do feel like an i can't and I'm working on that.

TREY: [00:37:11] Same.

VOICEOVER: [00:37:14] Review that review.

TREY: [00:37:17] All right. So now we're back from that really fun game break and, uh, it's time for the flip side of the coin.

CHELSEY: [00:37:24] This five star review of DJ S was written by LaQuawn L Before my wife and I arrived to the reception. We can hear the party was already jumpin and getting jealous. So we couldn't wait to get out there. My guests were like, we were literally on the dance floor as soon as we arrived to the reception, the music was just that good. Our crowd was diverse. I mean, we had everyone from the West Indies to Africa, to Europe, to Asia at our wedding, and everyone enjoyed the night DJ S gave us, we got so many, that was the best wedding I've ever been to comments and are still getting them two months after.

DJ S kept the crowd. Engaged, played everything from the good to the hood. And somehow had my Japanese mother in her kimono, swag, surfing and Palancing. He has an amazing ability to read the crowd and knew exactly what to do. Keep the party going from the beginning to the end. Man. He was even in the crowd dancing at some point.

Thanks for the amazing memories. He is a dope DJ and MC book him don't think twice you, your family and friends will have an amazing time to remember. Okay, LaQuwan, I'm hearing this.

TREY: [00:39:01] I want to just point out that this review is posted March 13th, 2020. So that was right when we were being locked down in America. So, the wedding was two months prior.

CHELSEY: [00:39:12] Okay. Okay. Fair fair.

TREY: [00:39:14] I love the visual of the Japanese mother and her Kimono swag.

CHELSEY: [00:39:19] Yes,

TREY: [00:39:19] And, you know, I appreciate that. They point out that it's a diverse crowd, that he played a diverse amount of music and really had like a party going.

CHELSEY: [00:39:31] Yeah. And you touched on what I said before. When I got a little bit peeved with Celeste, when she made the dig about, you can just play something from the internet. Like the real job of the DJ is to keep the crowd going, like, is the crowd not digging this? Then we got to pivot and it sounds like DJ S really did deliver.

TREY: [00:39:51] Correct.

CHELSEY: [00:39:52] There were quite a few spelling and just copy editing errors in this, I will say there were a few times when I was like, am I reading that, you know, accurately? so wasn't, you know, this was written very, very quickly and sort of half hazardly I would say, I don't think we had a proofread. I don't, I don't think that was super important to LaQuwan.

TREY: [00:40:12] I agree.

Yeah, it seems like exactly like a perfect five star review. Like that's exactly like they were really, really happy. Is it an, is it entertaining or humorous? I mean, I think the visual the mom...

CHELSEY: [00:40:25] I think, I think they gave us like some visual, like the phrasing wasn't exactly right. But even the idea of like maybe you just took some pictures and now like we're kind of arriving after our guests are there and like I'm kind of jealous. It sounds like good time in there.

Like. they definitely painted some good pictures for us. I'll say that. And they hit a lot of things that I think would be important to people like the fact that it was a diverse crowd is like, we were able to please everybody, which I think is a hard thing to do with the DJ.

Like you're going to have some people that don't resonate with certain music.

TREY: [00:40:56] Mm.

CHELSEY: [00:40:57] it seems like DJ S at least gave everybody a taste of, of what they like.

TREY: [00:41:05] Yeah. And I liked the phrase from the good to the hood and also like it's a real strong visual that he was in the crowd dancing at some point. Because you have to be like thoroughly the hit of the party for that to occur and for it to be a hit and to be a highlight in this, like what 30 sentence review, if that vibe is not happening, you can't just jump into the middle as the DJ.

You know what I mean? Like that's a real boisterous, life of the party, kick ass host, you know,

CHELSEY: [00:41:36] And that's like not sleeping at the wheel that is like doing your job and being fully present the entire time. And as you mentioned before, it does say that DJ S is also like an M - more of an emcee DJ. Yeah. So it sounds like he's delivering on both fronts.

TREY: [00:41:55] I guess for some reason. And I think that I'm totally leaning team DJ S, Mr. M, but Could this be a planted review because it's so. It hits every feel-good button and that it leads with how diverse the crowd was, which I know that we thankfully are in this culture of like, being aware.

Um, so maybe leading with that as like, maybe we are all more aware of that, but it occurs to me that it's more of an observation from. the person being hired potentially than someone that's in the experience of their own life. If that makes any sense, unless maybe in the, I mean, your wedding, it is suddenly everyone important in your life is in one room.

So it really is an overwhelming sense that maybe you would start to really reflect like, wow, I have a huge diverse group of loved ones, so maybe not, but I don't know there it's just such a rave that it makes me question. If it's even valid, which is so odd. I mean, it like makes me, but then again, I do feel like the impact here for me is like, I want, I mean, I do have a bias that I hate dancing.

Sorry. I hate wedding dancing. I hate it. I hate it.

CHELSEY: [00:43:17] Don't apologize.

TREY: [00:43:18] so my bias is like the facts that like, oh, there's a jamming dance party at my wedding. Like I would not be jealous. I would not want to enter the room. So, you know, but that being said.

CHELSEY: [00:43:28] But that's like, that's a taste thing, right? not every DJ is for everyone. I think that that's okay. Like I think even if you read this five star review and you're like, Ooh, I don't really feel like the flavor of DJ S is my flavor. Like, I don't think I'm gonna buy it.

TREY: [00:43:46] Are you not a dancer, either at weddings.

CHELSEY: [00:43:48] Really very, you know, you get a couple of good drinks in me and it's possible.

I could be like leading that dance for, or, or I could be not. And just like sitting down, cause my feet hurt really bad, which usually also happens. So I tend to flip flop, but I will say like, I dunno, I have it on my husband yet, so who knows. But on the day of my wedding, I already have anxiety. About needing to be the lead dancer at the affair, because I think that there's pressure on the bride and groom to be like, bring the party guys, like pull out, those dance moves,

TREY: [00:44:22] Especially if it's a Jewish wedding and you have to do the Hora.

CHELSEY: [00:44:25] uh, and the Hora! The hora! the horah, the hora, the hora. We all know what we're talking about. The Hora

TREY: [00:44:33] Oh yeah. I it right, because I'm Southern. Sorry.

CHELSEY: [00:44:36] no, it's okay. No, the Hora can,

TREY: [00:44:37] Did you know that? At my wedding, we had a Mazingka dance.

CHELSEY: [00:44:41] Oh,

TREY: [00:44:42] You know what that is?

CHELSEY: [00:44:43] I think is it something with cloth?

TREY: [00:44:45] No. It's when the youngest child of parents is finally married off. It's an honorary procession for the parents. I love when Jews don't know what that is. And I do. Yeah.

CHELSEY: [00:45:00] I think the David's more, it comes from a more religious family than I do, but that being said like, yeah, the horror can last for five hours, but the hora can be the.... I went to a wedding one time and it like, we ate dinner. They were serving the cake and they were still doing the Hora.

TREY: [00:45:15] you know that my mother-in-law broke her nose during a Hora?

CHELSEY: [00:45:19] At your wedding?

TREY: [00:45:20] Not at my wedding..

CHELSEY: [00:45:21] Oh, okay. I get how it can happen. Those elbows are high.

TREY: [00:45:24] wait, hold on. I want to make sure that that's right. David, David, maybe he's downstairs. I don't know if she broke her nose or if she cut her face or, or she broke a leg. I think that she broke her nose. Cause I know that it was.

CHELSEY: [00:45:39] broke a lag.

TREY: [00:45:41] No, I think it was her nose. Cause she like got hit in the face.

CHELSEY: [00:45:45] cause it's like, you're always, you're locking arms with people and I could see very easily. It's like, I go to lock arms with you and then

TREY: [00:45:51] Maybe it shouldn't break the nose. Maybe she got a bloody nose, whatever it's violent and horrifying.

CHELSEY: [00:45:57] she wouldn't be the first person that got a bloody nose during a Hora. All right. Point is I think we have to eliminate our own taste from.

The assessment of the review itself, I will say it's interesting that you said, , is this a relative of DJ S? Is this DJ S in disguise? Is this somebody that is writing a fake review?

TREY: [00:46:19] Did that come up for you?

CHELSEY: [00:46:21] It did a little bit. Maybe LaQwan L took it seriously. And before he wrote this review was like, let me hit all the points that somebody would want in a DJ, because I want to be a Review Queen.

So I'm going to hit the point about them being, you know, energetic that, about them being diverse about them, keeping the crowd going. Just like everybody's saying that it was the best wedding ever. Like all those things I think are what you want when you're looking for a DJ. So only because I really feel like in almost a calculated way, we hit every single one of those points.

Maybe it's a cynical side of me, but there is part of me that's like, is this real, you know, or is it not? So I had that feeling as well.

TREY: [00:47:03] I do think it's important for the listener. The one star review was written in 2016 and this five star review was in 2020. So I don't think that this five-star is padding in response to the one-star that's many years apart. So, and there's many reviews between

CHELSEY: [00:47:19] You mentioned that there were a lot of five star reviews, like,

TREY: [00:47:23] all of them, basically.

CHELSEY: [00:47:25] so all of them, except for this one star review that we read from Celeste W, everything else was five stars.

TREY: [00:47:32] Yeah.

CHELSEY: [00:47:33] To me. That's sometimes suspect too. I'm going to be honest. We could have some big ones in there, but

TREY: [00:47:39] But going off of LaQuwan...

CHELSEY: [00:47:41] ...going off of, just LaQuwan...

TREY: [00:47:43] I'm ready to crown it.

CHELSEY: [00:47:44] I'm ready to crown too.

TREY: [00:47:45] Okay. Let's do it.

VOICEOVER: [00:47:48] The Queens are Tabulating.

TREY: [00:47:51] You got your cards.

CHELSEY: [00:47:52] Okay. I have my card, so yeah.

VOICEOVER: [00:48:01] Total Score!

CHELSEY: [00:48:03] Unanimous. We both have four crowns. Trey, why did you get four crowns?

TREY: [00:48:09] Honestly, because it's such a slam dunk review. It makes me a little suspect. That's why, there are the spelling errors, so that's part of it too. I wish they had done a pass with spell check, but I would need to look around and see like what everyone else is saying, because it feels a little extremely one-sided, which it was a five-star experience for LaQuwan.

And that's what they gave. I don't know why I'm being cynical, but that's why I gave it four.

CHELSEY: [00:48:34] I think four is a very respectable score and that's personally why I gave LaQuwan my four crowns. I thought it was entertaining. I thought it was dynamic. I thought we had a lot of visuals. I knew who was there. I knew I loved the detail about the mom and the kimono. And those kinds of details did make me feel like this was an authentic review.

This was an experience that was happening to more people other than just LaQuwan. And I appreciate what they had to say. So for me, I'm giving LaQuwan, no questions, four crowns.

TREY: [00:49:09] Excellent.

CHELSEY: [00:49:10] Wow.

TREY: [00:49:11] I I'm curious now that we've done the five-star, the one-star and the reply from the vendor. What is your Chelsey Donn, Review Queen? What do you think.

CHELSEY: [00:49:20] I think Celeste is shady a little bit. I think that Celeste, um, lied by, by omission. She sort of was poking the bear. It sounds like, you know, DJ S, yeah. Responding to being poked. So I'm going to say contrary to what I said earlier, and again, willing to admit when I'm wrong, I would discount Celeste's review.

And I would say that most people can expect to have a jammin' time and be fully entertained. And up off the floor, doing things that are way more exciting than the electric slide and DJ S would give them a good experience.

TREY: [00:49:59] I do want to just say that I have no idea who DJ S is. Neither does Chelsey. It's totally a random, we are not an ad. We don't know them. I looked up. Their website and he has a video reel. I mean, he, it looks like a great hire. I mean, to me, I was like, oh, I would totally want to hire this person. And he's also very attractive as I've said before.

I wonder if that's sort of in the mix here with Celeste. I don't know. I'm making that up. I'm putting it into the mix, but we I'll never know exactly what happened between the two of them. And that just is really highlighting why reviews can be really tricky and why you need a Review Queen to sort of tell you.

Where you should fall. And to me, and I agree with Chelsey here, I think that because Celeste stands out that one star review seems really to be an anomaly and it's so specific. I don't know. It just feels, I think, um, I feel badly that that exists on DJ S's page, because it doesn't seem to be a good representation of their service.

CHELSEY: [00:51:05] completely agree. And I think that that's why this segment is so important to do the one and the five, because so often on our show, you're going to hear us read one-star reviews that really don't deserve that, you know, that have several customers that are happy. And the reality is we can't please everyone and I love this segment because it shows us that.

TREY: [00:51:27] And if you listeners like this idea of doing one and a five, leave us a review and share that, uh, get in touch with us. You can leave us a voicemail. So we know if we should move forward with more of these one and fives. Awesome. So as we reached the end of today's episode Chels, have you got any personal reviews for your week?

Who are you inducting for this week's...?

VOICEOVER: [00:51:51] My Royal Highness!

CHELSEY: [00:51:53] I am inducting a very special woman named Terri Cole who is extremely influential to me. she is a life coach guru. She was my personal therapist when I was living in New York and I cry, at least once a week, that she doesn't practice, um, one-on-one anymore. But that being said, she is not practicing on a one-on-one because she is changing the world and she just released a book called Boundary Boss.

And she's a boss. And if you have trouble having boundaries with people, I recommend looking up Terri Cole. Beyond the fact that she has so many programs and things that you can sign up for. The thing that I love the best about Terri is that she has so much free content out there, a ton of free meditations and lots of stuff that you can access and not spend a dime.

And she is committed to providing value for so many people. And she does that for me. And she does that for thousands of other people. I am just so excited to induct Terri Cole, buy her book Boundary Boss. I love you, Ter. You're awesome. And thank God for people like you.

TREY: [00:53:02] Wow. That's amazing.

CHELSEY: [00:53:03] Do you have someone.

TREY: [00:53:04] Okay. So my inductee for My Royal Highness this week is, um, relatively new friend. His name is Eric Williams and he is a podcaster and his podcast it's called That's a Gay Ass Podcast where he interviews comedians. And they discussed the thing that made them gay. It's really funny, but I called him because I wanted to ask him a few questions about his audio quality, because it's so superb.

And he was like, yes, here's my phone number. I'll get on a call. And, uh, we made a schedule and then I was available later that day and I was like, Hey, can you chat now? And he totally got on a call and shared a lot of. Top secrets...

...what That a of top podcasters utilize and yes, he is a mensch. He's a very wonderful, handsome Jewish boy with also a beautiful husband.

And anyway, I just wanted to acknowledge. People helping each other. Other podcasters there's room and space for everyone. And I'm looking forward to having him as a guest on our podcast in the future. When we start introducing Queens with Questions. Uh, so Eric Williams, That's a Gay Ass Podcast.

Uh, is my inductee for My Royal Highness,

CHELSEY: [00:54:25] Oh, I love that.

TREY: [00:54:26] we did at Chelsey, another round and the books. Can you believe?

CHELSEY: [00:54:30] Uh, I cannot even believe it. We are four episodes in. Guys, thank you so much for joining us today. If you like what you heard, please tell a friend.

TREY: [00:54:40] If you didn't like what you heard, please tell an enemy. If you want to lodge your own complaint, submit your own review or share with the world who you would induct for My Royal Highness, leave us a voicemail at 850-REVIEW-0.

CHELSEY: [00:54:54] Yes, I can't wait to hear them. Also. You can follow us on all of the socials @TheReviewQueens. I'm @ChelseyBD.

TREY: [00:55:03] And I'm @TreyGerrald. That's two R's. Become a member of the Royal Court by joining our Patreon at Watch live clips from our recording sessions on YouTube,

CHELSEY: [00:55:16] And remember, ignore the haters, you're a queen.

TREY: [00:55:20] gender nonspecific queen.

CHELSEY: [00:55:21] Bye

TREY: [00:55:23] Bye, tootle loo toodle PIP Tata

CHELSEY: [00:55:26] for now.

TREY: [00:55:26] auf Wiedersehen. Is that hello? Or goodbye?

CHELSEY: [00:55:29] Bye.

TREY: [00:55:30] Um, Guten Bye-in. That's gross. Okay. Bye.

CHELSEY: [00:55:34] Bye.

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me, with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.