TRANSCRIPT of Episode 27: "Cloud Foot Massager / Amazon Echo Dot"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 27: "Foot Massager / Amazon Echo Dot"


*Please pardon any spelling errors.

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: hi.

[00:00:32] Trey Gerrald: Hello. Welcome to Review That Review. We are the podcast dedicated to reviewing

[00:00:37] Chelsey Donn: reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews!.

[00:00:49] Trey Gerrald: That's Chelsey Donn

[00:00:51] Chelsey Donn: and that's Trey Gerrald

[00:00:53] Trey Gerrald: and together we are

[00:00:54] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens

[00:00:56] Trey Gerrald: Hey Queen! How's your little week goin girl.

[00:01:02] Chelsey Donn: Uh, my week is going okay. I've had a little bit of like a back flare up injury happening, which hasn't been good. Somebody told me I should eat, have some like beet juice, whatever will work. I'm trying. But I was sipping this in the beginning of the intro. And then I realized that my whole mouth turns red and every time I take a sip, so we have that to look forward to Patreon!

[00:01:25] Trey Gerrald: beet juice. I don't think I've Ever consumed beet juice.

[00:01:29] Chelsey Donn: Apparently it's good. Something with the blood. I don't know. I need it.

[00:01:32] Trey Gerrald: So that reminds me of I'm that TV show Doug.

[00:01:36] Chelsey Donn: Oh didn't he love beets?.

[00:01:37] Trey Gerrald: I think like there was a band called the beats or something like that.

[00:01:40] Chelsey Donn: Oh yeah. The Beats. I loved Doug.

[00:01:44] Trey Gerrald: Patty Mayonaise.

[00:01:45] Trey Gerrald: Wasn't there a song like Patty with a pickle in it? Some. Nope. I don't know.

[00:01:49] Trey Gerrald: I

[00:01:49] Trey Gerrald: just hear the mayonnaise for me patio. Yes. But I also remember the transition music was always pop. Yes.

[00:02:00] Trey Gerrald: Such memories with that.

[00:02:02] Trey Gerrald: If you don't know the show dog, then. Sorry.

[00:02:04] Chelsey Donn: Sorry. How's your week going, Trey?

[00:02:07] Trey Gerrald: My weakest good. I randomly, I just got an update on my computer. So I had to like be without my computer for 56 minutes while the new apple software downloaded. Um, so that's interesting.

[00:02:18] Chelsey Donn: That's fun.

[00:02:19] Trey Gerrald: Remember like how I deleted so much stuff and was like, so excited about my computer power. Well, now I'm back down to 150 gigabytes. I don't know how this happened.

[00:02:31] Chelsey Donn: Well, we have a lot of episodes.

[00:02:32] Trey Gerrald: I know, but I've put, they're all offloaded onto an external, so I'm very confused. I don't know. But other than that, thanks for good. I'm doing well. And I'm happy to be co-existing with you for the next hour and change where this proper episode. For the proper app and we're going to be doing this episode. And I'm really excited because we introduced a couple of episodes back our after show podcast, where we get to kibitz more. We get to do some extra Patrion royalty. Only bonus content reviews. I have a really very fun Review! for our after show. So this is your formal invitation listener. If you have not investigated our Patrion, please check it out. We have three tiers. You can choose whichever is the most comfortable for you, and you can get extra queen time every week. I'm loving this

[00:03:32] Chelsey Donn: Who doesn't need more queen time. I need more queen time. You know what I mean?

[00:03:36] Trey Gerrald: It really, um, helps me engage with. my core joy anyway.

[00:03:41] Lodge A Complaint

[00:03:41] Trey Gerrald: So let's move away from core joy. Let's talk a little bit about some negative stuff. Chelsey, would you like to officially open our ledger book and

[00:03:50] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint?

[00:03:52] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I would like to Lodge A Complaint. I'm not over the whole airplane thing, you know? I dunno. It's still on my mind. Cause when I was on the plane, I like wrote down a few things that annoyed me. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, you know what, I'm just going to write this down instead and then talk about it with you guys. It's like a little pet peeve, like you know, when they make an announcement and they're like, we're going to collect the trash now, and then the person. Through with a trash bag. Okay. I hate when they rush through, like, they don't look to both sides of the aisle to see if you have trash. It just feels like there's so much stress. Like as soon as they make that announcement, I need to collect all of my garbage and have it like ready and waiting to go. So that the second, the. Person comes by. I could be like, here, I have trash. I have trash. Like, even though it's technically their job to be collecting the trash, like, I really appreciate it when a flight attendant is going down the aisle and they like, look at me and they're like, how many trash do you have? And trash, like, because sometime. Maybe I was like watching a movie or something and I'm like, oh yeah, I do have trash. Or, or like, whatever. Like, and I just feel like when I get trash on a plane, I immediately get very stressed out. Cause I feel I need to hoard said trash for this moment. Otherwise what happens? What happens if I miss my, my opportunity to throw my trash in the bag? Anyone?

[00:05:20] Trey Gerrald: It's interesting you bring, because there have been at least two occasions I can recall. Where the flight attendant left before I was able to give my trash where I've been stuck with it. And I'm like, well, like now I have to hold it until they finished the entire plane and come back.

[00:05:36] Chelsey Donn: I know exactly. And, and I do do that too, like now, because I'm hypervigilant, like I'm ready. Like I have my trash like prepared. So at the flight engine, not see that it's because they didn't look at me and it's loud and we have masks on now, too. So it's very hard to communicate.

[00:05:56] Trey Gerrald: I just got a visual of I'm going TEN HUT!, with your trash

[00:06:02] Chelsey Donn: and just charging it.

[00:06:03] Trey Gerrald: Is '10 hut' so that everyone knows you're ready. Is that what that phrase is for?

[00:06:07] Chelsey Donn: Oh Trey. I don't know sports things, but I think so. I mean, that's like what the quarterback is that what it's called?

[00:06:14] Trey Gerrald: But like, that's like, you know, that is that. We just aren't ready enough and we're not ready.

[00:06:19] Chelsey Donn: So that's, that's going to be my complaint.

[00:06:21] Trey Gerrald: I hear you. I, I have experienced that and yes, that is one of life's little, like annoying nuisances. That's sort of small, but after a lot, it does, you know, when you've been waiting for five hours to get on the plane, that can be a problem.

[00:06:32] Chelsey Donn: Exactly. That's what I wanted to get off my chest today. How about you Trey? Well, what's going on?

[00:06:37] Trey Gerrald: I have an also like a little tiny annoyance that I think I contribute meaning to. But it is something that happens. So I am a homosexual and I happened to be married to someone who is the same gender.

[00:06:51] Chelsey Donn: Got it.

[00:06:52] Trey Gerrald: We were married before it was federally recognized.

[00:06:57] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:06:58] Trey Gerrald: But it is now 2021. It really bothers me when you use the word husband to someone in conversation and they repeat back to you any other phrase that is not the phrase husband.

[00:07:11] Chelsey Donn: Like partner?

[00:07:12] Trey Gerrald: Partner, boyfriend, friend, person. No, I don't do that to you. If you are a straight CIS man, I don't call your wife, your partner. I will reflect back the phrase that you tell me is the title of the person that is significant to you. That is like a common respect to not belittle. And maybe I understand there is this like fog that occurs whenever I meet someone where I like. Don't listen, I can't get their name. Like I never remember someone like I like, I just, my brain turns off. So I recognize that it may be like you missed that. I said the phrase husband, or maybe there's this societal anxiety around, same-sex marriage I know that not everyone is a homophobe.

[00:07:59] Chelsey Donn: Sure.

[00:07:59] Trey Gerrald: But when I reference husband and you don't refer to David back as husband-

[00:08:05] Chelsey Donn: That's infuriating to you?

[00:08:07] Trey Gerrald: well, it's just disrespectful. And then there becomes a moment of like, do I need to address this?

[00:08:12] Chelsey Donn: Right?

[00:08:12] Trey Gerrald: Do I need to like, be your life lesson? Do I need to make a moment out of this for you to recognize that this is inappropriate?

[00:08:21] Chelsey Donn: Do I need to turn this into a teachable moment for you?

[00:08:25] Trey Gerrald: Correct. Or do I just, shrink myself down to co-exist in your heteronormative view of the world, which is something that I'm sick of doing as a 35 year old and don't have to. So that just is something that is infuriating to me. So I would love that if anyone is ever in a circumstance, just be aware of your contribution to other people's experience of life. We can all learn to be a little bit better about it. And if you have an issue with same-sex marriage, it doesn't matter about my specific life. You know, you don't have to agree with it. I probably don't agree with your hairstyle, but like, I'm not going to let it be known and you don't have to let it be known either. So that is my complaint. It just, it, it needles at my patience. So I'm lodging that, offish.

[00:09:13] Chelsey Donn: Um, I mean, great complaint and I think it's worthy of being Lodged and it also made me think, cause like you, you said in the beginning, which I thought was good. Like sometimes people might not be doing it because they're homophobic, but because they're not listening. Cause a lot of times when there's the anxiety of, I need to introduce myself, it's like, what's my name? What's my name. What's my name. Instead of listening to what your name is or whatever else. So I feel like I've been in that situation before where someone has introduced, you know, heterosexual or homosexual their partner or their wife or whatever it is. And I'm like, wasn't listening to that. So now in the future, I think I'll just say like, Michael, your, was it your husband, your fiance? Was it your, you know, like I'll, I'll take the fall that I wasn't really listening closely.

[00:10:01] Chelsey Donn: I liked that that was a good complaint.

[00:10:03] Trey Gerrald: Anyway. Okay.

[00:10:04] Chelsey Donn: All right.

[00:10:05] Trey Gerrald: Should we do it?

[00:10:06] Chelsey Donn: I think it's time! As you guys know, we are your trusty Review! Queens. We each bring in a review from the internet that we feel needs to be inspected.

[00:10:14] Trey Gerrald: We read you the Review!, we break it down and we rate the impact of the review on a scale from one to five crowns. That is a very Regal process that we like to call,

[00:10:25] VOICEOVER: Assess That Kvetch!.

[00:10:27] Chelsey Donn: All right, Trey. You are first today. Are you ready?

[00:10:30] Trey Gerrald: YippieAyokya!

[00:10:31] Chelsey Donn: Take it away RQ!

[00:10:37] Cloud Foot Massager 1 Star Review

[00:10:37] VOICEOVER: Review That Review.

[00:10:41] Trey Gerrald: So today, Chelsey, I was inspired from a double date with our friends, Marc Tuminelli, and James Donnegan!

[00:10:48] Chelsey Donn: love them!

[00:10:49] Trey Gerrald: For this amazing product that Marc has. I think James bought it for him. I don't know. It's called a Cloud foot massager.

[00:10:57] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:10:58] Trey Gerrald: I'm not really a foot massage person, but Marc was like, you have to try it. It's amazing. It has like heat and it has like inflatable air pumps on the side to like compress. And then it has like the roll leaf. It's just this like, amazing thing.

[00:11:11] Chelsey Donn: Is it gonna have a title that's going to infuriate me?

[00:11:15] Trey Gerrald: Okay, just you wait, we need a sound cue for that. So I was like, let me try it. It's amazing. It's $300, but I have been talking this ever since that night and it's now been several weeks and they either bounce between a $100 off coupon or a $150 coupon, like click here to apply the coupon, which is interesting.

[00:11:36] Trey Gerrald: So. Marc told me he got it for a hundred dollars off, so, okay. Whatever. So I was like, let me like look this up. And wouldn't, you know, my research for this episode was complete because I have for all of you today, a one-star review from for the cloud massage shots. Foot massager machine increases, blood flow circulation, deep kneading with heat therapy, deep tissue, plantar fasciitis, diabetes neuropathy.

[00:12:10] Chelsey Donn: Wow. Okay.

[00:12:11] Trey Gerrald: And this one star review is written by sharkinocean I know. Shark in ocean.

[00:12:21] Chelsey Donn: Oh, shark. Oh my God. wait, what did you say the first time?!

[00:12:28] Trey Gerrald: I-no-seen?! Shark, but in ocean is one word. It's the last time name. Shark Inocean

[00:12:34] Chelsey Donn: Shark Inocean. Okay. Sounds devious.

[00:12:38] Trey Gerrald: All right. So here we go. Shark Inocean's subject is men and big legged people. Please read why one star, skinny leg people hands down, four exclamation marks, Five Stars. People was spelled PPL. That is the subject.

[00:13:00] Chelsey Donn: Okay,

[00:13:01] Trey Gerrald: Please read for all people. I deal with bad cramps in my calves and ankles slash feet. I will start with the pause first, which would have gave it a five stars for those. It applies to parentheses skinny CAF people.

[00:13:25] Trey Gerrald: Pressure is great parentheses, not for wimpy people and has all the great bells and whistles. Heat rollers side to side motion and vibrating, everything I'm looking for and a massaging device, especially at this price I'm disabled and don't have this kind of money to throw around. That's why I'm very disappointed in this item, which brings me to the neg and the reason I have to return this awesome product.

[00:13:54] Trey Gerrald: Number one, it's too small of an opening. It is not designed for men. I have sexy calves that people pay money for wife's words, not mine. Yet I can't for them in this cath massaging device, which doesn't make sense. That's what it's designed for five exclamation mark. That pic of the lady with the actual leg in it is totally miss leading.

[00:14:26] Trey Gerrald: I am a very large person, but my legs are in excellent shape parentheses, mostly because of the weight they hold and how active I am for a large man, that lady has to be an interact sick. There is no way in hell that a knee or thigh Canfor put in the. Endless you are a wafer. And in that case, please don't show miss leading pick of how an item is perfect for everyone.

[00:14:57] Trey Gerrald: When you are a size negative for K K no, it's it's K two exclamation marks. It's not a question. Okay. Then people like me, period, won't waste this company's time period, having to return this item. Thanks for exclamation marks. The other issue is period, tall people, period, your legs hang over and it hurts your feet slash back of ankles, period, from hanging over and resting on the edge of the machine. They should have padding or a lower design on the front and back of that. If you are tough. T U F F and have small lags O M G worth every penny. It was fantastic on the feet, but what a tease, it's my calves that are killing me and keeping me awake at nights, men and fat legged people, period buyers, be aware, period.

[00:16:00] Trey Gerrald: Plan on sending it. For the company that makes this product period be realistic about your product and the actual people that need it. The opening period needs to be an inch wider, five exclamation marks, all caps fact three exclamation mark. So, if you were listening period, design it, maybe even wider. So we could put knees and thighs, I period it, period.

[00:16:30] Trey Gerrald: Believe me, period, your product period would be a gold mine period. The other thing you need to do period is add a remote period. It's hard to reach the buttons laying flat on the. Also your so-called 360 degree arm slash prop period. Won't do a full 360 period faults, F a U L T S advertising period. The plug stops it, from one of the positions, poor design.

[00:17:06] Chelsey Donn: I mean, oh my God, listen. First of all, there were so many spelling and grammar errors in this review from shark in the ocean that I thought maybe, maybe he's like Shakespeare. Maybe he's just like reinventing the whole like grammar, punctuation, rhythm. Maybe he just, I dunno why I'm assigning male pronouns. Maybe they're just starting a whole new revolution because. Jeez. There was a lot of errors,

[00:17:34] Trey Gerrald: Shark Inocean does say that they were a very large man. So I think we can use he him pronouns. I don't know if that's too assumptive. Okay. But it's interesting to me because they never once spell out the word people. So the amount of times, it's the people it's always PPL. Oh, I should tell you that, that 57 people found this

[00:17:55] Chelsey Donn: helpful. Okay. Well here, I mean, that's the thing is I do think there's a message within this Review! I think, I don't know. I'm a bigger person, so I would want to know this might be a tight squeeze. Now this is definitely for the calf and the foot, right? This cloud thing?

[00:18:14] Trey Gerrald: So What's cool about it. Yeah. It does have as Shark Inocean referenced at is a foot massager, but both ends are open. So you can like stand on that and it will be your feet. Or you can use this 360 degree rotating arm to sort of stand it on its side.

[00:18:33] Trey Gerrald: Oh. And then you can press your calves, the bottom of your legs into it. Correct.

[00:18:39] Chelsey Donn: I see. Okay. That makes sense. Just like a lot about shark in the oceans calves. I mean, at first I thought it was just, you know, this like kind of public service announcement for people that have a little bit above average pav size. And then once they started talking about how their wife said that people would pay for these cat. And they really, they said that they're so active for a large man. I just thought, wow.

[00:19:11] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, we get a lot of detail. I like, I appreciate that Shark Inocean really spells out their context for their complaint. And I really do appreciate that. They're saying. The device should be five stars minus this flaw.

[00:19:28] Chelsey Donn: I was surprised at the end, when they were giving the recommendation to the manufacturer that they said to only change it one inch for such a lengthy complaint. I imagine this is grossly off. I mean,

[00:19:42] Trey Gerrald: that's a really great point. Chelsey!

[00:19:45] Chelsey Donn: An Inch is nothing

[00:19:48] Trey Gerrald: an inch. We'll give this one. It's extra for and

[00:19:52] Chelsey Donn: what, like, that just seems so minuscule unless, you know, the point is correct. And then the measurement is just way off. But

[00:20:00] Trey Gerrald: I do have a very serious question about Shark Inocean this entire Review!. I just instantly think that this is an 80 year old that thinks that they are. Filling out a form for the manufacturing company, because the whole, like, even the Review! the first sentence, please read for all people. Oh. But it's just, it does feel to me like shark feels like this as a design flaw that could be corrected. And so they want to get that point across to the company. Now I recognize like all bodies show up in different ways. Uh, shark really takes on powerfully what their body is correct. So it did make me a little uncomfortable when shark assigns anorexia to the model. Uh, we obviously know that the modeling industry has had a long history of amplifying dangerous body types, but it did feel a little like, wait, what?

[00:21:01] Chelsey Donn: I mean, the anorexia comment was by far my least favorite of the entire Review! it like really? Before that I was, I was like, okay, we've got some spelling errors, but there's still pointing here. And then after that shark in the ocean or Shark Inocean really lost me, I really, really hate that.

[00:21:19] Trey Gerrald: I also am wondering because literally the sentence after the anorexic comment, shark says, there's no way in hell that a knee or thigh confer put in this, which they just spell. F I R throughout the entire Review!, except for the very end. So it's like, I thought maybe like they're Southern and they just say fir,

[00:21:39] Chelsey Donn: we thought that it was like one time. It was like, I thought it was just a mistake for Fitbit.

[00:21:46] Trey Gerrald: Me too, but it seems like they just, they don't hit the oh, on the keyboard. Cause it's right next to the eye.

[00:21:52] Trey Gerrald: Did they also spell misleading? M I S S space L E a D I N J yes.

[00:21:58] Trey Gerrald: Yes. You got my reading. I

[00:22:00] Chelsey Donn: did. I was like, oh,

[00:22:02] Trey Gerrald: this is leaving, but now I'm wondering if. Wants to pull this device up to their thigh, which there's definitely no way your thigh is going to fit up like that, that isn't what it's designed for.

[00:22:18] Trey Gerrald: And they make the, they make these little leg massagers. Cause I did look that are $800.

[00:22:25] Chelsey Donn: The do the hall, all Fang.

[00:22:27] Trey Gerrald: So then that makes me think, does shark just want this product to be what it's not, or was it too small for their actual lag? And he's sort of alluding to the fact that he couldn't really get the leg

[00:22:37] Chelsey Donn: up.

[00:22:37] Chelsey Donn: I mean, I get it. If you can't get the leg in, then it's not going to work. So like I said, that's really the only useful thing in this whole Review! everything else is just kind of weird. And I don't understand why they're pitching another product at the end of the. To the manufacturers. I mean, maybe that's helpful for the manufacturers to know like what people want, but I just thought this Review! was all over the place. Like you're assigning it a one-star, but then you're saying that there are five star qualities to it within the Review! you're just talking about tall people

[00:23:13] Trey Gerrald: and. Big legged people and fat

[00:23:16] Chelsey Donn: people, big people, small people like

[00:23:18] Trey Gerrald: Skinny calf people. That's, that's what I wanted to say. It's I can't distinguish what there may be. Like, I wonder if they were typing on a phone and so like, that's why there's so many misspellings or something because they really like, don't really stick. They say CAFS, and then later they say calves. So it's like, They were saying, they know that at some point it's not spelled C a L F S. C a L V E S like it J it's very confusing and I don't get what's up with all these periods.

[00:23:54] Chelsey Donn: I don't, I just don't get up. It's all like how many wimpy people, you know, like how many times they reference people,

[00:24:02] Trey Gerrald: they also say like endless, instead of, unless you are a wafer. It's very triggering. I feel it. I feel like sharp, darkest, trying to pick up all of these, like possibly triggering

[00:24:19] Chelsey Donn: definition of abuse for anyone reading this. Like I think that's

[00:24:24] Trey Gerrald: what I wanted to say earlier. It was. Shark really takes on. Look, I am a fat legged person, so I'm going to speak of fat legged person experiences, but then they start talking

[00:24:35] Chelsey Donn: about other things without like, it's like, those are not your experiences. Shark in ocean, you have some sort of test group where you and a whole variety of people try out this product and give their assessment. I don't really know why you're speaking for the skinny leg and people or the wimpy people as you define them or whatever it is because you're not that person. And I'm not interested in those people's opinions.

[00:25:04] Chelsey Donn: Like this is your opinion of the product.

[00:25:06] Trey Gerrald: I think no sharks says.

[00:25:10] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, this is your fact. Okay. Whatever.

[00:25:17] Trey Gerrald: Uh, but you

[00:25:19] VOICEOVER: know what I'm

[00:25:20] Chelsey Donn: saying? I'm just saying, like, I think that they really stepped out of line here in talking about other people's experience in making the anorexic comment and calling other people wimpy and all these things that I think are just extremely unnecessary. And if shark and ocean had taken a moment to distill down their point, which is. It's unfortunate. This is a great product and yes, it works as advertised, but I have larger thighs and I couldn't use it. Fine. But that's not what was, there was a lot here. That was not that

[00:25:52] Trey Gerrald: to me. I wonder if they were speaking this to Siri. I like a speak to text. I think I wonder if they were like, Hey Siri. Leave a review on Amazon. Maybe that's why my phone just started me. Maybe that's why it has so many periods anyway. Okay. So we know, the spelling and grammar is totally zero, probably the worst on the spot custody, but I do find the information about. Gap that is sort of valuable to me. It does have an impression for me. I believe shark is being truthful now, but do we do think that this is a common experience? Do you think other people are finding this issue?

[00:26:32] Chelsey Donn: Well, you know, I don't know, maybe shark and ocean. I wasn't using it properly. Maybe sharper notion, like you said, didn't understand that this is especially, they're saying the one inch thing that this is a compression item and you might need to squeeze yourself into it a little bit. You know, that's just the way, I mean, every boot I've ever worn, I got to squeeze my foot in there. Like, it's just, sometimes you got to do a little squeeze and maybe shark and ocean wasn't used to that squeeze or maybe sharpen ocean does in fact have tremendously large thighs that is outside of. You know, even somebody like you, who thinks that they have large, oh, sorry, not that

[00:27:10] Trey Gerrald: correct. That is true. Like I do think there is a, I think there's a distinction between guests. This, this is not designed for thighs buys are going to always be larger than caps. So, but if, but sharks first complaint is that their cat it's too tight for the cat. Right. So I, I do believe that is truthful. So I would imagine that this probably is not a fluke. I feel like people probably have encountered this. Sure. So that was a sort of be like, if I fall in that category or not, which to shark's credit, they really sort of laid out. That look at people pay attention skinny, like people with five stars and over there in the corner, but it is just like, it is at the anorexic

[00:27:50] Chelsey Donn: model.

[00:27:50] Chelsey Donn: I mean, geez. A little disheartening, right?

[00:27:52] Trey Gerrald: It is the whole thing was about, so then what about the humor and

[00:27:56] Chelsey Donn: total anecdotal? You know, just funny, not, not in an intentional

[00:28:01] Trey Gerrald: way, like I was laughing at not laughing.

[00:28:04] Chelsey Donn: Exactly. And then like the impact for me. It's sort of some, it reminds me a little bit of the left-handed home situation where it's like, right, where it's like, if this is my situation, like maybe I'm going to take it into consideration.

[00:28:20] Chelsey Donn: Maybe I'm going to try and look at the measurements of the item. I'm going to do a little bit more research to see if I'm going to have a problem fitting into this. Right. If I don't fit into that category, moving on, which, which I guess to shark and oceans credit, he did set up for in the beginning.

[00:28:38] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:28:38] Trey Gerrald: This was all not making me feel a little confused about how I'm going to crown that I

[00:28:41] Chelsey Donn: know because of the left-handed. Well not, I mean, I, I think I know how to crown it. Do you want to cry?

[00:28:48] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, let's do it. Let's that's it. All right. So Chelsey and I each have our own set up one to five ground cards and in an effort to be fair and not influenced by one another, we will simultaneously reveal our ratings.

[00:29:01] VOICEOVER: The Queens are tabulating.

[00:29:03] Chelsey Donn: I'm ready.

[00:29:08] VOICEOVER: Total score.

[00:29:10] Chelsey Donn: Okay, I'm holding up one and a half. Crowns. Trey is holding up two crowns, the one and a half crowns purely because good, good to know that. Maybe it's a little bit on the snugger side. All the other kinds were taken away because the spelling, grammar all over the place. And I didn't really like the attitude and the way that shark and ocean was talking about the other quote, unquote.

[00:29:33] Chelsey Donn: People, uh, that he referenced. And for that reason, I couldn't give him more than one and a half crowns. Why did you give shark and ocean two crowns.

[00:29:42] Trey Gerrald: Tray? Yeah, pretty similar. I gave two because it raises an awareness of like length of the openings. But generally, if you were leaving a review that is written, please do a spell check, but the what's wrong with you.

[00:29:57] Trey Gerrald: This is to be read. I have a little bit of awareness. That like it's unreadable. This is readable. Yeah. There were more than three instances where I had to like pause to figure out what was intended and that is obnoxious. Yeah. I mean, it's 57 people. Uh, helpful, you know, if this was cheaper, it would already be in my house.

[00:30:21] Trey Gerrald: Right. So I guess ultimately the impact isn't that strong, but it does like raise a little bit of an awareness about what is needed from this product, you know? So that's why I gave to the spelling. I've never, I mean, this is just atrocious and a little bit of me thinks that shark and ocean probably would not refer to David as.

[00:30:42] Chelsey Donn: Oh, part of me, gray is also miss landing

[00:30:46] Trey Gerrald: mis leading.

[00:30:48] Chelsey Donn: I was going to say, I was going to say all kinds of fun packs.

[00:30:54] Trey Gerrald: Great. So we did it. All right. So Chelsey, we're going to go on a quick break and then when we come back, we're going to deep dive into your Review!.

[00:31:02] Chelsey Donn: No, can't wait, love it. BRB.

[00:31:07] VOICEOVER: Hold your crown.

[00:31:08] VOICEOVER: We'll be right back.

[00:31:21] SuperChewer Offer

[00:31:21] Trey Gerrald: Chelsea and I are so excited to share this exclusive Review Queen offer from super Now from the makers of BarkBox super chewer as a monthly subscription-based service for those dogs that need tougher and more durable toys every month, you and your puppy will receive a box right to your front door.

[00:31:40] Trey Gerrald: That is loaded with two tough toys to meet each. And two full bags of treats that are customizable for allergy and diet preferences. Super chewer is offering listeners of Review That Review one extra month free when you use our link. Super Sign up right now at super

[00:32:29] Meryl-Go-Round

[00:32:29] Trey Gerrald: Oh, it's game time. Chelsea let's get ready to strap in and take a spin on the Meryl-Go-Round.

[00:32:35] Chelsey Donn: I feel

[00:32:36] Trey Gerrald: like an icon most of the day, I

[00:32:38] Chelsey Donn: feel like that's with an a all right. Here's the deal, Trey and I have each picked a rotten scathing, pithy One-Star-Zinger and with 30 seconds on the clock, we'll take turns, trying to recite the zinger in as many genres as possible.

[00:32:57] Trey Gerrald: Just like queen Meryl Streep, who does it all before the clock runs out. All right, Chelsea, tell us what is your One-Star-Zinger for today?

[00:33:05] Chelsey Donn: Okay. So my One-Star-Zinger for today is from Sephora. It is for two faced lip injection, extreme lip plumper.

[00:33:15] Trey Gerrald: I have that. You do.

[00:33:17] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Okay. Well, we'll see if you agree with bubblegum.

[00:33:21] Chelsey Donn: Yum. Mmm. Bubblegum, yum wrote a one-star review of this product. She said this, I don't know why I'm assigning them female pronouns. This felt like needles stabbing the inside of my lip. Do you find it painful?

[00:33:41] Trey Gerrald: Um, yeah, but that's the point that it doesn't, if it didn't sting, you wouldn't think it was working.

[00:33:45] Trey Gerrald: I

[00:33:45] Chelsey Donn: completely agree. I need to feel the stab in order to feel like it's going to be a successful at

[00:33:50] Trey Gerrald: plumper. Okay. So today I'm going to have you strapped and on a neon open sign, that's flashing, coming out of. You ready? Yes. Southern

[00:34:05] Chelsey Donn: needles, stamina inside of

[00:34:08] Trey Gerrald: adult film

[00:34:10] Chelsey Donn: needles, stabbing

[00:34:13] Trey Gerrald: operatives. This

[00:34:15] Chelsey Donn: fuck like

[00:34:19] Trey Gerrald: WW. It's

[00:34:21] VOICEOVER: not like needles stabbing me inside of my musical theater now lock needles on the inside, on

[00:34:30] Trey Gerrald: my lap. Disney like needles, stabbing

[00:34:36] Trey Gerrald: Chelsey. You got sad. Oh

[00:34:40] VOICEOVER: my gosh. What a rush.

[00:34:44] Trey Gerrald: Okay, great. All right. So today my. As from This is from Joe C. The last name is St. Not Josie, Josie. Oh, yes. And this is for the citrus and Bazell 100% soy wax candle. And Joe's subject is in quotes, which I checked. They wrote the quotes. The quotes are not like that.

[00:35:12] Trey Gerrald: Doesn't formulate quote, can I have my money back? The eye is not capitalized. And then Joel sees Review! it. I let it burn for at least an hour when lit it smells absolutely like wax. Okay. It's a 100% soy wax candle, but I guess the scent doesn't smell they've needed more of a sense.

[00:35:38] Chelsey Donn: Interesting. Okay. All right.

[00:35:40] Chelsey Donn: All right, Josie, you are shopped into a pickle jar try. So what you're inside of the pickle jar, half sour. So don't draw it in there cause you have a lot to do. Are you ready?

[00:35:56] Trey Gerrald: I just pictured Jack and rose from Titanic on like a pickle

[00:36:01] VOICEOVER: and then we're

[00:36:02] Trey Gerrald: like, okay. And then she does.

[00:36:04] VOICEOVER: All right. I'm running. She does.

[00:36:05] Chelsey Donn: All right. Let's see.

[00:36:10] Chelsey Donn: Courtroom

[00:36:11] Trey Gerrald: drama. I let it burn for at least an hour when lit it smells absolutely like wax

[00:36:17] Chelsey Donn: adult film. Hey Linux

[00:36:20] VOICEOVER: for at least an hour.

[00:36:22] Trey Gerrald: When the late breaking news, I let it burn for at least an hour when lit it smells absolutely like wax pop

[00:36:32] VOICEOVER: song.

[00:36:39] Chelsey Donn: there

[00:36:42] Trey Gerrald: was a disaster. I knew it

[00:36:43] Chelsey Donn: was too long for, for you try

[00:36:50] Trey Gerrald: so proud of you, girl. I'm so glad you were on that open side. Thank

[00:36:54] Chelsey Donn: God. Thank God. It was open and I walked right through that victory. Woo.

[00:37:00] VOICEOVER: Yay.

[00:37:03] Amazon Echo Dot 1 Star Review

[00:37:03] VOICEOVER: Review That Review.

[00:37:06] Trey Gerrald: Okie dokie. Chucky's we are back from that rousing game break and Chelsey Donn. It's your turn. What is your Review! for us? Okay,

[00:37:15] Chelsey Donn: Trey. My review today is also from Amazon. And not only is it from Amazon, but it is a review of the Amazon echo dot I think. Do you have these in your

[00:37:29] Trey Gerrald: house? We have the show. We don't, we have a dot, but it's not plugged in.

[00:37:34] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Well, that's probably good because AlternativeAddiction RockAffliction. That's the name of the person? Whoa.

[00:37:44] Chelsey Donn: Alternative. This is a lot AlternativeAddiction RockAffliction. Should we have a nickname for them

[00:37:55] Trey Gerrald: now? I think we have to say the entire, the whole thing. Alternative addiction,

[00:37:59] Chelsey Donn: rock

[00:38:00] Trey Gerrald: collection. Diction rock affliction. Okay. Yes, I'm sure this is like some heavy metal quote.

[00:38:05] Chelsey Donn: Oh, maybe we don't know such things, but this is alternative addiction.

[00:38:09] Chelsey Donn: Rock afflictions. One star review on Amazon of the Amazon echo dot the subject is potentially the most dangerous device in your home with an exclamation point.

[00:38:25] Trey Gerrald: Okay, here we go.

[00:38:26] VOICEOVER: Here we go.

[00:38:29] Chelsey Donn: Works too good. Apparently while I was asleep, I woke up for a few minutes. But wasn't really coherent. I D K what I said, if anything, to activate the Alexa controller device, however, it recorded several minutes of me babbling on, about dropping my medication box all over the floor. It was then sent out to my friends that had an Amazon. They're friends and family, and God knows where else. Apparently it had used my contacts to send that voice message to my friends, family, and everyone in my contacts. It also somehow sent the voice message to my friends, contacts and their contacts and so on and so on. And so. I turned off my Amazon dot that day after several of my friends called me to ask what's going on at 7:00 AM or so I was woken up by a long babbling message from you. One friend said his sister got it too. I don't know his sister. Careful people PPL I've since gone into my Amazon account slash devices slash recordings and found hundreds, if not thousands of voice commands, messages, et cetera, et cetera.

[00:40:02] Chelsey Donn: I deleted them all. And de-registered my several devices that I no longer own. I didn't know, they stay connected until you remove them and all the data retrieved by them. Very dangerous device, if not properly and thoroughly set up, completely read all the instructions, follow them and go to a non. Amazon site for tips, ideas, and what, and what not to do sincerely and embarrassed, frustrated and unhappy Amazon echo dot third generation. What not to do previous user.

[00:40:50] Trey Gerrald: AlternativeAddiction RockAffliction. Well, okay. So I did know that they stay connected until you manually do. Remember. I did well because I always was sort of of the mind. That's why I thought this was going to like go into conspiracy. You know, I was very aware when I first purchased an Alexa device that like, it's always listening, terrifying, and I am someone who has.

[00:41:15] Trey Gerrald: It's this little like sliding device I bought to cover the little camera on my computer.

[00:41:20] Chelsey Donn: Right. But you have someone listening to all the

[00:41:23] Trey Gerrald: time. Well, but you know, I also know someone who works for the government in a way that I'm not supposed to know.

[00:41:30] Trey Gerrald: And they said like they could neither confirm nor deny. If people are listening in, but if you're not saying anything of illegal value than like why you care, which I like, you know, for whatever reason that comforted me. But, but, but I have all of my lights, everything is on Alexa. So I can verbalize every night when we go to sleep, I've never considered the recording log history, which now yeah.

[00:41:57] Trey Gerrald: Well, alternative addiction, rock affliction has like really put that into my mind. I want to, I'm so curious. I wonder if like it has recorded me singing defying gravity 9 million times. Sure.

[00:42:08] Chelsey Donn: It has. What about the sending thing? as like an Amazon. Uh, a device user. Can you talk about how that might have happened?

[00:42:17] Trey Gerrald: I mean, you would have to command it to do that. I've never, I have never, this is interesting coming

[00:42:23] Chelsey Donn: off of the friends like

[00:42:25] Trey Gerrald: that though. I, that really doesn't make any sense to me. Yeah. I wonder if they, if they didn't know them, they must've had their content. I bet that is an excusable to me. I don't

[00:42:36] Chelsey Donn: understand.

[00:42:36] Chelsey Donn: It doesn't make any sense, like, they said that it was set to friends, family, and everyone in my contacts. And it also somehow send the voice message to my friends, contacts and their contacts and so on and so

[00:42:49] Trey Gerrald: on. That's so weird. I wonder if, I don't know, I've never heard of that. I've never sent a text that way. I will just say that on the other end of that. My friend who was a caretaker for their parent. I'm in a different state. Whenever the parent wouldn't answer the phone. Which would happen because of a mental issue they could drop in on the Alexa and say, dad, dad, hello. Cause it like has a walkie-talkie sort of aspect. Right? So from like literally across the country. So that is a beautiful thing, but it has. Terrifying. I mean, I think that this Review! is very valuable from alternative addiction rock reflection, because it really highlights. They aren't saying don't buy this. They're saying this is very dangerous because I had this crazy circumstance. And if you choose to move forward with this, make sure you follow all of the directions to a T and you go to non-Amazon sites for guidance, which I thought was a very like great point. They aren't saying like, don't do

[00:43:51] Chelsey Donn: it. They're just saying this was what you're doing. Yeah. And no like that, it's recording all the time and you have access to those recordings, which I didn't know.

[00:44:01] Trey Gerrald: This is very alarming. It's really, it

[00:44:03] Chelsey Donn: reminds me of that movie. Well, yeah, but, but there was like, there's another movie with Adam Devine called like Jinxy or Dixie or something like that. I, me and like five other people probably saw it in the theater, but it's about essentially an Amazon echo or like that kind of device, like taking over your life.

[00:44:26] Chelsey Donn: Right. And it's scary. It's like all of a sudden the robot is like, I'm the captain now I was getting like those vibes.

[00:44:34] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. That's a very common opinion and concern. It's like that movie. It's like her, that movie, her where he falls in love with.

[00:44:43] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, it takes it to another degree. I got to say, like, I found this Review!

[00:44:47] Chelsey Donn: when I was at your house. Cause I saw these little Amazon things all over your house. And so I thought maybe I'll get one because everybody likes to automate their life. And when I read this Review!, that was it. I was like, you know what? I don't need it. I got enough devices listening to me. I can't possibly imagine.

[00:45:08] Chelsey Donn: And

[00:45:08] Trey Gerrald: that bathroom, that guest bathroom. Yes. There's the little dot which is in the, I have never even opened

[00:45:13] Chelsey Donn: up. Thank goodness for that, because yeah, this is

[00:45:16] Trey Gerrald: crazy. Yeah. You know, to me, I'm sort of like, whatever, but I do recognize, like, it has always listening probably beyond any understanding that I know.

[00:45:26] Trey Gerrald: Uh, I don't care. You. I don't know. I don't care. I just don't personally care. I would love for Alexa to edit our podcast if you're listening, but to me, no, I recognize that it is concerning and it's a little bizarre. And also this whole like, agreement of consent, like, I don't know. It could text everyone, I guess.

[00:45:46] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. I don't know how that works. Yeah, I appreciate the circumstance that alternative addiction, rock affliction experienced. And I do think that this happened, I mean, I don't, I don't call into question that I did or didn't. Yeah.

[00:45:59] Chelsey Donn: I mean, I just think alternative addiction rock affliction has really hit to the core of the fear of people.

[00:46:07] Chelsey Donn: Are on the fence as to whether or not they want to buy this product. I mean, just a quick fact, 1,509 people found this review helpful. So I think that that says something.

[00:46:18] Trey Gerrald: It does come up often when we have guests over, like the conversation of Alexa will come up often. Yes. A lot of people are like no way.

[00:46:26] Trey Gerrald: I mean, it is interesting how often I do have that conversation. Yeah. Not so much

[00:46:31] Chelsey Donn: that like I have. And like you said, like with the friend and the government, it's not like I have anything to hide, you know, that would be, I mean, I, of course we all do things like sing divine gravity at the top of our lungs, by ourselves, or talk to the dogs and funny voices and things like that, that like, I wouldn't necessarily want that broadcasted everywhere unless I'm doing it on the podcast.

[00:46:52] Chelsey Donn: But like, I still think it's weird that it divided. Could possibly take his action. Take action. Exactly. Take action in a non-directed way. Like it's, you know, I have an apple watch and you know, sometimes like the apple watch will just start recording when I'm speaking. And that like infuriates me and weirds me out.

[00:47:16] Chelsey Donn: Uh, no, like enough, like this is something

[00:47:20] Trey Gerrald: else, but to me I'm also like, well, I have an apple watch. So what's the difference between Siri and Alexa? I mean, there's just probably, no, I mean, that's why we have a conversation and then it shows up as an ad on Instagram. I didn't really think this was humorous.

[00:47:35] Trey Gerrald: I think it was scary. It was frightening. I think it didn't need to be humorous. And honestly, the impact for me is like, it doesn't really matter. I already own them, but. I recognize this. I do think that it's impactful. The specific circumstance that occurred is very important. I would

[00:47:52] Trey Gerrald: say,

[00:47:52] Chelsey Donn: wow. Alternative addiction, rock affliction really gave me a lot to think about.

[00:47:57] Trey Gerrald: I also loved that they sign off. Sincerely sincerely

[00:48:00] Chelsey Donn: and embarrassed, frustrated, and yeah, I like them. Okay. So I, I, wasn't really able to point this out entirely sort of similar to shark and ocean alternative addiction, rock affliction used a lot. PPL, wherever possible. They did like IDK instead of, I don't know, you know, that kind of stock yeah.

[00:48:25] Chelsey Donn: Shorthand. There was a lot of, there was a lot of shorthand, a lot of run-on sentences, that kind of thing. Yeah. But that being said, unlike the last Review! never got in the way of the message, that, that alternative addiction rock fluxion. I

[00:48:42] Trey Gerrald: think I could crown,

[00:48:44] Chelsey Donn: I think I'm ready to crown alternative addiction.

[00:48:47] Chelsey Donn: Rock reflection

[00:48:53] VOICEOVER: are tabulating.

[00:48:55] Chelsey Donn: Yes.

[00:49:00] Chelsey Donn: school. Okay. I'm holding up four crowns. Trey is holding up three crowns. Trey, let us know. Why are you giving alternative addiction? Rock affliction.

[00:49:10] Trey Gerrald: I was going to do for, until you broke down all of the misspellings and the lack of attention to the formality, because I really appreciated the sincerely. And I, I do think the impact is strong, but it is middle of the road because it isn't a deciding factor for me personally, but I have purchased these devices. No. The risk. I didn't specifically know this circumstance was happening in a bowl. Um, but, um, alternative addiction, rock of flection, middle of the road to me.

[00:49:39] Trey Gerrald: That's why, what about you? Why did you do for I

[00:49:42] Chelsey Donn: did four because not only did alternative addiction, rock affliction have a personal impact on me buying this item. I did not full stop, but 1,509 other people. Found it helpful and decided to say so. So I thought that many people read this Review! and had that kind of impact enough of an impact to at very least click that button.

[00:50:07] Chelsey Donn: Then we have to listen. We have to pause and listen to alternative addiction, rock affliction. And I think they're pretty much a queen. I took the crown off for the little bit of spelling, so that's why I took the One, crap.

[00:50:21] Trey Gerrald: All right. Great. Review! addiction,

[00:50:23] Chelsey Donn: Rocca flection luckily showed

[00:50:25] Trey Gerrald: up both of our reviews today.

[00:50:27] Trey Gerrald: Mine was inspired by a friend and yours was inspired by an amazing human being,

[00:50:33] Chelsey Donn: such a good friend of mine.

[00:50:35] My Royal Highness

[00:50:35] Trey Gerrald: Speaking of amazing, inspiring

[00:50:37] Chelsey Donn: thing we have rates haven't weighed the most Regal portion of our show. Who are you? Trey inducting for?

[00:50:49] Trey Gerrald: Okay. So today I'm going to induct three letters. Okay. C P R

[00:50:57] VOICEOVER: O.

[00:50:59] Trey Gerrald: What'd you think I was going to say CVS? Wow. I'm inducting CPR because the story came out about this 81 year old and England who had a heart attack in the middle of James Bond, no time to die movie. And people in the theater knew CPR. They were able to keep him alive while the paramedics came and the 81 year old lived. And that story. Just as so incredible to me, I actually do not have a CPR and I would like to learn it. And I just think that that is a brilliant example of how we all are on this planet together. And like, you know, crazy things can happen. And it's a lifesaver. CPR is a life saving technique and I think we all should have. Guard ourselves like, you know, prepare. So I am inducting CPR. You are truly a queen. I am going to commit to learning so bad and making that declaration on the podcast. Um, all right, Chelsey, who are you in ducting

[00:52:04] Chelsey Donn: this week?

[00:52:05] Chelsey Donn: I'm going to do it. I'm going to induct Trader Joe's. As My Royal Highness. So my list, I know it's on all of our lists. Of course it is because trader Joe's, it just comes in. So clutch so often, especially around holiday gifting times. They really bring it. They have wrapped boxes of chocolates. They have things that are just ready to go.

[00:52:30] Chelsey Donn: If you're going to a party, if you're going somewhere and you think, oh, I should bring a little something. You can always get a reasonably priced. Gift item a trader Joe's also like in general, if I'm having a bad day and then they go to trader Joe's it's I don't know if it's because I'm like creeping closer and closer to middle age, but like, it could make my whole day a shopping trip, a trip it's like it's an event. And also, I don't know if it's like this everywhere, but certainly in California, the trader Joe's employees, they're just so happy and up. And I I've heard that they're treated pretty well. So I think that that's fantastic and I've loved them for years. Let's do it.

[00:53:13] Chelsey Donn: Let's make it official here today. Trader Joe's. You are my slash our Royal Highness. Woo.

[00:53:24] Trey Gerrald: Concur? Yes. All right. Well, we did it. My queen that has another round on the argue a RQ Ferris wheel.

[00:53:32] Chelsey Donn: Thank you guys so much for joining us today. If you liked what you heard, tell a friend, share the link, talk about it over your holiday dinner.

[00:53:43] Trey Gerrald: And please, if you didn't like what you heard, go ahead and tell and share an enemy. We would love for you to join our mailing list so that you can stay up to date with the goings on, in the queendom visit. Review That Review dot com to join. Or you can click the link in our show notes.

[00:53:59] Trey Gerrald: And don't forget, we have this raffle going right now where you can win a psychic reading from Chelsey's dog, Goldie Donn. The best for on Tik TOK. It's an account. You should go follow it. It's at the psychic dog and

[00:54:12] Chelsey Donn: don't forget you guys. We want to hear from you. Please hit up our voicemail. Let us know all of your complaints.

[00:54:18] Chelsey Donn: Read a review, nominate her Royal Highness. Call us at one eight five zero Review! zero. You can also follow us on all of the socials at the Review Queen. I'm @ChelseyBD.

[00:54:31] Trey Gerrald: And I am @TreyGerrald now, as we referenced earlier in the episode, we really would love you to join our exclusive community called the Royal court, which is our page on Patreon.

[00:54:43] Trey Gerrald: We have exclusive content. We have a bunch of bonus content. We have deeper dives in the conversations. We have our after show bonus secret podcast that you only get access to when you are a member of our Patrion Royal court. So please check it out. We would love for you to join. That is at Review That Review.

[00:55:04] Trey Gerrald: But most importantly,

[00:55:06] Chelsey Donn: ignore the haters because you're a queen.

[00:55:10] Trey Gerrald: Gender non-specific Queens alternative addiction, rock affliction

[00:55:15] Chelsey Donn: by shark and ocean!

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.

**Please pardon any spelling errors.