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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 127: "50 Ways to Eat Cock - 5 Star Review"



Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 127: "50 Ways to Eat Cock - 5 Star Review"

Transcription


*Please pardon any and all spelling errors!




[00:00:00] THEME SONG: Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!



[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hello,

[00:00:32] Trey Gerrald: Hi there, and welcome to Review That Review. We are the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing you. Well, don't you know, that's Chelsey Donn!

[00:00:46] Chelsey Donn: Review, and don't you know that, Trey Gerrald,

[00:00:48] Trey Gerrald: And when we come together, don't you know it, we are,

[00:00:52] VOICEOVER: Review Queens,

[00:00:55] Trey Gerrald: Don't you know it?

[00:00:56] Chelsey Donn: don't you know it, it is your turn, my queen, do you have something you'd like to get off your chest, would you like to,

[00:01:04] VOICEOVER: lodge a complaint,

[00:01:05] Trey Gerrald: Well, don't you know it, I sure do. Well, I told you this off mic yesterday, actually, or, yeah, yesterday. I just had a litany of complaints come to me over the last week, so I am ready for the next several months. Queen's cuz I got a bunch and today I'm gonna start with one of the most annoying of all mixing and stirring organic peanut butter.

God, I hate it. I, I don't know. It's like, you know when you get a bag of potato chips and like Half of it is air. I feel like when you get an organic

[00:01:41] Chelsey Donn: half of it's

[00:01:41] Trey Gerrald: tub of peanut butter, half of it is that droopy, sticky oil that like, I can't even, and I like to mix with a regular butter knife, so I can't even Get the knife into the center and stir it around without it splooging all over the top, dripping down my hand.

And it's like, it is like syrup to where like, once that oil touches you, you, it's there, no matter how much soap you

[00:02:08] Chelsey Donn: there goes

[00:02:08] Trey Gerrald: to be there seven hours later. And you have to be really methodical about the mixing because inevitably, Once you get to the very bottom of that container in a month, it is so crusty dry.

I, how has someone not, and I know that like we love to like segue by saying like shark tank, but how has someone not created like a handheld mixing blender type thing that stirs up the oil? into that peanut butter because

[00:02:38] Chelsey Donn: it, it would have to be like a peanut butter cover, so it would have to like cover it almost completely, so that, yeah, so that there's no splatter

[00:02:45] Trey Gerrald: like a french press

[00:02:46] Chelsey Donn: yes, Trey,

[00:02:48] Trey Gerrald: if you could do that it just is so maddening to me and i even get to the point to where i'm like i gotta get another thing of peanut butter Ugh. Like, I will stretch out my peanut butter consumption because it's that upsetting to me because I can't master it.

[00:03:06] Chelsey Donn: I know.

[00:03:07] Trey Gerrald: Do you have this issue with peanut butter?

[00:03:09] Chelsey Donn: I do, and I gotta say, like, I do think that there's, like, an organic 365 no stir, and I know that, like, there's probably something in it that I'm not supposed to eat, like how the shredded cheese has, like, plastic in it or something, but I agree. I just, I was so over it. I was personally, because I was so fed up just pouring the oil out because I couldn't even deal with it, but then, I Yeah.

Cause it was just like, get out of here. I can't with you, but then you're right. Then it gets dry and crusty and it doesn't really have the right moisture. And it's, it is. It's very annoying. I think that, like, it just is supposed to show us that it's natural because I guess that's what naturally happens to the nuts is they separate from the oil.

I don't freaking know, but

[00:03:59] Trey Gerrald: but I will tell you that I tried Jif recently, which is like what I grew up on, and it is so foul. It is.

[00:04:08] Chelsey Donn: think it's foul because you've become so accustomed to, like, a better peanut butter.

[00:04:13] Trey Gerrald: Well, it just doesn't taste like peanut butter to me. It tastes like weird... Artificial. It tastes artificial to me.

[00:04:22] Chelsey Donn: What about, like, Justin's? Like, I feel like Justin's is a good, like, doesn't really require much of a stir.

[00:04:27] Trey Gerrald: Did they have normal peanut butter or is it all almond? Is it all

[00:04:30] Chelsey Donn: No, they have normal peanut

[00:04:32] Trey Gerrald: Oh, they do. Oh, I don't know. Cause even like you, I have found like a generic organic peanut butter that isn't really stir necessary. But I also really, I might need to mention this as a clarification. I think we've talked about this, but I love crunchy peanut butter.

[00:04:47] Chelsey Donn: Mm hmm. Me too.

[00:04:48] Trey Gerrald: love extra crunchy. So that's even harder because there's different size texture clumps throughout and it

[00:04:56] Chelsey Donn: Oh, yeah, just stir with the clumps. Uh

[00:04:58] Trey Gerrald: It's really hard.

[00:05:00] Chelsey Donn: it's a challenge.

[00:05:01] Trey Gerrald: very upsetting to me. It's similar to you. I thought of this when you said you poured the oil out in the past Did you know that when you get yogurt? You're supposed to stir that water in because that's the separation of the like nutrients You have to because I used to always pour it out, but that's actually the

[00:05:18] Chelsey Donn: out too.

[00:05:19] Trey Gerrald: So I found

[00:05:19] Chelsey Donn: is it? Okay.

[00:05:21] Trey Gerrald: that but at least

[00:05:22] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, cuz I was like, ew, what's that water in my yogurt? Boom.

[00:05:26] Trey Gerrald: Oh, that's the good stuff, like, that's the probiotics or whatever, I'm making that up, I don't know science, but, it is the good, like, you are supposed to whip it back in, anyway,

[00:05:33] Chelsey Donn: Whip.

[00:05:34] Trey Gerrald: I, I mean, once that came to me the other day when I was, Cause I prepared, so I had, I bought two things of peanut butter at once, so once I was finishing the first one I was like, oh my god, I have to

[00:05:46] Chelsey Donn: There we go again.

[00:05:47] Trey Gerrald: cause I am dreading that the next time I want peanut butter, I'm gonna have to stir it, cause I'm not gonna pre stir it, I even tried

[00:05:55] Chelsey Donn: I know you need like You need gloves and a smock or something. I don't know what you need.

[00:05:59] Trey Gerrald: I need like, a larger can or

[00:06:02] Chelsey Donn: cloth?

[00:06:03] Trey Gerrald: yeah, it's obnoxious, I hate it, that's my complaint, I wish everyone

[00:06:07] Chelsey Donn: Adding it to the ledger.

[00:06:09] Trey Gerrald: peanut butter ease in the future, okay?

[00:06:12] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I really like that peanut butter at, um, Whole Foods where you can, like, make it yourself. I don't know if that

[00:06:19] Trey Gerrald: done that.

[00:06:19] Chelsey Donn: Maybe you could try that. Yeah, I recommend. Yeah. Especially if you're a frequent peanut butter eater and you love that, like, kind of natural, ooh, I can taste the nuts moment.

Speaking of tasting nuts, Should we jump in to an online review?

[00:06:36] Trey Gerrald: If this is somehow related, I'm literally gonna scream and the microphone's gonna peak out. Okay, let's do it.

[00:06:44] VOICEOVER: Review That Review,

[00:06:48] Chelsey Donn: As you know, we are your trusty review queens. We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

[00:06:56] Trey Gerrald: Don't you know we read you that review and we break it down, rating the impact of that review on a scale from zero to five crowns. It's a very regal process that we call,

[00:07:09] VOICEOVER: Assess That Kvetch,

[00:07:11] Trey Gerrald: and I'm a little concerned. So, Chelsey, or as I wrote, What have you got for us today, Chelsey, Bo Belsey, Banana Fana, Fo Felsey,

[00:07:21] Chelsey Donn: Me, my,

[00:07:22] Trey Gerrald: Melsey,

[00:07:23] Chelsey Donn: my, Melsy, Chelsey. Okay, Trey, I love us so much. So, what I have brought in today... This is a five star review for a cookbook called, 50 Ways to Eat Cock, Healthy Chicken Recipes with Balls.

[00:07:43] Trey Gerrald: wait, oh god, this is a lot of penis puns, Five

[00:07:50] Chelsey Donn: You started it,

[00:07:52] Trey Gerrald: to eat cock,

[00:07:54] Chelsey Donn: Ways to Eat Cock, Healthy Chicken Recipes with Balls. Paperback, 8. 05 overall rating, 4. 7,

[00:08:08] Trey Gerrald: it's only 8. 50,

[00:08:09] Chelsey Donn: 989 reviews, that's right.

[00:08:11] Trey Gerrald: who wrote this?

[00:08:13] Chelsey Donn: Okay, it was written by Adrian N. Hugh, comma, CN, which I believe means like Certified Nutritionist. This is what the little like blurb. It's actually kind of a long blurb, says, Don't settle for limp imitations, Get the original cock book everyone is raving about, Often imitated but never duplicated, We don't pay for reviews.

Let's face it, anyone can copy and paste chicken recipes from the internet, but 50 Ways to Eat Cock is for the serious epicurean who's tempted by the exquisite taste of well prepared cock. Cooking cock is harder than most people think. Unlike everyday chicken, it can be tough, stringy, and dry. Learn to slay this beast from someone who has trained at the breast of some of Europe's sauciest moms and grandmas.

You'll be sure to put a smile on everyone's face with these lip smacking recipes. With healthy chicken recipes like Risotto Cockballs and Cock Os, 50 Ways to Eat Cock is a contagiously humorous chicken cookbook that takes a revealing look at the folklore, history, culinary culture, and nutritional benefits of this well endowed ingredient.

With tongue in cheek descriptions and clearly written instructions, these playful cock recipes are bulging with everything from the quintessential to the quick and easy to the downright quirky. You'll learn how to tame this tough bird meat into succulent and finger licking gourmet meals. Finally, the noble cock retakes his rightful place at the head of the table.

[00:10:04] Trey Gerrald: I feel like we should purchase this book

[00:10:09] Chelsey Donn: Yes,

[00:10:10] Trey Gerrald: and do a recipe as a live show.

[00:10:13] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Oh my god. I'm so should we make the risotto balls? That sounds delicious.

[00:10:17] Trey Gerrald: well, I'm assuming that every recipe is titled something cock, cockos, so we could do a drinking game as we're cooking,

[00:10:28] Chelsey Donn: oh yeah,

[00:10:29] Trey Gerrald: the word cock comes up, we have to,

[00:10:32] Chelsey Donn: yeah, we may or may not end up in the hospital at the end of it

[00:10:36] Trey Gerrald: Woo!

[00:10:36] Chelsey Donn: like alcohol poisoning.

[00:10:38] Trey Gerrald: Okay, I'm excited for this review, because it's a five star.

[00:10:43] Chelsey Donn: This is a five star review from Amazon, not Goodreads, even though it's a book,

[00:10:50] Trey Gerrald: Big

[00:10:50] Chelsey Donn: and although I don't know if this is, I don't know if this is Goodreads appropriate, so Seth A. R., this is the subject, Seth A. R. Rawr. Okay. A whole new look at the meat aisle. Here we go. 50 seems like a lot of ways, doesn't it? I'm sure there are lots of people out there who have no intention of eating cock 50 times, much less eating it 50 different ways.

Most people probably couldn't come up with 10 different ways to eat cock without the help of a Cosmo magazine, but then, Isn't that the whole purpose of the book? You don't have to love eating cock to buy this book. Maybe you had it once and didn't like it. Surely you can find one of the 49 remaining methods that is more to your liking, no? Or maybe you've loved cock your whole life and are looking for new ways to enjoy it. In which case, a book of 50 different techniques is bound to have something new inside. Honestly, 50 Ways to Eat Cock is a great book for the entire range of cock gobblers,

[00:12:13] Trey Gerrald: Oh

[00:12:14] Chelsey Donn: white cock, dark cock, moist or dry. The book covers many different ways to enjoy the variety of cock you find in the average supermarket.

Seriously though, it is actually a very useful cookbook with a nice range of recipes that provide a relief from the simple ways most people cook chicken, but the shock value of the name is worth the purchase price alone.

[00:12:46] Trey Gerrald: How did you find this review today?

[00:12:50] Chelsey Donn: I honestly don't know. I'm sure it was a part of my gag gift revolution. I was thinking we're coming up to Thanksgiving, so it felt like an appropriate time to dabble in the cock. Thank Humor. I do think it's sort of funny that you talked about nuts on the day that I decided to bring in this review, but anyway, it has 187, like, helpful votes, so I'm not sure if it ended up on one of those lists and that's how I found it, but I think I just saw the title of the book and I was like, this has got to have something.

[00:13:22] Trey Gerrald: I'm looking at the cover of the book, and it is like a rooster, like, Like, mid, like,

[00:13:29] Chelsey Donn: Cacaw!

[00:13:30] Trey Gerrald: yeah, c cock.

[00:13:31] Chelsey Donn: Mick Cacaw, Cacawk.

[00:13:35] Trey Gerrald: And, just a little update, it is on Goodreads,

[00:13:39] Chelsey Donn: Oh, okay.

[00:13:40] Trey Gerrald: so there are 178 ratings, and their average is 3. 93.

[00:13:48] Chelsey Donn: I just saw that because I guess on Amazon, I'm looking at the screenshot now, it tells you the overall on Amazon and then underneath it, the overall on Goodreads. So that's super interesting that the Amazon community was a 4. 7 and then underneath it, it says 3. 9 on Goodreads.

So the Goodreads community.

[00:14:05] Trey Gerrald: more highbrow,

[00:14:06] Chelsey Donn: they're a little more highbrow.

[00:14:08] Trey Gerrald: so, I, I

[00:14:10] Chelsey Donn: I imagine you're buying this as a gag gift, right?

[00:14:13] Trey Gerrald: think you have to be. I mean, I don't know much about recipes and, like, cookbooks, so, to me, I'm intrigued, I think it's very funny, I also am thinking about Key West culture, where there's, like, roosters everywhere, like, this would be very funny to have, like, in your vacation rental, if you're, like, in Key West, you

[00:14:30] Chelsey Donn: oh my god, yeah, like if you were Airbnb ing out your place, just like have this on the coffee

[00:14:34] Trey Gerrald: Yes, so it is interesting because in that, you know, very lengthy parenthetical, Seth A. R. really does say, like, they, like, have interesting takes to, like, relieve you from the pains of the same sort of way of always cooking chicken, which I thought was interesting. And I also thought it was telling that Seth really went on the cock pun.

tongue in cheek description train because I'm

[00:15:02] Chelsey Donn: yeah.

[00:15:03] Trey Gerrald: the book itself is very much littered with that

[00:15:06] Chelsey Donn: Well, even the description of the book that I read prior to the review was very leaning in. I do think it's fascinating to me that this author is a certified nutritionist. And yet, they, they still went for the, the humor of it all, but maybe that's a good tactic, I mean it makes it stand out,

[00:15:25] Trey Gerrald: Well, I am, I'm also thinking, Adrian, the writer, is smart, because they knew, you gotta get a gimmick, they, Mazepa told us,

[00:15:35] Chelsey Donn: yeah,

[00:15:36] Trey Gerrald: a little gimmick, then everyone's gonna buy it, cause this is a much more interesting, Spin than

[00:15:42] Chelsey Donn: then if you were just like, 50 ways to cook chicken,

[00:15:44] Trey Gerrald: Right.

[00:15:46] Chelsey Donn: yeah,

[00:15:47] Trey Gerrald: I really was, um, I was arrested and, um, I sat up in my seat when Seth R used the phrase cock gobbler. Have you, Chelsey, ever been called a

[00:16:02] Chelsey Donn: range of cock a blurs, I don't believe I've ever been called one, no,

[00:16:08] Trey Gerrald: know, I'm from Columbia, South Carolina and, and USC, University of South Carolina, where I'm from. They're a mascot is a game cock. And, um, His name is Cocky, and so people love to say, Go Cox, and there's a lot of branded merchandise that's like, I love

[00:16:26] Chelsey Donn: very tongue in cheek,

[00:16:27] Trey Gerrald: Go Cox, I feel like this would sell really well there,

[00:16:31] Chelsey Donn: yeah. Oh,

[00:16:32] Trey Gerrald: I'm a huge cock.

[00:16:34] Chelsey Donn: Yes, exactly. Yeah, okay. So in terms of, clearly there's a little hanging fruit, right? Like we're going for The humor. Do we think that Seth delivered in the humor? Clearly, that was the main goal,

[00:16:51] Trey Gerrald: yeah, especially like, I think so. And especially when we're talking about these reviews that are probably comedy reviews as a five star, cause you're really not hurting anyone. Like it's meant. With humor and, and

[00:17:07] Chelsey Donn: Like, do we think Adrian would be like seal of approval?

[00:17:11] Trey Gerrald: I think so, I would imagine.

[00:17:14] Chelsey Donn: I

[00:17:14] Trey Gerrald: They're like taking the same, um, what, what would you say?

The same sort of,

[00:17:19] Chelsey Donn: like cut from the same cloth in terms of their comedic approach.

[00:17:24] Trey Gerrald: yes. But I do have a question, up top, Seth A. R., Make a very declarative statement saying no one wants to eat this much chicken like you who would be interested in 50 ways to eat chicken Well, I don't eat fish and I eat chicken a lot. So I'm actually very intrigued.

[00:17:43] Chelsey Donn: very, same, you know, I eat chicken almost every night, I eat cock like almost nightly, so I would be interested in 50 different

[00:17:51] Trey Gerrald: so you might

[00:17:52] Chelsey Donn: call me a cock gobbler, yeah, that's true,

[00:17:54] Trey Gerrald: that's Cock Goblin Don,

[00:17:59] Chelsey Donn: yeah, just cop gobbling Donn over here. Yeah,

[00:18:02] Trey Gerrald: So I did see on Goodreads, that this is published by an independent publishing platform. So

[00:18:13] Chelsey Donn: that makes sense.

[00:18:14] Trey Gerrald: not like Maxwell

[00:18:15] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, but you know what? A lot of people are not doing

[00:18:19] Trey Gerrald: Simon

[00:18:20] Chelsey Donn: Simon Schuster anymore because you can make way more money if you self publish. So even like legit, you know, books like, you know, I don't know if you guys know this, but Trey may or may not be now or in the future a ghost writer for some romance novels.

Disgusting, Trey,

[00:18:37] Trey Gerrald: Oh.

[00:18:39] Chelsey Donn: and if, if he were to go down that,

[00:18:42] Trey Gerrald: Quiet day.

[00:18:43] Chelsey Donn: if that were to happen or had happened, I'm sure that Trey would have to self publish those books. And so I do think self publishing, like the rap of self publishing has changed over, I would say the past decade, especially. If not, you know, longer than that, I don't really think that with the advent of Amazon and especially with a gag gift like this, like, why wouldn't I?

Like, if I'm the author of this book, absolutely, I'm

[00:19:13] Trey Gerrald: I want all the profits.

[00:19:14] Chelsey Donn: publish, independently publish.

[00:19:17] Trey Gerrald: That's actually, that's a really good point, actually. Because for some reason I do think... It must be lesser than, but I think that that's really not the case anymore and especially to your point like if this is like a silly gag book then like yeah that's perfect like who cares Simon and Schuster wouldn't want to

[00:19:34] Chelsey Donn: that's right, yeah, exactly,

[00:19:36] Trey Gerrald: so like given Seth AR's comedy review I think we can well but but they do do this very long parenthetical so I think they even are like winking at like Okay, I've made the stand up set, now let me just say, like, it actually is interesting, like, worth the 8.

[00:19:55] Chelsey Donn: exactly,

[00:19:56] Trey Gerrald: So that, I think, is valuable to me, cause they're, like, sort of, like, pausing the shtick to be like, it's 8, just get it.

[00:20:04] Chelsey Donn: do we think the ratio of shtick to review is appropriate or do you think we stayed in the shtick for too long?

[00:20:15] Trey Gerrald: You know, I don't know, cause I'm, I am generally not a lover of fake, like, funny reviews, but I think it's funny enough, Cock Gobbler really, like, really got me, and But I think it's appropriate, I mean, I, I do find it queenly that they do this long parenthetical, maybe they could have had more punctuation, but like, I do think it's a, I appreciate that they're sort of giving you a little bit of value, could there have been a little more value and less humor?

Sure, sure,

[00:20:43] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Okay. I think I tend to agree with that. Do we feel like there's useful information here? We said, I guess there was in the parenthetical, the spelling and grammar was good. I don't think it's shady at all. I mean, it's a five star review.

[00:20:57] Trey Gerrald: wait, what about the parenthetical? Is that all a run on sentence? Or no, there is punctuation in there,

[00:21:02] Chelsey Donn: No, I think it is a run on. No, there is punctuation. I think I just read it like

[00:21:07] Trey Gerrald: so but then, okay, so

[00:21:08] Chelsey Donn: No, no. Spelling and grammar is pretty good. Yeah. Generally speaking, obviously we were going for humor. I think that this probably is common.

[00:21:17] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, that people would get it and then think it's funny and then you're sort of like, oh, it's an interesting recipe. I'll try

[00:21:23] Chelsey Donn: Exactly. Or like, oh, I gotta go write a funny review about this crazy book and I'm gonna really dig deep into the cock Subs by www. zeoranger. co. uk Metaphor

[00:21:37] Trey Gerrald: You're

[00:21:37] Chelsey Donn: I'll over and I'm gonna rock out with my cock out and if I'm gonna be reading that like these reviews, I'm probably Expecting this and so maybe me as a Reader of reviews would be happy with the job that Seth A.

R. did here.

[00:21:55] Trey Gerrald: right?

[00:21:56] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, I think so And then generally what do we think like the impact is before we go into the crowning?

[00:22:02] Trey Gerrald: I mean, honestly, I do feel more inclined to buy it, which

[00:22:05] Chelsey Donn: I mean you said that we should do it on the show.

[00:22:08] Trey Gerrald: But that was before I even heard

[00:22:09] Chelsey Donn: Oh, that's true.

[00:22:10] Trey Gerrald: But I think that parenthetical lands pretty strongly for me. Like, I think that's very queenly.

[00:22:16] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, okay, I think that we've given Seth A. R. a good shake, haha, should we?

[00:22:24] Trey Gerrald: Was that a peeing in a urinal joke? Wait,

[00:22:30] Chelsey Donn: What?

[00:22:31] Trey Gerrald: or were you doing a different kind of shake, ma'am?

[00:22:33] Chelsey Donn: was doing a different kind of shake, ma'am,

[00:22:35] Trey Gerrald: Oh! Naughty, naughty, cocky. Alright, yeah, I can crown Seth

[00:22:42] Chelsey Donn: a shake weight. Okay, mm hmm, mm

[00:22:44] Trey Gerrald: Mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm. So, Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards. Cocky crown cards. In an effort to be fair and not influenced by one another's cocks, we will simultaneously reveal our cock ratings.

Ha!

[00:23:06] VOICEOVER: The Queens Are Tabulating, Total

[00:23:15] Chelsey Donn: wow, sorry, I choked, all right,

[00:23:23] Trey Gerrald: too big of a cock, she's choking.

[00:23:26] Chelsey Donn: I'm choking, okay, Trey and I are both holding up four and a half crowns, the Queens are unanimous on Seth A. R., Trey, you go first, let us know why you decided to give Seth A. R. four and a half crowns,

[00:23:38] Trey Gerrald: I really do think that whole, I really appreciate the compromise of like going for the joke and then also like giving a little bit of information that could encourage someone, you know, I would have loved a little more information about the recipes, a little bit more like specifics about, yes, it's funny, but ultimately like there are some interesting recipes, but like, are they tasty?

Are they good? Like I want a little more Deep dive into the actual value of the recipes rather than saying like the value, the recipes are good. You know what I mean?

[00:24:13] Chelsey Donn: like I want to know more about, oh yeah, you continue, sorry, this is yours,

[00:24:17] Trey Gerrald: but, but yes, like, I mean, I ultimately, it is almost Review Queen y except it's just missing a little more detail, but I appreciate that there was at least any detail because oftentimes that is lacking from a joke review. So that's why I really good job, Seth A. R. You're a cock star. Chelsey, why did you say four and a half?

[00:24:40] Chelsey Donn: Oh my god, Seth is a cock star. I said four and a half because really no harm, no foul, right? Four and a half crowns because this is not hurting the cause of this product at all, even though it's a joke review. Sometimes these joke reviews kind of come at the expense of the product. In this case, it was very aligned with the product.

I think somebody that's looking at the reviews of this, Product would expect to see this kind of Review and probably be pleased with it and maybe be pushed over the edge because of that parenthetical Right, like if I'm gonna just buy a gag gift There's a part of me that wants to know wouldn't it be great if this was also useful so by you telling me That the recipes are good.

It really pushes me to press that buy button. And for that reason, I did four and a half. I thought it was funny, but I wasn't like falling out of my seat laughing, you know, like I have been for some of my other review queens. And that was really the only reason I reserved that half crown. But I do think it's funny and it's a good review.

And I think Seth did a good job and I do think that you and I should have a cooking, cooking show, live cooking show, um, where we try to cook a recipe from this book, Trey. So for that reason, four and a half crowns.

[00:26:00] Trey Gerrald: Got it. I, I'm wondering if there's like a companion cookbook, like for clams.

[00:26:05] Chelsey Donn: Well, I have a shellfish allergy, you know, in more ways than one, so I couldn't do the clams.

[00:26:13] Trey Gerrald: If you were to, if maybe this is an after show conversation, but I'm just trying to

[00:26:17] Chelsey Donn: I would call it?

[00:26:17] Trey Gerrald: I guess it would be clam.

[00:26:19] Chelsey Donn: sounds

[00:26:20] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. Or what?

[00:26:21] Chelsey Donn: I don't know, a ham sandwich?

[00:26:23] Trey Gerrald: Clam

[00:26:23] Chelsey Donn: I don't know,

[00:26:26] Trey Gerrald: Why ham sandwich? Is that a thing? never heard this.

[00:26:31] Chelsey Donn: Trey.

[00:26:32] Trey Gerrald: I don't

[00:26:32] Chelsey Donn: God, I'm dying. All right, my queen, we've done it. We've reached the most regal portion of our show. Trey, who are you inducting for?

[00:26:43] VOICEOVER: Score, My Royal Highness.

[00:26:46] Trey Gerrald: Today, I am really excited to be inducting a classification, a group of human beings and the group today that I want to nominate as truly five star individuals are all those people that aren't afraid in a moment. of noticing confrontation, standing up for what's right. I'm speaking about those people that can see that something is unbalanced or that something is wrong and they can insert themselves by being like a voice of truth by being like actually you're wrong or actually Wait a second, because I think I am not always that person and I want to be that person.

I am very much afraid of confrontation. But recently I was at work and I had a co worker come at me sideways and another co worker totally stood up for me and I was like, thank you. And so that's really what has led me into this. Induction because it really meant a lot. I like started spiraling and then I was like, Hey, thank you for saying what you said.

Cause like, I really appreciated you having my back. So that started also making me think like, would I have done that in that situation? And I might not have. So I took that as a moment of like, okay, let me be more like that person. And so I figured today I would induct all of those people that aren't afraid to stand up and say, you know, what is right?

[00:28:12] Chelsey Donn: yes,

[00:28:13] Trey Gerrald: in the world. So for that reason, I'm going to induct all of those people that will speak up. They're the truth tellers. They're the ones that are not afraid of a consequence of speaking truth to power. So if that's you, then I'm inducting you. And so therefore you are my Royal Highness.

[00:28:33] Chelsey Donn: it's true, you could say some people might think it's cocky to stand up say something when you haven't been addressed, but sometimes it's necessary,

[00:28:45] Trey Gerrald: Stand up! Don't clam up. Be a cock y person.

[00:28:48] Chelsey Donn: that's right.

[00:28:49] Trey Gerrald: Well, we did a queen. That is another round on the RU& RQ Ferris Wheel of Cock Gobbling.

[00:28:57] Chelsey Donn: That's right. Thank you for joining us today. If you like what you heard, please tell a friend.

[00:29:03] Trey Gerrald: If you did not like what you heard, we don't care. Go tell an enemy. On this week's After Show, Chelsey and I are going to be rating and reviewing a three star Home Depot review for... A rake.

[00:29:20] Chelsey Donn: Oh, okay.

[00:29:24] Trey Gerrald: I just thought

[00:29:26] Chelsey Donn: A hoe? Is it a hoe?

[00:29:28] Trey Gerrald: not a hoe, a rake.

[00:29:30] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Okay.

[00:29:31] Trey Gerrald: You know, it's the season where like, you have to rake up leaves, so I thought, a rake?

[00:29:37] Chelsey Donn: I get it. Let's get rake in there. And somehow this gets said

[00:29:44] Trey Gerrald: Did you ever do the Macarena growing up?

[00:29:46] Chelsey Donn: all the time. Oh, I mean,

[00:29:50] Trey Gerrald: Macarena Queen?

[00:29:51] Chelsey Donn: yes, for sure.

[00:29:54] Trey Gerrald: And to all of our royal listeners,

[00:29:57] Chelsey Donn: Ignore the haters, you're a queen,

[00:30:00] Trey Gerrald: Gender nonspecific Queen, but

[00:30:05] Chelsey Donn: Cocked, clam, and anything else, Queen.

[00:30:09] Trey Gerrald: Ditto.

[00:30:11] Chelsey Donn: Bye!

[00:30:14] Trey Gerrald: The cock gobbling just really, um, got me all flustered.

[00:30:19] Chelsey Donn: Oh, God,

[00:30:21] VOICEOVER: Sign up directly on Apple Podcast to hear our weekly members only after show. Unlock additional benefits when you become a Patreon member@reviewthatreview.com slash patreon. Follow us on all the socials at the review queens and join our mailing list@reviewthatreview.com. Our kvetch line is open 24 7 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.

You never visit, you never write. Give us a koala. No.

[00:30:46] Trey Gerrald: Do you think that Adrian's coworkers were like, Are you serious with this book?

[00:30:50] Chelsey Donn: I don't know. I think some of them might have been gobbling for a free copy of that book, you know? I was just wondering, like, what is Julia Child? Like, I know she's passed, but what would she think of this book? Would she be like, Cock a von, you know, or would she,

[00:31:07] Trey Gerrald: Cock a doodle doo.

[00:31:10] Chelsey Donn: exactly. I don't know. I think that Julia Child was kind of a little bit, like, frisky.

If I,

[00:31:17] Trey Gerrald: Are you calling Julia Child a cock gobbler?

[00:31:20] Chelsey Donn: I think Julia Child would call herself a gobbler, personally.

[00:31:25] Trey Gerrald: Oh my! She kinda sounds like a rooster if you think about it.

[00:31:29] Chelsey Donn: kind of sounds like she's gobbling a cock. Ha ha!

[00:31:33] Trey Gerrald: Wow. I don't think she's ever been considered that way before, but I'll take it.

[00:31:45] Chelsey Donn: Oh,

[00:31:45] Trey Gerrald: Wow, Julia Child really sounds like she's gobbling a cock. Hmm. We're doing real work over here.

[00:31:53] Chelsey Donn: I'm Julia Child, and keep your crowns up, Queens.

[00:31:59] Trey Gerrald: Bye!

[00:32:00] Chelsey Donn: Bye! Oh my god.



Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.


 

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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 159: "Barking - 1 Star Review"

Review That Review with Chelsey & Trey Episode 159: "Barking - 1 Star Review" Transcription *Please pardon any and all spelling errors! [00:00:00] CHELSEY DONN: Goldie? Goldie! No barking, quiet, or y

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