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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 24: "Astrology - 1 & 5 Star Reviews"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 24: "Astrology - 1 & 5 Star Reviews"


THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hi!

[00:00:31] Trey Gerrald: Well, hello there! Welcome to Review That Review. We are the podcast dedicated to reviewing

[00:00:38] Chelsey Donn: Reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes, Trey, let's be honest, suspicious online. Reviews!.

[00:00:50] Trey Gerrald: I'm being honest and that voice is Chelsey Donn.

[00:00:54] Chelsey Donn: And that voice is Trey Gerrald

[00:00:56] Trey Gerrald: and together we form the honest ...

[00:00:59] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens.

[00:01:03] Chelsey Donn: As honest as we can be. You know.

[00:01:05] Trey Gerrald: I never remember. I can't set it up thinking that she's going to not say exactly the same thing that was recorded months ago. Um, anyway. Hey Queen!

[00:01:13] Lodge A Complaint

[00:01:13] Trey Gerrald: Wait. All right. So what's going on? We are 22 minutes late cuz Chelsey has tech issues.

[00:01:20] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God. You guys, I just want to give a live Review right now. For those of us who have watched the videos. Like you just see the back of my room and I thought I should get a green screen. So as a Review Queen, I did a lot of research and I found one that, purported itself to be quite easy. The advertising was really good. There was a girl on a skateboard who was holding the green screen. With the handle on her back. And she was just like skateboarding through Venice and landed at some like chic loft and like, boom, boom, boom. And she set up the whole green screen and it just made it look very sexy and cool. And I was like, she can do this, I can do this. And. I took everything out. Like I had so much time. I was actually running early for once. Which as we know, Trey, eyeroll, doesn't happen all the time, but I was like running early. I was so proud of myself for being ahead and I could not get this thing together on my own. I watched like six different YouTube videos to try and figure it out. Old men, young men. But I had to get my roommate and Sundays, like very important to my roommate slash landlord. He's been like watching a football game and I had a knock on his door to get this green screen together.

[00:02:28] Chelsey Donn: Cause there was no way as one human person, unless I guess you're like master skateboard girl, can you do this on your own? Like there was just, it was not possible to do on your own and it even said in one of the instruction things that I finally saw, like for the unrolling of the green screen, you might need two people. No, no, no. There's no 'might!' You definitely need two people. So I had to interrupt him. He was like, um, can this wait? I was like, no, this cannot wait. I'm recording a podcast. This has to happen right now. I'm sorry. And so he had to pause the game just to help me get this fakakta thing set up. And like, it's not even guys, it's not even that good. Like I got a part of the background, the purple, which I love, I did it to match my nail Polish color, but like the purple and the background is giving me a purple glow on the side of my face. I don't know if anyone has any green-screen tips. Let me know. I guess we'll just call this my lodging of a complaint because God taking a lot of time talking about it. So this is going to be my complaint.

[00:03:23] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint.

[00:03:25] Chelsey Donn: Is it me? Is there a good green-screen out there that I'm just not finding, you guys? I was trying to find something that was portable and easy, and I guess I just don't know how to put these things together, but maybe it'll get better as I like keep doing it.

[00:03:38] Trey Gerrald: Okay. So many thoughts. First of all, I was like, why didn't you just call me? But I'm recognizing you needed four hands...

[00:03:44] Chelsey Donn: I needed like another human on the ground.

[00:03:46] Trey Gerrald: Right. It's hilarious to me that you're like, 'roommate helped me. I need this visual thing for my podcast!', which is just really funny. And then also I am noticing because your beautiful black headphones have purple from your virtual background in the center of them because on the ear cans, you have like a reflective silver that's picking up the green, which is why part of the cans are green.

[00:04:09] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God, I love you. So if I got headphones that didn't have the silver, then it would be not such a situation?

[00:04:17] Trey Gerrald: I'm imagining, but it's actually kind of funny.

[00:04:20] Chelsey Donn: Ha! Okay.

[00:04:21] Trey Gerrald: Spilling over into like your, um, face. I don't know why I know why.

[00:04:25] Chelsey Donn: And like my shirt!

[00:04:26] Trey Gerrald: I don't know. Who knows.

[00:04:27] Chelsey Donn: Geez LaPeez!

[00:04:28] Trey Gerrald: You know, it's a learning process. We are all learning every day.

[00:04:32] Chelsey Donn: It's true, we're learning every single day. And -

[00:04:34] Trey Gerrald: and now post this experience, you have more knowledge about what it takes to unravel green screen!

[00:04:41] Chelsey Donn: It was not as easy as skateboard girl made it seem like it was going to be so lodging a complaint against skateboard girl. Yes. All right, Trey. Do you have a complaint you want a Lodge this week?

[00:04:53] VOICEOVER: Lodge A complaint!

[00:04:54] Trey Gerrald: You know, I have had this on the list for a long time, but I sort of pushed it off for a while because I haven't really encountered it that often of late, but I was at a wedding over the weekend. And, they had a setup in the bathroom, which makes me think that if it was normal times, they would have employed a bathroom attendant. But today I'm lodging a complaint against bathroom attendants.

[00:05:17] Chelsey Donn: Oh, okay!

[00:05:19] Trey Gerrald: I hate them. I went to college in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. So a lot of the bars and clubs we would go to were like touristy. And so they would always have bathroom attendants, and it's so obnoxious because you'll be like, in the energy and experience of like kind of tipsy and like you've just broken the seal, which is annoying. And so you want to get back out there and like, you want to check yourself in the mirror, but there's an attendant. Who's like an all black and a vest. And they like, like, I don't want to be bothered and I don't want to make eye contact with you because if I make eye contact with you, then I feel like I have to engage with you. And then I have to like acknowledged the fact that this is like your career and that like, I should patronize you and give you a tip. And, but like, I would rather just do like my own towels or like do the hand dryer. I don't want to make eye contact with you because then you're going to start pulling the towels and handing them to me. And then I feel like I have to tip you because I've taken the towel from you. And I can't just walk out pre COVID times without washing my hands because that's gross and you're going to jugde me. But like out of an energy to like, not have to engage with the person that's sitting there. So I just really don't like bathroom attendants.

[00:06:26] Trey Gerrald: It's like a time for solace. Maybe this is like a, um, gendered conversation. But generally I think that men are less chatty in a bathroom than perhaps women are. I don't know. I've never been a woman in a bathroom, but I know that there is a social norm with women where it's like, let's go to the bathroom together and you can like check your makeup and like engage and whatever, but men don't really do that. You don't look left and right at a urinal, you don't like chat and talk and -

[00:06:51] Chelsey Donn: You're in, you're out.

[00:06:53] Trey Gerrald: Right? It's, an,, it's like a transactional experience. And so when you throw someone in the mix that is there to facilitate a conversation and, and helping that's annoying. Although, and they had this at the um wedding. But, I do like when there's mouthwash, like I like when they offer you mouthwash or a mint, but then I still feel like, oh, do I have to pay? I have to tip you a dollar because you gave me this one Altoid out of this tin of... like, I know that a tin of Altoids is going to be $3. So like, I'm going to give you $1 for this one Altoid. That seems outrageous. That's an inflation to the worst degree.

[00:07:24] Chelsey Donn: Depends on how bad you need the Altoid, you know?

[00:07:26] Trey Gerrald: And like I'm someone that always wants to have like some sort of good breath situation going on and very aware of breath, like God!

[00:07:34] Chelsey Donn: Too tempting for you to not to say no to the Altoid. Therefore you feel indebted to this person.

[00:07:40] Trey Gerrald: It's come up a lot in this podcast. your feelings about meter maids. And I do think that I do feel equally parallel to bathroom attendants.

[00:07:49] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Okay.

[00:07:50] Trey Gerrald: Because, cause they just occur as a nuisance. The service is lovely, but it's like, I don't want to feel pressured to have to engage in a situation to tip. Like I go into that agreement when I go to a restaurant, cause I know I'm going to be tipping a server, not every bathroom has that agreement and you don't know that you're entering the agreement until you're inside of it. And that feels very wrong. Any listeners that agree with me, please share.

[00:08:16] Chelsey Donn: I agree with you. I agree with you. I think that's an interesting point that you brought up because I befriended a few of these bathroom attendants in my day, you know, get a conversation going. I can talk to most people. So I respect the hustle.

[00:08:33] Trey Gerrald: Have you ever in your life? I think it's only happened once, maybe twice. I definitely can think of one situation. Have you ever gone in an elevator that had an elevator attendant?

[00:08:43] Chelsey Donn: Yes at the Carlyle Hotel in New York, they were still having, attendants in the elevators.

[00:08:49] Trey Gerrald: I think the only time in my life I've ever had a elevator attendant was in like a very old, co-op building on the East Side. It was someone's like book signing event. And yes, there was like the gate and there was a little stool that popped out of the wall that they would sit on and it's like I, I, I I can push the button, like, you know? Wow. It's so interesting. Anyway, that's my Complaint. I'm done.

[00:09:14] Chelsey Donn: Complaint Lodged, Trey. Let it be known!

[00:09:16] Trey Gerrald: Well.

[00:09:17] Chelsey Donn: Okay.