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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 33: "Rainbow Chip Frosting / Daughter's Deli"



Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 33: "Rainbow Chip Frosting / Daughter's Deli"

Transcription


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!


THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] CHELSEY DONN: Hello.

[00:00:31] TREY GERRALD: Hello. Welcome to Review That Review the podcast dedicated to reviewing

[00:00:37] CHELSEY DONN: Reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews,

[00:00:49] TREY GERRALD: That's

[00:00:49] TREY GERRALD: Chelsey

[00:00:50] TREY GERRALD: Donn.

[00:00:50] CHELSEY DONN: And that's Trey Gerrald or so I thought, but blonde and in a wig and we'll discuss that soon.

[00:00:56] CHELSEY DONN: I'm

[00:00:57] CHELSEY DONN: sure.

[00:00:57] TREY GERRALD: Oh We will, and together Wig or not we are,

[00:01:02] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens.

[00:01:07] TREY GERRALD: And if you want to support the show while getting bonus and exclusive content, including a members only after show podcast, visit our patreon Page at patreon.com/ReviewThatReview Chelsey. Hello. Do you like, do you like my look?

[00:01:25] CHELSEY DONN: So I'm wondering like, so Trey is wearing a blonde wig. It's like, it's kind of giving me like Garth vibes a little bit. But it's also a lovely luscious blonde wig. And then we have these very large gold wire framed glasses.

[00:01:45] TREY GERRALD: Yes, these

[00:01:45] TREY GERRALD: are well, okay. I'm wearing this wig in honor of the fact that Scream 2022 came out last week. Oh. And we're recording this a little early, so, um, I haven't seen it, but in reality in real time when you're hearing this, I will have seen it!

[00:02:03] TREY GERRALD: and so this was thoughts. We'll have thoughts, but this was the wig that I made for my women of scream series when I did all the women in drag, this was my Tatum wig, and I had a little cat door attached.

[00:02:16] CHELSEY DONN: Did you just say made, you made the wig?

[00:02:19] TREY GERRALD: Well, I didn't sew the wig, but I straightened it out, like with steam, a steamer. And I had to like pluck all of the strands of hair out at the center to make the center part. Cause she has a very specific center part, but I don't shave everyday. So now I, it looks like Garth because I have facial hair and it kind of looks. You know, it's, you're not like a cute female presenting person, then it looks like you're a hippy guy in a production of Hair or something anyway. So I'm very excited for Scream!

[00:02:49] CHELSEY DONN: It's very Hair vibes. Oh my God. I'm so excited for you. I know how much you love that. So that's great.

[00:02:54] TREY GERRALD: Um, so tell me about your week. What's going on.

[00:02:58] Lodge A Complaint

[00:02:58] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my God. You guys. Okay, so let's talk about this. I love dogs. I love. Puppy. Like I can't imagine my life without an animal, but that being said, I just want to take a moment to kvetch for a second about puppies. Like, it's just a lot of work. We go through a lot of phases. She's always barking all the time. I don't know what to do. And always at the most inopportune times, like during a very important zoom or recording, can't get her to stop. So it's probably my fault. I should bring her to get trained, but she, you guys want to see like, Patreon, I guess, Goldie officially destroyed her first toy: the chicken. Um, it's been decapitated. Isn't that great. I've never had a dog that like decapitated toys like this, especially not like a five pound dog that decapitated toys, but here we go. RIP rubber chicken.

[00:03:52] TREY GERRALD: Wow. Good job. Goldie

[00:03:56] CHELSEY DONN: really got her aggression out. So I don't know guys, anyone have any tips? Call, call the voicemail, leave a message. Tell me how to stop a puppy. From boredom barking. Cause I work from home and so she's around, you know, while I'm working and I, we gotta stop. We gotta, I can't, I know that was a complaint and I just logged right in trey, but

[00:04:17] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint!

[00:04:19] CHELSEY DONN: add that to the ledger, please.

[00:04:20] TREY GERRALD: I'm glad that you did that because it's very reminiscent of couple of weeks ago when my, or maybe last week when My Royal Highness turned into my complaint, because you did once induct all the dogs for your Royal Highness.

[00:04:37] CHELSEY DONN: It's true. I was going to say, I know I'm a hipocrite I love the dogs, but the puppy barking, which is more than I can handle,

[00:04:44] TREY GERRALD: you know, I think that everything in life has a ying and a yang, I think.

[00:04:48] CHELSEY DONN: True.

[00:04:48] TREY GERRALD: It's understandable.

[00:04:49] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. That's a great point. Do you have anything you'd like to talk about something you'd like to get off your chest?

[00:04:54] TREY GERRALD: Okay. So. this is a, this can be a 'more you know' moment. It really bothers me when people refer to Broadway musical cast recordings as soundtracks,

[00:05:08] CHELSEY DONN: ...Interesting. Okay.

[00:05:08] TREY GERRALD: It makes me furious. Let me explain: a soundtrack is a released compilation of musical scoring from a film. Sure that's called a sound track. Okay. A cast recording is a complete composition with lyrics for a Broadway musical. That's not a soundtrack. A soundtrack is for feature films. A Cast Recording is for an art form called a musical and it's, I just hate, I th the instant someone refers to a Broadway cast recording as a soundtrack. I go into a, I go into a conversation inside of my head.

[00:05:56] CHELSEY DONN: You turn into Carrie, the musical.

[00:05:58] TREY GERRALD: It hap yes, it happens a lot when people want to seem intelligent or something like on like talk shows and stuff, or like, you know, like someone will be like in a Lin Manuel Miranda movie. And they're like talking about, no, I love musicals. I have like so many soundtracks. It's like, you just exposed yourself. You liar. Anyway, I think there, you know, we're fortunate that we can speak language so we should learn language appropriately and, and use it correctly. Thank you.

[00:06:33] CHELSEY DONN: Cast recording. I'm sure I've made that mistake. And--

[00:06:37] TREY GERRALD: You went to Tisch!

[00:06:39] CHELSEY DONN: I understand this. I, I still think I might've said that. I don't know cast recording. I mean, --

[00:06:46] TREY GERRALD: Do it again, Chelsey, and I'm going to cancel you.

[00:06:51] CHELSEY DONN: It's a cast recording. I love a good cast recording. Do you remember the first cast recording you ever owned as a kid?

[00:06:57] TREY GERRALD: Whoa, what a very good question. I would imagine that the very first cast recording I owned was. Les Miz on cassette. It was a tape, but that was my sisters for sure. But I would listen to it in the car. I specifically remember, you know, I went to a boarding school and so it was like an, an hour and a half away. And so when my dad would drive me, I have a very vivid memory of when I purchased the hairspray cast recording and the wicked cast recording. And my poor dad would just drive me the 90 minutes and we would listen to wicked and hairspray. So gay, what about you? Do you have a memory ?

[00:07:38] CHELSEY DONN: I do. I, I remember getting the cast recording. I want to say for the, the grease production that Rosie O'Donald was in, maybe I just love to belt out There Are Worst Things I Can Do. What can I have say... in my living room? And I suppose my family was around, but they were kind enough to ignore me, I guess. Love a good cast recording.

[00:08:04] TREY GERRALD: Oh, that's fun. Thank you for humoring. Me, everyone. And you know, if you've made the mistake, it's okay. You can forgive yourself. Just learn from your mistakes.

[00:08:12] CHELSEY DONN: You know what? There's so many teachable moments. That happen to us every day. So there might as well be another one, you know, and with all this like joy education, balancing of good and bad ying and yang, everything that we've been discussing up until now, do you think it it's like time for us to jump into some online reviews? Trey?

[00:08:33] TREY GERRALD: I think it's tiiime! As you all know. We are your trusty Review! Queens. Each week, we bring in a review from the internet that we feel needs to be inspected.

[00:08:44] CHELSEY DONN: We read you the review! break it down and rate the impact of the review on a scale from one to five crowns, it's a very Regal process that we call

[00:08:53] VOICEOVER: Assess That Kvetch.

[00:08:55] CHELSEY DONN: And you trey are first

[00:08:57] TREY GERRALD: party in the U S A'.

[00:09:00] CHELSEY DONN: take it away, RQ.

[00:09:04] Rainbow Chip Frosting 1 Star Review

[00:09:04] VOICEOVER: Review That Review.

[00:09:09] TREY GERRALD: Okay. Speaking of Yinging and Yanging, I today am going to present a one star review from target.com for Betty Crocker, Rainbow Chip Frosting, 16 ounces. And this one-star review is written by a user named IHeartRainbowChip.

[00:09:33] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, no, this is like already very intriguing. So there, there, okay, so this is a one-star review written by IHeartRainbowChip for Rainbow Chip Frosting.

[00:09:50] TREY GERRALD: Correct.

[00:09:52] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. I cannot wait to hear what IHeartRainbowChip has this. I take it away.

[00:09:56] TREY GERRALD: Here we go.

[00:09:58] TREY GERRALD: Why in the world, would you switch the Rainbow Chips for sprinkles?

[00:10:05] TREY GERRALD: I was planning on using Rainbow Chip Frosting on my sister's birthday cake, because we both love Rainbow Chip so much. Unfortunately it was nowhere to be found and I sadly bought this instead Sprinkles do nothing for either of us. They don't taste good. They don't feel good. They are just there! Rainbow Chips, on the other hand, are so delicious that I will eat it by the spoonful. Would I ever be tempted by the sprinkles enough to do that? Why? No, no, I wouldn't!

[00:10:46] TREY GERRALD: Giving up the Rainbow Chips for sprinkles is like saying you'd rather have an outhouse. Rather than indoor plumbing at your home, I'll be waiting for the return of Rainbow Chip Frosting.

[00:10:59] TREY GERRALD: Please bring it back.

[00:11:03] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my God. Okay. So here's what I'm confused about. Right off the bat. Are they accusing Betty Crocker of masquerading Rainbow Chip Frosting as a product that doesn't in fact include Rainbow Chips, it includes sprinkles. Or, are they writing this review on a product that target no longer has in stock in hopes that they will restock this item? Because the alternative is the one with the rainbow sprinkles and that's not acceptable. What is it that IHeartRainbowChip? Do You, you think is saying?

[00:11:43] TREY GERRALD: Well, I did a little research and I found myself on Betty Crocker.com/products/frosting/Rainbow Chip Frosting, F A Q oh geez. Okay. Just so you know, IHeartRainbowChip's Review! is from seven years ago. Now this article from Betty Crocker was written in 2017.

[00:12:08] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. So this review is written in 2005. Okay. Got it.

[00:12:14] TREY GERRALD: Okay. Thank you for doing that math. Cause I couldn't do that. So this FAQ specifically for Rainbow Chip Frosting has 11 FAQ's. I'm not going to read them all, but basically the jest here is in the mid 1980s, Rainbow Chip was launched by Betty Crocker and discontinued in the summer of 2013.

[00:12:39] TREY GERRALD: Okay. They say Betty Crocker, discontinued Rainbow Chip, because we believed that consumers wanted the chips on top, not in the frosting.

[00:12:50] CHELSEY DONN: Interesting.

[00:12:51] TREY GERRALD: But we heard people loud and clear that chips in the frosting are what make Rainbow Chip unique. And there is no. Substitute. We were blown away by the passion to bring Rainbow Chip back and we've been working hard to make that happen.

[00:13:08] CHELSEY DONN: Wow.

[00:13:10] TREY GERRALD: And it says Benjamin Johnson was one of the most vocal quote unquote champions of Rainbow Chip. He started a change.org. Campaign that received almost 7,000 signatures. And this really got our attention. We received feedback from so many people who love Rainbow Chip, and we felt that Benjamin did a great job of representing that passion.

[00:13:38] TREY GERRALD: And this is the final FAQ. It's very important. How is Katy Perry involved in this? We received a tweet from Katy Perry last year, telling us that we ruined her birthday. It turns out Katy Perry is a big fan and we wanted to let her know that we're bringing back her favorite frosting. So, wow. Betty Crocker decided to discontinue this product.

[00:14:04] CHELSEY DONN: And then based on the influence of reviewers and people that voiced their opinion. They brought the product back!!

[00:14:11] TREY GERRALD: But I do know cause one of the other FAQ is, is that they subbed it out with rainbow sprinkle. And then when they decided to bring Rainbow Chip back, they stopped production on rainbow sprinkle. So it's curious to me that IHeartRainbowChip wrote this review on a, I'm assuming an old Rainbow Chip and not on rainbow Sprinkles.

[00:14:36] CHELSEY DONN: Right.

[00:14:37] TREY GERRALD: Cause it's actually, I think a review of rainbow sprinkle being subpar.

[00:14:41] CHELSEY DONN: Yes. I agree that the Review! is categorized under the wrong product,

[00:14:46] TREY GERRALD: -Unless they did it in both places

[00:14:48] CHELSEY DONN: they might have. They very well might have. That's a good point. So, okay. So if it is what I'm picturing and it is that chocolate inside thing, but I can understand how that and rainbow sprinkles. Are vastly different vastly. One of them is essentially sugar, you know, and the other one is more of a actual treat. The experience of eating both of those items is remarkably different. So I can understand why somebody like IHeartRainbowChip, who hearts Rainbow Chips enough to make it, their username would feel so impassioned about this difference.

[00:15:29] CHELSEY DONN: But my question is, is it really the fault of the sprinkle that it's not a rainbow chip?

[00:15:35] TREY GERRALD: That thank you, actually, I get that. That's funny. But also that was really occurring to me. What do you think about the idea of eating the frosting by the spoonful

[00:15:45] CHELSEY DONN: Delish! Why not?

[00:15:47] TREY GERRALD: I know, but something about that makes me feel like so many such a reckless choice that it makes me feel really nervous. You know what I mean?

[00:15:54] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, it's not something that I, I do, but like, if I'm watching a movie and I see somebody like, you know, having a spoonful of frosting yeah. I'm not going to be like, whoa, what a weirdo? Like I don't, I think we've spoken about this. Neither of us. I don't think are very much like sweets lovers. Yeah, me too. Anyway. Okay. Let's, let's focus in on this. Review!

[00:16:15] TREY GERRALD: Okay. Do you think that there's anything valuable new or unique about this review?

[00:16:20] CHELSEY DONN: Not on the, not on the forum that it lies, you know, now on the page that you found the Review! for target, where they presently selling the frosting icing?

[00:16:34] TREY GERRALD: Yeah Because it's now a 2022. So like,

[00:16:36] CHELSEY DONN: and it's back.

[00:16:37] TREY GERRALD: Yeah and this review is still there.

[00:16:41] CHELSEY DONN: And this Review! right. So, no, unfortunately the Review! isn't relevant. However, I like that you pointed out that Betty Crocker did in fact. Put a voice to the voiceless, you know, and, and acknowledge people like IHeartRainbowChip, which, you know, made me realize, wow, IHeartRainbowChip is really not alone. You know? there will likely be somebody that will read this Review! and feel IHeartRainbowChips pain, right?

[00:17:13] TREY GERRALD: Yes. It is surrounded by other reviews saying this is horrible. Why did you change.

[00:17:19] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, interesting. Are people saying that that's different from the product that was available prior to 2011 or whenever it was, it was off,

[00:17:27] TREY GERRALD: No. They went back. It is the same product. Right. But all of these reviews remain when they were out of production.

[00:17:37] CHELSEY DONN: Okay.

[00:17:38] TREY GERRALD: What do you think about the metaphor being similar to an outhouse rather than indoor plumbing?

[00:17:45] CHELSEY DONN: I mean, I really laughed before that. I don't know what I found so funny before that. Why? No, no, I wouldn't. I think I just thought that that was really funny.

[00:17:56] TREY GERRALD: Why no!

[00:17:57] CHELSEY DONN: Why. No, no, I wouldn't. I, I dunno. I thought it was kind of funny. I mean, I definitely got a couple chuckles out of it, so I'll give a, I'll give like a little points for humor. You know, I got, I got a chuckle.

[00:18:11] TREY GERRALD: It's interesting because I think with the context clues of going to Betty Crocker.com, like we recognize IHeartRainbowChip is being truthful and that it was a common experience and it was very typical.

[00:18:25] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah, I don't think there's any value here. Um, no, not now. You know, I don't think that anybody going to this product page today will gain anything from reading this review.

[00:18:37] TREY GERRALD: Which is a very interesting conversation. Why is target.com not scrubbing the Review!?

[00:18:43] CHELSEY DONN: Because it just takes way too much time. And they all like outsource.

[00:18:48] CHELSEY DONN: I was talking to a friend that was telling me that there's a Review! company that handles all of these reviews. Apparently I should figure that out and tell you guys the name of it, but they're the ones that are actually receiving and monitoring the reviews on their end. We're not seeing that we're seeing target.com on our side, but really they outsourced. This kind of stuff. So it doesn't surprise me that a lot of these reviews don't end up getting scrubbed because there's nothing to. Uh, inappropriate about the Review!, you know?

[00:19:20] TREY GERRALD: It just is inaccurate at this point.

[00:19:21] CHELSEY DONN: It's just, maybe it's, it's, uh, residually impactful that maybe I wouldn't get the sprinkles on, but like, I'm not gonna lie. Like I don't mind a rainbow sprinkle moment. And if I was going in for a rainbow sprinkle moment, I feel like I would know what I was getting myself into. So the impact here is limited.

[00:19:38] TREY GERRALD: Yeah, yeah. Pretty low. I think I can crowd. I gotcha. All right, let's do it. And that was fun. So Chelsey and I each have our own set of one to five crown cards and in an effort to be fair and not influenced by one another, we will simultaneously reveal our Rainbow Chip ratings.

[00:19:55] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating. Total Score!

[00:20:03] TREY GERRALD: Oh my gosh!

[00:20:03] CHELSEY DONN: Two crowns, two crowns.

[00:20:06] TREY GERRALD: Interesting.

[00:20:07] CHELSEY DONN: The Queens are unanimous. Okay. I'll go first. Roy G Bev. I gave iHeartRainbow two crowns because I got a chuckle. And I appreciated their passion and I appreciated that they were part of this posse, uh, like Rainbow Chip mafia, that along with their leader, Katy Perry, um, they were, and Don. Johnson

[00:20:33] TREY GERRALD: Benjamin Johnson,

[00:20:35] CHELSEY DONN: Benjamin Johnson. Sorry, not Don Johnson. Benjamin Johnson were able to convince Betty Crocker to bring back a product. And for that I'll applaud them and give them the two crowns. I had to take all the other cons away because at the end of the day, this is not a useful Review!. How about you Trey? Why two crowns?

[00:20:53] TREY GERRALD: I mean, literally, ditto. It's not valuable anymore. The spelling, and grammar was fine, but this fine truthful yes. Common experience we've found out. Yes. Humorous kind. Yeah. Kind of. Cause it's just funny. They're so impassioned. But the impact is like zero at this point, also huge kudos to Betty Crocker for listening to their audience. But yeah. So that's, that's why.

[00:21:16] CHELSEY DONN: Love that Reply from Owner!

[00:21:19] TREY GERRALD: Amen.

[00:21:21] TREY GERRALD: Uh, Okie-dokie let's take a quick break. And when we come back, we can get into Chelsey's. Review!

[00:21:28] CHELSEY DONN: love it. BRB.

[00:21:32] VOICEOVER: Hold your crown. We'll be right back.

[00:22:00] Meryl-Go-Round

[00:22:00] TREY GERRALD: It's game time, Chelsey, you better get y'all self ready because we're going to take a quick spin on the Meryl-Go-Round

[00:22:08] VOICEOVER: I don't feel like an icon. Most of the days I feel like 'I can't!' that's with an,. A'..

[00:22:18] CHELSEY DONN: Here's the deal. Trey and I have each picked a rotten scathing, pithy One-Star-Zinger and with 30 seconds on the clock, we'll take turns, trying to recite the zinger in as many genres as possible.

[00:22:30] TREY GERRALD: Just like queen Meryl, Streep who does it all!

[00:22:31] CHELSEY DONN: Before the clock runs out.

[00:22:33] TREY GERRALD: All right. Chelsey D what is your zinger?

[00:22:36] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. I pulled back out my, um, gag gift Rolodex from Amazon. And this One-Star-Zinger is for a toilet golf putter.

[00:22:50] TREY GERRALD: Oh my God.

[00:22:51] CHELSEY DONN: This is a one-star review written by Anthony C. The Review! subject is missing the main piece and the Review! is, it was missing the putter. I mean agregious

[00:23:09] TREY GERRALD: all right. Well then in honor of your One-Star-Zinger Chelsey, I'm going to strap you in. Two, uh, Sharman role.

[00:23:17] CHELSEY DONN: I can like the Sharman bear be a part of the experience.

[00:23:20] TREY GERRALD: Of course.

[00:23:21] CHELSEY DONN: Great.

[00:23:22] TREY GERRALD: All right, here we go.

[00:23:25] VOICEOVER: 3, 2, 1, GO!

[00:23:29] VOICEOVER: Superhero. Hey, it was

[00:23:30] VOICEOVER: missing

[00:23:33] VOICEOVER: WWE. It was

[00:23:41] VOICEOVER: Soap opera.

[00:23:43] VOICEOVER: It wasn't missing the putter

[00:23:45] VOICEOVER: magic show. He was missing

[00:23:50] VOICEOVER: sports announcer

[00:23:52] VOICEOVER: was missing

[00:23:54] VOICEOVER: televangelist.

[00:23:55] VOICEOVER: 3, 2, 1. That's All.

[00:24:01] TREY GERRALD: Seven diva.

[00:24:04] CHELSEY DONN: Yay. Love that. Thank you. Thank you all. Thanks Trey. I feel, I feel good about my performance. What got you. Try it. Where is your One-Star-Zinger from?

[00:24:16] TREY GERRALD: Okay, so today I have a one star zinger from rotten tomatoes, and this is for the. Diana the musical on Netflix, which was a professionally shot version of the Broadway musical on Netflix. This is written by Catherine P and Catherine P's zinger is I made an account just so I could rate this worst thing I've ever watched.

[00:24:46] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my god. Oh, all right. Good luck. Get your red leather. Yellow leather is ready because you got a long one. Oh, you're strapped into a care bear. Um, because I just felt like that with the whole rainbow thing, like care, bear your strapped into a care bear

[00:25:03] TREY GERRALD: care bear. Stare. Carebears there.

[00:25:06] CHELSEY DONN: Let's do

[00:25:07] TREY GERRALD: this. Okay, here we go. Yeah.

[00:25:10] VOICEOVER: Three, Two, One,

[00:25:13] VOICEOVER: GO! teen drama.

[00:25:16] VOICEOVER: I made an account just so I could rate this worst thing I've ever seen and watched Shakespeare. I made an account just so I could read this where sting I've ever watched

[00:25:30] VOICEOVER: disaster.

[00:25:32] VOICEOVER: I made an account just so I could read this.

[00:25:34] VOICEOVER: Where's the.

[00:25:36] VOICEOVER: Yankee

[00:25:38] VOICEOVER: I, where I made an account, just so I could rate this is the worst thing I've ever

[00:25:42] VOICEOVER: launched.

[00:25:42] VOICEOVER: 3, 2, 1, That's All.

[00:25:48] CHELSEY DONN: I just want to know. Yeah. Right. I just want to know where that Shakespeare production was being held.

[00:25:55] TREY GERRALD: I don't know, I was like, let me do Iambic pentameter. And then I was like, oh my gosh,

[00:26:00] CHELSEY DONN: there was like an Italian dialogue. I think it was like an Italian production of Shakespeare. Anyway. Great job. Trey considering how long that was. You did phenomenal. That was four for you, RQT

[00:26:12] TREY GERRALD: that makes you the winner.

[00:26:14] CHELSEY DONN: It does, but I feel like, I mean, you didn't have a chance, but I'm glad you brought in the Review! cause it was funny. Good work.

[00:26:21] TREY GERRALD: Alright, here we go.

[00:26:23] CHELSEY DONN: All right, let's do this!

[00:26:26] Daughter's Deli Review

[00:26:26] VOICEOVER: Review That Review.

[00:26:30] TREY GERRALD: This wig is like getting itchy, like on the back of my neck. Like it's like gross anyway. All right. We're back from that rousing game break. And now it is your turn Chelsey. Where is your Review! from this week?

[00:26:43] CHELSEY DONN: Thank you for asking Trey. So I wanted to take a little departure this week. I'm actually bringing in a five star review today from Daughter's Deli here in Los Angeles.

[00:26:56] CHELSEY DONN: Daughter's Deli is a deli in west Hollywood. That was started from the daughter. Of, I guess he would be the grandson, the daughter of the grandson of the creator of Langer's deli, which is like more like down in downtown LA I've been complaining. Cause I've not been able to find a deli that I love. And it was so good. You guys like, um, I mean, just like quick plug for Daughter's, Deli, cause it was delicious. Okay. And I did what I usually do, which is I went into the search bar and I searched for some of the items I was thinking about ordering. And so that's what I was searching for latkes and I came across this Review! that I wanted to share with you guys today.

[00:27:36] CHELSEY DONN: So, this is a five-star review from Yelp, for Daughter's Deli from Bruce K., who is an elite reviewer, and he will make that known. And here we go.

[00:27:49] CHELSEY DONN: Let's figure out something about Yelp reviews and it will help you enormously to know which reviews to put in the Yelp trash bin. Any review that complains about the cost? Every Yelp page has an online menu. Try checking it before you bemoan that your tuna sandwich costs 14 bucks. And you think Subway is better? You're A. Delusional and B. You deserve to eat at Subway. Legit complaints are always welcome and fine. And we have a few here that all say the same thing.

[00:28:31] CHELSEY DONN: Order placed via a delivery service. Food's not ready. Delivery service kept waiting for a long period of time. I'll get to that in a minute, but let's cut to the chase, shall we? I, just this minute, finished eating a meal delivered from Daughter's Deli to me via Postmates. Was it cheap? No. Please inform me of a deli that's cheap. Hint, you can't. Delis aren't cheap. The end. Was it worth the dough. Oh my, yes.

[00:29:04] CHELSEY DONN: Here's why. I almost ordered what I normally get at daughter's dad's jernt. The pastrami with Russian dressing and coleslaw. But at the last minute I switched to the Turkey version. I also got the latkas, potato pancakes. I scheduled the food to arrive between two and two 30. It arrived at three 30, but I'm about five or six miles away. So not too bad, but if you're of a distance. Sure, Perhaps expect a delay. With Postmates, you can follow the entire experience. And once the Postmate arrived at the restaurant, it all went pretty quickly, but let's cut to the next chase, shall we?

[00:29:53] CHELSEY DONN: How was it? Simply put, the sandwich was one of the best sandwiches I've ever had. It was spectacularly good. Everything was just perfection and the potato pancakes of which there were three. We're every bit as good as Langers. And there are a lot smaller, which I appreciated actually. So eating the three is really like eating one and a quarter of a Langers latke.

[00:30:24] CHELSEY DONN: Basically food heaven. And you already know I'm the only person you can trust on Yelp smiley face. So if you love Deli. You already know that Langer's is the BEST in the United States. Yes. Better than Kats. IMO. And now we have the daughter version and it's every bit as wonderful without having to go downtown much better than Cantor's BTW.

[00:31:00] CHELSEY DONN: And there you have it. I have to now go plots.

[00:31:09] CHELSEY DONN: Oh, my God, Bruce

[00:31:12] TREY GERRALD: Wait. Plots means like you're like resting. You're like tired.

[00:31:19] CHELSEY DONN: I'm so exhausted.

[00:31:21] TREY GERRALD: Right. Okay. Whoa. Okay. So I feel like. I've got a plotz because Bruce. Wow. Okay. Wait. So funny to me, there was a huge journey on this Review! because it felt like Bruce is as the instructor of Yelp Academy. Like, I felt like Bruce was speaking to me. Like I've never heard of the word Yelp before.

[00:31:45] CHELSEY DONN: Yes. Okay. So obviously there's a level of pompousness, whatever you want to call it to Bruce, that is, is off putting, I felt that way. As soon as I read it, when I started reading it, I thought is that it, is he a PR agent for Daughter's Deli? Like he's coming to the defense. So hard. But then when I realized he's an elite reviewer and he's written, you know, 244 reviews, I was like, all right, Bruce is the kind of person that really comes to give his full, worked out opinion here. And he really obviously considers himself an expert and takes the elite status very seriously.

[00:32:23] TREY GERRALD: Do You think that he prefaces every review with like, let me tell you how to trust which reviews are real and which ones aren't.

[00:32:31] CHELSEY DONN: Well, it is specific though. Like maybe like the first sentence, I guess, maybe he copies and pastes all the time. But I do think that there's a lot of queenly points that Bruce makes in the beginning that we talk about a lot, which is that at the end of the day, if I'm going to Yelp, I don't need to know that the Postmates driver was a slow driver and took a long time to get to you. I don't care. What I care about is was the food good or bad? Now the point of the pricing and the dig it like, then you deserve to be at Subway. Like, God, that was a bit of a low blow. You want to talk about it? Talk,

[00:33:10] TREY GERRALD: what does that even mean? Um, okay. I guess I can extrapolate that Bruce is making A'.. Right there, there are clarifying the difference in a quality of a deli versus a chain deli.

[00:33:24] TREY GERRALD: But like subway is fine. Like who cares? Yes. They used to make bread that had the same ingredient that's inside yoga mats, but they don't do that anymore.

[00:33:33] CHELSEY DONN: Is that true?!

[00:33:34] TREY GERRALD: Yeah. It was a whole thing. That was like a preservative.

[00:33:37] CHELSEY DONN: Oh my goodness.

[00:33:38] TREY GERRALD: That's crazy dis.

[00:33:40] CHELSEY DONN: I think that you're the perfect person to receive that between the two of us, because you're such an advocate for fast food, you know?

[00:33:50] TREY GERRALD: Oh good point!

[00:33:50] CHELSEY DONN: And like you, you grew up on a lot of this, you know, no judgment, but like you grew up on a lot of this sort of faster food. And so you're, you know, understandably. So I think that's going to hit you a little bit harder.

[00:34:05] TREY GERRALD: Bruce got me! Bruce got me right where I live!

[00:34:08] CHELSEY DONN: Right in the fast food co Kish, because as I say, um, all right, so what I, what I'm getting from this, which again, we didn't need to deliver it in quite the way that Bruce did is, listen... Don't come to Yelp to complain about the pricing or the delivery speed or any of this stuff. Because at the end of the day, you're just clogging the chain as we liked, you know, as we have pointed out before you can look at a menu and decide that the food is too expensive and then not go there, deli is expensive. It's, it's just a thing it's expensive to run a deli. The food at delis is typically pretty expensive in exchange for like good quality food, usually a nice side of potato salad or macaroni salad, a nice pickle. It's like a whole eating, like you're not just getting a $15 sandwich. You're usually getting a $15 sandwich that like is a big. Sizable sandwich and a little bit of a side and a pickle. Like that's what you're getting at a deli. So if you're looking at the menu and you're like, damn 14 bucks is too much for me to spend on a tuna fish sandwich and you're not factoring in all that a deli is then by all means go to Subway, but don't clog the reviews with this and lower daughter's deli overall rating because you're assigning responsibility to Daughter's Deli that isn't really there.

[00:35:33] TREY GERRALD: Yeah. I think the distinction is like, even though Subway's slogan is eat fresh, it isn't fresh. It's from bags. And when you go to like an upscale deli, you know, they're making the macaroni salad every day. They're making fresh vegetables every day, every day, oftentimes they're baking their own bread. Um, so that's like,

[00:35:53] CHELSEY DONN: yes, the food was so good. You guys, like everything was amazing. And top, top, even just like, you know, I'm really picky about my T my to go containers. Even the, to go containers were great. Like everything. Was perfect about my delivery experience. So I understand Bruce has passion here because he's saying your you're not giving credit where credit is due. If you're commenting on these other things,

[00:36:21] TREY GERRALD: I have a question going into spelling here. You said. Dad's jernt.

[00:36:27] CHELSEY DONN: So that I w I, yeah, so I want to say that that's, that is the right spelling. Like that's, I think that's an age thing.

[00:36:34] TREY GERRALD: Jernt?!

[00:36:35] CHELSEY DONN: Jernt. Yes. Look it up right now. J E R N T. Yeah. It's a word. It means joint. it is an acceptable alternative to the word joint. Now there's, there's no doubt in my mind that Bruce Kay would put a review on Yelp without doing a thorough spelling.

[00:36:55] TREY GERRALD: It like a thesaurus thing. So, okay. Similarly, when you're saying, when Bruce's dictating, how spectacularly good the food was you rat out with. Good. D D is that smell there or did you just act that.

[00:37:17] TREY GERRALD: Oh, damn it. I thought for sure that it was like MMM P H

[00:37:22] VOICEOVER: no, sorry.

[00:37:23] CHELSEY DONN: I artistic expression there. I lose having a moment of eating the sandwich myself.

[00:37:29] TREY GERRALD: Well, okay. I do want to just say here it tickled me the precision at which Bruce dictates that daughter's deli's latkes are smaller. So actually, when you're eating at, it's basically a quarter of the size when you're eating three versus the size of the dads, it just was like breaking it down to the quarter. I thought was like, obviously this is,

[00:37:58] CHELSEY DONN: oh my god. You're right. So eating the three is really like eating one and a quarter of a Langer's latke.

[00:38:04] TREY GERRALD: One and a quarter.

[00:38:10] CHELSEY DONN: Yes, I guess I gloss over that, but yeah, that's so funny.

[00:38:15] TREY GERRALD: Wait. So how old do you think Bruce is? Just, what do you think?

[00:38:18] CHELSEY DONN: So Bruce does have a little photo here, but it looks like, so I think that Bruce, I have some feelings about Bruce. I think that Bruce was like a food critic or something back in the day, uh, some sort of writer author, because Bruce's photo. Is him with his head in his hand like this, and it's a black and white headshot. I want to say this headshot is probably at least 20 years old. So I, I think Bruce is like probably around our parents' age. Maybe a little bit old.

[00:38:51] TREY GERRALD: Yeah. I was thinking that as well. You know, I keep wondering, and this is like neither here nor there, but I'm so curious about when there's a family business and someone branches off and it's like a whole different thing, but you're sort of like, you know, that you're going to be known as the daughter of the famous one. I just automatically think they must be in a huge fight.

[00:39:15] CHELSEY DONN: They're not though. That's what that is. Honestly. I think what makes this so great. Like when you go on the daughter's deli website, um, they have a whole long like paragraph beautiful. Intro about us, about how this happened and how it's changed and how this is like a growing and an evolving of a family tradition that will never replace it, but it it's made

[00:39:40] TREY GERRALD: inspired by

[00:39:41] CHELSEY DONN: it's inspired by it's drawn from that. Like, it's just a continuation of this, of this family thing. Not, not a departure from.

[00:39:49] TREY GERRALD: So we, okay. We know about spelling and grammar. Yes. Truthful shady. I think, you know, it is interesting. Cause I do think that Bruce really dapples in shady areas, but is telling truth.

[00:40:02] CHELSEY DONN: And that was really why he brought the reviews. So I was like, Bruce is a little shady.

[00:40:06] TREY GERRALD: It really took me a while to figure out why it was five stars because the whole, like first two paragraphs are very negative.

[00:40:13] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. Which, which also --

[00:40:15] CHELSEY DONN: Or, instructionary,

[00:40:17] TREY GERRALD: it's sort of like, look, people don't know how to Yelp properly. Let me tell you how to do it.

[00:40:25] CHELSEY DONN: Right.

[00:40:26] TREY GERRALD: So like that has an impact on me.

[00:40:29] CHELSEY DONN: Which is why I think that Bruce is like an editorial writer. Cause I feel like this Review! would like better serve as like a letter to everybody writing reviews on Yelp from a Yelp elite, you know, like,

[00:40:42] TREY GERRALD: oh gosh, can you imagine reading that?

[00:40:45] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah. I mean, if I didn't. Uh, search for the, so when you search on Yelp for word, like, I searched for latkes because I'm very picky about my lockers and I liked my lockers on the smaller side. I might've been a little annoyed that I had to read like this huge Trey is currently brushing his wig in case you're not watching.

[00:41:06] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. So. The word that you search is bolded. So I was able to go right to the section of vs Review That told me that like, that the lock goes were smaller and that like, they were just as good as langurs, but in a smaller package, which I really was like a plastic man. I was like, Ugh, in getting them. I think if I was just someone that was going to Yelp to look for a review about the food, it's a lot to chew on.

[00:41:33] CHELSEY DONN: Pun intended before we get to the nitty gritty of the food. And there's something that's almost ironic about Bruce talking about all these people essentially wasting the time of the reader of the reviewer. When he then. Proceeds to waste the time of the reviewer, but because we had to get through that before we got any information that was actually useful, like the kind of sandwich that he got, that was really good. The, you know, the quality of the lockers and et cetera, et cetera. I don't know. What do you think about that?

[00:42:09] TREY GERRALD: I was going to talk about that in my crowning. Cause it does, it takes a while to get to any meat, but, but it is funny to me, it does feel like a caricature of like the grumpy old neighbor on the lawn. That's like get off of my yard,

[00:42:24] CHELSEY DONN: Yeah like, you kids belong in the yelp trash bin. I'd tell you.

[00:42:29] TREY GERRALD: Yeah. Which so I'm very curious about crowning though. Cause I'm, I'm really have like eight minds on this review.

[00:42:35] CHELSEY DONN: I will say, unlike the humor and I was, I was definitely tickled and that sounds weird to be like, I was tickled by Bruce. I don't mean it that way, but you know, I was deaf.

[00:42:46] CHELSEY DONN: Like there was a part of me that did find it, like funny in, in like that, that way. So I don't know. I think we can crown it. Are you ready to crown it?

[00:42:53] CHELSEY DONN: I think

[00:42:53] TREY GERRALD: I'm ready. Let's do it.

[00:42:55] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating! Total Score!

[00:43:02] CHELSEY DONN: Okay. So Trey's holding up three crowns, I'm holding up three and a half crowns. So we're very close. Trey. Tell us why you gave Bruce 3 crowns.

[00:43:10] TREY GERRALD: I'm surprised that were similar enough because something about this Review! is a huge turnoff to me. I don't like being told what is so. I recognize the points, the value of like stop clogging up the Yelp. But sometimes people use the delivery service at the restaurant. It has nothing to do with Postmates. So just anytime someone speaks in and grand statements that is triggering to me, but I gave it a three that really got me. That's my people. There's a, there's a pompousness to Bruce that is sort of off-putting to me, but I gave it three because it did give me a chuckle. And if Bruce is this opinionated, when they are being positive about something that holds a lot of water. And so, and I do believe because we didn't even talk about this, but Bruce quotes so many famous delis and says like, this is really the tops. I feel like they've done a lot of research and, and in conclusion, It took a long time to get to the point of why you're leaving a five-star review. And so for that reason, I, I took some crowns away because I think just get to it as I ramble on. So that's why I said three crowns. Chelsey, why did you say three and one half?

[00:44:37] CHELSEY DONN: I agree with everything you said, I will just add, I needed to give Bruce an extra half crown because he was the decision maker in making me order from daughter's deli, after reading Bruce's Review! seeing what he had to say about the latkas. I was like, I'm in, I placed the order and then I ordered the food and they were actually delicious. So I feel like my feelings about Bruce, even though agreed. It's kind of obnoxious, but let's cut to the chase and then, but let's cut to the next chase. I mean, there's a little something that's almost too cheeky in it for me, but that being said perfect spelling, perfect delivery, definitely in it to read more of Bruce's reviews. Can't wait to see what else is out there. And for that reason I gave Bruce K. You know, even though he could have been a little bit more of a mench, I gave him three and a half.

[00:45:33] TREY GERRALD: I'm curious about other Bruce Kay reviews. Good job. Very funny Daughter's Deli I'll have to go there in March. We are attending a podcast convention together in Los Angeles.

[00:45:46] TREY GERRALD: Oh, we can go to the real one cause that's downtown.

[00:45:51] CHELSEY DONN: We can go to the OG. Yeah, we can.

[00:45:53] TREY GERRALD: I didn't mean to say that that's okay. Here we are.

[00:45:55] My Royal Highness

[00:45:55] CHELSEY DONN: We are here. We have reached the most Regal portion of our show. Who are you, Trey, inducting for.

[00:46:04] VOICEOVER: My Royal Highness

[00:46:06] TREY GERRALD: Okay, interesting that this is following your review of something that you recently purchased. Because today I'm going to induct a small business called Duck Duck and Goose owned by someone that I do know named Chris Dwan. And Chris makes scarves, wrist warmers, candles that are delicious. Daisy chains, socks, pens. And what I just purchased are it's called a quack pack. But it's basically like a miniature Fanny pack. You know how like the kids are wearing like cute Fanny packs, like in the front now it's so cute. It's like the perfect size instead of having like, you know, a bulging wallet or whatever.

[00:46:48] CHELSEY DONN: Well, also, because you had that problem, your, your complaint about the jeans. And the wallet

[00:46:53] TREY GERRALD: I, know I can just keep my wallet in my Quackpack. So I ordered it as a secret. Um, I didn't tell Chris I was buying out and then obviously Chris makes everything. So Chris knew I was doing it, but I just wanted to induct Duck Duck and Goose Co because the quality is really superb and supporting local businesses and supporting friends, supporting small businesses. I encourage everyone to go and make a purchase. They, Chris also sells. They look like they're scarves, but they're like infinity, like circle, neck, warmer, scarves. They're so cute. And they're all hand knitted, which is like so cute. Um, and it's the company's been around since 2013, so it's not like, you know, this ain't no schmuck. Okay.

[00:47:37] TREY GERRALD: Oh, now I love this stuff and I love the quack pack. So I am inducting Duck Duck and Goose for My Royal Highness.

[00:47:47] CHELSEY DONN: Wow, what a great company. I have a Duck Duck Goose story that I'll tell on Patreon later, but until we get to that, I guess I should, My Royal Highness. Right? So I'm going to induct today. Comfy pajamas guys. I love comfy pajamas. If you are like in the. I dunno, mood to send me a gift sometime send me some comfy pajamas in like the largest size possible. Cause I I'll may I'll take like a four X, three X, whatever. I just like love. I want to swim in my comfy pajamas. It's been cold and there is nothing that can make my life better than taking a hot shower and then getting into comfy pajamas. And for that reason, and because they're just such a part of my life, I think it's really, really critic. That I N docked comfy pajamas and all of the joy that they bring into my life as My Royal Highness.

[00:48:48] TREY GERRALD: Do you have a preference in material? Do you like fleece or do you like terrycloth?

[00:48:53] CHELSEY DONN: I L I like a nice, like a linen. I like, um, I like a fleece for the winter. Ooh. A nice like fleece, like fuzzy pajama moment that can get a little hot at night. Cotton is good, but love a pajama.

[00:49:10] TREY GERRALD: So we all have to remember this come June. All right. Well, we did it queen that is another round on the RU a RQ Ferris wheel of rainbow chip life.

[00:49:22] CHELSEY DONN: Yes. Thank you guys so much for joining us today. If you liked what you heard, please, tell a friend.

[00:49:29] TREY GERRALD: If you didn't like what you heard, please tell an enemy. We would love for you to join our mailing list, to stay up to date with the goings on, in the queendom. Visit ReviewThatReview.Com to join or click the link in our show notes below.

[00:49:44] CHELSEY DONN: And don't forget. We want to hear from you hit up our voicemail box 1-850-REVIEW-0. You can also follow us on all the socials at @TheReviewQueens. Remember slide into our DMS, ask us questions, send us reviews. We love hearing from you. I'm at @ChelseyBD and that's Chelsey with the Y

[00:50:02] TREY GERRALD: And I'm at @TreyGerrald. Become a member of the Royal Court by joining our patreon at patreon.com/ReviewThatReview.

[00:50:10] CHELSEY DONN: And remember, ignore the haters. You're a Queen

[00:50:14] TREY GERRALD: gender non-specific queen! Bye

[00:50:17] CHELSEY DONN: Bye!.

[00:50:19] TREY GERRALD: I got to take this wig off!

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.



[00:50:39] CHELSEY DONN: All right, Goldie, you win.

 

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