TRANSCRIPT of Episode 24: "Astrology - 1 & 5 Star Reviews"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 24: "Astrology - 1 & 5 Star Reviews"


THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hi!

[00:00:31] Trey Gerrald: Well, hello there! Welcome to Review That Review. We are the podcast dedicated to reviewing

[00:00:38] Chelsey Donn: Reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes, Trey, let's be honest, suspicious online. Reviews!.

[00:00:50] Trey Gerrald: I'm being honest and that voice is Chelsey Donn.

[00:00:54] Chelsey Donn: And that voice is Trey Gerrald

[00:00:56] Trey Gerrald: and together we form the honest ...

[00:00:59] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens.

[00:01:03] Chelsey Donn: As honest as we can be. You know.

[00:01:05] Trey Gerrald: I never remember. I can't set it up thinking that she's going to not say exactly the same thing that was recorded months ago. Um, anyway. Hey Queen!

[00:01:13] Lodge A Complaint

[00:01:13] Trey Gerrald: Wait. All right. So what's going on? We are 22 minutes late cuz Chelsey has tech issues.

[00:01:20] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God. You guys, I just want to give a live Review right now. For those of us who have watched the videos. Like you just see the back of my room and I thought I should get a green screen. So as a Review Queen, I did a lot of research and I found one that, purported itself to be quite easy. The advertising was really good. There was a girl on a skateboard who was holding the green screen. With the handle on her back. And she was just like skateboarding through Venice and landed at some like chic loft and like, boom, boom, boom. And she set up the whole green screen and it just made it look very sexy and cool. And I was like, she can do this, I can do this. And. I took everything out. Like I had so much time. I was actually running early for once. Which as we know, Trey, eyeroll, doesn't happen all the time, but I was like running early. I was so proud of myself for being ahead and I could not get this thing together on my own. I watched like six different YouTube videos to try and figure it out. Old men, young men. But I had to get my roommate and Sundays, like very important to my roommate slash landlord. He's been like watching a football game and I had a knock on his door to get this green screen together.

[00:02:28] Chelsey Donn: Cause there was no way as one human person, unless I guess you're like master skateboard girl, can you do this on your own? Like there was just, it was not possible to do on your own and it even said in one of the instruction things that I finally saw, like for the unrolling of the green screen, you might need two people. No, no, no. There's no 'might!' You definitely need two people. So I had to interrupt him. He was like, um, can this wait? I was like, no, this cannot wait. I'm recording a podcast. This has to happen right now. I'm sorry. And so he had to pause the game just to help me get this fakakta thing set up. And like, it's not even guys, it's not even that good. Like I got a part of the background, the purple, which I love, I did it to match my nail Polish color, but like the purple and the background is giving me a purple glow on the side of my face. I don't know if anyone has any green-screen tips. Let me know. I guess we'll just call this my lodging of a complaint because God taking a lot of time talking about it. So this is going to be my complaint.

[00:03:23] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint.

[00:03:25] Chelsey Donn: Is it me? Is there a good green-screen out there that I'm just not finding, you guys? I was trying to find something that was portable and easy, and I guess I just don't know how to put these things together, but maybe it'll get better as I like keep doing it.

[00:03:38] Trey Gerrald: Okay. So many thoughts. First of all, I was like, why didn't you just call me? But I'm recognizing you needed four hands...

[00:03:44] Chelsey Donn: I needed like another human on the ground.

[00:03:46] Trey Gerrald: Right. It's hilarious to me that you're like, 'roommate helped me. I need this visual thing for my podcast!', which is just really funny. And then also I am noticing because your beautiful black headphones have purple from your virtual background in the center of them because on the ear cans, you have like a reflective silver that's picking up the green, which is why part of the cans are green.

[00:04:09] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God, I love you. So if I got headphones that didn't have the silver, then it would be not such a situation?

[00:04:17] Trey Gerrald: I'm imagining, but it's actually kind of funny.

[00:04:20] Chelsey Donn: Ha! Okay.

[00:04:21] Trey Gerrald: Spilling over into like your, um, face. I don't know why I know why.

[00:04:25] Chelsey Donn: And like my shirt!

[00:04:26] Trey Gerrald: I don't know. Who knows.

[00:04:27] Chelsey Donn: Geez LaPeez!

[00:04:28] Trey Gerrald: You know, it's a learning process. We are all learning every day.

[00:04:32] Chelsey Donn: It's true, we're learning every single day. And -

[00:04:34] Trey Gerrald: and now post this experience, you have more knowledge about what it takes to unravel green screen!

[00:04:41] Chelsey Donn: It was not as easy as skateboard girl made it seem like it was going to be so lodging a complaint against skateboard girl. Yes. All right, Trey. Do you have a complaint you want a Lodge this week?

[00:04:53] VOICEOVER: Lodge A complaint!

[00:04:54] Trey Gerrald: You know, I have had this on the list for a long time, but I sort of pushed it off for a while because I haven't really encountered it that often of late, but I was at a wedding over the weekend. And, they had a setup in the bathroom, which makes me think that if it was normal times, they would have employed a bathroom attendant. But today I'm lodging a complaint against bathroom attendants.

[00:05:17] Chelsey Donn: Oh, okay!

[00:05:19] Trey Gerrald: I hate them. I went to college in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. So a lot of the bars and clubs we would go to were like touristy. And so they would always have bathroom attendants, and it's so obnoxious because you'll be like, in the energy and experience of like kind of tipsy and like you've just broken the seal, which is annoying. And so you want to get back out there and like, you want to check yourself in the mirror, but there's an attendant. Who's like an all black and a vest. And they like, like, I don't want to be bothered and I don't want to make eye contact with you because if I make eye contact with you, then I feel like I have to engage with you. And then I have to like acknowledged the fact that this is like your career and that like, I should patronize you and give you a tip. And, but like, I would rather just do like my own towels or like do the hand dryer. I don't want to make eye contact with you because then you're going to start pulling the towels and handing them to me. And then I feel like I have to tip you because I've taken the towel from you. And I can't just walk out pre COVID times without washing my hands because that's gross and you're going to jugde me. But like out of an energy to like, not have to engage with the person that's sitting there. So I just really don't like bathroom attendants.

[00:06:26] Trey Gerrald: It's like a time for solace. Maybe this is like a, um, gendered conversation. But generally I think that men are less chatty in a bathroom than perhaps women are. I don't know. I've never been a woman in a bathroom, but I know that there is a social norm with women where it's like, let's go to the bathroom together and you can like check your makeup and like engage and whatever, but men don't really do that. You don't look left and right at a urinal, you don't like chat and talk and -

[00:06:51] Chelsey Donn: You're in, you're out.

[00:06:53] Trey Gerrald: Right? It's, an,, it's like a transactional experience. And so when you throw someone in the mix that is there to facilitate a conversation and, and helping that's annoying. Although, and they had this at the um wedding. But, I do like when there's mouthwash, like I like when they offer you mouthwash or a mint, but then I still feel like, oh, do I have to pay? I have to tip you a dollar because you gave me this one Altoid out of this tin of... like, I know that a tin of Altoids is going to be $3. So like, I'm going to give you $1 for this one Altoid. That seems outrageous. That's an inflation to the worst degree.

[00:07:24] Chelsey Donn: Depends on how bad you need the Altoid, you know?

[00:07:26] Trey Gerrald: And like I'm someone that always wants to have like some sort of good breath situation going on and very aware of breath, like God!

[00:07:34] Chelsey Donn: Too tempting for you to not to say no to the Altoid. Therefore you feel indebted to this person.

[00:07:40] Trey Gerrald: It's come up a lot in this podcast. your feelings about meter maids. And I do think that I do feel equally parallel to bathroom attendants.

[00:07:49] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Okay.

[00:07:50] Trey Gerrald: Because, cause they just occur as a nuisance. The service is lovely, but it's like, I don't want to feel pressured to have to engage in a situation to tip. Like I go into that agreement when I go to a restaurant, cause I know I'm going to be tipping a server, not every bathroom has that agreement and you don't know that you're entering the agreement until you're inside of it. And that feels very wrong. Any listeners that agree with me, please share.

[00:08:16] Chelsey Donn: I agree with you. I agree with you. I think that's an interesting point that you brought up because I befriended a few of these bathroom attendants in my day, you know, get a conversation going. I can talk to most people. So I respect the hustle.

[00:08:33] Trey Gerrald: Have you ever in your life? I think it's only happened once, maybe twice. I definitely can think of one situation. Have you ever gone in an elevator that had an elevator attendant?

[00:08:43] Chelsey Donn: Yes at the Carlyle Hotel in New York, they were still having, attendants in the elevators.

[00:08:49] Trey Gerrald: I think the only time in my life I've ever had a elevator attendant was in like a very old, co-op building on the East Side. It was someone's like book signing event. And yes, there was like the gate and there was a little stool that popped out of the wall that they would sit on and it's like I, I, I I can push the button, like, you know? Wow. It's so interesting. Anyway, that's my Complaint. I'm done.

[00:09:14] Chelsey Donn: Complaint Lodged, Trey. Let it be known!

[00:09:16] Trey Gerrald: Well.

[00:09:17] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:09:18] Trey Gerrald: Should we do it?

[00:09:18] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, we should do this.

[00:09:21] Trey Gerrald: Do you want to go head-to-head?! That's my new favorite thing.

[00:09:24] Chelsey Donn: I mean, I hate confrontation, but I do love reviews. So in that regard, I would love for us to give this topic, a full assessment from the one to the five and back again!

[00:09:36] Trey Gerrald: That's, that's a great segue. I think that it's time for us to

[00:09:39] VOICEOVER: Assess that Kvetch.

[00:09:41] Trey Gerrald: And today is another versus episode, Queens. We are going to cover both a one star and a five star review on the same topic, which today will be. Psychic astrology. Ooooh!

[00:09:55] Chelsey Donn: Ooooooooh! I don't know why it feels like that was like an ooooh spooky moment, but it just does, like, I don't know. All right, that's right. For this versus episode, Trey selected the one star and I selected the five star. So to determine who reads first, we got to flip that quarter, Trey. Trey's got a shiny and nice quarter over there. I like that. Couldn't have that in front of the green screen, because it would definitely reflect that. Yeah. I'm going to guess?

[00:10:23] Trey Gerrald: I think you guessed last time.

[00:10:24] Chelsey Donn: All right. You're going to guess.

[00:10:26] Trey Gerrald: Okay.

[00:10:27] Chelsey Donn: GO!

[00:10:28] Trey Gerrald: Tails!

[00:10:30] Chelsey Donn: And landed as it fell. So what was it?

[00:10:33] Trey Gerrald: Do I have to flip it or do I just pick it up as it is?

[00:10:37] Chelsey Donn: I think pick it up as it lies. That's how it wanted to fall. Was it heads was the tails...

[00:10:41] Trey Gerrald: I don't know where it went!

[00:10:42] Chelsey Donn: Oh! We have now, or one our going out and finding the quarter adventure. So fun.

[00:10:49] Trey Gerrald: I literally don't literally don't know where it went.

[00:10:51] Chelsey Donn: All right. Do I have a quarter? I don't. I just emptied all my change. This is hilarious.

[00:10:57] Trey Gerrald: I literally cannot find the quarter.

[00:10:58] Chelsey Donn: Are you kidding?. Okay. Do you want me to go get a quarter?

[00:11:01] Trey Gerrald: Oh, I found it.

[00:11:02] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Was it heads or was it tails? This is so suspenseful.

[00:11:07] Trey Gerrald: It's tails.

[00:11:08] Chelsey Donn: Isn't that what you said?

[00:11:09] Trey Gerrald: It is what I said!

[00:11:11] Chelsey Donn: So you get to go first. So Trey has the one-star review today, before we get started. I just want to do a quick little plug. Goldie now has a tik tok and on brand for today's episode, it's @thepsychicdog. Yeah, it was available and she got it. And she's psychic you guys, and if you're in Patreon, just saying, I'm going to be giving away a psychic reading from Goldie and I'll be honest. They're really good. Anyway, back to the show.

[00:11:40] Astrology By Austin 1 Star Review

[00:11:40] Chelsey Donn: So Trey, you have our one star review today. Tell us a little bit about what we're reviewing.

[00:11:45] Trey Gerrald: Okay. So today Chelsey and I are both covering one star and five star reviews for a business called Astrology by Austin. This is in Los Angeles and Austin is an astrologer, a tarot reader and a numerologist.

[00:12:01] Chelsey Donn: Love that!

[00:12:02] Trey Gerrald: All right. So we have reviews from Yelp and I'm going to go first. So here we go.

[00:12:16] Trey Gerrald: Okay. So I have the one star review from Yelp for Astrology by Austin. And my Review! was written by Lorraine A.

[00:12:25] Chelsey Donn: All right, Lorraine A. Let's hear it.

[00:12:27] Trey Gerrald: Okay. I had a numerology reading with Austin this afternoon over the phone. While I very rarely post reviews I feel compelled to do so in this instance. I immediately felt that Austin was unprepared for my reading and with the exception of one thing, he was off about 99% of it. The one correct thing he said was that my ex husband, is a resentful narcissist. Which wasn't a big leap considering I told him that I was an empath and divorced from him. Other than that, my $90 reading consisted of him telling me to wear the color yellow, parentheses, which I will never do, because I hate that color, think of three things in the morning, such as who my favorite person is in the world. My favorite color. And my favorite song and to place scrap metal coins on the four corners of my bedroom in an attempt to secure better feng shui. Oh, and to walk 10 minutes every morning. I was also told that I have a strong desire to be a leader, which I do not! In fact, I hate leadership roles. I could instantly tell that he didn't do his homework because he couldn't tell me one valid thing about my personality or even speculate about my future, which was told in generalities at best He did say that 2020 was a very bad year for me, parentheses, which given COVID and the racial unrest in this country is not really insightful. And that 2021 would be better He also miscalculated the age I was when I got married, as well as the age of my daughter, who he thought was still a minor when she's in her mid twenties. For those who have had good experiences with Austin, I am baffled because mine was a complete waste of money and time. I got absolutely nothing out of it at all. Zero.

[00:14:42] Trey Gerrald: Now Lorraine also attaches a photo of a text correspondence with Austin.

[00:14:50] Chelsey Donn: Oh, interesting. Okay.

[00:14:51] Trey Gerrald: That I think I should read before we do the assessment. So, on the right side in green, Lorraine has an Android. It says, 'why do I have to call you? You're either going to refund my money or you are not.' Austin says, 'not without a phone call. So if you don't want to talk, it is what it is.' Lorraine says, 'why can't you just tell me via text?' Austin says, 'enjoy your day.' And that's it.

[00:15:22] Chelsey Donn: Alright. And that's Lorraine. Alright, Lorraine. Hmm. So much here. One question that came to mind as we were going through this is, do we think that there's homework to be done for a psychic?

[00:15:36] Trey Gerrald: I was wondering about that. What does, like, literally, because this was an, a numerology reading.

[00:15:41] Chelsey Donn: Right. Oh.

[00:15:43] Trey Gerrald: But like, literally my thought about homework for any sort of psych mystical thing is cheating.

[00:15:48] Chelsey Donn: Right. Right. Exactly. Like what do you like they should have Googled you or, but I, now that I'm remembering that it's a numerology reading, maybe because with numerology. Maybe the, um, Lorraine gave her birthday, you know?

[00:16:03] Trey Gerrald: Early on so that they could make the chart?

[00:16:06] Chelsey Donn: Correct.

[00:16:07] Trey Gerrald: Is that true though? Cause I've never done numerology. Is that something you would give upfront?

[00:16:11] Chelsey Donn: I think so. If you're talking about the numbers.

[00:16:14] Trey Gerrald: Cause Lorraine says they were unprepared, which would make me think that there was, preparation expected,

[00:16:21] Chelsey Donn: Right. So there's just all these numbers, I guess, that, that are supposed to tell a story about your life. So maybe that's where Lorraine was coming from. I don't know. I'm, I'm getting like weird vibes from Lorraine.

[00:16:35] Trey Gerrald: Who is a self-proclaimed empath.

[00:16:37] Chelsey Donn: Who's a self-proclaimed empath, but has a little bit of like a narcissistic vibe that she's omitting. For some reason, I like, I was trying to figure out how to pinpoint exactly what it was, but. What was the scrap metal corners of the bed or bedroom? What was that?

[00:16:54] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. Well, that's in order to secure better feng shui. Think of three things in the morning, such as who, your favorite person in the world is, your favorite color, and your favorite song, and also to place scrap metal coins on the four corners of your bedroom in an attempt to secure better feng shui. I've never heard that -

[00:17:11] Chelsey Donn: Scrap metal coins?

[00:17:12] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:17:13] Chelsey Donn: I've never heard of that. It almost felt like Austin was trying to make Lorraine sunnier. You know, like he was like, you should wear yellow and like, you should start your day thinking of your favorite thing.

[00:17:27] Trey Gerrald: Yes exactly!

[00:17:28] Chelsey Donn: And like, you should rearrange things in your room so that they're bringing all the positive energy into your life. But if I'm reading the reading based on what I'm getting back from Lorraine, I think Austin was trying to give Lorraine some sort of levity in her life and shine. And if you notice everything that Loraine says in the Review, really demonstrates how she's not that person, because it was like wear yellow. Now. Like listen, if a psychic told me to wear yellow might it be BS? Very well might be BS, but am I going to maybe try to wear yellow just to see if like, maybe if I wear yellow, I'll have a good day. Like I would try it. Like, I've tried a lot crazier things than just wearing a yellow top to see if my life was going to be better.

[00:18:11] Chelsey Donn: So I think I certainly would try it and I just felt like throughout the Review! it was like, Austin would give her a suggestion or like lob something over to Lorraine. And Lorraine would be like, no, no, like you should know me better to know that. Like, I wouldn't want to even hear that.

[00:18:30] Trey Gerrald: Well, that is my question about intentionality, because what is the intention of receiving a numerology reading? Because it sounds to me that Lorraine's Review! is very much based on an experience that they did not catch Lorraine's authenticity. But what we are catching is that all of the stuff Austin's presenting are things that maybe aren't in align with the authenticity, or they're not what's being presented. It is very much what you're saying. Like if the intention of this numerology is to find my peace.

[00:19:05] Chelsey Donn: Right.

[00:19:05] Trey Gerrald: It sounds like these are some tangible actions to take for change or difference transformation experiences, which is interesting because the whole color of color of this review is that Austin was a fraud.

[00:19:20] Chelsey Donn: Right. Yeah. I mean, it's also interesting because I know this is going to sound like a cop out. And and I think something that I've heard from a lot of psychics that I believe to be true. And I know this, even when I'm interacting with people, is there are some people that just cannot be. We'll say, yeah, I know that this is something that sort of happened to you, but this is something that can happen with psychics cause it's not exactly crystal clear, everything that's coming through. Right? So you have to work with the person and it's up to you whether you want to internalize what the person is telling you or not. But, you're there to receive this information. And if you're just a block. If every single thing that I'm going to say to you, you're coming at me going, 'that's not true. It's not like that.' But sometimes it really is upon reflection that you're like, oh, like for example, I had a friend that went to a psychic. And the psychic told her, like, you're going to make a lot of money doing something with brushes. She's like, it's brushes, brushes, brushes.

[00:20:14] Chelsey Donn: And for years like Amber, like chewed on that. And she was like, brushes, like I'm not a painter, like what's gonna be with brushes. And then she became a makeup artist and she uses brushes all the time. You know what I mean? So I just think there has to be a level of willingness to be open about the advice and about the information that's being given to you. And if you're just a total, like no person, like, Nope, not right. He got the age wrong. Like if you're that kind of a person, you just shouldn't go to a psychic cause you're not open.

[00:20:43] Trey Gerrald: I think that is right. There is a sense of closed off-ness. Impress me. I would counter, well, I think that I want to share my story as a Patreon exclusive.

[00:20:54] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Yes.

[00:20:55] Trey Gerrald: Um, cause I had something very traumatizing happened to me in this whole world and it was -

[00:21:01] Chelsey Donn: And there are nefarious people out there. Like I'm definitely don't want to negate that because, there certainly are.

[00:21:07] Trey Gerrald: Well, I also like also like just to talk around it, like I can also see where I was responsible. I think there, I did have a sense of arms closed-ness.

[00:21:14] Chelsey Donn: Sure.

[00:21:15] Trey Gerrald: But it is what that very first text photo that Chelsey sent me was of, because when I was in LA, I went to a friend's recommended psychic in West Hollywood. Twice. And I'll tell the story on Patreon, but I don't know if it's something I've fully recovered from still today. And I chose not to choose that vendor for today's episode. And I also chose to never leave a review because it felt so unbalancing to me. Regardless. I do think there is a middle ground because I do think that everyone going wants the person to be correct. So there is a sense of waiting for that aha epiphany moment of like, yes. So my, yes. So when, when they miscalculate the age that I got married or the age of my daughter, like that starts to create a little bit of distance in your belief and trust, but then I also, even the word miscalculated once again, makes me curious about numerology because it, but then you also would expect there wouldn't be like, an error. I mean, if I'm going to you as an expert, like, I don't want there to be a little error, you know?

[00:22:21] Chelsey Donn: They don't always get timeframes exactly right. They just don't like, and again, I'm not trying to sound like, like I'm somebody that's drank the Kool-Aid. I really do believe that. It's like,we could get into a whole conversation about how time is relative and all of these things and go down the rabbit hole and watch Russian Doll. But like, you know, their time exists in a lot of different ways. And most of the time, the psychics that I will go to will say things like, 'I have a feeling it's going to be in the next. The X number of years, like somewhere between this and this, like it's, it doesn't tend to be an exact science. But I also don't know enough about the specific numerology reading.

[00:22:59] Trey Gerrald: Well, as far as like the spelling and grammar from Lorraine, I do find it to be relatively perfect. I think they definitely did do a spell check on this. The the truthfulness. I mean, I believe that, do I think that Lorraine's being shady? I don't know. I mean, I feel like Lorraine is seeking something in life, which brought them to Austin. And I think that they, it's interesting. We've pointed out already Lorraine labels, the ex-husband as a resentful narcissist, and both of those descriptors seem to be like prevalent in Lorraine in this review..

[00:23:37] Chelsey Donn: I know that was why I was like, Ooh, like, is Lorraine one of the people that's calling everybody else a narcissist when she is? I hate to assign that to her. Cause I don't think I know enough about Lorraine to make that kind of a call, but I did clock that too.

[00:23:49] Trey Gerrald: Probably in Lorraine's view, this is a truthful assessment, but I'm starting to like, it doesn't leave me with an impression of Austin's ability. Except for these little errors about like age and of the daughter and the age when Lorraine was married, but it does sort of make me think that there might've been something going on energetically with Lorraine, which is very interesting because it doesn't have that big of a impact for me for Austin's ability and the humor level for me on this is like the huge resistance to the color yellow.

[00:24:21] Chelsey Donn: Sure. Yeah. It's funny.

[00:24:23] Trey Gerrald: It's like very funny to me.

[00:24:24] Chelsey Donn: Is incidentally Funny.

[00:24:26] Trey Gerrald: Yes.

[00:24:26] Chelsey Donn: Yes.

[00:24:28] Trey Gerrald: It isn't seeping with humor to me. I don't know. What do you think?

[00:24:31] Chelsey Donn: I didn't really find it very funny. Um, I think the last thing I want to bring up before we crown it is a little bit of the text exchange.

[00:24:39] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:24:40] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Do we feel like it's fair for Lorraine to ask for a discount, number one? And then do we feel like it's fair for Austin to want to have a phone call?

[00:24:52] Trey Gerrald: I think it's fair for Austin to want a phone call and I don't think it's fair to want a refund. I think it's fair to want the refund. I don't think it's fair to, I mean, it's fair to ask. Of course it's fair to ask. I don't think it's warranted.

[00:25:03] Chelsey Donn: Right yeah. I mean, I feel like the phone call makes sense, because if you just allowed anybody to text you and not have to like, actually pick up the phone and call you and say, I didn't like the reading you gave me or give me a chance to correct something that went wrong.

[00:25:19] Trey Gerrald: Correct.

[00:25:19] Chelsey Donn: If you're just going to text me, give me my money back. I think that's a slippery slope. And I, I understand why Austin wouldn't want to do that. Like I think, yeah, let's get Lorraine on the phone and let her tell me how she felt as opposed to just writing a bad review, or I don't know.

[00:25:36] Trey Gerrald: What is the exchange here because everyone wants to provide better service. And so if you are requesting money back, what can I do better in the future?

[00:25:45] Chelsey Donn: Right.

[00:25:46] Trey Gerrald: I think that's a fair exchange to say, you got these two things wrong. And like, I don't even like the color yellow. And I felt like you were leading me in a way that felt in authentic and it felt like it was a waste of money.

[00:25:59] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, I mean, and it's interesting. Cause obviously Lorraine has the guts to write a review and put this out there for the world to see, but maybe not the guts to pick up the phone and just give him, give Austin a call. But I think we have enough information to crown. When do you think?

[00:26:16] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, I guess I did say, yeah.

[00:26:17] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:26:18] Trey Gerrald: All right. So Chelsey and I each have our own set of one to five crown cards and in an effort to be fair and not influenced by one another, we will simultaneously reveal our rating

[00:26:30] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating.

[00:26:32] Trey Gerrald: Um, are you ready?

[00:26:34] Chelsey Donn: Let's do it.

[00:26:39] VOICEOVER: Total Score!

[00:26:40] Chelsey Donn: Oh! You can't see it because it's bright-

[00:26:42] Trey Gerrald: Green!

[00:26:43] Chelsey Donn: The green screen. Okay. That sucks. I'm holding up two crowns. Trey is holding up three crowns.

[00:26:51] Trey Gerrald: Why'd you do two?

[00:26:52] Chelsey Donn: I did two, because I just don't really trust Lorraine. I'm sorry, Lorraine, but I don't think I trust your assessment of the situation. I don't think it was so unreasonable for Austin to ask for a phone call before getting a refund. I don't think anything so egregious was done and it seemed like you were very closed off and not willing to even experiment with maybe some of the things that were told to you in this reading. So for that reason, I'm giving you two crowns, mostly for spelling, I guess? And also your character. I know who you are. I, I tend to give points for that. So that's it. How about you, Trey? Why'd you do three crowns?

[00:27:30] Trey Gerrald: Well, I was between two and a half and three, but I ultimately went with Three, because it does ultimately land as middle of the road to me because it wasn't outrageously humorous. I can't decipher if this is a common experience or a fluke experience, but -

[00:27:43] Chelsey Donn: Right. Exactly!

[00:27:44] Trey Gerrald: But it does occur to me the instances where the numerology wasn't an exact correct age guestimate. s sort of like that sort of like lands with me, but overall the impact is muddied because I, I don't think that Lorraine was as open to the experience as perhaps what would've created some real insight here and it wouldn't stop me from seeing Austin. I think it would actually shape my intentionality for getting a numerology reading. Which is why I gave it the extra half crown to make it three-

[00:28:18] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, or maybe questions you would ask upfront in terms of like, expectations.

[00:28:23] Trey Gerrald: Exactly. So that's why I went with her.

[00:28:26] Chelsey Donn: Love it.

[00:28:27] Trey Gerrald: Oh my gosh. I hope Lorraine gets some better answers in life.

[00:28:31] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, I hope you got what you're interested in and maybe you should wear blue. Lorraine. How does blue feel? Does blue feel good?

[00:28:37] Trey Gerrald: I feel like their ora is blue.

[00:28:39] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I'm feeling blue for you Lorraine.

[00:28:42] Trey Gerrald: Alright, So let's take a quick break. And when we come back, we're going to hear an entirely different side of the story.

[00:28:48] Chelsey Donn: Oh, yes, we are. Love it.

[00:28:50] Trey Gerrald: All right, BRB.

[00:28:55] VOICEOVER: Hold your crown. We'll be right back.

[00:29:06] OFFER

[00:29:06] Trey Gerrald: Chelsey and I are so excited to share this exclusive Review Queen offer from Now from the makers of BarkBox, Super Chewer is a monthly subscription-based service for those dogs that need tougher and more durable toys. Every month you and your pup will receive a box right to your front door that is loaded with two tough toys, two meat chews, and two full-sized bags of treats that are customizable for allergy and diet preferences. Super Chewer is offering listeners of Review That Review one extra month free when you use our link:! Sign-up right now at

[00:30:16] Meryl-Go-Round

[00:30:16] Trey Gerrald: It's One-Star-Zinger time! Chelsey, you better get ready because we 'bout to strap in and take a little spin on the Meryl-Go-Round.

[00:30:23] Chelsey Donn: Oh, my Goodness.

[00:30:25] VOICEOVER: 'I don't feel like an icon. Most of the days, I feel like 'I can't!' That's with an,. A'..

[00:30:35] Chelsey Donn: Here's the deal. Trey and I have each picked a rotten, scathing, pithy One-Star-Zinger and with 30 seconds on the clock, we'll take turns, trying to recite the zinger in as many genres as possible.

[00:30:48] Trey Gerrald: Just like Queen Meryl Streep, who does it all!

[00:30:51] Chelsey Donn: Before the clock runs out.

[00:30:52] Trey Gerrald: Alright, Chels! What have you got for us today?

[00:30:54] Chelsey Donn: A little bit of Nancy Drew realness from Nancy G. Nancy G has written a one star review of the Psychic Eye bookshop on Ventura Boulevard in Sherman Oaks, which admittedly I go to pretty regularly. They have good prices on crystals and stuff. But now I'm super curious cause Nancy G says, 'Horrible place. I've been seeing on Facebook what happened to that girl and her daughter!'

[00:31:21] Trey Gerrald: What?!

[00:31:22] Chelsey Donn: What happened to that girl and her daughter? I didn't have enough time to Google it, but like maybe I'll do it as a Patreon bonus if I figure out what it is. But like Nancy G is a very Nancy Drew.

[00:31:34] Trey Gerrald: Oh my God. Alright.

[00:31:35] Chelsey Donn: Isn't that crazy? Okay.

[00:31:37] Trey Gerrald: And today you're going to, you're going to be strapped in on an Egyptian pyramid.

[00:31:42] Chelsey Donn: Ooh, spiky.

[00:31:45] Trey Gerrald: Pointy! All right. You ready?

[00:31:48] Chelsey Donn: Yes!

[00:31:49] VOICEOVER: 3, 2, 1, GO!

[00:31:52] VOICEOVER: WWE

[00:31:53] VOICEOVER: horrible place. I've been saying on Facebook. What happened to that girl and her

[00:32:00] VOICEOVER: horrible place I've been seeing on Facebook? What happened to that girl and a daughter?

[00:32:06] VOICEOVER: True crime documentary,

[00:32:08] VOICEOVER: horrible place I've been seen on Facebook with

[00:32:10] VOICEOVER: that girl and her daughter

[00:32:12] VOICEOVER: lifetime.

[00:32:15] VOICEOVER: I've been seeing on Facebook. What happened to that girl and her daughter pop star.

[00:32:22] VOICEOVER: God, it's so hard.

[00:32:25] VOICEOVER: That's all.

[00:32:25] Trey Gerrald: Oh my God. Okay. You got five.

[00:32:27] Chelsey Donn: I did?!

[00:32:29] Trey Gerrald: Well, I gave you pop star cause you really committed.

[00:32:33] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God. I have to know what happened. I'm going to search as soon as we get out of here.

[00:32:36] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, we 've got to follow up on that.

[00:32:38] Chelsey Donn: I know. Hilarious. All right, Trey. Tell us is your One-Star-Zinger also on theme? I think, it might be.

[00:32:44] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, I was worried we were going to do the same one, but we didn't. So today I have a One-Star-Zinger from Amazon by Salman.

[00:32:51] Chelsey Donn: Do you usually pronounce pronounce the L in salmon?

[00:32:56] Trey Gerrald: Well, wait, how do you spell salmon, the food?

[00:32:59] Chelsey Donn: S A L M O N

[00:33:01] Trey Gerrald: Right this is S A L M A N.

[00:33:04] Chelsey Donn: Hmm. Confusing.

[00:33:06] Trey Gerrald: Salman R. Salmon?

[00:33:09] Chelsey Donn: Salmon.

[00:33:10] Trey Gerrald: But even Solomon is spelled M O N.

[00:33:13] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Maybe you're right. Maybe it is Salman. Okay. Salman R.

[00:33:18] Trey Gerrald: I guess. I don't know. Okay. So this is Salman R's one star review on for the Hasbro Brother's toy, the Ouija board.

[00:33:27] Chelsey Donn: Ooh, that's a good one. Trey.

[00:33:31] Trey Gerrald: I found a lot of reviews that I was like, oh, this could be an actual entry one day. So this is a zinger. Salman writes, the subject is-

[00:33:39] Chelsey Donn: NO WAIT! Let me. I have to tell you what you're strapped in... Oh no. Yes.

[00:33:42] Trey Gerrald: Oh, uh, do you want to tell me, what are you strapping me in on? Tell me first.

[00:33:46] Chelsey Donn: I want to strap you into like a whole Tarot deck. Like you are the deck.

[00:33:53] Trey Gerrald: I am a card sharp.

[00:33:54] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Okay.

[00:33:56] Trey Gerrald: All right. So let me channel that. And I'm going to tell you Salman's one-star review is subject, 'one star' and their review is, 'now I have to move away. Use at own risk.'

[00:34:10] Chelsey Donn: Now I have to move away!

[00:34:13] Trey Gerrald: And eight people found this helpful.

[00:34:14] Chelsey Donn: What did the Ouija Board say? Salman wow. See, we both have mysteries today.

[00:34:20] Trey Gerrald: It's true. Oh, that's true. All right. I'm on my tarot deck.

[00:34:24] Chelsey Donn: Alright get on your tarot deck. Strap in and let's do this.

[00:34:27] Trey Gerrald: Okay, I'm ready and go!

[00:34:28] VOICEOVER: 3, 2, 1, GO!

[00:34:32] VOICEOVER: Musical theater. No, I have to move.

[00:34:39] VOICEOVER: Southern now we've got to move

[00:34:40] VOICEOVER: a white use at your own risk

[00:34:43] VOICEOVER: breaking

[00:34:43] VOICEOVER: news. Now we have to move away. Use that own risk

[00:34:47] VOICEOVER: adult fail

[00:34:50] VOICEOVER: now

[00:34:53] VOICEOVER: at.

[00:34:55] VOICEOVER: Disney.

[00:34:59] VOICEOVER: That's all.

[00:35:01] VOICEOVER: All right.

[00:35:03] Chelsey Donn: I'm going to give that to you because you gave me pop star. I think you won, Trey. Let's just make sure. Yes. Trey, you won with six! Good job, Queen. Queening at this game!

[00:35:16] Trey Gerrald: Oh, thank you. It's just an honor to be nominated.

[00:35:19] Chelsey Donn: Yes.

[00:35:22] Astrology by Austin 5 Star Review

[00:35:22] VOICEOVER: Review That Review.

[00:35:26] Chelsey Donn: All right. We are back from that... should I say it? 'Rousing' game break!

[00:35:32] Trey Gerrald: I like intentionally don't write the word, 'rousing'

[00:35:35] Chelsey Donn: I know! and I have to say it! It was rousing. I was excited. All right. We're we're back from that game break. It was super fun and it is my turn now.

[00:35:44] Trey Gerrald: I would call that game break, 'rousing!'

[00:35:46] Chelsey Donn: I would that rousing. I'm very roused. Okay. So anyway, We're going to hear the other side of the story and they just quite a laid out story. So, so buckle in! Crystal P has a totally different opinion of Astrology by Austin.

[00:36:07] Trey Gerrald: Okay.

[00:36:07] Chelsey Donn: Are we ready?

[00:36:08] Trey Gerrald: I'm ready.

[00:36:10] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:36:10] Chelsey Donn: I had a reading with Austin a week ago. I had checked out his website and liked that he was a young man that stood out among other stereotyped astrologists. I wasn't looking for a psychic, just wanted a true, genuine reading of what the new year would be bringing me. Reading a general daily or yearly horoscope prediction that is supposed to be accurate for every single person that just so happens to be my sign is just bull! There's always so much more to you than what your sun sign is. Your moon sign plays a very big part in your personality and is based on the time and place you were born. I knew it would be worth the time to find someone like Austin that could just tell me what was possibly coming my way based on my own personal reading on all of the above. Austin arranged for us to meet at a small quaint coffee shop in Santa Monica.

[00:37:08] Chelsey Donn: My initial thought of seeing him for the first time was relaxed. There's this comfortableness about him that is instant. Plus he's extremely easy on the eyes. Pictures do not do him the justice he deserves, and that's always a bonus. Yet trust me on this. There is NO arrogance about him. He comes across very relaxed, even humbled, kind, gentle and caring.

[00:37:40] Chelsey Donn: He had my chart ready and got right down to business. It wasn't all good. Told me of a particular month that was pretty much going to be extremely tough. Didn't say why, and I don't need to know why, but how cool is it to know rough waters are coming at this particular time, so buckle down and be strong. Kind of nice to know if you ask me and I appreciate the heads up. Also let me know that another month will be the beginning of great things career and money-wise. Of course, he also went into detail about my personality and how to get the most out of who I am with how all the stars and planets are aligned this year. Gave me printed out detail sheets with handwritten notes on the side that we discussed at length. He nailed my personality without knowing me at all.

[00:38:34] Chelsey Donn: Overall, I felt enlightened and almost didn't feel like I needed or even wanted the Tarot reading I had also requested just for the fun of it.

[00:38:42] Trey Gerrald: Wow.

[00:38:43] Chelsey Donn: But boy, am I glad I did that as well! Another unexpected reading. What's cool about Austin is you don't feel you're with some person who is so full of themselves with this pompous attitude of knowing the future. He's definitely confident and speaks with the voice of authority, but it comes across in the most gentle, relaxed, almost matter of fact way. Obviously, I will know in about six months, how all of this truly materializes and believe me, I will be back on here with an update. I highly recommend him to anyone who is interested in a solid reading of whatever you're searching for. I did not do the numerology and I'm seriously considering it.

[00:39:27] Chelsey Donn: Alright.

[00:39:27] Trey Gerrald: Oh, intriguing little sign off there.

[00:39:31] Chelsey Donn: I know. Um, so there was not an update as of yet.

[00:39:34] Trey Gerrald: I was going to ask.

[00:39:36] Chelsey Donn: I know. And this was written in 2014, so you think that there would be an update!

[00:39:41] Trey Gerrald: And they said they will be back.

[00:39:43] Chelsey Donn: Crystal was not honest with her commitment.

[00:39:46] Trey Gerrald: Ugh, I feel Jiffed. Although, Crystal owes me nothing.

[00:39:50] Chelsey Donn: She doesn't. But she definitely had a lot to say about Austin and I think she's got a little crush!

[00:39:56] Trey Gerrald: Okay. Wait. Cause I totally went on that rollercoaster ride. I wrote down Crystal's horned up over Austin!

[00:40:04] Chelsey Donn: I know!

[00:40:05] Trey Gerrald: But then I really felt very strongly that at the end. Crystal was saying like Austin's demeanor, isn't pompous or like cocky. It's just like a quiet confidence. That's matter of fact, it, honestly, by the end of the Review!, I was like, oh, she's not horned up over him. Crystal was really taken, but that's less fun. I think crystal wanted to like, she wanted that magic stick.

[00:40:32] Chelsey Donn: She said he looked better. I, it felt like-

[00:40:35] Trey Gerrald: a Hinge date.

[00:40:36] Chelsey Donn: A date. Yeah. Like as if they matched and then they met at this coffee shop and, oh my God, he's even better looking than his pictures, you know?

[00:40:44] Trey Gerrald: I wrote down. Like, I think this is actually an insult, but Crystal says my first thought: relaxed. I'm like, Your first thought of me. Is that relax like that? Actually, it's really funny to me.