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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 120: "VIP Limousine: 1 vs 5 Stars"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 120: "VIP Limousine: 1 vs 5 Stars"


*Please pardon any and all spelling errors!

[00:00:00] THEME SONG: Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] CHELSEY DONN: Hello.

[00:00:32] TREY GERRALD: Hi, and hello listeners. Welcome to Review That Review. We are the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing

[00:00:41] CHELSEY DONN: Reviews!

[00:00:42] TREY GERRALD: That is Chelsey Donn

[00:00:45] CHELSEY DONN: And that's Trey Gerald.

[00:00:47] TREY GERRALD: us together are

[00:00:49] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens,

[00:00:53] CHELSEY DONN: That's right. But first, Trey, it's your week, diva. Do you have something that you're just dying to get off your chest? Would you like to?

[00:01:02] VOICEOVER: lodge a complaint,

[00:01:04] TREY GERRALD: All right. So I have been wanting to lodge this for a very long time and I've been a little hesitant because I don't know where you're gonna fall on the spectrum

[00:01:13] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, okay. Well, that's okay. We can be different.

[00:01:15] TREY GERRALD: and I I feel like this thing I'm about to say is very similar to drinking alcohol,

where the minute you say, I don't really want to drink, people are like, have a drink, everyone is like pushing really hard to like convert you. Okay, so today I really need to lodge a complaint. against people pushing karaoke on other people. Are you someone who likes karaoke? I bet you are.

[00:01:48] CHELSEY DONN: no, you know, it's funny, very good friend of the pod, very good friend of mine, Terry Gamble, actually is a karaoke DJ, and I'd set host, and I'd say that she's the best in the biz, no doubt, and I like, I don't like to do karaoke that much, so I feel terrible because I always feel like I would like to be able to show up for Terry at some of these events, and support her and I really should and I feel guilty about it, but I just like, I can't always get myself there.

I got a real problem with the, with the public, especially, karaoke,

[00:02:21] TREY GERRALD: I didn't think that that would be your answer. Well, I'm glad that we're in agreement here. Obviously, this is nothing against you, Terry.

Okay, back to my complaint here. I hate it.

I don't understand people not comprehending It's my body, my choice.

If I don't want to fucking do it, don't push

me and tell me I need to do it.

I hate it so much that anytime there's any sort of hint of a karaoke possibility, I won't go. I don't attend. I'm out

because you cannot be the one person that's like, I don't want to do it because everyone starts demanding

that you participate! I'm participating by clapping for you even though you were off pitch and you're singing some stupid nostalgic song that hits home for your weird point of view from when you were a child.

That's all anyone ever does, or they're trying to be show and tell show off, which I just have no tolerance

for. If I want to see people being showy about singing, I'll go see...

[00:03:24] CHELSEY DONN: a show.

[00:03:25] TREY GERRALD: A show, mm hmm, yeah,

[00:03:27] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, I don't think my opinion is as strong as yours, but I, I have a lot of thoughts about this Trey. So my first thought off the bat is actually like kind of psychological and I want to break this down. I have a theory about the constantly asking you my, yes, my licensed, you know, therapy degree.

Yes, that's right. It's going to get, yeah, C, C, B, D, S, W here.

[00:03:52] TREY GERRALD: okay, tell me,

[00:03:53] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, I think that because I kind of fall into I'm not as like scared as you like like averse as you I don't want To say scared. Sorry, that's my my thing me placing mine on yours But anyway, like I don't want to do it as much but I think a lot of people they want Someone to convince them to do it because they really want to do it But they know that they're maybe not great or maybe they are great.

But either way they like want to be Talked into doing it like I don't want to do it. I don't know. Do you want to do it? I don't want to do it. I don't know. I'll do it. If you do it, I'll do it if you do like it's sort of like this game. So I wonder unless of course you're going out with an entire group of people.

That's just like the showy variety, which I don't tend to be like in the that many crowds like that, but I don't I'm not like averse to it. We used to go to karaoke every single night in. Cambridge after my show at ART like when we would wrap the show and be like finished or when we would have a day off we would always do karaoke and it was super fun because it was like intimate and small town and nobody was really there like there was there was like a seafood restaurant that also had karaoke that we would sometimes sing in low stakes I can do I'm not like as averse to you but I understand that feeling of like nope don't want to do it you And then having somebody constantly asked to do it, but what do you think of that theory of that, that psychological analysis?

Do you think it is about the other person?

[00:05:23] TREY GERRALD: I do think that there is sort of, I mean, it's like an SNL sketch, like, don't make me sing,

like, there is, everyone You play it


[00:05:31] CHELSEY DONN: you're like, yeah, I want to, I want to be talked into it.

[00:05:34] TREY GERRALD: like you don't want to appear to be too eager.

[00:05:36] CHELSEY DONN: And I think it also, like, part of it is the fact that we're both actors, so there's also this, like, anticipation of like, Oh, but you're an actor, you love to perform, you always want to be on, why wouldn't you want to do this?

[00:05:49] TREY GERRALD: Yeah I mean it's very possible, I just feel like people never take the no.

It's the same with alcohol,

there has to be this repartee back and forth about, Have a drink, I want you to have a drink, Let's do a drink, I'll get shots, Let's do shots, It's like, I said. No,

and then the reaction

[00:06:07] CHELSEY DONN: for their own, like, wants and desires.

[00:06:10] TREY GERRALD: maybe so it's all it also comes out a little I've talked about this a lot inappropriate to the moment because I know I'm walking into the battleground

and that I'm going to constantly be saying no and it's going to be disregarded and they're going to.

constantly keep asking. So like the first time they ask him like, you know, it's like this crazy reaction and they're like, Whoa, he's crazy. Why don't you just sing like tearing up my heart? It's like I

said, no. Okay, I'm gonna I have to get off the topic. I don't

know if we've like, I don't know if we've settled the issue for me.


it makes me so angry. And of course, you know, who loves karaoke more than anyone else in the


[00:06:49] CHELSEY DONN: Cratter.

[00:06:51] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, that's probably true. Transcribed David Perlman, my husband.

He is a karaoke king. He loves it.

[00:06:57] CHELSEY DONN: So is he on the team of convincing you? Like, is

[00:07:01] TREY GERRALD: No, he knows. Oh, no, He knows.

[00:07:03] CHELSEY DONN: Is there like a specific group of people that you feel this way about with the, like, drinking and the karaoke? Because I don't feel like all my friends are so pushy.

[00:07:12] TREY GERRALD: Interesting. No, I think it is just what people do.

[00:07:15] CHELSEY DONN: The game.

[00:07:16] TREY GERRALD: It's part of like, Oh, what are you going to sing? I'm not going to sing. What? You have to sing! You have to sing! Just sing!

[00:07:22] CHELSEY DONN: And you're over it.

[00:07:23] TREY GERRALD: All you listeners, if you're hearing this conversation, consider, have you ever not received a no well and continued to push when it comes to karaoke or alcohol?

What do you think that's about? What is it there for you? Why are you doing that? Because as the person on the receiving end, I don't like it. That's my complaint.

[00:07:43] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, I kind of feel like in Patreon, I want to make like the loser of the Meryl Go Round, like if you lose the Meryl Go Round, then you have to do karaoke in the after show, and if I lose, you have to make me do something that I hate.

[00:07:55] TREY GERRALD: Trey Gerrald has left the call.

[00:08:02] CHELSEY DONN: I love you so much. I just wanted to tease you. I just wanted to tease you,

[00:08:07] TREY GERRALD: I'm, I'm like really angry. I was totally happy before we did the complaint section, and I'm like actually angry, so I need to relax. I

know you, you have the negative energy for today's episode, so I'm gonna

exhale it out. Okay, I'm releasing it. Let's go.

[00:08:23] CHELSEY DONN: Yes.

[00:08:24] VOICEOVER: assess that kvetch, Review That

[00:08:26] TREY GERRALD: Today is another versus episode where we cover both a one star review and a five star review on the same exact topic to uncover the truth.

[00:08:37] CHELSEY DONN: And for this very special versus episode, as Trey mentioned, I am on the negative side of things. I selected the one star and Trey has selected the five star. The

[00:08:52] TREY GERRALD: Ooh, wow!

[00:08:53] CHELSEY DONN: Wow. So he cheery. So, to determine who reads first, we gotta flip that quarter. I can't remember who

[00:09:03] TREY GERRALD: It's you.

[00:09:04] CHELSEY DONN: I guess. Oy vey. Okay. I'm gonna flip that quarter.

I'm gonna say Tails.

[00:09:09] TREY GERRALD: It's Tails.

[00:09:10] CHELSEY DONN: Stop it. Is this now, like, the fifth time in a row that we've done negative on the main show?

[00:09:16] TREY GERRALD: No, because I think, or, I think two, because last, I don't think so, I don't know, it does keep happening.

[00:09:22] CHELSEY DONN: It's funny. Okay, we're gonna hear the one star review today.

[00:09:25] TREY GERRALD: Okay, perfect. So, since I started the negative energy, let's just keep it going. So today,

Everyone, I'm excited to share with you, Chelsey and I have scoured the internet for both ends of the spectrum when it comes to this car service company in Chicago, Illinois. So today, we are going to be covering both ends of the spectrum of Yelp reviews for V.

I. P. Limousine. At the time of this recording, V. I. P. Limo has 33 reviews on Yelp with an average score of 4 out of 5. As I love to do, I have pulled some highlights from the From This Business section on Yelp, so

[00:10:11] CHELSEY DONN: Yes.

[00:10:12] TREY GERRALD: for word, here we go. VIP Limousine, Inc. is a luxury Chicago limousine service and Chicago party bus company, oh I bet they have karaoke on the

[00:10:23] CHELSEY DONN: Oh yes.

[00:10:25] TREY GERRALD: that,

[00:10:26] CHELSEY DONN: have to do karaoke if you lose the America round.

[00:10:29] TREY GERRALD: stop saying that, they continually promise to deliver breakthrough technology and unsurpassed quality of service. Established in 2009, they specialize in, I just want you to know that every word in this upcoming sentence is capitalized with no commas. Chicago Weddings, Chicago Quinceañeras, Chicago Proms, Chicago Night Out, Birthday Anniversary, Bachelor, Et, Party, and any other major event! We also do pickup, drop offs, and airport transportation. Okay, so I was like, okay, so I went to their official website, and then at the very bottom of the, like, homepage is this one little sentence.

It says, Our luxury party buses seat 25, 28, 30, 32,

36, and 40


[00:11:24] CHELSEY DONN: bus, like, like,

[00:11:26] TREY GERRALD: that is insane. That

is a cruise ship.

[00:11:29] CHELSEY DONN: yes,

[00:11:30] TREY GERRALD: 40 people, is that even like, can that

drive on a city block?

[00:11:34] CHELSEY DONN: I don't even know, that's crazy to

[00:11:37] TREY GERRALD: I know.

[00:11:37] CHELSEY DONN: that's like a, like a Greyhound, like,

[00:11:40] TREY GERRALD: I mean, talk about a stretch limo.

[00:11:42] CHELSEY DONN: yes.

[00:11:43] TREY GERRALD: so with all of that info, let's jump in, and, Hm,

[00:11:50] VOICEOVER: Review,

[00:11:53] CHELSEY DONN: All right. So I was very excited to pull from a new city, Chicago. We haven't been there before, just want to say, which is great. And I also feel like 33 reviews, not that many reviews. It's like an interesting pool for us to dig into. Like, would you choose this company or would you not choose this company?

So to help us answer that question, I have the one star review written by Lori L. Lori is from Chicago, Illinois. Here we go. I would never use VIP limo again. Driver Carlos showed up early for our pickup. good sign, right? Turned out not to be so. Carlos shows up and wants to use our bathroom.

[00:12:43] TREY GERRALD: mm

[00:12:44] CHELSEY DONN: A little strange, but fine.

Turns out he pisses in our toilet and does not have the courtesy to put down the toilet seats. Beginning of the end. We're all going to the United Center, Carlos clearly has no idea who to get there, He's totally reliant on a whacked GPS system that has him driving his huge Cadillac Escalade stretch down extremely narrow neighborhood streets going in a route that made no sense, Subscribe I had to take over and give him clear directions to get to the expressway.

[00:13:34] TREY GERRALD: mm,

[00:13:35] CHELSEY DONN: Apparently, that was totally emasculating to him. But Hal says, My GPS says I should get off at Division. Off the expressway when we were going much further south and west. We finally get there and he says he needs two numbers for the return pickup. We had already given him one from my female spouse. I said, I'll just give him mine since I'm the person paying, Carlos says, I need one from the gentleman, I'm totally confused and question this, Carlos explains to this dumb female that he needs a number, From a guy because girls take too many pictures and run down the battery on their phone. My expression must have said something because he said, trust me, I've been doing this 20 years. I'm a middle-aged woman, not some dumb kid from his misogynistic worldview. I, of course, gave it to him and his response was to rudely close the window divider while I was still talking. This guy was a complete a hole, stupid, terrible driver, and a complete jerk on top of it.

Cannot believe he is employed and I would never use this service again. Well, he is,

[00:15:25] TREY GERRALD: oof,

[00:15:26] CHELSEY DONN: yeah,

[00:15:27] TREY GERRALD: oof, alright,

[00:15:29] CHELSEY DONN: how do you feel?

[00:15:30] TREY GERRALD: ugh, well, ugh,

[00:15:34] CHELSEY DONN: Speechless.

[00:15:35] TREY GERRALD: this is a great review by the way.

I was really, like, not on Lori's

side for, like, the entire time until we got into the gender conversation. So, I am curious how the words

were said in that conversation.

And, and the reason I say that, not in defense of Carlos, but as a gay person, I know that I can interpret speech

as hurtful, even when that isn't necessarily in the dialogue, it's

like, um, this reflex that I have, especially when you have a same gendered spouse and someone communicates with the expectation that the spouse is a different gender. And, and the reason I also question The context of a really bad joke about women taking too many

photos and

[00:16:31] CHELSEY DONN: it a

[00:16:31] TREY GERRALD: down a, I mean, it's not truth,

but Carlos might say it's

[00:16:37] CHELSEY DONN: delivering it as a joke? You think? Maybe, I guess. Like, I

[00:16:40] TREY GERRALD: don't know.

Well, I think we'll get into this

as we dissect more, but I feel like Lori's kind of a Karen separate of the misogynistic conversation here. I think I would roll the divider up on Lori too,

Like, I'm a professional driver of 20 years, Do you have the special license to drive this ginormous party bus lady? Maybe I'm not allowed to take certain routes,

Maybe I'm not supposed to be on the highway driving 70 miles an hour, Don't be a backseat driver, I'm hearing that in the conversation.

I also get, I'm paying for a service, I want to get there on time, but it's very clear that this is a scathing review of Carlos,

[00:17:22] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, yes. Well, I do like that they mentioned that it's Carlos, not that Carlos deserves the scathing response, but just so that like, maybe I know, okay, I can still use this service, I just maybe won't, will ask for not Carlos, which is to the detriment of Carlos, but I also think it's sort of the responsibility of the company to speak to his behalf.

If and when that does come up, but that being said, that aside, I do kind of think that I'm glad that I know the name of this driver because what's what's like jumping out to me about this review that I think is actually good for VIP limousine. This is not a complaint

[00:18:00] TREY GERRALD: of the company,

[00:18:02] CHELSEY DONN: or the company. I mean, Carlos showed up early.

Maybe that's a company policy that everybody shows up early, which is a wonderful company policy. So, and I

[00:18:11] TREY GERRALD: I think, going to the bathroom, asking to use the bathroom is weird, go to a


[00:18:15] CHELSEY DONN: weird, but I'm just saying, like, again, what makes this a good negative review, in my opinion, for VIP Limousine, is this is not a negative review of VIP Limousine, really, this is a negative review of Carlos,

[00:18:28] TREY GERRALD: I, yeah, I hear

[00:18:29] CHELSEY DONN: Carlos has to check in with the dispatch to let them know that he's there 15 minutes early, Carlos had to do that and did that, then everything that Carlos did from the second that he arrived at the house and asked to use the restroom through dropping them off and making the misogynistic comments, that's Carlos.

You know, at no point in the review did Lori say the car was smelly, you know, it was old, it was nothing. There was no negative.

[00:18:58] TREY GERRALD: the car.

[00:18:59] CHELSEY DONN: nothing about the car. There's nothing. Everything is about. The Carlos,

[00:19:04] TREY GERRALD: Yeah.

[00:19:04] CHELSEY DONN: Not the car. So yeah, the Carlos, Carlos. So

[00:19:10] TREY GERRALD: So how's it landing for you? Because I want to go, I want to break through some of the


[00:19:15] CHELSEY DONN: but I feel you. I definitely want to agree with you in that I went through many sort of evolutions when I first read this review of thinking Lori is a total Karen bitch, even like I was like, okay, the bathroom was weird. You know, everything seemed to really annoy Lori, I think, based off of how Lori handled the bathroom interaction, I think that tells you a lot about Lori, and so, even though, even though, I'm not saying that it was the right thing to do, but I'm just trying to think if, like, my parents hired a company, you know, or whatever, and the person was like, I'm so sorry, it's an emergency, I need to do this, like, would they then hold it against them for the whole trip?

Probably not, you know,

[00:19:52] TREY GERRALD: just thinking that too. Like if I hired this, Stretch limo

and the person was early and they're like, I'm so sorry

Can I use the rest like I would be like, oh my god, of course, you want some

what like I wouldn't

[00:20:02] CHELSEY DONN: Like I'd be like, go ahead. It's right there. Like, yeah, of course. Like, so I think that your read on Lori as like a Karen or maybe at very least being a little bit more difficult to please is in agreement with how I felt. And then similarly, like, I did feel like I went through an evolution where I was like, it's Carlos.

It's Lori! It's Carlos! It's Lori! Like, I just can't imagine this situation ending with Lori, like, and him closing the divider, and like, the whole thing, and her screaming at him and just being like, I'm gonna write a scathing Yelp review about this! Like, that's kind of what the review feels like to me, like, it feels like, I told you I was gonna write something bad, and now I am, you know?

[00:20:45] TREY GERRALD: one other point about the toilet seat being left up like Lori is in the same Gender

relationship, so no one is leaving the toilet seat up.

So that's also

[00:20:56] CHELSEY DONN: true, good point, good distinction, I guess.

[00:20:58] TREY GERRALD: Drive a roll of the partition, please

[00:21:02] CHELSEY DONN: Haha!

[00:21:04] TREY GERRALD: To your point, Lori is really laying out, like, that's where it all went down

from the start or whatever, like, the choice, because then it's like, Lori is on high alert

that she does not like Carlos, and it's like, I don't like the route he's taking, what is the, like, she can't relax in this stretch limo, that presumably is pretty


[00:21:26] CHELSEY DONN: leading up to getting to the final destination, I'm sure Carlos was probably dealing with like, where are you going? What are you doing? Cause she's, she even says like that she told him, she was giving him directions. So I'm sure by the time they got there, Carlos was like not in his best self. Not that like his job is, I guess, to keep it calm and collected, but

[00:21:45] TREY GERRALD: I mean, You are hospitality. I mean,

it's like you're being hired to service this

person. But I also thought it was interesting to say, quote, apparently emasculating. Like we all know that trope, like,

men can never ask for directions. I am a Asking for another number. I am on Lori's side ultimately because I mean in one

hand Carlos is asking.

for an additional number

To better service

you like to be able to explicitly contact you But I also recognize like read the room like don't ask for the man's number.

When was this written?

[00:22:24] CHELSEY DONN: This was written. Let's say this was written in 2017.

[00:22:28] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, you can't say that. We know that

That's just so stupid. Women are always more responsible than men. Like, go to hell, Carlos, with the stupid comment.


[00:22:36] CHELSEY DONN: not cool.

[00:22:38] TREY GERRALD: I think we really have reiterated, like, the unique, valuable, new information here is,

like, we don't want Carlos. Carlos is not good at customer exchange.

[00:22:49] CHELSEY DONN: in terms of spelling and grammar, like, obviously I read through them. There were a few mistakes, like, a couple times where it was strange grammatical hiccups, so I can't give it a 100 percent score for grammar and spelling, personally.

[00:23:04] TREY GERRALD: Truth or Shady,

like, I can't tell if, if like, you know, I do believe that this is an example of multiple things pissed Lori off

and really wanted to vent in this review. So I'm really sitting with that.

[00:23:23] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, I mean, I feel like Truthful Shady in this regard is like more of a character assessment than anything else. And it's like, do I think I'm going to Lori for opinions on all things?

[00:23:34] TREY GERRALD: I don't think

[00:23:35] CHELSEY DONN: do I think that Lori is maybe a little bit Yeah, and like, or maybe it's like, I will go to Lori because if Lori's pleased, anyone will be pleased, I don't know, I just feel like there's definitely a little bit of shade, no, a lot a bit of shade that's coming off the page for me from Lori,

[00:23:55] TREY GERRALD: feel like Lori is like the girlfriend in the group that always shows up late to brunch because like, they were in traffic and you'll never believe what happened to the

dog and oh my gosh, the, yes. Mm hmm.

Do we, I mean, I have no idea if this is common. I mean, if we like pull out. So, this has nothing to do with VIP Limo,

other than they employed Carlos.

So like, maybe they could be better at vetting people, or maybe Carlos and Lori just are oil and vinegar, or

oil and water, vinegar and

[00:24:25] CHELSEY DONN: definitely think this oil and, oil and

[00:24:28] TREY GERRALD: oil and water,

[00:24:29] CHELSEY DONN: work. Oil and water, I think is the traditional.

[00:24:32] TREY GERRALD: Trey and karaoke,

[00:24:34] CHELSEY DONN: That's right. You said it. So if I went to this Yelp page, there were 33 reviews. It was a 4. 5 overall, you know, I don't know. I think that it's probably not that common.

[00:24:45] TREY GERRALD: humor, I was entertained,

I mean, then I did get very angry, so it emotionally captivated

[00:24:52] CHELSEY DONN: Definitely had an impact. I mean, I'm still thinking about Lori and whether or not I trust them and their character and also Carlos, like, they really built this whole world.

[00:25:02] TREY GERRALD: I think I can crown Lori.

[00:25:04] CHELSEY DONN: I think I'm ready to crown Lori.

[00:25:06] TREY GERRALD: Okay. So, Chelsey and I each have our own set of 0 5 crown cards. Now in an effort to be fair, and not influence one another, we will simultaneously reveal our rating cards.

[00:25:19] VOICEOVER: The Queens are tabulating, Time for school,

[00:25:27] CHELSEY DONN: All right, so Trey's holding up two crowns and I'm holding up three and a half. Interesting. Trey, you go first. Why two crowns for Lori?

[00:25:37] TREY GERRALD: Well, just because if we sort of zoom out over

here, not much is being said about VIP limo, perhaps the cars have really outdated like Garmin GPS

things, I kind of think that Lori just didn't agree with the route,

And, like, the value for me really is, like, if I am gonna go with this company, I'm gonna explicitly say, do not give me Carlos, cause I'm

also a homosexual, and I don't want to, like, get into some gender politics, but I also, like, it was entertaining, and I did get sucked in, but I don't know that I could choose to pick up the phone or put the phone down when making a call to hire this company or not, based solely on Lori's review.

I would have to keep digging.

So, Two. Two crowns for me. Why

did you say three and a half?

[00:26:26] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, so for me, the three and a half crowns are definitely coming from the information about Carlos, even though, like, if this is a character assassination on Carlos, I feel a little bit bad, but I do know that if I read this review and there was no reply or anything, that I wouldn't want to have Carlos as a driver, and I now know that.

And I also think it's entertaining like I'm very enveloped in this whole world of Carlos and Laurie and the drama like I just for entertainment value I felt like this was a three and a half crown review to me but I don't think that I think luckily for VIP this isn't a character assassination on the company at large.

[00:27:08] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, I

[00:27:08] CHELSEY DONN: I think comes out

[00:27:11] TREY GERRALD: Yeah.

[00:27:12] CHELSEY DONN: I did three and a half.

[00:27:13] TREY GERRALD: I can't. Apparently it was an emasculating backseat driving moment.

[00:27:18] CHELSEY DONN: Yes.

[00:27:20] TREY GERRALD: Is there a reply?

[00:27:21] CHELSEY DONN: Wait, how do you know?

[00:27:22] TREY GERRALD: Because that cannot be, that cannot be the end of the story.

[00:27:25] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, okay. But wait!

[00:27:27] TREY GERRALD: Okay,

thank God.

[00:27:28] VOICEOVER: There's a reply,

[00:27:31] CHELSEY DONN: so there is a reply from the business owner. Now, his name is, I think it's Tomas S. It's interesting, I've never seen a spelling like this. So it's like Tomas, but then there's a Z after the S.

[00:27:46] TREY GERRALD: Tomasov et al.,

[00:27:48] CHELSEY DONN: The Tomas of it all. So this is... Tomás S. 's reply. One, our driver did not use your bathroom.

We checked the vehicle cameras and he did not enter your home. had lots of guests over and of them could have done what you claim our wonderful driver Carlos did. Two, our drivers have GPS systems that work with current events and traffic, Chicago often has festivals and we have to work our way around them, it's not your place to tell him how to do his job, Three, our drivers Ask for a gentleman's phone number actually because they don't ever want to seem inappropriate asking for a lady's phone number and you should appreciate that Carlos took the time to ask for a backup phone number in case you lose signal or battery.

Again, our drivers know what they're doing and have experience. seems to me the only person here who is sexist, my dear, you. I don't know where you come to your conclusion that you were emasculating him. Maybe you hoped you were. Your language is horrendous and lewd. Just your rant here make me feel embarrassed for you.

And also, wow, that's pretty insulting that you refer to women who like to take a lot of pics at their events as dumb female. driver arrived early. He got you on time and safely to your event. Your credit card you provided on the contract was declining. We even let you use a different credit card for payment, which is against our rules.

And you received an upgraded vehicle twice the price of what you paid without any upcharge as a free upgrade from Out Company. Wish I could review customers like you find something better to do with your time and you should appreciate great service when you receive it with four exclamation points. Yeah,

[00:30:04] TREY GERRALD: Well, this reply was a mixed bag,

[00:30:06] CHELSEY DONN: it right. It was so it's almost similar to the review, right? Where I'm like oscillating between whose side I'm on.

[00:30:15] TREY GERRALD: I, well now I'm really confused, I just have to pull out this one sentence, You are the one that's sexist, my dear,

[00:30:24] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah.

[00:30:26] TREY GERRALD: that's like a belittling

gendered statement, to call a female my dear,

[00:30:31] CHELSEY DONN: I just think it's hard to say, I want to say a lot of these replies from business probably fall under like a lot of people and you just have to list somebody as like the business owner, so I'm sure there's multiple people possibly managing this account, either way, we, you know, we have to take into consideration that this person is speaking on behalf of the business, this is now the voice of the business regardless of gender, this is how they decided to reply and the question is, do they do it right?

[00:30:58] TREY GERRALD: In my opinion, I don't think so.

[00:31:00] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah,

[00:31:01] TREY GERRALD: Even though I kind of agree with a lot of the points, and I do want to say, them explaining the logic behind the policy of we

request a gentleman, so as not to seem like we're, you know,

being inappropriate, I don't agree with that.

[00:31:17] CHELSEY DONN: It's sort of a heteronormative

[00:31:18] TREY GERRALD: It's a little old school and I don't agree with that, but I, I appreciate that I hear that it is a company policy and that there is a reason behind it.

And it even seems like in the verbiage from Tomas, like also so that you don't have to like run down your battery. Like it seems like Carlos may have been instructed on what the reply should be

to a customer when you're asking for a gentleman.


[00:31:44] CHELSEY DONN: but maybe not the photo comment, but anyway,

[00:31:47] TREY GERRALD: Correct, right. I mean, I actually love the sentiment of like, I wish I could leave reviews for customers, you little bitch, but it goes beyond.

[00:31:55] CHELSEY DONN: yeah, I do think that they were like slaying a little bit and like as I think if it was like as a review kind of Ted and Ted, I sort of think it's fierce and fun, I think that the problem comes in with like the business, like now,

[00:32:08] TREY GERRALD: I know.

[00:32:09] CHELSEY DONN: I really am turned off when I sense an attitude from the business owner because it makes me think like, oh, if things are going well and then something goes wrong, is this person going to like turn on me?

[00:32:19] TREY GERRALD: Yeah. You have to be calm and you have to be unemotional and I

can sense the emotion. But I also get that they're so mad because it's like, you were just so difficult, everything about you was difficult, and then you leave us this negative review,

[00:32:34] CHELSEY DONN: you could, you could say every one of those things that you said, you could tell me about the camera, you could tell me about the credit card, you could, you could do it in a professional way and I just don't think that this was done in a professional way and I don't think that it bodes well for the company.

[00:32:48] TREY GERRALD: I think that this might, that this reply's a little bit more damaging

than the actual one star was, for me,

[00:32:54] CHELSEY DONN: right ending it with the four exclamation points. I don't think was really great and we started with the list I also think like that feels kind of aggressive when it's like one you suck, two you suck, three You're worse. Like I don't know. Do we feel like we have enough information to crown this reply?

[00:33:13] TREY GERRALD: yeah, let's crown Tamaz,

[00:33:15] VOICEOVER: The queens are tabulating.

Total score.

[00:33:22] CHELSEY DONN: Wow, oh my god, we're reversed kind of. Okay, so I went with one and a half for this reply and Trey went for three and a half. Curious to hear what you have to say, Trey. Go ahead.

[00:33:30] TREY GERRALD: okay, so three and a half's the middle of the road, right?

[00:33:33] CHELSEY DONN: No,

[00:33:33] TREY GERRALD: No, Two and a

[00:33:34] CHELSEY DONN: is middle of the road.

[00:33:36] TREY GERRALD: I'm never gonna remember.

[00:33:39] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my god, so

[00:33:40] TREY GERRALD: Okay, well, okay. So, I didn't want to say super low because I actually get a lot of value in the fact that I don't want to have to deal with Tamaz.

If I go to this company and I have a bad experience, like, I don't want to be accosted and called out on Yelp.

But I will say, because we have covered so many replies, we really do know how to be very skillful at a reply,

and this is Missing the

bar, but conversely, it does sort of add like, okay, well, they have cameras in the car,

so that I Do kind of naturally believe that they did look and see that he did not leave the car

And if they have a policy that they don't want to ask for phone numbers from women, they Most certainly have a policy that you're not allowed to enter the house.

Like that

seems like it would go hand in hand. And they answered my question about the GPS.

I meant to say, I meant to say middle of the road here. So I meant

to say Two and a half.

but I do appreciate that. Like this reply makes me not want to use the compo.

Why did you say one and a half?

[00:34:44] CHELSEY DONN: The one and a half crowns for me are coming from the fact that like I kind of secretly love Tomás and like their shady factor I sort of think that they're like funny and You know sexist my dear, you know I don't know There's just like something about that that tickles me and that's where the one and a half came from but like you were saying we know what a skillful reply is and with this To me, this is like the perfect example of this was an opportunity.

You were right. You could have taken back this review if you just like simmer down now. So that was why I went with one and a half crowns, but I'm glad there was a reply.

[00:35:19] TREY GERRALD: thank God. Also, we didn't, we didn't talk about it, but I meant to say you got a spell check. You cannot have typos in your reply. You can't. You're a business.

[00:35:28] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, no.

[00:35:28] TREY GERRALD: It's game time, weeweeweewee

[00:35:33] CHELSEY DONN: That's right Trey, it is game time and today I have created a game just for you Trey and our listeners, you are more than welcome to play along, the name of this game is Waxi or Taxi, Is it Waxy or is it Taxi? So it's very simple. I'm going to give you the name of either a Yankee Candle scented candle or a taxi company and you're going to have to decide Waxy or Taxi. So Trey and listeners, are you ready to play Waxy or Taxi? Is it Waxy or is it a Taxi? Okay.

[00:36:24] TREY GERRALD: it. Let's do it.

[00:36:25] CHELSEY DONN: All right, here we go.

[00:36:26] TREY GERRALD: What?

[00:36:26] CHELSEY DONN: First one is Over the River Cab Company or an Over the River Scented Yankee Candle.

[00:36:37] TREY GERRALD: Hmm. I'm wondering like over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's House we go. So I think it's going to be a taxi.

[00:36:52] CHELSEY DONN: Sorry, Trey. It is not a taxi. It is a Yankee Candle scent. Actually, it's a returning favorite, a cool and calm stroll by the river, watery green notes with hints of sage, amber and oak with a 4. 5 overall rating. Okay, moving on. Galaxy Ride. Or, a Galaxy Scented Yankee Candle,

[00:37:21] TREY GERRALD: I'm gonna say waxy.

[00:37:25] CHELSEY DONN: No, sorry Trey,

[00:37:27] TREY GERRALD: Dang it, I'm so bad at these.

[00:37:30] CHELSEY DONN: Ride, uh, in the Los Angeles area, okay, moving on, a Sunshine Yellow Cab, or a Sunshine Yellow Scented Yankee Candle,

[00:37:47] TREY GERRALD: I'm gonna say taxi.

[00:37:49] CHELSEY DONN: it's a taxi, that's right, a Sunshine Yellow Cab, also in Los Angeles. Alright, moving on, Calm Night Cabco, or a Calm Night Scented Candle,

[00:38:08] TREY GERRALD: Waxy.

[00:38:09] CHELSEY DONN: that's waxy, that's right, Trey, unwind with relaxing lavender and eucalyptus, sweetened with a touch of vanilla,

[00:38:19] TREY GERRALD: I would want that.

[00:38:20] CHELSEY DONN: 6 overall rating, alright, Rose Taxi and Shuttle, Or, a Rose Scented Yankee Candle,

[00:38:33] TREY GERRALD: I think it's a taxi.

[00:38:36] CHELSEY DONN: It is a Taxi, This Taxi Company only has a 3. 4 overall score on Google with 18 reviews, unfortunately, in the Santa Barbara County,

[00:38:47] TREY GERRALD: I feel like Yankee Candle has more creative names than Rose Scented.

Rose scent my

[00:38:52] CHELSEY DONN: I know, I had a feeling you'd get that one, but I wanted to throw you an easy

[00:38:55] TREY GERRALD: Thank you. Thank you.

[00:38:56] CHELSEY DONN: welcome. Okay, Sun and Sand Shuttles and Vans, or a Sun and Sand Scented Yankee Candle.

[00:39:09] TREY GERRALD: Oh, geez. Oh, sun and sand. This could literally be both. I'm gonna say waxy.

[00:39:17] CHELSEY DONN: It's waxy, but I will say I was very proud of

[00:39:22] TREY GERRALD: Yeah,

[00:39:23] CHELSEY DONN: coming up with Sun and Sand Shuttles and Vans, because I feel like that could be a real thing. Okay, this is the Yankee Candle. It has a 4. 7 overall rating. It's a tropical beach breeze of sweet. Orange Flower, Lemony Citrus, Fresh Lavender, and Powdery,

[00:39:41] TREY GERRALD: That would not be for me. No, no, no.

[00:39:43] CHELSEY DONN: Musk, yeah, okay, moving on, Sea Breeze Taxi, or a Sea Breeze Scented Yankee Candle,

[00:39:51] TREY GERRALD: Oh, no. I think Seabreeze. Like, I can see that on like a Febreze bottle. So I'm gonna say it's a scent. I'm gonna say it's waxy.

[00:40:01] CHELSEY DONN: It's not waxy, it's a taxi, in Plymouth, Massachusetts, 3. 9 overall rating, all right, moving on, Mountain House Cab or a Mountain House Scented Yankee Candle,

[00:40:27] TREY GERRALD: Waxy.

[00:40:28] CHELSEY DONN: No, that is a taxi company

[00:40:33] TREY GERRALD: Mountain House,

[00:40:34] CHELSEY DONN: House, California.

[00:40:36] TREY GERRALD: Oh, good job!

[00:40:39] CHELSEY DONN: right? Okay. All right. We have a few more.

[00:40:41] TREY GERRALD: fully tied.

[00:40:42] CHELSEY DONN: are. Okay. Pink Sands Limousine or a Pink Sands Scented Yankee Candle.

[00:40:55] TREY GERRALD: I'm gonna say taxi.

[00:40:56] CHELSEY DONN: That's a waxy! Pink Sands has 4. 7 overall. It's an exotic escape in the beautiful mix of bright citrus, sweet florals, and spicy vanilla. Alright, we have two more to try. You could totally win the game. Ocean Air Rides. Or an ocean air scented Yankee candle.

[00:41:29] TREY GERRALD: I think you might be trying to trick me and it might be ocean air with an E, so I'm gonna say it's a taxi.

[00:41:35] CHELSEY DONN: No,

[00:41:36] TREY GERRALD: Ugh!

[00:41:37] CHELSEY DONN: it's a waxy 4.5 out of five, fresh, invigorating ocean air carried by white capped waves. Clean, sunny notes mingle with jasmine, white, amber and sandalwood.

[00:41:54] TREY GERRALD: Interesting.

[00:41:55] CHELSEY DONN: I, I think sandalwood iss more masculine in my, or, I don't know. I'm, I'm

[00:41:59] TREY GERRALD: Okay, Carlos.

[00:42:00] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, sorry. All right, the last one, Trey.

[00:42:03] TREY GERRALD: Here we go.

[00:42:04] CHELSEY DONN: it up here? You can tie it up.

No? Okay.

[00:42:07] TREY GERRALD: no, I'm a

[00:42:08] CHELSEY DONN: call it a tie. I'll call it a tie if you get it,

[00:42:11] TREY GERRALD: okay?

okay, okay.

[00:42:12] CHELSEY DONN: B& B Taxi Cab Ink or a B& B Scented Yankee Candle.

[00:42:24] TREY GERRALD: I mean, I feel like this could be both as well. It's a taxi.

[00:42:29] CHELSEY DONN: taxi! That's right, Trey, 4. 4 overall and it serves Chicago! We started and ended with Chicago,

[00:42:41] TREY GERRALD: that's my town, that's Hoddle in town.

[00:42:44] CHELSEY DONN: yes,

[00:42:46] TREY GERRALD: Great job, Chelsey.

[00:42:48] CHELSEY DONN: lip shits,

[00:42:50] TREY GERRALD: You really killed me on

that, but it was a close, I was, I was

[00:42:54] CHELSEY DONN: you did

[00:42:55] TREY GERRALD: You did a really great job of picking stuff that could be both, good


[00:42:59] CHELSEY DONN: you. Thank you. I work, I worked hard on it. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Listeners,

[00:43:03] TREY GERRALD: did you do?

[00:43:04] CHELSEY DONN: Trey? How did you do? Let us know. Call our voice mailbox. Eight five zero review. Zero.

[00:43:12] TREY GERRALD: Did you beat me, Queens?


[00:43:14] CHELSEY DONN: you do it?

[00:43:15] TREY GERRALD: I feel like I'm so bad at these.

[00:43:18] CHELSEY DONN: You're not. You're not.

Give yourself a round of applause. You did great.

[00:43:23] TREY GERRALD: Thank you.

[00:43:25] CHELSEY DONN: Yes, Trey.

[00:43:26] TREY GERRALD: you, everyone, thank

[00:43:27] CHELSEY DONN: We called it a tie. I told you it was a tie. If

[00:43:29] TREY GERRALD: That's cheating, I'm not

[00:43:30] CHELSEY DONN: it was a, no, it wasn't. It was a bonus round and it was worth two.

[00:43:34] TREY GERRALD: Okay.

I'll take it.

[00:43:36] CHELSEY DONN: Yay.

[00:43:39] VOICEOVER: Review That Review!

[00:43:43] CHELSEY DONN: All right. We're back from that Yankee candle scented break. And it is your turn, Trey,

[00:43:50] TREY GERRALD: Alright, so, today, I am going to be sharing a five star review. Out of curiosity, your review was written by Laurie L. Right?

[00:44:02] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, that's right.

[00:44:03] TREY GERRALD: And is the last name

[00:44:07] CHELSEY DONN: Why?

[00:44:08] TREY GERRALD: because I have a five star Yelp review from the not currently recommended section

[00:44:16] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my God, you went down into the not recommended again.

[00:44:20] TREY GERRALD: and listeners you might want to join our after show if you haven't yet because wouldn't you know You That the one star that Chelsey brought in

is a direct relation

to today's five star review! So

the story is gonna get a lot more complex,


[00:44:40] CHELSEY DONN: you kidding? And you held that in the whole episode?

[00:44:43] TREY GERRALD: I didn't know what that one star would be, but I knew, cause there were multiple replies to some one star review by someone named Lori L.

[00:44:57] CHELSEY DONN: Stop.

[00:44:58] TREY GERRALD: Yeah,

[00:44:59] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my God, I'm so excited to hear

[00:45:02] TREY GERRALD: all right, well,

[00:45:03] CHELSEY DONN: even believe

[00:45:03] TREY GERRALD: and I have some major tea on Miss Lori L. That Lori L., Lori L., does not, does not disclose

in their review. So, this is some season three,

[00:45:19] CHELSEY DONN: This is

[00:45:19] TREY GERRALD: ass story coming out

here, that we never

[00:45:21] CHELSEY DONN: exactly. This is like a one of those Documentaries where all of a sudden it's like you're on the side of the one character and then everything changes

[00:45:30] TREY GERRALD: is getting peeled back more,

motherfuckers, alright, so,

[00:45:33] CHELSEY DONN: that's so cool,

[00:45:34] TREY GERRALD: if you want to hear the flip side, you know what to do, you have to go and join the


[00:45:39] CHELSEY DONN: join, and also if you want a chance to maybe see Trey do karaoke, ha ha, oh, I just love that I know a new button, that's so fun,

[00:45:50] TREY GERRALD: Well, come join us, Queens. But in the meantime, we've done it. We have completed another round on half round on the R U A R Q Ferris wheel of I'm gonna leave the toilet seat up.

[00:46:01] CHELSEY DONN: Shady, thank you for joining us today, if you like what you heard, please tell a friend,

[00:46:08] TREY GERRALD: If you did not like what you heard, please tell an enemy.

[00:46:12] CHELSEY DONN: this is you baby,

[00:46:13] TREY GERRALD: I know.

[00:46:14] CHELSEY DONN: ha.

[00:46:14] TREY GERRALD: I started I started laughing when we came back from break. I was like, Oh, fuck. Here we go. So to hear or watch The five star review from Jody T for VIP Limousine on this week's After Show Companion podcast. Then go and join our Patreon page at ReviewThatReview.

com slash Patreon or directly on Apple Podcasts so that you can find out what made Chelsey say...

[00:46:45] CHELSEY DONN: You nailed that.

[00:46:46] TREY GERRALD: I did, right? Wow.

[00:46:48] CHELSEY DONN: Stuck the landing and everything. Did we even, are we going to bring up the whole thing later? The elephant in the room? And to find out what made Trey say,

[00:47:01] TREY GERRALD: Oh, I thought Grease Lightning was Kenickie's car. And remember,

[00:47:06] CHELSEY DONN: Ignore the haters. You're a queen.

[00:47:09] TREY GERRALD: gender nonspecific queens,

[00:47:12] CHELSEY DONN: Chicago Queens.

[00:47:13] TREY GERRALD: Deep Dish,

[00:47:14] CHELSEY DONN: Yes.

[00:47:16] TREY GERRALD: oh my god I had to sneeze, Chicago Deep Dish goodbye, b


[00:47:20] CHELSEY DONN: Bye, Cubs. Yay, sports!

[00:47:24] TREY GERRALD: Windy City,

[00:47:27] CHELSEY DONN: Um, what

[00:47:29] TREY GERRALD: Oprah Winfrey,

[00:47:30] CHELSEY DONN: Oh yeah, Harpo, I think that's it.

[00:47:37] VOICEOVER: Sign up directly on Apple Podcast to hear our weekly members only after show. Unlock additional benefits when you become a Patreon slash patreon. Follow us on all the socials at the review queens and join our mailing Our kvetch line is open 24 7 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.

You never visit, you never write. Give us a call now.

[00:48:01] CHELSEY DONN: I just think that like it needs to be stated how in sync the two of us are that like your assignment was get a five star review and you didn't go with the 33 reviews that were on the page, which might make it like a little bit less of a coincidence. You actually went to the bottom section and you found a review that was in relation with my one star review.

Like what is happening to have truly become one?

[00:48:26] TREY GERRALD: Well, I, in full disclosure, I actually sourced three reviews in the event that you shared a review from someone named Lori. So

[00:48:36] CHELSEY DONN: But still, that's

[00:48:38] TREY GERRALD: there were a lot of replies about someone's one star named Lori.

So I thought the odds were high.

[00:48:44] CHELSEY DONN: okay. Well, either way, amazing.

[00:48:47] TREY GERRALD: Also, we are about to go over to our 100th after show. So Queens,

come join us 100

[00:48:56] CHELSEY DONN: That's right. If you have a road trip coming up, you have 100 reasons to join Patreon.

[00:49:01] TREY GERRALD: heard that. See you Friday.


[00:49:04] CHELSEY DONN: you, bye.

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.


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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 159: "Barking - 1 Star Review"

Review That Review with Chelsey & Trey Episode 159: "Barking - 1 Star Review" Transcription *Please pardon any and all spelling errors! [00:00:00] CHELSEY DONN: Goldie? Goldie! No barking, quiet, or y


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