Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 21: "HALLOWEEN SPECIAL - Inflatable Dino Costume / Abracadabra NYC"
Transcription
THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.
Every Californian and Virginian.
It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.
Someone's gotta settle the score.
Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!
Whose views win, which ones lose.
Online haters are comin' for you!
Baby, it's time to Review That Review!
[00:00:32] Trey Gerrald: Ooo, hello.
[00:00:33] Chelsey Donn: Hi. It's so spooky being in the dark.
[00:00:36] Trey Gerrald: So Scary. Hello everyone, welcome to Review that Review, the podcast dedicated to reviewing-
[00:00:43] Chelsey Donn: Reviews. We're just like Siskel and Ebert, only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious, scathing and let's be honest, sometimes suspicious online reviews.
[00:00:55] Trey Gerrald: That's Chelsey Donn.
[00:00:56] Chelsey Donn: And that's Trey Gerrald.
[00:00:57] Trey Gerrald: And together, we are
[00:00:59] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens.
[00:01:04] Halloween Costume REVEALS!
[00:01:04] Trey Gerrald: Happy Halloween Review Queens. Chelsey and I are currently on our recording apparatus, which is called Zoom and we have our videos turned off because we're surprising each other with Halloween costumes because it is-
[00:01:18] Chelsey Donn: Halloween.
[00:01:19] Trey Gerrald: Woo, all right, so we're gonna turn our screens on, you ready?
[00:01:23] Chelsey Donn: Okay, I'm ready.
[00:01:25] Trey Gerrald: Three, two, one, go.
[00:01:30] Chelsey Donn: Ah.
[00:01:36] Trey Gerrald: Ah.
[00:01:36] Chelsey Donn: [laughs]
[00:01:36] Trey Gerrald: Happy Halloween.
[00:01:41] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God, happy Halloween. Trey, you're beautiful.
[00:01:42] Trey Gerrald: I can't see you, where are you? Chelsey is dressed as Where's Waldo and I can't see her.
[00:01:46] Chelsey Donn: I know, I know, you're gonna have to keep looking, keep looking. Here I am, here I am, look. Okay, what I'm looking at is Trey dressed as Drew Barrymore from Scream but like way prettier.
[00:01:59] Trey Gerrald: I have my Jiffy Pop.
[00:02:01] Chelsey Donn: She has Jiffy Pop, she's on the phone, she's calling, like, he's in the house.
[00:02:05] Trey Gerrald: Is he behind me?
[00:02:06] Chelsey Donn: There he is. Ah.
[00:02:07] Trey Gerrald: Ah. Do you see, I hung the mask. Do you see him?
[00:02:10] Chelsey Donn: Okay, first of all, let's talk about Trey for just one second 'cause like I, I can't even handle the beauty of what I'm saying right now. You guys-
[00:02:17] Trey Gerrald: Mm.
[00:02:18] Chelsey Donn: She's so beautiful.
[00:02:20] Trey Gerrald: [laughs]
[00:02:20] Chelsey Donn: She has a pink glow behind here. There's like some sort of an LED light show happening behind Drew.
[00:02:29] Trey Gerrald: Well that's what I always have, but tonight it's red instead of white.
[00:02:33] Chelsey Donn: Right, but it's this like hot pink, sexy hot pink that just goes with the look so well and she just looks absolutely stunning, you guys. I'm like intimidated by your beauty. I'm not even gonna lie.
[00:02:47] Trey Gerrald: Well I also have touch up your appearance on.
[00:02:49] Chelsey Donn: I mean, you guys, this is worth the Patreon alone, just so you can see what gorgeousness I'm looking at right now. Like, is that a full lash?
[00:02:59] Trey Gerrald: It is.
[00:02:59] Chelsey Donn: I'm getting like flashbacks to that, when we did that lash review. Like-
[00:03:03] Trey Gerrald: I have full lashes and I even have two little teeny babies on the bottom.
[00:03:08] Chelsey Donn: Oh my god, I love her.
[00:03:11] Trey Gerrald: I started getting ready for this recording four hours ago!
[00:03:14] Chelsey Donn: I was gonna say, you must have, I started getting ready for this Waldo look like 15 minutes ago. Oh my God, Trey.
[00:03:23] Trey Gerrald: You look great. So did you find the beanie?
[00:03:25] Chelsey Donn: I found the beanie.
[00:03:27] Trey Gerrald: Perfect.
[00:03:28] Chelsey Donn: She's, she's bobby pinned and there's a lot to negotiate 'cause we got a beanie, we got the glasses and we got the headset. You, you went head... oh no, you got a fancy headset, oh, I like that.
[00:03:36] Trey Gerrald: Well, I put in these like old timey Apple-
[00:03:39] Chelsey Donn: Yes.
[00:03:39] Trey Gerrald: Headsets because this wig is too short, that I did attempt-
[00:03:44] Chelsey Donn: Yes.
[00:03:44] Trey Gerrald: To, um, put the headset on, but it sort of messed up the illusion, you know? It's all about illusion.
[00:03:50] Chelsey Donn: I feel like I, I don't even know if I can refer to you as Trey in this episode. Am I calling you Drew? Like, I just, I feel like I have a new cohost.
[00:03:59] Trey Gerrald: Do you know what her name is in the movie?
[00:04:00] Chelsey Donn: I don't, I'm like really afraid of all scary movies, so I just... I know the scene, but I-
[00:04:06] Trey Gerrald: Have you ever... have you never seen Scream?
[00:04:08] Chelsey Donn: I've seen it, but I, I think I like closed my eyes through some of it and like-
[00:04:13] Trey Gerrald: Oh yeah.
[00:04:13] Chelsey Donn: Probably was distracted and not really paying attention 'cause I'm so afraid of scary movies. Like I'm not a horror movie girl. I know the mask... what's her name? Sorry.
[00:04:23] Trey Gerrald: Her name is-
[00:04:24] Chelsey Donn: Weathers!
[00:04:24] Trey Gerrald: Ca- Casey Becker. No, Gale Weathers, that's Courtney Cox's character.
[00:04:28] Chelsey Donn: [laughs] Oh, Casey.
[00:04:31] Trey Gerrald: 'Casey? Baby?' That's what the mom says when she sees her strung up in a tree, spoiler al- alert.
[00:04:36] Chelsey Donn: Oh. It's okay, if y'all haven't see it by now. And there's a knife, you guys, a bloody knife.
[00:04:42] Trey Gerrald: The blood.
[00:04:42] Chelsey Donn: Oh no sorry, but the blood is-
[00:04:44] Trey Gerrald: Rhinestones.
[00:04:45] Chelsey Donn: Did you bejewel that yourself?
[00:04:47] Trey Gerrald: I did. You know this but I, I wanted to do... I wanted to do the women of Scream, me and my husband and my dogs, family, we do an annual Halloween photo and my husband didn't think that Scream's characters were iconic enough, so then I was like, uh, well, it's iconic enough to me so I'm going... he didn't think they'd be recognizable.
[00:05:08] Chelsey Donn: Right.
[00:05:08] Trey Gerrald: So I decided. Uh, I would just do it on my own. So I did all of the women... it's on my Instagram. So yeah, so I did bedazzle this, oh, with, uh, two different color rhinestones.
[00:05:18] Chelsey Donn: You're se- yes I see it, 'cause it really makes it pop.
[00:05:20] Trey Gerrald: This was my hobby before I had, um, a podcast. Speaking of-
[00:05:25] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. [laughs]
[00:05:26] Trey Gerrald: Do you have any Halloween complaints? 'Cause I think that you should have the opportunity to-
[00:05:32] Lodge A Complaint!
[00:05:32] VOICEOVER: Lodge a Compliant.
[00:05:33] Chelsey Donn: You know when you have, like, a jar or a water bottle and it has like that silicon piece around the inside of it that's, that has very good intentions. Like it's, it's meant to keep it locked and closed and so that no water comes out or whatever it is that you're trying to, you know, kind of air suction tight.
[00:05:48] Trey Gerrald: Mm-hmm [affirmative].
[00:05:48] Chelsey Donn: But when they start to fall off, it's like a-
[00:05:58] Trey Gerrald: [laughs]
[00:05:58] Chelsey Donn: Downhill battle from there. Like you, you just know it's near the end.
[00:06:02] Trey Gerrald: This is the internal, like, little liner piece inside-
[00:06:06] Chelsey Donn: Yes.
[00:06:06] Trey Gerrald: That keeps the suction going.
[00:06:07] Chelsey Donn: And then, like I, I bought this water bottle for Goldie that I love-
[00:06:13] Trey Gerrald: Mm.
[00:06:13] Chelsey Donn: It's amazing and it has this amazing contraption where basically you can, you can pour water out and filter water back through, but it like sends it through a filter, so like you never get in a situation where you're like, okay, this is full and I gotta go, what am I gonna do? Amazing but that, that thing is starting to come off and so sometimes it can't close-
[00:06:32] Trey Gerrald: Right.
[00:06:33] Chelsey Donn: Exactly the way that it's supposed to close and we've been having a little bit of leaking for this product that I love and it's upsetting and I just wanted to lodge a complaint about that.
[00:06:42] Trey Gerrald: I hear you, and the good thing about our Review That Review water bottles-
[00:06:46] Chelsey Donn: Yes.
[00:06:46] Trey Gerrald: Is that they're insulated and they don't have a separate little silicon piece.
[00:06:50] Chelsey Donn: No, there's no separate silicon piece. This is all... this is a two piece item that one person who is on our mailing list is going to win, so-
[00:07:02] Trey Gerrald: It is a great water bottle. Uh, obviously it's our podcast, but every time I drink out of it, I get excited.
[00:07:06] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, it's true. All right, Trey, what about you?
[00:07:09] Trey Gerrald: It's a good complaint, that is-
[00:07:10] Chelsey Donn: Thank you.
[00:07:10] Trey Gerrald: One of those things where it's like the shelf life of that product has to be shortened because-
[00:07:15] Chelsey Donn: Yes.
[00:07:15] Trey Gerrald: Of this one little piece, which is really annoying.
[00:07:18] Chelsey Donn: And it's like perfect before then, you know? So anyway, that's my complaint. Let's get something off your chest. What is it? What's going on?
[00:07:27] Trey Gerrald: So, okay, so today, my complaint is... I'm afraid it might be a little bit ageist, so-
[00:07:34] Chelsey Donn: Okay.
[00:07:34] Trey Gerrald: My intention is not ageist, uh, attacks-
[00:07:38] Chelsey Donn: Okay.
[00:07:38] Trey Gerrald: Something that really does annoy me is-
[00:07:40] Chelsey Donn: Mm-hmm [affirmative].
[00:07:40] Trey Gerrald: It's, it's usually something that occurs when you are over a certain age. But not always. It really bothers me when people keep the clicking sound on their iPhone when they're texting.
[00:07:54] Chelsey Donn: Oh my god.
[00:07:54] Trey Gerrald: So anytime you're next to someone and it's like... it is so-
[00:07:58] Chelsey Donn: Oh my god.
[00:07:59] Trey Gerrald: That is so annoying.
[00:08:00] Chelsey Donn: Yes.
[00:08:01] Trey Gerrald: It does occur over like family gatherings-
[00:08:04] Chelsey Donn: Sure.
[00:08:04] Trey Gerrald: Where someone will be texting and it's like we're all on the couch hanging out and it's just like... like it's not even a real thing, like that's a totally fake sound-
[00:08:14] Chelsey Donn: Right.
[00:08:14] Trey Gerrald: To emulate keyboards-
[00:08:16] Chelsey Donn: A typewriter.
[00:08:16] Trey Gerrald: Which is, right, which was originally the type writer-
[00:08:19] Chelsey Donn: Right.
[00:08:19] Trey Gerrald: Which actually made the sounds because it was hitting the thing to touch the paper.
[00:08:22] Chelsey Donn: Right.
[00:08:23] Trey Gerrald: So it just... it really serves no point. There's no reason to have it.
[00:08:26] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, I was gonna say, I mean you brought it up, but like I was gonna say you think it's just because when, like, we hear that noise, we're just like, "Where is that setting? Like I must turn it off immediately." Like I, like will not do anything else until I get this setting off. My god, that's annoying. But to them, it's not so annoying, and, and it's also like too many steps to turn it off. Why don't you just le- like what do you think... is there anybody that's really getting enjoyment out of it?
[00:08:51] Trey Gerrald: I, um, so I will say, there is something pleasurable about the sound. I'm also a person that finds gasoline to smell good, even though that's not-
[00:08:59] Chelsey Donn: Sure.
[00:09:00] Trey Gerrald: You know, not really a go- pleasant smell. Like, there is something satisfying about the clicking.
[00:09:04] Chelsey Donn: Sure.
[00:09:05] Trey Gerrald: But, when it's not your phone and you have nothing to do with it, but all you can hear is the like-
[00:09:12] Chelsey Donn: Random clicking?
[00:09:13] Trey Gerrald: Gosh it really bothers me.
[00:09:14] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.
[00:09:15] Trey Gerrald: So, um, I've had that on my list for awhile and I've been a little concerned about sharing it 'cause I don't wanna be making fun of old people 'cause I, I'm getting older every day. I don't know about you. It, it does occur to me as a nuisance, and so I have to lodge it and put it in our ledger of complaints, so thank you for hearing me out.
[00:09:30] Chelsey Donn: Yes, it's, it's, it's been heard and it's also been notated that it has no attachment to any sort of ageism.
[00:09:36] Trey Gerrald: Okay. Then we're good.
[00:09:38] Chelsey Donn: Yup. Okay.
[00:09:39] Trey Gerrald: Well here we are, should we, should we, um, jump into our Halloween ooky scary terrifying murderous trick or treat special themed edition?
[00:09:53] Chelsey Donn: I think we definitely should and do you think that we should both tell stories of, like, crazy Halloween stories, we can each tell one but then we can only let the Patreon hear it maybe?
[00:10:03] Trey Gerrald: Oh that's good. We'll do, yeah, well yes. I have, I have a lot of Halloween stories that I can share. I'm very into Halloween.
[00:10:08] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Okay. I mean, I have one that I'm thinking of, so just wanted to like take this opportunity to say if you're listening and you don't have Patreon, you might miss out on some epic Halloween stories.
[00:10:20] Trey Gerrald: I love that. Okay, well, should we jump into some online reviews, Chelsey dear?
[00:10:26] Chelsey Donn: I think we should, am I first today?
[00:10:28] Trey Gerrald: You are.
[00:10:29] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God, yay, I feel like I haven't been first in awhile, but I know I have been 'cause it's every other.
[00:10:34] Trey Gerrald: Ah. [laughs]
[00:10:35] Chelsey Donn: [laughs] All right. As you guys know, we are your trusty Review Queens, we each bring in a review from the internet that we feel needs to be inspected.
[00:10:44] Trey Gerrald: We read you the review, we break it down and rate the impact of the review on a scale from one to five crowns. It's a very regal process that we call
[00:10:54] VOICEOVER: Assess That Kvetch!
[00:10:56] Trey Gerrald: And obviously we're gonna be Halloween theme today and Chelsey girl-
[00:11:01] Chelsey Donn: [laughs] Yes.
[00:11:02] Trey Gerrald: Take it away RQ.
[00:11:06] Inflatible Dinosaur Costume Review
[00:11:06] VOICEOVER: Review that Review.
[00:11:09] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Do we wanna talk about how we picked the same review or do we wanna wait until I read mine? [laughs]
[00:11:15] Trey Gerrald: So, you know, we have discussed this before, we don't share what our reviews are prior, but we have started to sort of communicate, "I'm picking something in this genre from this website." So, today-
[00:11:27] Chelsey Donn: [laughs]
[00:11:28] Trey Gerrald: We realized that Chelsey and I both picked the same-
[00:11:32] Chelsey Donn: Independently.
[00:11:33] Trey Gerrald: Independently on our 21st episode.
[00:11:35] Chelsey Donn: We did it.
[00:11:36] Trey Gerrald: We picked the same exact review. So I'm curious to see if it was the same review.
[00:11:39] Chelsey Donn: I am so curious to hear 'cause I wanna say I looked a long time and I, I don't wanna oversell this review, but it really took me awhile to find what I was looking for, so we'll see if we trust-
[00:11:50] Trey Gerrald: Great.
[00:11:51] Chelsey Donn: Muy Malo, M-U-Y M-A-L-O. Now, you know, I only took like three or four years of Spanish I wanna say, in college, but I think that Muy Malo means very bad. So, is Muy Malo, muy malo, um, or muy bueno? I think we will have to listen to the review to find out. It's a one star review of Ruby's Giant Inflatable Dinosaur Suit Costume. Okay. If you'd like to experience the horror of having a large plastic bag stuck on your head, this costume is for you.
[00:12:33] Chelsey Donn: Seriously, this is a huge suffocation hazard. The tiny fan barely pumps enough air to keep the plastic off your body. Getting into the costume is only slightly easier than trying to extract yourself from it, and visibility once you're trapped within it is reduced to a three inch blurry window. Imagine trying to look through a plastic storage bin from Walmart, but then skew the visibility up even more by making it bendy.
[00:13:07] Trey Gerrald: [laughs]
[00:13:09] Chelsey Donn: Upon dawning the garment, anyone even remotely warm blooded begins to sweat immediately and condensation from your limited breathing adds to the humidity within. Feeling claustrophobic yet? You haven't even put your feet on, which guess what? You can't reach because bending over isn't really possible. Your cries to 'take this infernal theropod off me' cannot be heard. Your voice has been dampened by thick plastic.
[00:13:45] Trey Gerrald: Oh my god.
[00:13:45] Chelsey Donn: And your movements are limited to thrashing like someone half stuck in a straight jacket. You can't see out of it, so the antics of stumbling around seem very cheery to your friends, watching, dry and cool, and not encased in 10 pounds of air tight, constricting plastic. The thin air further blocks your vision and the amazingly loud motor begins to let off a harsh chemical from the lubricants, further increasing the toxicity of the atmosphere inside. Once you actually fall, from lack of air, your friends should figure out something's wrong, lean close to hear your screams and open the zipper.
[00:14:33] Chelsey Donn: They will then pull you limp from the T-Rex encased in the afterbirth of your sweat and whatever residue keeps the plastic shiny, and proceed to laugh at you. Congrats, you purchased an inflatable T-rex costume. Seriously, this thing is awful. Don't purchase it.
[00:15:01] Trey Gerrald: Oh. Muy Malo.
[00:15:03] Chelsey Donn: Muy Malo had a muy malo experience.
[00:15:06] Trey Gerrald: I did not find this review.
[00:15:08] Chelsey Donn: Oh really?
[00:15:09] Trey Gerrald: Okay, Muy Malo, I actually really do appreciate this review because-
[00:15:13] Chelsey Donn: Yes.
[00:15:13] Trey Gerrald: They bring up a lot of points I was, I was curious what the experience of being inside of an inflated airbag-
[00:15:21] Chelsey Donn: Correct.
[00:15:21] Trey Gerrald: Would be, so I actually really do appreciate the context, specifically the mention of condensation. That was my main question-
[00:15:29] Chelsey Donn: Yes.
[00:15:29] Trey Gerrald: If this was like this little like plastic square to see out of in the, like, chest, the sternum of the dinosaur, I was curious if you were in there and you're sweating, it's gonna get foggy and, and the condensation's gonna be-
[00:15:41] Chelsey Donn: Gross.
[00:15:41] Trey Gerrald: Too much.
[00:15:42] Chelsey Donn: Right. And then also, the, the fact that you're in... well just so you know, that's why I was searching for four hours for, like, this review because I kept thinking, like, I see these costumes all the time and I think, it can't be comfortable inside of there.
[00:15:58] Trey Gerrald: [laughs]
[00:15:58] Chelsey Donn: Like you got... first of all you're humongous, so you can't even like, turn to get a crudités item or something 'cause you can knock out God knows what and beyond that the fan inside, you're suffocating in there, like you just... it just seemed terrible to me and I wanted someone to walk me through that experience. And this was the first person that I found that, that did that. Another thought that I had about Muy Malo was now I definitely felt like they were giving us amateur Open Mic Stand Up comedy a little bit. That being said, pretty good. You know, like, I've seen a lot of open mic comics that have had worse material than this. I think they were definitely trying to give us humor. Now, my, my question about the humor, because I, it's there and it was with intention, do we think that they are giving us their true experience and just sort of like building in comedy or do we think that they are-
[00:16:54] Trey Gerrald: I, I appreciate that you're bringing this up 'cause I, I actually appreciated the device early on when they said, "Are you feeling claustrophobic yet?"
[00:17:04] Chelsey Donn: Right, same.
[00:17:05] Trey Gerrald: Like I thought that was really funny. But then when it got to like-
[00:17:08] Trey Gerrald: Yes.
[00:17:08] Trey Gerrald: Then you're gonna, like, fall over and then your friends gonna unzip you and then they're gonna laugh at you-
[00:17:12] Chelsey Donn: Right.
[00:17:12] Trey Gerrald: And then you're gonna feel stupid, that I sort of felt like, uh, now you're like-
[00:17:17] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, that's what I mean by the open mic comedy bit. It's like we got this, like, funny bit and then we just decided to keep building on it, I think he needs to workshop this material.
[00:17:25] Trey Gerrald: I guess my, my thought is like I'm not coming to the review section of Amazon for your comedy.
[00:17:32] Chelsey Donn: Right.
[00:17:32] Trey Gerrald: And I do think the impact of the review would be stronger if they just stuck with the facts ma'am.
[00:17:38] Chelsey Donn: [laughs] Yes.
[00:17:39] Trey Gerrald: Because it didn't occur to me that the friend would have to unzip you.
[00:17:42] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.
[00:17:43] Trey Gerrald: I guess you can't zip yourself up, that you have to have someone do that, right?
[00:17:48] Chelsey Donn: Well, yeah, you can't unzip yourself when you're in there. Like, god forbid you should need to go to the bathroom and you're alone, there's only one option. Like, it's just, it just seems like such a high liability Halloween costume, you know?
[00:18:01] Trey Gerrald: It on- it just seems thoroughly impractical.
[00:18:03] Chelsey Donn: Yes.
[00:18:03] Trey Gerrald: It seems like it would be funny outside-
[00:18:06] Chelsey Donn: Right.
[00:18:07] Trey Gerrald: I cannot imagine going to a Halloween party-
[00:18:09] Chelsey Donn: [laughs]
[00:18:09] Trey Gerrald: You can't do, you can't do it.
[00:18:11] Chelsey Donn: No, you can't.
[00:18:12] Trey Gerrald: I really am like taken by this review. The va- it really is valuable to me because they really walk through all of the reasons this is just impractical.
[00:18:20] Chelsey Donn: Right. Yes. They really do. Like everything about this review would make me not want to be in this.
[00:18:26] Trey Gerrald: It makes me feel very sticky.
[00:18:28] Chelsey Donn: Yes. It makes me feel very claustrophobic. "Feeling claustrophobic yet?" Yes, yes I am.
[00:18:34] Trey Gerrald: They said that it is ten pounds of plastic. That can't be accurate.
[00:18:38] Chelsey Donn: I think it can.
[00:18:40] Trey Gerrald: Really?
[00:18:41] Chelsey Donn: I do because a lot of the reviews for these inflatables talked about how the pumps often times couldn't actually inflate them-
[00:18:49] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, I saw those too.
[00:18:50] Chelsey Donn: And that to me would lead me to believe that it must be quite heavy and require quite a force to get that air in there, and I believe it was probably 10 pounds. I, I think that that's not so crazy.
[00:19:04] Trey Gerrald: I also came across a lot of reviews saying that the zipper broke the very first attempt of zipping it.
[00:19:10] Chelsey Donn: Same, I came across those, too.
[00:19:12] Trey Gerrald: Did you come across any pictures of people that had to duct tape holes closed?
[00:19:16] Chelsey Donn: Yes.
[00:19:16] Trey Gerrald: 'Cause that's the most hilarious part.
[00:19:18] Chelsey Donn: I did, especially the ones that were, uh, I know we're getting off topic, but especially the ones that were like mothers of people that were buying it for their kids and like-
[00:19:26] Trey Gerrald: Yes.
[00:19:27] Chelsey Donn: My child was crying and like all I could do was duct tape his tears away, you know?
[00:19:32] Trey Gerrald: I do think if, if, when we have our first live show, we both have to come out in these inflatable dinos. I think it's been decided.
[00:19:39] Chelsey Donn: Oh my god.
[00:19:40] Trey Gerrald: Even though I do think that the, I do think that this is probably a common experience.
[00:19:44] Chelsey Donn: Yes.
[00:19:45] Trey Gerrald: I do think that Muy Malo is being truthful. The humor isn't really there. I mean it's sort of like, uh, uh, it's not really that funny to me. I find this to be incredibly valuable, and I think the impact is that... I mean, I think it's just kind of fun and crazy to like-
[00:20:00] Chelsey Donn: Yes.
[00:20:01] Trey Gerrald: Be in this air inflatable thing. But, what is the spelling grammar like?
[00:20:06] Chelsey Donn: Spelling grammar is excellent. Really, really solid I'd say. In fact, they, they use like some significant words I didn't even really know, like "take this infernal theropod?" I don't even know what a theropod is. Is that bad?
[00:20:18] Trey Gerrald: I didn't know what that was either, no.
[00:20:20] Chelsey Donn: Okay.
[00:20:21] Trey Gerrald: Well-
[00:20:21] Chelsey Donn: I think I can crown it.
[00:20:22] Trey Gerrald: I think I can crown this too, yeah.
[00:20:24] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Let's do it.
[00:20:25] Trey Gerrald: All right, so Chelsey and I each have our own set of one to five crown cards and in an effort to be fair and not influenced by one another, we will simultaneous reveal our rating cards.
[00:20:39] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating.
[00:20:41] Trey Gerrald: I'm ready, you ready?
[00:20:42] Chelsey Donn: Okay, I'm ready.
[00:20:47] VOICEOVER: Total Score.
[00:20:49] Trey Gerrald: Tie.
[00:20:50] Chelsey Donn: Okay, tie, ta- ta- [laughs] Trey and I are both holding up four crowns. All right, Trey, let us know, why did you decide four crowns for Muy Malo?
[00:21:01] Trey Gerrald: I mean, I really found this to be a thoroughly valuable, well written review.
[00:21:07] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.
[00:21:08] Trey Gerrald: The comedy is where it lost me. I wanted to do... I almost did four and a half, but eh, I do, I, I really believe the review, I think this is what the experience would be-
[00:21:18] Chelsey Donn: Right.
[00:21:19] Trey Gerrald: I just... because they attempted humor and I, and personally felt it fall flat-
[00:21:24] Chelsey Donn: Right.
[00:21:25] Trey Gerrald: I decided to go with four. I took one crown away for that. What about you? Why did you say four?
[00:21:30] Chelsey Donn: I said four because I thought, like you, like you actually brought up quite eloquently, like, stick to the truth. Stick to the narrative. Like we can, we can still put in jokes and keep it to what actually happened and I think the fact that we went off a little bit in la la land, like when we were, we were in reality and then we certainly, suddenly, sorry, transferred into la la land, it just was like I don't really know if I can trust you Muy Malo, so that like little bit of inclination for the suspicious factor here is what made me give Muy Malo four crowns and take away that one crown.
[00:22:06] Trey Gerrald: Fair, yeah, I agree.
[00:22:08] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.
[00:22:09] Trey Gerrald: All right. Very fun. Well-
[00:22:11] Chelsey Donn: Thanks.
[00:22:11] Trey Gerrald: Let's take a quick break and when we come back, we can get into my review.
[00:22:15] Chelsey Donn: Oh my god, I can't wait.
[00:22:16] Trey Gerrald: B-R-B.
[00:22:20] VOICEOVER: Hold your crown, we'll be right back.
[00:22:32] Review Queen Exclusive Offer: superchewer.com/queen
[00:22:32] Trey Gerrald: Chelsey and I are so excited to share this exclusive Review Queen offer from Super Chewer dot com that is worthy of five crowns, honey child. Now, from the makers of BarkBox, Super Chewer is a monthly subscription based service for those dogs that need tougher and more durable toys. Every month you and your pup will receive a box right to your front door that is loaded with two tough toys that are always fluff free, two meaty chews and two full sized bags of treats that are customizable for allergy and diet preferences. Plus, all Super Chewer treats are always made in the USA and Canada, with globally sourced ingredients and never contain corn, wheat or soy.
[00:23:15] Trey Gerrald: Now, close your eyes, unless you're driving, and imagine the joy your dog will have when that pesky mailman brings something that is just for them once a month. Super Chewer is offering listeners of Review that Review one extra month free, which is a $45 value child, when you use our link: SUPERCHEWER.COM/QUEEN. Super Chewer comes with a 100% happiness guarantee. So if a toy isn't tough enough, they will replace it, 100% free of charge. Now what dog doesn't wanna take that challenge?
[00:23:50] Trey Gerrald: Sign up right now at Super Chewer dot com slash queen and give your good boy something that is good enough for them. SUPERCHEWER.COM/QUEEN.
[00:24:15] Trey Gerrald: [singing] Who let the dogs out? Who let them out?
[00:24:24] Chelsey Donn: Oh my god.
[00:24:26] Trey Gerrald: Once again, if you're not on Patreon, you're really missing, um-
[00:24:29] Chelsey Donn: [laughs]
[00:24:29] Trey Gerrald: Some lip syncing action.
[00:24:30] Chelsey Donn: [laughs] That was so- and it was like very pleasing, sorry, to like my voice coming out of this beautiful character was-
[00:24:37] Trey Gerrald: [laughs]
[00:24:37] Chelsey Donn: Actually like a nice experience for me as well, so thank you.
[00:24:41] Trey Gerrald: Oh, you're na- kind.
[00:24:43] Meryl-Go-Round
[00:24:43] Trey Gerrald: It's game time. All right. Chelsey, it is time for you and I to strap in on the Meryl-Go-Round.
[00:24:51] Chelsey Donn: Okay.
[00:24:52] VOICEOVER: I don't feel like an icon. Most of the days I feel like I can't. That's with an A.
[00:24:59] Chelsey Donn: [laughs] Hi, okay, [laughs] sorry. I just got lost in your beautiful eyes. Okay, so Trey and I have each picked a rotten, scathing, pithy one star zinger and with 30 seconds on the clock, not a second more, we'll each try and recite our zinger in as many genres as possible.
[00:25:20] Trey Gerrald: Just like Queen Meryl who does it all.
[00:25:22] Chelsey Donn: Has she done a halloween movie? I don't know. Before the clock runs out.
[00:25:26] Trey Gerrald: Death Becomes Her.
[00:25:27] Chelsey Donn: Oh yeah, that's true. Death Becomes Her, duh. And Goldie Hawn, you know? Goldie, Goldie.
[00:25:32] Trey Gerrald: That's right.
[00:25:32] Chelsey Donn: Anyway, all right Trey, where is your one star zinger from today?
[00:25:37] Trey Gerrald: Okay, I have two and I'm really not sure which one to pick. I'm gonna move my mouse around until I pick.
[00:25:45] Chelsey Donn: Okay. I think that on this Halloween themed Meryl Go Round, 'cause you showed it to me and I can't get the image of it out of my head. I feel like in a really, like, fierce way, you're riding like a giant version of that knife, but you're like seated on the top part that's like not sharp, you know? And you're like just this bad ass riding on this knife, like yeah, stay out of my way, don't come near me.
[00:26:12] Trey Gerrald: Would you call me a Scream Queen?
[00:26:15] Chelsey Donn: I would say you are undeniably a Scream Queen riding on that fancy bedazzled knife.
[00:26:22] Trey Gerrald: Okay, so-
[00:26:23] Chelsey Donn: [laughs]
[00:26:23] Trey Gerrald: My review today is from Amazon dot com, this is a one star review from Jennifer R.
[00:26:33] Chelsey Donn: Okay.
[00:26:33] Trey Gerrald: And this is, um, I'll tell you what it is, but the subject is "Not as described."
[00:26:38] Chelsey Donn: [laughs] Okay.
[00:26:38] Trey Gerrald: And this is for, also Rubies.
[00:26:40] Chelsey Donn: Okay.
[00:26:41] Trey Gerrald: Rubies Secret Wishes Women's Nightmare on Elm Street, Miss Kreugar Sexy Costume.
[00:26:51] Chelsey Donn: Oh wow.
[00:26:52] Trey Gerrald: So this is a sexy Freddie Kreugar costume for a woman.
[00:26:55] Chelsey Donn: Okay, sure.
[00:26:56] Trey Gerrald: Jennifer R, one star review, subject is "not as described", and the zinger is "dress was sized for a toddler."
[00:27:04] Chelsey Donn: [laughs]
[00:27:05] Trey Gerrald: [laughs] Because it's a slutty Freddie Kreugar shirt dress.
[00:27:09] Chelsey Donn: Right.
[00:27:10] Trey Gerrald: Alright.
[00:27:11] Chelsey Donn: Okay, Trey, do you feel ready?
[00:27:13] Trey Gerrald: I'm ready, I'm strapped in on my bloody knife.
[00:27:16] Chelsey Donn: Your bloody knife [laughs] that you ride so well, and let's do it.
[00:27:21] Trey Gerrald: I'm ready, let's go.
[00:27:22] VOICEOVER: Three, two, one, go.
[00:27:27] VOICEOVER: Magic show.
[00:27:28] VOICEOVER: Dressed was sized for a toddler.
[00:27:31] VOICEOVER: Spy.
[00:27:32] VOICEOVER: Dressed was sized for
[00:27:32] VOICEOVER: a toddler.
[00:27:32] VOICEOVER: Yankee.
[00:27:32] VOICEOVER: Whoa, the dress was sized for a toddler.
[00:27:35] VOICEOVER: [laughs]
[00:27:36] VOICEOVER: TLC reality.
[00:27:38] VOICEOVER: Dressed
[00:27:38] VOICEOVER: was sized for a toddler.
[00:27:41] VOICEOVER: Superhero.
[00:27:41] VOICEOVER: Dress was sized
[00:27:47] VOICEOVER: for
[00:27:53] VOICEOVER: a toddler.
[00:27:54] VOICEOVER: Opera diva.
[00:27:56] VOICEOVER: Dress was sized for a toddler.
[00:27:57] VOICEOVER: That's all.
[00:27:58] Chelsey Donn: I feel like by the fact that I said not a second more, I don't know if I should give that to you or not. Would I, do I feel generous today on this All Hallow's eve? Okay, fine.
[00:28:06] Trey Gerrald: Like three days ago, I was in the shower and I was thinking about how I get stuck on Yankee and I was like just think of that movie, Midnight Cowboy where he says, "I'm walking here."
[00:28:15] Chelsey Donn: Hey, I'm walking here.
[00:28:17] Trey Gerrald: And like say that in, say that in your head and then you'll be able to get into the rhythm, but it's so scary when it's only 30 seconds.
[00:28:23] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, it's really the clock that does it. It's not that you're not able to. First of all, you cashed in six with opera diva, so that is-
[00:28:24] Trey Gerrald: Okay.
[00:28:24] Chelsey Donn: Excellent, Trey.
[00:28:24] Trey Gerrald: Thank you.
[00:28:24] Chelsey Donn: And I just wanted to say quickly, you know, um, that that's really cool that you did that because when I was doing a show at ART, that's how they teach, they taught them at the grad school.
[00:28:42] Trey Gerrald: Oh.
[00:28:42] Chelsey Donn: Is in order to do a language you, think of one sentence or one phrase and then that gets you into the dialogue, so you did it on your own. Good job.
[00:28:50] Trey Gerrald: Ah, just, uh, call me an accent expert.
[00:28:51] Chelsey Donn: [laughs] I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna send you your MFA in the mail, okay?
[00:28:51] Trey Gerrald: Oh great, thank you. That was easy.
[00:28:55] Chelsey Donn: [laughs]
[00:28:55] Trey Gerrald: All right, Chels. What is your zinger for today?
[00:29:01] Chelsey Donn: All right, I'm so glad you asked. My zinger is for Stranger Things, the Drive Into Experience in Los Angeles.
[00:29:11] Trey Gerrald: Ooo.
[00:29:13] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, this zinger is written by Nicole M. Is it okay if in this context, I give away her whole name?
[00:29:21] Trey Gerrald: Sure.
[00:29:21] Chelsey Donn: I think it's fine. She, I don't know if she's listening. Her name is Nicole Mary Jane.
[00:29:27] Trey Gerrald: [laughs]
[00:29:27] Chelsey Donn: Okay?
[00:29:28] Trey Gerrald: Okay.
[00:29:29] Chelsey Donn: You'll see why and her one star zinger for this Stranger Things Drive Into Experience is "kicked us out due to our medication. In the state of California? Unprofessional!"
[00:29:42] Trey Gerrald: So was it marijuana?
[00:29:44] Chelsey Donn: For sure.
[00:29:45] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.
[00:29:45] Chelsey Donn: Right?
[00:29:46] Trey Gerrald: Oh my, it's kind of long.
[00:29:47] Chelsey Donn: It's... this is a long one, I know.
[00:29:49] Trey Gerrald: I just, I am so not a... I mean I, I can do a haunted hay ride, that pushes it. I can't do any sort of like haunted house thing, so like doing that stoned, no. I mean it's just like-
[00:30:00] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.
[00:30:00] Trey Gerrald: Even worse for me.
[00:30:01] Chelsey Donn: Well it's LA, I mean, like I'm not surprised.
[00:30:03] Trey Gerrald: Right.
[00:30:03] Chelsey Donn: But it's just pretty funny that they're like, "Our medicine." you know?
[00:30:06] Trey Gerrald: Mary Jane.
[00:30:06] Chelsey Donn: Mary Jane.
[00:30:07] Trey Gerrald: Okay, Nicole Mary Jane. All right, so tonight, you are gonna be strapped in-
[00:30:12] Chelsey Donn: Okay.
[00:30:13] Trey Gerrald: On Wanda, the female version of Waldo.
[00:30:17] Chelsey Donn: Is that a thing?
[00:30:18] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, he's married to Wanda.
[00:30:20] Chelsey Donn: Oh yeah, maybe I knew that.
[00:30:21] Trey Gerrald: And they have a dog, I forget the dog's name. Wa-
[00:30:23] Chelsey Donn: Oh yeah, the dog. Okay, okay, great. Me and Wanda going round the Meryl-Go-Round.
[00:30:28] Trey Gerrald: Should I say you're strapped in on that walking cane? You're strapped in on the walking cane.
[00:30:32] Chelsey Donn: I ho- I was like hoping you were gonna say that 'cause I didn't bring it today, so.
[00:30:37] Trey Gerrald: So, all right, here you go, are you ready?
[00:30:39] Chelsey Donn: Got my satchel ready and let's do this.
[00:30:41] VOICEOVER: Three, two, one, go
[00:30:46] VOICEOVER: Disney.
[00:30:46] VOICEOVER: Kicked us out due, due to our medication in the state of California? Unprofessional.
[00:30:51] VOICEOVER: Opera diva.
[00:30:53] VOICEOVER: Oh no. Kicked
[00:31:04] VOICEOVER: us out due to our medication in the state of California. [laughs] I can't even do it. Unprofessional.
[00:31:05] VOICEOVER: Adult film.
[00:31:05] VOICEOVER: Kicked us out due to our medication in the state of California, unprofessional.
[00:31:10] VOICEOVER: Horror movie.
[00:31:11] VOICEOVER: Kicked us out
[00:31:12] VOICEOVER: due to our medication in the state of California, unprofessional.
[00:31:16] VOICEOVER: Three, two, one. That's all.
[00:31:17] Trey Gerrald: [laughs] Oh god that was really funny. So you got four, queen.
[00:31:23] Chelsey Donn: Okay, I feel great about that considering how long it was, but congratulations Trey. It's Halloween, you showed up in such an amazing way and I'm happy to announce you the winner of this week's Meryl-Go-Round.
[00:31:36] Trey Gerrald: Thank you. Casey has to win something 'cause she doesn't win her life.
[00:31:41] Chelsey Donn: She does. [laughs] Well she won at Meryl Go Round.
[00:31:45] AbracadabraNYC Review
[00:31:45] VOICEOVER: Review that Review.
[00:31:49] Chelsey Donn: All right. We are back from that rousing game break and it's your turn, Trey, who has his Jiffy Pop ready. Where's your review form this week, Trey?
[00:31:59] Trey Gerrald: Well, about, um, two hours ago I was gonna do a review from Amazon-
[00:32:03] Chelsey Donn: [laughs]
[00:32:03] Trey Gerrald: For an inflatable dinosaur. But, um, I also found this other review, so-
[00:32:08] Chelsey Donn: Okay.
[00:32:08] Trey Gerrald: And I'm happy with it. Today I'm going to be doing a review from Yelp.
[00:32:11] Chelsey Donn: Okay.
[00:32:12] Trey Gerrald: This is one star, for Abracadabra, NYC. Abracadabra is this like ginormous multilevel... I think it's a Halloween store, but it's also like-
[00:32:24] Chelsey Donn: It's like a year round costume store.
[00:32:27] Trey Gerrald: Costume, makeup.
[00:32:28] Chelsey Donn: That really amps up around halloween.
[00:32:31] Trey Gerrald: But it feels spooky and Halloweeny, but is like a permanent, multi generational establishment.
[00:32:37] Chelsey Donn: Correct.
[00:32:38] Trey Gerrald: In Manhattan. So, one star review, this is from Mariana L.
[00:32:43] Chelsey Donn: Okay, Mariana. Okay.
[00:32:47] Trey Gerrald: This huge costume and prop emporium recently changed management and that was not a good thing. As you walk into the entrance, everything around you looks like it has been sitting "their" for the past 10 years and covered in the appropriate amount of mildew and dust. I asked for pith helmets and someone who clearly neither speaks English nor understands it goes behind a velvet rope, parenthesis exclamation mark, in the hat section, parenthesis, though she clearly has no idea what a pith helmet is.
[00:33:28] Trey Gerrald: After about 30 minutes of frustration and looking around the store myself, I try to ask the manager who looks like a really trashy Soprano's wanna be.
[00:33:39] Chelsey Donn: [laughs]
[00:33:40] Trey Gerrald: He has been on the phone the entire time for what seems to be an overly complicated bet with the OTB.
[00:33:49] Chelsey Donn: [laughs]
[00:33:49] Trey Gerrald: Pausing only to tell another potential customer that a used, broken, disco ball would be about $2500 when he asked. I inquired about a specific item I saw on their website that I had called earlier in the day about. The Tony poseur tells me that the site and the store aren't the same thing, parenthesis, even though I had spoken to someone about it less than an hour ago. Finally, I see something that slightly resembles a pith helmet and inquire about it. It turns out to be really used, missing parts, broken, and unusable. Even so, this douche bag has the nerve to tell me that I can quote, unquote, have it for $24 like he's doing me a favor. I couldn't spend money here if I shot it up that loser's ass with a two headed-
[00:34:50] Chelsey Donn: [laughs]
[00:34:50] Trey Gerrald: Dildo. I apologize for being so crass. If you read my other reviews, you will see that this review is a huge departure for me, but this trashy a hole has lowered the bar and I felt it was appropriate to describe my experience accurately. The good news, I ended up finding brand new, great looking pith helmets at the Army Navy store a few blocks away. The other store's staff was very helpful, nice, and conducted themselves with class.
[00:35:26] Trey Gerrald: Also, the much more superior and brand new product was $15.
[00:35:35] Chelsey Donn: Whooo, wow, wow, Mariana. Okay. Wow. So, first of all, my, my first issue with the review that I'll just bring up-
[00:35:44] Trey Gerrald: Yes?
[00:35:45] Chelsey Donn: What the heck is a pith helmet?
[00:35:47] Trey Gerrald: I gotta look it up 'cause I don't know either.
[00:35:49] Chelsey Donn: Like for... the most frustrating thing about this review to me is like you're making it seem like people are idiots if they don't know what a pith helmet is, the guy that works there who's just trying to help you does... I mean, I understand, helmets, hats, like that, that seems like that could be where it would be. Like-
[00:36:07] Trey Gerrald: Oh.
[00:36:08] Chelsey Donn: If they don't know what it is, why, why are they not explaining it to us, even like as the person that's gonna be reading this review?
[00:36:15] Trey Gerrald: So, a pith helmet is a safari helmet. Do you know like the villain in Jumanji?
[00:36:21] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.
[00:36:22] Trey Gerrald: Like that the dad plays, you know, like in Peter Pan.
[00:36:24] Chelsey Donn: So why wouldn't that be with like hats? That doesn't seem so odd to me that that would be-
[00:36:28] Trey Gerrald: I agree with you.
[00:36:29] Chelsey Donn: In the hat section.
[00:36:30] Trey Gerrald: It would be in the hat section you would think.
[00:36:32] Chelsey Donn: I just think that's so weird. Like a very odd thing to attack, you know? And then, what do you think about the fact that the store... god, so many things, the store has the separate online in store relationship and the fact that... does it seem like Mariann called and asked like, "Hey, I saw this thing online, can I come and get it in the store?" And then all of the sudden they were trying to claim no affiliation?
[00:36:55] Trey Gerrald: Well the, I was confused about that because it's confusing to me that it would not be the same inventory.
[00:37:00] Chelsey Donn: Right, same. I mean, it, it kind of makes a little bit of sense because especially if they're under new management, let's say they're looking to off load some product-
[00:37:09] Trey Gerrald: Right.
[00:37:09] Chelsey Donn: Maybe they've taken that off site, they've put it in a warehouse, they've like done something with it and somebody else is managing that. That doesn't seem so weird to me.
[00:37:17] Trey Gerrald: Right.
[00:37:17] Chelsey Donn: I mean, I just think Mariana was mean in this review, and I know that they wanted to make a point of saying like this isn't the way that I normally act, but we went out with a bang and then, I mean, pun intended, I guess in this case and it was really unnecessary and then at the end of the review, we received a prologue. Did you notice that?
[00:37:41] Trey Gerrald: Yes.
[00:37:42] Chelsey Donn: Like, all the sudden we got this prologue to what happened after you left and this experience at this other store. I don't know, I, I don't know if this would make me not buy something at Abracadabra online or go in there.
[00:37:58] Trey Gerrald: It's interesting to me because the description of it looking like everything has been sitting there for 10 years is Trey's personal experience of going into Abracadabra.
[00:38:07] Chelsey Donn: Okay.
[00:38:07] Trey Gerrald: It does have a feeling of, like, if you get a ba- a costume off the rack that's in a little like plastic bag that's like several in the back, I would imagine it's dusty.
[00:38:17] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.
[00:38:17] Trey Gerrald: That doesn't seem that out of bounds for me.
[00:38:20] Chelsey Donn: Right.
[00:38:21] Trey Gerrald: Um, from my experience having been there. Also, I do think the disco balls are always outrageously experience. But ma- Mariana really goes through like so many things are broken or-
[00:38:31] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.
[00:38:32] Trey Gerrald: Like pre-used.
[00:38:33] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, similar to the guy that was staying at the hotel that The Shining was based off. It's like are you an inspection officer, like going through each item and inventorying for us the damage? They, they were bragging about the other store and how it was brand new. So that was, that's like my point, I guess, for what you were just saying is I feel like that's sort of the vibe of these kind of costume stores is that like-
[00:38:54] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.
[00:38:54] Chelsey Donn: This is very old, in fact, I had a very negative [laughs] situation working on a commercial out here in LA where I had to be a flame thrower and they had this, like, silver flame thrower suit that they made me wear that for sure was in the back of like some, I don't know, like costume place for God knows how long it literally had bugs in it and I brought those bugs home, to my place of residence and had to get an exterminator. Like, it was like a nightmare. Yeah, so-
[00:39:27] Trey Gerrald: There, so there was another Abracadabra review that was like two sentences-
[00:39:31] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.
[00:39:31] Trey Gerrald: But it said, "A spider crawled out of this wig."
[00:39:34] Chelsey Donn: [laughs] Yeah, so I don't know.
[00:39:37] Trey Gerrald: I, I believe that this experience happened.
[00:39:40] Chelsey Donn: Right.
[00:39:41] Trey Gerrald: I do think that there's something going on emotionally with Mariana-
[00:39:46] Chelsey Donn: Yes.
[00:39:46] Trey Gerrald: That they went from zero to 100 so quickly-
[00:39:49] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.
[00:39:50] Trey Gerrald: Even though they've prefaced that this is out of character for them, but-
[00:39:53] Chelsey Donn: Agreed.
[00:39:53] Trey Gerrald: To mention a double headed dildo-
[00:39:56] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Bizarre.
[00:39:57] Trey Gerrald: As like a punishment, like, dildos are not for punishment, so that's already like perverse that you're thinking of it that way, and then also, like, douche bag and a hole and like, it's just like unnecessary.
[00:40:12] Chelsey Donn: And also, like, comparing him to Tony Soprano, like the whole thing was unnecessary and like borderline-
[00:40:17] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.
[00:40:18] Chelsey Donn: Offensive.
[00:40:18] Trey Gerrald: Also-
[00:40:19] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.
[00:40:20] Trey Gerrald: They're a hypocrite because the epilogue says that the other store conducted themselves with class. Well it doesn't seem like Mariana is very classy in the way that they are treating this Tony Soprano-
[00:40:31] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.
[00:40:31] Trey Gerrald: Look alike.
[00:40:32] Chelsey Donn: Look alike. Yeah, I just, I didn't, I didn't like their whole thing and I think that it's unfortunate when we have these reviews where there are elements of this, I guess, that could be valuable, like just, like you said, sort of knowing that it's not gonna be the cleanest place in the world. Don't expect it, don't expect things to not be broken because they're vintage and like they are probably gonna be broken. Um, if you have different expectations, go elsewhere, but that message really gets muddied.
[00:40:58] Trey Gerrald: Especially with the indignation that someone didn't know what a pith helmet is.
[00:41:02] Chelsey Donn: Right.
[00:41:02] Trey Gerrald: I understand that like this is a costume place and so you would think that they would have a deeper understanding about articles of clothing than maybe you and I.
[00:41:10] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.
[00:41:10] Trey Gerrald: But I don't know, I feel like if I was looking for something that specific, I would, I would be, I wouldn't be, uh, upset that I'd need to explain what it was.
[00:41:18] Chelsey Donn: Totally agree.
[00:41:19] Trey Gerrald: The spelling here is kind of funny. Like-
[00:41:21] Chelsey Donn: Okay.
[00:41:22] Trey Gerrald: I'm curious, maybe Mariana is not from the United States-
[00:41:25] Chelsey Donn: Okay.
[00:41:25] Trey Gerrald: Because they say the Tony poser is spelled P-O-S-E-U-R.
[00:41:32] Chelsey Donn: Oh interesting.
[00:41:32] Trey Gerrald: Seems very British to me.
[00:41:33] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Or maybe Canadian, I don't know.
[00:41:35] Trey Gerrald: I also loved when they say that the person went behind a velvet rope, parenthesis exclamation mark, parenthesis.
[00:41:42] Chelsey Donn: [laughs]
[00:41:42] Trey Gerrald: Like that's so funny, like-
[00:41:44] Chelsey Donn: Right, right, right, right.
[00:41:45] Trey Gerrald: Like a nonverbal like ah, exclamation mark.
[00:41:48] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, they definitely seem like they, they played around with their punctuation quite a bit.
[00:41:53] Trey Gerrald: I don't know, the value here, I don't think it's a deal breaker for me because I kind of have a negative feeling about Mariana from reading the review rather than the owner or the manager or like the person that was trying to help.
[00:42:06] Chelsey Donn: 100%.
[00:42:07] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. I don't know about that. I would not hang this on my fridge.
[00:42:11] Chelsey Donn: I would definitely not hang this on my fridge. Do you think we're ready to crown Mariana?
[00:42:15] Trey Gerrald: I think I am, yeah.
[00:42:16] Chelsey Donn: All right, let's crown her.
[00:42:19] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating.
[00:42:21] Trey Gerrald: Are you ready?
[00:42:22] Chelsey Donn: I'm ready.
[00:42:27] VOICEOVER: Total Score!
[00:42:29] Chelsey Donn: [laughs] My god Trey.
[00:42:30] Trey Gerrald: Wow.
[00:42:30] Chelsey Donn: All right, Trey is holding up three crowns and I'm holding up one crown. Okay, I'm, I'm holding up one crown because I just lost my trust of Mariana as my, like, narrator in this review. I just didn't like the fact that she was being such a big bully and I think that her messaging really got muddied by that tactic. I also think TMI with the epilogue and I just, I don't think it has any impact on me as to whether or not I go to this store. I would have to do a lot more research and a lot more deeper digging to find out a little more information about Abracadabra. Uh, that's why I gave Mariana one crown. How about you? Why did you give Mariana three crowns? I'm surprised.
[00:43:15] Trey Gerrald: I went with three because it is a little middle of the road. I, I think that Mariana's. Um, lack of anger management is like a little muddying.
[00:43:24] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.
[00:43:24] Trey Gerrald: But I did think that the picture they painted of the store is sort of how I have experienced Abracadabra in my life time.
[00:43:33] Chelsey Donn: Right. Right.
[00:43:34] Trey Gerrald: And I don't have a judgment call on that. I mean it's like, you know, it's a year round costume shop.
[00:43:38] Chelsey Donn: Right.
[00:43:39] Trey Gerrald: But, uh, I don't know, it wasn't humorous, I, I didn't like how it turned dark at the end, but there have been times where I have been on a mission for like something very specific for Halloween, so I, I appreciated-
[00:43:53] Chelsey Donn: Right.
[00:43:53] Trey Gerrald: Mariana mentioning the Army Na- Navy store across the street because it is like oh ga- I don't wanna get on the train and schlep and have all these-
[00:44:00] Chelsey Donn: Right. Right.
[00:44:00] Trey Gerrald: Like, um, I could also check at the Army Navy store, just as like a reminder, like it's neither here nor there, but I sort of appreciated that.
[00:44:07] Chelsey Donn: Okay.
[00:44:07] Trey Gerrald: So I went with three 'cause ultimately it's middle of the road, it's not a deal breaker to me. I feel more negatively about Mariana than I do about Abracadabra and so I said three.
[00:44:15] Chelsey Donn: For sure. Yes. Completely agree.
[00:44:18] Trey Gerrald: Awesome.
[00:44:19] Chelsey Donn: That was great. I didn't, I did look through these reviews and I, I, I passed Mariana, so I'm glad that you brought this in. This was great, Trey. Oh my god. Do you have a phone call to make?
[00:44:30] Trey Gerrald: Sorry, I, um, someone just keeps calling me and asking me if I like scary movies. It's really weird.
[00:44:35] Chelsey Donn: Oh. [laughs]
[00:44:36] Trey Gerrald: I told 'em I'm recording a podcast, he'll have to wait.
[00:44:39] My Royal Highness
[00:44:39] Chelsey Donn: [laughs] Alright my Queen, we've reached the most regal portion of our show. Who are you inducting, Trey for-
[00:44:49] VOICEOVER: My Royal Highness.
[00:44:51] Trey Gerrald: Okay, so I decided to induct the person who created this costume that I'm wearing, Kevin Williamson. Kevin Williamson is an actor writer who wrote the screenplay for Scream, Scream 2, Scream 4, producer on the new Scream 5 slash Scream that's coming out, um, in a couple months. Kevin Williamson also wrote I Know What You Did Last Summer, I Still Know What You Did Last Summer-
[00:45:18] Chelsey Donn: [laughs]
[00:45:18] Trey Gerrald: Dawson's Creek-
[00:45:20] Chelsey Donn: Oh wow.
[00:45:20] Trey Gerrald: The Faculty, Teaching Mrs. Tingle, The Following and The Vampire Diaries.
[00:45:25] Chelsey Donn: Wow.
[00:45:27] Trey Gerrald: So, okay-
[00:45:28] Chelsey Donn: So successful.
[00:45:28] Trey Gerrald: Kevin Williamson... I know, Kevin Williamson and I have the same exact birthday, March 14th, same as Albert Einstein and Taylor Hanson. He is from North Carolina, I'm from South Carolina as you all know from our last week's episode.
[00:45:41] Chelsey Donn: Yes.
[00:45:41] Trey Gerrald: Kevin Williamson went to East Carolina University, I went to Coastal Carolina University and we're both gay!
[00:45:49] Chelsey Donn: Lot of synchronicity. I think that you guys need to link up.
[00:45:52] Trey Gerrald: God, I wish, anyway, I love Kevin Williamson, I love... famously, I know too much trivia, so I just need to keep this short, but-
[00:45:59] Chelsey Donn: [laughs]
[00:45:59] Trey Gerrald: They famously wrote the screenplay to Scream, which was called Scary Movie at the time, over one weekend.
[00:46:08] Chelsey Donn: Wow.
[00:46:08] Trey Gerrald: He went away to a cabin and just like wrote the whole thing. There's this sequence in the movie, the first one where Sydney is locked inside the car, but the killer has the keys, and so like the, the-
[00:46:18] Chelsey Donn: Oh my god.
[00:46:18] Trey Gerrald: Locks just keep popping open and so she's-
[00:46:21] Chelsey Donn: That's so scary.
[00:46:21] Trey Gerrald: But that was from an MFA, like, short film that he wrote.
[00:46:26] Chelsey Donn: Oh wow.
[00:46:26] Trey Gerrald: Repurpose Queen, we love that.
[00:46:28] Chelsey Donn: Yes.
[00:46:28] Trey Gerrald: Also, Scream became such a huge bidding war before it even went into production, and so Kevin Williamson got a meeting with Warner Brothers and they were like, "What else are you working on?" And off the top of his head, completely pitched Dawson's Creek, fully with no, just made it up, just mouth talking, no thought. He just was in this meeting and was like, "Well, I have to say something," and-
[00:46:55] Chelsey Donn: 'Cause they were like, they were just like, "Do you got anything else?" And he was just like-
[00:46:57] Trey Gerrald: They're like, "Do you have any ideas for a TV show?"
[00:47:00] Chelsey Donn: Yes. Wow.
[00:47:00] Trey Gerrald: And Kevin grew up on a creek and like had a crush on the girl next door, and so he just pitched-
[00:47:06] Chelsey Donn: Stop.
[00:47:07] Trey Gerrald: Dawson's Creek
[00:47:08] Chelsey Donn: Wow.
[00:47:09] Trey Gerrald: I know, amazing.
[00:47:09] Chelsey Donn: That's amazing.
[00:47:10] Trey Gerrald: I just love him, I love everything that he's done. Obviously Scream like revitalized the entire horror genre in the 90s and, um, I just really appreciate that Kevin is like so committed to deep, authentic story telling in these like genres of horror where it's like not, you know, it wasn't always necessary in the 70s to have character development, but because Kevin has a history as an actor-
[00:47:33] Chelsey Donn: He gets it.
[00:47:33] Trey Gerrald: All of his characters are very rich. Um, so I'm inducting Kevin Williamson because, I mean-
[00:47:38] Chelsey Donn: Because of course.
[00:47:39] Trey Gerrald: We just really need a lot of entertainment always and, uh, I appreciate the length of his career and like the diversity of stories that he tells and for that reason, as Casey Becker, actually the second person to die in Scream, often thought of as the first, but the boyfriend's killed first-
[00:48:00] Chelsey Donn: [laughs]
[00:48:01] Trey Gerrald: I induct you, Kevin Williamson as My Royal Highness.
[00:48:04] Chelsey Donn: I love that. I'm so happy I know all of that now because I just, I love someone who, I mean, really what different genres, like Scream and Dawson's Creek were created by the same person? I know that now.
[00:48:20] Trey Gerrald: And Vampire Dairies.
[00:48:21] Chelsey Donn: And Vampire... I mean, wow, that's so cool. I love that. Anyway.
[00:48:24] Trey Gerrald: Anyway.
[00:48:25] Chelsey Donn: Yes.
[00:48:25] Trey Gerrald: All right, Chelsey, who are you inducting today for My Royal Highness?
[00:48:29] Chelsey Donn: I wanted to induct today all of the grocery store employees 'cause I feel like we, like, forgot to be grateful. Like for a minute we were like, "Thank you so much to all these grocery store employees," and then we just stopped thanking them and I just wanted to thank them again because I think they do so much and they show up and we need them. We need them to be there. If they weren't there keeping the doors open, we wouldn't have our food and be able to eat at night. I mean, it's a really critical job that I don't think we, we think about it as much as we probably should and now, I mean, now with like having to make sure that everybody's wearing a mask in the store in addition to everything else, it's like you've suddenly become a grocery store checkout person and a COVID compliance officer which you, you know, had no intention of doing and now you're finding yourself in conversations that you wouldn't have had to have before and you're not the person that's making this policy, but you're the one that has to represent the grocery store. And I just think there's so much put on them and I wanna make all the grocery store workers, uh, My Royal Highness and say thank you. Thank you guys.
[00:49:33] Trey Gerrald: Such an epic, such an epic induction. Like, so worthy too.
[00:49:39] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, ah, love this.
[00:49:41] Trey Gerrald: Love it. All right, well we did it, queen. We have made it through the scary, scary Halloween edition of Review That Review.
[00:49:52] Chelsey Donn: We did it. Oh my goodness, there goes the scary music. Okay, thank you guys so much for joining us today. Thank you for joining us always. We are so, so appreciative that you guys show up and if you like what you heard, will you do us a favor, like a really significant favor for us that might not seem like that big of a deal to you, can you tell a friend about the show? Can you share it with your community if you're into it?
[00:50:14] Trey Gerrald: And if you didn't like what you heard, can you do us a really big solid, it may not seem like a big deal to you-
[00:50:20] Chelsey Donn: [laughs]
[00:50:20] Trey Gerrald: But it is a big deal to us, can you please tell an enemy and maybe post about it, maybe send it along, maybe like go to Reddit and write about us? Um, we would also really love for you to join our mailing list if you are not already on it so that you can stay up to date with all of the goings on in the queendom. We currently have a newsletter exclusive raffle where you could win a gorgeous insulated water bottle that doesn't have one of those weird things that Chelsey's complaint was this week. Uh, so visit our website, ReviewThatReview.com to join, or you can click a link that I will put in the show description below.
[00:50:56] Chelsey Donn: And don't forget, we wanna hear from you Queens. Hit up our voicemail box, 1-850-review-0. You can also follow us on all of the socials @thereviewqueens. I'm @chelseybd.
[00:51:11] Trey Gerrald: And I'm @treygerrald. Become a member of the Royal Court by joining our Patreon at Patreon.com/reviewthatreview.
[00:51:19] Chelsey Donn: And remember, ignore the haters... and the ghosts. You're a queen.
[00:51:25] Trey Gerrald: Gender non specific queen.
[00:51:26] Chelsey Donn: Bye.
[00:51:28] Trey Gerrald: Toodle-oodle-oo. Have fun trick or treating.
[00:51:32] Chelsey Donn: Don't look behind you.
[00:51:33] Trey Gerrald: He's behind me, isn't he? I thought I heard the sliding glass door open. He's in the house.
Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.
[00:51:52] Chelsey Donn: You didn't think we were done yet, did you, Patreon? We're still here.
[00:51:59] Trey Gerrald: Should we tell some fun Halloween stories?
[00:52:03] Chelsey Donn: I think we should.
Photo by Girl with red hat on Unsplash
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