Updated: Sep 17, 2021
Transcript of Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald Episode 5 "Squat N’ Potty / Richard Rodgers Theater" for the differently abled and those who prefer to read.
Review That Review with Chelsey Donn and Trey Gerrald
THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.
Every Californian and Virginian.
It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.
Someone's gotta settle the score.
Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!
Whose views win, which ones lose.
Online haters are comin' for you!
Baby, it's time to Review That Review!
CHELSEY: [00:00:30] Hello!
TREY: [00:00:31] Hi. Hi, welcome to Review That Review, the podcast dedicated to reviewing...
CHELSEY: [00:00:37] ...reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious, scathing, and sometimes suspicious online reviews.
TREY: [00:00:48] And that's Chelsey Donn
CHELSEY: [00:00:49] and that's Trey Gerrald.
TREY: [00:00:51] And when we come together, we form
VOICEOVER: [00:00:54] The Review Queens.
CHELSEY: [00:00:58] How's your crown today, Trey?
TREY: [00:01:00] My crown is great today. It's feeling very pointy and spiky. It's a Monday and a little peek behind the curtain. Uh, we're recording episode five right now. We are launching the podcast on Wednesday. So we have less than 48 hours before it's launched into the world.
So it's a very exciting time and busy time, but yeah, I'm doing great. How are you?
CHELSEY: [00:01:27] I'm doing great. I just came from oh, a weekend in Ojai. And I am just, you know, more spiritual and relaxed than ever. So I feel good.
TREY: [00:01:38] Wait, so what's Ojai? Explain it to me. I don't really know.
CHELSEY: [00:01:41] Oh, Ojai is a part of town outside of LA.
It's like not very far, it's about an hour and a half or so away, and it's just a very spiritual location. You go there and you just want to be a better person and take in nature and look at the beautiful vistas and go to Meditation Mount, which is a huge mountain where you get to see just the sky and nature.
And it just makes all the trivial things that we deal with every day in life that get us down. It just makes it seem insignificant when compared to the beautiful, vast nature of Ojai. So I highly recommend it
TREY: [00:02:18] That sounds beautiful. Was there, um, any specific reasons...that you were on a trip over the weekend?
CHELSEY: [00:02:25] There might be a reason... it was my birthday, or, it is my birthday tomorrow in real time.
So I was going for my birthday.
TREY: [00:02:35] Oh my gosh. So when you're hearing this listeners, uh, her birthday was two weeks ago
CHELSEY: [00:02:40] No! When you're oh, yes. I guess when you're hearing this... It's true. My birthday is June 22nd, which happens to be the same birthday as Meryl Streep, which may or may not come up later in this episode.
TREY: [00:02:54] Well, my, I share a birthday March 14th with, um, an Instagram account of a dog that is following us. I saw that today, but also Albert Einstein and Taylor Hanson.
CHELSEY: [00:03:04] I love that for us.
TREY: [00:03:07] Okay. This is very positive and that's wonderful. But do you have any, um, complaints you want to lodge?
CHELSEY: [00:03:13] Always. I think that it's time that we...
VOICEOVER: [00:03:15] Lodge A Complaint.
CHELSEY: [00:03:17] I think....
VOICEOVER: [00:03:17] LODGE A COMPLAINT!
CHELSEY: [00:03:20] Let's Lodge A Complaint! Always feels so good when we do it. I'm gonna Lodge A Complaint today against bad To-Go Containers. I think. This is, , something that a lot of restaurant owners maybe don't pay enough attention to. And also I'm wondering why certain things haven't changed. For me, obviously the styrofoam, that's pretty offensive, you know, like you're just one small tear away from just the entire chicken Caesar salad, sitting all over your passenger's seat.
I don't know why that's still a thing, but for me, the worst offense is, you know, those. Foil ones that I'm sure they're like, so you can reheat your food. Like how nice. Right? Like I have a little device, but I also have to like unfold, like all the way around. And then if I want to like, do it again, then I have to like refold all the way down.
And if you get like the fold, even the littlest bit off that it's like gotta start all over again. And it's maddening and I just wish. I just wish someone would come out with a better To-Go container that could go in the oven if need be. That's also not styrofoam and not terrible for the environment.
And I think we've been sleeping at the wheel with the, To-Go containers. So whoever is out there and feel so inspired to be the inventor of the, To-Go container that every single restaurant is guaranteed to have on, on hand. That we're all gonna love, please, please do it because it's necessary.
TREY: [00:04:54] I hear you so hard on that.
And my favorite ones are the paper ones where they like fold in and you do have the little tab, like a cereal box, except when you accidentally tear that, there's no way to close it, but I hear your, I hear a point about you can't put it in the oven. It would catch fire.
CHELSEY: [00:05:09] Right. See, so it's like, we need more versatility,
TREY: [00:05:13] That's one of those tricky things about those, um, like Chinese takeout, things with the metal handles and you put it in the microwave and it stops...
it starts popping and you're like, oh, am I should have died? And only
CHELSEY: [00:05:25] speaking metal in the microwave is not a good thing.
TREY: [00:05:28] Never.
CHELSEY: [00:05:30] How about you? Do you have a complaint you want to lodge?
TREY: [00:05:33] I do. I definitely, I have a very timely complaint that I'm lodging
VOICEOVER: [00:05:39] Lodge A Complaint.
TREY: [00:05:41] I don't know if you can see behind me, Chelsey.
I you'll see this on the YouTube, I suppose, but I hung this 240 LED light curtain for the listener, you know, it's, they're like really stupid and cheap. It's like very Instagrammy it's like a college dorm. Attire, you know, they're just like little string lights.
CHELSEY: [00:06:03] Like Christmas lights.
TREY: [00:06:04] Yeah. They're like tinier, micro Christmas lights. Basically. I put them on this accent wall. Cause I thought, oh, this will be so cute. When I'm recording the podcast, there'll be some bright color behind me. But this wall is full of picture frames with like motivational things because I need that. So in order for the length to be correct, I had to string it underneath some of the major... here I can just show you some of the major posters.
CHELSEY: [00:06:29] Oh, that's major.
TREY: [00:06:30] I spent time doing this, I have six of those little, like, what do you call those? Those little like tape or the little, like things where you pull the tape and it doesn't scratch off the wall.
CHELSEY: [00:06:41] Command strips.
TREY: [00:06:42] Yeah. Command. That's right.
So, okay. I have six of those. I did it. I had to reconfigure all the frames and then I put the batteries in the thing doesn't work. 240 of these lights. This is from the company Brookstone, which we all love to go into a Brookstone in the mall. Um, but I guess Brookstone, I'm complaining. Don't go into this frontier of light bulbs.
I think you need to stick with your massage chairs. You're like amazing flight apparatus for comfort, but leave the, leave this to someone else I'm devastated. And, uh, my, my day has been ruined. So I'm lodging a complaint against Brookstone and companies that stretch outside of their target demo.
CHELSEY: [00:07:26] I feel I'm my, my apologies.
That sounds like really frustrating. And I'm sorry, you had to deal with that. I will say that I think in the future, If ever something like this will happen, you're likely going to check the light first
TREY: [00:07:42] It was definitely a learning experience,
CHELSEY: [00:07:44] a learning experience,
TREY: [00:07:46] but it's really even more complicated than I'm even explaining because it's, um, each little hanging section is in its own little bread, twisty tie because they get like, totally like, um, fumbled up against each other.
The only way to hang out was to like, hang it appropriately and then undo it. And then you have to stretch it. Cause then they like pop out and then they get into the strings that are hanging. It's a whole thing.
CHELSEY: [00:08:09] Wow. I wonder if like, wasn't it, isn't that a thing with Christmas lights where like, if one of the kinks in the chain is broken and the whole thing is just like, Not going to work.
TREY: [00:08:20] Yes. And to Brookstone credit, there is like a hanging extra light bulb, but none of them are crunched or broken. So I have no idea which one and there's 240. So I'm not going to go through individually. It's like not worth it. It was like $12. Yeah. Right. No way. Anyway. So that's my complaint.
CHELSEY: [00:08:39] I mean, complaint heard. And, my apologies. That sounds very, very frustrating. I think we've had enough of us complaining and I think it's time for us to hear some other people complaining, what do you think?
TREY: [00:08:54] I love the idea
CHELSEY: [00:08:58] So glad that we agree. As you guys know, we are your trusty Review Queens. We each bring in a review from the internet that we feel needs to be inspected.
We will read that review. We will break it down and then we will rate the impact of the review on a scale from one to five crowns. It's a very Regal process that we call,
VOICEOVER: [00:09:19] Assess That Kvetch
TREY: [00:09:21] But Chelsey, for all of the listeners who don't know the dying language of Yiddish, what does that word mean?
CHELSEY: [00:09:27] First of all, let's keep Yiddish alive.
Okay. It's wonderful language that I love.
TREY: [00:09:33] It only lives through the generation
CHELSEY: [00:09:35] and there's just some things, it just sounds better in Yiddish, like 'Kvetch', which is a way better way of saying complain, because like, it just sounds better, you know, like, "Oy! Stop. Kvetching so much."
TREY: [00:09:50] Gesundheit!
CHELSEY: [00:09:51] I didn't sneeze
TREY: [00:09:53] I know my father-in-law always says, "Guzi, guzunt!"
Yiddish! All right.
CHELSEY: [00:10:02] Who's first, today.
TREY: [00:10:03] You will be first, last week we did the one and the five, and the week before that I went first. So you will be first today.
CHELSEY: [00:10:11] Oh my goodness. Okay.
TREY: [00:10:12] So with that, take it away. You Review Queen.
VOICEOVER: [00:10:17] Review That Review.
CHELSEY: [00:10:22] All right. I have a review today from Ashley B and Ashley B is reviewing on Amazon a, what I believe to be, like a fake Squatty Potty, like, you know, not the trademarked Squatty Potty, but a variety of, of the Squatty Potty.
This is Ashley BS review.
TREY: [00:10:44] What is this? What is a Squatty potty? I'm curious for your explanation,
CHELSEY: [00:10:49] For those of you listening, don't watch shark tank regularly or indulge in, you know, bathroom, a couture Mon, if you will. Uh, the spotty potty is a, like a step stool that tucks into the toilet. And if you're having problems.
Going to the bathroom. As some of us are prone to have, no judgment, you can just let this little step stool out in front of your feet and you can get your body into a proper squat, just like the cave men. And your experience will be much easier and less stress. So it really took off on shark tank.
It's doing phenomenally well, and I hear that generally speaking people are very pleased, but maybe it's a bit pricey. And I think this was a bit of a cheaper. Option, but sometimes as they say, you get what you pay for. So let's see what Ashley B has to say about this faux Squatty Potty. Okay. She said change the product since summer now.
It's crap. That's the title. Very witty Ashley be okay. If I had been leaving this review in June of this year, I would have easily given it five stars. In fact, we loved it so much. My husband and I ordered a new one as soon as we could for our downstairs bathroom. Unfortunately, due to finances, we didn't get the second one until today. I was excited and put it together immediately, but I could already tell it was different. The screws don't sit flush on the new one. So putting the caps over them make, make it look silly. They also put a new logo on it. That looks way less sleek and way more infomercial-esque. They're still advertising in the pictures, the pretty sleek version from before. I would not have ordered this version, if I would've known how bad it looks, super disappointed. I added pictures to show the differences between the two.
TREY: [00:13:01] Wow. Ashley B is not happy with this crappy product.
CHELSEY: [00:13:08] Actually, B is really pissed that her Squatty Faux Potty is not flush.
TREY: [00:13:18] Ashley B wants to take this product. Down into the Sewers and the gutters where it belongs.
CHELSEY: [00:13:26] Just flush that product right down the proverbial drain. Ashley B.
TREY: [00:13:32] She's so mad she needs. She's going to have a diaper rash. I don't know. I don't know.
CHELSEY: [00:13:37] Don't get a hemorhoid. I don't know. What else do we....
TREY: [00:13:42] Oy Gavelt!
CHELSEY: [00:13:42] Oy Gavelt, All right. Ashley B. Ashley B has photographic evidence. Let's just say that first and foremost. I know that obviously you guys can't see what I see, but basically what I'm seeing in this photo is that the screw is not flush.
It's just, it's not in the proper spot. So what we have is a little bit of a raising of a lip. On top, and we just, we don't have a solid place to put our feet. Now. It doesn't really look like something that would impede my experience of this item. If anything, I'd say like a little bit of an eyesore. I'd rather things be flush as well. But I don't know, like it's seems like it would still serve a purpose to me.
TREY: [00:14:25] Do you think that that is Ashley B's fault? With which the construction of them screwing it together, or do you think it's actually the manufacturer? Like, it's not like,
CHELSEY: [00:14:37] um...
TREY: [00:14:39] because Ikea, you know, you make it yourself, but sometimes you, some people make it better than other people.
CHELSEY: [00:14:45] I think there's a, there's a high possibility that, you know, whoever was making the, the area for the screw to go in, in the factory did, in fact, you know, maybe they sneezed or something before they, you know, executed the hole, I think if it happens right. Where, where things aren't lined up correctly. So I don't know that it's. It's necessarily Ash Ashley B's construction that send it off, especially considering this was the first, the second go round. Rather like we've done this before.
TREY: [00:15:15] Good Point. The bulk of this review is so reminiscent of your complaint that you lodged a couple of weeks ago about the False Advertising in the packaging, which happened to you with the Rite-Aid thing.
CHELSEY: [00:15:28] Yeah.
TREY: [00:15:29] That is very maddening. Like if the, um, product gets tweaked, but there's not enough marketing budgets to reshoot the new images.
CHELSEY: [00:15:39] Yeah.
TREY: [00:15:40] Then I do believe that's false advertising and I would be mad about that, too.
CHELSEY: [00:15:45] Yeah, I think I would be pretty mad. I mean, I think, you know, we all buy a lot of products on Amazon, I guess.
And sometimes you find a winner you know, and you want to order another one or you want to get a gift for a friend, cause you're like, this is a real winner. I'm going to order a second one. I think it would be upsetting if the consistency wasn't there. So.
TREY: [00:16:05] Agreed. When was this review, by the way?
CHELSEY: [00:16:07] I feel for Ashley B, this is recent. A lot of people did invest in Squatty Potties over the pandemic because we were spending a lot more time at home. So this was written in October 14th, 2020,
TREY: [00:16:20] because see, that was going to be my question. If it's recent, I wonder if there was an issue with manufacturing because of the global pandemic that was occurring?
CHELSEY: [00:16:28] Could be. Yeah. And if, and maybe a lot of people really were ordering this product more than usual. And so they really had to churn them out so to speak.
TREY: [00:16:38] Oh my gosh...
CHELSEY: [00:16:39] Could be good. I mean, we're not going to stop with the bathroom puns, right?
TREY: [00:16:45] You know, I, I do come across reviews like this often, specifically on Amazon where something happens as production continues. So I really think that this is a very valuable review because Ashley B, this is a returning customer and is pointing out that it is not consistent, the product you're receiving. My like, back and forth of that is sort of like, well, if you don't want to spend the money or if you don't have the financial means, which Ashley communicated. Then, you have to get a product that you have to assemble because the actual Squatty Potty is not as, is not requiring of assemby.
CHELSEY: [00:17:23] No Assembly Required.
TREY: [00:17:24] I actually think this is really valuable that Ashley has put this information in front of my face before I click Add To Cart.
CHELSEY: [00:17:32] I agree. I also really like agree and that I, I liked that she disclosed us that due to finances, you know, she couldn't get a second one until today. I feel like that really emphasizes her excitement, which she said she was so excited to get this second product. It was like, I was saving up for it. I loved the first one. Like I imagine her and her her, her and her husband. Using the same bathroom and then just like waiting for the moment that they're going to have both bathrooms with the, with this Squatty Faux-ty in it.
TREY: [00:18:05] I thought of that too, because she, our Ashley B says that they assembled it as soon as they could, which went back to my original point about, was it whose fault was it that it didn't line up, but there is something that makes me feel like Ashley B's being very truthful and the fact that they disclose, you know, we wanted to get it as soon as possible, but we couldn't because of finances. Like, I, I feel like Ashley's being very transparent. They're not trying to be bougie. They're not trying. Like lie upwards. They're saying this is my circumstance and this is like what I got and that's incorrect and bad. So therefore, if I had written this in June, it would have been great. This is what's happening now. And you should know, buyer beware. So I appreciate that. And I really receive it as truthful.
CHELSEY: [00:18:52] I agree. I also wanted to point out the whole logo thing. Like I'm a big stickler for that. If your logo is going to be on my product, it better be like small and sleek and just blend in with the design in a way that's not offensive. I wouldn't want any product in my home that had, as Ashley B points out, an infomercial-esque logo on it. Like I'm not a salesman for you, I'm just trying to use your product.
TREY: [00:19:23] I do think that I thought there would be more humor in the review based on the subject of, "This is crap!"
CHELSEY: [00:19:30] Yes.
TREY: [00:19:31] So I did feel a little let down in the humor entertainment area, although I was intrigued and I wasn't bored.
CHELSEY: [00:19:38] I agree. I had high hopes for the bathroom puns from the title. I don't think we got as many as of them as I thought we were going to get, but I did think that, Ashley wanted to get down to brass tacks and just let us know.
TREY: [00:19:54] And like, we, you and I did it, but like, it's sort of like stupid and like obvious to just like write a bunch of bathroom puns, you know, like, I, it kind of makes me appreciate the review more, that they're just not going for the low-hanging fruit.
CHELSEY: [00:20:08] I agree, but like, I think that in just being truthful to what it takes to be a true Queen, we do have to point out like I wasn't cackling.
TREY: [00:20:20] No,
CHELSEY: [00:20:20] You know, I wouldn't like necessarily be like, oh guys, let me read you this review around the campfire so that like, we can have a good chuckle.
TREY: [00:20:28] I'm really, um, finding myself on Ashley B's side here. Tell me, does it look like Ashley B hit spellcheck, before they submitted?
CHELSEY: [00:20:36] Ashley b definitely hit spellcheck. She's, in my guess, at least college educated. She used quotes properly. punctuation, all great. Commas. Periods. Just... appropriate to... difference between the to, too. So I do think Ashley clicked spellcheck maybe even has Grammarly.
TREY: [00:21:00] Hmm. What do you think the, is there an impact here for you? It's a deal breaker. I think it's kind of a, I think it's kind of a deal breaker for me.
CHELSEY: [00:21:08] I think that's sort of a deal breaker. I wouldn't want a subpar product and I would trust somebody that's ordered it twice to be able to say that things aren't the same. I think at very least I might do a little bit more research. Maybe reach out to the seller and say, I've heard this product is good. I probably wouldn't do that. That's not true. I would just click onto the next one. Let's be honest.
TREY: [00:21:27] That's what I would do too, yeah. All right. I think I'm ready to crown this.
CHELSEY: [00:21:30] Me too!
TREY: [00:21:31] All right. So in order to be fair and not influenced by one another Chelsey and I each have our own set of one to five crown cards. So we will simultaneously reveal our rating.
THEME SONG: [00:21:47] The Queens are Tabulating
TREY: [00:21:49] alright, You ready to show?
CHELSEY: [00:21:51] Okay. I am ready.
TREY: [00:21:54] I have a feeling. I have a feeling how this is gonna go.
CHELSEY: [00:21:56] Okay, well, let's see.
VOICEOVER: [00:22:02] Total score.
TREY: [00:22:03] Four, four. That's what I thought. Unanimous.
CHELSEY: [00:22:07] Unanimous. Four crowns. Trey. Why did you give Ashley B four crowns?
TREY: [00:22:13] Honestly, because humor-wise is a little low, but they started with a joke in the title. So for that, love it. To the point! They were self, humbling rather than self-aggrandizing, which I appreciated. Maybe don't have to click see more. It's just to the point there's images, there's evidence of the product. Previous buyer. Therefore, I think I would probably not purchase this. I would scroll to see like other competitors and I would definitely be looking through other reviews to see if other people have had this experience. So that's why I gave Ashley before crowns for this fake Squatty Potty.
CHELSEY: [00:22:47] Yeah. I'm with you ditto to everything that you just said, and also. I believe that Ashley was a real person that had this experience. that's important to me when I'm reading a review that I feel like there's a real human being on the other side of this. Not some like angry person on the internet or like someone that's a bot or someone that's insider baseball. This sounded like this was a real person. So Ashley B. Good job. Four crowns.
TREY: [00:23:17] Woo. That was fun. Let's take a quick little break. And then when we come back, we can play with Meryl, before we jump into my review of the week.
CHELSEY: [00:23:25] Woo. Be right back
TREY: [00:23:27] BRBsy,
VOICEOVER: [00:23:30] Hold your crown. We'll be right back.
TREY: [00:23:41] Hey Review Queens. It's Chelsey and Trey here. We are having a raffle. If you write a review for this podcast.
CHELSEY: [00:23:50] Yeah. It's super exciting. And the best part is you could win a very glamorous Review That Review fashion, honey, enamal pin.
TREY: [00:23:59] It's perfect for a hot date, you know, and you're totally rad pimped out. Denim vest.
CHELSEY: [00:24:05] Pop the bling on.
TREY: [00:24:07] But wait, there's more. We are also throwing into the prize package of very deluxe Review That Review ballpoint pen, honey.
CHELSEY: [00:24:16] Oh my God. Stop it. It's perfect for writing those first drafts of your five star reviews.
TREY: [00:24:22] All right. So here's how you enter. If you leave us a five star review on apple podcasts, take a quick screenshot. Email us the proof at email@example.com
CHELSEY: [00:24:33] And we made it super easy with a super cute link. Lovethepodcast.com/thereviewqueens.
TREY: [00:24:41] There's also a one-click link in the show description below. It's easy-peasy, beautiful, Review Queens.
CHELSEY: [00:24:46] Yes. Happy reviewing.
TREY: [00:24:48] Now back to the show.
Now a warning?! All right. We're back from the break. And here we are. It's time to take a quick spin on the Meryl-Go-Round. Chelsey, strap into that whale.
VOICEOVER: [00:25:15] I don't feel like an icon, most days, I feel like 'I can't!'
That's with an A.
CHELSEY: [00:25:25] I like how in this Meryl-Go-Round there's whales.
TREY: [00:25:28] Yeah. I thought that might be like a possibility. Like you sit on that fan, maybe?
CHELSEY: [00:25:32] I totally got what you were saying surprisingly, or maybe not surprisingly at this point. Strap into your alligator, this, this Meryl-Go-Round has all kinds of crazy animals.
TREY: [00:25:44] Wait, I have a really funny dad joke.
CHELSEY: [00:25:46] Tell me.
TREY: [00:25:47] How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?
CHELSEY: [00:25:51] How?
TREY: [00:25:52] Ask and find out which one we'll see you later and which one will see after a while.
CHELSEY: [00:25:57] Oh, wow. Wow. Maybe I'll use that one on my nephew. I think he'll like it. He's five.
TREY: [00:26:04] Yeah, I think it will be a hit. Okay. Anyway, so here's the deal, Chelsea and I each pick a rotten scathing, pithy one star zinger. And with 30 seconds on the clock, we take turns trying to recite the zinger and as many possible genres...
CHELSEY: [00:26:21] just like Queen Meryl, who does everything
TREY: [00:26:25] ...before the clock runs out.
Okay. This is going to be fun for me.
CHELSEY: [00:26:29] Okay.
TREY: [00:26:29] So I have a apple podcast review.
CHELSEY: [00:26:33] Great
TREY: [00:26:34] For a podcast called Goodnight, World featuring the beloved Sesame Street character, Elmo, but this is a one-star review and it says, I want to hear Elmo moan.
CHELSEY: [00:26:53] I'm like already nervous. Can I be like completely transparent,
TREY: [00:26:57] Like, what the f?!
CHELSEY: [00:27:00] Also just like in the amount of genres you're going to have to do this and I can't wait. It's going to be great.
TREY: [00:27:05] Oy! All right, so, here we go.
CHELSEY: [00:27:08] All right. Are you ready?
TREY: [00:27:09] I'm ready. I'm ready.
CHELSEY: [00:27:10] Okay.
Hi, want to hear Elmo Mo
Tom Angeles. I
VOICEOVER: [00:27:22] want to hear Elmo theater. Hi.
THEME SONG: [00:27:33] Do you want to hear Elmo
VOICEOVER: [00:27:40] pop star? I wanna hear
CHELSEY: [00:27:44] Trey! That was so good.
TREY: [00:27:49] How many? How many?!
CHELSEY: [00:27:51] I really think that might be a personal best. Was that seven or sex? Let me count. Okay.
TREY: [00:27:57] I don't know, but I hate singing and I hate karaoke, but I really enjoy vocalizing in this game.
CHELSEY: [00:28:02] Trey. That was six! Epic job.
TREY: [00:28:06] Whoa!
CHELSEY: [00:28:07] Wow. Impressed.
TREY: [00:28:09] All right, your turn. What is your zinger today?
CHELSEY: [00:28:13] Okay. My zinger for the day is from Google reviews. It is a one star review from NA Yan, Wu of the Wilson and Harding golf courses here in Los Angeles. NA says so busy give up exercise.
TREY: [00:28:38] What? Okay... Great!
CHELSEY: [00:28:44] So busy give up exercise
TREY: [00:28:48] Is golfing exercising?
CHELSEY: [00:28:49] I always thought golfing was more social then exercise.
TREY: [00:28:53] I thought it was a sport. Okay. Well, whatever. All right. Good job.
CHELSEY: [00:28:57] No, it's just, I guess it's a sport, but like don't you ride around in a golf cart and stuff either way. I'm just distracting. Cause I am nervous, but let's not waste any more time.
TREY: [00:29:06] All right. How are we go.
Strap, strap into that whale honey.
CHELSEY: [00:29:10] Got put into that whale.
TREY: [00:29:11] AlrIght here we go.
busy. Give up exercise
VOICEOVER: [00:29:23] busy.
THEME SONG: [00:29:24] Give up
VOICEOVER: [00:29:26] pop star.
CHELSEY: [00:29:35] give up.
TREY: [00:29:38] Disney
Eww, that was cutting it close.
CHELSEY: [00:29:50] That was cutting it close.
TREY: [00:29:53] Let's see 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and then the Yankee was six. So.
So it's a tie. I almost want to give the one to you cause you have like a clean.
let's just take a bow together.
CHELSEY: [00:30:07] Okay. You're right.
TREY: [00:30:11] It's just a game. It's not that serious.
CHELSEY: [00:30:13] It's not that serious. Yes. But I almost like, I don't know, got a little bit of a stomach stitch stepping out of that whale, but I'm okay. I'm all right. In case anyone was concerned.
TREY: [00:30:24] And the alligator was very snappy.
CHELSEY: [00:30:27] Oh, you with the dad jokes today. I love it. It's great.
VOICEOVER: [00:30:33] Review that review.
CHELSEY: [00:30:37] Okay. We are back from that rousing game break. And it's your turn Trey? Where is your review from this week?
TREY: [00:30:44] Al right, so this is from TripAdvisor.
CHELSEY: [00:30:49] Okay.
TREY: [00:30:50] So it's a one dot review from Dan R for the Richard Rogers theater. In New York city, it's a Broadway house, which is currently a holding...what show, Chels, do you know?
CHELSEY: [00:31:04] Um, no. What show is at Richard Rogers.
TREY: [00:31:07] It's just little, little, little small production called Hamliton.
CHELSEY: [00:31:13] Oh, right. I saw it there. I just didn't remember that that was Richard Rogers.
TREY: [00:31:19] Alright, and this is the review...
CHELSEY: [00:31:21] and is it, am I allowed to ask upfront if it's about a specific show or is it about the theater itself?
TREY: [00:31:28] You're going to find out, real quick.
CHELSEY: [00:31:29] I'm about to find out. All right. I'm getting ahead of myself. All right. Let's hear from Dan R
TREY: [00:31:33] I, but that's a great question, actually. Okay. Okay. Smallest theater seats. Beware. After seeing Hamilton, my email to their customer service.
I want to express my extreme displeasure regarding my family's visit to your Richard Rogers theater, last week. We waited caps months to see Hamilton with great anticipation only to be completely disappointed with the incredibly small seats we had purchased. We sat in the mezzanine parentheses, R mez, end parentheses row, D seats 6, 8, 10, and 12. The seats were so small that my knees were pressed firmly against the wooden barrier in front of me.
There was no opportunity to shift in any way. It was physically painful. We considered leaving. My mother-in-law who is 89, had to sit on an angle to fit and her hip is still bothering her three days after the show. My wife is five, four, and she could not move her legs either. We feel that this row was added as a retrofit.
I can't imagine that every seat has the same dimensions. Had these seats been identified as small, we would have never purchased them. We find it so disconcerting that we left the show, knowing that the performance was incredible, but the pain of these seats totally distracted us from enjoying the show.
Intermission and the end of the show were welcomed relief. I am asking that you consider this email as an opportunity. We'd like to see the show again, and we'd like to have house seats. I think this is fair and hope that you do as well. I look forward to hearing from someone in your organization to resolve this matter, enter, enter. They responded saying, sorry, you were uncomfortable.
That's it. Dot, dot, dot. I will never. Go there again. That's for sure.
CHELSEY: [00:33:46] Wow. Dan R, I have to be honest. I feel Dan R's pain.
TREY: [00:33:53] I mean, the seats at Broadway houses are from like the 1910s. So they are very small. That is very common. I just, I have to interrupt to point out.
CHELSEY: [00:34:05] Yes.
TREY: [00:34:06] That Dan R purchased tickets in the rear mezzanine and is requesting house seats, which is fifth row center, which are literally impossible to receive for Hamilton.
This review was written in 2015. We've been shut down because of the pandemic, but, you can not get house seats and they're certainly not giving you free house seats when you've already seen the show. And you bought Reger mezzanine seats. Sorry. I'm sorry.
CHELSEY: [00:34:37] Can I tell you like a little like secret that I'm announcing on the podcast? I saw Hamilton in the house seats. I did.
TREY: [00:34:48] Do you think that that was a better seat than purchasing a seats in rear mezz row D seat six eight, ten, and twelve?
CHELSEY: [00:34:57] I think, and I know from personal experience that it was night and day, you have to know somebody, you know, to get them or be a friend of, you know, someone in the casts or, you know, have connections, which I was connected with somebody in the show.
So that's how I was sitting there, but I've spent a lot of time in the rear mezzanine. I'm not always fancy and I'm a. You know, larger, full, figured, beautiful woman. And they, you know, they did make them smaller back then. I think it's the food preservatives, but that's a whole nother discussion. Okay.
TREY: [00:35:31] I agree!
CHELSEY: [00:35:32] they really should renovate the seats.
TREY: [00:35:35] So I picked this review because I'm really of two minds here.
CHELSEY: [00:35:39] Yeah.
TREY: [00:35:39] To the point about the house seats, like how seats are the last tickets to go on sale because they hold them until the performance for anyone in the company. So that's how those work.
CHELSEY: [00:35:49] Right.
TREY: [00:35:50] And I recognize that it costs more money to not be in the rear mezzanine. So I'm not trying to make a classist point here, but I just have a, I personally. Have a thing that I cannot buy in the rear mezzanine because it's a horrible seat. So, I mean, you just can't see anything. I mean, the amount of times I've seen shows that far back it's like, terrible because they're little ants. There are many crafty ways in which to get better seats. Anyway, we're sort of on a tangent here, but yes, I also agree that the seats in Broadway houses are teeny tiny and it really will ruin your experience when you're in one of these, I remember the Imperial where Les Miz played forever.
Literally those seats were so close. Like you would be, your knees would literally be touching the seats in front of you.
CHELSEY: [00:36:38] Yeah.
TREY: [00:36:39] But it sounds to me like Dan. Has made up a truth for himself that this row was retrofit.
CHELSEY: [00:36:49] I know, that was pretty funny,
TREY: [00:36:51] which like, I feels a little Kareny to me, but I'm actually going to pull up the Richard Rogers seating chart.
And I'm going to confirm that these seats, since they, Dan gave us the actual locations, those have been there for previous shows.
CHELSEY: [00:37:08] Oh, good research. Yeah. I think that that was kind of funny, but in terms of the rear mezzanine thing, it was so expensive to see and see Hamilton. At some point, even the cast got really upset and they were like, we need to put a cap on how much people are reselling.
These tickets for, even through TicketMaster, it was crazy the amount of money you would spend on a rear mezzanine seat. So I don't fault Dan R for sitting in the rear mezzanine. I think it was such a popular and it was and is such a popular show when was this written
TREY: [00:37:40] 2015?
CHELSEY: [00:37:41] Yeah. So like in 2015, this was the hottest ticket in town.
And to get any seat, if you had to do, I think my sister did standing room or something, I don't even, you know what I mean? Like there were things that you were doing to see the show people made a lot of, even if Dan are, doesn't normally sit in the rear Mezz I feel like you'd sit in the rear mezz to see Hamilton. That was just the kind of show that it was.
TREY: [00:38:05] Yeah.
CHELSEY: [00:38:05] I don't really fault him. I mean, yeah. Like it was sort of funny when he was like, you should give me house seats, but I think. The response should have been a little bit more than that on the one hand, on the other hand, like you, and I know this has been a problem for years, there's no way that Dan is the first person to say I was uncomfortable. I've had to contort my body into all kinds of shapes to see a Broadway show. And it is distracting.
TREY: [00:38:29] Mmm-hmm.
CHELSEY: [00:38:30] It does take away from the performance and what's happening on stage and your ability to enjoy it. When you're like my foot's asleep, I got to like re you know, it's definitely something that has to be addressed. And I'll say on the flip side, when I do go to a theater, that's been updated like a Broadway house that has been updated and has new seats. It is like, what a delight.
TREY: [00:38:52] Totally.
CHELSEY: [00:38:53] You know, it is worth the price of admission to have a good place to sit and enjoy live theater.
TREY: [00:38:59] I also really love that Dan are sent an email and then just copy pasted the email as a review on TripAdvisor.
CHELSEY: [00:39:07] I was going to laugh about that. That was the first thing that I wrote down. I was like my email, like I like circled it. And then also I wanted to be reminded, I think you said it already, but who did they, who did he send the email to again?
TREY: [00:39:21] Customer service. So I actually, I don't know if it went to the Shuberts, I'm wondering who customer service is. It might've been Telecharge,
CHELSEY: [00:39:29] That's what I mean, like, I wonder who customer service is because you would have to get to, to the Shuberts to make some change here. And I don't know that this email through customer service would have gotten there. So I do feel like Dan R. Was wanted to make sure that his email had more of an audience than just whoever received this on the customer service end of things, because what, 90% of that email, I mean, I had to present it that, that 90% of that review was an email?
TREY: [00:40:05] All of it, I mean, except for the first sentence in the last sentence, and I have to make a correction. It's not owned by the Shuberts it's owned by the Nederlander.
CHELSEY: [00:40:13] Hmm, the other royalty of broadway,
TREY: [00:40:16] I feel like JuJamson. Well, there are, who cares? We're in the weeds,
CHELSEY: [00:40:20] There's a handful of them. Anyway. Point is I agree with Dan R, I know that he's being truthful. I understand how upset he is. I would be upset too. If I waited two months to see a show and I was really excited about it and I couldn't enjoy the show because I was super uncomfortable. I want to validate that experience. I also want to validate the fact that Dan R wrote this review for the Richard Rogers theater and not Hamilton. You know, I think, I think he would have enjoyed the show more. I think he wanted to enjoy the show more. I think he's a patron of the arts and he really wanted to enjoy this production of Hamilton and the seating at the theater really. Impeded his ability to, you know, enjoy in this, this wonderful historical theater experience. And I think that this is an experience that it can be expected. I mean, if you're going to go to the theater, expect to be cramped.
TREY: [00:41:17] I was going to say that as well. Like I do think it's actually very valuable. I kind of went in hard about the rear mezzanine, which is sort of a tangent, but I remember I saw.
The Romeo and Juliet, the Romeo and Juliet with Orlando Bloom and Condola Rashad. And I was in the last row of the orchestra. And I couldn't see the balcony scene because the mezzanine overhangs row L and I was like in row KK or something. I couldn't see the balcony scene of Romeo and Juliet because the balcony was so low.
CHELSEY: [00:41:51] Yeah. I mean, I I've purchased...
TREY: [00:41:53] ...so, the theater has problems...
CHELSEY: [00:41:54] Yeah. I've purchased what they deem partial view seats. I saw Sweeney Todd behind a column. Like anything, anything that happened to the left or the right of the column, I could see. Any, any action that happened, right. Smack there, align with the column I just missed. I just missed that part.
TREY: [00:42:17] I wonder if, um, Broadway will take this opportunity to listen to Dan R since it's been shut down and do a little revamp with the seats.
CHELSEY: [00:42:24] I hope so. I mean, I do feel bad, like in the context of the world right now, and knowing how much Broadway is suffering. And so many people that depended on the livelihood of Broadway or are not able to work and I can't imagine that it's going to be in the budget for a while to make some of these renovations, but I do think it would behoove them to listen to the Dan Rs of the world.
TREY: [00:42:46] I just don't see it happening because it's all about money and like, you gotta sell seats, like the tighter, the seats are the more you fit and the more money you make. But I will say that Dan R has beautiful spelling, definitely crafted this to perfection.
CHELSEY: [00:43:01] I was going to say Dan R was giving me professor vibes.
TREY: [00:43:05] Disconcerting is such a good word.
CHELSEY: [00:43:07] Yeah. Professor Dan R.
TREY: [00:43:09] And we like, we both agree. This is very, a common experience with both have experiences like this. And I don't find this to be humorous as much as I wanted it to be.
CHELSEY: [00:43:17] Exactly. I mean, no, um, disrespect for, to your wonderful performance, which is always solid. And great. Just don't want you to think that the lack of humor had anything to do with you. It didn't. I just think it's not that funny of an issue. Like it's absolutely accurate and it's true. I wasn't laughing. I wasn't entertained, I wouldn't read it around a campfire, like I said, but I think it's truthful. Are we ready to crown this, you think?
TREY: [00:43:42] I think I'm ready. I also just want to say that I love that they took their 89 year old mother-in-law to see Hamilton.
CHELSEY: [00:43:48] Oh, I know that it sounds like it was a whole family affair, which is another reason why you got to buy the rear mez because seats are expensive.
TREY: [00:43:58] Yeah. It is. Especially that show. All right. So let's
CHELSEY: [00:44:01] Dan R. What a good son.
TREY: [00:44:03] All right. Let's crown it.
CHELSEY: [00:44:04] Let's do it.
THEME SONG: [00:44:07] The Queens are Tabulating.
TREY: [00:44:10] I'm a little conflicted, but all right. Are you ready?
CHELSEY: [00:44:12] Okay, I'm ready.
TREY: [00:44:16] Okay.
VOICEOVER: [00:44:18] Total Score!
TREY: [00:44:20] Yeah,
CHELSEY: [00:44:20] We did it again! It's a, it's a four crown kind of show.
TREY: [00:44:24] It's interesting because I feel like similarly, Dan R and Ashley B were just reporting how they were negatively impacted from being a purchasing customer, which like is like a real, it's a real issue. And I just, I do think it's kind of funny too, but Hey, squeaky wheel gets the grease and you never get what you don't ask for. So, If you want to, if Dan are wants to request that he is given house seats, then go for it. You know, manifest it baby.
CHELSEY: [00:44:57] I felt similarly. I think that Dan R was honest, again, felt like a real human to me, really felt for him with the whole family vibes and just the anticipation for two months of a wonderful event, similar to Ashley, you know, the anticipation of this faux Squatty Potty. He really was anticipating seeing Hamilton. And I think that he was being truthful in his assessment of the theater and what anyone can come to expect. So Dan R: Four crowns. Well-deserved
TREY: [00:45:30] I'm in agreement. All right, Chelsey, should we jump into the most Regal portion of our show? Who are you inducting for...?
VOICEOVER: [00:45:42] My Royal Highness
CHELSEY: [00:45:44] Okay. Well, I, stayed at the Capri hotel in Ojai.
TREY: [00:45:50] Wait. That sounds so chic.
CHELSEY: [00:45:52] I know it's not the like chicest, but it has the best energy. It's not the fanciest, but I love the Capri and mostly. someone that works there, I believe he's the general manager or his name is Jeff. And he was just lovely. In addition to serving me just like realness and compassion and just like not throwing a rule book in our faces about when we could use the hot tub, he really added value to my life. I think he should have a Ted Talk, but he doesn't want to because he prefers one-on-one interactions. And I just think that that's beautiful. And Jeff, thank you. And I almost like don't want to tell people in a way how great the Capri hotel is because it's like my Oasis and I don't want everybody to take it from me. But as a Review Queen, I feel compelled to let you know that you should go to the Capri hotel. It's so great. Yeah. And say hi to Jeff for me and everyone that works there is so welcoming when you go there, they actually like make it seem like they were waiting for you in a way that feels authentic. They're like, Chelsey, thanks for being here. Or like, oh, so good to see you. and so they're great. So Jeff, from the Capri hotel in Ojai, you are my Royall Highness.
TREY: [00:47:11] Wow! Congratulations, Jeff. That's a huge honor.
CHELSEY: [00:47:16] Yes, Trey. How about you? Who's your Royal Highness.
TREY: [00:47:18] Okay. So I'm trying something new for today. I found in my Royal Highness inductee that I don't actually know, but I found this story online.
There is a woman who turned 90 years old and her. granddaughter wanted to throw her a huge birthday celebration because she really missed her grandmother after being apart for so long and was really inspired by all of these baby photos, first birthdays, where the kids are wearing like tutus and crowns celebrating their first year. And so the granddaughter Stephanie thought, well, why can't I just do that for my 90 year old grandmother?
CHELSEY: [00:47:58] Awwww!
TREY: [00:47:59] Chelsey, she literally threw a princess themed party. This 90 year old woman is wearing a t-shirt that says. It took 90 years to look this good, she is in a huge rufflely tulle, pink, puffy Tutu. And she has a little, cock-eyed like 90 crown that's like glittery and
CHELSEY: [00:48:21] Queen!
TREY: [00:48:22] Totally queening vibes. And so that really touched my heart. So I am inducting both Stephanie and her G ma for my Royal Highness.
CHELSEY: [00:48:36] That's so special. I love this part of the show.
TREY: [00:48:39] It doesn't just like make you smile. Like she's 90 and she's wearing a Tutu.
CHELSEY: [00:48:43] Uh, we got to put her, we're going to put her on the Instagram or something so that everybody that's listening can experience G ma in all of her glory.
Shall we keep the regality flowing and read a Royal Review?
TREY: [00:48:57] Yes! I love this part. Let's do it!
CHELSEY: [00:48:59] Okay. All right. Well, every, so often we like to feature one of our very own reviews from listeners like you
TREY: [00:49:07] that's right. But a review from one of our listeners is not any ordinary review, honey. It's what we call a "Royal Review!"
VOICEOVER: [00:49:19] "Baby, it's time for some Royal Reviews!"
CHELSEY: [00:49:25] Okay. Well, this Royal Review is from JLHlistener108, who I have a feeling I know who this is. She gave us Five crowns and sh I mean, I'm giving it away cause I'm saying she, but, they said a little nervous. My review may end up on the show, but it's a worthy risk to take, to give Trey and Chelsey five crowns. These two crack me up and I can't wait to hear many more reviews, reviewed great concept. Great hosts.
TREY: [00:49:58] Awwww!
CHELSEY: [00:49:59] Isn't that so nice.
TREY: [00:50:01] Wow. Thank you, JLHlistener108!
CHELSEY: [00:50:05] That's Jenny Hoof. I gotta be, I gotta be real and call out my girl. Thank you, Jenny, who have my caught my freshman and sophomore year college roommate is the most supportive person ever.
And yeah. Phenomenal Pilates instructor and "Watch That Rock Pilates." I love you. And thank you so much for your sweets. Sweet review, hoof.
TREY: [00:50:29] I guarantee you
CHELSEY: [00:50:30] Or, JLHlistener108.
TREY: [00:50:32] I guarantee you, if you want to be read on Royal Reviews. Write a sentence that says I'm nervous that this is going to end up on the show because honey, I saw that and I was like, well, it has to happen.
CHELSEY: [00:50:44] I know I thought the same exact thing. So funny, speaking of, if you want to be featured on one of our Royal Reviews, then make sure you leave us a review right now.
TREY: [00:50:56] And if you hate the pod, you can hate review us with five stars. That'll really get our little goats.
CHELSEY: [00:51:03] We've made it super easy with a super cute link. Lovethepodcast.com/thereviewqueens.
TREY: [00:51:10] And there's also a one-click link in the show description below it's easy peasy, beautiful, Review Queens.
CHELSEY: [00:51:16] So easy. I can't wait to experience it myself.
TREY: [00:51:21] We did it. That's only now they're around in the books, Chels.
CHELSEY: [00:51:25] It's crazy. It feels like it's just flying by. I hope it feels the same way for you guys. Thank you guys for joining us today. If you like what you heard, please tell a friend,
TREY: [00:51:34] if you didn't like what you heard, tell an enemy. If you want to Lodge your own Complaint, Submit your own Review or share with the world who you would induct for My Royal Highness. Leave us a voicemail! Our a voicemail box number is 1-850-REVIEW-Zero.