Updated: Sep 17, 2021
Transcript of Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald Episode 6 "Wish.com / 12 foot Giant Inflatable Ball" for the differently abled and those who prefer to read.
Review That Review with Chelsey Donn and Trey Gerrald
THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.
Every Californian and Virginian.
It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.
Someone's gotta settle the score.
Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!
Whose views win, which ones lose.
Online haters are comin' for you!
Baby, it's time to Review That Review!
CHELSEY: [00:00:30] Hi.
TREY: [00:00:31] Hi! Hello, Chelsey!
CHELSEY: [00:00:34] Ugh, I fall more in love with that theme song every time we listen to it.
TREY: [00:00:38] It really is fun.
CHELSEY: [00:00:39] It really is. We're the luckiest!
TREY: [00:00:41] Oh my gosh. Hello listeners. Welcome to Review That Review. We are the podcasts dedicated to reviewing...
CHELSEY: [00:00:47] ...reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious, scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.
TREY: [00:01:00] That's Chelsey Donn,
CHELSEY: [00:01:01] And that's Trey Gerrald.
TREY: [00:01:03] And together we are...
VOICEOVER: [00:01:05] The Review Queens.
CHELSEY: [00:01:09] My crown is bronze and polished and ready to go.
TREY: [00:01:13] It looks so gorgeous. Those, um, gorgeous gemstones, their blo... ow. Ow they're blinding me.
CHELSEY: [00:01:21] Oh my God.
TREY: [00:01:22] How's your week been, Chels?
CHELSEY: [00:01:24] My week has actually been great. I had my birthday, I celebrated my birthday. I got to see people in person and hug friends that I haven't seen in over a year. I got to actually hug my friends. It was so nice. And, I went to another friend's birthday and I met new people and I went to a Dodgers game.
So. It's like both the most bizarre thing to be seeing so many people and also such a blessing. so I feel great. How was your week? Trey?
TREY: [00:01:54] I had a good week, another great week, living life, breathing air. In real time, we've just launched last Wednesday. And, uh, so it's been a very exciting fun week, uh, with a lot of correspondences and, it's been a great, great week. I am happy to be alive.
CHELSEY: [00:02:13] Yes, we should all remember how lucky we are. And with that in mind
TREY: [00:02:18] Yes.
CHELSEY: [00:02:19] In leaning into gratitude and remembering how very lucky we are. I think it's time for us to.
VOICEOVER: [00:02:26] Lodge A Complaint.
TREY: [00:02:29] Well, I'm ready. I'll start.
CHELSEY: [00:02:31] Please get us, get us going.
TREY: [00:02:33] All right. Today, the complaint I'm going to be lodging is for something very obnoxious. It is "Cash Only" anything. I hate when you go to a restaurant, when you go anywhere, if it is not a garage sale, if they are cash only, that is so obnoxious to me. Now I understand you as the vendor have to pay a fee for credit cards.
CHELSEY: [00:03:02] True.
TREY: [00:03:02] Okay. It is 2021. It is, that is a cost of business who is "Cash Only" anymore? That, that is so obnoxious to me being told, oh, cash only. No, if you cannot pay the 2% fee for swiping the square, then I don't know something that is just whack. It's a wack job to not accept credit cards.
CHELSEY: [00:03:32] I get it. Now, the worst is when you get to the place, you didn't know that it was cash only. You didn't bring any cash now what? It's terrible.
TREY: [00:03:41] We went on a double date with, my brother and sister-in-law and we knew it was a "Cash Only" restaurant. And when she called to make the reservation and they were like, remember it's cash only. And every single page of the menu was cash only it said at the bottom. And they have an ATM inside $7 and 50 cent fee.
CHELSEY: [00:03:59] Stop it that's wrong.
TREY: [00:04:02] so then I'm thinking like, okay, so you paid for this ATM machine that you can make profit off of which. Great! Do your thing, but it's obnoxious to me. Like, I just think that it's very bizarre to like, be running a business and not be doing like even in Alabama, like my ex step-mom. She had a booth at you know, it was yeah, like a vendor fair where you could set up a booth and sell things. And those people had square machines to run credit cards. Like how are you a business in Manhattan? And what has also been really fabulous in this pandemic shutdown is a lot of places stopped even taking cash. Cause we thought that was dangerous and scary.
CHELSEY: [00:04:44] I know I was going to say that, like, I actually. I, I tend to carry around cash. I go to the farmer's market every week. I like that cash exchange. I know, call me. We are in, I like enjoy being like, where did you, where did these eggs come from? Tell me a little bit about this chicken. I want to know what they, where they've come from. Here's $20. Thanks for the eggs. I mean, and then they give me change, but there have been a lot of places where it's no cash now.
TREY: [00:05:10] To me. I,
CHELSEY: [00:05:10] You're about it.
TREY: [00:05:12] I just think like, I'm just not a cash person, that's it.
CHELSEY: [00:05:15] I get it.
TREY: [00:05:16] Like, so therefore BYE! Anyway...
CHELSEY: [00:05:17] I do think eventually we're not going to have cash anymore, right?
TREY: [00:05:23] Yeah. All right. It's like this cryptocurrency or whatever they're trying to do.
CHELSEY: [00:05:26] Yeah. That, or it's just like, you'll just have a balance and we'll just ding the, I dunno, Apple's going to do it. And we're all gonna just jump on board. Like we always do.
TREY: [00:05:35] So that's my complaint. Uh, if you are a cash only establishment consider jumping in to the times.
CHELSEY: [00:05:43] It's an option.
TREY: [00:05:44] Exactly. Chelsey, what about you? Do you have any complaint you want to lodge?
CHELSEY: [00:05:47] Yeah, I, you know, have something I'd like to get off my chest. I don't know if anyone else experiences this, but my bath is very slippery, slippery bath. It's a, it's a bath shower combo. And for whatever reason, it's just, it's very slippery. And I feel I put my life in God's hands every time I step into the bath and I've tried to buy non-slip mats for my bath. And in my experience, it makes it worse. Often I feel, you know, it's like I went from just surfing to now. I'm like, I dunno, snowboarding on top of the bath because now I have like a, a thing that I'm negotiating and it makes it worse. And what I would truly love. Is if there's anyone listening, who's had this experience who feels my pain and who's found a solution, please leave a voicemail and let me know, because I've been living my life like this for way too long, and somebody's got to help. Someone's got to do something about the slippery baths and that's my complaint.
TREY: [00:06:57] It's a really good complaint. Have you? Um, I remember like my grandmother back in the day, she had like individual like sandpaper, scruffy things. It wasn't like a, like, suction terrible.
CHELSEY: [00:07:11] Those don't work.
TREY: [00:07:12] it was like sandpaper little like animals that you could put individually. Have you tried those?
CHELSEY: [00:07:18] Yeah. When I was a kid, my grandfather put those in our bath and I do think that was the most successful one. now that I'm so reviews crazy, every time I go on Amazon even find something like that, I'm like, I don't think they make them as well as they used to. You know, my thought.
TREY: [00:07:36] there was probably some chemical that kills us that they used back then...
CHELSEY: [00:07:39] Exactly. Right. Anyway, I'm all worked up about this.
TREY: [00:07:44] I hear you. And, um, I I'm definitely a bath person. So I don't like having the mats at the bottom. You know, like my nephew, they bathe him every night and they have to take the suction mat off every night it mildews, if you leave it,
CHELSEY: [00:08:00] Yeah. I know it like grows something. A science
TREY: [00:08:04] people need to, um, we keep pitching these Shark ideas. Here's another one.
CHELSEY: [00:08:10] Yeah. If you're an inventor and you're listening to this, you're welcome.
TREY: [00:08:14] oh, wait, hold on. Hold on. My phone's buzzing. Hold on.
CHELSEY: [00:08:17] Okay. Sure.
VOICEOVER: [00:08:18] Listener voicemail!
CHELSEY: [00:08:20] Oh my God.
TREY: [00:08:21] You guys. It's an exciting, exciting day. We received. A voicemail in our voicemail box, which if you haven't heard we say it at the end of every episode, you can call our voicemail box and leave us a message. It's 1-850-REVIEW-0. And here is a message from a listener named Emily.
CHELSEY: [00:08:43] Oh, my God.
EMILY: [00:08:44] Okay. Hi, I love the podcast. I would like to lodge a complaint. I'm not an angry person, but this truly makes me insane. It turns me very quickly into like an, a barbarian.
TREY: [00:08:59] What do you think of Emily's voice so far? Do you think that the preface of not being an angry person is factual?
CHELSEY: [00:09:05] I belive her.
TREY: [00:09:06] She sounds very nice.
CHELSEY: [00:09:07] She seems nice. Yeah.
TREY: [00:09:09] And I like the, um, visual imagery of barbarian.
CHELSEY: [00:09:12] Yeah. I think she's going to give us a lot of more descriptive words. It's hear what else she has to say.
TREY: [00:09:16] Okay.
EMILY: [00:09:16] I would like to complain about the people who use an escalator and then they step off of it and they don't keep walking. Okay. So it creates very dangerous, like domino effect.
TREY: [00:09:33] it's like a pile-up...
CHELSEY: [00:09:34] ugh
EMILY: [00:09:34] People just stand there as if there is not this automatic chain of people that are going to dismount and have no control over the timing of that. And you are, you're about to tell people and all you have to do is keep walking, keep walking. This happens a lot.