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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 5: "Squat N’ Potty / Richard Rodgers Theater"

Updated: Sep 17, 2021



Transcript of Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald Episode 5 "Squat N’ Potty / Richard Rodgers Theater" for the differently abled and those who prefer to read.


Review That Review with Chelsey Donn and Trey Gerrald

Episode 5

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!


CHELSEY: [00:00:30] Hello!

TREY: [00:00:31] Hi. Hi, welcome to Review That Review, the podcast dedicated to reviewing...

CHELSEY: [00:00:37] ...reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious, scathing, and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

TREY: [00:00:48] And that's Chelsey Donn

CHELSEY: [00:00:49] and that's Trey Gerrald.

TREY: [00:00:51] And when we come together, we form

VOICEOVER: [00:00:54] The Review Queens.

CHELSEY: [00:00:58] How's your crown today, Trey?

TREY: [00:01:00] My crown is great today. It's feeling very pointy and spiky. It's a Monday and a little peek behind the curtain. Uh, we're recording episode five right now. We are launching the podcast on Wednesday. So we have less than 48 hours before it's launched into the world.

So it's a very exciting time and busy time, but yeah, I'm doing great. How are you?

CHELSEY: [00:01:27] I'm doing great. I just came from oh, a weekend in Ojai. And I am just, you know, more spiritual and relaxed than ever. So I feel good.

TREY: [00:01:38] Wait, so what's Ojai? Explain it to me. I don't really know.

CHELSEY: [00:01:41] Oh, Ojai is a part of town outside of LA.

It's like not very far, it's about an hour and a half or so away, and it's just a very spiritual location. You go there and you just want to be a better person and take in nature and look at the beautiful vistas and go to Meditation Mount, which is a huge mountain where you get to see just the sky and nature.

And it just makes all the trivial things that we deal with every day in life that get us down. It just makes it seem insignificant when compared to the beautiful, vast nature of Ojai. So I highly recommend it

TREY: [00:02:18] That sounds beautiful. Was there, um, any specific reasons...that you were on a trip over the weekend?

CHELSEY: [00:02:25] There might be a reason... it was my birthday, or, it is my birthday tomorrow in real time.

So I was going for my birthday.

TREY: [00:02:35] Oh my gosh. So when you're hearing this listeners, uh, her birthday was two weeks ago

CHELSEY: [00:02:40] No! When you're oh, yes. I guess when you're hearing this... It's true. My birthday is June 22nd, which happens to be the same birthday as Meryl Streep, which may or may not come up later in this episode.

TREY: [00:02:54] Well, my, I share a birthday March 14th with, um, an Instagram account of a dog that is following us. I saw that today, but also Albert Einstein and Taylor Hanson.

CHELSEY: [00:03:04] I love that for us.

TREY: [00:03:07] Okay. This is very positive and that's wonderful. But do you have any, um, complaints you want to lodge?

CHELSEY: [00:03:13] Always. I think that it's time that we...

VOICEOVER: [00:03:15] Lodge A Complaint.

CHELSEY: [00:03:17] I think....

VOICEOVER: [00:03:17] LODGE A COMPLAINT!

CHELSEY: [00:03:20] Let's Lodge A Complaint! Always feels so good when we do it. I'm gonna Lodge A Complaint today against bad To-Go Containers. I think. This is, , something that a lot of restaurant owners maybe don't pay enough attention to. And also I'm wondering why certain things haven't changed. For me, obviously the styrofoam, that's pretty offensive, you know, like you're just one small tear away from just the entire chicken Caesar salad, sitting all over your passenger's seat.

I don't know why that's still a thing, but for me, the worst offense is, you know, those. Foil ones that I'm sure they're like, so you can reheat your food. Like how nice. Right? Like I have a little device, but I also have to like unfold, like all the way around. And then if I want to like, do it again, then I have to like refold all the way down.

And if you get like the fold, even the littlest bit off that it's like gotta start all over again. And it's maddening and I just wish. I just wish someone would come out with a better To-Go container that could go in the oven if need be. That's also not styrofoam and not terrible for the environment.

And I think we've been sleeping at the wheel with the, To-Go containers. So whoever is out there and feel so inspired to be the inventor of the, To-Go container that every single restaurant is guaranteed to have on, on hand. That we're all gonna love, please, please do it because it's necessary.

TREY: [00:04:54] I hear you so hard on that.

And my favorite ones are the paper ones where they like fold in and you do have the little tab, like a cereal box, except when you accidentally tear that, there's no way to close it, but I hear your, I hear a point about you can't put it in the oven. It would catch fire.

CHELSEY: [00:05:09] Right. See, so it's like, we need more versatility,

TREY: [00:05:13] That's one of those tricky things about those, um, like Chinese takeout, things with the metal handles and you put it in the microwave and it stops...

it starts popping and you're like, oh, am I should have died? And only

CHELSEY: [00:05:25] speaking metal in the microwave is not a good thing.

TREY: [00:05:28] Never.

CHELSEY: [00:05:30] How about you? Do you have a complaint you want to lodge?

TREY: [00:05:33] I do. I definitely, I have a very timely complaint that I'm lodging

VOICEOVER: [00:05:39] Lodge A Complaint.

TREY: [00:05:41] I don't know if you can see behind me, Chelsey.

I you'll see this on the YouTube, I suppose, but I hung this 240 LED light curtain for the listener, you know, it's, they're like really stupid and cheap. It's like very Instagrammy it's like a college dorm. Attire, you know, they're just like little string lights.

CHELSEY: [00:06:03] Like Christmas lights.

TREY: [00:06:04] Yeah. They're like tinier, micro Christmas lights. Basically. I put them on this accent wall. Cause I thought, oh, this will be so cute. When I'm recording the podcast, there'll be some bright color behind me. But this wall is full of picture frames with like motivational things because I need that. So in order for the length to be correct, I had to string it underneath some of the major... here I can just show you some of the major posters.

CHELSEY: [00:06:29] Oh, that's major.

TREY: [00:06:30] I spent time doing this, I have six of those little, like, what do you call those? Those little like tape or the little, like things where you pull the tape and it doesn't scratch off the wall.

CHELSEY: [00:06:41] Command strips.

TREY: [00:06:42] Yeah. Command. That's right.

So, okay. I have six of those. I did it. I had to reconfigure all the frames and then I put the batteries in the thing doesn't work. 240 of these lights. This is from the company Brookstone, which we all love to go into a Brookstone in the mall. Um, but I guess Brookstone, I'm complaining. Don't go into this frontier of light bulbs.

I think you need to stick with your massage chairs. You're like amazing flight apparatus for comfort, but leave the, leave this to someone else I'm devastated. And, uh, my, my day has been ruined. So I'm lodging a complaint against Brookstone and companies that stretch outside of their target demo.

CHELSEY: [00:07:26] I feel I'm my, my apologies.

That sounds like really frustrating. And I'm sorry, you had to deal with that. I will say that I think in the future, If ever something like this will happen, you're likely going to check the light first

before...

TREY: [00:07:42] It was definitely a learning experience,

CHELSEY: [00:07:44] a learning experience,

TREY: [00:07:46] but it's really even more complicated than I'm even explaining because it's, um, each little hanging section is in its own little bread, twisty tie because they get like, totally like, um, fumbled up against each other.

The only way to hang out was to like, hang it appropriately and then undo it. And then you have to stretch it. Cause then they like pop out and then they get into the strings that are hanging. It's a whole thing.

CHELSEY: [00:08:09] Wow. I wonder if like, wasn't it, isn't that a thing with Christmas lights where like, if one of the kinks in the chain is broken and the whole thing is just like, Not going