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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 142: "Next Level Burger - 2 Star Review"

Review That Review with Chelsey & Trey
Episode 142: "Next Level Burger - 2 Star Review"


*Please pardon any and all spelling errors!

[00:00:00] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, I want you to call in 1 850 REVIEW ZERO if you know the circle game.

[00:00:06] TREY GERRALD: This is not going on the show. I'll put this at the very end, maybe, but this is not how we're three and a half minutes into the episode. Chelsey can't breathe.

[00:00:30]  THEME SONG: Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:58] CHELSEY DONN: Wow. Hello.

[00:01:00] TREY GERRALD: Well, hello there, and welcome to Review That Review. We are the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing!

[00:01:08] CHELSEY DONN: Who's

[00:01:11] TREY GERRALD: That's a very circular Chelsey Donn.

[00:01:13] CHELSEY DONN: we're captive on a carousel of life here. And that's Trey Gerald.

[00:01:18] TREY GERRALD: Stay tuned to the very, very end of the episode. You'll figure out what The fuck just happened? Uh, but in the meantime, when Chelsey and Trey come together, you know it. We are your, I know,

[00:01:32] CHELSEY DONN: It's how many it's whatever episodes in, but we still, oh, you can't. We can't always stick the landing. It's fine. All right, but first, Trey, besides wanting to kill me, is there anything else that you, uh, would like to get off your chest? Would you like to? Oh

[00:01:53] TREY GERRALD: I would. And I'm sure that I've discussed before, or maybe you did, paper cuts, but today I want to talk about just cuts on your Middle fucking finger. Now, okay. I want to tell you all that I once and Chelsey told the whole Not of a judgey. What is the slicer thing? The mandolin. You told the

[00:02:17] CHELSEY DONN: my god, yeah.

[00:02:19] TREY GERRALD: right?

Well, I had I recently was I was vegetable peeling a lemon and it just kept going and I like sliced, but it sliced like the corner of my thumbnail too, like my thumbnail came off, but that was a while ago now that has gone back, like just yesterday I was digging into the dink, the dink? I was

[00:02:37] CHELSEY DONN: taking in the dink.

[00:02:39] TREY GERRALD: and the very tip of my like middle finger and my dominant right hand, just something sliced it, it's in such a weird spot that I have to wrap two band aids around it because, Notes Cause it's at the top of the finger.

So like you

[00:02:54] CHELSEY DONN: We gotta cushion

[00:02:56] TREY GERRALD: it's so weird, but, but also the fact that it's the middle finger, like even when I'm sitting here to write and take notes,

[00:03:02] CHELSEY DONN: gets in the way.

[00:03:03] TREY GERRALD: I can't like slide my finger on the paper. It's like when I was trying to bathe in the shower, it's like, I tried to take, I started with the bandaid off. But then it kept bleeding, so then I had to like put a bandaid on and then like, I'm holding the soap with the weird F.

It's just like, I understand, I'm fortunate that I have a middle finger. It would be worse if I didn't, but I'm experiencing what it's like to be, you know, held back from a cut on the middle finger. It's just, you know, it's just so unfortunate and it, it is that perspective of like, wow, I've never appreciated not having a cut on my middle finger.

So now I will. That's my

[00:03:43] CHELSEY DONN: You definitely now will appreciate it when you have it, I hear you. But I, I had a finger injury like that once and I could never use chopsticks. I can never

[00:03:53] TREY GERRALD: yeah, that would be terrible.

[00:03:54] CHELSEY DONN: a thing that I struggle with in real life. Like I just like, I'm very bad at it. And for whatever reason, I,

[00:03:59] TREY GERRALD: the ones with the band aid or the rubber

[00:04:01] CHELSEY DONN: yeah, it's really embarrassing or I asked for a fork or whatever.

But for whatever reason, one time I got a finger injury. One time I got a finger injury and all of a sudden I was amazing at using chopsticks.

[00:04:15] TREY GERRALD: Really?

[00:04:16] CHELSEY DONN: It was something about like, I wasn't able to move like a certain finger. So that finger like had to stay in place. And that must've been like the anchor finger for a chopstick usage.

[00:04:28] TREY GERRALD: Heard that

[00:04:29] CHELSEY DONN: So sometimes a finger injury could really come in handy, but that's rare.

[00:04:33] TREY GERRALD: Well, thank you for that perspective shift, because that's true. Maybe I should go try a chopstick.

[00:04:38] CHELSEY DONN: Maybe there's like a special skill you can learn now that like you can't use that finger. You can be like, wow.

[00:04:44] TREY GERRALD: While I was trying to eat Pirate's booty, and I was like, I can't stick this hand into this bag, I have to do it with my left hand. Maybe I'll become ambidextrous.

[00:04:54] CHELSEY DONN: yeah, or you gotta get those uh, those

[00:05:01] TREY GERRALD: I'm not doing that. And with that, why don't we, um, jump into an online review, Chelsey? How do you feel about that?

[00:05:20] VOICEOVER: Review That Review,

[00:05:24] CHELSEY DONN: As you know, we are your trusty Review Queens. We bring in internet reviews that we feel need to be inspected.

[00:05:32] TREY GERRALD: Why did I write that so weird?

[00:05:34] CHELSEY DONN: I don't know.

[00:05:35] TREY GERRALD: I was trying to save space in the

[00:05:38] CHELSEY DONN: Do you want me to read it the regular way? As you know, we are your trusty review queens. We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

[00:05:47] TREY GERRALD: We read you the review, break it down, and rate the impact of the review on a scale from zero to five crowns. This regal process we call, I was really trying to get, save some space here.

[00:06:02] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, my goodness.

[00:06:05] TREY GERRALD: This is a very regal process that we call.

[00:06:07] VOICEOVER: Assess That Kvetch,

[00:06:11] TREY GERRALD: in this delirious state you're in, it's your week, so what have you brought in to have us review?

[00:06:18] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. So I don't know if we've talked about this. I think we have Trey. There's a restaurant in California called Veggie Grill. Know about it?

[00:06:25] TREY GERRALD: Of course.

[00:06:26] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, I love Veggie Grill. It's like a vegan restaurant, but it's kind of like vegan comfort food. It's not a health restaurant, but it's still vegan, and you can get burgers, mac and cheese, and like these like chicken sandwiches, and they're really good.

And they go there, you know, semi regularly, and I got an email recently from like the CEO that they had been purchased by this company called Next Level Burger, who is apparently like the first plant based Company or whatever. It's like this big company and they're all about organic and non GMO and all the good things that we want in our restaurants.

But I was just like, do I know these next level burger people? Like, I don't know if I trust you. Like I trusted Veggie Grill. I had a relationship with Veggie Grill. I don't know you, you know, next level burger. So I thought I got to go to the internet and see what people are saying about next level burger.

So that's what I did. So I found a Yelp page for next level burger. With an overall of 3. 9, which is not where I would want it to be. This particular location is Concord, California,

[00:07:37] TREY GERRALD: Mm hmm. Mm

[00:07:46] CHELSEY DONN: this is what they have to say about themselves. Our burgers, fries, and shakes are 100 percent plant based, burger joint goodness, good for the environment, good for you, served up with love, in warm, friendly, and sustainably built stores that say everything about the NLB commitment to doing what's right for the people and the planet.

Come see us in Concord!

[00:08:09] TREY GERRALD: hmm hmm Oh My god

[00:08:46] CHELSEY DONN: Chicken burger was pretty good, and to be honest, I couldn't tell the difference between that and a real one. It probably had more sodium than a saltwater fish tank from the Dead Sea at low tide.

Like where the flavors are going with fake meat, But to be honest, if I'm gonna be dipping into my retirement to pay for a meal, I'm gonna just go to the real thing, get a monthly EKG and just drink more kale smoothies, And I'd still probably save money.

[00:09:19] TREY GERRALD: Okay.

[00:09:20] CHELSEY DONN: Charlie G.

[00:09:21] TREY GERRALD: Well, Charlie, Charlie has a real point of view about heart health and consuming non plant based food because they mention coronary maybe four times in this like very short review and also they mention retirement twice.

[00:09:38] CHELSEY DONN: Hmm,

[00:09:38] TREY GERRALD: How old do you think, how old do you think Charlie G is?

[00:09:41] CHELSEY DONN: I don't know Charlie G is like photo is not of them. So that's not giving us any details It sort of looks like it's like Saturn or something. I don't know.

[00:09:51] TREY GERRALD: Now, I know I come to this conversation biased because I grew up in the south and I grew up with parents that loved fast food and had no shame about that. So. I am someone who has had to, like, sort of assess what is the value or lack of value in processed food. So, anyone that's, like, interested in the conversation, I, like, have respect for, so I respect Charlie G.

being on the journey. And I also appreciated the random positive in the review about, like, it almost tasted like a normal one, like, I'll be at a lot more salty in taste, I assume. And obviously I, in my opinion, and I think this is an American conundrum, but any food that's better for you is always so much more expensive.

Like anything organic, any sort of like vegetarian options. Like it's just so much harder for fresh. Vegetable, you know, it's going to be expensive, but that is a whole topic for me because I do frequent fast food every now and then. And like, I'm an American and I've been, my appetite has been trained to eat American sizes.

And like a large size combo isn't enough French fries for me. And that's like at Burger King. So I'm imagining if I went to next level burger and I'm paying 10 for the quote unquote large, and it's like 22 French fries, I'm going to be mad about that.

[00:11:11] CHELSEY DONN: Interesting, I didn't know that about you, Trey. My college roommate, I think I've probably said this before, used to go to Wendy's and order the Great Biggie Fry, which I didn't even know that that was an option,

[00:11:21] TREY GERRALD: mm hmm. Well, it's not anymore.

[00:11:22] CHELSEY DONN: but it was for like when we were in college,

[00:11:25] TREY GERRALD: until Super Size Me ruined everything.

[00:11:28] CHELSEY DONN: yeah, until that, anyway,

[00:11:31] TREY GERRALD: I have one more question

[00:11:32] CHELSEY DONN: it was off menu though is the point, the Great Biggie

[00:11:34] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, it was a secret. Yeah. No, I know. I very much know. Oh Charlie G themself mentions In N Out Burger, and this is like a California thing. The first time I ever heard about In N Out Burger was Queen Latifah talked about how it was the best burgers that existed.

And so in my travels to Los Angeles, I have made Attempts to go and Dave and I went to one and it was very bad. And that was like a very monopolizing experience. So I don't remember if I liked it prior to that experience, but specifically the French fries were so bland and bad. So Chelsey, in your experience as like a Los Angelino.

What is the story of In N Out Fries? Like, cause they compare, they're like, if I'm going to like be doing this, like, I might as well just save money for my kids and go to In N Out.

[00:12:24] CHELSEY DONN: Right, well the story of the In N Out Fry is that the In N Out Fry starts its life as a potato.

[00:12:31] TREY GERRALD: Hmm.

[00:12:32] CHELSEY DONN: it is, is they take a potato, live, in the store, at the time of ordering, they put it in like a potato cutter, they boom, they cut the fries, and then they just fry them right up, so I think that they're like supposed to be maybe a little bit healthier, a little better for you, definitely like Fresher.

Also, there are rules around the fries, in my opinion, like if you're going to order fries from In N Out, you must get them well done. If you're not getting them well done, you're doing it wrong. And if you're going to,

[00:13:01] TREY GERRALD: is good.

[00:13:01] CHELSEY DONN: yeah, you could also do a cheese fries not bad or an animal style fry, right, is like a pretty good option if you're going to be like sitting somewhere and eating it.

But if you're just doing a grab and go, must well done on the fries.

[00:13:14] TREY GERRALD: Do you think like people know that or is that something you've discovered?

[00:13:17] CHELSEY DONN: I feel, I'm sure I discovered it from somebody that lived in LA like their whole lives or something that did it and then I like adopted it. Otherwise, they're just like limp

[00:13:26] TREY GERRALD: Got it. Cause in my opinion, I think the best fast food fries are. No, not for me.

[00:13:32] CHELSEY DONN: What?

[00:13:33] TREY GERRALD: I think it's Five Guys. I think

[00:13:35] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, I don't really, I haven't really eaten at Five Guys.

[00:13:38] TREY GERRALD: oh my god, Chelsey, it's like so bad, like it's so bad, but I'm obsessed, but equally because they dice up the potatoes there and drop them, and Five Guys has this like philosophy where they scoop the fries into the cup and then they do another scoop into the bag.

[00:13:56] CHELSEY DONN: that's

[00:13:57] TREY GERRALD: you get the bag, it's like greased out, all wet,

[00:14:00] CHELSEY DONN: because there's like extra fries in

[00:14:02] TREY GERRALD: it's always double portion of whatever you order. Okay, so, alright, so, you, if you were gonna go on a splurge and go get fast food, is In N Out equal for you, like, Charlie? Is that, like, what you would be comparing, like, the healthy option to, or no?

[00:14:16] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, I think that the only fast food that I have an emotional attachment to is McDonald's because I grew up going but like I also like Try not to because there's another part of my brain That's just like one food documentary away from being a vegetarian and so like that part of my brain every time I drive Bye.

I'm like, I can't, I can't, I can't. So I feel like there is a part of me that feels like if I were to go to fast food and allow myself to do it, it might be in and out. Not because I like it so much better, but because it is supposed to be like fresher, like better, like higher quality ingredients. Like that's their whole motto.

So maybe like mentally that would make me feel better. But I can't say that I like it. Love an In N Out burger the way that I feel like people that live here that have grown up with like that being their jam Love it, and I can respect that but

[00:15:06] TREY GERRALD: And maybe part of that is Charlie G's history

[00:15:10] CHELSEY DONN: yeah, it sounds like it

[00:15:11] TREY GERRALD: All right, so,

[00:15:12] CHELSEY DONN: Do you think the two stars were because it tasted like grilled chicken

[00:15:18] TREY GERRALD: possibly and that next sentence, which is like, I like where the fake meat tastes are going.

[00:15:26] CHELSEY DONN: But the saltwater thing,

[00:15:29] TREY GERRALD: I guess it was very salty because it's fake, right? Like, I don't know about cooking, but yeah, it's interesting that it's a two star because I'm not hearing much that's redeemable.

[00:15:38] CHELSEY DONN: right? Like what is

[00:15:40] TREY GERRALD: Other than it kind of tasted like what it's imitating.

But also this is a weird question, but like, how important is that? Because if you don't eat meat, wouldn't you actually not want it to taste like the imitation,

[00:15:53] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, I think it depends on like who you are. Like if you're somebody that may be like you see me That's why I like veggie girl That's why I think this is the right match for veggie girl because veggie girl is kind of for like I'm a meat eater I want to get like chicken nuggets, but instead I'm gonna go to veggie girl and get like vegetarian ones or

[00:16:09] TREY GERRALD: Yeah. Veggie grill is banging. That's like.

[00:16:11] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, so like that's

[00:16:13] TREY GERRALD: Veggie Grill was buying

[00:16:15] CHELSEY DONN: right, but I guess they haven't been doing well for a while.

So anyway,

[00:16:20] TREY GERRALD: like an NFL or something, like I was like, Major League Baseball, like, what?

[00:16:25] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah I

[00:16:26] TREY GERRALD: I don't know, to me, the value here is like, it's very pricey, which is an opinion I would have had before even looking.

And that maybe the portions are not as big, but I'm also thinking that might be better for our health, if this is a healthier place, maybe their proportions are going to be more non American portions, so

[00:16:46] CHELSEY DONN: So then if that's the question, like, is it fair to compare it to In N Out?

[00:16:52] TREY GERRALD: Does Next Level Burger have a drive thru, or is it like a sit in experience?

[00:16:56] CHELSEY DONN: As far as I can tell, it's a sit in experience.

[00:17:00] TREY GERRALD: See, so then I don't know, I don't know, but like, I guess if you're comparing fries and a shake and a burger You would think of like a burger place. I mean, I would just I would consider five guys first, but

[00:17:13] CHELSEY DONN: I just think any other burger place versus In N Out, sure. But, like, even Veggie Grill versus In N Out? Like, would I do that? Like, I don't think so. I feel like they're different. Like, they're similar in that, like, maybe if I have an In N Out craving, I could curb it with a Veggie Grill. You know, but like, I wouldn't expect VeggieGirl to be In N Out, I would expect VeggieGirl to be VeggieGirl, so I don't know if I trust Charlie

[00:17:37] TREY GERRALD: to Charlie G's consistent question here about the cost versus retirement, what are you retiring for if you're hating your life?

[00:17:49] CHELSEY DONN: more In N Out, I don't know.

[00:17:51] TREY GERRALD: Go ahead and have the coronary attack. Fuck your kids, don't have kids, eat what you want and die, otherwise you're abstaining from what you want to like retire and be miserable because you don't have money? I don't know. I'm

[00:18:05] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, I just think that this is just a joke that like got dragged on too far, right? Like the ultimate crux of the joke is like, I almost had a heart attack when I saw how expensive your prices were. I might as well get a heart attack from the In N Out for that matter, or maybe I'm gonna get a heart attack anyway from how much salt you guys are using.

[00:18:25] TREY GERRALD: It's just a lot of

[00:18:26] CHELSEY DONN: But if But if I use In N Out and I spend less money on food, then I'll have more money to give to my kids when I die, because I'll have spent less of it

[00:18:35] TREY GERRALD: what you want. But I'm not a nutritionist, so don't listen to me, I'm just,

[00:18:39] CHELSEY DONN: Let It Be

[00:18:40] TREY GERRALD: I, okay, I'm just thinking here, like, is this gonna stop me from trying NLB? No,

[00:18:47] CHELSEY DONN: I don't think so. I think no, but I do think that I'm, I'm still open to trying it. My only concern is the salt, but I still wouldn't like not try it. I just think that like the dead sea, like just the metaphor that we use, I'm like, well, how much, because I don't know if you've ever caught.

[00:19:05] TREY GERRALD: metaphor, they get the point

[00:19:06] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, like I don't know if you've ever cooked with impossible meat, but impossible meat has like a f ton of salt in it.

So one time I was making a fake meat sauce with impossible meat, and I added a little bit of salt and not realizing that there was so much salt in the meat, and I really did feel like like I'm gonna like puke on this salt water, like it's horrible. So that did have an impact on me. That one

[00:19:30] TREY GERRALD: but that's my question, when, what is the sacrifice then? Like, if you're gonna eat the healthier version, then maybe they're putting other bullshit in it, you know, it's like, I, I just, I don't know, I'm not the person to talk about a healthy diet, but like,

[00:19:44] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. I mean, I do think that they are purporting themselves as being like this organic non gmo, You know, like they definitely are advertising as healthy. So there's something in that discrepancy. Maybe,

[00:19:55] TREY GERRALD: I agree, cause I would not expect it to be high in sodium. If it's healthier,

[00:20:00] CHELSEY DONN: Yes.

[00:20:01] TREY GERRALD: but I don't feel like there's much compromise at the times I've been to veggie grill. So that's also like confusing me here because veggie grill seems like a really beautiful compromise, even though I know it's not truly the healthiest of

[00:20:12] CHELSEY DONN: right. It's still not healthy. Like I'm not going there, but for the health necessarily, but I do think

[00:20:17] TREY GERRALD: It's the ying and the yang. Spelling grammar is fine.

[00:20:21] CHELSEY DONN: fine.

[00:20:22] TREY GERRALD: I think they're being truthful. I think they're being funny to like, I don't know. Do you think this is going to be typical? I mean, you said it's 3. 5 or

[00:20:31] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, I mean it is a 3. 9. So maybe it is. I, I honestly thinking in gazing through the reviews, the major complaint does seem to be the prices, which like I don't really fault them for necessarily, right? Because I think that like you said I'm gonna know that I'm gonna be paying a premium in this situation.


[00:20:48] TREY GERRALD: Yeah,

[00:20:49] CHELSEY DONN: which to me is like better than the food complaining. But anyway, should

[00:20:53] TREY GERRALD: correct. That's right. That's unique info, I

[00:20:55] CHELSEY DONN: Right. Yeah.

[00:20:56] TREY GERRALD: ish, I guess. All right. You wanna crown it?

[00:20:58] CHELSEY DONN: Yes. Let's count it.

[00:20:59] TREY GERRALD: So, Chelsea and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards. In an effort to be fair and not influence one another, we will simultaneously reveal our ratings.

[00:21:08] VOICEOVER: The Queens are tabulating, Total Score,

[00:21:17] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. I'm holding up two crowns. Trey is holding up three and a half crowns. Trey, you go first. Why? Three and a half crowns for Charlie G.

[00:21:26] TREY GERRALD: I think I was being a little nitpicky in the assessment but like ultimately it's like I appreciate that they're comparing it to fast food because I can sort of like wrap my head around that and they're sort of introducing the like what is the complex what is the word I'm looking for they're introducing the conundrum of like I want to eat healthier I want to respect my body but God is it at a premium price and it's like I'm getting a smaller portion so like what am I doing like I should I just go to In N Out like if I'm paying this much money like I could get What I actually want for cheap.

You know, it's like quite a conundrum that I even myself feel. So I actually, I'm going to set three and a half because I think there's valuable points there. I'm not sure in deducing like maybe Charlie has never attempted to eat healthier. And so like, it's like the first experience. So like, you're just going to feel just slightly disappointed, even though they said, You know, the taste was pretty positive, but like, you know, I just don't know that everyone will have this sodium attack experience, but I recognized their point of view as something that rings true to me, so I said three and a half because it's warning me a little bit about the price tag, and I don't know, I'm someone who wants to fucking stuff my face with fries, so now I at least know I need to get a large fry and a small fry.

I don't know. I don't think it would deter me. I would be curious to gather my own information. Chelsey, why did you say two?

[00:22:49] CHELSEY DONN: I said two because I just don't know if it's a fair comparison. I hear you and all your points on maybe like this is the first out, you know, outside of the In N Out box that we're really going. So maybe it's a good analogy for Charlie, but I think personally, it's not really fair to the business to be judging them off In N Out.

They're not In N Out. They're kind of their own thing. thing, I think,

[00:23:11] TREY GERRALD: That's interesting.

[00:23:12] CHELSEY DONN: and so that's why I only went with two crowns, but I was definitely pushed with the salt comment, like I'm gonna look at the menu and stuff and look at the sodium. I'm curious now, so that was worth something, but outside of that not much more value there for me, so two crowns.

[00:23:28] TREY GERRALD: Love that. Well, I hope they come over here to the East Coast. I want, I want to try.

[00:23:33] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, right? I hope they don't ruin VeggieGrowl. But wait, there's a reply! See? Okay, so, so this isn't like a huge reply. We don't necessarily have to crown this, but I just wanted to read it because it was there. It just says, Hi, Charlie. Thanks for taking the time to leave us some feedback on your recent visit.

The chicken burger is one of my faves, and I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it. The Nutritional Facts for Sodium can be found on our website if you're interested in knowing exact numbers. If you'd like to chat further about your visit, we can be reached at con at nextlevelburger. com.

[00:24:06] TREY GERRALD: Con, or com,

[00:24:08] CHELSEY DONN: Con, like a con artist.

[00:24:10] TREY GERRALD: that's a weird email. I mean, you know, I think that's a perfectly fine reply. It's sort of like, I like that they're like humanizing by saying like, it's one of my favorites too.

[00:24:19] CHELSEY DONN: right. And pulling that positive bit

[00:24:22] TREY GERRALD: And also saying, do your own research. If you want to look at the sodium, go here.

[00:24:26] CHELSEY DONN: Right. Yeah, I like that. It made me feel a little bit, like, safer, like they're not hiding behind anything. You know,

[00:24:34] TREY GERRALD: I agree. Yeah. All right. NLB,

[00:24:38] CHELSEY DONN: in and check it out. NLB, NLB,

[00:24:44] TREY GERRALD: NLB,

[00:24:45] CHELSEY DONN: right.

[00:24:46] TREY GERRALD: just got here this morning,

[00:24:49] CHELSEY DONN: Exactly. All right, Trey. Well, I think we've done it. I think we've reached the most regal portion of our show. Who are you inducting for?

[00:25:02] VOICEOVER: My Royal Highness,

[00:25:04] TREY GERRALD: You can't, can you read this?

[00:25:06] CHELSEY DONN: Chip Clips?

[00:25:07] TREY GERRALD: This is so fucking weird. I wrote down that I wanted to induct these little chip clips. That clip, the bag of chips closed. This is after I mentioned I couldn't stick my hand in because of my finger, and then you do

[00:25:21] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, yeah.

[00:25:23] TREY GERRALD: and now here I am. Anyway, I just want to say, in many points in my life, I have not had chip clips, because I feel like it's like stupid and who cares, you just get a rubber band, or like you just like crinkle it down and roll it over, but it inevitably will unroll.

[00:25:37] CHELSEY DONN: Getsdale.

[00:25:38] TREY GERRALD: Yes, and these chip clip things, they really keep it sealed, like it really is crazy, like bags of chips and such, will stay fresher, I mean, I know that like this is so stupid, but I like having various things in bags that you can munch on throughout

[00:25:57] CHELSEY DONN: Sure.

[00:25:58] TREY GERRALD: And the advent of chip clips really are a game change.

It's the same as, like, bread, like, you wouldn't just, like, leave your bread out, like, you have to have a bread tie. Like, we're not Neanderthals. So, like, it's just something that does make life better. So, I'm not reinventing the wheel here, but I just, I want to call everyone's attention. We need to give five crowns to chip clips.

They're very deserving. And I'm gonna stop taking it for granted. Also, you can plug your nose, and it hurts. So, for that, and all of the reasons above, Chip clips, you are my royal highness.

[00:26:33] CHELSEY DONN: I concur. Do you think that chip clips owes residuals to the clothesline, um,

[00:26:41] TREY GERRALD: Oh, clothespins!

[00:26:43] CHELSEY DONN: clothespins?

[00:26:44] TREY GERRALD: Oh my god, remember those brown Wait, because there's two kinds of clothespins. There's the solid ones that have a slit. The pressure will stick out. Those are like old timey, like, old timey. And then they have the little wooden ones that have the spring.

[00:26:55] CHELSEY DONN: I'm thinking of wood with spring.

[00:26:57] TREY GERRALD: Yes, I think that that's I mean, I feel like my grandmother had those.

[00:27:01] CHELSEY DONN: Right? They were just like, we need like a clothesline pin, but we need it to be a little wider with a little bit of a bigger spring to go around chips.

[00:27:11] TREY GERRALD: Mine has a magnet on it, good

[00:27:13] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, cause you could say, yeah, you could stick it on the fridge.

[00:27:15] TREY GERRALD: I love them,

[00:27:16] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, I love good chip clip. I'm pro chip clip for sure.

[00:27:20] TREY GERRALD: also you mentioned earlier the dip chip or whatever you were saying,

[00:27:23] CHELSEY DONN: The dip chip.

[00:27:24] TREY GERRALD: the, the tongs that you

[00:27:26] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, I did this. Oh, this snack dip.

[00:27:28] TREY GERRALD: snack dip, right, it's so weird all this together,

[00:27:31] CHELSEY DONN: I

[00:27:32] TREY GERRALD: well we did it Queen, that was another round on the R U A R Q Ferris Wheel of I'm Swimming in the Dead Sea of Sodium Salt,

[00:27:42] CHELSEY DONN: that's right, we are, we're on the Carousel of Life, Trey. Thank you for joining us today. If you like what you heard, please, tell a friend.

[00:27:53] TREY GERRALD: and if you did not like what you heard on the Carousel of Life, Tell an enemy. Alright, you guys, on this week's After Show, Chelsey and I are gonna be rating a one star Amazon review for a shower cap. What could go wrong there?

[00:28:10] CHELSEY DONN: What could go wrong with the shower cap? I wonder why this was said though.

[00:28:16] TREY GERRALD: We're showing you here, but we're not gonna say out loud, because it's only gonna be teased here if you actually are watching the After Show. We're not gonna verbally

[00:28:26] CHELSEY DONN: But if you are watching the after show, just for

[00:28:29] TREY GERRALD: You can kind of Well, that's your address, honeybun.

[00:28:38] CHELSEY DONN: Delete that. Ha! I should have covered it.

[00:28:44] TREY GERRALD: I wonder that

[00:28:45] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, I don't know.

[00:28:47] TREY GERRALD: Well, make sure you remember.

[00:28:48] CHELSEY DONN: Ignore the haters, you're a queen.


[00:28:56] CHELSEY DONN: That's right. Bye.

[00:28:58] TREY GERRALD: Bye! Enjoy your fries!

[00:29:02] VOICEOVER: Sign up directly on Apple Podcast to hear our weekly members only after show. Unlock additional benefits when you become a Patreon slash patreon. Follow us on all the socials at the review queens and join our mailing Our kvetch line is open 24 7 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.

You never visit, you never write. Give us a call now.

[00:29:26] TREY GERRALD: Well, my friends, we have quite a treat for you. I'm going to play this uninterrupted. I don't think I can, it'll be too long. This is about five minutes of Chelsey and Trey talking about Joni Mitchell before we started today's episode. Just,

[00:29:38] CHELSEY DONN: didn't know we were recording for the record.

[00:29:42] TREY GERRALD: yeah, so just get ready. We love you guys, we'll see you Friday.

[00:29:46] CHELSEY DONN: See you Friday. Bye.

[00:29:48] TREY GERRALD: Is this a kid's song? Or a real Is this like Miley Cyrus?

[00:29:53] CHELSEY DONN: You never

[00:29:54] TREY GERRALD: What? Is this like CircleCircleDotDot?

[00:29:57] CHELSEY DONN: know.

[00:29:59] TREY GERRALD: What is the circle? Is this like from the Brady Bunch movie? Clowns never laughed before,

[00:30:05] CHELSEY DONN: No, but we should probably, are we recording?

[00:30:07] TREY GERRALD: never flew, Yes, we're recording because you started talking off mic, which is a rule we don't break. are those two episodes ago, in between, and I was so mad at you and I made you discuss it on the after show, do you remember? I don't know why you want to drop golden nuggets.

[00:30:26] CHELSEY DONN: Joni Mitchell!

[00:30:28] TREY GERRALD: we're recording. Sounds familiar. Yeah. What's it called?

[00:30:39] CHELSEY DONN: Circle game.

And the seasons, they go round and round, And the pains and ponies go up and down, We're captains

[00:31:21] TREY GERRALD: Like a carousel.

[00:31:22] CHELSEY DONN: carousel, Right? We can't be turned,

[00:31:26] TREY GERRALD: Mm hmm circle of life.

[00:31:29] CHELSEY DONN: move, We find from where we came, And go round and round,

[00:31:42] TREY GERRALD: Why are we doing this?

[00:31:43] CHELSEY DONN: I just wanted you to explain

[00:31:48] TREY GERRALD: Wait, what made you think of this song, pray

[00:31:50] CHELSEY DONN: because we were, Oh, because we were talking about how fast time is moving and it's just like, it's always happening. And I was like, yeah, it's like a circle game and you didn't get the reference. And I was like, what? And then I

[00:32:02] TREY GERRALD: Joni Mitchell's, like, biggest hit?

[00:32:05] CHELSEY DONN: Trey, you're going to embarrass me in front of my family. I don't know, like, um, music facts really, but what's your

[00:32:10] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, okay, I don't know any of this, but I can't imagine that song being on the radio. Like, that cannot be one of her hits. It was like so sleepy.

[00:32:20] CHELSEY DONN: I want you to call in 1 850 REVIEW ZERO if you know the circle games, okay, uh,

[00:32:30] TREY GERRALD: I'll put this at the very end, maybe, but this is not how, we're three and a half minutes into the episode. Chelsey can't breathe. This is, I think that, I think that the headache has turned into, um, insanity.

[00:32:57] CHELSEY DONN: okay, alright, we're here, we're here, 3 2 1, okay,

[00:33:02] TREY GERRALD: it's irrelevant at this point, but we might as well for consistency. Okay.

[00:33:09] CHELSEY DONN: gosh, she's on struggle, she's struggling today, alright,

[00:33:16] TREY GERRALD: All right. We're ready?

[00:33:18] CHELSEY DONN: yes, okay,

[00:33:21] TREY GERRALD: Three.

[00:33:22] CHELSEY DONN: I need a drink,

[00:33:23] TREY GERRALD: Water. Mm hmm. You're so good at that.

[00:33:33] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my god, we're capped upon a garrison of life, Trey, all right, three, two,

[00:33:41] TREY GERRALD: one.

[00:33:42] CHELSEY DONN: whew!

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.



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