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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 35: "Wireless Key Tracker / Manic Panic Hair Bleach"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 35: "Wireless Key Tracker / Manic Panic Hair Bleach"


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

RTR 35.1

[00:00:00] VOICEOVER: [Theme Song]

[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hello

[00:00:31] Trey Gerrald: Well, hello, Welcome to Review That Review! The podcast dedicated to reviewing

[00:00:37] Chelsey Donn: reviews. We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic, masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:49] Trey Gerrald: that's Chelsey Donn,

[00:00:51] Chelsey Donn: And that's Trey Gerrald.

[00:00:53] Trey Gerrald: and together we are.

[00:00:55] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens!

[00:00:59] Trey Gerrald: And if you want to support the show while getting bonus and exclusive content, including a members only after show podcast, visit our Patrion page at Chelsey girl, Happy Black History Month!

[00:01:16] Trey Gerrald: How's your week going?

[00:01:18] Chelsey Donn: my week is going, I was a little bit under the weather. I'm just coming out of that. So that's an exciting new chapter, hopefully. How was your week?

[00:01:28] Trey Gerrald: You know, I'm having a good week. I love, February and a Groundhog's day and all of that such, uh, also my dad's birthday is next. Yes, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was an interesting musical. Actually. I actually, David and I enjoyed Groundhog's day the musical, but a lot of people did not share that.

[00:01:47] Chelsey Donn: I actually asked my mom a couple of weeks ago, like, what's your favorite movie? And she said, groundhogs Day.

[00:01:53] Trey Gerrald: Well, you can imagine in the musical, there's like a sequence where he like wakes up on the day, like nine times in a row. So that was like a very cool theatrical to see that onstage live over. And like back to back, it was like a magic show, but my week is good. My dad's birthday is

[00:02:08] Chelsey Donn: the, I love the walking into the puddle part. Sorry. I love the puddle part.

[00:02:13] Trey Gerrald: I don't know if that's in the musical. I've never seen the movie.

[00:02:16] Chelsey Donn: You've never seen the movie. Get the hell out of here. You're getting

[00:02:20] Trey Gerrald: no Bill Murray?

[00:02:22] Chelsey Donn: Yep. Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell. That guy that's in Schitt's Creek. Rolling. Shit's

[00:02:29] Trey Gerrald: Oh,

[00:02:30] Chelsey Donn: rolling.

[00:02:31] Trey Gerrald: what's that guy's

[00:02:32] Chelsey Donn: his name.

[00:02:32] Trey Gerrald: Use my strong. And do you know what that was?

[00:02:37] Chelsey Donn: What wait. Oh, you, I don't know. Is that mean a scary movie?

[00:02:42] Trey Gerrald: It might be the second.

[00:02:43] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Scary movie tale when he has like the little, yeah. Anyway, it's like Groundhog's day here at Review That Review because once again, another week has gone by and we're going to do it. We are going to.

[00:02:57] Lodge A Complaint

[00:02:57] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint!

[00:02:58] Trey Gerrald: All right. So this week I am going to lodge a complaint against something that I'm currently at this very second struggling with, and I'm just going to acknowledge the elephant in the room.

[00:03:09] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:03:10] Trey Gerrald: I'm going to lodge a complaint against biting the inside of your mouth because I bet the inside of my lab.

[00:03:18] Trey Gerrald: Yup. It's like, not even the lab, it's like the bottom of the lip. And so I feel like it's causing me to speak in a funny, different way. Cause I'm trying to not rub against it. I'm calling that into attention in case anyone is like, what's going on with trey's lisp today.

[00:03:33] Trey Gerrald: But I really want to lodge a complaint against accidentally biting the inside of your mouth.

[00:03:38] Trey Gerrald: And it's embarrassing, but it's usually what I'm really enjoying, like food and I'm like chewing too

[00:03:46] Chelsey Donn: no.

[00:03:47] Trey Gerrald: Oh God. Anyway, it's very humiliating. It's very painful. Um, and then you have to suffer for a few days after assets recovering. And it's a constant reminder and people are like, are you, are you talking weird?

[00:04:00] Trey Gerrald: And it's like, oh yeah. Because like, I bit myself, I'm a

[00:04:03] Chelsey Donn: then, and then if you like bite it again, like you like reactivate the wound,

[00:04:08] Trey Gerrald: Have you ever done that?

[00:04:09] Chelsey Donn: Yes, I have. Course of course I have, I do have a little bit of a Trek that could help like speed the process along. I like, I mean, and I'm almost like nervous to say it on the podcast because I'm like, don't everybody run out and get them all.

[00:04:23] Chelsey Donn: So that there's none left for me. But like I swear by a hydrogen peroxide mouthwash, like it is a game changer. And like, if you just rinse with that for a few days, couple times a day, it will heal so much faster and be out of their sister. So

[00:04:41] Trey Gerrald: going to try that because that is what hydrogen peroxide was originally used as was like an oral cleanser, which is so crazy. Cause it's so like chemical-y but all right. That's a good, I'm going to write that down.

[00:04:53] Chelsey Donn: yeah. Write it down, write it down. Don't forget.

[00:04:55] Trey Gerrald: So that's my complaint. Moving on

[00:04:58] Trey Gerrald: Chelsey. What do you want to complain about?

[00:05:00] Chelsey Donn: I can't remember if I complained about this in a rehearsal or on an episode, but either way. It still sounds. So I'm going to complain again with the whole idea of repetition hold music. I can't, I just can't do it. I want to know who's responsible for this.

[00:05:16] Chelsey Donn: And I want to know why we haven't changed it. I actually appreciate when I call somewhere and they're like, the whole time is going to be two hours. Do you want us to call you back in two hours? I actually liked that because I'm like, yeah, call me back. Because if you want me to arrive at a customer service person as my best self, I'm not going to do that.

[00:05:39] Chelsey Donn: If I'm listening to. Repeat of some, like, I don't know, Beethoven Sonata, or just like a message. That's just like, thank you for calling. Some of them will be with you shortly. We really appreciate your patience as you hold. And then when you've heard that same exact message, like a hundred times, you're like, I am losing my patients stop saying that, find something new to say,

[00:06:03] Trey Gerrald: I agree there, the cyclical ness of the recordings, when that becomes transparent. That is excrutiatingly maddening.

[00:06:11] Chelsey Donn: That's some form of hell, which is why the callback, we should just all do the call to act like it's just time.

[00:06:18] Trey Gerrald: I wonder who invented that? That's such a genius. That should be a, My Royal Highness.

[00:06:22] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Oh, true. Oh, always going to exercise that option, you know,

[00:06:28] Trey Gerrald: Agreed. All right. Well, that was fun. So should we take all of this and jump into some online reviews? Chels

[00:06:35] Chelsey Donn: Please as you know, we are your trustee Review! Queens. We each bring in a review from the internet that we feel needs to be inspected.

[00:06:43] Trey Gerrald: we read you the Review!. We break it down and rate the impact of the review on a scale from one to five crowns. It is a very Regal process that.

[00:06:52] VOICEOVER: Assess that kvetch