Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 22: "Pepto-Bismol Chews / Le Bernardin"
THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.
Every Californian and Virginian.
It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.
Someone's gotta settle the score.
Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!
Whose views win, which ones lose.
Online haters are comin' for you!
Baby, it's time to Review That Review!
[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hello.
[00:00:31] Trey Gerrald: Hi everyone. Welcome to Review That Review! The podcast dedicated to reviewing
[00:00:37] Chelsey Donn: Reviews. We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.
[00:00:48] Trey Gerrald: That's Chelsey Donn.
[00:00:49] Chelsey Donn: And that's Trey Gerrald!
[00:00:51] Trey Gerrald: And together we're
[00:00:53] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens.
[00:00:57] Trey Gerrald: Hey Chelsey girl. How's your crown.
[00:00:59] Chelsey Donn: Hey Trey. My crown is good. I just had a very productive writing meeting with Amy and we made some nice decisions and edits. And I'm very excited about the direction of this next draft. So just coming off of the excitement of that!
[00:01:17] Trey Gerrald: Yay!
[00:01:17] Chelsey Donn: To get even more excitement by being here in recording this podcast with you, how is your week going, Trey?
[00:01:24] Trey Gerrald: I'm having a really good week. You know, it was actually a little gloomy out today, which was a little bizarre. And, um, our fire alarm batteries just started dying throughout the house, but they're connected to like ADT. So when you unscrew it to change the battery, an alarm goes off, which is like really obnoxious. And then they're like not standard batteries. Like they're like a very specific kind and I'm not going to buy them from ADT. So I had to like order them on Amazon, you know, there'll be coming tomorrow. Yeah, exactly. That's occurring. But you know, it's such a gift to be able to have fire protection.
[00:02:01] Chelsey Donn: Do you hear that, like, 'beep...beep?'
[00:02:03] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. Yeah. I had to deal with it. Cause I didn't want it to show up in this recording.
[00:02:07] Chelsey Donn: Oh yeah. Oh good point. Yeah. Yeah. That's a lot.
[00:02:11] Trey Gerrald: Anyway. Well, is there anything specific that you would like to complain about? Would you maybe like to,
[00:02:18] Lodge A Complaint!
[00:02:18] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint!
[00:02:19] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, I need to lodge a complaint today, as it turns out, I want a Lodge A Complaint. I don't know who my Complaint should really be directed to if it's just that like, I want more sympathy or what it is, but like I want to lodge a complaint against period cramps. And I'm sorry if like our male audience has exited, but like it's a real thing. And. The worst thing about it is that it has, you have it, you experience it on the one hand. You're like, okay, thank God. At least for me, it's like, I PCOS. So I'm like, oh, I'm healthy. It's coming. Like, I'm, I'm grateful, but like I'm in pain and it's annoying. And I have to know that if all things go well, like if everything goes, according to plan, I will be in this pain again in a month. I just don't think we talk about it enough openly. It's just like amongst girlfriends, you're kind of like, Ugh, can you believe this? This is terrible. The worst cramps. And they're all like, I understand, I hear you girl. But I think globally let's have this conversation because women were just walking through the world like this, still running, running things and getting things done. But you know, it's real. So I'm lodging a complaint.
[00:03:25] Trey Gerrald: Well, You know, I have a friend who has 'P-COS' as well. And ... Callback!
[00:03:30] Chelsey Donn: I don't know, did we do that in the rehearsals or in an episode? I don't know if people know about that.
[00:03:36] Trey Gerrald: I think I remember transcribing it, so I think it is in an actual episode
[00:03:39] Chelsey Donn: Oh, it's in the Laverne Cox..
[00:03:42] Trey Gerrald: Episode one, two or three. One of those. Yes, yes, no, I hear you. It makes me think of, I'm not similar, but it is similar. There is this whole culture of, female suppression, something that really bothers me. And I think there is a comedian who has this in their thing, but it ha it is something that has always bothered me. Why are pad commercials? Why don't they use a blue liquid to simulate the effect? I understand red is like, like it is gross, but it's like, but we all know what a pad is for. Like, when you change the color, it's just perpetuating this. Shh. We don't talk about the female body. Like you know, there's so much systematic stuff against women that you know, it's stupid.
[00:04:28] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. It really is. I mean,
[00:04:30] Trey Gerrald: I'm sorry you're cramping.
[00:04:31] Chelsey Donn: Thank you. Thank you for saying that. Cause like, Ooh, it's been a day in terms of that.
[00:04:37] Trey Gerrald: So I applaud you for being productive today in the midst.
[00:04:41] Chelsey Donn: Yes. If I was like in school and in gym class, I would be like, I need to sit out today. You know, I'm not going swimming. Anyway, that's my Complaint. Tell us, Trey, what's going on with your life?
[00:04:55] Trey Gerrald: Okay. So this occurred to me the moment after I closed my complaint about parallel parking. So I'm, I have to Lodge it because it's related and, and I don't, there is no solution. There's no way to fix the problem unless we paint slots, but I'm talking about parallel parking, the little tiny gaps from when someone has parked not close enough, or someone has parked too close. And then the rest of that side of the street goes along with fitting onto the street. So then there's not enough spot left, but there's just a tiny little sliver.
[00:05:34] Chelsey Donn: Right. Because if you had a motorcycle, you would be good, but the car..
[00:05:38] Trey Gerrald: Or one of those weird compacts, like two-door cars, it just, it makes me so angry when it's like, you see that someone could have parked closer, but then you're like, well maybe whoever was there.
[00:05:50] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. We don't know when the dominoes started. It's like, did it, where are you the person in front of you? Or they just like doing what they need to do and following along or did they start it?
[00:06:00] Trey Gerrald: So it bothers me because we have lines for parking lots. So why don't we have lines for parallel parking? Is it because of motorcycles and smaller size vehicles? I mean, maybe it would be more obnoxious if like,
[00:06:13] Chelsey Donn: If there were lines? Well also it's just, yeah. I mean, there are lines when you're, you're when you're paying at like a pay meter thingy.
[00:06:21] Trey Gerrald: Correct.
[00:06:22] Chelsey Donn: So like, there are times in LA where you'll parallel park and there will be lines because you got to pay for it. But if it's free, it's not coming with lines.
[00:06:31] Trey Gerrald: Right. I, so like where did that, where did that logic start? I don't know. I don't know what the solution is, but it really,
[00:06:38] Chelsey Donn: I wonder if it's just cause there's all different sizes of cars parking, you can street park your humongous van, if you should be so lucky to find a large enough spot, or you could street park a smart car, whereas maybe with some of these metered parking, it's like, okay, well, if you can't fit there, then you gotta find a commercial lot somewhere or something.
[00:06:57] Trey Gerrald: And I do think that it is an issue that only arises in ginormous cities, where there is such a surplus of vehicles, because if it isn't like that many cars, then you don't really ever encounter the situation where there's a little bit of a gap that is too small for a car, but like could almost fit a car, you know? Like that drives me crazy.
[00:07:19] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Like it's the worst when you're circling or when someone's like, what about that spot? And you're like, I don't know how, like, how am I supposed to just put myself into a shrink wrap thing and,
[00:07:29] Trey Gerrald: oh, it's going to be a fire hydrant. And then you walk in, it's not, it's just small.
[00:07:34] Chelsey Donn: A small spot exactly. Or hate when it's just like a little bit too small, but whatever.
[00:07:40] Trey Gerrald: The worst. All right. Well, I do feel better that is out in the open and I think Chelsey. We should jump into some online reviews.
[00:07:48] Chelsey Donn: I think we should jump into some online reviews. That's a great idea. Let's do that. So as you guys already know, thank you for listening in again, we are your trusty Review Queens. We each bring in a review from the internet that we feel needs to be inspected.
[00:08:02] Trey Gerrald: We read you the review, we break it down and we rate the impact of that review on a scale from one to five crowns, it is a very Regal process that Chelsey and I call
[00:08:12] VOICEOVER: Assess That Kvetch!
[00:08:14] Chelsey Donn: Alright, you're first, today.
[00:08:15] Trey Gerrald: Okey dokey pokey.
[00:08:17] Chelsey Donn: Take it away, RQ! ...just warming up for Meryl-Go-Round just in case I have to do Opera Diva later.
[00:08:25] Trey Gerrald: I don't know if my stomach can handle this.
[00:08:27] Chelsey Donn: You can handle this, Trey. You got this!
[00:08:31] Pepto-Bismol Chews Review
[00:08:31] VOICEOVER: Review, That Review.
[00:08:35] Trey Gerrald: All right. Today I have a two star review from amazon.com. This is for Pepto-Bismol!
[00:08:44] Chelsey Donn: Yes.
[00:08:45] Trey Gerrald: From AmazonCustomer. I know, I wish they had like a name name, but they don't. That's what the name is.
[00:08:53] Chelsey Donn: All right. I'm fine with it, I guess...
[00:08:54] Trey Gerrald: Okay. And this is for the Pepto-Bismol Chews.
[00:08:59] Chelsey Donn: K.
[00:09:00] Trey Gerrald: I've been using there for about two months and I noticed the areas of my teeth that touch, the places residual product is left on my teeth, is now stained dark brown slash black. I've always had extremely white teeth. My dental hygienist is religious. I am extremely upset that my teeth have been stained now. No amount of scraping brushing or white strips seems to improve it. I also tried discontinuing use of the product for two plus weeks and no luck.
[00:09:44] Trey Gerrald: This seems like grounds for a lawsuit to be perfectly honest. I literally don't know if my teeth will ever go back to normal or how long it will take. Meanwhile, I go around like a fool with white teeth and black spots between my teeth. I will upload pics once I charge my phone. Flavor: two out of five stars. Too chewy and flavor is nothing special, almost like a M and M except Pepto flavored. Travel: three out of five stars.
[00:10:25] Trey Gerrald: Earlier today, I tried to put one of the bottles in my pocket while I walked out the car to work. I had to take them out because of how utterly loud and annoying the rattling noise was. I even tried putting a paper towel in there to stop them from moving. Didn't work. So now I just put a few chewables in my pocket. If you sweat or move a lot, this starts to degrade the physical integrity of the chewable. I can't speak about the chemical integrity of the product actually working. They seem to do something at least to help an upset stomach. Value: they should be paying me after I stained my beautiful white teeth, which I would receive compliments for regularly.
[00:11:19] Trey Gerrald: I don't even know how to get my teeth back to normal, what an absolute nightmare. Dash dash dash And no, the stains are not from something else, such as diet or over brushing. I have done dental slash hygienist shadowing as I am applying to dental school. So I have some knowledge of the field already.
[00:11:43] Chelsey Donn: Wow. I feel like the dentist school was a plot twist.
[00:11:46] Trey Gerrald: I know!
[00:11:48] Chelsey Donn: Did not see that coming from AmazonCustomer.
[00:11:51] Trey Gerrald: AmazonCustomer.
[00:11:54] Chelsey Donn: AmazonCustomer. Wow.
[00:11:57] Trey Gerrald: Have you ever had Pepto-Bismol chewables?
[00:11:59] Chelsey Donn: I think they have, are these the ones that are Starburst, like, or they're like maybe like more like a mento.
[00:12:06] Trey Gerrald: I'm so glad that we're clarifying this. Yes, because these are actually in a clear plastic bottle and they do look like pink-colored Mentos. It's not the like pop out of fibers. No, no, no. There's a different one where they're like in like those classic, like aluminum foil, plastic containers, and you pop one out and
[00:12:27] Chelsey Donn: the chalky ones,
[00:12:28] Trey Gerrald: this is not chalk. This is like a Pepto-Bismol
[00:12:32] Chelsey Donn: mento
[00:12:33] Trey Gerrald: mentos.
[00:12:34] Chelsey Donn: Yes. Now this is where I'm confused. First of all, like very, I'm going to say right off the bat, in terms of effort. Well, first of all, did they ever upload the pictures? I'm guessing no.
[00:12:44] Trey Gerrald: No, they never, they never did upload any images. So I guess their phone is still uncharged.
[00:12:50] Chelsey Donn: Okay, well, that removes a little bit of my trust from, from AmazonCustomer, because they did not fulfill their promise to me as the Review reader. However, what makes AmazonCustomer a candidate for Review Queendom is the fact that in the middle of the Review!, they start to sort of do their own assessing of the Kvetch, as you will. And they talk about the taste. They, you know, they give the nod where the nod is due. They talk about the travel experience, the value, a lot of, a lot of things that you and I talk about. So I, you know, I, I know, I I'm wondering, I chuckled at the sentence, the dental hygienists is religious. So are they saying that...
[00:13:34] Trey Gerrald: ...they're hasidic...
[00:13:34] Chelsey Donn: ...they visit exactly. Are they saying that they visit the dental hygienists religiously or that they're dental hygienists? Not only are they amazing at doing a scaling and a cleaning, but they pray over the teeth as well?
[00:13:50] Trey Gerrald: I mean, I took AmazonCustomer to be saying that the dental hygienist is religious at their work that they're like very detailed.
[00:13:59] Chelsey Donn: OH, interesting. Okay. A third, third interpretation.
[00:14:02] Trey Gerrald: But it is an odd sentence structure.
[00:14:06] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I mean, this is where I got confused. I think so if this happened to me, you know, me, I'm the, I'm the daughter of a dentist. I'm very OCD about my own teeth. And so if I was using a product and it turned my teeth black or gave me like spots, something I've never had before, I would freak out, completely lose my mind and probably write a review about it too. I get it. However, The part where I was a little lost is then they're talking about travel and they're like, so now I just put them in my pocket and now I just do this. And I'm wondering, where are we in space and time? Like, is it that you used to put them in your pocket and travel around? And as soon as you realize this was the issue, you stopped using them altogether, or are you still using this product because it works for your stomach?
[00:14:56] Trey Gerrald: That was my question too, because they say I tried discontinuing use of the product for two plus weeks. How many, how often do you have to take Pepto-Bismol. Oh, this is something you take every single day of your life. If so, I think you need to see the doctor.
[00:15:12] Chelsey Donn: Well, that's, that's where I think there's a little bit of confusion in this Review is it that I tried discontinuing the product. I like, I've been trying as in, like, it's been two and a half weeks where I've been Pepto free and it's still an issue?
[00:15:27] Trey Gerrald: Right, what is the actual timeframe here?
[00:15:29] Chelsey Donn: Right. Or is it that I took off two and a half weeks and then figured, well, it's not taking them away. So I might as well continue use the product. Like I I'm a little confused.
[00:15:38] Trey Gerrald: It is confusing, especially because they go into the breakdown of like flavor travel value after that. So,
[00:15:45] Chelsey Donn: So is it that we need an edit to like the order of events a little bit more so that you're taking me through your whole experience?
[00:15:53] Trey Gerrald: No, because it says I tried discontinuing use of this product for two plus weeks, and then it says travel earlier today. I tried to put one of the bottles in my pocket.
[00:16:06] Chelsey Donn: Okay, that's ridiculous!
[00:16:07] Trey Gerrald: So they went back to using it again.
[00:16:09] Chelsey Donn: That's insane.
[00:16:10] Trey Gerrald: And then they wrote the review after going back to the product today,
[00:16:14] Chelsey Donn: Right! Okay. This does not, this review, this review just plummeted. In value.
[00:16:19] Trey Gerrald: It's like, they were like, so upset about looking like a fool with white teeth, but black between the teeth. And then they like took a break and then they're like, I really just need this when I'm going grocery shopping. So then they tried to put it in. It was too rattling and loud and they're like, that's it. I'm going on Amazon. Cause I am AmazonCustomer. Wait, what do you think of the fact that they tried to put this bottle in their pocket? And it was rattling because it's little Mentos things inside of a plastic bottle.
[00:16:50] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Like what else is this was, but I love that they, they had options. Like they tried the cotton, you know, they tried to do things to remedy that situation that didn't work. Like if I have this bottle of Tylenol in my pocket, it would be rattling around all over town.
[00:17:08] Trey Gerrald: Yes. So do these lozenges. And so does Altoids. It's like everything,
[00:17:12] Chelsey Donn: Everything rattles!
[00:17:13] Trey Gerrald: Even change in your pocket rattles,
[00:17:16] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. We're rattling all the time. We're rattling right now.
[00:17:19] Trey Gerrald: I'm also, I want to acknowledge the, um, the grammar is interesting because they like all caps. Flavor. And then travel about like, that's an interesting, and then it has like the epilogue at the end, like the dash dash. And no, it isn't because I'm gross, but there are a lot of spelling problems here.
[00:17:37] Chelsey Donn: I was going to say. It sounded like in the beginning there were some errors where there were some sentences that...
[00:17:42] Trey Gerrald: Well, I'm glad you said that. Cause literally the first word of this review is I've and it's just spelled IVE.
[00:17:49] Chelsey Donn: No, without the apostrophe, but, but there was this bear. There was like a, 'there' yeah, that was wrong..
[00:17:55] Trey Gerrald: Let me read it again. Yeah. I've been using there for about two months and I noticed the areas of my teeth that touch the places residual product is left on my teeth is now stained dark brown black. What?
[00:18:13] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, that whole sentence needed a full rewrite. Like what is it that I, so I really have to read between the lines and say you've been using them for however long.
[00:18:25] Trey Gerrald: Or these, I think.
[00:18:26] Chelsey Donn: or these. Yeah. For however long. And now you're noticing that the residual powder, which comes off the top of the mento
[00:18:36] Trey Gerrald: that's what's causing black.
[00:18:39] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. The residual pink powder that is coming off of the mento is getting in between your teeth and then over time, turning black... brush your teeth like immediately after you use it then. I don't know. Why are they leaving this around.
[00:18:52] Trey Gerrald: Do they not floss? But then, this is 'on the go.'
[00:18:56] Chelsey Donn: Oh, right, true. You can't brush immediately.
[00:18:58] Trey Gerrald: Do you think they're being truthful? Like, do you think this is actually occurring?
[00:19:01] Chelsey Donn: I'm sure that products, I think, you know, everybody's teeth, uh, like biology's a little bit different and some people are a little bit more sensitive to, uh, stains and I'd venture to say, depending on how often we're even getting cleanings and things like that, maybe we're, we're removing that, that front piece of anomal from the tooth. And then if we do that, then we are leaving the tooth a little bit more susceptible to staining because you know, that's what happens when you erode, um, the front front layer of the teeth. So.
[00:19:34] Trey Gerrald: But they're saying it's the crevices between, which is so weird. I do appreciate the sentence. Meanwhile, I go around like a fool.
[00:19:43] Chelsey Donn: This is where I feel for that for AmazonCustomer. I feel for AmazonCustomer with like, that was like my thing, you know, like like a guy that has the most amazing hair, but then like goes bald or something like that. Like that's like everywhere you went, all people would say is like, oh my God, you have the best teeth. You have the best hair. You're the best, whatever. And then all of a sudden that's taken away. And I think that emotion of that loss for AmazonCustomer is really making her them heated and upset. And I think that that's clouding the Review a little bit here and maybe clouding the logic of the review because if AmazonCustomer and I were to sit down and have a conversation about this, I would say maybe we should try a different product if we're having stomach issues. Maybe we shouldn't continue using this product.
[00:20:38] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. Do we think that this really is coming from this or do we think there's something else that is occurring in AmazonCustomers life
[00:20:44] Chelsey Donn: I really think amazonCustomer wanted to jump the gun on that question when they were alone and no, it's not coffee or diet Coke or whatever else. I mean, can we ever be super certain. I don't think so. I, I just think like the main place where AmazonCustomer loses me is that they're still using the product. Like if I ha and they give it what, two, two stars,
[00:21:07] Trey Gerrald: two out of five.
[00:21:08] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. So if I had such a negative experience with the product and I was 1000% confident that my use of this product was causing a problem in such a big problem, that my entire value of myself, which is a big part of that is my amazing smile was being put at risk. I certainly would never use that product again. And so the fact that we, AmazonCustomer is continuing to use this product. It does make me question the way that they're explaining this and whether it is in fact as big of a deal as they are making it out to be, because I just don't think you would continue doing that. And like you said, Ideally Pepto-Bismol is something that you take every once in a while when you have a stomach problem, if you had more of something problem, I would think that you would be on something a little bit more. Long-term a little more regular. That being said. I just think it's sus. It's very sus to continue to use a product after it's done this. And if that's not true and the timeline is shifted, then AmazonCustomer has left me confused.
[00:22:12] Trey Gerrald: I mean, I think I can count those. How about you?
[00:22:14] Chelsey Donn: I think I can crown it. Yeah.
[00:22:16] Trey Gerrald: Okay. So Chelsey and I each have our own set of one to five crown cards and in an effort to be fair and not influenced by one another, we will simultaneously reveal our rating.
[00:22:29] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating.
[00:22:32] Trey Gerrald: You ready?
[00:22:33] Chelsey Donn: I'm ready.
[00:22:33] VOICEOVER: Total Score!.
[00:22:38] Chelsey Donn: Oh, interesting. Okay. I am holding up two and a half crowns and Trey is holding up three and a half crowns. I gave AmazonCustomer two and a half crowns because of the intrigue I now have about this. Like, I'm going to go ask my dad about this and see if I need to be concerned the next time I'm using Pepto. So for that, you've definitely piqued my interest. Also, you're a Queen in the sense that you broke everything down and you had your own rubric, I respected that. I thought that was cool. Uh, where you lost me. I feel like you almost, AmazonCustomer, have a pumpacity, a pompousness about your dental awareness. Um, I think you're really throwing that in the reviewers face. Like I want you to know that I go to the dentist all the time. I'm in dental school. I'm okay. Cool. Cool, cool, cool. Cool. Like, chill, the person that's reading this Review doesn't really need all that information. And I think that we could get our message across in a more clear way. Also. Of course we lost points just for spelling grammar and that whole universe. And we also lost points. Cause I'm confused. I'm I don't know. I don't know if I can trust you or not, AmazonCustomer, one because you're living in the dark, girlfriend or boyfriend or themfriend you're, you're just, you're living in the dark. You're hiding behind AmazonCustomer. I don't know who you are. And you're telling me things that don't really add up. So I'm a little suspicious and that's why I'm giving you two and a half crowns. How about you, Trey. Why three and a half?
[00:24:07] Trey Gerrald: I did three and a half because I think there is an impact here for me. Like I think that I would just stick with the chalk version chewables rather than these be strictly because I'm like, well, I don't want to mess up my teeth, but there is something about it. Like I, I took two and a half off. Nope. I took one and a half off because I don't know. I feel like I do feel like we might be missing a little something to the story here. And they're just so protesting so much about dental knowledge that it makes the, a little confused and the whole traveling conversation. I get that these are chewables on the go, but, um, obviously if you take a bottle and walk around with it, it's going to rattle. So like, I don't, I don't think that that's specifically like a knock against this product. So for that reason I gave it three and a half.
[00:24:58] Chelsey Donn: Nice. Good review! lots to, lots to chew...
[00:25:02] Trey Gerrald: ...chew on...
[00:25:03] Chelsey Donn: lots to chew on! We said the same thing. Lot's to chew on there, Trey. Love it.
[00:25:08] Trey Gerrald: All right. So let's take a quick break. And when we come back, we can get into Chelsey Donn's review!
[00:25:15] Chelsey Donn: Can't wait. BRB
[00:25:19] VOICEOVER: Hold your crown. We'll be right back.
[00:25:31] Superchewer.com/queen Offer
[00:25:31] Trey Gerrald: Chelsey and I are so excited to share this exclusive Review Queen offer from superchewer.com that is worthy of five crowns, honey child. Now from the makers of BarkBox, Super Chewer is a monthly subscription-based service for those dogs that need tougher and more durable toys. Every month, you and your pup will receive a box right to your front door that is loaded with two tough toys that are always fluff-free, two meaty chews, and two full sized bags of treats that are customizable for allergy and diet preferences. Plus all Super Chewer treats are always made in the USA and Canada with globally sourced ingredients and never contain corn wheat or soy.
[00:26:16] Trey Gerrald: Now close your eyes, unless you're driving, and imagine the joy your dog will have when that pesky mailman brings something that is just for them once a month. Super Chewer is offering listeners of Review That Review one extra month free, which is a $45 value, child. When you use our link, www.superchewer.com/queen
[00:26:40] Trey Gerrald: Super Chewer comes with a 100% happiness guarantee. So if a toy isn't tough enough, they will replace it 100% free of charge. Now what dog doesn't want to take that challenge? Sign up right now at superchewer.com/queen and give your good boys something that is good enough for them.
[00:26:59] Trey Gerrald: www.superchewer.com/Queen
[00:27:14] Trey Gerrald: Weew-weew-weeew! It's Game Time! It's time for Chelsey and Trey to play One-Star-Zingers on the Meryl-Go-Round!
[00:27:44] Chelsey Donn: Here's the deal now I'm not going to do it. Cause I can't do that to you guys. Trey and I have each picked a rotten, scathing, pithy One-Star-Zinger and with 30 seconds on the clock and not a second more, we'll take turns, trying to recite the zinger in as many genres as possible
[00:28:03] Trey Gerrald: Just like Queen Meryl Streep who does it all!
[00:28:05] Chelsey Donn: Before the clock runs out. And I'm going first.
[00:28:08] Trey Gerrald: I really like saying that so fast. I don't know why, but okay.
[00:28:10] Chelsey Donn: It just feels very game showy. Like I feel like game show you always, they always like include a final phrase that they it's like I'm giving, getting like Mark Summers vibes.
[00:28:20] Trey Gerrald: Results not typical.
[00:28:22] Chelsey Donn: Right? Exactly. All right. So my one star zinger is from Walmart and it is a One-Star-Zinger written by Jose for a Lawn Flamingo. They very small not how they look on the picture.
[00:28:45] Trey Gerrald: Uh, how many are there?
[00:28:47] Chelsey Donn: ...not how they look on the picture. Three,
[00:28:50] Trey Gerrald: Oh, okay. All right. Are you ready?
[00:28:53] Chelsey Donn: I am. What am I strapped into?
[00:28:55] Trey Gerrald: Tonight you are strapped in, on another Florida animal, a crocodile, or they alligators?
[00:29:03] Chelsey Donn: Tick Tock.
[00:29:04] Trey Gerrald: What does Florida? Alligator Alley? It's an alligator.
[00:29:08] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Either way it could be in Captain Hook. I just always think of like the clock. Yes. Right? Exactly. All right. So let's do this.
[00:29:17] VOICEOVER: 3, 2, 1,
[00:29:20] VOICEOVER: GO!
[00:29:21] VOICEOVER: WWE.
[00:29:21] VOICEOVER: They are very small, not how they look on the
[00:29:24] VOICEOVER: picture.
[00:29:26] VOICEOVER: Lifetime.
[00:29:28] VOICEOVER: They very small, not how they look on the picture, what that was being news. They, there, he smells not how they look on the picture. Teen drama,
[00:29:46] VOICEOVER: televangelist.
[00:29:48] VOICEOVER: Very small, not how they look on the
[00:29:50] VOICEOVER: picture.
[00:29:53] Trey Gerrald: You got five my Queen.
[00:29:54] Chelsey Donn: Okay.
[00:29:55] Trey Gerrald: Good job!
[00:29:56] Chelsey Donn: I feel like diminishing returns for me, but here we go. That's okay. What did you bring in?
[00:30:01] Trey Gerrald: Okay. I found this, uh, for the hometown episode, but then I went with the boil peanuts, but this one is still very good. So this is a One-Star-Zinger from Amazon by Adam D. This is for the Heinz Carolina Mustard Style, sweet mustard, barbecue sauce, and
[00:30:23] Chelsey Donn: wait, sweet mustard, barbecue sauce?
[00:30:26] Trey Gerrald: You know, barbecue sauce. Like if you're a Southern style, barbecue sauce as mustard base.
[00:30:31] Chelsey Donn: I didn't know that.
[00:30:32] Trey Gerrald: And the normal barbecue sauce is like ketchup based.
[00:30:35] Chelsey Donn: I had no idea. That's a thing.
[00:30:37] Trey Gerrald: Oh yeah. Yeah. So there you go. So Heinz started making a Southern style.
[00:30:41] Chelsey Donn: Interesting. Okay.
[00:30:42] Trey Gerrald: And Adam's subject is bleck, B L E C K, exclamation mark. And then his rev Adam's review is bleeh. No, no, no, no. And bleeh is spelled B L E E E E H. So that the subject is bleck and then the review is bleeeeh.
[00:31:07] Chelsey Donn: Wow. What diversity in one Review! Adam. Good. Where you are strap. I have you strapped into like a Florida orange. Yeah?
[00:31:21] Trey Gerrald: So sweet and yummy.
[00:31:22] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I think that would be a good look for you. Plus I just feel like you're someone who could ride round things, obviously like the eight ball.
[00:31:29] Trey Gerrald: It makes me think of that episode of Top Model. Okay.
[00:31:33] Chelsey Donn: Yes, exactly. It's exactly like that!
[00:31:35] Trey Gerrald: All right. I'm trying to get a podcast record with this review. So get ready. Get your fingers ready. And I'm going to try to be as acting style, Meryl as possible.
[00:31:46] Chelsey Donn: We are bringing Meryl into the room with us. Okay.
[00:31:51] Trey Gerrald: I'm on my, my orange
[00:31:52] Chelsey Donn: Get strapped into your orange!
[00:31:54] VOICEOVER: 3, 2, 1, GO!
[00:31:58] VOICEOVER: Game show.
[00:32:00] VOICEOVER: No, no, no, no.
[00:32:02] VOICEOVER: Yankee?
[00:32:05] VOICEOVER: No, no,
[00:32:06] VOICEOVER: no, no
[00:32:09] VOICEOVER: opera diva
[00:32:14] VOICEOVER: mellow drama. No, no, no,
[00:32:18] VOICEOVER: no.
[00:32:32] Chelsey Donn: Oh my goodness. Let's see how you did, Trey.
[00:32:35] Trey Gerrald: I don't think I got, I don't think it was a record.
[00:32:37] Chelsey Donn: It's not a record, but we tied five and five! Is that the second time in a row we've tied?
[00:32:45] Trey Gerrald: And we tied on the live.
[00:32:46] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God. We've been tying lately
[00:32:48] Trey Gerrald: We're SO in sync!
[00:32:50] Chelsey Donn: So Fun.
[00:32:51] Trey Gerrald: Are you going to devour me?
[00:32:58] Le Bernardin Review
[00:32:58] VOICEOVER: Review That Review?
[00:33:02] Chelsey Donn: At least we're having fun.
[00:33:03] Trey Gerrald: That sound kinda scared me in real life.
[00:33:06] Chelsey Donn: I'm glad.
[00:33:08] Trey Gerrald: All right. So we're back from the game break. And now it's, Chelsey's turn. Chelsey girl. Where's your review from this week?
[00:33:14] Chelsey Donn: So glad you asked. Okay. So my Review!, it's a little unusual, you know, I usually bring in the one star reviews, but today I'm bringing in a three-star review, which is a show first for me. This is a three star Yelp review written by Mark M for the restaurant, Le Bernardin.
[00:33:34] Chelsey Donn: This review was tough for me to write and it might even be tougher for you all to read. Oh, I wanted to love this place. I really did. And while the food was nothing short of amazing. The service here left a lot to be desired.
[00:33:55] Chelsey Donn: You see, you always hear about how great the service is in fine dining, especially so at any restaurant rated highly in the Michelin guide, but at Le Bernardin, it just felt so distant. So cold. I walked in on a weekday afternoon for lunch. I wanted to have a seat in the lounge. I didn't have a jacket on this trip and I knew the dress code for the lounge did not require one.
[00:34:23] Chelsey Donn: Mind you. I was dressed just fine for the lounge. I wore dark jeans, black dress shoes, and I had on a collared long sleeve button shirt with the sleeves rolled up. When I approached, who appeared to be the maitre D, I asked if I could have lunch in the lounge. And he looked over the lounge, which was completely empty and said, 'sure.'
[00:34:45] Chelsey Donn: The wait staff did not smile. It honestly didn't seem like they were eager to assist me with my menu choices, filling my water or asking me how my day has been going thus far as I mentioned before, it felt cold and it wasn't because they ended up being busy. The only other party in the lounge consisted of three young women who appeared to be on a business lunch. Throughout the meal, the maitre D and several hostess type people would look over and I would smile or nod my head, but I got absolutely no response.
[00:35:22] Chelsey Donn: Needless to say the entire meal felt very awkward. And if it wasn't for the amazing food, I might've even walked out! Anyways about the food. Le Bernardin has always been lauded as this Mecca of seafood. Many people have said that Le Bernardin is North America's best seafood restaurant, is it? Yes, it is. Le Bernardin is literally the best seafood restaurant that I've ever been to. Every dish was flawless.
[00:35:54] Chelsey Donn: I started out with the hamachi tartar. The hamachi was so fresh. The fish had the perfect texture and mouthfeel, the slice cucumbers added a nice bit of crunch. And the lemon citrus emulsion brought the right amount of acidity. The dish was very balanced and it ate well. Next up was the salmon. I don't know for sure. If the method of unilaterally cooking salmon is an Ã‰ric Ripert signature, but I was first introduced to this technique by him in one of the segments of his Avec Eric show. The salmon in this dish was easily the best two pieces of salmon I've consumed. The texture was so unique. I didn't know, salmon could even feel or taste this way. The vege, pea puree, and sauce, in this dish was also quite memorable. Even months later, I can still remember everything about the dish. I added the lobster cappuccino simply because-
[00:37:05] Trey Gerrald: EWW!
[00:37:06] Chelsey Donn: I added the lobster cappuccino, simply because I heard nothing but good things about the dish. When it arrived at the table, I was a little sad because the dish itself was quite small. It only seemed like three small sips in the tiny cup, but after I took the first sip, all my worries went away. The dish was so incredibly rich and fragrant. There are pieces of perfectly cooked, lobster hidden away-
[00:37:38] Trey Gerrald: EWWWWWW!
[00:37:39] Chelsey Donn: in the cup. And the entire thing was topped off with slice pieces of black truffle, which for the time of year, I can only imagine we're from PeÃ©rigord. All in all, this was another perfectly balanced dish! For the finale, the tres leches, which consisted of sphere of cashew sponge cake, Clementine sorbet, and caramelized goats milk moose.
[00:38:10] Chelsey Donn: The dish was a stunner in both appearance and in flavor. You can tell they had their pastry chef tirelessly working in the kitchen to make this one right. A triumph and a great way to end the meal. Ultimately, a flawed service in a restaurant with flawless food. Would I returned to Le Bernardin? Perhaps... and with a little bit of hesitation.
[00:38:44] Chelsey Donn: This is the best Review for us to both read considering neither of us ate fish. I'm not even confident that I pronounce some of those things correctly.
[00:38:54] Trey Gerrald: I feel like I just am like a one note person when it comes to wait staff.
[00:38:59] Chelsey Donn: Yes. But?
[00:39:01] Trey Gerrald: Okay. I just need to acknowledge my, cloudedness here because I want to be a little objective, but I just personally hate the pretense around food. I hate it. I hate fine dining. I hate Zagat. I hate Michelin. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Hate it. And this review perfectly encapsulates the pretense around food.
[00:39:27] Chelsey Donn: Right.
[00:39:28] Trey Gerrald: Okay. But, okay. What, okay. Let me just let that go.
[00:39:31] Chelsey Donn: Let that go.
[00:39:32] Trey Gerrald: I also feel like Mark, I feel like Mark is insufferable to be around. Like, first of all, this is a lunch shift!
[00:39:42] Chelsey Donn: In the lounge!
[00:39:43] Trey Gerrald: And you're in the lounge. So like, if you were working at this fancy, fancy restaurant, you're not working the lunch shift!
[00:39:50] Chelsey Donn: Right.
[00:39:51] Trey Gerrald: Like the people that had the lunch shift are newer hires. First of all, second of all, lunch is lower priority. Okay. It's still is business. So whatever, but like calling this cold and distant. I think, is just like a stretch. Also, like you went, you were there by yourself and you're like staring at all the people that are working. So they like, like, it just is like, it's awkward because you're being awkward, Mark!
[00:40:19] Chelsey Donn: Super awkward, Mark. Yeah.
[00:40:21] Trey Gerrald: And then this whole conversation about what are you wearing? I knew I didn't have to have a jacket.
[00:40:29] Chelsey Donn: I know!
[00:40:30] Trey Gerrald: So, I wore dark jeans and I wore a button down shirt. It's like, so gross. I don't care. Who cares? Who cares what you're wearing?
[00:40:39] Chelsey Donn: I know. Oh my Goodness.
[00:40:39] Trey Gerrald: Also that never had any...
[00:40:41] Chelsey Donn: There was no pay off, right? It wasn't like I was dressed really nicely. And they told me that I needed to leave because I wasn't dressed appropriately. Like they just wanted to let us know what they were wearing so that we could really get the full picture.
[00:40:53] Trey Gerrald: But like this whole conversation about like, I is this truthful. I imagined that this really? Yes. I imagine this happened to Mark.
[00:40:59] Chelsey Donn: Right.
[00:40:59] Trey Gerrald: Like the value here for me is like, because no one asked you, "how's your day going?"
[00:41:05] Chelsey Donn: Right.
[00:41:05] Trey Gerrald: Like, get out of here, Mark. I, it's not my responsibility to ask you how your day is going. If I'm over here serving you lobster cappuccino, like yes. Be pleasant. Everyone has, but like to like leave a three-star review because someone didn't ask you how your day is going. I think it's just beyond the pale.
[00:41:23] Chelsey Donn: I agree. I mean, at least they did three and not one or two. I mean, I think it could have been a four let's take a notch off for-
[00:41:30] Trey Gerrald: I think so too!
[00:41:31] Chelsey Donn: I think this should have been a four star review because like, they obviously really enjoyed it. They're just having pause. They said this was the best, months later. They're still thinking about this meal and at the end of it, would they go back? Yeah, probably with a slight pause. So it's like that to me is a four-star review first and foremost, Mark. And second of all, like, ah, just again with the pretension, you know? I mean, there are people that are foodies and that would be down for this kind of a breakdown of the dishes. So that's the one, cause I know you're like sort of averse to that and I just want to flip that around and just say, there are people that are into going to Michelin star restaurants and maybe they like, you know, on, on all kinds of the financial spectrum, like maybe they save up all year and that's their thing as a family, they like to go to these really nice restaurants. So,
[00:42:25] Trey Gerrald: But the point here is that this review is a glowing review about all of those,
[00:42:29] Chelsey Donn: Correct. Yes. Right. And that's why I just think it should be, four-star not five because there's nothing bad specifically about the restaurant. There's only something bad about the staff, which I don't know at the end of the day, what is that a complaint to management? Like hire better people, train your staff better. Tell them to interact better. I don't know. Sometimes Michelin star rush. Sometimes you, you go to one and they're just so nice and you feel like, wow, that was amazing. And sometimes they're a little bit colder, but I really do think that a lot of that is just because they're busy. It made me wonder, like how long was Mark there for? Was he there for several hours? I feel like Mark might've been lingering.
[00:43:11] Trey Gerrald: And, Mark had multi courses. I mean, they had a dessert and they had a cappucino.
[00:43:17] Chelsey Donn: Yes. Well, the cappuccino, while I think that's a very weird name for the dish is more of a soup.
[00:43:24] Trey Gerrald: See? Okay. That I actually wrote down dish.
[00:43:27] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Yeah. I think the lobster. Yes. I mean, my impression of the way that they're describing, and I know you were like, 'Eww!' , but I imagine that it's a soup. So they ended with the soup course before they had the dessert.
[00:43:41] Trey Gerrald: Emulsion. The word emulsion. Ugh. I recognize that people have different qualities than me. So I do want to, once again, just say, I recognize that I have a bias, I'm trying to let go of it.
[00:43:54] Chelsey Donn: Right.
[00:43:54] Trey Gerrald: And to that point, if you're going here, Like you're paying top dollar and you have an expectation for it to live up to the hype.
[00:44:03] Chelsey Donn: But if you're, I don't know, again, like, I don't want this to be like sliding Mark at all, but he went to the lounge. It almost seems like he wanted to go there, but he couldn't, I don't know if it's that he couldn't get a reservation. So he did the lounge instead.
[00:44:15] Trey Gerrald: Well, I'm curious now how Michelin, what their roster is, because I would imagine that the grading is based on dinner, not based on lunch. Also. I always thought that these really fancy, fancy restaurants didn't serve lunch because they're different menus. Anyway. So to me, I feel like I would not hang this on my fridge, but I guarantee you that everyone in Mark's family just worships everything that comes out of his mouth. And so they, the make grandmother probably will put this on the fridge. Yeah, I, it just is a little like, um, cur phenomenally too. It's a little fluxing as a little. This is all a little. Messy to me, because it seems to me that they had an amazing restaurant experience except for the service. And so they wanted to give you both sides of the story and they just went with three stars. But I think what that actually does is it damages the restaurant because they don't get a five-star review. They get a middle of the road review. But it's like, I think it's, like you said, this is a comment card to the manager. This is like, I did not get treated well, and I'm dropping lots of money and like, I wanted to be asked how my day was, well, then go to get a therapist.
[00:45:26] Chelsey Donn: I mean, here's where I will counter for a second. So when I go on Yelp, especially for restaurants, something that I do a lot, if I was like, I want to get the lobster cappuccino at this restaurant, oftentimes I'll go to the Review! and I will just type in lobster cappuccino. Now, if I was doing that, Mark's review would come up specifically highlighted the portion of the review, where he mentioned that. And for that alone, I just think I can't, I have to give him a little bit of credit. I do think he explains the dishes well. He lets you know what you can expect. He obviously wants the person reading this review to know that he has an understanding of food and cooking and a lot of people that are passionate about these kinds of restaurants do have that. So I think there's a little bit of value there.
[00:46:21] Trey Gerrald: Mmhmm, and I appreciate them giving like the opposite as well, like sort of like yang and yanging, which I value. I do think that is valuable. It isn't just decimation.
[00:46:32] Chelsey Donn: Yes, exactly. And also I had an LOL moment though, like at the top, when he was like, this was really tough for me to write and it might be even tougher for you all to read, like, come on, Mark.