TRANSCRIPT of Episode 28: "Macy's Santaland - 1 & 5 Stars"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 28: "Macy's Santaland - 1 & 5 Stars"


*Please pardon any spelling errors.

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:31] Chelsey Donn: Hello!

[00:00:32] Trey Gerrald: Oh my gosh. Hi. Hello listeners. Welcome to Review That Review. We are the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing

[00:00:39] Chelsey Donn: Reviews. We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:52] Trey Gerrald: That voice is Chelsey Donn,

[00:00:53] Chelsey Donn: and that voice is Trey Gerrald.

[00:00:56] Trey Gerrald: And our voices together, are,

[00:00:58] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens.

[00:01:02] Trey Gerrald: And if you want to support the show while getting bonus and exclusive content, including a members only After-Show podcast, visit our patreon page, at Chelsey girl. I've missed you. We had a proper week off how's your week been?

[00:01:19] Chelsey Donn: I know, it's crazy. I mean, it really does feel like I haven't seen you in eons. My week was a little dulled without you. I'm going to be honest.

[00:01:27] Trey Gerrald: Are you calling me a flamer?

[00:01:30] Chelsey Donn: I ...not intentionally. You could adapt as you will, but no, no. Um, it was a good week. I went to an art show in person for Ashley Longshore, who is my mother's favorite artist.

[00:01:44] Trey Gerrald: Okay.

[00:01:44] Chelsey Donn: So she insisted that I go, but that being said, it was amazing. Her art is incredible. She's amazing. I had a good time. I just am happy whenever I do anything that resembles like pre 2020 life, you know.

[00:01:59] Trey Gerrald: Of course.

[00:02:00] Chelsey Donn: How about you? How was your week? Where were you, Trey?

[00:02:03] Trey Gerrald: I had a good week. We took a week off because I went to visit my nephews and sister and former Royal Highness inductee, brother-in-law in Charlotte, North Carolina. We had a lovely trip and it was really. And here we are. We are back in the full swing of things with a very fun episode. I can't wait to jump in.

[00:02:26] Chelsey Donn: I know I'm so like delighted if you're on Patreon right now, you might have a little bit of a sneak peek. My screen game has been upped significantly. I don't know if you guys remember when I told you about the issue with the skateboard girl and how she made it very unrealistic. I returned that green screen. I bought a new one. That is, it was a little bit more and I was hesitant to buy it the first time as me. Now, sometimes you get what you pay for, and this one is so much better, which I'm very happy about, but mostly I think Trey is thrilled.

[00:03:03] Trey Gerrald: It looks gorgeous.

[00:03:05] Chelsey Donn: Thank you. Thank you so much.

[00:03:07] Trey Gerrald: Screw skateboard girl, get her out of.

[00:03:09] Chelsey Donn: Yes, totally.

[00:03:10] Trey Gerrald: Was there anyone interesting on the cover of this box?

[00:03:12] Chelsey Donn: They weren't going as much with a gimmick as the other one, which I, in this case, I actually liked, they had a video of somebody truly unboxing the item. And then I also went to the reviews, you know, as I do. And I saw in the comment section. A customer had also posted a video. So between those two things, I was pretty confident I was going to be okay. I'm not going to lie. There were some negative reviews. So there was a part of me that was a little worried, but thank God all has worked out.

[00:03:45] Lodge A Complaint

[00:03:45] Chelsey Donn: Ah, you know, and with all that gratitude for companies that are truthful and honest, Do you have a complaint that you want to Lodge?

[00:03:56] Trey Gerrald: You know, I think that I really would love to...

[00:03:58] VOICEOVER: Lodge a Complaint

[00:04:00] Trey Gerrald: I am going to lodge a complaint against a trend that has been growing specially in the world of social media. I am so sick of these arbitrary made up social influencer national holidays. Hashtag national dog day, which is different than national pet day, which is different from national cat day. Okay. I just want you to see, I have two sticky notes here. I've done some research. This is just a list. I'm not talking about like actual national holidays-

[00:04:36] Chelsey Donn: right? Of course. You're talking about world donut day.

[00:04:39] Trey Gerrald: Okay. Let me tell you, I just, this is just a few I've written down. It's a lengthy list. Please hold your applause to the end.

[00:04:45] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:04:45] Trey Gerrald: Pie Day. Which is um not-

[00:04:48] Chelsey Donn: well that's 3/14,

[00:04:49] Trey Gerrald: no, not March 14th, but you think it would be, this is December 1st, which is P I E day. We also have Mutt Day. We have-

[00:05:00] Chelsey Donn: mud?

[00:05:00] Trey Gerrald: Mutt! Like-

[00:05:02] Chelsey Donn: mud?

[00:05:03] Trey Gerrald: Mutt, like a mixed breed dog. A mutt.

[00:05:06] Chelsey Donn: OH MUTT! Oh wow. Okay.

[00:05:09] Trey Gerrald: Faux fur day, bartender day, brownie day, pretend to be a time traveler day, app day. Today, december 15th, unless you're listening late is cupcake day.

[00:05:23] Trey Gerrald: We also have a date nut bread day coffee cake day, girl, me too day, barbershop day, yellow bat day, a raising day, a bugs bunny day Y okay. Then I just to complete my complaint. Chelsey, do you know what national holidays are observed on your day of birth? Which is June 22nd.

[00:05:45] Chelsey Donn: Are they bad?

[00:05:46] Trey Gerrald: Kissing Day.

[00:05:47] Chelsey Donn: Oh, I like that.

[00:05:48] Trey Gerrald: Don't know why that's not Valentine's day. HVAC tech day,

[00:05:53] Chelsey Donn: HVAC tech day?!

[00:05:55] Trey Gerrald: Same as you Baby,. And then onions also onion ring day,

[00:06:01] Chelsey Donn: which I don't like onion rings.

[00:06:02] Trey Gerrald: You want to hear what nationally holiday celebration? days, on my day of birth, which is March 14th, PI day, PI. That makes sense. Sure. Learn about butterflies day. And potato chip day. Anyway, I hate these. I hate them. I hate when they pop, it seems like every other day is dog day. Every it's like, why? Why, why?

[00:06:26] Chelsey Donn: Marketing!

[00:06:27] Trey Gerrald: It's just, it makes me so angry. I don't care. I don't care that it's celebrate pumpkin butterfly cupcake day. Get out of town. I don't care. I hate it. It's so obnoxious. Just be creative. When you post things online, you don't need an excuse. And that's my complaint.

[00:06:44] Chelsey Donn: Complaint lodged added to the ledger. Completely agree. It's gotten out of hand. It started with the hashtags and Instagram, I think really, really up the national whatevers day, but you're right.

[00:06:58] Trey Gerrald: Especially because no one knows what it is until you see that someone else has posted. And then you're like, "Oh!"

[00:07:03] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. And then I feel bad. Like, oh, I didn't post a picture of my dog on national dog day or national pet day or national. Animal. I don't know. It's just too many things. National puppy day.

[00:07:14] Trey Gerrald: Exactly.

[00:07:15] Chelsey Donn: Whatever.

[00:07:16] Trey Gerrald: Alright, that's my complaint. Chelsey. What about you about your complaint? That happens quite a bit.

[00:07:22] Chelsey Donn: I want to complain about junk mail. Have we done this before? I don't know, but I think it's time if we haven't then, I mean, we're, we're sleeping at the wheel. Like what is with the junk mail? I feel like every day it gets worse. You know how they say you spend like. However much percentage of your life asleep. Like it's like you spend a third of your life asleep. I think there's a very heavy portion of that chart. That is me just deleting emails. I think I've unsubscribed from best buy, like six times. And yet it keeps happening.

[00:07:58] Trey Gerrald: It's like promotion@bestbuydotcom,, email twice a week at it's like 700 accounts.

[00:08:06] Chelsey Donn: UnBelievable. I spend so much of my time, like any time that I have free from doing other things, you will find me erasing junk mail because I also. I'm, you know, I'm kind of OCD. So I really do not like my email inbox to be overloaded. It's like, seriously bothers me. Like if I have 20 emails that are kind of unread, they're 20 emails that are unread for a reason, because I need to get back to them. Otherwise get out of there cause I need to stay focused. Oh, just the amount of time. What are we going to do about it? Try it. How do we fix.

[00:08:48] Trey Gerrald: I hadn't really thought about that. It is something that I will mindlessly do throughout the day. I was like, cause I like to keep my email clean. I wasn't even conscious that I do that. I'm also someone that cannot have a bubble notification. Like a text. I can't have the red circle. No, no, no. I can't know that like, something has been unintended to, and it's something that I've recently last couple of months have been letting go of is I have to open it so that the little like red bubble appears like that, that it has been opened and it goes away for years, I would have to open it so that it would change from like white to gray, meaning that it has been opened. And then I would delete it, which I don't know what that says about me.

[00:09:32] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Cause I emails. I don't even open the email. I just like in the iPhone, I just do a slide.

[00:09:40] Trey Gerrald: Yes. But I used to be so neurotic that I had to open it. I wouldn't even look at it. I just needed the color to change. Showing that it had been opened before I would delete it.

[00:09:53] Chelsey Donn: That's a commitment. Yeah. So that's even more time then try. I mean, imagine if we added up all that time, I think both of us would be very upset.

[00:10:02] Trey Gerrald: You know, it makes me think about waiting in long lines, which I think,

[00:10:07] Chelsey Donn: oh might be appropriate!

[00:10:08] Trey Gerrald: it makes me think about something that has, uh, been on my mind. And I think that it's time Chelsey for you and I to go, Head-To-Head!

[00:10:19] Chelsey Donn: Let's do it. I got my boxing gloves on when I was a kid, my S my dad bought boxing gloves for me and my sister, so that we could duke it out. Actually, if we had a fight, which some parents might say it was bad parenting, but I think it was a great idea.

[00:10:33] Trey Gerrald: I appreciate your father's commitment to non gender stereotypes. I applaud that it's very progressive for that. The eighties.