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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 158: "Hollywood Bowl - 5 Star Review"

Review That Review with Chelsey & Trey
Episode 158: "Hollywood Bowl - 5 Star Review"


*Please pardon any and all spelling errors!

[00:00:00] CHELSEY DONN: Small quick tangent that I just want to talk about and address quickly, quickly, quickly, Speaking of nerds, Trey, you did me dirty on the editing of the episode, you really, I don't know if you guys will listen, It's several episodes back at this point, 

[00:00:15] TREY GERRALD: it's the Calculator episode!

[00:00:19] THEME SONG: Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:48] CHELSEY DONN: hello,

[00:00:50] TREY GERRALD: and hello, listeners. Welcome to Review That Review. We are the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing.

[00:00:59] CHELSEY DONN: Reviews! And that's

[00:01:01] TREY GERRALD: That's Chelsey Donn.

[00:01:03] CHELSEY DONN: Trey Gerrald!

[00:01:05] TREY GERRALD: And together as an entity, we are

[00:01:08] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens,

[00:01:11] CHELSEY DONN: But Trey, first, before we get started, I gotta know, you want to let something off your chest? It is Time Queen, too, Is that cool?

[00:01:19] VOICEOVER: Ledge a complaint,

[00:01:20] TREY GERRALD: Why Thank You. First, how often do you use a calculator?

[00:01:24] CHELSEY DONN: Like with some regularity.

[00:01:26] TREY GERRALD: But do you use the one on your iPhone?

[00:01:28] CHELSEY DONN: Yes. 

[00:01:29] TREY GERRALD: Okay, so it's different on the iPhone. So I'm talking about standard like 3D calculators that exist in

[00:01:36] TREY GERRALD: the world. 

[00:01:37] CHELSEY DONN: haven't got having used one of those in a long time.

[00:01:40] TREY GERRALD: Okay, well, maybe you'll have a memory of this.

[00:01:43] TREY GERRALD: So at my place of employment, I have to use a printing calculator where it's like the spool of paper and it prints, right?

[00:01:51] TREY GERRALD: Today, I need to lodge a complaint against why do these calculators have two different clear buttons where one It's a C and one is a C E and if I just like accidentally put the decimal in the wrong place or oh Oh, no, my fat finger push seven and I meant to push three. I don't know which one deletes Everything and which one deletes?

[00:02:12] TREY GERRALD: Oh, no the little typo I just did no matter how many times I've ever been in the situation where I'm like shit I don't retain which one from the previous time, and they're even different colors. So I could just be like, okay, I have to remember that this red one means this, and this one means

[00:02:28] TREY GERRALD: this. One is like a backspace in

[00:02:30] TREY GERRALD: terms of a typing keyboard, like, oh, this is erasing an error,

[00:02:35] TREY GERRALD: versus clearing all.

[00:02:37] TREY GERRALD: Like it could, it could be C A. I don't know the difference between CE

[00:02:41] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, I feel like B, backspace, right? Like that makes more sense. Can

[00:02:45] TREY GERRALD: can we, can we like, get a little clarity on that?

[00:02:48] TREY GERRALD: So, 

[00:02:48] CHELSEY DONN: get a little clarity on the clarity?

[00:02:51] TREY GERRALD: Googled really quick

[00:02:52] TREY GERRALD: before we recorded because I wanted to see if it's, if it's like that on the iPhone and it's not. So then I was like, okay, what is, what are the clear buttons? So, I found out. CE means clear entry.

[00:03:04] TREY GERRALD: And C means clear So I, no, no, it just says clear. So I don't know which one means what, which one is the entry? Because they're all an entry. So is C E erasing your most previous entry?

[00:03:18] TREY GERRALD: And C is clear. Like, don't you think it would be clear all?

[00:03:22] TREY GERRALD: Like that seems, that seems more clear.

[00:03:25] TREY GERRALD: So why wouldn't it, why wouldn't it be? Like, oh, clear versus clear all instead of clear entry and clear. I don't know. I know it's a little like niche cause not everyone is typing on calculators and also like tax season has passed, but obviously people use calculators a lot with taxes and when you're adding up figures. So when you have like 17 entries deep and then you like make a little error and it's like, if I choose the wrong path,

[00:03:53] CHELSEY DONN: yep,

[00:03:54] TREY GERRALD: It gives me so much agita.

[00:03:55] TREY GERRALD: I don't even really know how to verbalize it succinctly, but that's my complaint today.

[00:03:59] TREY GERRALD: Whoever is in charge of calculators,

[00:04:01] TREY GERRALD: I don't know, like, is it,

[00:04:03] TREY GERRALD: like, Malcolm Calculator? Like, did your great great great grandfather come up with this? Was it like the beads thing back in the day? Like, can we just fix it so that I don't

[00:04:12] TREY GERRALD: end up 

[00:04:13] CHELSEY DONN: Sigmund 

[00:04:14] TREY GERRALD: all my work? 

[00:04:15] CHELSEY DONN: it might have been Sigmund,

[00:04:16] TREY GERRALD: that's my complaint. 

[00:04:17] CHELSEY DONN: I hear you, I think that the way we could make this a little bit more universal is really just to say anytime you are using a calculator and then you accidentally enter the wrong number or you accidentally press the clear button or back, so like whatever it is. Now you gotta start 

[00:04:35] TREY GERRALD: Yes, I hate 

[00:04:36] CHELSEY DONN: It's so annoying. It happens to me with some regularity.

[00:04:40] TREY GERRALD: Anyone out there listening, help me understand in better terms than Google, what's the difference between C E and C E and why do I always get it wrong?

[00:04:47] TREY GERRALD: Thank you. 

[00:04:48] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, Annoying, added to the ledger, Trey. That felt like a lot of math for the top of the show. Should we make some other calculations?

[00:04:58] TREY GERRALD: I'm ready, yeah, should we?

[00:05:00] CHELSEY DONN: All right, let's do it.

[00:05:01] TREY GERRALD: Let's do it!

[00:05:05] VOICEOVER: Review That Review,

[00:05:09] CHELSEY DONN: As your trusty Review Queens, we bring in internet reviews that we feel need to be inspected.

[00:05:15] TREY GERRALD: We're gonna read you a review, break it down together, rate the impact of that review on a scale from zero to five, crowns. It's a very regal process, bursting the seams with regality, and we call

[00:05:28] VOICEOVER: Assess That Kvetch,

[00:05:30] CHELSEY DONN: That's right.

[00:05:31] TREY GERRALD: Chelsey, it's your week, baby. So, what have you got?

[00:05:34] CHELSEY DONN: Well, it's June, you know, it's my birthday month, and I think you know this about me, Trey, but there's a couple things I like to do for my birthday every year as like traditions, if I can, God willing. Do you know 

[00:05:46] TREY GERRALD: Let me guess. You like to see a game. You like to go to a sports arena.

[00:05:53] CHELSEY DONN: Which one do you know? It's good that you even knew that.

[00:05:56] TREY GERRALD: Well, I think it's like a baseball thing, right?

[00:05:59] TREY GERRALD: So, I'm guessing it's But you live in Los An The Dodgers. Is

[00:06:02] CHELSEY DONN: yes, so I always go to a Dodgers game, and then I always 

[00:06:05] TREY GERRALD: And you always go to I think it's in the hills, the, the, what is that park? Griffith Park? No. Ajai?

[00:06:16] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, hi, I did that one year for my birthday, good memory,

[00:06:18] TREY GERRALD: Wait, you go, oh, to the Ren Fair?

[00:06:21] CHELSEY DONN: no, that's Morgan's birthday, but also good guess,

[00:06:24] TREY GERRALD: Wait, but you go up, so you go, oh, you go, oh, you go to, um,

[00:06:31] TREY GERRALD: upstate.

[00:06:32] TREY GERRALD: I don't know. You go to Disney. Oh, you love going to Disney.

[00:06:34] CHELSEY DONN: no,

[00:06:35] TREY GERRALD: Canada?

[00:06:37] TREY GERRALD: You go to 

[00:06:37] CHELSEY DONN: I'll give you a hint, I'll give you a hint, it's in LA, and it's a 

[00:06:41] TREY GERRALD: Oh, the Hollywood 

[00:06:42] CHELSEY DONN: yes, Babe, good job, so I was realizing, Trey, we've never

[00:06:48] CHELSEY DONN: done a review of the Hollywood Bowl, Can you believe it, in all the years,

[00:06:52] TREY GERRALD: I've never been.

[00:06:53] CHELSEY DONN: You've never been!

[00:06:55] TREY GERRALD: No.

[00:06:56] CHELSEY DONN: We gotta go, Trey. It's imperative. I like I'm gonna make it actually one of my birthday goals that like within the year we go to a Hollywood Bowl show.

[00:07:03] CHELSEY DONN: We're gonna have to just make that happen. Anyway, this is the Hollywood Bowl. This is Yelp. This review was written by Rebecca H., who I would like to point out, is not an elite reviewer. No offense, Rebecca. All right, this is a five star review because I just couldn't. You know, I couldn't go low

[00:07:22] TREY GERRALD: go into the 

[00:07:22] CHELSEY DONN: with my beloved. So this is Rebecca H's five star review of the Hollywood Bowl. I have been to the Hollywood Bowl dozens of times. Whether you enjoy your visit depends on the people you're seated with, and of course, the performance. I will give you some logistical tips to make your experience more enjoyable. For the love of Jesus. Take a park and ride bus or shuttle, round trip tickets are 5 online and 10 at the lot. Their website has information about all the lots in the Los Angeles area. The buses take you right up to the entrance after the show. You get on the bus and it leaves about 20 to 30 minutes after the end of the performance.

[00:08:14] CHELSEY DONN: So easy. Your stupid open picnic basket. May have been cute in the crate and barrel catalog, But you're gonna be hating life if you have to schlep that monstrosity up the stairs and through the aisles to your seat. I recommend a backpack with an ice pack in it. If you forget your corkscrew, don't worry, there will be thousands of corkscrews available for you to borrow. Don't pack that bag too tight, though. There's a security search upon entry. I guess they're looking for guns and severed heads because they sure don't care about alcohol. Bring an empty plastic bag with you to make trash disposal easier.

[00:09:02] CHELSEY DONN: Leave the glasses and flutes at home and use plastic cups. If you're seated in the benches, you can rent a cushion for 1. My behind has never been bothered by hardwood, but yours might be.

[00:09:19] TREY GERRALD: That's

[00:09:24] CHELSEY DONN: Hollywood Bowl, the more fun the people are. By the final row, people couldn't care less who's on stage, Pass the Vodka!,

[00:09:34] TREY GERRALD: funny.

[00:09:35] CHELSEY DONN: always bring a nice warm jacket, Temperatures drop dramatically once the sun dips behind the hills,

[00:09:44] TREY GERRALD: Oh, yes.

[00:09:47] CHELSEY DONN: My two fondest memories of the Bowl include, Getting drunk on a bottle of Riesling and crying, While Dolly Parton sang, Coat of Many Colors,

[00:10:01] CHELSEY DONN: Another time while the audience was waiting for a show to start. A hawk

[00:10:08] CHELSEY DONN: carrying a 

[00:10:09] TREY GERRALD: No. No! 

[00:10:11] CHELSEY DONN: its talons swooped up the amphitheater, not three feet above the audience's heads.

[00:10:20] CHELSEY DONN: The collective gasp of horror was something I will never forget. The hawk. Must have told its hawk buddies in the trees.

[00:10:34] CHELSEY DONN: Hey, watch this.

[00:10:38] TREY GERRALD: What about the rat?

[00:10:40] CHELSEY DONN: I know, it took such a sad turn at the end.

[00:10:44] TREY GERRALD: Do you think it's dead?

[00:10:45] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, I think once it's in the talons.

[00:10:49] TREY GERRALD: Wow, well,

[00:10:50] TREY GERRALD: otherwise, I 

[00:10:51] CHELSEY DONN: like a moment of silence for the cat?

[00:10:53] TREY GERRALD: I would like to

[00:10:54] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, uh, let's just 

[00:10:56] TREY GERRALD: I do think that that is, you know, it is nature. That's part of life. Everyone knows.

[00:11:00] CHELSEY DONN: I I I It's a joke. It's a joke. I mean, it's not a joke. It I believe that it really happened, but I feel like the reason for including it. I want you to talk about why you think Rebecca included that.

[00:11:12] TREY GERRALD: That's a good question. I mean, I guess maybe she's, Playing it up as a little bit of humorous and we went very dark with it.

[00:11:18] TREY GERRALD: But it's very clear that Rebecca, I think Rebecca should be an elite. I don't know their

[00:11:22] TREY GERRALD: number of reviews. I don't know. This is maybe one of the most helpful reviews we've ever covered on the,

[00:11:27] CHELSEY DONN: I'm actually agree. And I'm actually sort of shocked that they're not because they've written at this point 244 reviews. Well, no. Yep. 244 

[00:11:38] TREY GERRALD: there pictures, 

[00:11:39] CHELSEY DONN: shocked that they're not because they've written at this point 244 reviews and 114 photos.

[00:11:43] TREY GERRALD: but is there a picture on this?

[00:11:44] CHELSEY DONN: No pictures on this. 

[00:11:45] TREY GERRALD: I wish that if Rebecca had attached a picture,

[00:11:48] TREY GERRALD: like a shitty zoomed in picture of Dolly

[00:11:52] CHELSEY DONN: of Dolly Parton.

[00:11:54] TREY GERRALD: have aced it. 

[00:11:54] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah,

[00:11:55] TREY GERRALD: She's still kind of acing,

[00:11:56] CHELSEY DONN: she's slaying in my opinion.

[00:11:58] TREY GERRALD: I thought it was so funny because something to clarify here is that I don't really know what the Hollywood Bowl is but I do know that they went there on the first season of The Girls Next Door and I also know that lots of Broadway shows will be performed at the

[00:12:12] TREY GERRALD: Hollywood Bowl by like 

[00:12:13] CHELSEY DONN: a lot. They're so fun. Yeah,

[00:12:15] TREY GERRALD: but now hearing that Dolly Parton is there I'm assuming it's just an outdoor music venue like did Beyonce play the Hollywood Bowl or is it not big enough?

[00:12:22] CHELSEY DONN: maybe in like 30 years like a lot of like older like

[00:12:28] CHELSEY DONN: You know what I mean? Like I've seen Diana Ross,

[00:12:32] CHELSEY DONN: you know what I'm saying? I mean, not that you have to be old. I mean, you could also see, like, Fish plays at the Hollywood Bowl. Dave Matthews will play the Hollywood Bowl. I've seen so many performers.

[00:12:43] CHELSEY DONN: I've seen Stevie Wonder at the Hollywood Bowl. I 

[00:12:46] TREY GERRALD: And then it's like, Hairspray, the

[00:12:48] CHELSEY DONN: then also it's Hairspray the Musical, and then also it's Tchaikovsky, and then also it's Pixar Night. It's all about the, the sound quality at the Hollywood Bowl. The amphitheater is insane.

[00:12:58] TREY GERRALD: Right. So it is an amphitheater.

[00:13:00] CHELSEY DONN: Yes, and an outdoor amphitheater, and then nine times out of ten, the orchestra will join.

[00:13:06] CHELSEY DONN: So if it's like that artist, they're being filled in by the philharmonic, which 

[00:13:11] TREY GERRALD: Oh, that's cool. 

[00:13:12] CHELSEY DONN: stunning, and it's a spectacle for sure. My favorite thing is that you have to be out of there by 11.

[00:13:18] TREY GERRALD: Ooh, that's 

[00:13:19] CHELSEY DONN: I think you would like that too. Isn't that a great role? Because it's the show's always the perfect one.

[00:13:23] TREY GERRALD: Well, you know Madonna would never play there because she's notoriously two hours late.

[00:13:27] CHELSEY DONN: Yes. No, no, you can't. You're starting on time.

[00:13:30] TREY GERRALD: Wait, there is one of the most thrilling YouTube videos,

[00:13:34] TREY GERRALD: this is a Deep cut.

[00:13:35] TREY GERRALD: of when they did a chorus line at the Hollywood Bowl of Mara Davi singing. What is that song? At the Ballet!

[00:13:44] CHELSEY DONN: At the 

[00:13:45] TREY GERRALD: At the ballet.

[00:13:47] TREY GERRALD: At the Ballet! At the Ballet! is the most thrilling.

[00:13:53] TREY GERRALD: Listeners, if you're driving, pull over. Literally Google Mara, M A R A, Davi, D A V I, At the Ballet, Hollywood Bowl. Your body will

[00:14:03] CHELSEY DONN: Pause this and then come back. Let us know what you think. 1 850 REVIEW ZERO.

[00:14:08] TREY GERRALD: that long tangent to say I

[00:14:09] TREY GERRALD: thought it was very humorous up top to say your experience will depend on whatever it is that you're seeing. So that makes more sense. And also who you're seated with, which

[00:14:19] TREY GERRALD: I thought was very funny because notoriously, I have ruined a couple of Broadway shows for David, because if

[00:14:25] TREY GERRALD: I'm not into something, I can really, really not Be a good person. And then I also thought it was a funny turn to say for the love of Jesus. That, that clued me in that she's taking us on a humorous path,

[00:14:38] TREY GERRALD: because obviously the phrase is for the love of God. You're twisting my ear a little bit and

[00:14:42] CHELSEY DONN: Yes.

[00:14:43] TREY GERRALD: thought, kudos to you, Rebecca. Oh, when was this written? What year?

[00:14:47] CHELSEY DONN: I was looking at just five stars, admittedly. It was written in July of 2012.

[00:14:52] TREY GERRALD: Okay. Cause I can guarantee you these park and rides are probably at least double the price

[00:14:56] CHELSEY DONN: Not really. Like they're still pretty cheap and it's still the way to go.

[00:15:01] TREY GERRALD: So that blew my mind. That whole, cause it would have never occurred to me.

[00:15:05] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, she is giving you the insider tips. Like some of these tips, I just want to say as a quick side note without like too much insider baseball, I had to like learn the long way. Like, I figured all this stuff out, but, like, not on the first try.

[00:15:19] CHELSEY DONN: So, Rebecca's really giving you, like, the hot tea. Like, even the backpack was, I was like, genius. Like, I've never done that, and the end of the night, I'm always like, Oh my God, I'm schlepping. Just so you listeners and you Trey know, The Hollywood Bowl is unique because you can bring alcohol in.

[00:15:35] TREY GERRALD: So that was my next point. Yes. Keep

[00:15:37] CHELSEY DONN: You could bring food in.

[00:15:39] CHELSEY DONN: So a lot of people will go super early, like two hours early, you bring a whole like picnic setup, you bring alcohol, you bring whatever you want and you watch this show outside and it's gorgeous. At first, like during the light, you can see the Hollywood sign and you're like noshing, you're noshing at your bench seat while you're watching in this amazing amphitheater and then this light, the sun goes down and like, oh, it's a magical place, but there's a lot of great tips here.

[00:16:06] TREY GERRALD: Well, you're wrong about one thing. You can't bring anything because they must be looking for severed heads.

[00:16:12] CHELSEY DONN: Right. You cannot bring guns, you do, but that makes me feel safer. There's like a pretty serious like metal detector and they're looking through your bags. And like Rebecca says, they're not looking at first. I was like, Oh no, is this bad? Like I have like wine or something.

[00:16:27] TREY GERRALD: Well, that's what I was. Yes,

[00:16:29] TREY GERRALD: very valuable. 

[00:16:30] CHELSEY DONN: But then it was like, no, they're not looking for that.

[00:16:32] CHELSEY DONN: They're looking to like make, keep us safe.

[00:16:35] TREY GERRALD: I wonder if Rebecca has a TikTok now because all of this could be like nine TikToks, like of hacks, like

[00:16:41] TREY GERRALD: bringing your own trash bag. So you don't have to like,

[00:16:44] TREY GERRALD: I mean, queen.

[00:16:46] CHELSEY DONN: queen. She's a queen. She's 

[00:16:48] TREY GERRALD: Also, her behind has always loved hardwood. Hilarious.

[00:16:53] CHELSEY DONN: But that's also like a great tip, like yeah, for like a dollar, I think it's still like a dollar, you can get a cushion,

[00:16:59] TREY GERRALD: it's your renting

[00:17:00] CHELSEY DONN: you're renting it, and then at the end of the show, you just leave it there, and they come and collect it,

[00:17:05] TREY GERRALD: Also, the whole Crate and Barrel picnic basket. God, I love Crate and Barrel.

[00:17:09] CHELSEY DONN: I love Crate 

[00:17:10] TREY GERRALD: is such a dreamy store. I love. And then the last little piece here, the more fun people are, the higher up you go, which seems just so funny to

[00:17:19] CHELSEY DONN: and it's also like a good point just about the venue in general, cause that's another thing is, you could sit anywhere,

[00:17:26] TREY GERRALD: Oh, it's not? It's just general omission?

[00:17:27] CHELSEY DONN: No, no, no, you can't, sorry, you can buy the cheap seats. It's not like in other situations where you buy the cheap seats and you're like, oh shit, I'm in the cheap seats. It's a gorgeous view from wherever you are and the higher up you are, you're probably more likely to run into people that are like, I just bought these last minute, oh my god, I'm so excited to be here.

[00:17:46] CHELSEY DONN: Like, that's the vibe. Let's have a good time.

[00:17:49] TREY GERRALD: Because what I'm hearing is that the Hollywood Bowl is an institution in itself, so regardless, which Rebecca mentions in the very top, and you also mentioned, the variety of acts that they book,

[00:18:00] CHELSEY DONN: yeah,

[00:18:01] TREY GERRALD: You can go for the experience and just be like, well, I don't really know much about fish, but

[00:18:04] TREY GERRALD: like I know it'll be a colorful crowd.

[00:18:06] CHELSEY DONN: Exactly. Like I don't even like fish. I got invited to a concert for free and like, I loved that concert. Like it was so fun.

[00:18:12] TREY GERRALD: Also, just, um, for a personal reason, if, if my husband, David Perlman is listening, Rebecca points out that once it gets later in the day, it gets colder. Just all,

[00:18:22] TREY GERRALD: all I'm going to say, that's 

[00:18:23] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, that's a side thing for you guys. It gets like actually very cold when the 

[00:18:27] TREY GERRALD: Would you say that it always gets colder? Or would you say it generally gets colder?

[00:18:32] TREY GERRALD: Choose wisely. 

[00:18:34] CHELSEY DONN: I have a very definitive opinion on this and you know that I'm usually on your side, but I'm sensing that on this, I'm on Trey's. 100 percent of the time the temperature drops when the sun goes down. This is a scientific fact.

[00:18:48] TREY GERRALD: Thank you. Alright, well, I mean, we've really gone through a bunch of these points here because it's exceedingly valuable. It's like, valuable. It's like, dripping with

[00:18:55] CHELSEY DONN: It's dripping with value. Like, like really good value.

[00:18:58] TREY GERRALD: And it's like, as diverse as the booking schedule at the Hollywood Bowl. It's like, Do the park and ride, bring a trash bag for yourself, you can have alcohol, don't bring glass, don't be silly, bring some plastic cups, if you forget a corkscrew, don't let it ruin

[00:19:11] TREY GERRALD: the night, there's 800 million in the venue.

[00:19:14] TREY GERRALD: What about the spelling grammar?

[00:19:15] CHELSEY DONN: Great. Intentional. Spell check.

[00:19:19] TREY GERRALD: Okay, good. 

[00:19:19] CHELSEY DONN: Is it shady? I mean, obviously it's 

[00:19:23] TREY GERRALD: for the cat, 

[00:19:24] CHELSEY DONN: The cat. I mean, I do want to just point out because I was like listening to a previous episode of ours that aired and you said this and I'm like, I think it's important for us to say, you know, sometimes these things sound more serious when we're reading them out loud versus when you're just reading it on the page.

[00:19:39] CHELSEY DONN: I think that's an important 

[00:19:41] TREY GERRALD: oh that's interesting. 

[00:19:41] CHELSEY DONN: I don't really want to ding Rebecca too much for that because I think hearing out loud like this cat and this thing, it feels very like, whoa. But when you're looking at the review itself, it's such a like small end thing. And it's clear that they're like, this was a crazy thing that we're seeing that obviously you're going to remember forever.

[00:20:01] CHELSEY DONN: So I do think things sound harsher.

[00:20:04] TREY GERRALD: For sure, and the

[00:20:05] TREY GERRALD: sentence right before this is crying at Dolly Parton drunk on Riesling.

[00:20:09] CHELSEY DONN: Yes, exactly. You said ew and I thought ew. I cannot with the Riesling. It's like a hangover guarantee.

[00:20:16] TREY GERRALD: Like, yeah, any sort of wine, hang on, like, drunk feels a

[00:20:21] CHELSEY DONN: I love a champagne drunk. Don't get me wrong.

[00:20:24] TREY GERRALD: you literally just took that out of my mouth, cause,

[00:20:26] TREY GERRALD: no, no. The only thing worse than wine drunk is champagne drunk, for me,

[00:20:32] TREY GERRALD: in my opinion, Because?

[00:20:34] TREY GERRALD: I'll always get a headache.

[00:20:36] CHELSEY DONN: Maybe, I mean, I get headaches a lot, so I guess I should pay attention, but I just enjoy the drunk of it. Like a champagne drunk is 

[00:20:43] TREY GERRALD: Oh, that's really interesting. That, I'm glad you say that, because it is so repulsive to me. Like,

[00:20:47] TREY GERRALD: this is actually not being funny. When people are drinking champagne, I lose sight of people have different opinions in the world, because it's such a turn off for my

[00:20:56] CHELSEY DONN: Shut up. Really?

[00:20:58] TREY GERRALD: be, uh, you know, Chemical thing in my body, but it is so unpleasant

[00:21:02] TREY GERRALD: and it happens so quickly that even when we get like a free complimentary champagne or something at dinner, like I'll take two sips and be done because it gives me a headache.

[00:21:10] TREY GERRALD: I get drunk really fast and it doesn't last as long.

[00:21:14] TREY GERRALD: So that's for me, my body

[00:21:16] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. That must just be the way you react.

[00:21:18] TREY GERRALD: you really just pointed that out to me because.

[00:21:20] CHELSEY DONN: interesting.

[00:21:21] TREY GERRALD: I have forgotten that not, it doesn't affect everyone the same way,

[00:21:24] CHELSEY DONN: So when we have our three year anniversary show next week, we're not going to be clinking champagne.

[00:21:30] TREY GERRALD: I don't think so,

[00:21:32] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, anyway, we got way off topic, 

[00:21:35] TREY GERRALD: I could crown Rebecca, how do you feel?

[00:21:36] CHELSEY DONN: okay, I think we've talked about the impact, we've talked about the humor, let's jump into the crowning,

[00:21:41] TREY GERRALD: Alright, let's do it, So Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards, Now, in an effort to be fair and not influence one another, We're gonna simultaneously reveal our ratings,

[00:21:51] VOICEOVER: The Queens are tabulating, Total Score,

[00:21:59] CHELSEY DONN: you're joking me,

[00:22:00] TREY GERRALD: I'm joking you,

[00:22:02] CHELSEY DONN: Trey and I have made Rebecca an official Review Queen squared, Rebecca, you did it, that is a feat that not many people on this show have accomplished, you got a free t shirt, because you got a double Review Queen, I want to hear, What you thought about Rebecca Trey, why you gave her five crowns, let us know.

[00:22:21] TREY GERRALD: So I was holding up one crown just

[00:22:23] TREY GERRALD: to goose Chelsey a little bit. I mean we really went over it and I just think like it's probably the most singularly useful review we've covered in 158 episodes.

[00:22:33] CHELSEY DONN: that's quite a statement.

[00:22:35] TREY GERRALD: It's done with a lot of humor, it's done with brevity, and I just feel like Rebecca's a good time gal, and I want to be friends with her, I want to go see Dolly Parton there with her, and you, Chelsey.

[00:22:46] TREY GERRALD: You know, the, the, I was sort of like, I

[00:22:48] TREY GERRALD: don't know, like, I agree, I think the cat thing is meant as humor, and also, if she had included a blurry, Zoomed in photo of Dolly Parton, like, pixelated because she was all the way in the back. That would have been, like, chef's kiss, like, really funny. But it didn't even need it, because it's so strong and it's valuable, and I love the whole bus and the trash bags and reading Crate and Barrel, like, hilarious.

[00:23:11] TREY GERRALD: So, five stars, five crowns, Review Queen. Chelsey, why did you do Review Queen?

[00:23:17] CHELSEY DONN: just think it's obvious, like we said, Rebecca H is the queen, I would love to go to the bowl with Rebecca H anytime, They know all the tricks of the trade,

[00:23:26] CHELSEY DONN: I think they could even teach me a thing or two, They get to the point, they give lots of great information, and frankly, They're a queen. Thank you, Rebecca, for writing such a lovely review of one of my favorite places in LA, if not my favorite place in LA.

[00:23:40] CHELSEY DONN: I appreciate the review and I appreciate you, Review Queen. Thank you. Thank you.

[00:23:45] TREY GERRALD: And we got you nine years later, baby.

[00:23:48] CHELSEY DONN: We, we, it took us a little while to get you. It's actually 12 years. It took us a while to get you, but we got you. Yes, that was fun.

[00:23:57] TREY GERRALD: Yay!

[00:23:58] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, I like that. All right, my queen, we've done it. We have reached the most regal portion of our show, of our two Review Queen show.

[00:24:07] CHELSEY DONN: Who are you inducting for?

[00:24:10] VOICEOVER: My Royal Highness,

[00:24:12] TREY GERRALD: Okay, today I'm gonna be a little bit like Rebecca

[00:24:15] TREY GERRALD: and I'm gonna joyfully induct something and then it has a little bit of darkness. So

[00:24:20] TREY GERRALD: I want to induct yearbooks and the

[00:24:23] TREY GERRALD: reason I want to induct yearbooks because I was the fourth graduating class of my high school and they negotiated a deal for three years and then somehow It didn't get renegotiated or something so my senior year we didn't have a yearbook except we all banded together to have like Kinko's print us literal paper and it was like literally like one of those black plastic bindings that had a clear sheet of paper on the top and Bullshit, but I just love yearbooks.

[00:24:54] TREY GERRALD: It's like now everything is so digital that it's sort of like literally there's an app to tell my I don't even need the app. It's like my photos will tell me this is what you did nine years

[00:25:03] TREY GERRALD: ago, but like there's something very sweet about like seeing how my mom dressed me in a red polo by accident for like nine years. Like it's so

[00:25:14] TREY GERRALD: random and like Put that white mousse in my hair and like brushing my hair over to the side like and then like also like getting little glimpses of like These people in your life that are somehow imprinted in your mind. It's like oh, I remember my second grade teacher But what the fuck was her name?

[00:25:31] TREY GERRALD: I don't remember I can like see where my desk was in the classroom and it's like oh my gosh that girl She sat beside me, and I would cheat off of her on te Like, all of

[00:25:40] TREY GERRALD: those little things that happen, And I'm wondering, like, schools must still do yearbooks, Cause it's like, so sentimental and such, But like, I'm also hearing, like, everything is documented, So, maybe the value of yearbooks is a little lesser for Gen Z ers, But I don't know, I'm I could be making that up, but They're very sweet to me, and um, it's really insane that Kinko's made my yearbook, my senior year of high school, but that's the many reasons today why I am being like Rebecca H.

[00:26:07] TREY GERRALD: and honoring yearbooks with a silly and sort of dark undertone. Yearbooks, you're my Royal Highness.

[00:26:16] CHELSEY DONN: I love that. Have you ever like pulled it out and read the messages that were written in there and then like, what the fuck was that?

[00:26:23] TREY GERRALD: that's, I forgot about that, yes, having people sign your yearbooks and all the

[00:26:27] TREY GERRALD: random inside jokes that 

[00:26:29] CHELSEY DONN: And there's so many inside jokes that like, Even things that people are like, oh my God, it's the blah, blah, blah. That's the nickname. You gave me the curb star. And I'm like, I don't, I don't even remember that. Like, I guess I did that. That sounds like something I might have done, you know?

[00:26:43] TREY GERRALD: I know, it's so sweet, thank

[00:26:45] TREY GERRALD: you, that's like so much the key of yearbooks, I forgot.

[00:26:47] CHELSEY DONN: Ugh. The 

[00:26:48] TREY GERRALD: It's also crazy to me when I think about like, when people become very famous, and like, they're like in your yearbook, or,

[00:26:54] CHELSEY DONN: Oh yeah.

[00:26:55] TREY GERRALD: when you like, went to school with Jeffrey Dahmer, and he's like in your yearbook,

[00:26:59] CHELSEY DONN: I love it. When somebody that you weren't really expecting in high school has some sort of 

[00:27:04] TREY GERRALD: glow up, 

[00:27:05] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, glow up, and you're just like, wow, that's so cool, like, and so interesting that sometimes, like, the top, the valedictorian, you're like, oh, that's an interesting choice.

[00:27:14] TREY GERRALD: Also, I remember my mom, for whatever reason, always saying, Be nice to the nerds, because they're gonna be the most successful, And all of the jocks will be fat when you're 40. And I was like,

[00:27:24] TREY GERRALD: I

[00:27:24] TREY GERRALD: was like, What? Why are 

[00:27:25] CHELSEY DONN: love that your mom said that. That's so cool.

[00:27:29] TREY GERRALD: But I look back, and it's fair to all of the popular jockey kids, like, Have very, um, routine lives.

[00:27:36] TREY GERRALD: Like, they live the lives that their parents lived. You know, this is a grand overstatement, but

[00:27:40] TREY GERRALD: like, It's very interesting to see. They all have kids, and they, I'm sure, are very happy, and I, I wish them the best, but

[00:27:46] TREY GERRALD: it's not how I perceived life at that age. Anyway, there we

[00:27:50] CHELSEY DONN: Small quick tangent that I just want to talk about and address quickly, quickly, quickly. Speaking of nerds, Trey, you did me dirty on the editing of the episode. You really, I don't know if you guys will listen, it's several episodes back at this 

[00:28:06] TREY GERRALD: hmm. Calc It's the Calculator

[00:28:07] TREY GERRALD: episode! 

[00:28:07] CHELSEY DONN: the calculator episode, ironically, because Trey was complaining about the calculator at the top of the episode, but he asked me my opinion of this watch, and I, of the calculator watch, and I was like, it's sort of this nerdy thing that like, you know, was like popular amongst nerds, and if you had it, you were like the king of the nerds, and it was like a quick, thing that I just said but I didn't know that Trey had it and Trey edited me saying nerd and king of the nerds and all that in such a like funny way that made it like really really stand out so if you haven't listened to that episode yet hop back and listen to it because Trey really did his editing best with that one but I kind of took the butt of the the joke there but that's okay I'm fine with it

[00:28:49] TREY GERRALD: It's funny because I'm going to do it even dirtier because I'm about a

[00:28:52] CHELSEY DONN: no.

[00:28:54] TREY GERRALD: I send to Chelsey the episode the minute I finish it, so she didn't hear it until it went live, which is the funniest part, but also I, it was such an opportunity because I'm like, what did you think of these?

[00:29:08] TREY GERRALD: And you're like, I'm a nerd, like you go into this whole thing and then you're like,

[00:29:12] TREY GERRALD: why, what did you think of it? And I was like, Well, I was obsessed with it, so I had to, I had to inflate it

[00:29:19] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, my God. It was funny. It was funny.

[00:29:22] TREY GERRALD: Alright, well, we did a queen, that's another round on the R U A R Q Ferris Wheel of Dolly Parton making me cry because I'm not even drunk on Riesling and

[00:29:32] TREY GERRALD: creative 

[00:29:32] CHELSEY DONN: got the cat. Thank you for joining us today. If you like what you heard, please tell a friend.

[00:29:38] TREY GERRALD: If you did not like what you heard, please tell an enemy. On this week's after show, Chelsey and I are going to be rating and reviewing a one star Amazon review for a retro 1951 tornado rollerball pen, and the color's kiwi, just keep that in mind.

[00:29:56] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, okay. I wonder why this was said. She calls on like a couple people and they're like kind of shit in the

[00:30:04] VOICEOVER: What is your name? Michelle. Michelle, okay. Do you know the song, For Good? No, I do not. And she just lost the role.

[00:30:17] CHELSEY DONN: The third girl is this person and she's like, you seem cool. Do you know for good? And she's like, yes, I know for good. I love it. It's my favorite song or whatever. And she's like, all right. Her name's Sarah Hornsby. All right,

[00:30:26] CHELSEY DONN: Sarah, 

[00:30:27] VOICEOVER: on, Sarah, get up here. Learn the song, Michelle, and you can get up there and do it.

[00:30:32] CHELSEY DONN: doing crowd work.

[00:30:36] TREY GERRALD: Hmm, me too, I'm full of wonder, of wonders, miracle of miracles.

[00:30:40] CHELSEY DONN: Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles. 

[00:30:44] TREY GERRALD: Now, please, we implore you to remember

[00:30:46] CHELSEY DONN: Ignore the haters. You're a queen!

[00:30:49] TREY GERRALD: gender nonspecific queen.

[00:30:52] CHELSEY DONN: Bye!

[00:30:53] TREY GERRALD: My,

[00:30:56] VOICEOVER: Sign up directly on Apple Podcast to hear our weekly members only after show. Unlock additional benefits when you become a Patreon slash patreon. Follow us on all the socials at the review queens and join our mailing Our kvetch line is open 24 7 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.

[00:31:14] VOICEOVER: You never visit, you never write. Give us a al now.

[00:31:20] TREY GERRALD: you weren't really upset about the edit, were you?

[00:31:21] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, no, I wasn't really upset. I was just like, oh my God, I feel bad because I, I love the nerds. I want to marry a nerd. Like, I'm all about the 

[00:31:30] TREY GERRALD: Do you think if I was really upset, I would've been. Do you think I would really have been upset by that?

[00:31:34] CHELSEY DONN: no, I'm just saying if there are any nerds listening to our podcast, I'm single and available.

[00:31:39] TREY GERRALD: oh, that's clear. Okay, good. Wait, what were you gonna say?

[00:31:42] CHELSEY DONN: I was just gonna say I have a Hollywood Bowl story I'll share in the after show and I want to hear like one of your favorite live concert stories. So,

[00:31:49] TREY GERRALD: Short list

[00:31:50] CHELSEY DONN: Friday.

[00:31:51] TREY GERRALD: My queens.

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.



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