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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 29: "CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!"



Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 29: "CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!"

Transcription

*Please pardon any errors

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hello? Hi Santa.

[00:00:33] Trey Gerrald: I just put on a naughty hat, I made it a reveal as I like to do. I have headphones and I'm trying to wear the snotty hat. Um, anyway. Welcome to Review That Review the podcast dedicated to reviewing.

[00:00:49] Chelsey Donn: Reviews! Yay. We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:01:00] Trey Gerrald: That's Chelsey Donn,

[00:01:02] Chelsey Donn: and that's @TreyGerrald.

[00:01:03] Trey Gerrald: And together we are

[00:01:05] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens.

[00:01:09] Trey Gerrald: And if you want to support the show while getting bonus and exclusive content, including a members only after show podcast, visit our Patreon Page at patreon.com/ReviewThatReview. Oh, Chelsey girl. I don't know if this naughty hat tipped you off, but Merrrrrry Christmas!

[00:01:31] VOICEOVER: I want a hippopotamous for Christmas! Only a hippopotomus will do!

[00:01:40] Trey Gerrald: Have you ever heard that song?

[00:01:41] Chelsey Donn: I haven't... was that Liza?!

[00:01:43] Trey Gerrald: I don't know who it was. some Child singer,

[00:01:46] Chelsey Donn: first of all, love it. Second of all. No, never heard that song before they wanted to hippopotamus.

[00:01:54] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. It's just like a, some random, like, I guess Christmas song from back when like men went to war and cleans and the streams, I don't know.

[00:02:04] Chelsey Donn: Oh Yes. Cleaning in the streams was a big deal back in day.

[00:02:08] Trey Gerrald: Um, oh my gosh, 'Merry Ho Ho' as my mom says it is our Christmas episode!

[00:02:14] Chelsey Donn: It's true! Merry Christmas queens!

[00:02:17] Trey Gerrald: Merry Christmas to all who celebrate girl. How was your week?

[00:02:21] Chelsey Donn: My week was great. I had an audition today that I had not very much time to prepare, so that's always, you know, a rush, but it went, it went well. And I had a good time and they got to work with my coach Taylor, who I love and adore. So great, great day. So far. How about you trey?

[00:02:40] Trey Gerrald: That's nice. You know, I've been having a great week. We're still working on training hunter and you know, our dog Winnie knows how to play dead, if we say bang. Right. So, um, we're still working on down with hunter, but it's coming along. We just have to remember. Work on him. Yeah. But, um, things are good. I'm glad that it's Christmas time, you know, people tend to be a little cheerier.

[00:03:05] Chelsey Donn: It is true. I think it's the music. Just hearing that hippopotamus song already made me feel better, you know?

[00:03:11] VOICEOVER: I want a hippopotamous for Christmas!

[00:03:15] Trey Gerrald: Well, aside from all this Christmas joy, should we get into some Christmas, non joy Chelsey? Would you like to

[00:03:23] Lodge A Complaint!

[00:03:23] VOICEOVER:

[00:03:23] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint?

[00:03:25] Chelsey Donn: I wa as a Christmas gift to myself, I would love to Lodge A Complaint if that's okay. I really hate it when I'm eating and I have to sneeze. Oh, you know, like just very inconvenient timing. What, like, what do I, what am I supposed to do with that? Like if I sneeze, it's just going to be terrible. And

[00:03:47] Trey Gerrald: it does like kickoff that like rubbing your head and patting your stomach thing.

[00:03:50] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Well also there's food in the mouth, not to be gross. You know what I mean? Like there's just like a lot to negotiate. Correct. And, um,

[00:03:59] Trey Gerrald: did this happen to you recently?

[00:04:00] Chelsey Donn: It did. It did. It happened to me right before we were recording and I was like, I guess I could lodge that as complaint. I was, yeah. I was eating a salad chewing on that lettuce and then I had to sneeze and like, listen, I, I did it. I nailed the landing. I was able to swallow and then sneeze, but it was stressful. Like I was very, very stressed out in the moment. There's certain things like, um, sneezing while driving also very bad. Apparently when you sneeze, you close your eyes. Oh, you're you're driving like with your eyes closed for a second, which is also terrifying.

[00:04:34] Chelsey Donn: So the timing of that, it's just like, I love a good sneeze. I, I hate when sneezes get cut off early, you know, like when you're like, Ooh, I just want that. So, so thank you, sneezes. Cause I think it serves a purpose, getting the dust out or whatever is this gross? I don't know, but like everybody's sneezes is right.

[00:04:55] Chelsey Donn: We got to write that book, but I, I like a good sneeze, but the timing of this knees or, or the need that, you know, we have so many things that could interfere with the completion of the sneeze, you know, or when somebody says, God bless you before you've sneezed. It's like bad Juju. Then all of a sudden this news doesn't come out.

[00:05:14] Chelsey Donn: So a lot of thoughts around sneezing.

[00:05:17] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. I hear you. That is a, that's a great complaint. I take Zyrtec every day. I do my sneezing

[00:05:24] Chelsey Donn: complicated. Anyway, Trey, what is your complaint?

[00:05:28] Trey Gerrald: Tell us, so my complaint I thought of, and then as I was like writing it down, I was like, oh, maybe this is gross.

[00:05:36] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Well we have gross complaints that I

[00:05:38] Trey Gerrald: both of us, but here's the question.

[00:05:40] Trey Gerrald: How often do you wear your denim jeans before washing them?

[00:05:46] Chelsey Donn: I am a little bit OCD, so I wash them pretty often. I'll be honest. Well,

[00:05:51] Trey Gerrald: you wear them twice, twice, twice. Yeah. Okay. So here's my, here's my complaint. I will wear my jeans many times before washing them and I leave my wallet in my jeans. And so when I am putting the jeans back on, there is no way to put the jeans back on without the pocket that has my little wallet in it, getting flipped around.

[00:06:19] Trey Gerrald: I can't put it in without it flipping it. Inside out basically. Right? So then I get my jeans on and then I have to do this weird contortion dance where I'm like putting my hand into my pocket to try to like push forward towards the flop. And it's one of those things that I don't even like acknowledge is happening, but I thought about it today because it is so annoying.

[00:06:42] Trey Gerrald: I don't know why the pocket goes the wrong way.

[00:06:46] Chelsey Donn: Do you think it's wallet specific or you think anything in there would, would flip out?

[00:06:50] Trey Gerrald: Well, like when I have gone to the gym, it happens all the time at the gym as well. Or if I leave like my phone or my keys in the pocket, those will flip inside out too.

[00:07:00] Trey Gerrald: It's not flipping out. It's like, you know, the fabric of the pocket material. It's just two sheets of fabric inside behind the Jean denim. So you're pulling it up and instead of laying flat, as it is designed, it will go like towards your ass. So then your leg goes in. Instead of the pocket going towards the fly, the pocket is now going towards your ass.

[00:07:26] Trey Gerrald: Oh, I see what you're saying. So then I have to stick my hand into my pocket. It's a flip it to position it from going from my butt towards my fly. Wow. And then, you know, it's like, I am wearing skinnier jeans, so that's really a big

[00:07:41] Chelsey Donn: hassle. Three days later, your pants are on thank God

[00:07:44] Trey Gerrald: three days later and I'm late and I still have to get my ice coffee and this traffic,

[00:07:49] Chelsey Donn: it is, it's just anything like that, that you're just like, this feels like it's too many steps, even though in that case, it's like, I guess you could store your wallet elsewhere.

[00:08:00] Trey Gerrald: There are ways to get around it, but it is something I would like to put on the ledger of complaints, because I'm, I'm curious to hear if anyone else has encountered this. Cause it's something I literally don't think of. I get it. It's like when you mentioned like how many times in a day we are deleting junk mail.

[00:08:18] Trey Gerrald: So like I never registered that until you mentioned that, and this is another thing where it's like, just this little annoyance, it's usually at the beginning of the day when I'm getting dressed. And that just said, so that's my complaint. And I'm so grateful to get all of this negative energy out because we have been nice and good, and it is time to channel the positive Saint Nicholas, baby Jesus, Bethlehem energy, a switch up into some online review.

[00:08:48] Trey Gerrald: So as you all know, Chelsey and I each bring in a review from the internet that we feel needs to be inspected.

[00:08:54] Chelsey Donn: We read the review, break it down and rate the impact of the review on a scale from one to five crowns, it's a very Regal process that we call

[00:09:03] VOICEOVER: Assess That kvetch.

[00:09:05] Trey Gerrald: And in honor of this holiday called Christmas, Chelsey. And I have found reviews that center around the holiday of Christmas and Chelsey, my friend, your first, today,

[00:09:18] Moscow Ballet, The Nutcracker, West Cast Review

[00:09:18] Trey Gerrald: take it away. I hope you have some frankincense and myrrh for your journey.

[00:09:25] Chelsey Donn: Review That Review.

[00:09:28] Trey Gerrald: I forgot to tell you that I made a cocktail. I never drink, but I have absolute Citroen in here with an sparkling energy drink. And I think I'm getting drunk.

[00:09:38] Chelsey Donn: Yay. Also, your straw is very festive. It's like candy cane. Yeah. Very cute. Try. All right. You guys today? My Review! is from TripAdvisor. It is a one dot Review! written by N Beth S. Okay. We got that from Fort worth, Texas. The Review is of the Moscow ballet, the Nutcracker west cast, and just like quick little anecdote. Cause I know I'm Jewish and you're like, oh, well what does that Jew know about Christmas? Anyway, I was obsessed with the Nutcracker when I was a kid, I collected nutcrackers. I went to the ballet every year with my mom. Oh my gosh. And every single year on Hanukkah, one of my eight presents would be tickets to the Nutcracker.

[00:10:37] Chelsey Donn: So I love the Nutcracker. Was it usually well with my parents? What I love that they did was we'd have eight gifts and we could pick. Any of them. So each day we would just like pick which one we wanted. So it was, I usually knew the one in the envelope was probably the Nutcracker tickets, but sometimes they would be creative about it and, you know, like get me a cute little Nutcracker too or something with it.

[00:11:05] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. So anyway, we're good. I'm excited to hear what NBethS has to say.

[00:11:10] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, let's see what NBethS and her one dot Review! think of the Moscow ballet's production of the Nutcracker.

[00:11:19] Chelsey Donn: The Moscow ballet, the best, right? NOT! First off, the music was CANNED! NO live orchestra. One of the most beautiful pieces of music in history, and we get to listen to a CD.

[00:11:41] Chelsey Donn: Then the usher informed us they were low on program. And the three of us would have to share one, not really a problem because the program was pretty much useless, no list of musical movements or scenes, mainly advertising their merchandise. The 13 principal dancers were very good, not excellent as I would expect a Russian ballet troupe to be, but good.

[00:12:10] Chelsey Donn: The rest of the cast was sad, often unprepared out of sync, just making the moves and often not. Well, the Nutcracker was a STUFFED TOY!!!!! Seriously draw. So Meyer did a poor job of getting hidden characters on and off stage. And the entire production was full of local children, probably from area dance studios.

[00:12:43] Chelsey Donn: It was a fiasco. If I wanted to see amateur dancers, I'd go to a local dance recital. They were poorly rehearsed and made the production seem cheap. And second rate, which it really was. I paid over a hundred dollars per ticket for three of us after Ticketmaster's ridiculous fees. And we would've been overpaying if all three of us had gone for a hundred dollars total.

[00:13:11] Chelsey Donn: This was my first Nutcracker ballet. And I had been looking forward to it. So very much the Moscow ballet, how could I go wrong? Well, it did. And it ended up being a complete disappointment. It's no wonder half of the seats downstairs were empty. Others must have heard about this trip to performances in advance. Don't waste your time or money.

[00:13:41] VOICEOVER: Oh, my God. It's a Karen.

[00:13:44] Trey Gerrald: Wow. Yeah. I, when I really got thrown off there when like three fourths of the way through NBethS mentions that this was the first time they'd ever seen the Nutcracker ballet.

[00:13:55] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. But I think they, they must, I don't know. I'll have a record or something. They seem to know the music.

[00:14:01] Trey Gerrald: Tchaikovsky.

[00:14:02] Trey Gerrald: Well, Well, okay. Even when you go to, okay. I actually, I cannot speak to, like, I know that when you go to the met opera yeah. The ensemble are like hired actors, basically. They're not like opera people. Sure. So like, when you go and see the Nutcracker ballet, Like the chances that you're going to be seeing local children in the ensemble are like very high.

[00:14:30] Trey Gerrald: Sure. What's it like that when you saw like the Philly ballet?

[00:14:34] Chelsey Donn: I think so, but I think that's because Philadelphia has like a whole ballet

[00:14:39] Trey Gerrald: company, correct? Correct. Right. Cause I don't know about ABT or, you know, I'm sure like the company members are in the back

[00:14:46] Chelsey Donn: sort of similar to an ABT, but like the ABT of Philadelphia, there were, there were kids that were a part of the company,

[00:14:53] Trey Gerrald: but like, okay. I don't know anything about the Moscow ballet, but I do know that like many of the greatest ballet dancers were like Russian. Where are they seeing this performance? Is it in. In

[00:15:05] Chelsey Donn: Texas. So it seems like it's a tour of the theater, ballet, Moscow. So

[00:15:10] Trey Gerrald: are you expecting this tour from Moscow to have 90 performers?

[00:15:16] Chelsey Donn: You mean touring

[00:15:17] Trey Gerrald: with them, but right. Like you think like the guy that's playing, like the dancing frog, like in the third act as a gift is going to be someone from Russia as well. Like, I, that seems a little odd to me, but I get that NBethS has never seen this and to their credit, I would be a little perturbed if I noticed that like some of the ensemble people were like, not in sync or like

[00:15:43] Chelsey Donn: performing.

[00:15:44] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. There was enough that it was distracting. I can see, I mean, I think the hard part is that they paid a hundred dollars a ticket.

[00:15:53] Trey Gerrald: I want to talk about that because it's expensive, especially because these are international performers, someone has to be paying for their visas and their housing and accommodations. Then there's all the sets. Then there's all like the cost to put on this ballet.

[00:16:11] Chelsey Donn: What do you think of the Nutcracker being a stuffed toy?

[00:16:14] Trey Gerrald: Okay. I wrote that down too. That's very odd to me. Why was it not a wooden -

[00:16:18] Chelsey Donn: I know!

[00:16:18] Trey Gerrald: nutcracker?

[00:16:19] Chelsey Donn: I thought that, or like an actor playing the Nutcracker.

[00:16:23] Trey Gerrald: Well, doesn't he come? Doesn't the Nutcracker come to life?

[00:16:25] Chelsey Donn: Yeah,

[00:16:26] Trey Gerrald: At some point

[00:16:26] Chelsey Donn: I think so. Like, I mean, I don't remember guys. I haven't seen it since I was a kid, but -

[00:16:30] Trey Gerrald: Isn't there like a magic person who like turns the toys -

[00:16:33] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, like winds them up or something.

[00:16:34] Trey Gerrald: into real things? Right.

[00:16:35] Chelsey Donn: Yeah!

[00:16:36] Trey Gerrald: So I feel like it usually starts with like a prop.

[00:16:39] Chelsey Donn: Right. And ends with a person.

[00:16:42] Trey Gerrald: What, see, was Clara a Russian or what's Clara like a local seven-year-old?

[00:16:48] Chelsey Donn: I don't know. I think according to this, they're suggesting that it was. It was a local seven-year-old, which does make me wonder if you're right. I mean, that makes sense. If it's a very large cast, maybe they can't fly everybody in and they do need some locals. And that would make me wonder like each city that they go to, they have locals. So like if there aren't, the locals in Texas are not that great, but the locals in California are really great. You know, are you getting a different performance or is it just that they're hiring locals? Like they're hiring people from the US?

[00:17:23] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, I'm very confused by this because I would imagine, does, so I know that NBethS is from Fort worth Texas. So I'm assuming this is, she saw this in Fort worth. I just, I think that if you are a ballet company, Like, if you're a ballet theater, then nutcracker is your bread and butter.

[00:17:43] Trey Gerrald: So it's con it's interesting to me that you would see a touring production of the Nutcracker, because that would have to go into an area that doesn't have their own production. I would imagine. So then are the kids like in a, like, I'm very perplexed by this? Yeah. Then someone has to train the, the ensembleypeople. Like how did

[00:18:05] Chelsey Donn: I don't know, I mean, I guess I, I did appreciate that. They said that the 13 principal dancers were very good. I thought it was funny. I said, they're not excellent as they would expect a Russian ballet troupe to be, but they were still good. I mean, at least they, at least they gave a little bit of credit. Cause from the rest of the Review! you would think that everything was terrible. But yeah, I don't know. I think that it's possible that NBethS has high expectations and that their assessment of the production isn't completely accurate. Like maybe they're, they're sort of a, a glass, half empty kind of person where. You know, 50, 60% of the show is great and you know, 40, whatever 50 is bad, then that's like a total loss for them, which I understand it's it is a lot of money and I get that feeling of being conflicted. But

[00:19:02] Trey Gerrald: I think what's coming up for me here is like, I appreciate that. N Beth S really wanted to see the Nutcracker for the material.

[00:19:11] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. But it does occur to me. if you're going to the Nutcracker ballet, it's not going to be about the music. It's going to be about the dancer. Right. Right. So to me seeing that it's like canned orchestra. Sure. I mean, not the most ideal, but like, you're going to see the Moscow ballet company. So to me I'm sort of like, okay, fine, like disappointing, but sure. Also it sort of. If you are that much of a purist, like, why are you going to the Nutcracker? It's like, it's like going to see like The Lion King on Broadway. It's like the lowest denominator for like the greatest of that art form. Not to say that The Lion King is bad. Not to say that the Nutcracker is bad, but like, you know, it is the piece that exists to welcome everyone into this art form. So to be snobby about it kind of makes me annoyed. I get the price I get that it's expensive. And you felt that it was subpar, but

[00:20:09] Chelsey Donn: like, oh, I think that's an interesting point. I didn't really think about it that way, but I think there is a certain amount of forgiveness that is applied to a holiday show that really, I mean, the CD thing is kind of weird.

[00:20:23] Chelsey Donn: That was like that that's like a note, but like, you know, it is supposed to be holiday cheer and there's a spirit about it that I think, excuses, Maybe some of the amateurness, like if the kids weren't that great, but they were very cute and Christmasy, then I think you can get away with a lot more things in a Christmas show than you can in other productions.

[00:20:50] Trey Gerrald: I do want to talk about these ticketmaster fees.

[00:20:52] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Oh my God. They're ridiculous.

[00:20:54] Trey Gerrald: What I mean, I understand that Ticketmaster has to make their own money as well, but that really is super annoying. How much money just goes to the fees,

[00:21:04] Chelsey Donn: and the fees can be quite pricey.

[00:21:07] Trey Gerrald: Okay. So do we think that this is a valuable Review? To me, I find value. I, I might have a different judgment call then NBethS but it is interesting to me that most of the seats were empty. I think that's such a like shady thing to point out, but no, but facts are facts.

[00:21:26] Chelsey Donn: I know there was a lot of caps abuse. Uh, I'm assuming you could tell in my reading a lot of punctuation abuse happening a little bit more than I find tolerable.

[00:21:39] Trey Gerrald: Interesting.

[00:21:40] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I'm not anti caps. I think it can be fun and it sort of makes things pop. So I'm not against it. But in this case I did feel like it was overused

[00:21:50] Trey Gerrald: Do you think NBethS is like aformer ballet person who wasn't hired at Moscow.

[00:21:55] Chelsey Donn: I don't think so. I think similar to other reviews you had, this is a case of, you know, preference. And am I a hundred percent confident that everybody else who sees the show is this upset about it? No, I'm not. But I do think that N Beth S is being honest and I believe them.

[00:22:16] Trey Gerrald: I agree. Which then, is this common. It was like just going to be a temp, typical experience. I mean, I, I would imagine that to me, I don't know if I'm viewing this wrong, but to me, I just feel like the Nutcracker is so like rudimentary that it's like not for an adult it's to like bring children to the theater, to see an art.

[00:22:38] Chelsey Donn: I hear you there, there are certain elements that they identified for me, like the CD. I mean, not so much that they used a prerecording because yeah, we can't necessarily expect there to be an orchestra on stage, but if the CD or whatever it was was bad enough that it was very obvious that it was a CD I'm my ears are very sensitive. So that's a little bit like, Ugh, I don't know if I'd want to deal with that for however many hours. And also like the stuffed toy. Like, there are things that they're dropping along the way that I feel like, you know, they wouldn't just make up. It might be indicative that the quality of the show isn't that great.

[00:23:17] Trey Gerrald: Same with like the amateurish children ensemble. Like, I think that's sort of difficult to not notice that when people are moving in a choreographed, um, synchronized way.

[00:23:30] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I mean, not that we want to like eliminate the kids, but it almost seems like they would be better off Moscow if they just made the show smaller, like Hmm.

[00:23:41] Chelsey Donn: And like truncated the, the size of the ensemble, just to, to maintain the integrity of the show. Like I wonder if everybody was at the caliber of these 13 principal dancers, if, NBethS would have had this same Review! right. Because they are saying they're good, but not excellent. Maybe they would have given it like a three-star still, I don't think that even if they were good, but excellent. I'm not confident that end Beth S would have given a high Review!.

[00:24:12] Trey Gerrald: I do really like having a program. And I, I really don't like when they're chintzy with that, um,

[00:24:18] Chelsey Donn: chintzy with the programs or chintzy with the info in the program?

[00:24:22] Trey Gerrald: Chintzy with handing them out. That bothers me. It makes me feel like I'm not a priority.

[00:24:26] Chelsey Donn: Do we feel armed?

[00:24:28] Trey Gerrald: I think so. I think I could crown this. What are you thinking on this? Yeah. All right. So Chelsey and I each have our own set of one to five crown cards and in an effort to be fair and not influenced by one another, we will simultaneously reveal our ratings

[00:24:45] VOICEOVER: The Queens are tabulating!

[00:24:48] Trey Gerrald: Are you ready?

[00:24:49] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:24:53] VOICEOVER: Total Score!

[00:24:55] VOICEOVER: Wow, Trey. That's that's surprising to me. Trey's holding up four crowds. I'm holding up three grounds. Sorry. My screen is blurry. So try, let us know why you gave NBethS four crowns.

[00:25:08] Trey Gerrald: I gave NBethS four crowns because while I might not agree with their point of view on some of these things, I do think that this review is very valuable because I imagined it is not publicized anywhere that it is canned music. Yes, I do think that it's important to note that attendance is low. Not that that necessarily means that. I don't really know what N Beth S is experience with ballet and the art form is so the whole assessment about the quality of the dancers is neither here nor there, but I heard the point, the expectations were really high since they were international and they, they weren't that blown away.

[00:25:52] Trey Gerrald: So I know that there was a lots of like spelling and grammar stuff, which I didn't actually see. So to me, the impact here is like, let me research. Is another performance by someone else that has live music. If that is that important to me. So for that reason I gave it four. Cause I think it would make me question purchasing the tickets.

[00:26:14] Trey Gerrald: What about you? Why did you do three?

[00:26:16] Chelsey Donn: I did three for all the same reasons that you just mentioned, but I, I think I took off another crown, definitely for the caps lock abuse and also for the, the good verse. Excellent comment. There, there was something in that assessment of, they were very good, but not excellent.

[00:26:33] Chelsey Donn: That felt a little bit. Let's just give the Moscow ballet, nutcracker west cast a nod without having to punch an insult in there as well. So for that reason, I decided that I needed to give NBethS three crowns.

[00:26:52] Trey Gerrald: I love it. I feel like I'm, my chestnuts are roasting on an open fire.

[00:26:57] Chelsey Donn: Mine too. I mean, if I had them.

[00:26:58] There's A Reply!

[00:26:58] VOICEOVER: There's A Reply!

[00:26:58] Trey Gerrald: OMG there's a reply. Oh my God. Okay. Yeah.

[00:27:04] Chelsey Donn: All right. Now the reply is from, uh, it's kind of written in Russian, but Ballet Mosque vol, and then there's, there's some Russian after that. Um, and. Dear NBethS, I'm sorry to tell you that Moscow ballet, the Nutcracker west cast has nothing to do with real theater, ballet, Moscow, which you can find here.

[00:27:35] Chelsey Donn: And they inserted a link. Our company didn't tour in the USA in 2013 and 2012, the art director of the company Nikolay Bhasin was fired by Moscow cultural department. And since that time, the theater has changed a lot. We do not tour abroad at the moment because we changed the repertoire and perform now, mainly in Moscow.

[00:28:05] Trey Gerrald: Now I'm confused because. So they're stating the Review is for the wrong organization?

[00:28:11] Chelsey Donn: That's what I thought at first. And then my like shade Dar started to go off a little bit for a couple reasons. So they're saying that they didn't tour in the U S in 2013, which is when, um, this Review! was written, but it seems like they did tour. Other times, they also talk about somebody that got fired. And that to me implies little, is he getting fired because he was doing a bad job and misrepresenting the ballet, because it sounds like there's like an emission within the reply.

[00:28:51] Trey Gerrald: That's what I was going to say to you is that it feels like there's two things happening here. They've denied that this was their company. And then they're explaining that their company has had a whole change of things going on. So that's why I was like, wait,

[00:29:08] Chelsey Donn: and then the other thing that made me go, Hmm, was that NBethS in there, Review! mentioned that the program was full of merchandise and they mentioned the pro the like Moscow ballet or whatever it was several times. So just makes me feel like if there was lots of merchandise, it was probably, I would think branded with this information and. I don't know. I don't know that this reply makes me like a hundred percent sure that it was the wrong company. This reply makes me think. We licensed our name to somebody else for purposes of a tour. And then we realized that the caliber didn't meet the caliber of our local Russian ballet. And we pulled back. That's what I think.

[00:29:57] Trey Gerrald: Can you read the two names that are being spoken off? Uh,

[00:30:01] Chelsey Donn: oh yes. So the, the way that it's listed in the Review! now it is a review of the ballet Moscow. So there, there, there might be a world in which Moscow ballet, the Nutcracker west.

[00:30:15] Chelsey Donn: Is sort of a step sibling, like an

[00:30:18] Trey Gerrald: umbrella

[00:30:18] Chelsey Donn: company, correct. Of theater, Bali, mosque out. And because this review is dragging down the average of theater, ballet, Moscow, which I'm sure is phenomenal. I have no doubt about that. they wanted to make it clear to anybody that is reading this. Review! that's thinking about going in Moscow or whatever that this is not, we're not affiliated with this, and this is not at all what you can expect to see if you are coming to our

[00:30:48] Trey Gerrald: theater. I don't know how this makes me feel. It makes me feel more confused. And it just makes me want to say support your local artists just support your local ballet dancers.

[00:30:59] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, I think that's a good point.

[00:31:01] Trey Gerrald: It's interesting. It doesn't make me feel swayed. It makes me feel more. I shouldn't even attempt to see the thing. Right.

[00:31:11] Chelsey Donn: I know. Well, that's, I, I feel like it's, it's just coded in a way that it's like, not us, but also we're us. We're different now, you know? Anyway, I thought that was interesting. I was excited to read the reply because usually the replies are, are very straightforward where it's just like, this was an us, so sorry you had a bad experience, but this has nothing to do with us. Or like, please, you know, email us at this address so that we can make it right. Or whatever it is. But this I've never read a reply like this before. Anyway, that's it.

[00:31:46] Trey Gerrald: Good job. Very fun.

[00:31:48] Chelsey Donn: Thank you. Okay. So let's take a quick break. And when we come back, we can get into RQ T's Review!.

[00:31:56] Trey Gerrald: Woo. Love that. All right. BRB.

[00:32:02] VOICEOVER: Hold your crown. We'll be right back.

[00:32:15] SuperChewer Offer

[00:32:15] Trey Gerrald: Chelsey. And I are so excited to share this exclusive Review Queen offer from super chewer.com. Now from the makers of BarkBox super chewer as a monthly subscription-based service for those dogs that need tougher and more durable toys every month, you and your Papa will receive a box right to your front door.

[00:32:35] Trey Gerrald: That is loaded with two tough toys, two meaty chews, and two full-sized bags of treats that are customizable for allergy and diet preferences. Super chewer is offering listeners of Review That Review one extra month free when you use our link. Super chewer.com/queen. Sign up right now at super chewer.com/queen.

[00:33:23] Meryl-Go-Round

[00:33:23] Trey Gerrald: it's game time. Chelsey let's play One-Star-Zinger is on the Meryl-Go-Round '

[00:33:30] VOICEOVER: I don't feel like an icon.. Most of the days, I feel like I can't. That's with an A!"

[00:33:39] Chelsey Donn: Trey and I have each picked a rotten scathing, pithy One-Star-Zinger and with 30 seconds on the clock, we'll each try to recite our zinger in as many genres as possible.

[00:33:51] Trey Gerrald: Just the queen Meryl, who does it all

[00:33:53] Chelsey Donn: before the clock runs out. Alright Trey. Where is your One-Star-Zinger from today?

[00:33:57] Trey Gerrald: Okay today I have a One-Star-Zinger from amazon.com. This is written by Tracy L. And this is for the children's book, entitled Santa's Husband.

[00:34:13] Chelsey Donn: Oh, kinda like kinda like Hanukkah, mommy and Santa's daddy or whatever.

[00:34:19] Trey Gerrald: Sure. Yes. I imagine this a companion piece. Well, the book is written by Daniel Kibblesmith and it is imagining that Santa Claus is a homosexual and married to a man.

[00:34:33] Trey Gerrald: Oh, okay. And I have not read the book, but the cover of the book, Mr. Claus is a person of color. Okay. So Tracy L'ss, one star, Amazon review's, subject is Santa is married to a woman and their's zinger is Santa Claus. Isn't gay or black. Oh my God. Santa Claus. Isn't real. Santa Claus is a fake character.

[00:35:04] Chelsey Donn: Why can't Santa Claus be gay and black?.

[00:35:06] Trey Gerrald: And so Tracy L Santa Claus, isn't gay or black.

[00:35:09] Chelsey Donn: All right. Sorry, Tracy. Trying to diversify. Geez, Louise. All right. Trey. I think today you're going to be strapped into Blitzin. Why Blitzin? Because Rudolph always gets all the attention. Got to spread it out a little bit. Rudolph is not the only reindeer in Santa's arsenal.

[00:35:31] Chelsey Donn: So you're strapped into blitz in. All right. I'm going to give blitz and a carrot and I am ready. All right, let's do it.

[00:35:40] VOICEOVER: 3 2 1, GO!

[00:35:44] VOICEOVER: Disaster

[00:35:46] VOICEOVER: Santa Claus or black Yankee

[00:35:53] VOICEOVER: Santa Claus. Isn't gay or black.

[00:35:57] VOICEOVER: Melodrama

[00:36:03] VOICEOVER: lifetime

[00:36:09] VOICEOVER: Southern calls. Ain't

[00:36:15] Chelsey Donn: really good.

[00:36:17] Trey Gerrald: Oh, thank you. I must have had a lifetime of ignorance around me in order to really embody that. All right. How many with that? Excellent queen. All right, my queen. What about you? What is your One-Star-Zinger for today? Plus his

[00:36:35] Chelsey Donn: for today? My One-Star-Zinger is for Christmas lights, I guess I'll say the whole title, even though it infuriates me. This is your view from Amazon for. C nine Christmas string lights, outdoor indoor extendable, 50 led 49 feet waterproof green wire string lights, plugin, fairy lights for Christmas tree patio, party decorations, multicolor

[00:37:06] VOICEOVER: Its supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

[00:37:10] Chelsey Donn: I was going to say, should my R sound cutest be like, is this title going to

[00:37:16] Chelsey Donn: infuriate me? Well, they got all their bases covered.

[00:37:20] Chelsey Donn: Exactly. All right. So this, review is written by Patricia. It is obviously a one-star review. The subject is they are not bright at all, and the Review! is returning them. They are so dim. It's ridiculous.

[00:37:38] Trey Gerrald: That's really funny. Alright, so I'm gonna strap you into Donner! Yea next to each other

[00:37:46] Chelsey Donn: and also Chelsey Donn. Hello?

[00:37:49] Trey Gerrald: Oh my gosh. And the Donner party.

[00:37:51] Chelsey Donn: I mean, let's not affiliate my people with those people whom we have no relation in case there was any

[00:37:59] Trey Gerrald: thought. Okay. I'm glad you cleared that up. Okay. Yes. All right. So, oh my God. And you talked about sneezing while eating.

[00:38:06] Trey Gerrald: What does that have to

[00:38:06] Chelsey Donn: was that I didn't

[00:38:07] Trey Gerrald: see each other.

[00:38:10] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Okay.

[00:38:13] Trey Gerrald: Okay. Okay. Good. All right. So you're strapped into Donner and, um, all right, let's go. You ready? Yes. I'm ready.

[00:38:20] VOICEOVER: 3, 2, 1, GO!

[00:38:27] VOICEOVER: Adult film,

[00:38:28] VOICEOVER: opera

[00:38:29] VOICEOVER: diva. We're hurting them. They're so Tim let's retake musical theater, but turn

[00:38:36] VOICEOVER: them

[00:38:39] VOICEOVER: game, show

[00:38:45] VOICEOVER: magic show.

[00:38:47] VOICEOVER: We're tearing them. They're so dead. It's ridiculous. Disney.

[00:38:56] Trey Gerrald: I love that. Your Disney's always like a chipmunk

[00:38:59] Chelsey Donn: yeah. It's it's it's Mickey. Chipmunk. Yeah.

[00:39:03] Trey Gerrald: Okay. You got six. Very good Queen.

[00:39:09] Chelsey Donn: Thank you. That was fun.

[00:39:13] Christmas Tree Shops Review

[00:39:13] VOICEOVER: Review That Review.

[00:39:17] Chelsey Donn: All right. We're back from that rousing game break. And it's your turn Trey.

[00:39:24] Trey Gerrald: All right. So today I have a one star review from Yelp also written by a Tracy. Whoa. I didn't realize that. Oh, wait. It's also Tracy L okay. That's weird.

[00:39:38] Chelsey Donn: Was your zinger also TracyL?

[00:39:39] Trey Gerrald: Yes! Very weird. And I didn't realize that until this very moment. Okay. Oh my goodness. But I think it's, um, I don't think it's the centrist yet. Okay. Once this is one star review, written by Tracy L on Yelp for that's weird.

[00:39:52] Trey Gerrald: Very weird. Yeah. The Christmas Tree Shop.

[00:39:58] Chelsey Donn: I really liked the Christmas Tree Shop.

[00:39:59] Trey Gerrald: I've never been.

[00:40:01] Chelsey Donn: I've been many a time.

[00:40:02] Trey Gerrald: So this is specific to I'm S I'm kind of, I kind of don't want to say the city. So I'm just going to say in New Jersey.

[00:40:10] Chelsey Donn: Great.

[00:40:12] Trey Gerrald: Horrible place of business! Managers do not care at all about employees. They talk down to them and treat them like absolute garbage. It's disgusting. The store manager, Linda, has no idea how to run a business and has absolutely no class! During their morning meetings. She would constantly yell at employees. Very nasty woman. There have been men hate H times where I've seen several managers talk to the employees like they're the worst thing in the world. The store is almost always a mess. Filthy. The products are of terrible quality. They have sometime called and as is section, which is basically them trying to sell broken and no good products. The store is disgusting. I recently saw not one, but two customers approach, customer service, having cut their hands on broken glass that was sitting on the shelf.

[00:41:23] Trey Gerrald: And all the only thing they did for those customers was clean up their cuts and give them a, band-aid not even a coupon. What kind of business is this horrible, horrible, horrible will never step foot in that store. Again, you can get better quality products for similar prices, anywhere else store needs a serious makeover. Starting with the disgrace of managers they have there.

[00:41:54] Chelsey Donn: Wow, Tracy L not to be confused with Tracy L you know what I mean?

[00:41:59] Trey Gerrald: So I thought this Review! was interesting because I think this might be our first example

[00:42:05] Chelsey Donn: of a former employee,

[00:42:06] Trey Gerrald: of a former employee.

[00:42:08] Chelsey Donn: Good job, Trey. I haven't come across anything like this. Like this is one of those reviews on Yelp, where if anybody went on Yelp and did like report this review and you can do a reason, like you can say this is a disgruntled employee. I think that this would be like gone in a second because there's so much evidence here. What's really funny to me is if this is not an employee...

[00:42:36] Trey Gerrald: then they must've been in that store all the time.

[00:42:38] Chelsey Donn: Like how much are you hanging out? Like, what are you doing? Are you, are you filming a documentary about the Christmas tree shop? Like,

[00:42:47] Chelsey Donn: well,

[00:42:47] Trey Gerrald: it ha no, they, they reveal their hand because they say during their morning meetings, she would constantly yell at employees. So like, you have to be an employee to be in the morning.

[00:42:57] Chelsey Donn: I guess, unless again, you're like lurking in the corner. I, it just doesn't make any sense to me that they would give so, so much blatant, like the meeting evidence to the fact that they worked there and yet not address the fact that they work there. It's like, were they doing that? Because, because they signed some sort of, you know, agreement. So they're going by, they stole Tracy L's name and they've written this Review! to try to be anonymous?

[00:43:30] Trey Gerrald: Do you think that the Christmas Tree Shop has an NDA for their employees?

[00:43:35] Chelsey Donn: I just I'm, I'm questioning Tracy L here, because honestly, with the assessment that Tracy L is giving. I would have preferred that they say, listen, I used to work at the store. Right. And I know firsthand how terrible it is. You can say I'm a disgruntled employee or whatever it is. But here are the things that I personally saw while spending time in the store that I almost would have respected.

[00:44:05] Trey Gerrald: It is interesting. They don't self identify. Otherwise I would think that this would go on like Glassdoor or like, because it really, I mean, they, they really do say the store is constantly gross. It's dangerous.

[00:44:20] Chelsey Donn: They know about the band-aid incident. They, they just know too much.

[00:44:25] Trey Gerrald: Right. So then, okay, so then is it valuable because you want to patronize a store that's going to care for their employees. I mean, Chick-fil-A cares about their employees. I'll never step foot in there.

[00:44:37] Chelsey Donn: Right? I'm going to say no, I just, I don't trust Tracy L. I don't know what their agenda is. I don't know. the circumstance under which they were fired or left working this store. I do know that they, they just feel a little bit shady and a little bit almost unhinged, because if you're going to write this much detail, like we said, show your hand. What what's happening here. It feel it's, it's almost an episode.

[00:45:08] Trey Gerrald: It's interesting that they say they will never step foot in the store. Again. I wonder if they were fired. Do you think Linda fired them?

[00:45:15] Chelsey Donn: You know what I think, I think there was a really bad morning meeting and Linda just jumped down her throat and that was the final day. And she took off her Christmas Tree Shops, smock and walked out the door. That's what I think.

[00:45:31] Trey Gerrald: I bet someone cut their hand and they went to Tracy for coupons and Linda wouldn't authorize the coupons. And then Tracy brought it up in the meeting and Tracy fired her.

[00:45:43] Chelsey Donn: I mean, the grammar!

[00:45:44] Trey Gerrald: I was just going to say, I, I. It is...

[00:45:49] Chelsey Donn: we could hardly get through it.

[00:45:50] Trey Gerrald: They, they say shelve S H E L V E. So it's not shelf or shelves also. Like there's multiple run-on sentences. It was very confusing. Do you, so do we, I don't know. Do we think that tracy is being truthful? I think that Tracy is, I don't know. I do believe that it probably is dirty and I do believe that like maybe the quality of the products are lower and you could get them at a similar, well, I don't know. It's like, I've never been in a store, so you like it.

[00:46:23] Chelsey Donn: I like Christmas tree shop. It's sort of a misleading name for what it is. It does have a Christmas vibe to it, but it's an all year round store and it's a discount store. Like they have a ton of, it's sort of like a Ross or a TJ Maxx except it's new products.

[00:46:41] Trey Gerrald: Interesting.

[00:46:43] Chelsey Donn: Not that they're not new products at those stores, but I'm just saying it's, it's like, you know, they have inventory. And it is, you know, kind of cheaper stuff. Let's say you were going to throw a party or something like that. And you wanted to get like a Punchbowl, but also like cute napkins for your thing. And maybe a cheeseboard, like if you wanted sort of a variety and then also maybe a cozy blanket. Sure. Why not a variety of items you could go to the Christmas, Christmas tree shop. And the reason I think in my mind, I compare it to a TJ Maxx or Ross. It's almost like an outing, you know, like when you're just like, I need something to do, I'll go walk around the Christmas tree shop. I bet I'll find something that I could use. And it's cheap enough where it's like good retail therapy, if that makes sense.

[00:47:28] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. So do we think that if Tracy, I was a former employee, do you think that they had a common experience? I mean, none of it matters to me. I'm not going to apply there.

[00:47:39] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. But, but, but that being said, Trey, beyond the apply there. I mean, which I guess is implied because they're saying management is terrible. They're not telling us they worked here. They're presenting this Review! as if, I mean, though, of course they're giving it all away, but they're giving this review as if they're, a customer.

[00:47:57] Trey Gerrald: That is true. Why do they not just say that they have a preface? Yeah. All right. Well, was it humorous?

[00:48:05] Chelsey Donn: No.

[00:48:05] Trey Gerrald: No.

[00:48:06] Chelsey Donn: It wasn't humorous.

[00:48:08] Trey Gerrald: Would you hang us on your fridge?

[00:48:10] Chelsey Donn: I wouldn't, I wouldn't hang in on my fridge.

[00:48:13] Chelsey Donn: With a pretty

[00:48:13] Trey Gerrald: bow and like magnet from the Christmas tree shop,

[00:48:16] Chelsey Donn: I would buy the pretty bow magnet, but I don't think I would use it to hang up. Tracy l's review.

[00:48:24] Trey Gerrald: So before we crown, you should know that two people have found this useful. Also I can see Tracey L has only written two Review! Tracy, Tracy just made this account, but that's not their name.

[00:48:37] Chelsey Donn: You don't need to be a detective to figure this one out. You know what I mean?

[00:48:41] Trey Gerrald: I bet her name is Lacey and her last name starts with a T.

[00:48:46] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. So this is really Lacey T writing under the pseudonym. Tracy L they're

[00:48:53] Trey Gerrald: obviously not very good at cloaking the truth. All right. I could crown this. What do you think?

[00:48:59] Chelsey Donn: I can crown this.

[00:49:00] Trey Gerrald: All right. Let's crown it

[00:49:03] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating.

[00:49:05] Trey Gerrald: [laughing]

[00:49:06] Chelsey Donn: What?

[00:49:07] Trey Gerrald: Are you ready?

[00:49:07] Chelsey Donn: I'm ready.

[00:49:12] VOICEOVER: Total score!

[00:49:13] Chelsey Donn: I'm holding a one crown and Trey is holding up a half crown. I gave the one crown because all right, maybe it, maybe it's dusty. I don't love the idea of a place abusing their staff. And for that, I'll give it the one crown. But my one crown is very suspicious because I don't trust Tracy L I don't trust their assessment. I know if I were online and I were looking at reviews, I would immediately think that they were an employee and I would need to move on and continue reading. There's no way I could have a full stop after this Review! and say, no, I'm not going to the Christmas tree shop. So for that reason, I didn't think that Tracy L deserved more than a crown. Why did you cut your crown in half, Trey?

[00:50:01] Trey Gerrald: Everything that you just said, ultimately, I'm not coming to Yelp to find out what it's like as an employee. Yeah. It colors my opinion, but other than it might be dirty and low quality products, which I sort of already had an assumption while having never stepped in to Christmas tree shop. There's nothing to learn here because. I don't trust the narrator. And so that's why I gave half a crown and the spelling, good Lord.

[00:50:28] Chelsey Donn: Oh yeah, you're right. Should have taken another half crown off for that spelling. Anyway.

[00:50:34] Trey Gerrald: Sorry Lacey.

[00:50:35] Chelsey Donn: Sorry, Lacey T! Good review, Trey. I really, I enjoyed that.

[00:50:41] My Royal Highness

[00:50:41] Trey Gerrald: Um, all right. My Queen. So I think that we have reached the most Regal portion of the show. Who are you inducting today for

[00:50:50] VOICEOVER: My Royal highness.

[00:50:51] Chelsey Donn: Thank you so much for asking. Trey.

[00:50:54] Trey Gerrald: You're welcome.

[00:50:55] Chelsey Donn: All right. My Royal Highness today, I think is very important and I I'm, I'm not going to get full clamped. I'm going to, I'm going to try not to get for the cleanse. When I do this, I'm going to give My Royal Highness. To Jonathan Larson. And if you're listening and you don't know who Jonathan Larson is, Jonathan Larson wrote the epic rock, opera Rent. It's obviously incredible. It's been running for years and there's tons of people that are the biggest fans of the show. And Jonathan Larson is an epic artist and he passed away at 35 way way before his prime. And perhaps the most tragic element of his passing was that he actually passed away the night of the first off-Broadway preview of his show. So he never got to see the success that Rent became. And

[00:51:49] Trey Gerrald: I just want to interject.

[00:51:50] Chelsey Donn: Yeah,

[00:51:50] Trey Gerrald: it would be as if Lin-Manuel Miranda died. The day of the first preview of the off-Broadway run of Hamilton, correct. Never getting to see the phenomenon and ultimately the course change that Rent was for the art form of musical theater. It has never been the same since Rent.

[00:52:09] Chelsey Donn: Never. And that's a really good analogy. I think for people who don't understand and who, who weren't so involved wi