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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 126: "Blue Mountain Family Restaurant - 1 Star Review"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 126: "Blue Mountain Family Restaurant - 1 Star Review"


*Please pardon any and all spelling errors!

[00:00:00] THEME SONG: Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] CHELSEY DONN: Hello,

[00:00:32] TREY GERRALD: Oh hi and hello and welcome once again to Review That Review. We are the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing.

[00:00:41] CHELSEY DONN: Pumpkin Spice Reviews! I don't know what's wrong with me.

[00:00:57] TREY GERRALD: That is Chelsey Donn.

[00:00:59] CHELSEY DONN: And that is Trey Gerald.

[00:01:02] TREY GERRALD: And together we are Pumpkin Spice.

[00:01:06] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens,

[00:01:14] CHELSEY DONN: Everything is Pumpkin Spice.

[00:01:16] TREY GERRALD: I feel like we've been in Pumpkin Spice already.

[00:01:20] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, it's November 1st. The pumpkins are spicy.

[00:01:24] TREY GERRALD: They're getting spice,

[00:01:25] CHELSEY DONN: They're getting spicy. I don't know if you've been to Trader Joe's lately, but it is pumpkin season at Trader Joe's.

[00:01:31] TREY GERRALD: Target,

[00:01:32] CHELSEY DONN: God, I love

[00:01:33] TREY GERRALD: Starbucks.

[00:01:35] CHELSEY DONN: my God, the inventor of the basic pumpkin spice latte.

[00:01:39] TREY GERRALD: Well, should we do it? Should we go ahead and and jump into?

[00:01:42] VOICEOVER: Ledge a Complaint,

[00:01:43] CHELSEY DONN: because you need to know what I want to lodge a complaint about on this Pumpkin Spice

[00:01:47] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, I need to know.

[00:01:48] CHELSEY DONN: You need to know. In fact, there is. This is another real time complaint from me. So first of all, I would like to say, David, if you're listening, I bought a new product that really made me think of you, and if I, I don't, I don't, Think that you have this version of this product, but if I book a big thing and I have a lot of money, I'm going to send you one.

That's a promise. But anyway, so I bought this amazing Brita filter for Goldie for her water for my room. You plug it in and you can like push a button and it like distributes the water. It's very nice. It's like reminds me of the one that David has, but it's like the newer, more high tech version because you know how David likes the water out of the fridge.

And you like water in the fridge.

[00:02:34] TREY GERRALD: Oh,

[00:02:35] CHELSEY DONN: did he upgrade it?

[00:02:36] TREY GERRALD: we've had a life update that I've been meaning to share and I keep forgetting But we have like, you know, the the things you put the chog the Bucket on top. And so we have one of those, but it's a reusable bucket. So we just fill the bucket and then it filters it. So, and it has room temperature and cold.

Which has really

[00:02:55] CHELSEY DONN: fascinating. Well, that's a big life update, but anyway, so I bought this, this fabulous new Brita filter that has this automatic on off thing. And I went to take it out of the box

[00:03:08] TREY GERRALD: Mm hmm.

[00:03:09] CHELSEY DONN: and it was really tightly wrapped in that styrofoam

[00:03:14] TREY GERRALD: Mm hmm.

[00:03:15] CHELSEY DONN: and that sound happened when the styrofoam rubs on the styrofoam and it's this squeaking sound and it's just, it's like a horror movie, it's like a horror movie for my ears, like people talk about the sounds of nail on the chalkboard, which is a terrible sound, but the sound of of styrofoam on styrofoam and that squeak, like, we gotta do better, guys, like, we know that styrofoam is really bad for the environment to start, so, is there not, and I'm happy that they took the extra care to make sure that my product was safe, I appreciate that, but that moment of taking it out of the box and dealing with it, my ears were like bleeding by the time I took this package apart, what is the deal?


[00:04:07] TREY GERRALD: I absolutely know the sound you're talking about, and I've never really considered it, but it is really unpleasant. It truly is. Yeah.

[00:04:15] CHELSEY DONN: It's like so cringy. It just makes my whole body shake.

[00:04:18] TREY GERRALD: In the moment that it... Thanks for watching, and I'll

[00:04:29] CHELSEY DONN: ah, it's just like, it's, it's just like, it hurts. I can't explain it. It's just like, it's so, it's like underneath my skin and it just like, it gets to me. Um, and it's just like, not the best intro.

Thankfully, like the product is great and I really like it and it didn't ruin the whole relationship. So no, God bless, God bless the people that work in the factories that were, you know, that do any of these jobs where they're exposed to the sire. I think if, if I was going to say, I think if God forbid that was my job, no offense to the person that does it because we all, you know, I would have to have like noise cancelling headphones.

[00:05:13] TREY GERRALD: Oh, yeah.

[00:05:14] CHELSEY DONN: Right? I couldn't do it with a bare ear.

[00:05:16] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, I get that. Maybe, maybe you need some now, so that when you're opening packages,

[00:05:21] CHELSEY DONN: You're right.

[00:05:22] TREY GERRALD: off the table. But I wonder if you would feel the tonal sensations as they vibrate.

[00:05:27] CHELSEY DONN: know. Yeah, exactly. I might know anyway, but I just, I really hate that sound. Does anyone else really hate that sound? I like, there's a few sounds. It really is like the nail on the chalkboard, that sound. I can't really think of many others, but like, those are the highly agreed. You know what it is for me?

Like when I think about biting into a popsicle with my front two teeth, it's, it sends a shiver. It sounds a shiver through my whole body or if I think about like, um, getting one of those Italian ices and taking that like, that scoopy thing and just, you know, the, the, like getting the, that does something to my body, like

[00:06:10] TREY GERRALD: I know another. I know another thing

[00:06:12] CHELSEY DONN: me another one.

[00:06:14] TREY GERRALD: When you give yourself a paper cut,

[00:06:16] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, that's bad.

[00:06:18] TREY GERRALD: like an end, like you can instantly

[00:06:20] CHELSEY DONN: Uh, I think, yeah, I was at work the other day and I gave myself a paper cut and I was just like, Damn it! You know, I just like had some big reaction. My boss was like, what happened?

[00:06:30] TREY GERRALD: Wait, what else is like that? I feel like I can instantly recall the smell of gasoline too.

[00:06:35] CHELSEY DONN: yeah, I can recall the smell of gasoline. Yeah, you can recall the sensation of getting a paper cut for sure.

[00:06:42] TREY GERRALD: Oh, well, I'm so sorry, Chelsey, but I hope that Goldie is appreciative.

[00:06:46] CHELSEY DONN: Uh, I think she is. I think it's going really well, and I know that her water is clean, and that makes me happy, and yeah, so in the end, it's a win, and I'm very happy to know that, that Trey and David have figured out their water tobaccos, because, so now you're, you're just a one water thing household,

[00:07:06] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, it's really great. I'll, I'll induct it in the future.

[00:07:09] CHELSEY DONN: okay, great, Thank

[00:07:10] TREY GERRALD: do a little, um, a little pin in this.

[00:07:13] CHELSEY DONN: I love that. Okay. Well, now that I've complained and hopefully not made all of your ears bleed, Should we go ahead and jump into an online review?

[00:07:25] TREY GERRALD: I think it's time. I think, I think we've reached the moment, and I think you're all going to be better for it. Let's go ahead.

[00:07:32] CHELSEY DONN: fries!

[00:07:33] VOICEOVER: Review That Review,

[00:07:37] CHELSEY DONN: As you know, we are your trusty Review Queens. We bring in reviews from the internet that What?

[00:07:44] TREY GERRALD: Did you say pumpkin spice?

[00:07:45] CHELSEY DONN: I did. I was like, he didn't laugh.

[00:07:48] TREY GERRALD: Well, I didn't hear it, but then I just was remembering how you said it, and then I was like, wait, I think she just mouthed that as the sound cue

[00:07:56] CHELSEY DONN: I did. Oh my god. As you know, we are your trusty Pumpkin Spice Review Queens. We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected. Pumpkin

[00:08:07] TREY GERRALD: We read you the review, break it down, and rate the impact. On a scale from 0 to 5 crowns,

[00:08:14] CHELSEY DONN: Spice crowns!

[00:08:15] TREY GERRALD: it's a very regal process that we call.

[00:08:17] VOICEOVER: Assess That Kvetch, The

[00:08:19] CHELSEY DONN: That's right, Trey, it is your turn this week. What have you brought in for us?

[00:08:26] TREY GERRALD: Today I have a really fun review. This is a one star Yelp review

[00:08:31] CHELSEY DONN: Okay,

[00:08:32] TREY GERRALD: for a restaurant that is called Blue Mountain Family Restaurant.

[00:08:39] CHELSEY DONN: Blue Mill, in what, in what location?

[00:08:43] TREY GERRALD: So this is in a place called Chartlesville, Pennsylvania. No, Chartles,

[00:08:53] CHELSEY DONN: that's terrible! Like, I sharted my pants?

[00:08:58] TREY GERRALD: S H A R T L E S V I L L E, Chartlesville,

[00:09:06] CHELSEY DONN: That is a bad name for a town, they should rename it. They should rename it, we should petition. Shartersville? Does everyone just shh?

[00:09:15] TREY GERRALD: Chartle, you keep saying it wrong, Chartle, Pumpkin Spice,

[00:09:24] CHELSEY DONN: Shartle! Shartle! Either way! Are there just sharting turtles everywhere? There's just sharting turtles that are just going across every, every highway? They're like, make sure to pause for the sharting turtles.

[00:09:41] TREY GERRALD: Okay, so, David and I were coming back from Atlantic City,

[00:09:46] CHELSEY DONN: Uh huh,

[00:09:48] TREY GERRALD: And we were hungry so we were like trying to figure out like where would be the nice place to eat so David was like looking through Yelp reviews and he found this review.

[00:09:59] CHELSEY DONN: I'm so, this is all about David, look at my white, my complaint was about David, It's a very David episode,

[00:10:05] TREY GERRALD: So this is written by Lindsey A.

[00:10:08] CHELSEY DONN: I don't like my sister, is it with an, is it A Y or E Y?

[00:10:11] TREY GERRALD: It's E Y and this was written nine months ago And here we are, this is the review. restaurant, one word, the restaurant itself looks clean and inviting, all caps. Beyond that, the food was absolute trash. It's one of the worst places I have ever eaten. I order young turkey and stuffing with gravy. I got the salad bar and a side of mixed veggies. Where do I even begin? The salad bar was lackluster and super limited, with weird sides. and nothing made sense. I wish I had taken a picture of the only, quote unquote, soup on the salad bar, which looked more like melted glue with onions in it. I tasted it just to try. Huh, okay, hmm whimsy pumpkin spice.

[00:11:57] CHELSEY DONN: oh god, okay,

[00:11:58] TREY GERRALD: I tasted it just to try to figure out what in the world it was.

[00:12:04] CHELSEY DONN: oh no,

[00:12:05] TREY GERRALD: And I still don't know,

[00:12:10] CHELSEY DONN: oh,

[00:12:11] TREY GERRALD: One bite and I was repulsed,

[00:12:14] CHELSEY DONN: god,

[00:12:16] TREY GERRALD: I got a standard salad, No oil and vinegar on the bar,

[00:12:21] CHELSEY DONN: oh

[00:12:24] TREY GERRALD: The meal itself was so bad, That I couldn't even eat half of it,

[00:12:31] CHELSEY DONN: god, still ain't it, oh no,

[00:12:38] TREY GERRALD: It tasted sour, And was expensive, Was what you got,

[00:12:48] CHELSEY DONN: oh god,

[00:12:50] TREY GERRALD: I ordered a side of mixed veggies,

[00:12:53] CHELSEY DONN: oh no,

[00:12:54] TREY GERRALD: And they tasted like actual fish.

[00:12:59] CHELSEY DONN: That is my nightmare,

[00:13:02] TREY GERRALD: I took one bite and couldn't continue.

[00:13:05] CHELSEY DONN: no, oh

[00:13:07] TREY GERRALD: As the owner of a food business myself, I know what food is supposed to taste like. And this was repulsive. To add to it, as soon as we left, I became extremely nauseous.

[00:13:25] CHELSEY DONN: no,

[00:13:26] TREY GERRALD: and almost threw up for the next several hours. Thankfully, I did not. However,

[00:13:33] CHELSEY DONN: oh god,

[00:13:35] TREY GERRALD: the very next day, I had water diarrhea all day long.

[00:13:39] CHELSEY DONN: oh no, oh no I've been there,

[00:13:42] TREY GERRALD: Not something that happens to me ever. Do not eat here.

[00:13:50] CHELSEY DONN: oh god, Oh my god, I forgot that I almost, I almost complained about stomach flu, which would have been even

[00:13:58] TREY GERRALD: Oh, that was funny.

[00:14:00] CHELSEY DONN: But, oh my god, okay, here's the thing, I have a real theory, and my theory is that the sense of smell in the nose was invented to prevent having to ingest things that look suspicious.

The fact that Lindsay saw this soup, said it looked like glue with goopy onions in it, and then decided to eat it?

[00:14:29] TREY GERRALD: I'm

[00:14:29] CHELSEY DONN: I can understand smelling it, maybe, just to be like, what is this? I'm curious. But eating it? I mean, I'm very, I just got over a stomach bug, so I'm very, like, my stomach is still, like, I'm on high alert.

So if I saw anything, like, my veggies smelled of fish. I wouldn't eat it.

[00:14:51] TREY GERRALD: No.

[00:14:52] CHELSEY DONN: They talk about the food tasting sour, but they ate almost

[00:14:55] TREY GERRALD: Half of it. What the heck?

[00:14:57] CHELSEY DONN: the hell out of here. I mean,

[00:15:01] TREY GERRALD: Sour? What do you think that means?

[00:15:03] CHELSEY DONN: Like rotten.

[00:15:05] TREY GERRALD: Young turkey and

[00:15:06] CHELSEY DONN: of all, that's young turkey. What does

[00:15:09] TREY GERRALD: does that

[00:15:09] CHELSEY DONN: mean? Is that like the veal of turkey? Like it's like a baby?

[00:15:15] TREY GERRALD: I guess? But don't you want turkey to be big?

[00:15:18] CHELSEY DONN: I

[00:15:19] TREY GERRALD: And old? Maybe you don't want it to

[00:15:21] CHELSEY DONN: Maybe not old. I don't know. I just think this is very strange. I guess things like started to kind of make sense for me for Lindsay when they said that they're an owner of a food business and they know what food like I kind of at that point I was like I can understand being like You You know, just like wanting that, like,

[00:15:39] TREY GERRALD: Like Unchopped,

[00:15:40] CHELSEY DONN: yeah, exactly how it's like the chop judges have to at least like taste

[00:15:45] TREY GERRALD: uh, by, right,

[00:15:46] CHELSEY DONN: bite of whatever this concoction is, even if they think that like, maybe it's, it's gross, but like,

[00:15:51] TREY GERRALD: this is not Chopped.

[00:15:53] CHELSEY DONN: this is not chopped.

You're just at this restaurant. There's absolutely zero reason to like pass go. Also what I'm curious about, they didn't go to this restaurant alone, right? At the top, they told us that they were stopping through town or am I mixing that up? Do they,

[00:16:09] TREY GERRALD: It doesn't say.

[00:16:11] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, so we don't know if they were alone or not.

[00:16:13] TREY GERRALD: They don't give us any background of who they're with. As soon as we left.

[00:16:17] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, we laugh. There you go. So I'm immediately wondering, like, like, did you just order badly? Like, is this, like, not the kind of place where you want to get a turkey dinner? Like, do you want to just get a burger or do you want to just get, like, something very plain? Okay, so how do you imagine this whole salad bar side turkey dinner scenario was set out on the menu?

Because you've been a server before.

[00:16:41] TREY GERRALD: Well, I just imagined that they ordered the. Turkey and stuffing. It comes with two sides. One side is the veggies, and then they decided to also get the salad bar. So that's either like one of the sides, or that is like you start, you're doing a starter, which is the salad bar.

[00:16:56] CHELSEY DONN: right. That's what I would think. I would think that the turkey dinner comes with the salad bar and

[00:17:03] TREY GERRALD: a couple of extra

[00:17:03] CHELSEY DONN: Or you pay extra or So I was thinking, like, initially, because they weren't saying, other than the soup, they weren't saying that the salad looked gross, they said that there was no vinegar and oil, which I feel like maybe you could have asked your server for salad dressing, but I feel like when it's a free kind of add on salad bar, I'm not expecting it to be that avant garde, I'm not expecting there to be soup, I would think that it's just like, Literally a salad bar.

[00:17:30] TREY GERRALD: I had that thought too about like, oh, they have soup on the salad bar, like,

[00:17:35] CHELSEY DONN: Like I feel like any complaint of like it was like pretty sparse is like, well, what are you expecting? This isn't like the Sizzler or like where I don't know. This isn't like a restaurant where they're like the whole Megillah is the salad bar. I don't think like I think that this is just like there's a deli.

Near where I grew up and they have a pickle bar, right? And that's like included when you like order your sandwich, you can visit the pickle bar and it has pickles and it has other pickled vegetables and some sauerkraut and some health salad, and I think it's lovely, like is there soup and like Romaine at this bar?

No, there's not, but I'm not expecting it because it's not like I'm going to a buffet, I'm just visiting the pickle bar. I think about this salad bar in a similar way. Yeah.

[00:18:22] TREY GERRALD: But if I think about Ruby Tuesday, which used to be famous for having a salad bar, I think they did have soups as well. But I, but I get your point too, because also in full disclosure, this restaurant, Chelsey, I sent you some of the pictures like on Yelp, like this is a place where like the placemat, has like the branding of the restaurant like it feels like a mom and pop the menu is like laminated

[00:18:46] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, it looks like a diner.

[00:18:48] TREY GERRALD: It looks like a diner, and if you zoom in on this food, like, the breakfast looks fine, but like, I don't know

[00:18:54] CHELSEY DONN: I mean that the turkey dinner looks awful. It looks like...

[00:18:57] TREY GERRALD: the turkey dinner looks

[00:18:59] CHELSEY DONN: thick turkey that looks like it could have come from like a frozen

[00:19:03] TREY GERRALD: it looks like very 80s, 90s, there's like a picture of like the circular carousel of pies, which is charming, but then like, there is a photo, if you look, of the salad bar, there's a bunch of saran wrap on things, and like, it just, like, I would not trust the salad bar here.

[00:19:21] CHELSEY DONN: There's like a random like loaf of bread, but it's like, it's like Wonder Bread.

[00:19:27] TREY GERRALD: Yes.

[00:19:28] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. I mean, like I definitely, okay. Now that I'm looking at the menu and I'm looking at everything, I would never order the turkey dinner from this place. Call me crazy.

[00:19:38] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, me either. I would get like a sandwich.

[00:19:41] CHELSEY DONN: good. I would get a burger.

I would get a sandwich. I would get.

[00:19:43] TREY GERRALD: Definitely fries.

[00:19:44] CHELSEY DONN: Eggs, breakfast food,

[00:19:47] TREY GERRALD: For sure. Yeah. It does

[00:19:48] CHELSEY DONN: in the breakfast realm I feel like would be okay, like they have like a picture of a banana split. On the menu, like, come here for ice cream, I think you're safe. I just think, why are we, why is Lindsay expecting, it's like she's expecting fine dining.

[00:20:08] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, that, well, all two points here, because I think your point about, was Lindsay the only person in their party that was sick? Because that seems like important information that's not included. And also your point that like, this is not. La Bernadine. This is like literally like a little family restaurant on the side of the road.

So, okay, what about this water diarrhea?

[00:20:31] CHELSEY DONN: Oh

[00:20:31] TREY GERRALD: is something Lindsay Never, never gets. This never happens to Lindsay.

[00:20:37] CHELSEY DONN: mean, I think Lindsay is one of those people that is just like, I got a stomach of steel, goopy as soup, let me try it, you know, just like, what the hell, like, sour meat, give it here, you know, just,

[00:20:51] TREY GERRALD: No. So?

[00:20:51] CHELSEY DONN: well, like, I don't know why, like, I would assume that if I ate sour meat, and Goopy Soup, that I would have diarrhea, right?

Now, do I want to eat at this restaurant after reading this review? No.

[00:21:10] TREY GERRALD: No,

[00:21:11] CHELSEY DONN: I'm guessing you and David didn't stop here. Oh no, you did?

[00:21:19] TREY GERRALD: we didn't. No, we chose not to.

[00:21:20] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. Okay. I was like,

[00:21:22] TREY GERRALD: to a Mediterranean place.

[00:21:23] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. Yeah. So I think that there's an impact here. I don't think I'm going to stop at this restaurant. I don't think I'm going to eat here, but I don't know that like, I trust Lindsey.

I find Lindsey hilarious. Like I just find anyone hilarious. That's going to describe like a food that is disgusting. And they'd be like, I tried it. I ate it. What

[00:21:43] TREY GERRALD: Also,

[00:21:44] CHELSEY DONN: crazy?

[00:21:45] TREY GERRALD: also this whole comment about the oil and vinegar, I'm wondering if that's kind of like a health dig and looking at the photo of that salad bar, nowhere in my mind do I think there would be oil and vinegar on the salad bar.

[00:22:00] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, you mean, but yeah. Ranch dressing. Thank

[00:22:03] TREY GERRALD: It's going to be Ranch Thousand Island.

It's going to be Italian. It's going to be like disgusting. Like it's just not people aren't going to be

[00:22:10] CHELSEY DONN: I mean the containers like, like listen, I would not get the salad bar. I just think this is a classic example of Lindsay made absolutely the wrong choice

[00:22:22] TREY GERRALD: Correct.

[00:22:23] CHELSEY DONN: in everything that they ordered.

[00:22:25] TREY GERRALD: Right. It's like when you and I separately went to Nobu and we did not eat fish.

[00:22:30] CHELSEY DONN: Right. But that's just us. But

[00:22:32] TREY GERRALD: You don't go to

[00:22:33] CHELSEY DONN: steak was delicious. The steak was delicious because it was no boo. But like,

[00:22:38] TREY GERRALD: think Lindsay's getting the right meals here

[00:22:41] CHELSEY DONN: I don't think Lindsay's ordering the right thing. I don't think you get a, this turkey meal. I like, I would imagine it was frozen in the back, right? Like, I just don't think that this is going to be.

I'm freshly carving a turkey back here. And I think if you work in a restaurant and you work in the food biz, then your discretion should be a little bit better. Like I'm looking at these pictures and I'm knowing I'm probably going to get breakfast. Honestly, I might not even risk the burger.

[00:23:06] TREY GERRALD: Correct. Just give me an omelette.

[00:23:08] CHELSEY DONN: Just give me an omelet.

[00:23:10] TREY GERRALD: But, now that I'm looking closer at the actual review, the only thing that wasn't bad actually was the salad. Which is interesting. Because they're saying the meal was so bad they could only eat half of it, the soup was like disgusting, and the only complaint about the standard salad was that there was no oil and vinegar on the bar.

[00:23:28] CHELSEY DONN: right. Which maybe they could have gotten from their server

[00:23:31] TREY GERRALD: Why do you think that the mixed veggies tasted like actual fish?

[00:23:34] CHELSEY DONN: because maybe nobody effing orders the like turkey dinner. So they like took them off of the like fish, you know, like, yeah, I don't know.

[00:23:43] TREY GERRALD: Like the carrots? What do you think the mixed veggies were? Carrots, broccoli, cauliflower?

[00:23:49] CHELSEY DONN: I think carrots, string beans, peas.

[00:23:52] TREY GERRALD: Oh my god, do you remember peas? I love peas. I love early peas, the little teeny baby ones.

[00:23:59] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, English peas, such baby little peas.

[00:24:04] TREY GERRALD: Alright.

[00:24:05] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my god, I do feel like nauseous, I'll give her that.

[00:24:09] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, it does, it does definitely have an impact. Valuable, unique information here. I mean, they got very sick from eating here, and that has an impact on me. Separate of Lindsey's, like, personality. Right. I mean, it's interesting that they felt the need to, like, consume a lot

[00:24:27] CHELSEY DONN: trying the soup was just like,

[00:24:29] TREY GERRALD: it's so insane.

There was a couple of spelling errors,

[00:24:33] CHELSEY DONN: definitely some failures I heard,

[00:24:35] TREY GERRALD: humor was off the chart, we were really guffawing,

[00:24:38] CHELSEY DONN: it was rolling, but not necessarily like the intended outcome I don't think from Lindsay, I think

[00:24:45] TREY GERRALD: but, correct.

[00:24:46] CHELSEY DONN: takes themselves very seriously but that being said, the review was humorous.

[00:24:50] TREY GERRALD: But then this whole thing we kept going on about is like, Lindsay ordered the wrong item. Is that gonna be a fluke? Like, do we think that that Lindsay just was fluky? Like, do we think that everything is

[00:25:01] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, I don't know how many people are going to this restaurant and ordering the turkey dinner, the turkey, you know, dinner. I thought, I don't think it's a fluke. I think that there's probably a lot of disappointed diners.

[00:25:13] TREY GERRALD: Yeah. And, and maybe the quality.

[00:25:15] CHELSEY DONN: What was the overall? Do we know?

[00:25:19] TREY GERRALD: 3. 4 out of 72 reviews. It's unclaimed.

[00:25:23] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, so like that, and that seems about right. You know, like I don't think you're gonna go and have a five star experience at this, what I consider to be, diner.

[00:25:33] TREY GERRALD: Oh my God. I just realized it's Ardal V and Lindsay ended up sharding

[00:25:39] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my god, you're right! Of course she sharded from Shardersville. Shard a ville!

[00:25:43] TREY GERRALD: ardal. All right. I could crown Lindsay.

[00:25:47] CHELSEY DONN: I can crown Lindsay.

[00:25:49] TREY GERRALD: Okay, so Chelsea and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards. In an effort to be fair and not influenced by one another, we will simultaneously reveal our ratings.

[00:25:57] VOICEOVER: Queens are tabulating, Total

[00:26:06] CHELSEY DONN: Wow, fascinating. I'm holding up two and a half crowns, Trey is holding up four and a half crowns. Nearly a Review Queen. Super curious to hear about that. I went with two and a half for the laughs. Like, I laughed. That was a good Lindsay. You got me, you got me with the laughs, you got me, you got me, that's where the two and a half crowns comes from.

Clearly you got a stomach of steel or you thought you did. I just, I don't know that I trust Lindsay as a reliable narrator. I don't know that most people would be like, that looks disgusting. Let me try it. I just don't know. That that's going to be the most common experience. And I don't know that everybody's going to order this.

I think maybe more people would be like you and I, Trey, and, and kind of go breakfast, go, go really basic. And I think those are the people that are writing the four star reviews. So for that reason, I decided to go with two and a half crowns, middle of the road, most of the heavy lifting coming from the fact that I just got a real good chuckle.

But you almost went full Review Queen. Super curious to hear why. Why did you go with four and a half crowns for Lindsay, who chartled in Charter's Chartles?

[00:27:23] TREY GERRALD: Do you think that Blue Mountain Family Restaurant serves pumpkin spice?

[00:27:27] CHELSEY DONN: I probably, they probably have it like way in the back and Lindsay's like, I'll take the pumpkin spice pancakes on the side, you know?

[00:27:36] TREY GERRALD: So I said four and a half ultimately because the impact is like I don't want to shart.

[00:27:42] CHELSEY DONN: No, thank

[00:27:42] TREY GERRALD: I don't want water diarrhea.

[00:27:45] CHELSEY DONN: No, I do certainly do not have just gotten out of that.

[00:27:48] TREY GERRALD: And I do feel like I, I understand the allure of like this Thanksgiving dinner.

[00:27:55] CHELSEY DONN: Right.

[00:27:55] TREY GERRALD: And I think that this is like the warning, you know, like consider

[00:27:59] CHELSEY DONN: been warned.

[00:28:00] TREY GERRALD: like consider what is being prepared in that kitchen.

[00:28:04] CHELSEY DONN: Right.

[00:28:04] TREY GERRALD: is this the place you want roasted turkey from? Like, maybe not. Um,

[00:28:08] CHELSEY DONN: absolutely not.

[00:28:10] TREY GERRALD: and honestly, like Lindsay doesn't include a photo, but the actual photos on Yelp really were the deal breaker.

And I am the person that loves. Nasty, trashy, I want fast food, I want diners, and this, the

[00:28:24] CHELSEY DONN: Even for you. It

[00:28:26] TREY GERRALD: like it hasn't been renovated, and since the 70s, and that feels unnerving to me,

[00:28:32] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah.

[00:28:32] TREY GERRALD: but I think that Lindsay, I think Lindsay's a little shady, but they were water diarrhea ing, and I think they have the right, so, I said four and a half because we decided to drive on, so, it did have an impact in real

[00:28:45] CHELSEY DONN: That's right. That's true. That is true. Oh my goodness. I so enjoyed that. Thank you, David, for finding that review for us. I really, really did enjoy that a lot. And Lindsay, I hope that you think twice, man, before just.

[00:29:02] TREY GERRALD: putting that spoon in your mouth, ugh,

[00:29:04] CHELSEY DONN: We were given a nose for a wonderful reason. A sniff sniff is not going to leave you with diarrhea.

[00:29:10] TREY GERRALD: oof, yikes,

[00:29:13] CHELSEY DONN: All right. That was fun.

[00:29:15] TREY GERRALD: speaking of reveling,

[00:29:18] CHELSEY DONN: Yes.

[00:29:19] TREY GERRALD: Chelsey, we've done it, we have reached the most regal portion of today's show,

[00:29:22] CHELSEY DONN: Yes.

[00:29:23] TREY GERRALD: you inducting today? FOA?

[00:29:25] VOICEOVER: Score, My Royal Highness,

[00:29:28] CHELSEY DONN: Thank you for asking Trey. So for today's Royal Highness, I decided to dig into my Good Samaritan files and find a sweet story to share with you all today. So just a couple of weeks ago in real time, a pilot flew an American Girl doll 5, 880 miles to return it to a nine year old girl who lost it. You guys, how's How sweet is that?

American Airlines pilot James Dannen first learned about Valentina Dominguez's lost doll through her parents Facebook post.

[00:30:05] TREY GERRALD: Wow,

[00:30:05] CHELSEY DONN: Rudy and Celeste Dominguez had last seen the doll on their plane to Tokyo, where the family had a celebration. Stopover while traveling back to their home in Plano, Texas. After a trip to Bali, Dannon, who's based out of the Dallas Fort Worth area, contacted Turkish airlines lost and found at Tokyo's Haneda airport and located the missing toy.

He then traveled with the doll named Beatrice and even took photos of her throughout their journey, which he sent to Valentina. Dannon said that it's his nature. He likes helping people and that's just that's just what he likes to do. That's his jam. He really is so glad that he could do something nice for someone and this nine year old girl is just beyond thrilled to have been Reunited with her doll.

They even show a Photo of Dannon handing the doll over to a very, very happy nine year old. So, wow, I mean, she asked him when he gave her the doll, was she well behaved on the flight? And he said, yes, very well behaved. Um, he also gifted her some Japanese treats and a map that tracked all the places where Beatrice had been.

How cute is that, you guys? So sweet. I mean, I just love stories like this. I just think it's so nice. I think there's something so cool about the fact that this wasn't even the pilot of the plane where it was lost, but that this pilot saw that this had happened and went the extra mile and tracked it down and flew it.

I mean, just such a cool story. These kind of things just really warm my heart and remind me that there are good people, and I just also remember being a kid and that feeling of losing something on vacation is just so heartbreaking, so I just wanted to say a very special thank you to our pilot James Dannen of Fort Worth for just being such a queen and making this girl's day by doing something so sweet, so thank you American Airlines Captain James Dannen.

You are my Royal Highness.

[00:32:15] VOICEOVER: It's

[00:32:17] TREY GERRALD: that's amazing, especially because the parents could have literally just bought another doll, an American Girl doll,

[00:32:23] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, but you know what? I feel like you couldn't, because it's like you, even as a kid, like I, I was obsessed with this stuffed dog named Muttsy that I guess other people had, but like I always thought Muttsy was like my dog, and if I left Muttsy somewhere, even if my parents could have replaced him, it wouldn't really be the same.

I would always know that it wasn't

[00:32:44] TREY GERRALD: of course, yeah,

[00:32:45] CHELSEY DONN: you know? So I just thought, what a sweet story.

[00:32:49] TREY GERRALD: and how nice that Beatrice was like on such a huge journey. And now, Valentina gets to track, like, all of Beatrice's happenings. That's

[00:33:00] CHELSEY DONN: I know.

[00:33:01] TREY GERRALD: Great job, Pilot, Captain, Dannon. Bye, Dannon!

[00:33:07] CHELSEY DONN: by Dannon. Oh my god, I love it. Well, that's so fun, Trey. What a good episode.

[00:33:14] TREY GERRALD: That was really fun. I'm appreciative for not having water diarrhea.

[00:33:18] CHELSEY DONN: so glad that you guys didn't stop and eat there. I was, when I asked you that and you sort of hesitated, I was like, oh no.

[00:33:25] TREY GERRALD: No, no, I have to save room for Pumpkin Spice, because that's another round on the R U A R Q. Ferris wheel of soup that looks like melted glue with onions in

[00:33:38] CHELSEY DONN: better taste it. Thank you for joining us today. If you like what you heard, please tell a friend.

[00:33:43] TREY GERRALD: If you did not like what you heard, please tell an enemy.

[00:33:46] CHELSEY DONN: On today's After Show Pod, Trey, get ready, we are rating and reviewing a five star review from Amazon for Wall Monkey's Senior Woman with Asthma Wall Decal Peel and Stick Graphic, 24 inches height by 21 inches width.

[00:34:13] VOICEOVER: supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

[00:34:18] TREY GERRALD: Hmm, woman asthma. I know the man, or maybe it is a woman.

[00:34:26] CHELSEY DONN: It's an old lady literally holding an inhale.

[00:34:29] TREY GERRALD: oh my god. Well, I just, I really can't even begin to ponder why this was said. I mean, this is just, this is too much. It's too

[00:34:41] CHELSEY DONN: it's too much. Me too. I wonder what made us say that.

[00:34:48] TREY GERRALD: Well, as we question, why don't we just all remember,

[00:34:52] CHELSEY DONN: Ignore the haters. You're a pumpkin spice queen!

[00:34:56] TREY GERRALD: Gender nonspecific Pumpkin Spice Queen,

[00:34:59] CHELSEY DONN: That's

[00:35:03] VOICEOVER: Sign up directly on Apple Podcast to hear our weekly members only after show unlock additional benefits when you become a Patreon slash patreon. Follow us on all the socials at the review queens and join our mailing Arc vetch line is open 24 7 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.

Don't be a ogana. Call the kvetch line today.


[00:35:30] CHELSEY DONN: right.

[00:35:31] TREY GERRALD: I just got the

[00:35:32] CHELSEY DONN: Today! Did you get the text?

[00:35:33] TREY GERRALD: know this, I know this meme. Oh my god.

[00:35:37] CHELSEY DONN: my goodness.

[00:35:38] TREY GERRALD: dead.

[00:35:41] CHELSEY DONN: All right, well, I can't wait to read you this five star review. It's something.

[00:35:45] TREY GERRALD: I can't wait to hear how you fucking filmed this.

[00:35:48] CHELSEY DONN: Alright, meet us at the after show, patreon, reviewthatreview. com slash patreon, And I'll see you

[00:35:55] TREY GERRALD: Ciao.

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.


Photo by Girl with red hat on Unsplash

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