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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 155: "Celebrity Makeup Artist & School - 1 Star Review"

Review That Review with Chelsey & Trey
Episode 155: "Celebrity Makeup Artist & School - 1 Star Review"


*Please pardon any and all spelling errors!

[00:00:00] CHELSEY DONN: It's different than anything I've ever seen. I, it's a conundrum. I've never seen anything like this.

[00:00:05] TREY GERRALD: No.

[00:00:08] THEME SONG: Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:36] CHELSEY DONN: Hello,

[00:00:38] TREY GERRALD: and welcome listeners to Review That Review. We are the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing.

[00:00:46] CHELSEY DONN: Reviews,

[00:00:48] TREY GERRALD: That's Chelsey Donn.

[00:00:49] CHELSEY DONN: and that's Trey Gerald.

[00:00:51] TREY GERRALD: But together as an entity, we are,

[00:00:54] VOICEOVER: Review Queens,

[00:00:57] TREY GERRALD: Hey girl!

[00:00:58] CHELSEY DONN: Hi, we just got to jump right in, Trey. Let's give you the opportunity to,

[00:01:04] VOICEOVER: Lodge a complaint,

[00:01:06] TREY GERRALD: Okay, I'm gonna go with something that I have, had written down, but I've tried to space it out, because anytime I travel, there's a litany of,

[00:01:15] like, annoyances, so I don't want it to be, like, an entire month of just every complaint being about the airport, but,

[00:01:22] CHELSEY DONN: I relate.

[00:01:23] TREY GERRALD: today I'm gonna lodge a complaint. You know what?

[00:01:25] I can even zoom out further because it

[00:01:27] happens at grocery stores. It happens even at gas stations. I'm talking about when there's an infrastructure that's built, but there's not enough employees to work in those structures. So I'm talking about why do airports have 9 million TSA lanes, but they only have three open?

[00:01:42] Why do grocery stores have 15 checkout lanes, they only have three open? Why do gas stations have broken pumps with a little like plastic bag over the handle? I live in New Jersey, why do we have 19 lanes, but only 2 people to pump the gas? I'm sure it's the economy, I'm sure it's

[00:02:01] the cost to employ people, but really what is written on my paper, Closed TSA lanes.

[00:02:07] Why? Why? It is so expensive to fly, and it's so expensive to buy a candy bar at the airport, so

[00:02:15] CHELSEY DONN: expensive,

[00:02:16] TREY GERRALD: why do we have these giant, giant x ray TSA lanes that are built? They're there. But we're cramming all of these people, like, huge zig zag, snake ass lines, through two lanes, when we have football fields, of TSA lanes, that are just not, not, we're not going over there today, there's a little stanchion in the way, so you can't go that way, so you gotta go stand over here with Miss Johnny Rocket, who's acting brand new, like, they've never had to take their belt off, because the metal is gonna go off in the alarm, I can not handle it. It drives me crazy at checkout lanes, too. Like, why do you have 19 cash registers, but you've only scheduled four workers today? What good is this? I don't understand. Because even now in New York airports, you just scan your little phone and the little, like, glass doors open. TSA yells at you if you have your driver's license.

[00:03:11] We said phone only! We said ticket only! You don't need

[00:03:16] CHELSEY DONN: Take off your shoes, I don't want to have to tell you again,

[00:03:20] TREY GERRALD: I'm so sorry that I have been flying for years, and I don't know, I thought your identity mattered, I thought that because I have three I's at the end of my legal last name because I'm the third, I have the same legal name as my father and my dead grandfather, that my identity mattered, because sometimes they don't put the space between the D of Gerald and the three I's, and my ticket is scheduled for Gerald y.

[00:03:43] And they don't let me on the fuckin plane, did you know that? So I'm sorry that?

[00:03:46] you're mad at me that I have my driver's license out, Because it's so fucking important to you, Miss Delta Airline, That Gerald, comma, three, eyes, is not the same person as Gerald y, Because your fucking computer system doesn't understand the space, Now I'm in a separate complaint, but I gotta tell you, Then, In order to call the airline to change the ticket, I have to submit my birth certificate to prove that my legal name change, which isn't even a fucking legal name change, it's because your app doesn't understand the comma, and you ask for the surname! Wait, not the surname, the suffix.

[00:04:22] You ask for the fucking suffix! So, why doesn't your system understand the fucking space? My legal name has a comma in it. You can't tell me that commas, you can't use that character. This is, I'm, I'm in a tangent. I'm sorry.

[00:04:37] I got, that just makes me so angry. My name has a suffix.

[00:04:41] I have the same legal name. Why are you yelling at me to put my driver's license away? And there's 19 empty TSA lanes. I don't know. I'm all over the place.

[00:04:51] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my god, Trey. That was like a fourfer, at least. I think that was a four 

[00:04:57] TREY GERRALD: Well, I'm the only one. that gets annoyed at the airport. No one's ever in a bad mood there. Joyous

[00:05:03] CHELSEY DONN: everyone is their best self at the airport. Let's be real.

[00:05:06] TREY GERRALD: Can Walt Disney Company just re create every airport?

[00:05:10] Can they just do that for us? Can we pipe and cotton

[00:05:12] candy, please? Can anytime someone sees you they go, have a great day.

[00:05:18] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, 

[00:05:19] TREY GERRALD: That would be nice. 

[00:05:20] CHELSEY DONN: they'd be like, you look like you're sad. Here's a sticker. Do you want to be in the parade later? 

[00:05:25] TREY GERRALD: Exactly. Did we scare you? 

[00:05:27] CHELSEY DONN: we scare you?

[00:05:28] TREY GERRALD: Look, Mickey Mouse has fireworks shooting out of his index finger.

[00:05:31] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, you could be Goofy's special friend, you know, like then maybe I hear you there. Obviously, there's a lot to address in that because there were so many complaints, but they're all equally relatable. And I will say like where my mind goes, and maybe this is only because one time I did a Civil War science fiction musical called Futurity, but I'm really convinced.

[00:05:55] That like maybe the singularity is happening, guys. We're just gonna turn into machines because nobody wants to do the work. And so we're gonna have to get machines to do it. 

[00:06:06] TREY GERRALD: You know what? 

[00:06:07] CHELSEY DONN: we're gonna be taken over by robots, Trey. It's how they're coming for us.

[00:06:11] TREY GERRALD: People disappoint me. It's time for robots, okay? As long as they

[00:06:15] don't get a Y2K bug, we're fine.

[00:06:17] CHELSEY DONN: so if there was like a TSA robot that would like, was trained to like, literally beat the crap out of you if you tried to like, do any funny business, there were just machines that could automatically scan your shit to know with 1000 percent certainty that there's nothing of danger in your bag, 

[00:06:34] TREY GERRALD: Well, Chelsey, that's already happening. That's what Clear is. They literally scan your retina and take your thumbprints.

[00:06:40] CHELSEY DONN: and then they're like, I know that this person's not a criminal, like they 

[00:06:43] TREY GERRALD: do your background check, 

[00:06:44] CHELSEY DONN: like they're like, there's no criminal record, This person is like an upstanding citizen, 

[00:06:48] TREY GERRALD: well to be qualified, yeah, and then the x rays are already scanning all of our bags to make sure there's nothing dangerous, It's all dumb, I hate it, can we leave the airport, I'm mad, I don't know why I put us here, I apologize,

[00:07:00] we need, can we shake it off, 

[00:07:01] CHELSEY DONN: yeah, we 

[00:07:02] TREY GERRALD: I'm happy to be here with you,

[00:07:04] CHELSEY DONN: I'm happy to be here with you, 

[00:07:05] TREY GERRALD: alright, help me change the energy, I apologize,

[00:07:08] CHELSEY DONN: no, Trey, okay, do you want me to, do I need to pull out the Palo Santo?, because I will,

[00:07:13] TREY GERRALD: I want your review to change the whole energy, no pressure,

[00:07:16] CHELSEY DONN: No pressure. Okay. Well, I will do my best. Let's jump into that review. 

[00:07:20] TREY GERRALD: I believe in you.

[00:07:22] I don't want a robot co host, I want Chelsey Donn co

[00:07:25] CHELSEY DONN: Woo. I'm here. I'm here for you, Trey.

[00:07:29] VOICEOVER: Review That Review,

[00:07:33] CHELSEY DONN: As you know, we're your trusty review queens. We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

[00:07:40] TREY GERRALD: We select a review, we bring it in, we break it down, it's from the internet, and we rate the impact of that review on a scale from 0 to 5 crowns. It's a really regal process that we call.

[00:07:50] VOICEOVER: Assess That Kvetch,

[00:07:52] TREY GERRALD: That was a little all over the place, but it's fine,

[00:07:53] CHELSEY DONN: That was a little sloppy, but 

[00:07:55] TREY GERRALD: to say different words, 

[00:07:56] CHELSEY DONN: I know.

[00:07:57] TREY GERRALD: do it. I'm a robot, I'm trained to say

[00:07:59] CHELSEY DONN: I am a robot, yes.

[00:08:02] TREY GERRALD: So Chelsey, I gotta know, tell me, what Kvatch are we gonna assess today?

[00:08:05] CHELSEY DONN: So this is a one star review from Yelp for Kimberly Bosso, Celebrity Makeup Artist and Makeup School, 

[00:08:17] TREY GERRALD: Hmm. 

[00:08:18] CHELSEY DONN: Los Angeles. Overall 4. 5, pretty high, 124 reviews. They have a lot of claims, I'm not gonna get into the whole, like, they really give you a whole rigmarole for their, like, lead up into what they do, but they're like a Beverly Hills celebrity makeup artist and they claim to have worked with With Justin Bieber and Hilary Duff and Zac Efron and like a ton of designers like Ralph Lauren and the list goes on it's like a whole list of A list celebrities from men to women it's it's a very vast claim 

[00:08:57] TREY GERRALD: Well, when I think of makeup artistry,

[00:09:01] I think of the gorgeous palettes that are Justin Bieber and Zac Efron.

[00:09:05] CHELSEY DONN: right. Don't you? I know somebody, one of the reviews referenced that she said that she was Ariana Grande's makeup artist at one point. She's just, there's, she's making a lot of claims and like, I don't know, listen, I don't want to say their claims, maybe their truths, but there's definitely a lot happening here.

[00:09:23] I don't know that this review is going to give us any insight, but let's find, yeah, this is a one star review that is written by, in

[00:09:37] SanexSoul, first name in Sanex, last name Soul, okay, One Star Review, critical, and then it says colon professionalism, which I don't know if I've noticed that, like, in other reviews, but I guess that that's the issue here is the professionalism, I'm just bracing myself for this, but here we go,

[00:10:00] TREY GERRALD: Is there going to be a lot of caps?

[00:10:02] CHELSEY DONN: there's not a lot of caps.

[00:10:03] Oops, there's something else that I don't think we've ever come across, um, that's gonna be a little bit of a challenge, but here we go, we're gonna do it, it's gonna be okay, here we 

[00:10:11] TREY GERRALD: got it, insane. 

[00:10:12] CHELSEY DONN: got it, Insanex,

[00:10:14] TREY GERRALD: X.

[00:10:16] CHELSEY DONN: took my great, great, great, great, great, great, Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great!

[00:10:27] Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great!

[00:10:35] Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great! Great!

[00:10:41] Great! Great! Great great great great great great great great 

[00:10:51] TREY GERRALD: god. 

[00:10:52] CHELSEY DONN: great great great great

[00:11:02] TREY GERRALD: god. Are you counting girl? Chelsey's Beat Rad! No

[00:11:18] CHELSEY DONN: there's like three more rows

[00:11:21] TREY GERRALD: Oh my god

[00:11:22] CHELSEY DONN: greats, okay, I don't know how many more I could do, but just know there's five, ten rows of greats, okay,

[00:11:36] TREY GERRALD: Okay

[00:11:38] CHELSEY DONN: I told you this was a lot, all right,

[00:11:48] Great, great, great,

[00:11:51] TREY GERRALD: Oh my god

[00:11:55] CHELSEY DONN: great,

[00:12:02] grandma,

[00:12:08] Grandma

[00:12:12] there, and upon, Sorry, Upon arriving, I was greeted by Kimberly herself,

[00:12:27] TREY GERRALD: What's happening? What

[00:12:32] CHELSEY DONN: I'm gonna piss myself,

[00:12:38] okay, this is why I went to the bathroom right before we started, okay, upon arriving,

[00:12:45] TREY GERRALD: is happening?

[00:12:48] CHELSEY DONN: I'm sorry, I was greeted by Kimberly herself,

[00:12:53] TREY GERRALD: She was great! I

[00:13:00] CHELSEY DONN: I can do this, I can do it,

[00:13:04] TREY GERRALD: believe in you. What? What?

[00:13:06] CHELSEY DONN: we're gonna have to cut a lot of this, Patreon, 

[00:13:08] TREY GERRALD: What? Why is everyone throwing up? Who threw up? Kimberly or the grandma? Left. What?

[00:13:21] CHELSEY DONN: In front of me, and was so disgusted, we both left, never had this happen to me, and never again. So then, she called the cops on me,

[00:13:43] and was like, I't bet, I't bet, and then, And proceeded to vomit all over the officer, which was very traumatizing for me, which is why I am in the process of suing her. I don't know, Trey. I, I, it just doesn't make any sense. It just said I was arrived. Okay, now that I'm like better. I was greeted by Kimberly herself and vomited in front of me. So, and she vomited in front of me and was so disgusted. We both left. Never had this happen to me and never again. So she called the cops on me.

[00:14:41] What does it mean, Trey? What does it mean? Do you want me to send it to you? 

[00:14:46] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, I want to see all 

[00:14:47] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my God. That was a lot for me to get through. I hope that was okay to listen to. I'm sorry. I was really having a hard time there, but I've never read a review quite like this.

[00:14:56] TREY GERRALD: Wait, so, I'm understanding the username a little bit more.

[00:15:01] Well, I'm a little bit at a loss. Okay, let's see.

[00:15:09] CHELSEY DONN: You want to pull out the old rubric?

[00:15:10] TREY GERRALD: Let's see here. Oh my god, it's

[00:15:13] so many greats. 

[00:15:14] CHELSEY DONN: I know.

[00:15:16] TREY GERRALD: Why does it have eight thumbs up?

[00:15:18] CHELSEY DONN: I don't know. It's just, it's like so weird. I don't even like, you think that Kimberly was just sick and she was like projectile vomiting and these people were harassing her?

[00:15:29] TREY GERRALD: it's insane, the number of greats. I mean, it was insane hearing it, but also when you look at it, it's insane.

[00:15:34] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. Look at, so then she called the cops on me and was, what do you think that was supposed to say?

[00:15:39] TREY GERRALD: And was like, alright, bitch. Was,

[00:15:41] CHELSEY DONN: what I thought it was supposed to be. It was like, all right, bitch, and proceeded to vomit. But like, an ite bet?

[00:15:48] TREY GERRALD: Well, I can see that InsaneX has two reviews. There's one other review.

[00:15:53] I don't know what to make of this. Let's actually try to go, well, first of all, the first question I wrote down, So, since this is the gre gre gre grandma

[00:16:02] Unless, like, you're on one of those old, like, ASMR type keyboards, and its like, it got stuck,

[00:16:08] CHELSEY DONN: it got like stuck?

[00:16:10] TREY GERRALD: gre But, I don't know how, five letters, it gets, whatever, um, How old do you think the grandmother is?

[00:16:15] If she's that many great grandmas? Dead.

[00:16:19] CHELSEY DONN: centuries old. I mean,

[00:16:22] TREY GERRALD: She was on the Titanic. She

[00:16:24] CHELSEY DONN: right, like, she, no, she was like Eve, I don't know, 

[00:16:29] TREY GERRALD: Wait, maybe, maybe she's dead, and that's why Kimberly vomited, because she's not used to being a mortician makeup

[00:16:35] CHELSEY DONN: She's not used to seeing dead people come into her, her vicinity.

[00:16:40] TREY GERRALD: likes the blush. She doesn't like dead, pale skin. Can we try to go through the roster? I think it'll

[00:16:45] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my God. Okay. We'll try.

[00:16:47] TREY GERRALD: Are there any value, new, or unique information?

[00:16:52] CHELSEY DONN: The situation is so absurd.

[00:16:55] TREY GERRALD: Maybe Kimberly should you know how like makeup artists have those like makeup aprons Maybe they could have some of those paper throw up bags that you see in the airplanes

[00:17:03] CHELSEY DONN: In case Kimberly needs to puke.

[00:17:05] TREY GERRALD: case they're vomiting a lot You know the relationship between a makeup artist is very interesting because it's very intimate.

[00:17:11] It's very close So

[00:17:12] even if like your makeup artist had thrown up and you didn't see it, but You could smell it like the best makeup artists always have a can of Altoids for themselves and for you because

[00:17:21] if they're like working around your mouth and like they're like getting precision detail like

[00:17:26] CHELSEY DONN: Their breath is going to be on 

[00:17:27] TREY GERRALD: that's a yeah 

[00:17:29] CHELSEY DONN: this, this, like the way that they're making it sound like, first of all, I feel like we have to kind of immediately go to truthful shady. Spelling grammar is like messy, obviously. Truthful Shady, like, what is this doing on this page?

[00:17:44] TREY GERRALD: yeah how has it I mean, I don't know the process of getting reviews removed, but like,

[00:17:48] CHELSEY DONN: This feels like it should be in the, like, not recommended.

[00:17:51] TREY GERRALD: Like, if you were Kimberly, and this was on your page, would you just ignore it?

[00:17:57] Or would you reply to it with a question mark? Right.

[00:18:01] CHELSEY DONN: reply to it in, like, a weird, funny way, if it's just so ridiculous and it's not true, just to address it, or are you like, I have a 4. 5, I have to have, like, a negative review. No one's gonna believe a page that has You know, all five star reviews. If you're gonna have a one star review, something where the name of the person is InsaneXSoul and they write something that's so incoherent, it's like immediately gonna be dismissed by any person that's reading the reviews if it's surrounded by other positive reviews.

[00:18:35] Like, You're clearly going to look at this and be like, what are they even talking about? They're talking about her vomiting and like, not even like her makeup skills on her page. And then they, she called the cops. Well, maybe she called the cops because you sound a little crazy. Like, you know what I mean?

[00:18:50] I don't know. Maybe it's an inside job. I just feel like it's like a good one star review to have 

[00:18:56] TREY GERRALD: Oh, I think so too. 

[00:18:57] CHELSEY DONN: It's not a ding at all.

[00:18:59] TREY GERRALD: No, it only makes Insane X seem crazy,

[00:19:01] not Kimberly. 

[00:19:03] CHELSEY DONN: Like Kimberly, I think comes out smelling like daisies after this.

[00:19:07] TREY GERRALD: Your point earlier, like I've actually never seen this either, is like, under the one star,

[00:19:13] before the review, it says critical in bold, and they wrote professionalism, which seems like if I got vomited on, that doesn't seem professional. So, none of this is making any sense.

[00:19:25] CHELSEY DONN: It's not making sense.

[00:19:26] TREY GERRALD: I mean, the spelling grammar crazy we said, I don't know about the value, maybe bring Altoids, Truthful shady, it doesn't seem like there's any truth here, it

[00:19:35] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, I think it's shady. 

[00:19:37] TREY GERRALD: But how? It's like, it's, it's illiterate.

[00:19:40] CHELSEY DONN: you're right. I mean, I guess it's just shady because it's, it's weird. It's just like such a weird thing to be like, you puked and it was gross, you know?

[00:19:51] TREY GERRALD: think they're actually in the process of filing a legal action?

[00:19:55] I don't.

[00:19:56] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, what would the legal action be? Like, they wrongfully called the cops on me?

[00:20:01] TREY GERRALD: Can you even do that?

[00:20:02] CHELSEY DONN: I have no idea.

[00:20:04] TREY GERRALD: I don't know. Um, I laughed, I laughed watching you struggle. I think it is a first in the three years of watching, and you can't see this when you're listening obviously, but Chelsey preparing and then getting caught in the laughter, so there were so many, there were like multiple like, almost startings, and then like, getting caught up laughing and having to like, turn her

[00:20:25] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my god, I'm so 

[00:20:27] TREY GERRALD: many like, inhales, which is like, so fun. I was laughing, I was entertained. Do you think this would keep you from using Kimberly?

[00:20:34] CHELSEY DONN: This review alone, no. I don't, yeah, I think that this is like a typical example of, not to generalize, but like, the somewhat insane people on the internet that are just like, let me spend my Saturday this way. Writing this review,

[00:20:51] TREY GERRALD: there is like this little smidgen of like, ugh, uh, just thinking about Kim like now I'm gonna associate Kimberly with vomit, which is so random and

[00:20:58] CHELSEY DONN: but but that's what that's why I feel like it's kind of shady because it's like you are like It's not a positive thing. You're saying about Kimberly like you're shading her You're saying she's a puking like puke face like you're branding her in a certain way that even though I think that you're crazy, it's still like not exactly a flattering Vantage point,

[00:21:20] TREY GERRALD: right,

[00:21:21] yeah, no, you're, I mean, that's correct, I think I could crown

[00:21:24] CHELSEY DONN: All right, let's 

[00:21:25] TREY GERRALD: how do you feel? 

[00:21:26] CHELSEY DONN: I think I can crown them.

[00:21:27] TREY GERRALD: So, Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards, in an effort to be fair and not influence each other, we will simultaneously reveal our rating.

[00:21:36] VOICEOVER: The Queens are tabulating, Total Score,

[00:21:44] CHELSEY DONN: All right, interesting. So I'm holding up a half of a crown. Trey's holding up zero crowns. Trey, you go first. Why zero crowns for InsaneXSoul?

[00:21:57] TREY GERRALD: Have I ever done zero before?

[00:21:59] CHELSEY DONN: I don't know. I've done zero. I don't know if 

[00:22:01] TREY GERRALD: Well, I'm just saying zero because what is the point of customer reviews? Walking away with something, I would say is the point. I don't walk away with anything from this. I do think there's maybe a conspiracy, like, I like that angle. Maybe Kimberly's press team was like, we need some negatives, So we'll just do something crazy.

[00:22:22] Can't back that up, so I don't know. I don't even understand the point, like, I don't even get what Insane X was. If it was a hit piece, it's incoherent. So, also, like, How did you say great that many times? Also, it's about makeup. Like, there's no, nothing about the grandmother's

[00:22:41] makeup job. Also, in the critical bold, you're saying professional, but the police were, I have no, I can't follow the narrative.

[00:22:48] I don't get it. So I'm, I enjoyed watching you.

[00:22:51] um, struggle through to try to evoke

[00:22:55] CHELSEY DONN: I just, I try to stretch myself. It's been three years. So

[00:23:00] TREY GERRALD: But, but I would say this is going to close off Broadway because I don't think the writers gave you enough material.

[00:23:06] With their skilled actor, there's

[00:23:08] nothing there, you.

[00:23:09] know, so you shouldn't be blamed for that. I think they should be blamed.

[00:23:13] So, 

[00:23:13] CHELSEY DONN: you. 

[00:23:14] TREY GERRALD: I'm going to say zero crowns. Why did you do a half crown?

[00:23:17] CHELSEY DONN: I did the half crown, like, honestly, like, not for Insane X at all. Purely for the review as it stands that, like, it pulled me. Like, I was like, this is so weird that with three years of searching for reviews on the internet, I've never quite seen anything like this. And I feel like our job as Review Queens, as It's excruciating as that was for me to narrate and I hope it wasn't excruciating for you to listen to, but it's different than anything I've ever seen.

[00:23:46] It's a conundrum. I've never seen anything like this. So for that reason, half crown, just for like a uniqueness nod and the nine people that liked it and, and I guess just like took it on the sleeve as humor, sure, half crown, but obviously like nothing to do, leaving with. Like, it's like that Billy Madison thing, like, and I am now dumber for having listened to it.

[00:24:15] That's what 

[00:24:16] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, I feel that. 

[00:24:16] CHELSEY DONN: equivalent of, so I couldn't give more than a half crown, but thank you for indulging me, Trey, and um, I hope you feel better about the whole airport thing 

[00:24:26] TREY GERRALD: I do. I forgot already. Thank 

[00:24:28] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, good. There you go. So mission accomplished then.

[00:24:31] TREY GERRALD: Great job, Chelsey, and really great

[00:24:34] job in Saint Exupéry. 

[00:24:36] CHELSEY DONN: Thank you for that unique spin. All right, my queen. So we have reached the most regal portion of our show. Who are you inducting for?

[00:24:46] VOICEOVER: My Royal Highness,

[00:24:48] TREY GERRALD: So this is interesting, but speaking of makeup. Okay, I've for a long time. I have been a fan of the film showgirls

[00:24:57] and somehow over the past week. Oh, it's because I found a YouTube video where the director Paul Verhoeven and Gina Gershon. Let a Q& A before screening the film in New York like several months ago And so I watched it because famously Elizabeth Berkley and Gina Gershon will not publicly speak about the film It's like in the writer that when they're being

[00:25:20] interviewed like they'll answer a softball question one and then like we just don't go there

[00:25:25] So, I wanna just take a moment, and I want to induct Elizabeth Berkley, who played the lead, Nomi Malone.

[00:25:33] Now, if you are listening to this and you have never seen Showgirls, I would implore you to take a breath and watch it. The brief recap is, it's like a Faustian bargain. A girl, what is she willing to give up to be a star? That's like the basic plot.

[00:25:50] It was critically panned. It was rated NC 17 because it's like the most nudity you've ever seen.

[00:25:57] And,

[00:25:58] um, Over the course of time, has become a cult classic, right? Especially very popular in the LGBTQ plus community. So, in 2015, they screened the film in the cemetery in Los Angeles.

[00:26:11] CHELSEY DONN: Oh yeah, the um, Hollywood Forever, Sin Sinespia, Hollywood Forever. Yeah. 

[00:26:18] TREY GERRALD: So, and it sold out, it was more than 4, 000 people, and in 2015, it was, ironically, the day that marriage equality passed, federally, in the United States of America, ironically, and Elizabeth Berkley introduced the film,

[00:26:32] and you can go on YouTube, and you can watch it, it was the first time, so that was 20 years later, came out in

[00:26:38] 95, and in 2015, and what was interesting about that speech that she gives, when you look back at the film, Elizabeth Berkley was 21 years old, she was off of, like, a 10

[00:26:49] seasons of a children's TV show

[00:26:52] and the thing is is that she was very criticized for the performance because it's incredibly earnest and uncomfortably committed and it's so heightened the entire film is but what ended up happening is Paul Verhoeven continued to be an acclaimed director and the person that got blamed and blacklisted and dropped by her acting agents Was Elizabeth Berkley.

[00:27:15] She was the one that was punished for the film, which literally makes no fucking sense to me. And in 2015, you know, she, I would implore you to watch the speech. She talks about how she took a risk, and risks were not rewarded then, especially a woman.

[00:27:31] CHELSEY DONN: Mmm.

[00:27:31] TREY GERRALD: So, months ago in March, the Academy, aka the Oscars Museum, Did a screening of Showgirls

[00:27:39] in 2024 under the banner of publicity and the power of publicity and filmmaking and they chose Showgirls.

[00:27:48] So Elizabeth Berkley, this is like a couple of months ago, gave a speech. So she returned to intro the film and she does a little bit of a Q& A and it's even more interesting because she gets very emotional and she acknowledges like the journey she had to go on to be publicly humiliated and. shamed for following direction and being overly committed to stakes which is like your job as an actor you like do the job you're told and how even Gina Grishan is celebrated in the movie but she was reviled by the world and it ruined her career she talks about going back to acting class after starring in this

[00:28:28] like giant film Anyway, I would implore you to watch it.

[00:28:32] It is like you can have, you can draw your own conclusions about if it's a good film or not, whatever, but I, I just want to induct Elizabeth Berkley because it's a fascinating story and she has, she says in that recent speech, the journey of time is a wonderful thing and stay heartened to what can happen in life. Over time and nothing is always the same. And I found that to be a really beautiful sort of message as an actor, as an artist, as a human, like the circumstances of your life can always go on to change. And I was very inspired by that. So I would implore you make your own opinions about showgirls. It is a camp classic and whatever, but I think it's very interesting.

[00:29:12] And it's sort of the whole story within the story of showgirls is like men. Manipulating women and blaming the women for going outside of what society deems is a woman's right, and Nomi's wants in her life and Elizabeth Berkley's wants in her life, but then the men behind it who told her what to do, are celebrated but she's kicked out is insane so I want to induct Elizabeth Berkley I hope that we continue to be on this path where she gets a redemption because it's so unfair and I love Doggie Chow and I love you Elizabeth Berkley I'm from different places as well and it is strange to not have someone come on you so you For all of those reasons, I induct you, Elizabeth Berkley, in the tenacity of your human spirit.

[00:30:02] That's why you are my Royal Highness.

[00:30:06] CHELSEY DONN: That was quite an offering. Elizabeth, if you're listening to this, please come on the show. We would love to talk to you. As the Review Queens, we love nothing more than being able to shut down the haters and I think you're somebody who obviously has learned that lesson the hard way and Bye. Bye. And chooses to live their life in a way of passing on this message that it's not as horrible as it might seem and we can survive these haters and Trey and I obviously really relate to that.

[00:30:33] So, Elizabeth Berkley, we would love to have you on the show. Have your people call our people or call us at 1 850 REVIEW ZERO. We 

[00:30:41] TREY GERRALD: Well, we did

[00:30:41] it, Queen. That is

[00:30:42] another round on the R U A R Q Ferris Wheel of Great.

[00:30:47] CHELSEY DONN: Thank you for joining us today. We hope you had a great time here with us. And please, if you did have a great time, tell a friend.

[00:30:55] TREY GERRALD: If you did not like what you heard, great, tell an enemy. On this week's After Show Pod, Chelsey, you and I are going to rate and review a one star Yelp review for the Holiday Inn.

[00:31:07] CHELSEY DONN: Mmm, Hotel Motel, I wonder why this was said, If you're like a shady bitch, just be a shady bitch,

[00:31:19] TREY GERRALD: Hmm, me too. Great Scott, I wonder that.

[00:31:23] Great question. Please remember,

[00:31:27] CHELSEY DONN: ignore the haters, you're great, you're a queen, you're descendants of great, great, great, great, great, great queens.

[00:31:35] TREY GERRALD: great to the third degree. Gender not specific, Queen, of course.

[00:31:39] Bye.

[00:31:43] VOICEOVER: Sign up directly on Apple Podcast to hear our weekly members only after show. Unlock additional benefits when you become a Patreon slash patreon. Follow us on all the socials at the review queens and join our mailing Our kvetch line is open 24 7 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.

[00:32:01] You never visit, you never write. Give us a call now.

[00:32:06] TREY GERRALD: You've seen Showgirls, yes.

[00:32:08] CHELSEY DONN: I haven't. In fact, we talked about this. We said we were going to do a Patreon joined viewing of it, which I really think we should do.

[00:32:16] TREY GERRALD: I really cannot believe you've never seen You've seen, like, moments

[00:32:19] CHELSEY DONN: Clips of from it. Yes. But I, I do want to see it as I, I don't know why I always forget to see it, but I definitely want to see it.

[00:32:27] TREY GERRALD: It's also a long, it's like, not a shorty.

[00:32:30] CHELSEY DONN: But it's just feels like something like a rite of passage, you know, like I have to see it.

[00:32:35] TREY GERRALD: It is exceedingly graphic.

[00:32:38] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. I'll 

[00:32:39] TREY GERRALD: Like, you actually see Vulva. Like, you actually see

[00:32:43] Like, it is exceedingly graphic.

[00:32:45] Yes. You see Anus. like. you see At all.

[00:32:51] CHELSEY DONN: I'll prepare myself accordingly.

[00:32:55] TREY GERRALD: Oh, yeah, we have to watch a

[00:32:56] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. 

[00:32:56] TREY GERRALD: All right. We Love you guys. See you. Friday. 

[00:32:58] CHELSEY DONN: Bye.

[00:33:00] TREY GERRALD: Great.

[00:33:00] CHELSEY DONN: Great.

[00:33:01] TREY GERRALD: Let's just say it a bunch of times over and over and over and it'll just end. You

[00:33:05] ready? Great. great. Great. Great. Great. Great, great. Great.

[00:33:07] great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great. great, great.

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.



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