Review That Review with Chelsey & Trey
Episode 175: "RE-VIEW: Ross Dress For Less (from Ep 9)"
Transcription
*Please pardon any and all spelling errors!
[00:00:00] CHELSEY DONN: Hello, hello, who wants to go to Hawaii? I do. Baby, it's time to review, Review That Review, episode nine, which aired August 4th, 2021. This was quite a trip to say the least. I don't want to give all, give it all away in case you haven't listened to it, but the original episode contained two reviews, two complaints, two Royal Highness inductions.
This review is a bite sized version of that original airing. So be sure to pop back and listen to the episode in full. You're not going to want to miss the whole thing, but this gives you a little taste. This also was like a revolutionary episode where we had a show first. It's so fun. So I hope you will enjoy listening to it. And please remember to leave us five stars on Apple podcast and enjoy the episode.
[00:00:46] THEME SONG: Everybody's got an opinion.
Every Californian and Virginian.
It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.
Someone's gotta settle the score.
Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!
Whose views win, which ones lose.
Online haters are comin' for you!
Baby, it's time to Review That Review!
[00:01:18] CHELSEY DONN: Hello, welcome to Review That Review. The um, intro song is always my warm up. Like, you know, when you go to the gym and they have like, or you're going to like a workout class and they have that initial song where you're just like getting things started. That's what our theme song does for me. I hope, I hope it energizes the audience.
[00:01:35] TREY GERRALD: I wonder if the audience skips it because they're just so eager to get to us or if Natalie's vocals to Joe Kinosian's tunes are actually what they're coming for each week.
[00:01:45] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, I will say I was at a friend's house. Last night and she was singing our theme song. It was like very trippy. She like couldn't wait.
[00:01:52] CHELSEY DONN: Really? I swear she couldn't stop singing the theme song. And I was like, Oh my God, it gets stuck in other people's heads besides mine. So maybe we should apologize to Rice A Roni.
[00:02:02] TREY GERRALD: No, that's not happening. But I do think like we are so lucky because yes, we're just so lucky.
[00:02:09] CHELSEY DONN: Should we say what we what we are?
[00:02:11] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, yeah. I mean, if you're if you're listening this far, maybe you already know, but just in case.
[00:02:17] TREY GERRALD: We do, though, have written transcriptions of each episode for listeners that are hard of hearing or that prefer to consume podcasts via reading. Yeah. So let's just say it. For the fun of it.
[00:02:28] CHELSEY DONN: Sure. Do you
[00:02:29] TREY GERRALD: wanna wait?
[00:02:30] TREY GERRALD: Do you wanna say it together? I wanna see how it goes.
[00:02:33] CHELSEY DONN: I think it will go badly, but we can try.
[00:02:35] TREY GERRALD: Okay. You ready? Okay. Sure. 1, 2, 3. Welcome to review that podcast. The podcast, podcast de, you're trying to be bad.
[00:02:49] CHELSEY DONN: I'm trying to be good.
[00:02:51] TREY GERRALD: Oh, welcome to Review That Review, the podcast dedicated to reviewing.
[00:02:57] CHELSEY DONN: Reviews, where just like Siskel and Ebert, only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious, scathing, and sometimes suspicious online reviews.
[00:03:09] TREY GERRALD: That's Chelsey Donn.
[00:03:10] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, and that's Trey Gerrald.
[00:03:12] TREY GERRALD: And together, we're
[00:03:14] CHELSEY DONN: the Review Queens.
[00:03:18] TREY GERRALD: How's your crown today, Chelsey? You RQ you?
[00:03:21] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, RQ, I like that. Yeah, you RQ you. Um, my crown is great. It's virtual today, so it's quite light, which I appreciate. I feel very good. How have you been? How's your week been, Trey?
[00:03:35] TREY GERRALD: I'm good. My crown's also virtual. Oh, other side. Um, good. I'm good. It was a little rainy today, which was a little unexpected. I'm so in this habit now of going on a daily walk, sometimes two, with the two dogs. And, you know, it's a process of getting the two dogs and their harnesses and then I have this tandem leech.
[00:03:55] TREY GERRALD: So it's like the two dogs. And so it's, it is an event. It's not a bad thing, but it's an event. And then we get outside and then David wanted to join and our nephew, Denver, is staying. So then he was going to come. And then it was, then we literally walked. This is not even an exaggeration. We walked maybe five steps.
[00:04:11] TREY GERRALD: And it started like, it was like, Oh, I think it's spitting. And then it was like, Oh,
[00:04:16] CHELSEY DONN: no, it was
[00:04:17] TREY GERRALD: crazy. So we ran back. So did you
[00:04:19] CHELSEY DONN: get caught or were you able to get home?
[00:04:21] TREY GERRALD: No, we were like so close to the garage. Like we were still in the driveway that it was sort of like, uh, we'll just go and stand in the garage.
[00:04:29] TREY GERRALD: But then it did sort of stop a little bit. And David walked around with an umbrella and I just sort of Took the reign. It was fun. How about you?
[00:04:36] CHELSEY DONN: I'm good. I have this random pain sometimes in my, I know it's weird in my pointer finger on my left hand. If there are any doctors listening that have any advice for me, do let me know.
[00:04:49] CHELSEY DONN: But I get this weird pain. And so I have this like throbbing pain in this finger all night. So I didn't get the best night's sleep last night, but I did have Pilates before this and we did some like neck work. And that kind of made it a little bit better, oddly enough.
[00:05:05] TREY GERRALD: That is so wild. The body is so weird.
[00:05:07] TREY GERRALD: Everything is connected.
[00:05:08] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, it's bizarre. But Jenny, watch that rock Pilates. I mean, she knows what she's doing. So thank God for her because I mean, this pain is no joke.
[00:05:18] TREY GERRALD: She said you got a problem in your finger. Let's move that.
[00:05:20] CHELSEY DONN: Let's move that neck.
[00:05:23] TREY GERRALD: Well, besides the pain in your finger, is there any complaint you want to lodge?
[00:05:28] CHELSEY DONN: Lodge a complaint. Yes, I would like to lodge a complaint against cell phones. Like, you know, when you have full bars, like you look at your phone, you're like, I got full bars. And yet you can't look anything up. And like your phone's all choppy. And then you're like, I have full bars. And then your friend's like, I also have full bars.
[00:05:48] CHELSEY DONN: Do the bars even mean anything anymore? It's really annoying.
[00:05:52] TREY GERRALD: Does the friend have the same? Oh,
[00:05:55] CHELSEY DONN: different service provider.
[00:05:56] TREY GERRALD: You
[00:05:57] CHELSEY DONN: know, does this happen to you?
[00:05:59] TREY GERRALD: It's odd that you're saying that because I do find that I will frequently switch my eye, well, not my iPad. When I purchased my iPad, this is a tangent.
[00:06:06] TREY GERRALD: I was duped into getting it a cell plan, which I didn't comprehend what was happening. And then I did when I got my bill and I was like, what the fuck? And then I called and was like, wait, did what happened? And they're like, yeah, that's correct. And I was like, Oh, but I, can I have it without that? And they're like, that's the plan you chose.
[00:06:25] TREY GERRALD: And I was like, so I just felt stupid and I hung up.
[00:06:28] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah.
[00:06:28] TREY GERRALD: And then like, later, I was like, I have to cancel this tangent. Okay. Um, yes, I do have to flip my cell phone a lot back from like, I turn the Wi Fi off and then I turn the Wi Fi back on. I'll put an airplane, not airplane.
[00:06:41] CHELSEY DONN: Same.
[00:06:42] TREY GERRALD: And somehow that will trigger better service, but I have to like do that for a couple of seconds.
[00:06:48] TREY GERRALD: It's very weird.
[00:06:49] CHELSEY DONN: It is very weird. It doesn't really make any sense to me. I don't know what the bars are supposed to mean. Like I thought I could trust the bars, you know, like right now I have two bars and I live in the hills and we have really bad service here. So that feels accurate to me and that's okay.
[00:07:04] CHELSEY DONN: Like I'm cool if you want to let me know that I don't always have full service. But don't lie to me. It's hurtful.
[00:07:11] TREY GERRALD: I hear that so hard. What's the first visual when you hear the word BARS? Jail. Oh, see, I think of like a candy bar.
[00:07:19] CHELSEY DONN: Oh God. What does that say about us? .
[00:07:22] TREY GERRALD: But I also, well, like when you were saying bars, I then thought about like a bar, like going out to a bar.
[00:07:28] TREY GERRALD: Wow.
[00:07:29] CHELSEY DONN: I think that I felt, maybe I felt bars, like, jail bars because I feel imprisoned by, you know, these wireless companies and the fact that I'm stuck with them and they're lying to me.
[00:07:42] TREY GERRALD: You know, David has Verizon and I still have AT& T. Yes. And that is a very interesting dynamic for a spouse to have a different wireless company because we often, Verizon tends to always have better service than AT& T anywhere we go, but the good thing about that is that if one of us doesn't have service, odds are the other one will, and that's really fantastic.
[00:08:04] CHELSEY DONN: That is nice. I think that's helpful. I actually think it's helpful to have an interwireless or inter network relationship.
[00:08:12] TREY GERRALD: Yeah.
[00:08:13] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. I approve.
[00:08:14] TREY GERRALD: That's the, that's the key to marriage. That
[00:08:15] CHELSEY DONN: is the key to marriage. I mean, weirdly enough, you would be great here. AT& T service at my house is excellent. Verizon is no good.
[00:08:22] CHELSEY DONN: So maybe we should just do a swap.
[00:08:24] TREY GERRALD: Okay. That, that's fine with me. Seems like a realistic solution. It actually, this, this is really becoming an enjoyable segment for me because these common annoyances. Yeah. are pretty universal. And so, like, there is something freeing about, like, sharing it, and then there's commiserating about it, and then it's like, well, whatever, you know,
[00:08:43] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah.
[00:08:43] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, it's great. Sometimes you need to kvetch. And with that in mind,
[00:08:48] TREY GERRALD: Sorry, I just, No, I just, I just got, um,
[00:08:54] CHELSEY DONN: Blossomed. Chelsey
[00:08:55] TREY GERRALD: sent me a care package, Blackcurrant, sugar free, Grether's, Pesticide, Del Pastilles.
[00:09:03] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, Pastilles. I don't know. It's French, I think.
[00:09:07] TREY GERRALD: I remember my voice teacher in college always had these.
[00:09:10] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, they're so good. So I was
[00:09:12] TREY GERRALD: popping one in my mouth because I wanted to be able to like say thank you for the gift. And then you were like teeing me up so beautifully. Wow. 18 minutes in and here we are. Okay. We'll see you next time.
[00:09:22] CHELSEY DONN: I would be remiss, um, not right before we started to just point out to the audience who can't see what I can see that Trey is like serving us sexy, where's Waldo today?
[00:09:35] TREY GERRALD: This is from our photo shoot.
[00:09:36] CHELSEY DONN: I know, but it's like in just the red and white stripe. I don't know. You're serving me Waldo.
[00:09:42] TREY GERRALD: Thank you. Thank you. I just wanted to build here.
[00:09:45] CHELSEY DONN: I just, yeah, if you had the glasses, you would be, Oh my God. Yes. Like Trey, you know, like when you go on the internet and you see those Halloween costumes that are adapted to be all hipster y, like Trey looks like a hipster, adorable, Where's Waldo?
[00:10:01] TREY GERRALD: I went as a Where's Waldo before.
[00:10:03] CHELSEY DONN: Did you wear that shirt?
[00:10:04] TREY GERRALD: I wore like the actual like expensive Where's Waldo costume shirt.
[00:10:09] CHELSEY DONN: There you go. Anyway,
[00:10:10] TREY GERRALD: it came with a beanie. That was really cute. I don't know where that went. Okay. Anyway, whatever.
[00:10:14] CHELSEY DONN: Anyway, but you have a crown instead. All right. That was a tangent.
[00:10:18] CHELSEY DONN: Let's get into Assess That Kevich. Assess That Kevich. Alright, who's going first today? I think you're going first today. Did I go first last time?
[00:10:26] TREY GERRALD: It is I, the Gay Review Queen.
[00:10:28] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my goodness, I'm so excited. Hit it, sister! Review That Review!
[00:10:39] TREY GERRALD: Okay, uh, my review today is a one dot review from TripAdvisor. This is on a list. It is number 102. of 318 things to do in Honolulu and it is from Lisa and the review subject is shopping at Ross Dress for Less in Glen Allen, Virginia. So it has nothing to do with Honolulu.
[00:11:11] CHELSEY DONN: I'm so confused. So wait, hold on this.
[00:11:13] CHELSEY DONN: You found this. On a list
[00:11:16] TREY GERRALD: of things to do in Honolulu,
[00:11:18] CHELSEY DONN: but what we actually discovered was a review for the Ross in
[00:11:23] TREY GERRALD: Virginia,
[00:11:23] CHELSEY DONN: Virginia,
[00:11:24] TREY GERRALD: because Lisa wrote the review,
[00:11:27] CHELSEY DONN: Under this,
[00:11:28] TREY GERRALD: under the Honolulu Ross. Dress for less.
[00:11:30] CHELSEY DONN: Hey, Lisa. Okay, .
[00:11:33] TREY GERRALD: Here we go. Already.
[00:11:34] CHELSEY DONN: Already starting off on an interesting foot. All right, let's hear from Lisa.
[00:11:38] TREY GERRALD: Okay. I experienced a first this evening while traveling. We stopped at Ross Dress for Less and Glenn Allen, Virginia. I had found an item of clothing in another Ross store in another city, but needed a larger size. So stopped when I found this Ross. It was 7 30 p. m. and the store didn't close until 10 p. m.
[00:12:03] TREY GERRALD: As I shopped, I was pleased to find what I was seeking as well as several other items and wanted to try them on. Here's the shocker. I was told all dressing rooms are closed after 7 30, so I couldn't try them on. Are you kidding me? A clothing store that doesn't allow you to try them on before purchase?
[00:12:26] TREY GERRALD: If you're perhaps having security issues, hire a security guard. If you can't do that, then you should close the store the minute you close the dressing rooms. I had several items I chose not to purchase when I found this out. I even Quite shopping altogether, I proceeded to the checkout with only the item I had found in the larger size from trying it on at another Ross in another city.
[00:12:52] TREY GERRALD: The register was being run by the person I was told was the manager. There was one woman with two small children in front of me. I waited for her to decide what she was purchasing and deliberate for several minutes over whether or not she wanted to spend more and also get a toy her kids were begging her for.
[00:13:13] TREY GERRALD: At this point, I was becoming rather agitated, since we had a long drive still ahead of us. The manager couldn't get the woman's card to run through and kept apologizing. After at least 10 more minutes, she announced she would have to void the entire purchase and ring everything up again. She apologized to me for having to wait, at which time I expressed my concerns and shock at their policy.
[00:13:46] TREY GERRALD: She told me she had expressed comments to the manager. But he wouldn't let her keep the dressing rooms open later. I stated that he then needed to be on site dealing with angry customers. Furthermore, I informed her I was told she was the manager, a comment to which she reluctantly admitted, appearing stunned, that I caught her and called her out on it.
[00:14:14] TREY GERRALD: After waiting several more minutes for the transaction still to be completed for the customer in front of me, I politely asked if I could leave my item there, and I walked. This store lost all of my business this evening, and I can assure you I will never stop here again when next I travel this way.
[00:14:36] TREY GERRALD: Furthermore, everyone I know will hear this story, In my opinion, there are enough Rosses in the Richmond, Virginia, That if you can't provide appropriate customer service, Permanently shut the store down completely, I've never been so appalled, I've never In my life, and I've shopped at many a Ross store in many states as I've traveled, very disappointed and amazed this store is allowed to operate this way.
[00:15:15] CHELSEY DONN: Wow. Oh my God, Lisa. Lisa, like I feel like I need like a fire extinguisher or something to put her out. She was really fired up there.
[00:15:27] TREY GERRALD: I have a lot of thoughts here. There are a bunch of like very like random misspellings. Everyone will hear about this. It's spelled H E R E. There's a bunch of I's that are not capitalized.
[00:15:39] TREY GERRALD: Also, I do recognize the validity of complaining that What's the point in shopping for clothes if you can't try them on? But I will say that everyone knows that Ross and TJ Maxx, all these stores, they have so much like tchotchke stuff.
[00:15:53] CHELSEY DONN: Right.
[00:15:53] TREY GERRALD: All of the stuff in the line going to checkout is like gadgets and gizmos aplenty.
[00:15:59] TREY GERRALD: So you don't have to try them on.
[00:16:00] CHELSEY DONN: Right.
[00:16:01] TREY GERRALD: Anyway, okay, I've talked a lot. Tell me what you're thinking, Chelsey.
[00:16:05] CHELSEY DONN: So many thoughts, like, first of all, I feel like I need to put aside that she reviewed this under the wrong category, because that's going to distract me now, but I do have a question, like, When, so I put this on this list of Honolulu things, Does it then cue in to the Ross in Virginia's, like, lists of reviews?
[00:16:23] CHELSEY DONN: It does not.
[00:16:24] TREY GERRALD: No, this is for the Honolulu location.
[00:16:27] CHELSEY DONN: Okay, well then, therefore, this review is like completely useless. Would this impact my ability to, or my willingness to shop at this Ross, etc.? Like, I feel like I can't even bring that into play. However, I have thoughts. All right. Where are we traveling to?
[00:16:43] CHELSEY DONN: It was like, while traveling, like, like, are we traveling to Honolulu? Maybe? I don't think we can drive there. I
[00:16:48] TREY GERRALD: have no idea.
[00:16:49] CHELSEY DONN: But we're clearly traveling. What I was shocked at was when she, first of all, she informs us later that she's an avid Ross shopper, but when she first starts talking, she's like, Oh, and then we were going to go to another Ross.
[00:17:01] CHELSEY DONN: To get a larger size of the same item. I was thinking that's a gamble, honey, because aren't the raw, they operate in kind of independently. So it's like what you find at one Ross, you're not going to necessarily find it another, right?
[00:17:16] TREY GERRALD: Yeah. When I read that at the beginning, I was like, Oh my God, that's a magic trick.
[00:17:19] TREY GERRALD: That right. The same thing was there.
[00:17:21] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, how do you feel about the dressing room closing at 7. 30 as a policy?
[00:17:27] TREY GERRALD: It does sound to me that perhaps this Ross was understaffed. If the manager is running the register, there's no reason to shut it down, right?
[00:17:36] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, the only thing that I was thinking, they close at 8?
[00:17:40] TREY GERRALD: 10.
[00:17:41] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, they close at 10?
[00:17:43] TREY GERRALD: Oh, then that's
[00:17:44] CHELSEY DONN: ridiculous. Okay, that's crazy.
[00:17:46] TREY GERRALD: Yes, two and a half hours early.
[00:17:48] CHELSEY DONN: All right, so I'll give Lisa that. Like, that's an insane policy. In my mind, I was like, okay, well, if they close at 8, maybe it's just that, like, if we let people into the fitting room at 730, and then they're like in there a really long time.
[00:18:00] CHELSEY DONN: Right. Trying on different things and it's like, maybe you have somebody in the fitting room until nine o'clock and you're like, we closed an hour ago, you know? So I was sort of giving them a little bit of benefit of the doubt, but if it was truly 730, 10 PM, that's ridiculous. Did she say that this made her quit shopping altogether?
[00:18:17] CHELSEY DONN: Was that like a declarative statement? Like, and I no longer shop or that just made her quit shopping at the Ross.
[00:18:24] TREY GERRALD: Well, she says that she'll never shop here again. When next I travel this way.
[00:18:30] CHELSEY DONN: No, but before that, earlier in the review, she said something like, I think she said, I quit shopping altogether, but I think she meant I quit shopping altogether.
[00:18:39] TREY GERRALD: Yes, that's right.
[00:18:40] CHELSEY DONN: Right.
[00:18:40] TREY GERRALD: Lisa realized they could no longer,
[00:18:42] CHELSEY DONN: they couldn't try things on. So she was just like, I'm not going to buy anything. Cause at first I was like, are you being dramatic? Like, and I quit shopping. I mean, she knew so many details about this other woman that was checking out. First of all, it sounds like that other woman was in the middle of a nightmare, and Lisa had like no empathy for what was happening, right?
[00:19:02] CHELSEY DONN: With that woman, like their card reader wasn't working.
[00:19:05] TREY GERRALD: She's dealing with the kids that want to
[00:19:07] CHELSEY DONN: bang. Yeah, that are like screaming and like, I want this mommy, I want, you know, and that's like a nightmare. Like, it sounds like that woman was having a nightmare as well. But there was just so much anger.
[00:19:18] TREY GERRALD: What do you think about engaging with the cashier?
[00:19:21] TREY GERRALD: While you're behind the person that's actually being checked out at that moment.
[00:19:26] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, that's a pet peeve. Like, like, listen, like, I don't know. Like, Lisa is obviously making it sound like she was there for like hours and she's in the middle of the road trip and they're like, her family's like waiting outside for her.
[00:19:39] CHELSEY DONN: So she's very anxious clearly to get out of here. I don't know. Like, it just seems, I got so many Karen vibes like we need to get that manager sound cue because like I just wanted to like push that sound cue every time you said manager like she said manager like three or four times and I just like that she was painting the picture like she she was doing everything perfectly and everybody else was doing everything terribly wrong like even when she left she was like I politely asked if I could leave the item Here, like she really wanted us to know that she wasn't going out in a huff and like throwing the thing on the floor.
[00:20:15] CHELSEY DONN: Like she was like, I politely, gently graced my item on top of, you know what I mean? Like as if she's just the most delicate person ever. I don't know. It's a little bit of like a low. Blow thing to be like, and I'm going to let everyone that I know, know that they should never shop here ever. You know, like, it's just, it feels, it does feel very carony.
[00:20:40] CHELSEY DONN: Was she attacking Ross or was she just attacking the store? Like, was she saying that Ross, the store should go out of business or just this location?
[00:20:49] TREY GERRALD: Just that one, because permanently shut this store down completely is an all cap. Okay,
[00:20:54] CHELSEY DONN: okay, okay, okay.
[00:20:55] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, I am curious how Lisa ended up at this Honolulu location, leaving a review for a location in Virginia.
[00:21:02] TREY GERRALD: That's so perplexing to me.
[00:21:03] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah.
[00:21:04] TREY GERRALD: And Lisa has contributed 13, 000. Other reviews to TripAdvisor.
[00:21:09] CHELSEY DONN: Did she filter those appropriately?
[00:21:11] TREY GERRALD: I did not go on a scavenger hunt, but that would be fun, actually. There were some spelling grammar issues, like I was saying, they were sort of sprinkled in here and there.
[00:21:18] TREY GERRALD: It's that thing that we come across where it seems like they were in a fit of rage and just like had no time to think if they were saying Here or here.
[00:21:28] CHELSEY DONN: Right.
[00:21:30] TREY GERRALD: But I think it's odd that they are closing the dressing room two and a half hours early, but that sort of gets buried because your point about the mom, like Lisa is so wrapped up and the drama happening to them they, Feel as though this mother who's trying to please the child but not spend too much money and then the drama of the checkout person not being able to get the card to run.
[00:21:58] CHELSEY DONN: Right.
[00:21:59] TREY GERRALD: Lisa feels like it's happening to her or to them and not taking into account that like
[00:22:05] CHELSEY DONN: this other woman also couldn't go into the fitting room. Another woman also.
[00:22:08] TREY GERRALD: Well, this woman is trying to check out and the Card readers not working and the children are crying because they want things and now you're interjecting about being upset about you're saying you're not the manager, but I know you're the manager and the mom is just trying to leave because she's got to go to Burger King to feed her kids.
[00:22:25] TREY GERRALD: I'm imagining. So that makes me feel a little like, uh, like, uh, we're often a tangent at this point. Like, is it about the dressing room being closed? Yeah. or is it about
[00:22:36] CHELSEY DONN: you're just like pissed that like life is handing you lemons it's also
[00:22:41] TREY GERRALD: so interesting to me to stop in the middle of a road trip to like go shopping but lisa needed to do that
[00:22:47] CHELSEY DONN: same i mean i will say in terms of entertainment value i don't know if it was just that like you did such a good job with your reading but i like laughed when she wrote here's the shocker you know like it was like You know, I don't know, I thought that was funny.
[00:23:03] TREY GERRALD: I feel like I could crown this.
[00:23:04] CHELSEY DONN: I can crown it, I'm ready.
[00:23:06] TREY GERRALD: All right.
[00:23:08] CHELSEY DONN: The queens are tabulating.
[00:23:10] TREY GERRALD: So as you know, Chelsey and I each have our own set of one to five crown cards and in an effort to not be influenced by one another, we are going to reveal them simultaneously so that we aren't influenced by one another.
[00:23:22] TREY GERRALD: You ready, Chelse?
[00:23:23] CHELSEY DONN: I am ready.
[00:23:28] CHELSEY DONN: Total score. Okay, unanimous. We're both one crown. Yeah, we're each holding up one crown. This was like the easiest crowning ever. I mean, I don't know. I gave her one crown because I thought like that was ridiculous that they closed at 730, but like I couldn't give her any other crowns because this, this review is essentially useless.
[00:23:49] TREY GERRALD: Well, that's why I did one crown because I wanted to do half a crown on its own.
[00:23:52] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah,
[00:23:53] TREY GERRALD: but I did think it was entertaining that it was Trey,
[00:23:56] CHELSEY DONN: Trey,
[00:23:57] TREY GERRALD: Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
[00:24:11] CHELSEY DONN: Yes.
[00:24:13] TREY GERRALD: So we did it Lisa, thank you so much. Yes,
[00:24:15] CHELSEY DONN: thanks Lisa for for putting this out into the wrong
[00:24:21] TREY GERRALD: And I hope you have a great time frequenting the Richmond, Virginia Rosses that are so much better.
[00:24:25] CHELSEY DONN: Yes, please go to those because this one sounds terrible. All right, let's take a quick break and when we come back, we'll see how Meryl's tan looks before getting into my review.
[00:24:35] TREY GERRALD: Oh, I love that. Gosh, I'm so jealous. She was on the Caribbean. I know she needs a vacay. Do you have someone that you want to induct today for
[00:24:46] CHELSEY DONN: my Royal Highness?
[00:24:48] CHELSEY DONN: I would like to induct the magic eraser as my Royal Highness because that thing really can just do it all. It can get smudges out of your wall. If you get a scratch on your car, you can fix it with a magic eraser. When I was home, we had a bunch of scratches on the bottom of like one of my mom's pans. We used one of those magic eraser sheets.
[00:25:11] CHELSEY DONN: It came right out. I heard people are using magic erasers on their teeth for whitening. I do not recommend that. Do not do that yet. People say that it works, but don't do it. Just go and have your teeth whitened like a normal person. I don't think that's the magic eraser's fault. It definitely was not intended to be used that way.
[00:25:29] CHELSEY DONN: But the point is the magic eraser, it's just exactly what it says it is. It's magic.
[00:25:38] TREY GERRALD: That magic eraser is really is magic. It's just magic. So let's keep this regality flowing and read a Royal Review. Oh,
[00:25:46] VOICEOVER: yay. Let's do it. Baby, it's time for some Royal Reviews.
[00:25:53] TREY GERRALD: Chelsey and I have been thoroughly overwhelmed by the support that we have been receiving for this podcast from all of you listeners.
[00:26:00] TREY GERRALD: It's really been amazing.
[00:26:01] VOICEOVER: Yeah, this
[00:26:02] TREY GERRALD: Royal Review thing we thought would be every now and then and we have been getting such an influx that It just is remarkable. So we want to share another one with you today from a user on Apple Podcasts named Hammond Cheese Sandwich. So it's, it's Hammond, like a last name Hammond, but like a witch, like, Oh, I'll get you my pretty witch.
[00:26:25] TREY GERRALD: So Hammond Cheese Sandwich.
[00:26:27] VOICEOVER: Okay. And
[00:26:28] TREY GERRALD: this is the review. Five stars, question mark, exclamation mark. Okay, so first of all, giving anything less than five stars on a review of people reviewing reviews would be strictly camp. Like, seriously, you care enough about reviews to listen to an entire podcast about them and then write one yourself but are still upsot?
[00:26:53] TREY GERRALD: That's a credit to the Jingle Bells. Barbra Streisand song. That your need for review based content was not satisfied? Sorry, no. But let me also say that I refuse to make this a florid spewing of superlatives lest TNC declare it quote unquote suspect for its all too positive hit every note quality. All caps.
[00:27:18] TREY GERRALD: Sorry I liked it too much, y'all. So fine, here's some criticism. I patently Disagree with Trey, Trey and Chelse on multiple occasions. In fact, I disagreed so strongly that I found myself speaking my objections out loud and while wearing headphones, might I add, in a space where I was very much not alone.
[00:27:39] TREY GERRALD: Tracy and Chey, Okay, I'm stealing that. Tracey and Che, I'll allow this rambunctious hilarity to continue, As long as you promise never to review me, The people waiting in the podiatrist's office have heard enough from me already, P. S., all caps, Natalie Weiss,
[00:27:59] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my goodness. I feel like I have, I know we're not allowed to review this review, but I have so many questions.
[00:28:06] CHELSEY DONN: Like I want to know what Ham and Cheese really disagreed with us on. Ham and Cheese, if you're listening, leave us like a voicemail or something and let us know what, like what you disagreed with, because I'm always open to discourse and we're not always right. And I would love to know if you felt so passionately about something, what was it?
[00:28:26] TREY GERRALD: I definitely think that Ham and Cheese Sandwich must leave us a voicemail. I want to know who this is because they are a genius writer. I also, I am obsessed with getting a five star review that Both compliments and insults us and insults like in a great way. I hear the larger point is that they enjoy the content, even though they don't always agree, which is exactly what this whole podcast is about.
[00:28:55] TREY GERRALD: So 100
[00:28:55] CHELSEY DONN: percent
[00:28:56] TREY GERRALD: amazing, amazing review. Thank
[00:28:58] CHELSEY DONN: you so much. So much for all like the nicknames you gave us and how you referenced us. I don't know where you live. If you're in New York or LA, let us know. One of us will take you out for a drink or something. You seem fun.
[00:29:10] TREY GERRALD: Tracey and Che, I'm totally stealing that.
[00:29:13] TREY GERRALD: All right, so if you, listener, want to be featured as one of our Royal Reviews and you want to match Hammond Cheese Sandwich Bar that they just totally raised, The Gauntlet, The Gauntlet, this is medieval times, honey, and you better get that crown. So make sure you leave us a review right now. We made it super easy with a super cute hyperlink, lovethepodcast.
[00:29:33] TREY GERRALD: com slash thereviewqueens.
[00:29:36] CHELSEY DONN: And there's also a one click link in the show description. So it's easy peasy.
[00:29:41] TREY GERRALD: We did it, Queen. Another round in the ear holes. I know that's so gross, but I realize I keep saying books, but that's not a book.
[00:29:48] CHELSEY DONN: It's not a book.
[00:29:49] TREY GERRALD: Oratory delight.
[00:29:51] CHELSEY DONN: All right. Well, thank you guys so much for joining us today.
[00:29:53] CHELSEY DONN: If you like what you heard, please tell a friend.
[00:29:56] TREY GERRALD: If you didn't like what you heard, please tell an enemy. If you want to leave us a voicemail, better hit up that voicemail box, honey. 1 850 REVIEW ZERO.
[00:30:07] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, please, Hammond, we're waiting on your voicemail. So please leave us a voicemail. You can also. Follow us on all the socials, at The Review Queens, and I'm at Chelsey BD.
[00:30:17] TREY GERRALD: And y'all know this, but I'm at Trey Gerrald, that's two Rs. Please become a member of the Royal Court by joining our Patreon at patreon. com slash Review That Review. You can also watch live clips from every single recording session on YouTube right now.
[00:30:31] CHELSEY DONN: And remember, ignore the haters, and you don't always have to agree with us, we don't always have to be unanimous all the time.
[00:30:39] CHELSEY DONN: You're still a queen!
[00:30:41] TREY GERRALD: Gender non specific weenies.
[00:30:43] CHELSEY DONN: Yep.
[00:30:44] VOICEOVER: Bye.
[00:30:44] TREY GERRALD: Toodaloo.
[00:30:46] VOICEOVER: Thank you so much for listening to that review. We hope you enjoyed it. And as we've mentioned at the top of the show, it really helps us if you could please share
[00:30:54] CHELSEY DONN: the podcast, leave a review, get us up in the algorithms, do all the magic and help us out so that when we come back after this hiatus, we can come back to you.
[00:31:03] CHELSEY DONN: Bigger
[00:31:04] VOICEOVER: and better than ever. Baby, we love you. Sign up directly on Apple Podcast to hear our weekly members only after show. Unlock additional benefits when you become a Patreon member@reviewthatreview.com slash patreon. Follow us on all the socials at the review queens and join our mailing list@reviewthatreview.com.
[00:31:24] VOICEOVER: Arc veg line is open 24 7 at 1 8 5 0 review zero. Don't be a ogana. Call the kvetch line today.
Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.
Photo by Girl with red hat on Unsplash
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