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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 7: "Ripley’s Believe It or Not! / The Giving Tree"

Updated: Sep 17, 2021

Transcript of Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald Episode 7 "Ripley’s Believe It or Not! / The Giving Tree" for the differently abled and those who prefer to read.

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn and Trey Gerrald

Episode 7

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

CHELSEY: [00:00:30] Hi.

TREY: [00:00:32] Hi everyone. Welcome to Review That Review! The podcast dedicated to reviewing...

CHELSEY: [00:00:37] We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious, scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

TREY: [00:00:49] So suspicious. That's Chelsey Donn,

CHELSEY: [00:00:52] and that's Trey Gerrald,

TREY: [00:00:54] and together we are

VOICEOVER: [00:00:56] The Review Queens.

CHELSEY: [00:01:00] How's your crown feeling today, Trey?

TREY: [00:01:02] You know, I've secured it with 19 Bobby pins and a whole lot of AquaNet.

CHELSEY: [00:01:06] Okay, well then it's definitely not going anywhere. Um, how's your week been?

TREY: [00:01:11] My week is, it's good. I feel like I always have a really boring answer to this, which is probably a great thing.

CHELSEY: [00:01:16] It's a hard question to be fair.

TREY: [00:01:18] I think my week's been good. We're still, um, you know, assimilating as a family with our new dog, which I think we are gonna go with Hunter. We're sort of still figuring that out. Um, Winnie's doing well with him and the week is good our nephew Denver's visiting and staying with us, which is nice. And, um, my friend from preschool, Rachel is also staying with us. So it's a very full house. It's been a good week. How about you? How's your week?

CHELSEY: [00:01:43] My week has been good. I just spoke with my alumni office at my high school for a little while, which is nice to connect and, um, might be doing something with them in the future, which is great feeling excited to be here. And I can't even believe what this is. Episode seven, right?

TREY: [00:02:03] Seven! Seven minutes in heaven!

CHELSEY: [00:02:06] Hopefully it will be however long, 52 minutes in heavem, or however long this ends up being. But thank you guys for tuning in. It's been so amazing doing this podcast and having so many of you reach out with just the nicest things to say and Trey, and I really, really appreciate it. First and foremost, this is something that we're doing for fun that we, we just enjoy doing. And the fact that people are enjoying it along with us is just, it's so nice. So thank you guys.

TREY: [00:02:34] It really is amazing, actually.

CHELSEY: [00:02:35] And with all that love. You know, being spread around. I think that it's time that we

VOICEOVER: [00:02:43] Lodge A Complaint!

TREY: [00:02:44] It's really funny because when we conceived this whole idea, it was like, yeah, we'll start with talking about our week and we'll go into complaints.

But like, it's such a hard segue consistently because we're like so full of gratitude about the podcast. And then it's like, Hard turn, but I'm going to start because I have a really hardcore complaint that is something that has been with me internally for probably all of my life. I'm not sure exactly where it began. It has something to do with being a people pleaser, but I want to lodge a complaint against this internal turmoil about telling anyone when they're fly is down. It's the same internal turmoil when like you're talking to someone and they accidentally spittle on your face.

CHELSEY: [00:03:33] Oh, yeah. That's bad...

TREY: [00:03:33] and you like, don't want to like wipe it away. You don't want, like, you don't like, they know they did it, you know, they, you know,

CHELSEY: [00:03:39] You also don't want their spit on your face.

TREY: [00:03:41] Right. So you're like trying to like be clever and like, oh, is that a fly? And you just magically wiped your cheek. Or it's like, oh, you know, it's also that same internal feeling when you're in conversation with someone and they have halitosis disgusting, horrifying breath.

And, and it's like, if I say, oh, your breath, it's like, the conversation's over. It's terrible. I just registered that those are all the same feeling inside where I feel stopped in expressing what's actually occurring from a place of uncomfortability. So I'm just lodging a complaint about. Being stifled and sharing like, oh sir, your fly is down. It's not the same. If someone has like, um, someone comes out of a bathroom and they have toilet paper on their shoe that is sort of, it's like, you haven't done anything wrong. Like you just didn't notice that that's there. But I feel like if your fly's down, you like maybe. How did you forget to zip it up? I don't know. I don't know, but like, if you have bad breath, it's like,why do you have bad breath? And you didn't realize it. And so I don't want to acknowledge it because then I'm being judgemental and then it's, it could be confrontational. And if someone spits on my face, I don't know why that's so uncomfortable. And I'm really hoping that out of the pandemic, that's something that we just have no issue with anymore, but that's my complaint. It really. Wreaks havoc internally on me. And, um, I'm going to commit right here on the podcast to taking action on this complaint, being the change I want to see in the world when it comes to acknowledging when a fly is down, when someone spits on my face and when someone has horrifyingly bad breath.

CHELSEY: [00:05:17] Wow, speak your truth. But I also feel you, I had a friend whose mom told somebody, like a friend of her sisters that she had something in her teeth...

TREY: [00:05:28] Oh! Same thing!

CHELSEY: [00:05:29] That she tried to do it as a joke, which I understand like joke is a good way of going about it. Right? Like it's, it's, you know, we're humans, these things happen.

And the woman did not take the joke well, but it's, it's just one of those things where it's hard to know, like how can I be helpful without making you feel worse? Like how can I create a safe space for you.

TREY: [00:05:51] Cause the alternative is, if I don't tell you you're going to go home at night and be like, oh my God, how long was my fly down?

CHELSEY: [00:05:56] Totally. Yeah. I mean like, or like me, like I had chicken Caesar salad stuck in my braces for most of my batmitzvah. Can you believe it?

TREY: [00:06:06] Are you serious?

CHELSEY: [00:06:06] I swear. Half of my pictures, from my batmitzvah, have chicken Caesar salad in my braces and not a single person told me. I mean, I'm livid every time I, come across a picture where you can see the romaine it's terrible.

TREY: [00:06:19] I am mouth agape at that. How did the photographer not tell you?

CHELSEY: [00:06:23] I mean, like, to be fair to all parties involved, I mean, the photographer, I don't know, like maybe it was the braces and he couldn't really see it. And then like I saw it later. I do wish like one of my friends or somebody would have just been like, well, let me just like give you a little bit of a advice. Like here's a toothpick.

TREY: [00:06:41] here's a toothpick.

CHELSEY: [00:06:41] Yeah!

TREY: [00:06:42] Wow. I'm I'm, I'm so amazed at how, how much, um, we both have to share about this internal turmoil. What is your,

CHELSEY: [00:06:50] Very universal!

TREY: [00:06:51] What's your complaint for today?

CHELSEY: [00:06:53] I think I have an important con complaint. Now I complain a lot about things that are like semantics, and I get mad when things don't line up and I want a logic complaint against internet cookies. Because for so many reasons, but like how dare they call themselves cookies when it's just such, not a pleasurable experience?

TREY: [00:07:15] Wait, what are they, though, like I actually don't really even know...

CHELSEY: [00:07:18] Right, most people don't.

TREY: [00:07:19] It's like your history?

CHELSEY: [00:07:21] It's kind of, okay, so sometimes you'll visit a website and there'll be like, in order to see this website, you need to accept our cookies. You know, like when you're looking at something on the internet and then all of a sudden that thing you were looking at the internet, like follows you everywhere. That's the cookies fault. And that's what they're doing. They're gathering information and they need you to agree that it's okay. Under the guise of making your experience on the website a little bit better, right? Like if I know that you need bedsheets, then when you open up this Macy's app, I'm going to show youthose bed bedsheets and like, just like weird stuff like that. I hate them. I don't agree. Sometimes I'll just say, no, I don't accept your cookies. And sometimes that's okay. Like they'll still let me use the website. And sometimes I'm just like, if you're not going to let me use your website, cause I won't accept your cookies, then I'm not going to use your website. And I just think the offense of the cookies in general is horrendous, but then beyond the offense. I love cookies. Okay. Cookies are like my favorite dessert. I enjoy them. I think cookies are perfect. It's like the cookie is to dessert. What the taco is to like an entree. You know what I mean? It's just like all perfect ingredients. Cookies are fabulous. And the fact that they have the nerve to call this, this is not a gift. This thing, cookies offensive. They should change the name. It's wrong.

TREY: [00:08:48] That is such a real complaint it happens so much in a day that I don't even recognize it. Like, I don't even like recognize the nuisance any longer. I feel like something happened recently in the last couple of years where it's like every single website has a little banner that's like, accept our cookies.

CHELSEY: [00:09:06] No, I'm not accepting. Ugh!

TREY: [00:09:09] Wow. Good job, Chelsey. That I really feel you on that.

CHELSEY: [00:09:13] Thank you.

TREY: [00:09:14] Oh my God