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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 144: "Wedding Band - 1 vs 5 Stars"



Review That Review with Chelsey & Trey
Episode 144: "Wedding Band - 1 vs 5 Stars"

Transcription


*Please pardon any and all spelling errors!



[00:00:00] CHELSEY DONN: Many parties are thrilled to hear Waterfalls by TLC,

[00:00:05] TREY GERRALD: Okay.

[00:00:05] CHELSEY DONN: sorry that you were not.


[00:00:00] THEME SONG: Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:38] CHELSEY DONN: Hello?

[00:00:40] TREY GERRALD: hi, Chelsey, and hello, listeners. Welcome to Review That Review. We are the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing.

That is Chelsey Donn.

[00:00:53] CHELSEY DONN: that is Trey

[00:00:55] TREY GERRALD: And together, we are,

[00:00:57] VOICEOVER: The Queens,

[00:01:00] TREY GERRALD: but first, Chelsey Goose. Tell me, is there anything that you would like to

[00:01:06] VOICEOVER: Lodge a complaint,

[00:01:07] TREY GERRALD: about this week?

[00:01:08] CHELSEY DONN: of course. I always plan a complaint and then something just happens in real time and I'm like, well, that's the complaint this week.

[00:01:14] TREY GERRALD: Tell us.

[00:01:15] CHELSEY DONN: when you know, you're on a very tight timeline and like you're just getting right to the corner there. You feel like, okay, I'm doing it. Everything's okay. And then all of a sudden everything starts to go wrong.

Everything that can go wrong. Does go wrong. If you have a dog, they shit diarrhea, sorry to be gross, but all over the carpet, you know, the electricity is not working properly, so the lights aren't working, I know that it's Murphy, like literally my mouse is not working, so I can't scroll through the script, like everything that could go wrong feels like it is going wrong, and I

[00:01:49] TREY GERRALD: Oops.

[00:01:49] CHELSEY DONN: There we go, see, right in the middle, and then we get a sound cue, it's just like, I don't know what it is, because somebody recently told me that we're not in Mercury Retrograde right now, but like, what the hell, I can't blame Mercury, I gotta keep blaming Murphy, I know I blamed Murphy as like, or I complained about Murphy, I think it's one of my first ever complaints on the show, and I'm still complaining about Murphy, Give. Me. A break. Okay? Let's just not pile it on. I have a busy day, we got things to do, I would really appreciate it if we could just bless the rest of the day. Cause I'm done. I'm done, and it's not even, like, noon yet.

[00:02:27] TREY GERRALD: I hear that, that is an ongoing thing, even in my own life, but I do want to point out, all of our Patreon members that are watching, I got new merch!

[00:02:35] CHELSEY DONN: Woo! That's right.

[00:02:37] TREY GERRALD: Chelsey is currently wearing our Kvetch sweatshirt 1. 0, but I am wearing the Kvetch sweatshirt 2. 0, which I think is so much cuter, all designed by Chelsey.

So if you want to be stylish with us, there is a litany of purchasable merch. If you go to reviewthatreview. com slash shop.

[00:02:58] CHELSEY DONN: Do it. Do it now. Now's the time.

[00:03:00] TREY GERRALD: this, this is like embroidered. It's not like a weird like iron on thing. It's like multicolored, super cute. I'm obsessed with it.

[00:03:08] CHELSEY DONN: I don't do iron ons. But did you notice that the colors in the kvetch are the colors from our logo?

[00:03:15] TREY GERRALD: Oh, that makes so much. Oh, that makes sense.

[00:03:19] CHELSEY DONN: So it's like kind of like a rainbow kvetch moment.

[00:03:22] TREY GERRALD: Yes.

[00:03:23] CHELSEY DONN: are pulled from our Review That Review logo, that is one of my faves.

[00:03:27] TREY GERRALD: It's so cute.

[00:03:28] CHELSEY DONN: on you, Trey,

[00:03:29] TREY GERRALD: It's really I love it. Anyway, I hear the complaint. I acknowledge where you're at. And I think we're gonna like move positively into the future. Chelsea, you want to go head to head?

[00:03:41] CHELSEY DONN: Please, let's do it.

[00:03:42] TREY GERRALD: Let's go

[00:03:43] VOICEOVER: that kvetch,

[00:03:45] TREY GERRALD: Queens, today is another versus episode, meaning we are going to be covering both one star and five star reviews on the same exact topic.

[00:03:52] CHELSEY DONN: That's right! For this Versus episode, Trey has selected the 5 star and I have selected the 1 star! So, to determine who reads first, we gotta flip that quarter! Alright, who

[00:04:03] TREY GERRALD: It's your turn, heads.

[00:04:06] CHELSEY DONN: All right. I guess I win.

[00:04:09] TREY GERRALD: Today, we are collecting data from the internet, from both ends of the spectrum of TheKnot. com, which we haven't been to in ages, for a wedding band named Emerald Empire Band,

[00:04:26] CHELSEY DONN: Wow. Wow.

[00:04:27] TREY GERRALD: time of this recording, there are 314 reviews on The Knot, with an average score of 4. 9 out of 5, that's very high.

So wait, so how do we have a one star, if it's 4. it's that 1.

[00:04:44] CHELSEY DONN: so many five star reviews, but there are always a few people

[00:04:49] TREY GERRALD: That got some gripes. Well, let's see how it goes today. So according to the About This Vendor section on TheKnot. com, Emerald Empire Band is quote, Here to make your wedding the greatest party of your life as live music experts, wedding enthusiasts and party starters, they infuse every event with energy and full dance floors.

God, all of this is such a personal nightmare to me, but not to lead the witness. The Emerald Empire are a premium, customizable, three to fourteen piece band, specializing in high energy music at a sensible price. Our talented and professional musicians have performed regularly with touring and recording artists including Aretha Franklin, R.

I. P., Bruno Mars, Greg Allman, Janelle Monae, Jay Z, Martina McBride, and Stevie Wonder. Is Stevie Wonder still alive?

[00:05:44] CHELSEY DONN: yes. I hope so.

[00:05:46] TREY GERRALD: As well as working and touring with numerous Broadway shows, end quote. They offer showcase dates, which is basically where you can go and see the band perform live. They also offer several quote unquote add ons.

So I just want to go through these because they may come up in today's conversation. So one of the add ons is a cocktail hour band. God, that sounds so elegant. DJ services, and a designated producer to help with planning. Okay, then, as someone married to a wedding photographer, they also offer photo and video services.

The Sweating Band Company. With Lightwave Event Artists, we provide photography and videography services that are fully customizable to your needs and style. Special Offer! Get 10 percent off, select photo or video options when you book with Emerald Empire Band and Lightwave Event Artists. Last offering, as an add on, they offer Event Lighting Services.

I love this. All in one shop, customizable lighting options for every occasion, they offer room lighting to highlight your venue, cake lights, elegant uplighting, custom gobos with monograms, images or designs, and stage and band lighting to keep your guests dancing all night long, plus, Chelsey, can you believe it, get 10 percent off, They're basic lighting package when you add it to your band booking, Asterix, TNCs, APPL, which is their weird abbreviation, and I was wondering if maybe there was a word count on the not or something, APPL, anyway, that was a long monologue, I am past my Shakespearean days.

Alright, so with all that background info, let's jump in!

[00:07:33] VOICEOVER: Review That Review,

[00:07:37] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, with all the R E S P E C T, I just feel like that's like too many services

[00:07:43] TREY GERRALD: It is um, it's more like a wedding event rather than a wedding band.

[00:07:47] CHELSEY DONN: in your lane. Like I want to go to my specialist for my specialty. I'm fine with you referring out,

[00:07:53] TREY GERRALD: Interesting.

[00:07:54] CHELSEY DONN: I don't know. That's just the way I

[00:07:55] TREY GERRALD: Well, but that's a great point you make because it does seem to me like they're teaming up with this company called Lightwave Event Artists.

[00:08:03] CHELSEY DONN: but I don't know. Something about it just feels a little

[00:08:06] TREY GERRALD: Correct. Which is why I included it.

[00:08:08] CHELSEY DONN: right? I know I did like that. All right.

[00:08:11] TREY GERRALD: Wait, I want to, wait, I came up with a really fun segue. Can I use it? Chelsey, it's your turn to take the floor. Get it? Do you get it?

[00:08:21] CHELSEY DONN: yes,

[00:08:21] TREY GERRALD: Got it.

[00:08:22] CHELSEY DONN: I got it, thank you, thank

[00:08:24] TREY GERRALD: She's dancing on out to the center of the stage.

[00:08:27] CHELSEY DONN: that's right, okay, so guys, this review was written on my birthday,

[00:08:31] TREY GERRALD: No. Oh, no.

[00:08:37] CHELSEY DONN: star, Review, perhaps an anomaly for Empire Band, but let's see what Alice P. has to say, here we go. The absolute worst! I cannot say Emerald Empire Band ruined my wedding because the groom and I married and that was the most important thing, but they definitely ruined the reception. The band was a total waste of money and I wish we would have just made our own playlist.

[00:09:06] TREY GERRALD: Oh, oof.

[00:09:07] CHELSEY DONN: They were incredibly unprepared and disjointed.

[00:09:11] TREY GERRALD: Hmm? What?! What the? What? No. No?

[00:09:30] CHELSEY DONN: the receiving line to tell them to begin to play for the cocktail hour and also had to stop them from playing the father daughter song out of order.

[00:09:44] TREY GERRALD: Oh no.

[00:09:46] CHELSEY DONN: Our instructions on the band worksheet were clear.

[00:09:50] TREY GERRALD: Hmm. Fun.

[00:10:05] CHELSEY DONN: for the reception,

[00:10:07] TREY GERRALD: Fun. Don't

[00:10:28] CHELSEY DONN: by TLC.

[00:10:30] TREY GERRALD: go.

[00:10:30] CHELSEY DONN: Seriously? How is that dance music?

[00:10:35] TREY GERRALD: Hmm.

[00:10:35] CHELSEY DONN: single Motown song was played the

[00:10:38] TREY GERRALD: No. No.

[00:10:38] CHELSEY DONN: evening. I

[00:10:41] TREY GERRALD: Alright. What? What?

[00:11:05] CHELSEY DONN: At 10. 20, my coordinator went

[00:11:07] TREY GERRALD: I. What? Who? Who? I. Who? I. I. What?

[00:11:34] CHELSEY DONN: dance with my mother,

[00:11:37] TREY GERRALD: Oh,

[00:11:38] CHELSEY DONN: my sisters, my friends at my own wedding because the band played the most terrible sets I've ever heard. This was the most important piece of the reception to me, and Emerald Empire Band destroyed it. If you want good music at your reception, DO NOT HIRE EMERALD EMPIRE BAND!

[00:12:12] TREY GERRALD: Was that in all caps with periods between?

[00:12:14] CHELSEY DONN: It wasn't one of the periods, but it was all caps, and then at the end, there were like a million exclamation points. Yeah.

[00:12:22] TREY GERRALD: Oh, God.

[00:12:23] CHELSEY DONN: Great. God.

[00:12:25] TREY GERRALD: Well, okay, what's really glaring to me, they mention the word coordinator almost at the end, and I don't know what that means, is that like the wedding planner, or is that like the producer that the band includes,

[00:12:39] CHELSEY DONN: I get the impression that it's like private wedding planner, because I feel like coordinator, like if it was the producer for the band, they're not going to just be like, all right, guys, let's just plug in a phone.

[00:12:52] TREY GERRALD: well that's my major question here is, who's to blame here, because they mention the band worksheet, which I'm very curious, like what does it ask, does that include, I Give us a timeline and the reason I'm getting this nitpicky is because if there's a court, I want to know what coordinator means because if it's the wedding planner, the wedding planner is the stage manager.

They're the one that that like should be going up to the band instead of the bride leaving the receiving line. Also, the wedding planner should be divvying out Uh, timeline of events so that the bride gets to dance with all their people. Then I also have a question about like, if you weren't dancing, like if, like, I don't know what comes first, the chicken or the egg.

Does the dance music start and then everyone comes to the dance floor or does everyone come to the dance floor and then they start playing music?

[00:13:43] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, the dance music happens

[00:13:45] TREY GERRALD: I think there has to be, Come on, everyone, let's dance. Let's get this party started. Like there's that,

[00:13:52] CHELSEY DONN: Funk kind of is that song,

[00:13:54] TREY GERRALD: right? Let's

[00:13:55] CHELSEY DONN: especially in 2015 for sure. That was like the song that would bring people out and

[00:14:01] TREY GERRALD: and you suss out how the event's gonna go.

[00:14:04] CHELSEY DONN: yeah. And then if everybody's on the dance floor and they're dancing and having, you're like, Oh, we got to like keep the dance hits going. I mean, most importantly though, Trey, like, If there is sheet that I'm filling out for this band, you, did you have a band at your wedding?

[00:14:21] TREY GERRALD: We chose to have a DJ, but our DJ was like, I don't want to hear like a description, I want examples. So, a list of like, mellow love songs, like they want, he wanted specific examples, which I think is smart, because then it's interpretable. Also, I thought Muzak was like Kleenex, it's like a brand of like weird background music in elevators.

[00:14:46] CHELSEY DONN: I might be a brand, but I feel like now it's just known as like, yeah, elevator music, basically.

[00:14:52] TREY GERRALD: So is that the live band playing that and there's no vocalist?

[00:14:55] CHELSEY DONN: a little confused about that. Like, I was

[00:14:57] TREY GERRALD: Me too.

[00:14:59] CHELSEY DONN: is the live band just like orchestrating Muzak esque things without vocals?

[00:15:06] TREY GERRALD: I mean,

[00:15:07] CHELSEY DONN: doesn't have vocals, right?

[00:15:08] TREY GERRALD: I thought it was like instrumental. Yeah, like covers almost. You know, it's an interesting one star because I am getting value here because I remember when we prepared for our wedding, I didn't know anything because I had only maybe been to two weddings in my entire life. So I didn't really know.

And reading this, I'm sort of hearing Okay, I really need to think about this because if they're gonna take two minutes between songs That's an instant vibe kill. Yeah, that is like Unacceptable.

[00:15:39] CHELSEY DONN: That is unacceptable. Like, that was a beat, like, how could you possibly keep the energy going if you're taking two minutes in between each song to, like, regroup?

[00:15:50] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, that doesn't make any like I it it just feels unfathomable to me which again

[00:15:57] CHELSEY DONN: list and we're

[00:15:58] TREY GERRALD: That's what you would think Right and the drummer is leading into the next song as it's ending like

[00:16:04] CHELSEY DONN: exactly.

[00:16:05] TREY GERRALD: right because you're not applauding necessarily

[00:16:07] CHELSEY DONN: No, this isn't a concert,

[00:16:10] TREY GERRALD: See, that's again. It's again why

[00:16:13] CHELSEY DONN: between concert songs.

[00:16:16] TREY GERRALD: Well, that's again why I'm wondering if there's a wedding planner involved, because oftentimes You just think like, oh, like, we don't need that.

But that job is so important for shit like this, where,

[00:16:26] CHELSEY DONN: but let's be fair, not everybody's gonna have a wedding planner, so I feel like we

[00:16:31] TREY GERRALD: correct,

[00:16:32] CHELSEY DONN: the blame on the wedding planner. This is a service, we're paying the band, we're paying the

[00:16:36] TREY GERRALD: right? They should be responsible. You're right.

[00:16:39] CHELSEY DONN: they should be ready, they should be

[00:16:41] TREY GERRALD: Leading themselves. Yes, but also like, it is perplexing to me because what kind of a wedding band doesn't understand that like, Oh, it's the receiving line.

[00:16:52] CHELSEY DONN: sure.

[00:16:53] TREY GERRALD: Also, like, isn't there someone announcing, like, now we're doing the father daughter dance? Like, how does that song get?

[00:17:00] CHELSEY DONN: played the father daughter song out of order without being like, and now everybody, like, This is a nightmare. This is a nightmare. I'm sorry. I don't know that, like, I walk away. I understand that there's a 4. 9 overall and that is something, but I don't think I walk away from this feeling like this is avoidable.

Honestly,

[00:17:20] TREY GERRALD: It is especially because it's 2015. It's giving me the impression that like maybe they were in their infancy or maybe it was like all of the C list people. It wasn't the normal because I see that this company they actually like you can rent them all over the southeast. It seems like they're based in Nashville, but you can book them in South Carolina and other places Atlanta.

It must be a plethora of people and maybe it was just like all of the C team. You And, and not. You have to have insurance for that,

[00:17:53] CHELSEY DONN: You have to have insurance for that, like, especially if you went to the preview,

[00:17:59] TREY GERRALD: right? The showcase,

[00:18:00] CHELSEY DONN: so like, if you go to the showcase, you're seeing this band, you pick them based off of that, let's just say, hypothetically, and then this is what shows up after you do everything that they've asked you to do, obviously,

[00:18:13] TREY GERRALD: Something's really wrong, really, really wrong,

[00:18:15] CHELSEY DONN: All the, every time we read one of these reviews, I'm like, and this is why I don't want to have a traditional wedding. Like, can you imagine?

[00:18:22] TREY GERRALD: which is why I'm wondering if there's some sort of context we're not getting, because this is so awful,

[00:18:31] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah,

[00:18:32] TREY GERRALD: which is why I think this is a valuable review, because I'm hearing lots of things that if I was enchanted by all of the other five stars, there are specific points in here that I could be very proactive about.

In the consultation phase.

[00:18:47] CHELSEY DONN: mean, at very least if I was gonna go into a meeting with them, I would be like, how common is this? This is

[00:18:52] TREY GERRALD: Right.

[00:18:53] CHELSEY DONN: are you not gonna play the music that I requested? Is there gonna be long gaps between,

[00:18:58] TREY GERRALD: Right.

[00:18:58] CHELSEY DONN: would really feel based on this review that I'm armed with the questions or the Clarifications that I would want to make

[00:19:08] TREY GERRALD: So I'm not looking over my shoulder. Exactly. And the, it seems like there was maybe one spelling error towards the end,

[00:19:15] CHELSEY DONN: There was one that was like, we were there when they meant like we weren't there

[00:19:19] TREY GERRALD: which is like a pretty important typo, but by that point we got it. Do we think it's truthful shady? I mean, I am believing them. It just seems so unbelievable though.

[00:19:33] CHELSEY DONN: I am definitely believing them. I feel like they've given us enough specifics

[00:19:37] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, I agree.

[00:19:38] CHELSEY DONN: I feel like I believe them. Like, I believe that this person had this experience and then was like, I need to warn others, especially if there's a high overall, like, people are going to look for the one star

[00:19:49] TREY GERRALD: Correct. I think you're right there. And, and like, I buy the truthfulness here because it's so specific and, and the things that went wrong. I mean, the common fluky typical, I mean, it's hard here, because it's a 4. 9, so I don't, I don't know,

[00:20:08] CHELSEY DONN: is a very interesting one, which is that, like, whether or not it should ever be this way or not, like, did they just end up with the B team or the C team or the D team?

[00:20:19] TREY GERRALD: right,

[00:20:20] CHELSEY DONN: Maybe.

[00:20:21] TREY GERRALD: maybe, and how do we ensure that that doesn't happen, I don't know,

[00:20:24] CHELSEY DONN: Exactly. So I don't know how common it is. With a 4. 9, I would think it's not common, but

[00:20:30] TREY GERRALD: yeah, the humor, I mean, I did laugh about the jumper song, and it was entertaining for a one star, I think, I mean, I think I could crown, I

[00:20:42] CHELSEY DONN: crown. Let's go

[00:20:43] TREY GERRALD: Alice. Alright, so, Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards. In an effort to be fair and not influence one another, we will simultaneously reveal our rating.

[00:20:53] VOICEOVER: The Queens are tabulating, Total Score, There's

[00:21:02] CHELSEY DONN: I don't know why I went so low. Okay, so I'm holding up three and a half. Trey's holding up four and a half. Why four and a half?

[00:21:07] TREY GERRALD: Having prepared the five star, I have come into this a little biased, but I do think that Alice really provides a lot of supporting evidence that even if they were a backseat bride or if they were blowing it out of proportion, or I at least can read this and gauge questions and my hiring of them to make sure that i'm not in this circumstance and that is very valuable and that once again is the point of these reviews especially on the not where i feel like maybe you can be persuaded but if it's a one star this isn't just screaming unintelligible it doesn't feel vindictive it really feels like We should have just had an iTunes playlist, which is like the biggest insult I think you could offer.

But they, Alice really wins me over with what you said where there's enough specifics here to where it's like, okay, We were let down here. We were let down here. They dropped the ball here. They dropped the ball here. They ruined this and this and this, that I'm sort of like, all right, you win. And one typo, who cares?

Four and a half for me. So, Chelsey, why'd you say three and a half?

[00:22:14] CHELSEY DONN: gonna change it to four.

[00:22:16] TREY GERRALD: Okay.

[00:22:17] CHELSEY DONN: the two and I really should have given Alice four. I've reserved the one just because I feel like overall it's not like a review Queenie review. Like

[00:22:25] TREY GERRALD: Mm hmm. Trey, Chelsey, Review Queen, One Star Zinger, crowns, inducting, My Royal Highness, inducting,

[00:22:50] CHELSEY DONN: And so I think Alice deserves at least four crowns and I'm sorry and since it's like nine years later, I hope you're over it and you think back to your wedding and you remember the happy memories and you can kind of let some of this go, but I feel you and what a disappointment, four crowns,

[00:23:11] TREY GERRALD: Oh, absolutely, ugh, ugh, alright, we'll let, oh my god, thank god, okay, thank god, what, okay, let's hear this, let's hear it, fingers crossed,

[00:23:24] CHELSEY DONN: response from the vendor, two months later, on August 12th,

[00:23:29] TREY GERRALD: interesting,

[00:23:31] CHELSEY DONN: Thank you for your comments and concerns. I can speak for the Emerald Empire Band in saying that we take them very seriously.

[00:23:41] TREY GERRALD: hmm,

[00:23:41] CHELSEY DONN: I'm disappointed that we were not received well. Let me take a moment to explain the unfortunate circumstances by which this came about.

[00:23:50] TREY GERRALD: Okay.

[00:23:51] CHELSEY DONN: I feel strongly that the service that you received is not in any way normally indicative of our level of quality. This troubles me and it is something that I take very seriously and feel needs to be addressed to you publicly via this professional platform.

[00:24:10] TREY GERRALD: Mm hmm. Oh. Wow. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, T

[00:25:08] CHELSEY DONN: do think it is important to address the circumstances for which the performance was not satisfactory as well as assure potential clients reading this that we have taken these comments on board And I've taken an active approach to ensure this never happens again.

I am incredibly sorry that it was your event that suffered as a result of this unfortunate circumstance. And I will continue to do everything in my power to

[00:25:36] TREY GERRALD: You

[00:25:36] CHELSEY DONN: it from happening to another client in the future. The last thing I would want to do would be to leave you without a band the day before your wedding and I hope that my attempts to reach you and speak this matter through following the event and to provide a significant refund help show that this is not a matter we take lightly. It should be noted also, That there was no suggestion during the planning stages that 90s music was unfavorable. Without their lead singer slash leader, the band went with the material they believed would best suit the audience and that they could best execute. Many parties are thrilled to hear Waterfalls by

[00:26:26] TREY GERRALD: Oh god, okay,

[00:26:28] CHELSEY DONN: sorry that you were not. The songs that they chose to play are frequent

[00:26:32] TREY GERRALD: my god. Oh my god, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay

[00:26:46] CHELSEY DONN: musical selection. absence of Motown

[00:26:50] TREY GERRALD: Oh my god.

[00:26:51] CHELSEY DONN: a function of their leader being in the hospital.

Regardless of the above circumstance, it was truly a pleasure working and speaking with you guys in both the months before the event and in the weeks following. wish you guys all the best and are appreciative of our opportunity to perform for you. And again, we are very sorry it did not work out better. Sincerely. EEB.

[00:27:23] TREY GERRALD: It's a very close, good reply.

[00:27:27] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah.

[00:27:27] TREY GERRALD: It all is just coming across as very young to me. Wait, also it's crazy that I was like right, that it was like the C list, but it's funny because I was like waiting sort of eye roll y for what they would end with, but then they never actually got there, because I actually appreciate the full disclosure, but I was waiting for the comma.

We now have systems in place that this will never happen again, which they never said, because

[00:27:57] CHELSEY DONN: skirted around it.

[00:27:59] TREY GERRALD: they say they've included, implemented, whatever, but I'm like, they've taken it on board, I think is what they said, but to me, I'm like, no, but I need to know that you now will never let this happen again, because we understand that emergencies happen, Which is why, like, you know, the Broadway community has understudies.

It's like, why does the lead, why is there not an understudy leader? Why is there not someone that can jump in with a two day notice? Like, which sure, I'm sure that now, if this is as large of a company as it, I mean, they have 314 reviews. Like, I feel like the company has clearly grown. They didn't end and die after this event in 2015.

The two month wait period for the reply is concerning to me. Yeah, I don't know. It just, it's another thing that I would come with in my consultation. You know, obviously weddings are booked years, a year in advance at minimum, usually. And if you have multiple events, like you have to have multiple people in the leader position.

Like, it just, I appreciate the full disclosure. I think it was too verbose. They kept going. Just explained this emergency event happened. And we're, we have precautions in place so that no other couple is affected like this in the future, period. You don't have to talk about other people like 90s music.

That drops the ball to me. It really was going up and up and then plateaued and then really sort of did not stick the landing.

[00:29:23] CHELSEY DONN: I'm interesting. I mean, for me, I didn't, I never felt up and up. I was always annoyed.

[00:29:27] TREY GERRALD: Really?

[00:29:28] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, I was like, I, the second I read this reply, I was like, F you, like the hospital thing. Like, I mean, I hate to say so what? so what?

[00:29:40] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, I agree. I think so,

[00:29:42] CHELSEY DONN: your like, yeah, okay. Like, as a person, my heart goes out, of course, to anybody that's in the hospital.

[00:29:49] TREY GERRALD: but I'm buying a service.

[00:29:50] CHELSEY DONN: a service,

[00:29:51] TREY GERRALD: Amen.

[00:29:52] CHELSEY DONN: I don't care. This is a travesty. This is completely unacceptable. You've restated the same sentence over and over again,

[00:30:01] TREY GERRALD: Mm hmm.

[00:30:02] CHELSEY DONN: There's gotta be a fail safe for this.

[00:30:05] TREY GERRALD: That's right.

[00:30:06] CHELSEY DONN: in place. Like, they almost double down on the excuse when they're then like, but some people like waterfalls.

Like, No, sorry, like, you're not winning me over, and you're also, like, leading the witness when you're saying, like, and we're writing this so that future people that are reading this review will not be, like, deterred, I'm still deterred, I just think we missed something on the tone, like, I do think there's a way to quickly state that,

[00:30:33] TREY GERRALD: Yes.

[00:30:33] CHELSEY DONN: hospital thing.

Sometimes, like, more, like,

[00:30:36] TREY GERRALD: Less is more.

[00:30:37] CHELSEY DONN: but sometimes more is less, I feel like,

[00:30:40] TREY GERRALD: Mm hmm.

[00:30:40] CHELSEY DONN: replies, you know what I mean? Like, when, like, I'm so sorry we had an emergency happen, but that is not an excuse. This should never have occurred.

[00:30:49] TREY GERRALD: Mhm. Right. Right.

[00:31:11] CHELSEY DONN: never happen again,

[00:31:13] TREY GERRALD: Right. Amen.

[00:31:15] CHELSEY DONN: This was not a winning reply for me.

[00:31:17] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, I agree. Yeah. Yeah, let's crown it.

[00:31:20] VOICEOVER: The Queens are tabulating. Total score.

[00:31:28] CHELSEY DONN: Trey's holding up one and a half crowns, I'm holding up a half crown. Why one and a half crowns for the reply?

[00:31:33] TREY GERRALD: I mean, everything you just said, I feel like it didn't make me as angry, but I feel like they were almost there, and then they just really dropped the ball. Like, I feel like I am looking at the review from a different lens, so I'm, I think they were successful at that, but I just need them to say, like, we have procedures in place, this will never occur again.

I'm sorry that you were the victim of it. Why'd you say half?

[00:31:55] CHELSEY DONN: I said half because I'm happy to know that they did at least do a partial refund. I feel like that makes me feel a little bit better, even though at the end of the day, like, it's not about the money, like, it is about the memory and the experience. That's where the half crown is coming from. But as I've stated, other than that, I don't feel this is successful. think it speaks well of the company. I don't like excuses like this and I couldn't give more than half a crown.

[00:32:21] TREY GERRALD: Yeek.

[00:32:22] CHELSEY DONN: I'm

[00:32:22] TREY GERRALD: Alright.

[00:32:23] CHELSEY DONN: to hear the five star review because clearly I'm all riled up now.

[00:32:27] TREY GERRALD: And, not to be any certain way, this is clearly the anomaly, because they have a 4. 9 rating. Alright, well let's do an exhale. Wee oh,

[00:32:38] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:32:39] TREY GERRALD: wee oh, wee oh! Alright, Chelsey, it is game time! And listeners, I have created a never before existed game. Today we're going to be playing Is it a dance? Or is it simply just a little Prance.

Alright, so what this means is, there is a website called Queenstown Weddings, and they have compiled a list of the 200 most requested wedding dance floor songs of all time. So I'm going to tell you two different songs, and I'm going to be asking you, which one is the dance, which one is the prance, meaning.

You just got to tell me which song ranks higher on the list.

[00:33:22] CHELSEY DONN: up to dance?

[00:33:23] TREY GERRALD: one is more requested than the other?

[00:33:25] CHELSEY DONN: Got it.

[00:33:26] TREY GERRALD: All right, so Dance is, it's more requested. Prance is less requested.

[00:33:32] CHELSEY DONN: Fair. Got it.

[00:33:33] TREY GERRALD: Okay, so I have 10 rounds. Here we go. Chelsey, when we're comparing the songs Baby Got Back by Sir Mix a Lot against Trey, which All of Me by John Legend.

[00:33:47] CHELSEY DONN: my god, that's hard.

[00:33:49] TREY GERRALD: I know it's hard. Which song is more requested?

[00:33:54] CHELSEY DONN: Oh god. I love Baby Got Back, so I'm gonna say Baby Got Back as a dance, but I feel like all of me is probably more popular at weddings, but I'll just go with Baby Got Back as dance. Mm hmm, right? No, no, no, I'm wrong. I'm

[00:34:10] TREY GERRALD: You're right, Baby Got Back is listed as the 52nd most requested song, while All of Me is listed as the 56th.

[00:34:20] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, close.

[00:34:22] TREY GERRALD: really close. Okay, round two, Chelsey, when you compare the songs Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper Against, Starships were meant to fly, Which song is more requested?

[00:34:38] CHELSEY DONN: gonna go with starships. I don't know why. know. Whatever.

[00:34:48] TREY GERRALD: Alright, so, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun ranks as the 60th most requested, and Starships is 150.

[00:34:57] CHELSEY DONN: oh damn, okay, well,

[00:35:00] TREY GERRALD: Oh, also I should say that this list was compiled in 2021. Okay, number three. Hooked on a Feeling by Blue Suede. Ah, hooked on a feelin Versus, Let's Groove Tonight, by Earth, Wind Fire. Which is more requested?

[00:35:24] CHELSEY DONN: let's groove tonight, damn, okay, okay,

[00:35:29] TREY GERRALD: was, this is also very close. So at 197, hooked on a feelin but Let's Groove Tonight is 199. So very, very close. Okay, Chelsey, Can't Stop the Feelin by Justin Timberlake. Or, You Shook Me All Night Long by ACDC.

[00:35:51] CHELSEY DONN: god, shook me, I am not doing well, Trey,

[00:35:59] TREY GERRALD: Well this is an interesting case, cause it's not, cause you would think like, oh well if the song is older it's had more time, right, but not so, so, Can't Stop the Feeling by Justin Timberlake is the number eighteen, You Shook Me All Night Long is number thirty three, so odds are you're gonna hear them both.

At the wedding.

[00:36:18] CHELSEY DONN: both of those songs.

[00:36:19] TREY GERRALD: Yeah. Okay.

[00:36:20] CHELSEY DONN: All right, well, she's not doing well.

[00:36:22] TREY GERRALD: It's okay.

[00:36:23] CHELSEY DONN: right, but we'll, we'll keep going.

[00:36:25] TREY GERRALD: All right, Chelsey. Livin on a prayer, by Bon Jovi. Versus, Lookin so crazy in love, got me lookin got me lookin so crazy in love, by Beyonce and Jay Z.

[00:36:37] CHELSEY DONN: geez. I'm gonna go with Beyonce. Why not? Guys,

[00:36:46] TREY GERRALD: Tough.

[00:36:47] CHELSEY DONN: not my game, not my game. Okay,

[00:36:50] TREY GERRALD: is number 14, but crazy in love is 20. So also pretty close. Let's, let's stay with Queen B. So when you're comparing the songs, I'm a love on top, baby, by Beyonce, Versus, We are,

[00:37:06] CHELSEY DONN: Oh,

[00:37:07] TREY GERRALD: by Sister Sledge,

[00:37:09] CHELSEY DONN: oh, it's gotta be We're Family. They play that at every wedding. We are family.

[00:37:16] TREY GERRALD: you're right. So We Are Family is number 47, and Love on Top is 76, although both absolutely are going to be played at weddings. Like I would, I would think that Love on Top is probably played more, although,

[00:37:29] CHELSEY DONN: like so low on it.

[00:37:31] TREY GERRALD: although Crazy in Love is 20, so Crazy in Love beats Love on Top, but okay, here we go. Oh, this is a good one.

Okay, Chelsey, This Is How We Do It,

[00:37:40] CHELSEY DONN: Love

[00:37:41] TREY GERRALD: by Montel William, sorry, Montel Jordan,

[00:37:44] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:37:45] TREY GERRALD: versus, Summer of 69, 69, which ranks higher?

[00:37:51] CHELSEY DONN: This is how we do it. This is how we do it. on, give it to me.

[00:37:58] TREY GERRALD: You're right,

[00:37:58] CHELSEY DONN: So I did it. Saw a dance to that at my bat mitzvah.

[00:38:01] TREY GERRALD: so yes, This Is How We Do It is number 40, Summer of 69 is 77, okay Chelsey, it's gonna get harder for our last three rounds.

[00:38:12] CHELSEY DONN: I believe it. Okay.

[00:38:13] TREY GERRALD: Sweet Caroline, by Neil Diamond, or, Proud Mary Keeps On Burnin Do do do do do do do do, which ranks higher?

[00:38:29] CHELSEY DONN: I'm gonna go Proud Mary. I really want to know how David would do on this game. I feel like David, if you're listening,

[00:38:39] TREY GERRALD: I know, David, you have to call in.

[00:38:41] CHELSEY DONN: you are going to crush it because of all the weddings you've been

[00:38:43] TREY GERRALD: So, surprisingly, this shook me to my core.

[00:38:47] CHELSEY DONN: keeps on burnin rollin

[00:38:49] TREY GERRALD: Proud Mary ranks as 175 out of 200.

[00:38:54] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my god, that can't be accurate.

[00:38:56] TREY GERRALD: Sweet Caroline. Number three,

[00:39:00] CHELSEY DONN: Number three! Wow.

[00:39:03] TREY GERRALD: requested, but it makes sense because everyone's always like, um, um, um, right?

[00:39:08] CHELSEY DONN: a bop, and I get that it's definitely on the playlist, but I'm surprised. Okay.

[00:39:14] TREY GERRALD: it surprised me too. Okay, these last two, don't get mad at me.

[00:39:18] CHELSEY DONN: Alright, I won't.

[00:39:20] TREY GERRALD: All right, Chelsey, which song is ranked highest at a wedding? Oh, it's with somebody by Whitney Houston.

[00:39:28] CHELSEY DONN: okay, okay.

[00:39:29] TREY GERRALD: Versus, Don't Stop Believin by Journey,

[00:39:34] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my god, Trey! Just because she's the queen, I'm gonna always give it to Whitney, even if I'm wrong. Woo!

[00:39:44] TREY GERRALD: you're right, and David Pearlman talks about this all the fucking time, that it is the most played song of all time at weddings, and it is number one on this list,

[00:39:54] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, it's on

[00:39:57] TREY GERRALD: is number seven,

[00:39:58] CHELSEY DONN: yeah, I was gonna say, it's still hot, because everyone likes to sing that song, too.

[00:40:01] TREY GERRALD: alright, and then this one just makes me laugh, our last round, which of these two songs is requested more than the other? Cha cha slide, real smooth.

[00:40:11] CHELSEY DONN: Ooh,

[00:40:11] TREY GERRALD: Two times by DJ Casper

[00:40:14] CHELSEY DONN: Side to the right.

[00:40:16] TREY GERRALD: or

[00:40:16] CHELSEY DONN: one? Yeah.

[00:40:17] TREY GERRALD: Electric Boogie, which is the Electric Slide by Marsha Griffiths. So Cha Cha Slide or the Electric Slide,

[00:40:27] CHELSEY DONN: God, this is hard. This is really hard because we're talking 20,

[00:40:33] TREY GERRALD: 2021.

[00:40:34] CHELSEY DONN: I feel like if it's and it could be wrong, I'm gonna go with Cha Cha slide only because I feel like the electric slide is sort of like more 90s. I'm right!

[00:40:45] TREY GERRALD: That really surprised me. So Cha Cha Slide is number 12, but the Electric Slide, AKA Electric Boogie, Is 163.

[00:40:56] CHELSEY DONN: It was so popular in the 90s, and then the cha cha slide sort of like, took the place of the electric slide.

[00:41:02] TREY GERRALD: Right.

[00:41:03] CHELSEY DONN: do the cha cha slide and the

[00:41:05] TREY GERRALD: the electric slide.

[00:41:06] CHELSEY DONN: That would just be too much.

[00:41:08] TREY GERRALD: I mean, I just think of the electric slide as like the song.

[00:41:11] CHELSEY DONN: Dun dun

[00:41:13] TREY GERRALD: you ended on a tie, which means we'll have to do a tiebreaker on the after show. Well, that was fun, right?

[00:41:18] CHELSEY DONN: proud of myself. I really turned it

[00:41:20] TREY GERRALD: You really did. I was, I was really proud of that game because how fucking crazy.

[00:41:26] CHELSEY DONN: That was really good. Listeners, call in. Did you beat me? Did you get more than five correct? Let us know. 1

[00:41:34] TREY GERRALD: Tell us.

[00:41:35] CHELSEY DONN: 5 0. Review. Zero.

[00:41:38] TREY GERRALD: alright, so, I am here to provide the flip side of the story. So, I am going to be sharing a five star review from TheKnot. com. This one is written by Lane, L A N E, H, and, interestingly enough, this is written in 2018. So, after yours, but not Necessarily current day. Yeah.

[00:41:59] CHELSEY DONN: All right. Well, I can't wait to hear the flip side.

[00:42:02] TREY GERRALD: Well, if you want to hear the flip side, then you've got to join our Patreon.

ReviewThatReview. com slash Patreon.

[00:42:09] CHELSEY DONN: That's right, at review that review dot com slash patreon. That's where you're gonna go.

[00:42:14] TREY GERRALD: Well, we did a queen. That was another round on the R U A R Q Ferris wheel of Wedding Coordinator. Never heard of it.

[00:42:22] CHELSEY DONN: Thank you for joining us today. If you like what you heard, please tell a bridesmaid, tell a groomsman.

[00:42:30] TREY GERRALD: And if you did not like what you heard, please tell your ex. On this week's After Show, we are both taking a spin on the Meryl Go Round, as well as reading and reviewing that opposite end of the spectrum review, written by Lane.

[00:42:42] CHELSEY DONN: Wow, I wonder why this was said.

[00:42:47] TREY GERRALD: Wait, this is random, have you seen Showgirls? I think we should watch it together,

[00:42:54] CHELSEY DONN: Done.

[00:42:55] TREY GERRALD: and we, like, maybe we could do it,

[00:42:57] CHELSEY DONN: um,

[00:42:58] TREY GERRALD: uh, I know we did it last summer,

[00:42:59] CHELSEY DONN: summer.

[00:43:00] TREY GERRALD: I think we should watch Showgirls together, like, as a Patreon thing, and then we could, like, do reviews, we could do a versus on Showgirls, You Wonder, We Wonder, Wonder Bread,

[00:43:14] CHELSEY DONN: Wonder Bread. Oh, God. Is that even bread?

[00:43:17] TREY GERRALD: I don't know, but the design's cute,

[00:43:18] CHELSEY DONN: we contemplate on

[00:43:19] TREY GERRALD: Please Remember Queens,

[00:43:21] CHELSEY DONN: Ignore the haters. You're a queen.

[00:43:24] TREY GERRALD: Nonspecific Queen, good,

[00:43:28] CHELSEY DONN: Goodbye.

[00:43:33] TREY GERRALD: very good, with the hand too,

[00:43:37] VOICEOVER: Sign up directly on Apple Podcast to hear our weekly members only after show. Unlock additional benefits when you become a Patreon member@reviewthatreview.com slash patreon. Follow us on all the socials at the review queens and join our mailing list@reviewthatreview.com. Our fetch line is open 24 7 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.

You never visit, you never write. Give us a call now.

[00:43:57] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, so one of my favorite movies ever, because, you know, I'm a huge Adam Sandler fan,

[00:44:02] TREY GERRALD: mm hmm,

[00:44:02] CHELSEY DONN: Wedding Singer. I love it so much.

[00:44:04] TREY GERRALD: Oh, yeah.

[00:44:04] CHELSEY DONN: have a really fun wedding singer story that I'm gonna tell in the after show, so

[00:44:10] TREY GERRALD: Ooh.

[00:44:10] CHELSEY DONN: in on Friday, Queens.

[00:44:12] TREY GERRALD: Oh, I love it. Love you guys. See you Friday.

[00:44:14] CHELSEY DONN: Love you too, bye!



Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.


 

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