TRANSCRIPT of Episode 27: "Cloud Foot Massager / Amazon Echo Dot"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 27: "Foot Massager / Amazon Echo Dot"


*Please pardon any spelling errors.

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: hi.

[00:00:32] Trey Gerrald: Hello. Welcome to Review That Review. We are the podcast dedicated to reviewing

[00:00:37] Chelsey Donn: reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews!.

[00:00:49] Trey Gerrald: That's Chelsey Donn

[00:00:51] Chelsey Donn: and that's Trey Gerrald

[00:00:53] Trey Gerrald: and together we are

[00:00:54] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens

[00:00:56] Trey Gerrald: Hey Queen! How's your little week goin girl.

[00:01:02] Chelsey Donn: Uh, my week is going okay. I've had a little bit of like a back flare up injury happening, which hasn't been good. Somebody told me I should eat, have some like beet juice, whatever will work. I'm trying. But I was sipping this in the beginning of the intro. And then I realized that my whole mouth turns red and every time I take a sip, so we have that to look forward to Patreon!

[00:01:25] Trey Gerrald: beet juice. I don't think I've Ever consumed beet juice.

[00:01:29] Chelsey Donn: Apparently it's good. Something with the blood. I don't know. I need it.

[00:01:32] Trey Gerrald: So that reminds me of I'm that TV show Doug.

[00:01:36] Chelsey Donn: Oh didn't he love beets?.

[00:01:37] Trey Gerrald: I think like there was a band called the beats or something like that.

[00:01:40] Chelsey Donn: Oh yeah. The Beats. I loved Doug.

[00:01:44] Trey Gerrald: Patty Mayonaise.

[00:01:45] Trey Gerrald: Wasn't there a song like Patty with a pickle in it? Some. Nope. I don't know.

[00:01:49] Trey Gerrald: I

[00:01:49] Trey Gerrald: just hear the mayonnaise for me patio. Yes. But I also remember the transition music was always pop. Yes.

[00:02:00] Trey Gerrald: Such memories with that.

[00:02:02] Trey Gerrald: If you don't know the show dog, then. Sorry.

[00:02:04] Chelsey Donn: Sorry. How's your week going, Trey?

[00:02:07] Trey Gerrald: My weakest good. I randomly, I just got an update on my computer. So I had to like be without my computer for 56 minutes while the new apple software downloaded. Um, so that's interesting.

[00:02:18] Chelsey Donn: That's fun.

[00:02:19] Trey Gerrald: Remember like how I deleted so much stuff and was like, so excited about my computer power. Well, now I'm back down to 150 gigabytes. I don't know how this happened.

[00:02:31] Chelsey Donn: Well, we have a lot of episodes.

[00:02:32] Trey Gerrald: I know, but I've put, they're all offloaded onto an external, so I'm very confused. I don't know. But other than that, thanks for good. I'm doing well. And I'm happy to be co-existing with you for the next hour and change where this proper episode. For the proper app and we're going to be doing this episode. And I'm really excited because we introduced a couple of episodes back our after show podcast, where we get to kibitz more. We get to do some extra Patrion royalty. Only bonus content reviews. I have a really very fun Review! for our after show. So this is your formal invitation listener. If you have not investigated our Patrion, please check it out. We have three tiers. You can choose whichever is the most comfortable for you, and you can get extra queen time every week. I'm loving this

[00:03:32] Chelsey Donn: Who doesn't need more queen time. I need more queen time. You know what I mean?

[00:03:36] Trey Gerrald: It really, um, helps me engage with. my core joy anyway.

[00:03:41] Lodge A Complaint

[00:03:41] Trey Gerrald: So let's move away from core joy. Let's talk a little bit about some negative stuff. Chelsey, would you like to officially open our ledger book and

[00:03:50] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint?

[00:03:52] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I would like to Lodge A Complaint. I'm not over the whole airplane thing, you know? I dunno. It's still on my mind. Cause when I was on the plane, I like wrote down a few things that annoyed me. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, you know what, I'm just going to write this down instead and then talk about it with you guys. It's like a little pet peeve, like you know, when they make an announcement and they're like, we're going to collect the trash now, and then the person. Through with a trash bag. Okay. I hate when they rush through, like, they don't look to both sides of the aisle to see if you have trash. It just feels like there's so much stress. Like as soon as they make that announcement, I need to collect all of my garbage and have it like ready and waiting to go. So that the second, the. Person comes by. I could be like, here, I have trash. I have trash. Like, even though it's technically their job to be collecting the trash, like, I really appreciate it when a flight attendant is going down the aisle and they like, look at me and they're like, how many trash do you have? And trash, like, because sometime. Maybe I was like watching a movie or something and I'm like, oh yeah, I do have trash. Or, or like, whatever. Like, and I just feel like when I get trash on a plane, I immediately get very stressed out. Cause I feel I need to hoard said trash for this moment. Otherwise what happens? What happens if I miss my, my opportunity to throw my trash in the bag? Anyone?

[00:05:20] Trey Gerrald: It's interesting you bring, because there have been at least two occasions I can recall. Where the flight attendant left before I was able to give my trash where I've been stuck with it. And I'm like, well, like now I have to hold it until they finished the entire plane and come back.

[00:05:36] Chelsey Donn: I know exactly. And, and I do do that too, like now, because I'm hypervigilant, like I'm ready. Like I have my trash like prepared. So at the flight engine, not see that it's because they didn't look at me and it's loud and we have masks on now, too. So it's very hard to communicate.

[00:05:56] Trey Gerrald: I just got a visual of I'm going TEN HUT!, with your trash

[00:06:02] Chelsey Donn: and just charging it.

[00:06:03] Trey Gerrald: Is '10 hut' so that everyone knows you're ready. Is that what that phrase is for?

[00:06:07] Chelsey Donn: Oh Trey. I don't know sports things, but I think so. I mean, that's like what the quarterback is that what it's called?

[00:06:14] Trey Gerrald: But like, that's like, you know, that is that. We just aren't ready enough and we're not ready.

[00:06:19] Chelsey Donn: So that's, that's going to be my complaint.

[00:06:21] Trey Gerrald: I hear you. I, I have experienced that and yes, that is one of life's little, like annoying nuisances. That's sort of small, but after a lot, it does, you know, when you've been waiting for five hours to get on the plane, that can be a problem.

[00:06:32] Chelsey Donn: Exactly. That's what I wanted to get off my chest today. How about you Trey? Well, what's going on?

[00:06:37] Trey Gerrald: I have an also like a little tiny annoyance that I think I contribute meaning to. But it is something that happens. So I am a homosexual and I happened to be married to someone who is the same gender.

[00:06:51] Chelsey Donn: Got it.

[00:06:52] Trey Gerrald: We were married before it was federally recognized.

[00:06:57] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:06:58] Trey Gerrald: But it is now 2021. It really bothers me when you use the word husband to someone in conversation and they repeat back to you any other phrase that is not the phrase husband.

[00:07:11] Chelsey Donn: Like partner?

[00:07:12] Trey Gerrald: Partner, boyfriend, friend, person. No, I don't do that to you. If you are a straight CIS man, I don't call your wife, your partner. I will reflect back the phrase that you tell me is the title of the person that is significant to you. That is like a common respect to not belittle. And maybe I understand there is this like fog that occurs whenever I meet someone where I like. Don't listen, I can't get their name. Like I never remember someone like I like, I just, my brain turns off. So I recognize that it may be like you missed that. I said the phrase husband, or maybe there's this societal anxiety around, same-sex marriage I know that not everyone is a homophobe.

[00:07:59] Chelsey Donn: Sure.

[00:07:59] Trey Gerrald: But when I reference husband and you don't refer to David back as husband-

[00:08:05] Chelsey Donn: That's infuriating to you?

[00:08:07] Trey Gerrald: well, it's just disrespectful. And then there becomes a moment of like, do I need to address this?

[00:08:12] Chelsey Donn: Right?

[00:08:12] Trey Gerrald: Do I need to like, be your life lesson? Do I need to make a moment out of this for you to recognize that this is inappropriate?

[00:08:21] Chelsey Donn: Do I need to turn this into a teachable moment for you?

[00:08:25] Trey Gerrald: Correct. Or do I just, shrink myself down to co-exist in your heteronormative view of the world, which is something that I'm sick of doing as a 35 year old and don't have to. So that just is something that is infuriating to me. So I would love that if anyone is ever in a circumstance, just be aware of your contribution to other people's experience of life. We can all learn to be a little bit better about it. And if you have an issue with same-sex marriage, it doesn't matter about my specific life. You know, you don't have to agree with it. I probably don't agree with your hairstyle, but like, I'm not going to let it be known and you don't have to let it be known either. So that is my complaint. It just, it, it needles at my patience. So I'm lodging that, offish.

[00:09:13] Chelsey Donn: Um, I mean, great complaint and I think it's worthy of being Lodged and it also made me think, cause like you, you said in the beginning, which I thought was good. Like sometimes people might not be doing it because they're homophobic, but because they're not listening. Cause a lot of times when there's the anxiety of, I need to introduce myself, it's like, what's my name? What's my name. What's my name. Instead of listening to what your name is or whatever else. So I feel like I've been in that situation before where someone has introduced, you know, heterosexual or homosexual their partner or their wife or whatever it is. And I'm like, wasn't listening to that. So now in the future, I think I'll just say like, Michael, your, was it your husband, your fiance? Was it your, you know, like I'll, I'll take the fall that I wasn't really listening closely.

[00:10:01] Chelsey Donn: I liked that that was a good complaint.

[00:10:03] Trey Gerrald: Anyway. Okay.

[00:10:04] Chelsey Donn: All right.

[00:10:05] Trey Gerrald: