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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 131: "Camping Chair - 3 Star Review"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 131: "Camping Chair - 3 Star Review"


*Please pardon any and all spelling errors!

[00:00:00] THEME SONG: Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] CHELSEY DONN: Hello!

[00:00:32] TREY GERRALD: hello, and welcome to Review That Review, the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing that is a very excited Chelsey

[00:00:46] CHELSEY DONN: And that is a moderately excited Trey Gerald!

[00:00:50] TREY GERRALD: and together, we even ourselves out and form

[00:00:54] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens,

[00:00:58] CHELSEY DONN: That's right. And Trey, maybe the reason why you're just moderately excited is because you're getting ready to lodge a complaint. And I want to give you that opportunity. So Trey, would you like to?

[00:01:11] VOICEOVER: Ledge a Complaint,

[00:01:12] TREY GERRALD: I would, thank you so much for asking. I'm really bogged down in the complaint over here, as I was preparing, and I'm curious, Chelsey, if it's, uh, something that you've come across, listeners, I'm curious if it's something you've come across as well. Today, I want to add to the ledger of

[00:01:29] CHELSEY DONN: okay,

[00:01:30] TREY GERRALD: You're killing it.

You are

[00:01:33] CHELSEY DONN: you're killing it,

[00:01:35] TREY GERRALD: the game, FiercelyDivaHoney, BootsDown, Mariah Carey, playing a game that is an app that you have downloaded on your phone and then all of a sudden an ad pops up that you have to let play through because the X won't appear in the top right corner Until a certain number of seconds, sometimes 30, sometimes 60, and you are too cheap to pay the 2.

99 to buy the app, so you have to let these stupid ads, and it's always random celebrities that are looking straight in the camera saying, Hey guys, it's me, Random Celebrity, I have to tell you about the most fun game I've ever played.

[00:02:16] CHELSEY DONN: oh my god, like Clawey, remember when we talked about that?

[00:02:19] TREY GERRALD: It reminds me of Claw E. Do you have any app games that

[00:02:24] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my God. I'm not, you know, outside of Duolingo, which I did like, decide to get the family plan because so many people in my family use it. So it was just like

[00:02:33] TREY GERRALD: Oh, cool.

[00:02:35] CHELSEY DONN: That was like, I couldn't even tolerate that. Like the Duolingo ads, I just, or the limitations.

Uh uh. I think I find it more when I'm watching Peacock.

[00:02:47] TREY GERRALD: Mm.

[00:02:48] CHELSEY DONN: or like Paramount Plus or some of these like these things that I pay for because I watch like one show so I'm not gonna pay for the premium version because that just seems like a complete waste of money but I still want to be able to see this show so I just have to like own the fact that I'm gonna watch these ads because it's completely unreasonable for me to pay exorbitant fees for each one of these individual things like we have to at a certain point you have to just Stop yourself.

And it's so annoying.

[00:03:19] TREY GERRALD: So are you getting to that you don't really play games on your phone?

[00:03:22] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, I don't play games on my phone outside of Duolingo. Do you? You play a lot of games on your phone?

[00:03:28] TREY GERRALD: That's really interesting, because I have recently discovered that part of my winding down process, my decompression at night, obviously I like to take a bath, but I really love hearing podcasts, I love having discussions that I'm not engaged in, it helps me wind down for some reason, but I'm a huge multitasker, and I love to play either Spider Solitaire, Or, Sudoku, or, I really love these like, unblock games, it's kind of like Tetris except it's different, it's kind of like Candy

[00:04:04] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, I know what you mean. I had, I don't, oh, the unblock, oh, like Snood. I loved Snood when I was a kid.

[00:04:11] TREY GERRALD: I don't know what snoot is, but, but it's all of these games, oh, okay, well, I love playing all of these games, and I always get these ads, and it's usually when I'll complete a round, and I have to like sit there for 30 seconds, waiting on the ad to complete, before the X will appear. It's really frustrating and it's just this mundane thing that I literally deal with so many times in an evening that I don't even like take in that it's there and that it's happening and that it's frustrating me and so this is when I had that profound epiphany just this open vortex of all of these complaints hit me one day and I texted you about it this was one of them because I was like oh my god this is a complaint I deal with every day that's so random that I almost don't even acknowledge that it's there but Boy, I hate it because it's so annoying.

It just stops the flow, you know,

[00:05:03] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, totally. I'm sorry. I can't validate this for you more on like a gamer to gamer level. I do see you because I experienced this in my own lane. So I, I totally validate that experience and I experienced it in my own way. But no, I'm not a huge gamer and I love that I, I'm still after over two years. I'm doing this podcast with you, I'm still learning new tidbits about

[00:05:28] TREY GERRALD: right? That makes more sense to me because I did, you must be coming up soon, but I did reach my 360 days of uninterrupted Duolingo use.

[00:05:38] CHELSEY DONN: I'm waiting for that day, I'm hoping that I can be freed of it, I just, I'm addicted,

[00:05:43] TREY GERRALD: I know because you have to get

[00:05:45] CHELSEY DONN: I have to get to the 360, like if I don't, like, I'm like, what am I even doing,

[00:05:49] TREY GERRALD: I know. Well,

[00:05:51] CHELSEY DONN: I hear you, I validate you, I just like, love that this show is all about validation, I think maybe we should give someone else.

The floor. What do you think?

[00:06:00] TREY GERRALD: I am so ready. Let's do it.

[00:06:01] CHELSEY DONN: Yes.

[00:06:04] VOICEOVER: Review That Review,

[00:06:08] CHELSEY DONN: As you know, we are your trusty review queens. We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

[00:06:15] TREY GERRALD: We read you that review and break it down, rating the impact of the review on a scale, from zero to five crowns. It's a very regal process that we call,

[00:06:23] VOICEOVER: Assess That Kvetch,

[00:06:25] CHELSEY DONN: That's right.

[00:06:26] TREY GERRALD: Chelsey Bo Peep, what have you got for us this week?

[00:06:29] CHELSEY DONN: So I've been perusing Amazon, as you know, always a peruser of Amazon. All right. I wanted to get some sort of chair That was like a nice outdoor camping type chair that I could take to the beach, or I could take to an outdoor movie, or, you know, like, I could just have on hand for these activities that I do, and I came across this Amazon chair, which I will tell you about.

Today, Queens, we are going to be rating and reviewing a three star Amazon review written by Burt B. Jr. for... Cascade Mountain Tech, outdoor, high back, lightweight, camp chair with headrest and carry case, black.

[00:07:23] TREY GERRALD: Okay. Wait. So in plain terms, this is what

[00:07:27] CHELSEY DONN: in play, exactly, this is what happens with Amazon, you know, you guys, you're like, what, in all those words, am I looking for my, yeah, this is a chair, this is like a camp chair, it's more than a, more than a beach chair, right, like I'm not, I need something with a little bit more, Um, so I imagine this is something normal people would take camping, maybe to sit around a campfire, maybe to go to Joshua Tree, something like that.

I don't do those things, but I do go to the beach and I do go to outdoor movies or even a friend's house, whatever. I might want to chat, right? So this is, uh, the review. Bye. Burt B. Jr., are we ready? Burt, Burt B. Jr., okay, three stars, subject, Cascade Mountain Tech Camp Chairs, colon, because who said sitting couldn't be an extreme sport?

[00:08:19] TREY GERRALD: Oh. Oh.

[00:08:21] CHELSEY DONN: Hello, thrill seekers! If you're into the adrenaline rush of extreme sports and are bored by the mundanity of sitting, boy, have I got a product for you! I recently bought two Cascade Mountain Tech Camp Chairs and they have transformed my life in ways I never could have imagined, mostly because...

I never thought I'd associate mortal peril with sitting down,

[00:08:52] TREY GERRALD: to? Hmm.

[00:08:54] CHELSEY DONN: Ever tried bungee jumping, skydiving? They have nothing on the experience of perching on these chairs, On anything other than a perfectly level concrete floor, Don't let their unsuspecting demeanor fool you, These babies are the ejection seats of the camping world.

Set one up on a hillside, and it's like a game of musical chairs, Where the chair might catapult you into the stratosphere at any moment! You thought you were going camping, but surprise! You're actually the star of an impromptu Cirque du Soleil performance, Gracefully flying through the air!

[00:09:38] TREY GERRALD: my God.

[00:09:39] CHELSEY DONN: Assembly time.

Well, I hope you blocked out your schedule while others are roasting marshmallows, you'll still be wrestling with your chair. It's like trying to defuse a bomb, but less straightforward. Whoever said patience is a virtue surely didn't have the Cascade Mountain Tech Camp Chairs in mind.

[00:09:59] TREY GERRALD: Everyone

[00:10:00] CHELSEY DONN: time, you'll realize that What you initially consider to be a simple chair is in fact an intensive course in applied mechanics.

[00:10:10] TREY GERRALD: Love

[00:10:11] CHELSEY DONN: For every moment you'll spend sitting on it, you'll, you'll spend three. Figuring out which bit goes where,

[00:10:18] TREY GERRALD: Or was

[00:10:19] CHELSEY DONN: but hey, who doesn't enjoy a 3D puzzle under the stars, right? But let's give credit where credit's due, Colin. Once you finally do manage to put it together and find a ground flat enough to resemble a bowling alley,

[00:10:35] TREY GERRALD: World Report

[00:10:43] CHELSEY DONN: so sturdy in fact, that they make you question why they seem to have a vendetta against gravity. In any other circumstance, So would I recommend The Cascade Mountain Tech Camp Chairs? Absolutely! If you're an adrenaline junkie who's into extreme sinning and has a ton of time on their hands, or if you just need a new challenge in your life like solving a Rubik's Cube blindfolded, overall I give these chairs three stars, colon.

One One for comfort, one for sturdiness, and one for making my camping trip far more thrilling than I'd ever anticipated. Do remember to wear your helmet, though. Safety first!

[00:11:37] TREY GERRALD: Oh, Bert,

[00:11:38] CHELSEY DONN: Have I shocked you?

[00:11:40] TREY GERRALD: Okay, wait, I think I'm imagining, like, the blueprint of this chair, I feel like it probably, like, swings a little bit, like, the axis's come in to the center, maybe, like,

[00:11:53] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. I mean, it's like a, um, telescoping chair. You know what I mean? It's like, it comes out into like four legs at the bottom that I imagine you have to like tighten, um, in some way. That's, that's what I. Think of when I see it.

[00:12:09] TREY GERRALD: Okay, yeah.

[00:12:10] CHELSEY DONN: You described to our listeners what it is you're seeing.

[00:12:13] TREY GERRALD: Okay, it's surprisingly more low tech than I anticipated based on Burt B. Jr. 's review. I feel like there's like kids toys that are like sticks that are all connected that like you can smoosh them around, like it looks like it all truly folds up into like a bunch of logs and then you're able to like pop them out and then like hook the fabric on to make it like a lounger type.

Chair, so it does look like the bases could be a little unsecure like I would also think like oh god Am I gonna tip over the the ejection? How did ejection seats? I was actually thinking it was maybe like more Yeah, this, this surprisingly, Burt's description made me think this was like a high tech nightmare, But the product itself actually said, like, that's adding to the value of the review to me, because this looks a little more simple than I thought it would be.

[00:13:11] CHELSEY DONN: Right. Burpee Junior's obviously using this like sarcasm tactic for what is actually a very simple product. Like, looks to me almost like a product you would get for free at like a dental convention.

[00:13:25] TREY GERRALD: That's exa it looks like you would slap your merch logo

[00:13:29] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. It's not anything special, but it's kind of expensive.

[00:13:31] TREY GERRALD: yeah, this is 67, I would not want to pay that.

[00:13:35] CHELSEY DONN: No.

[00:13:35] TREY GERRALD: No, but I do see, to Burt B. Jr. 's point, that you could not have this on a hill. And I don't know that I would have thought that through if I hadn't read Burt B. Jr. 's review here,

[00:13:50] CHELSEY DONN: which is also interesting because you'll see one of the pictures that they show you on the review page is like this older couple sitting on the beach, which is more how I thought I would use it. And for them, it looks perfectly fine, but it's claiming to be, let's just point out, Cascade Mountain Tech, outdoor, high back, lightweight, camp chair, camp chair, with headrest and carry, I mean, this is like, they're telling you that you're supposed to be bringing this camping, presumably you're gonna be on a hillside,

[00:14:22] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, if you're calling this camping attire, it does look like it's a little too collapsible for camping to me. Like, I feel like most camp gear is, like, really sturdy seeming. I mean, I don't know much

[00:14:35] CHELSEY DONN: It is, but I also feel like sometimes you'll see a tent and it'll like just come in like a little carrying case and then it's like a thousand dollar tent or I don't know how

[00:14:44] TREY GERRALD: That's true.

[00:14:45] CHELSEY DONN: but like it's expensive and it does like the whole part of the allure especially if you're like hiking and there's is that it's lightweight yet still Sturdy, I would think,

[00:14:56] TREY GERRALD: Right, yes, I see the value of it being lightweight, this does look like it, I guess I'm confused about being ejected,

[00:15:05] CHELSEY DONN: Well, I would imagine the ejection would be directly proportionate to gravity and wherever it is, you've placed the chair. So if I'm right, so I'm placing the chair uphill,

[00:15:19] TREY GERRALD: you're not going to be, you'll still be standing, you'll still

[00:15:22] CHELSEY DONN: Right, like, or, yeah, like, or even if they sit, yeah, I sit back and I'm sort of uphill, like, the back is, of the legs are further back than the front of the legs, and yet I sit on it because I think, oh, it's going to hold my weight or whatever it is, then, yeah, you'd be ejected if that back weight couldn't hold it.

Couldn't support you and the chair became unwieldy, You would be catapulted, You might look something like that girl that fell down the hillside with the leggings that survived,

[00:15:52] TREY GERRALD: Oh, yeah, that's why she was climbing, yeah.

[00:15:56] CHELSEY DONN: what she was, She, yeah, exactly, She had been catapulted from this chair and was shocked that the leggings survived, Even though her ego did not,

[00:16:05] TREY GERRALD: You know, to credit Burt B. Jr. 's writing skill, I really appreciated the narrative where they set up very early on the need for a level floor, and then they talk about all the issues, and then they conclude with the analogy of like, unless you're on a bowling alley floor surface,

[00:16:24] CHELSEY DONN: I

[00:16:25] TREY GERRALD: I've never thought about how level, obviously, right, it has to be, right, of course,

[00:16:31] CHELSEY DONN: right. Yeah,

[00:16:32] TREY GERRALD: I thought that was so funny, bowling alley

[00:16:34] CHELSEY DONN: I know, I really, it did enjoy, um, the metaphors here and the humor, I gotta say, I mean, listen, I think that part of the problem, uh, two and a half years into doing this show is that Trey and I are very infrequently impressed by humor of reviews, but I do think that this is not like your Run of the mill attempt at comedy.

I do think there's a style. I think they're interesting metaphors. I know I'm jumping ahead to humor, but I do feel like we have to address it right away because that is clearly the Intended, the intention behind the review.

[00:17:12] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, and, and it does feel like they probably definitely did a spell check, right? Like, were there

[00:17:18] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, yeah. I mean there were colons, there were lists, There were, there was no, as far as I can recall, there were no errors at all. So this was definitely something that this person Spent time on

[00:17:32] TREY GERRALD: I also wrote down the very first word, hello! I think it's so funny to start a review with hello, and

[00:17:41] CHELSEY DONN: I love that.

[00:17:42] TREY GERRALD: It feels academic in approach because this whole, it's like the thesis statement up top is are you bored by the mundanity of sitting?

[00:17:52] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my God. So many words like mundanity. And what do we think Burt B. Jr. does for a living?

[00:17:58] TREY GERRALD: I think they're a researcher for Merriam Webster.

[00:18:01] CHELSEY DONN: You always want to give Merriam Webster credit for these employees.

[00:18:06] TREY GERRALD: Do I? Wait, have I just said that before?

[00:18:08] CHELSEY DONN: I think so. I can't remember what the podcast were, but you were, you said like, does such and such work for Merriam Webster? Because like they were giving a lot of synonyms, I think. Yeah. I mean, I think that maybe Burt B. Jr. is like a second generation scientist. Or,

[00:18:24] TREY GERRALD: we go.

[00:18:25] CHELSEY DONN: or like a second, some sort of like second, cause he's a junior and he really like, I think would want to fulfill coming from a third, Trey,

[00:18:34] TREY GERRALD: do you think that Burt B. Jr. is, his father is Burt B's?

[00:18:39] CHELSEY DONN: for sure. Well, actually, I didn't want to give the whole name to give it away, but it's Burt B and then there's a last name and then a junior.

[00:18:48] TREY GERRALD: okay. So B is the middle initial, I

[00:18:50] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, he uses his middle initial. Yeah, but anyway, I, yes, obviously there's a senior here and I, I just get the like feeling of like legacy or maybe even, maybe I'm just putting this on it because I see the junior, like I'm going to show this to my dad and he's going to get a real kick out of it,

[00:19:09] TREY GERRALD: Some of it is a little dad jokey.

[00:19:11] CHELSEY DONN: right?

[00:19:11] TREY GERRALD: The Cirque du Soleil ness of it all, I thought was really funny. Like a very visual. I can see that.

[00:19:16] CHELSEY DONN: yeah, totally agree,

[00:19:19] TREY GERRALD: they're being shady and, and the strong arm of humor they're doing? I mean, it's a three star.

[00:19:25] CHELSEY DONN: was gonna say, that's, that's where like, Burt sort of wins me over a little bit, because, yes, is there shade here? No, but maybe yes, because it's funny and it's sort of harmless in its three star way. It's like, like there's so many people that could write this review, the same review, as a one star review, just like, I tried to bring this on the thing, it wouldn't level anywhere, it was a total nightmare, I, I was thrown out of it, this is a piece of junk.

And like. That wouldn't be that interesting to read. So I think this is getting a point across in terms of the quality of the product and managing expectations without damaging too much. Though I will say, like, I didn't, I obviously didn't order the chair after I read this.

[00:20:10] TREY GERRALD: Right, and Burt B. bought two of them

[00:20:12] CHELSEY DONN: That's right. Probably for him and his dad,

[00:20:15] TREY GERRALD: for Senior. Yeah.

[00:20:16] CHELSEY DONN: for

[00:20:17] TREY GERRALD: I mean, I guess my major, like, common fluke typical here is like, how often is this camping chair going to be required to be on an un level floor? And I would

[00:20:29] CHELSEY DONN: I think a lot.

[00:20:30] TREY GERRALD: percent of the time. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:20:32] CHELSEY DONN: a lot. Right? I mean, I think if you're calling this a camping chair, isn't that the whole thing? Like you're not going to just always come across a level ground. You're probably hiking to wherever it is you're camping. It's going to be in, you know, not always, but enough that you would cater to that.

So I think it could be common.

[00:20:52] TREY GERRALD: I think so too. I mean, there's an impact for me. I think I could crown Bert. How are you feeling?

[00:20:58] CHELSEY DONN: I think I could crown Bert. I mean, this is definitely an impactful review, I think. For me, at least, it affected me.

[00:21:06] TREY GERRALD: yeah, you didn't order.

[00:21:07] CHELSEY DONN: I didn't order it.

[00:21:08] TREY GERRALD: Right, alright, let's do it. So, Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards, and in an effort to be fair and not influenced by one another, we will simultaneously reveal our rating.

[00:21:21] CHELSEY DONN: right.

[00:21:22] VOICEOVER: The Queens are tabulating. Total Score,

[00:21:32] CHELSEY DONN: four and a half crowns, four and a half crowns, Trey, you go first. Why, four and a half crowns for Burt B. Jr.

[00:21:38] TREY GERRALD: You know, I just wanted to give the credit because it's not a one star and they very clearly took the review very seriously because they didn't just sit down and like scream and insult and go crazy. They were like putting a positive spin on everything in a humorous way, which sometimes doesn't always land for me, but I do appreciate the bulk of the comedy here is about like This chair is gonna make you a clown.

So, like, you better make sure you're opening it in an appropriate terrain, which... If it's being marketed as camping, maybe it misses the mark, but they don't think it's bad enough. Like the chair itself, they say for three reasons, it's solid. One is comfort. So I'm like, okay, so once you get it settled, maybe it's comfortable.

And maybe that is part of camping is you have to like flatten the.

[00:22:30] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, maybe there's a learning

[00:22:31] TREY GERRALD: B, I want to know more about Burt B, I'm very curious who Burt B Sr. is, and I don't think I would buy it, I think I would keep looking, but I also wouldn't feel terrible if I did buy it, so I understand the three star scenario here, so that's why I said four and a half, because it's really funny, and it is, I just think a lot of it is queenly, overall, Chelsey, why did you say four and a half?

[00:22:54] CHELSEY DONN: Similar reasoning, obviously I didn't buy the product, so this was a fun way to get the message across and it like just wasn't that rant, you know, boring thing that usually happens and anything that sort of goes out of its way to be funny and to be entertaining. I appreciate it personally, even if ultimately it makes me not want to buy the product, I still appreciate Burt B.

Jr., I'm glad that I know, like you said, that I'm going to look like a clown, rolling down the hill, I better have those leggings ready, because they're going to rip otherwise, now I know, you know, and that's because of Burt B. Jr., so for that reason, nearly a Review Queen, honestly, um, four and a half crowns for Burt B.


[00:23:41] TREY GERRALD: Very nice, we can't have you, Rollin

[00:23:44] CHELSEY DONN: ruling!

[00:23:45] TREY GERRALD: Rollin to the river,

[00:23:48] CHELSEY DONN: Right? Maybe literally, honestly. It could be. You never know.

[00:23:53] TREY GERRALD: That was fun, I hope Art B has a comedy show that they're writing for now.

[00:23:58] CHELSEY DONN: You know, they probably do. You're right. Doubling as a stand up somewhere. Burp B, let us know. Give us tickets to your show. Maybe we'll come. All right, we've done it. We've reached the most regal portion of our show somehow. I don't know, I don't even know how it happened, but it did. Who are you, Trey, going to induct

[00:24:18] VOICEOVER: My Royal Highness.

[00:24:19] TREY GERRALD: Alright, I'm taking it back to the original roots that I tackled Royal Highnesses back in the very inception of the show. Today, Chelsey, I really want to give it up for whipped cream.

[00:24:33] CHELSEY DONN: Whipped cream. Hmm.

[00:24:34] TREY GERRALD: god, how often do we stop to sing the praises of whipped cream? Did you know,

[00:24:39] CHELSEY DONN: often enough.

[00:24:40] TREY GERRALD: Well, here we go. Did you know that the origins of whipped cream go all the way back to a 1545 English recipe?

People have been whipping cream for the delightful enjoyment of it being a topping since the 1500s. Can you believe that? That is crazy town.

[00:25:03] CHELSEY DONN: Please.

[00:25:05] TREY GERRALD: go to the Wikipedia for whipped cream, I just want to read this sentence. Various desserts consisting of whipped cream in pyramidical shapes include coffee, liqueurs,

[00:25:18] CHELSEY DONN: True. And so on. We could, we could go on and on and on, but yes.

[00:25:30] TREY GERRALD: how amazing whipped cream is. Whipped cream goes good on everything, and obviously we're in this time of the year where we're celebrating all of these holidays, and nothing is better than fucking whipped cream. Whipped cream on my pumpkin pie? Yes. Whipped cream on my pecan pie?

Please, God. Whipped cream on my ice cream sundae? I'm there. I fucking love whipped cream. Sometimes my favorite part of dessert is the fucking whipped cream.

[00:25:55] CHELSEY DONN: you can really put it anywhere

[00:25:56] TREY GERRALD: you like some pie without whipped cream? Maybe.

[00:25:59] CHELSEY DONN: it on anything. You can put it on

[00:26:01] TREY GERRALD: can put it on bodies? Yeah, like Varsity Blues. What was that guy? He's very famous

[00:26:06] CHELSEY DONN: I would have

[00:26:06] TREY GERRALD: Chris Evans?

[00:26:07] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, Chris Evans, I would have liked the whip came off Chris Evans.

[00:26:11] TREY GERRALD: Oh, that's like a scary movie, I think. Or not another teen movie.

[00:26:14] CHELSEY DONN: Maybe.

[00:26:15] TREY GERRALD: Evans and they're mocking 'cause the girl in varsity blues puts the whipped whatever. I loved whipped cream. I also am not a snob. I don't have to, I don't have to make it ever. I love whipped topping out of the can. I love that.

[00:26:29] CHELSEY DONN: hmm, mm

[00:26:30] TREY GERRALD: Anyway, so I just wanted this opportunity now that we're in the holiday season, just, I want everyone to stop, say thank you, to whipped cream, and if you have a dairy issue, there are non dairy whipped creams that exist. Isn't that even crazier? Like, hello, I love whipped cream, it's one of my favorite things in the world, it's also something that I just don't ever really think about, so, we are now, so for that reason, whipped cream, you are my royal highness,

[00:26:57] CHELSEY DONN: wow, Trey, I love that, everything is improved by whipped cream, in my humble opinion.

[00:27:03] TREY GERRALD: I think so,

[00:27:04] CHELSEY DONN: Right? I mean, when it's an option, I really, like, at Starbucks, ugh, I always want it. I don't always get it, honestly, quite honestly, if I'm, like, trying to be good. I don't always get it, but I always want it.

[00:27:18] TREY GERRALD: you know, I love pumpkin pie, and pumpkin pie really is not complete without whipped cream.

[00:27:22] CHELSEY DONN: Agree. I feel like, like, whipped cream is, like, at least 50 percent of pumpkin pie.

[00:27:29] TREY GERRALD: Oh, I will hold that can upside down like this. And then a little dollop on the top so it's like a pyramid.

[00:27:39] CHELSEY DONN: For sure, or right into the mouth, why not?

[00:27:41] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, do you remember Cheez Whiz?

[00:27:43] CHELSEY DONN: Yes.

[00:27:44] TREY GERRALD: Isn't that so weird? What the fuck was that? What were we

[00:27:48] CHELSEY DONN: in a can. It was definitely gross, but we

[00:27:50] TREY GERRALD: tell me that was

[00:27:51] CHELSEY DONN: sorry, sorry. It was,

[00:27:53] TREY GERRALD: Cause it wasn't even spelled cheese. It was like C H E Z, cheese or something.

[00:27:59] CHELSEY DONN: you're right. You're right. Yeah, it was chemistry in a can. I loved it though. Like it was one of those things It's gross, but like we used to eat it at like sleepaway camp or whatever Like we would never eat it at home.

Like I don't even I doubt my mom would ever send me with that It was always like some other kid's parent who didn't care who sent

[00:28:17] TREY GERRALD: It would have been my kid's parents. It would

[00:28:19] CHELSEY DONN: said that they came up with, with Ritz crackers and cans of Cheez Whiz cause they could survive a nuclear apocalypse and we would, it was like the best thing ever.

I mean, remember those, um, those cheese and crackers that were in the plastic with the, with the red

[00:28:38] TREY GERRALD: the little breadsticks

[00:28:39] CHELSEY DONN: bread

[00:28:39] TREY GERRALD: and the red

[00:28:40] CHELSEY DONN: stick that you melt, that you spread it with?

[00:28:43] TREY GERRALD: Wait, did you ever have the Dunkaroos that were like the dessert version of

[00:28:46] CHELSEY DONN: I had Dunkaroos. Are you kidding?

[00:28:48] TREY GERRALD: god, where,

[00:28:49] CHELSEY DONN: never from my household, really, but only

[00:28:52] TREY GERRALD: where did all this go? I don't think any of that exists anymore. Lunchables killed it all.

[00:28:57] CHELSEY DONN: there's actually a company and maybe I'll induct them as a Royal Highness in the future that is like doing right by our nostalgia in like a non GMO way, which is really cool.

If I had kids, I would definitely buy the product. So anyway, we'll talk about that later.

[00:29:10] TREY GERRALD: All right, tease. We have done it, Queen. That is another round on the R U A R Q, Ferris Wheel of, I'm flying out of my chair, Rolling, rolling, rolling into the mountainside.

[00:29:25] CHELSEY DONN: Rolling literally into the river. Thank you for joining us today. If you like what you heard, please tell a friend.

[00:29:31] TREY GERRALD: If you did not like what you heard, please tell an enemy. All right, on this week's after show, Chelsey and I are going to be rating and reviewing. Chelsey, this is a review that I found in March of 2022.

[00:29:46] CHELSEY DONN: Wow.

[00:29:47] TREY GERRALD: is, I've been waiting for the season. So this is a two star Amazon review. 4. The Soft Snowman Christmas Snow Hand Towels, 27.

5 by 15. 7 inch thin bathroom towel, small bath cloth decor, gifts multi purpose for bathroom, kitchen, gym, yoga.

[00:30:13] CHELSEY DONN: Wow, this is

[00:30:14] VOICEOVER: It's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

[00:30:17] CHELSEY DONN: To find out what made us say, Wow, um, how would I describe this

[00:30:25] TREY GERRALD: Really?

[00:30:30] CHELSEY DONN: to me, I can't even see what it's,

[00:30:34] TREY GERRALD: Why? It's a snowman! Wow, I'm really curious why that was said. Hmm. Well, in the meantime, to all of our royal listeners, that means you, Remember,

[00:30:49] CHELSEY DONN: know, ignore the haters, you're a queen.

[00:30:52] TREY GERRALD: gender nonspecific, rolling down the river queen.

[00:30:58] CHELSEY DONN: Love you, Queens. Bye.

[00:31:00] TREY GERRALD: Bye!

[00:31:03] VOICEOVER: Sign up directly on Apple Podcast to hear our weekly members only after show. Unlock additional benefits when you become a Patreon slash patreon. Follow us on all the socials at the review queens and join our mailing Our kvetch line is open 24 7 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.

You never visit, you never write. Give us a call now. I'm

[00:31:27] TREY GERRALD: Do you like whipped cream in real life or are

[00:31:29] CHELSEY DONN: god, I'm obsessed with whipped cream. I've literally whipped creamed to the face right from the fridge to the point of lightheadedness.

[00:31:39] TREY GERRALD: Oh wait, that just made me think, okay, I have a question, we're gonna talk about this on the after show, we'll see you guys on Friday, happy December, bye.

[00:31:44] CHELSEY DONN: bye.

[00:31:54] VOICEOVER: Rollin on the River, Rollin here, Rollin here, Rollin on the River.

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.



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