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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 37: "Walmart / Nizam of India"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 37: "Walmart / Nizam of India"


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hi.

[00:00:32] Trey Gerrald: Oh my gosh. Hi Chelsey. And hello listeners. Welcome to Review That Review! The podcast dedicated to reviewing...

[00:00:39] Chelsey Donn: reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:51] Trey Gerrald: That's Chelsey Donn.

[00:00:53] Chelsey Donn: And that's Trey Gerrald.

[00:00:54] Trey Gerrald: And together we are

[00:00:56] VOICEOVER: The Review Queens!

[00:01:00] Trey Gerrald: To support the show while getting exclusive content, including our special members - only after show podcast. Visit our patreon page at Chelsey. How's your week going?

[00:01:14] Chelsey Donn: Hi, my week is going well. I've been busy, but in the good ways I had a bunch of auditions, which is always a thrill and a delight and Goldie is being moderately better. So that's, that's making things better in my life. How's your week.

[00:01:28] Trey Gerrald: Good. You know, it's good. It's a, we're dealing with inclement weather up here. Yeah. Some of the other coast, which

[00:01:37] Chelsey Donn: So, sorry,

[00:01:38] Trey Gerrald: I'm, I'm sure you are. Chelsey ran away from the east coast. And now she's on the west coast, which, you know, I feel like I don't know if this has ever happened, but

[00:01:47] Lodge A Complaint!

[00:01:47] Trey Gerrald: I am just going to go ahead and lodge into a compliant.

[00:01:51] Chelsey Donn: do it please.

[00:01:52] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint.

[00:01:54] Trey Gerrald: So it's been snowy and, um, I want to Lodge A Complaint.

[00:01:58] Trey Gerrald: against the difficulty with which it takes to put on and take off snow boots.

[00:02:04] Chelsey Donn: Oh, yeah. Any boot, but yes,

[00:02:06] Trey Gerrald: I actually you're right. Okay. It is sort of any boot, but I have these, like, I'm speaking specifically of the non lace up one singular hole, you know, it's also like rainy weather, sort of any sort of keeping moisture out.

[00:02:24] Chelsey Donn: Right.

[00:02:25] Trey Gerrald: I'm almost going to like YouTube videos because I don't know if I'm doing it wrong. It takes so much strength and stamina to squash my foot and pull it up over like my heel and then like yank it up so that it's straight. It's like, I don't know if it's specific to the Croc cause it's like rubbery, but.

[00:02:49] Chelsey Donn: Yeah,

[00:02:50] Trey Gerrald: And then I have like heavy duty socks on because it's cold and it Chelsey I break, this is not a joke. I break into a sweat, and it's not because the size is too small and the size is perfect. It's so hard to navigate. My little socked foot and then taking it off is such a nightmare because the first one is fine.

[00:03:09] Trey Gerrald: Cause I can like use one foot against the heel of the other to get that one off. But then I have to use my socked foot on the wet boot to get the other one off. And then it's just a nightmare. So I'm lodging a complaint against the difficulty with which it takes to put these boots on and off. Please tell me anything occurring to you.

[00:03:30] Chelsey Donn: So many things are occurring to me. What's really funny about Trey and I is that we never share our complaints with one another. Like, we both have a lot, you know, like a list that we keep, And on my list is boots. And the fact that getting out of a boot is like a full-time job.

[00:03:48] Chelsey Donn: Like, like. I swear to God, I could pull it up, show it to the page around it's on my list. I even do like a little standup bit about it. How like literally getting out of a boot. It's like, I'm fully employed. You know, if it's like my day off, I feel like I'm going to work because I need to get this boot off and I'm single.

[00:04:08] Chelsey Donn: So I don't have anybody to help me get the boot off. So I just have to do it by myself. It's not like Goldie's going to help me get the boot off. And it's a little. The zipper is helpful. Like if the boot has a zipper, then not really changes the game. But if there's just, like you said, like nose zipper, I just got to stick my foot in there.

[00:04:24] Chelsey Donn: It's something about friction, I guess maybe,

[00:04:28] Trey Gerrald: what it is. Yes.

[00:04:30] Chelsey Donn: also. If you're going to fly in a boot, never take the boot off in the air. Because if you're flying in a boot and then you take your boot off in the air, congratulations, you're going to be walking through the airport barefoot or in a sock because you're never going to get that boot back on.

[00:04:46] Chelsey Donn: So there's a lot. Yeah. There's a lot of issues that I have with boots, but I don't know how we fix it. Try a shoe horn. I don't know what we do, but that's going in. We need like

[00:04:56] Trey Gerrald: But even the shoe horn.

[00:04:58] Trey Gerrald: there's not enough space already. And It's also like, it's not because the Buddhist too small, because I do notice when I wear a thinner saw.

[00:05:09] Chelsey Donn: It's

[00:05:09] Trey Gerrald: There is space. Yeah.

[00:05:11] Trey Gerrald: There's space inside. So it's, it's really the ankle. The getting my foot through the little ankle size of the boot is what is so challenging and I'm yanking and pulling and like evolve.

[00:05:24] Trey Gerrald: That's my complaint, please. Shark tank pay attention.

[00:05:27] Chelsey Donn: I feel you. I definitely feel you.

[00:05:29] Trey Gerrald: All right. What about you.

[00:05:30] Chelsey Donn: my complaint today is about inconsistent sizing. Like when you buy multiple items, like you buy it in red, you buy it in blue, you buy it in black. And it's like, why is the black bigger than the red? It's literally the same exact product.

[00:05:49] Trey Gerrald: um,

[00:05:49] Chelsey Donn: I ordered it in the same exact window. I just picked a different color. Why is it a different size? And specifically, this has been affecting me lately with Goldie, with harnesses. I want to show Patreon a visual aid, but I get are these harnesses, which I love, like I'm a, I mean, they would be a Royal Highness if they didn't so utterly mess this up, but they're called bark appeal.

[00:06:11] Chelsey Donn: They're super easy. Some of the extra smalls that I buy Goldie, they fit perfect. Maybe even a little bit. I got the red same exact thing, same exact link. I don't know if you could tell, try the circles are so different. Do you see that?

[00:06:30] Trey Gerrald: I could see it as clear as day.

[00:06:33] Chelsey Donn: mean, it is crazy. Like the circle on the left is like, like a circle, which is like tight around Goldie is like abdomen.

[00:06:41] Chelsey Donn: And then the other circle is an oval, like a wider oval, like who did this? Who did this? How does this happen? Like she literally has the teal one on right now. Same brand, same everything. And they're both of the circles are like the oval side and it fits her. Great. What has happened?

[00:07:02] Trey Gerrald: That is the weirdest thing I've ever seen.

[00:07:04] Chelsey Donn: Right. Is it a crazy, like, I was like, I put it on her and I was like, oh my God.

[00:07:08] Chelsey Donn: Like, did Goldie get huge in between me washing the old harness and me like taking this new one out of the package. And then they looked at the two circles that I was like, this is laughable and insane. So I might have to call and actually Lodge A Complaint to the

[00:07:23] Trey Gerrald: think you should. That seems like a defect.

[00:07:26] Chelsey Donn: That it seems like something's wrong.

[00:07:28] Chelsey Donn: Like they should know, like I would be doing them a disservice if I didn't tell them. Right.

[00:07:33] Trey Gerrald: Yes. I agree.

[00:07:34] Chelsey Donn: I wonder why that happens. I don't know.

[00:07:37] Trey Gerrald: it's so illogical to me that I can't even come up with a possibility for Y I, I, it doesn't make sense. You think it's would be uniform,

[00:07:45] Chelsey Donn: exactly. Like aren't they just cutting it from a pattern or something? I don't

[00:07:48] Trey Gerrald: right? You would think.

[00:07:49] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I dunno.

[00:07:51] Trey Gerrald: All right. Well, I hear you.

[00:07:52] Chelsey Donn: Let us know listeners, let us know if you have issues with sizing or getting in and out of boots. If you have any suggestions for us, we're always open to them. 1-850-REVIEW-0.

[00:08:02] Listener Voicemail!

[00:08:02] VOICEOVER: Listener voice.

[00:08:04] Chelsey Donn: Do we have a listener?

[00:08:06] Chelsey Donn: I tee that up so well,

[00:08:07] Trey Gerrald: and that wasn't planned.

[00:08:08] Trey Gerrald: All right. So today we have our ongoing listener voicemail and I I'll take the fault. I got a little behind and, um, keeping up with all of the voicemails. Uh, and so today we have one that's regarding, our request to hear listeners new year's resolution.

[00:08:26] Trey Gerrald: So Here we are.

[00:08:28] Chelsey Donn: yay.

[00:08:28] Trey Gerrald: the week after Valentine's day.

[00:08:30] Chelsey Donn: it's totally fine. And we're completely allowed to try and keep up with the new year's resolution still. So I can't wait to hear it.

[00:08:38] Trey Gerrald: So here we got let's. Listen, this is from listener James.

[00:08:41] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Has James caught him before?

[00:08:43] Trey Gerrald: He has, yes, he hasn't heed. All right, here we go.

[00:08:46] VOICEOVER: Hey guys, just James, just listening to your nears up. And I had to press pause because I don't believe in resolutions. I don't think for me that they've ever been productive. And the same way that has goal setting workshops. Instead. I'm a big believer in setting intention because that can change every day. It can be in the moment when things feel like you need right now. And so I'm setting the intention not to make a resolution and instead to start every day focused on who and what I want to be in that day and in that moment.

[00:09:18] VOICEOVER: And so my friends. And anyway, love you guys. Happy new year.

[00:09:23] Chelsey Donn: oh, I love that so much, James.

[00:09:29] Trey Gerrald: James for president.

[00:09:30] Chelsey Donn: James for president James like said everything I would ever want to say about resolutions, but so much more eloquently. And I love as soon as James said that I got more calm when he was like, I just start each day thinking who do I want to be today for myself, for my family, for everybody.

[00:09:47] Chelsey Donn: And that really does take the pressure off.

[00:09:51] Trey Gerrald: It is interesting because after that episode, I have had a lot of conversations with people that have mentioned what the story is around the word resolution. Which is something we didn't really touch on, but there's also something they have for me as well, too. Like what is the actual commitment to maintaining a resolution versus, and James's case like the intentionality, that's something you check in with and it's attainable.

[00:10:15] Trey Gerrald: And there are guide posts with which to measure meeting your intention or not.

[00:10:21] Chelsey Donn: Yes.

[00:10:22] Trey Gerrald: sometimes our resolution can be a little more, like more fee, more fee, like hard to sort of

[00:10:27] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. And like daunting exactly hard to gauge. And yeah, I love, I love the intention cause it just feels like you get a clean slate every day, you know? Like you don't have to take, if you didn't really meet the mark yesterday, it doesn't mean you can't meet the mark today. You know, I love that.

[00:10:45] Trey Gerrald: Also something like the root word of resolution and resolve something about like I'm resolving Two, feels not free to me. And I think intentionality is like really powerful in a way, like, I, I appreciate the distinction, James, I, and I appreciate your commitment to your intentionality. And I think that if we all sort of took that on ourselves, the world would truly be a better place, you know?

[00:11:09] Chelsey Donn: It is true. And I think with that in mind, what James said to us, it allows us to put a little bit of a spin on these reviews that we're going to read today. Right? Because even if people didn't show up as their best selves, perhaps on these days, maybe they were a little bit more catchy than they should have been. They have the opportunity to rewrite that narrative tomorrow. So I liked that. I liked that as a segue in, what do you think? Should we, uh, jump into reading some online reviews? Try.

[00:11:38] Trey Gerrald: Good job, Chelsey. I love that here. Yes. I think that we shut.

[00:11:41] Chelsey Donn: All right. As you know, we are your trusty Review! Queens. We each bring in a review from the internet that we feel needs to be inspected.

[00:11:50] Trey Gerrald: We read you the Review! break it down and rate the impact of the review on a scale from one to five crowns, it is a very Regal process that we call

[00:11:59] VOICEOVER: Assess That Kvetch

[00:12:01] Chelsey Donn: That's right. And you are first today, Trey. Whoo. Take it away. RQ T.

[00:12:11] Walmart 1 Star Trustpilot Review

[00:12:11] VOICEOVER: Review That Review.

[00:12:15] Trey Gerrald: All right, everyone. So today I have a one star review from Trustpilot for.

[00:12:23] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:12:24] Trey Gerrald: Here we go. It's a biggie

[00:12:26] Chelsey Donn: no. Oh God. Okay.

[00:12:28] Trey Gerrald: Walmart

[00:12:30] Chelsey Donn: Well, my bird what's their big saying like bigger savings or is that big lots? I don't know. Sorry,

[00:12:36] Trey Gerrald: Rolling back prices or something.

[00:12:39] Chelsey Donn: them back.

[00:12:40] Trey Gerrald: I feel like they changed the slogans a lot.

[00:12:42] Chelsey Donn: Oh God.

[00:12:43] Trey Gerrald: So, this is actually written by Raynell W. They spell it R a Y N E L L w.

[00:12:53] Chelsey Donn: Raynell w okay.

[00:12:55] Trey Gerrald: And the subject is, went to Walmart yesterday to get dot dot dot.

[00:13:00] Trey Gerrald: And this is Raynell W's one star Trustpilot Review for Walmart.

[00:13:05] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:13:07] Trey Gerrald: Went to Walmart yesterday to get something for grubs. Asked a associate if they carried this product. A man that works there told her it's in automotive. I couldn't find it. Just have been out. I saw the guy coming with a Uboat, stacked with boxes and started telling him I couldn't find it. And he told me, quote, 'I don't know what you're talking about.'

[00:13:32] Trey Gerrald: I started to tell him and he says to me, and I quote, quote, 'get out of the way.' I said, 'I just want to ask you a question.' He says, quote, 'move out of the way. This is heavy!'

[00:13:48] Trey Gerrald: I boat is on wheels and he brought it up from the back of the store. I started talking to him and he said, again, quote, ' get out of the way, move out of the way!' I was pissed. I started walking and told him out loud, he's only cares about money and the customers.

[00:14:10] Trey Gerrald: He started talking and I said, quote, 'don't bother do what you're doing. Don't worry about respecting customers go about with your job.'

[00:14:22] Trey Gerrald: This was in Waterville, Maine.

[00:14:28] Chelsey Donn: Oh, my God. Okay. Raynell I'm very confused about many things that I'm going to need to unpack with you. All right.

[00:14:35] Trey Gerrald: I hope I have the

[00:14:36] Chelsey Donn: All right. What's a U boat. What's an I boat. W what is that? A spelling error.

[00:14:41] Trey Gerrald: Good job. So I think, um, I don't understand what an Ibotta is. I think that, I think that's the type of, There's a lot of

[00:14:49] Chelsey Donn: a lot of typos.

[00:14:50] Trey Gerrald: Okay. So a UBA. Is like, you know, a Dolly where you stack boxes and you wheel it around. Okay. So that's as if you would take the Dolly all the way to the ground so that it's parallel to the floor.

[00:15:03] Chelsey Donn: Take the Dolly all the way to the ground. So is there no handle?

[00:15:08] Trey Gerrald: So you have a handle on, on either end of the U boat. It's basically the shape of a capital U,

[00:15:14] Chelsey Donn: Got it. Okay. And

[00:15:16] Trey Gerrald: the bottom of the U it has wheels has four

[00:15:20] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Okay. So I

[00:15:22] Trey Gerrald: like, if you did a you and like block letters, like you're at like FSU and you have like collegic block letters. So it's like boxy then like on each corner of the bottom of the year, you have wheels, that's

[00:15:34] Trey Gerrald: a U boat.

[00:15:35] Chelsey Donn: Okay. So do we think the second time that they said I bought a man.

[00:15:40] Trey Gerrald: I think so. Like I, yeah. So I think they're trying to say like the U boat is on wheels and he brought it up from the back of the store. So why are you telling me it's heavy? You're It's on wheels.

[00:15:49] Chelsey Donn: on wheels. Okay. Well, things on wheels can still be heavy.

[00:15:52] Trey Gerrald: Yes.

[00:15:53] Chelsey Donn: So they went to Walmart for grubs.

[00:15:57] Trey Gerrald: G R U B S

[00:16:00] Chelsey Donn: I assumed at first that that meant food, but then they said that they carried the product in automotive. What product.

[00:16:08] Trey Gerrald: yeah. I have no idea. I thought, cause at first I thought grubs meant food. Then I thought maybe it was like a nickname for like a grandfather getting something for grubs, but then it's but then I looked up what are grubs.

[00:16:23] Trey Gerrald: And I'm seeing it's like a bug.

[00:16:25] Chelsey Donn: Got it. So I, I think that they meant for. I don't know why, but I write, I just feel like I went to Walmart for grubs. Like that makes sense that it's food to me. So either way, either way.

[00:16:39] Trey Gerrald: So I'm looking and I see grubs when I Google it it's larva.

[00:16:45] Chelsey Donn: Ill. I can't imagine

[00:16:48] Trey Gerrald: like you get them and your it's like insects and beetles that feed on your lawn. So maybe that would be an automotive? art towards

[00:16:57] Chelsey Donn: an automotive? I don't

[00:16:59] Trey Gerrald: I don't

[00:16:59] Chelsey Donn: That's gross. Okay. Well, the point here's the, here's the ultimate point. I think that we're making is that, I'm sorry. Raynell w but we're confused. I don't understand the message. And I also feel like there's a lot of contradiction here. Like. You only didn't they say at one way, like he only cares about money and customers and then like, he doesn't care about customers.

[00:17:24] Chelsey Donn: Like, okay. If you only cares about money and customers. Well, as long as customer is a part of that, I'm kind of okay with that, you know, like you can only care about money and customers, but I don't, but then you say that they don't care about customers.

[00:17:40] Trey Gerrald: But also at the beginning, they say, went to Walmart to get this thing, asked a associate. If they carry the product, a man that works there told her it's an automotive. So wait, what, Who so is someone writing this on.

[00:17:58] Chelsey Donn: Um,

[00:18:00] Trey Gerrald: confrontation, they say, I, I was past, I started walking and told them, so a man that works there told her?

[00:18:09] Trey Gerrald: it's an automotive.

[00:18:12] Trey Gerrald: I don't know. Also I think the glaring, like hilarity here for me is like, this person is like stocking items and like. In the middle of like pushing a heavy thing with like huge stuff on it. And you're like yelling at them to tell you where something is. Like, I understand in stores, you can flag down people that work there and stuff, but like this person is clearly in the middle of a task and you're then like mad at them.

[00:18:40] Trey Gerrald: Cause they're like, Ooh, move, move. Which I think, I don't think it's the best approach to say move. Get out of the way.

[00:18:46] Chelsey Donn: Right. Like, I, I did think that, like, it seemed like that was a little bit rude. The way that Raynell was explaining it, like move no move, like, all right. Yeah. That's not the

[00:18:57] Trey Gerrald: yeah. Yeah.

[00:18:59] Chelsey Donn: but it's like, The way that they're describing it, it almost feels like we got this like Dolly thing. We've got something really heavy on it and it's like precarious, you know what I mean?

[00:19:10] Chelsey Donn: And like Raynell is just standing there. Like, I have a question and they're like, move lady move. You're going to be like mold down by this thing. You know, like, based on all the information that Raynell is giving me, even though normally I would say like, customer's always right, you should treat the customer better than that.

[00:19:26] Chelsey Donn: I don't know if their hold of the narrative is very trustworthy. Like, do, do you like, besides the fact that it's so complicated to understand what the message even is that Raynell is trying to get across? Do you, do we trust them?

[00:19:43] Trey Gerrald: At it for me, I feel like it's a little out of touch. To request information from someone who's in the middle of a task. I recognize that that is common practice, but this person is, is moving like equipment. Um, so maybe like, say like, I have a question when you have a moment, or may I ask you a question?

[00:20:04] Trey Gerrald: Can you help me? I don't know. I feel like they're just too preoccupied with grubs and themselves.

[00:20:11] Chelsey Donn: I also like, okay, cool. Like at the end you're like this store is and whatever mean. Right. Okay, cool. I just, I'm a little bit confused. What do we hope that Trustpilot is going to do this? Review! you know what I mean? Like we weren't given enough specifics to know what is it that Walmart or this particular Walmart needs to change?

[00:20:37] Chelsey Donn: Like does corporate need to call up and just say, make sure that you're attending to customers, like, is that the end goal of. This Review!, you know what I mean? Cause I know that a lot of these stores, the experience is about the customer service, but I don't know. I just I'm I'm struggling to ascertain what the intended impact of this Review!

[00:20:58] Chelsey Donn: is.

[00:20:59] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:20:59] Trey Gerrald: And it's also interesting like that Raynell did not get the name on the badge of this person. Like, I feel like that would have been helpful for your cause. I mean, I think like, as far as value here, it feels a little like Raynell is maybe a little self-centered.

[00:21:16] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.

[00:21:17] Trey Gerrald: That's my opinion here. And I feel like, you know, if someone is in the middle of a task, like it might not be the best, but like maybe you could seek someone that's just walking around.

[00:21:26] Chelsey Donn: Is it annoying that you might have to find somebody else or go to customer service or whatever? Like, yeah, it's annoying. Like I've been in home Depot or something and ask people and they're just kind of like, sorry, I don't know. Cause they're like in the middle of doing something else and it's like, Ugh, now I have to find somebody else.

[00:21:40] Chelsey Donn: And it's like a little annoying. If the person that I'm asking is telling me is clearly doing a task and telling me that they don't have the answer to the question that I'm going to ask. I'm not going to then continue to be rate them and then make myself this like victim by yelling out, like, forget about me.

[00:21:58] Chelsey Donn: I don't know. There's something in that whole exchange for me that made me not trust the source.

[00:22:05] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. I definitely think that I can't really tell if it's truthful or if it's shady. I just think it's inappropriate. I feel like, why are you mad at someone who's like in the middle of like a very heavy job for not having the patience to be, but then I also do recognize.

[00:22:21] Trey Gerrald: But you're at work like it, like if you're on the floor, someone might ask you a question, but I don't know the spelling and grammar is Horrible. I mean, there's so many, So many misspellings. I can't even tell like who the narrator is half the time. Also, this is really interesting. I've never seen this before. They are quoting this worker many times, but there are never end quote.

[00:22:47] Chelsey Donn: well, that

[00:22:48] Trey Gerrald: Which is very, like, that's a very odd typo. And then, I mean, do you think this is common or typical? I mean, I don't think I would go up to someone pushing heavy, like a heavy U-boat of box. I wouldn't ask them. I would think that like, you know,

[00:23:04] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Like I said, like,

[00:23:05] Trey Gerrald: something.

[00:23:06] Chelsey Donn: I don't think that every person is going to like really narrow in on this one employee, who's clearly doing another job and like make them pay attention to them. Like, I, I don't think that that's common or at all indicative of really anything about this Walmart.

[00:23:21] Trey Gerrald: No.

[00:23:22] Trey Gerrald: I mean, I think ultimately the value and the fact that this the impact is like almost nothing on me as like we're missing a lot of specific details like this. Isn't going to have an impact on me. Every Walmart in the world. Also, I don't think that I would act the way that this narrator is acting. So therefore the impact again is zero.

[00:23:42] Trey Gerrald: I was entertained because there is something about the audacity of being so everyone in the sort of stop what you're doing and help me find grubs.

[00:23:50] Chelsey Donn: right, right,

[00:23:51] Trey Gerrald: something hilarious about that.

[00:23:53] Chelsey Donn: But not in like an intentional way, like not like, oh, you know, Raynell really went out. Yeah. Raynell really went out of her way to be funny. It's almost like a we're laughing at not.

[00:24:04] Trey Gerrald: Right. I'm getting a sense of how this person operates in the world.

[00:24:08] Chelsey Donn: Right. Exactly. I think I'm ready to crown this. Do you think there's anything else that we should consider?

[00:24:13] Trey Gerrald: no, I'm definitely ready to crown let's

[00:24:15] Chelsey Donn: All right, let's do it.

[00:24:16] Trey Gerrald: All right. So Chelsey and I each have our own set of one to five crown cards and in an effort to be fair and not influence one another, we will simultaneously reveal our radar.

[00:24:26] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating.

[00:24:34] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Queens are unanimous. We are both holding up half crown. I mean, I think it's pretty obvious. I didn't, I didn't feel like Raynell deserved a zero. I gave Raynell a half crown because I don't want to sign off on being mean to a customer. That's really it.

[00:24:52] Trey Gerrald: Correct.

[00:24:53] Chelsey Donn: really the only thing I could say, like, all right.

[00:24:56] Chelsey Donn: I, I agree. We shouldn't be rude. But that's it.

[00:24:59] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. I said half crown for the same reason. Like, I feel like now I have a little information that may be customer service. Isn't as great, generally in Waterville, Maine, but I don't know How many Walmarts are in Waterville, Maine. That's not really that helpful. And I also agree, like, I think like you are at work.

[00:25:18] Trey Gerrald: And so if someone's asking you, a question, like, I think there's a decorum that, but then again, who knows? I mean, so I said half crown because it's just pretty, it's pretty silly to me.

[00:25:30] Chelsey Donn: Agreed, sorry, sorry. Raynell sorry. It sounded like you were having a bad day and you know, what's great about that tomorrow you can set a new intention

[00:25:38] Trey Gerrald: new intention

[00:25:39] Chelsey Donn: and have a better day tomorrow Raynell.

[00:25:41] Trey Gerrald: Well, let's take a quick break, keep our intentions high. And when we come back, we will get into Chelsey's. Review!.

[00:25:48] Chelsey Donn: Ah, I can't wait. BRB.

[00:25:53] VOICEOVER: Hold your crown. We'll be right back.

[00:26:21] Meryl-Go-Round[00:26:21] Ad

[00:26:21] Trey Gerrald: It's game time. Chelsey, let's take a quick spin on the Meryl-Go-Round shadowy.

[00:26:25] Chelsey Donn: Yes. Yes.

[00:26:27] VOICEOVER: don't feel like an icon. Most of the days, I feel like 'I can't!' That's with an, A'..

[00:26:36] Chelsey Donn: All right. Here's the deal. Trey and I have each picked a rotten scathing, pithy One-Star-Zinger. And with 30 seconds on the clock, we will take turns, trying to recite the zinger in as many genres as possible,

[00:26:50] Trey Gerrald: Just like queen Meryl Streep, who literally does it all.

[00:26:53] Chelsey Donn: literally before the clock runs out.

[00:26:56] Trey Gerrald: All right, Chelsey, what is your zinger to.

[00:26:58] Chelsey Donn: Okay. So my zinger today, I decided to go back to a source that you and I like very much, which is good reads.

[00:27:06] Chelsey Donn: is A'.. I know it's been a little, it's been a minute, right? So this is a one-star review for the book, outliers, the story of success by Malcolm Gladwell. It is a one-star review written by mark P and the Review! is, would use this as toilet paper. If it wasn't on my Kindle,

[00:27:28] Trey Gerrald: Oh, dear,

[00:27:29] Chelsey Donn: I guess he didn't like the bug.

[00:27:31] Trey Gerrald: not. Well, in that case, Chelsey I'm in a strap you into a plunger.

[00:27:37] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God. Yes. Let's plunge this a Meryl-Go-Round I don't

[00:27:42] Trey Gerrald: make sure you sit on that appropriately. a broom

[00:27:45] Chelsey Donn: I can, I can. Yeah, exactly. I'm going to fly this plunger, like a around that. Meryl-Go-Round I am ready.

[00:27:52] Trey Gerrald: All right, here we go.

[00:27:54] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:27:55] VOICEOVER: Two, One, GO!.

[00:27:58] Chelsey Donn: Would use this as toilet paper. wasn't on my Kindle.

[00:28:02] Trey Gerrald: magic show

[00:28:05] Chelsey Donn: Hey, Brian, it wasn't on my Kindle. Oh,

[00:28:09] Trey Gerrald: game show

[00:28:12] Chelsey Donn: Paper, if it wasn't on my Kindle,

[00:28:15] Trey Gerrald: Disney, teen drama.

[00:28:25] Chelsey Donn: it wasn't on Kindle. So,

[00:28:30] Trey Gerrald: shop. You've got five.

[00:28:32] Chelsey Donn: I feel good about that. That was a long, there was a long zinger mark P right.

[00:28:37] Trey Gerrald: that was good.

[00:28:38] Chelsey Donn: Thank you. Where is your zinger from today?

[00:28:42] Trey Gerrald: Today I have a Google one star review for Swiss, miss milk chocolate K-cup hot cocoa 22 count box. And this is written by Q X S

[00:28:57] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:28:58] Trey Gerrald: Q axis. Cute, cute. Cute. There's no Q axis

[00:29:03] Chelsey Donn: QX.

[00:29:04] Trey Gerrald: and the subject is no thanks. And the Review! is. Honestly, this is like a laxative.

[00:29:12] Chelsey Donn: Wait, it's off. It's a rod job late. Like, but it's a laxative. Okay. All right. We're very toil. Look at this. Like we're again

[00:29:22] Trey Gerrald: Oh my

[00:29:22] Chelsey Donn: sync with our toilet humor. Okay. Try. I know. Isn't that weird. All right. I'm going to hook you into a toilet paper roll, but I want you to be in the center of it. So like your cushioned, your cushioned, all around, you know, in case the Meryl-Go-Round gets jerky, like you're, you're extra prepared.

[00:29:42] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:29:43] Trey Gerrald: I love that. Thank you. I feel so Safe

[00:29:46] Chelsey Donn: inside your Sharman. All right, let's do it. Are you ready?

[00:29:50] Trey Gerrald: I'm ready? Here we go.

[00:29:51] Chelsey Donn: Yes.

[00:29:52] VOICEOVER: Three, Two, One, GO!.

[00:29:56] Chelsey Donn: opera.

[00:29:57] Trey Gerrald: Honestly, this is laxative.

[00:30:03] Chelsey Donn: Yeah,

[00:30:04] Trey Gerrald: Honestly,

[00:30:07] Chelsey Donn: opera dealer. Adult film.

[00:30:16] Trey Gerrald: honestly, this is like a laxative, honestly.

[00:30:26] Chelsey Donn: All right, I'm going to give that to you. That's five. Did I get five to,

[00:30:30] Trey Gerrald: Yes, Ty's he's

[00:30:32] Chelsey Donn: it's high. The Queens. Are you not a amiss? I, again, look at that.

[00:30:40] Nizam of India 1 Star Review

[00:30:40] VOICEOVER: Review That Review.

[00:30:44] Trey Gerrald: Yay.

[00:30:45] Trey Gerrald: We are back from that rousing game break. Can't not say rousing anymore. And now Chelsey. It is your turn. What is your Review! for us?

[00:30:53] Chelsey Donn: So this week I have a Yelp review for the restaurant Nizam of India. Uh, it is a restaurant located in Los Angeles. This is a one-star review written by Real D I mean, I don't know. You should have seen anything with what the D stands for, but, you guys can tell me after we read the Review!, here we go.

[00:31:21] Chelsey Donn: I'm sorry. I've given this place too many chances. I feel like I need to rate it one start because I am sick and tired of getting hair in my goddamn food from this place. It is always the same one long, one long, very long piece of white hair. I found one in my lamb beer Yana last year. Let it slide ordered a lamb biryani again, the next time I went and there was another goddamn silver hair, I then enforced a six month ban on the establishment, which kind of ended today since I decided to give them a chance and order something.

[00:32:22] Chelsey Donn: And the first goddamn dish I get lamb. Berra masala has a goddamn silver hair. It in w

[00:32:40] Chelsey Donn: WTF?! WTMF?!

[00:32:46] Chelsey Donn: No, those aren't days of the f-ing week. I'm so goddamn mad at this place and their goddamn hygiene. Don't believe me. Go and see for yourself, order something. Anything I guarantee you, there will be a long white, silver hair in your dish F this place seriously.

[00:33:22] Chelsey Donn: Goddamn

[00:33:24] Trey Gerrald: wait.

[00:33:24] Chelsey Donn: Real D.

[00:33:26] Trey Gerrald: How do they

[00:33:27] Chelsey Donn: roll

[00:33:28] Trey Gerrald: How do they spell goddamn?

[00:33:30] Chelsey Donn: good question. I mean, they, they really like went for the full, they it's one word G O D D a M N one word.

[00:33:39] Trey Gerrald: It's funny to me that they'll say goddamn, but they won't say fuck.

[00:33:42] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. And they, and then they spell out effing, eff I N G. Uh, thing week.

[00:33:48] Trey Gerrald: also funny to me, cause I was writing notes and like I wrote WTF then w T M F and then I was like, I was like, Oh it looks like the weeks of the calendar. And then literally, no, not the weeks of days of the week.

[00:34:02] Chelsey Donn: are days, of the f-ing week

[00:34:05] Trey Gerrald: What does w T M F stand for? What the mother

[00:34:10] Chelsey Donn: mother. Yeah.

[00:34:12] Trey Gerrald: is that even a say.

[00:34:14] Chelsey Donn: According to the Real D it is. It's not a saying that I've heard. I mean, obviously WTF, but like no WTM if I haven't heard, but I do like, think it's

[00:34:25] Trey Gerrald: I think I'm going to take that into my life.

[00:34:27] Chelsey Donn: yeah. I like it. What do you think of that commitment to the word goddamn. I mean, should, should I count quickly?

[00:34:33] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, Why don't you add it up?

[00:34:34] Chelsey Donn: I'm going to add.

[00:34:35] Trey Gerrald: You know, I grew up very Christian and saying goddamn was. Explicitly off the table. It was like, so inappropriate to say that. And now that I'm an adult and I've experienced other truths in my life than truth I was told to believe are true. I feel like it's just a word and where it's only half the meaning you apply to them.

[00:35:00] Trey Gerrald: I don't think it's that big of a deal, but I am a clutching my pearls that I'm just scrolling through Yelp. And this person is saying goddamn that many times about a restaurant.

[00:35:09] Chelsey Donn: 5 times

[00:35:11] Trey Gerrald: a lot.

[00:35:13] Chelsey Donn: like a row, not like a super long Review!, you know what I mean? Like I felt like I was saying the word a lot and I agree, like, you know, I'm not super religious, but we didn't say that.

[00:35:23] Trey Gerrald: How do you spell God? Do you say, do you do a dash like

[00:35:27] Chelsey Donn: I don't spell it out. I do dash or I do the lowercase, which I appreciate that actually the Real D did do the lowercase. They didn't do the upper case G when they were saying the name in vain. So, you know, I appreciate that.

[00:35:43] Trey Gerrald: Well, we're already on this topic. So what is the spelling lag?

[00:35:47] Chelsey Donn: it's not all bad, but I really did try to lean in to the mistakes, you know, silver hair it in.

[00:35:55] Trey Gerrald: It's funny to me because the color of the hair was described three different ways throughout the reveal. Did she catch.

[00:36:03] Chelsey Donn: no. Tell

[00:36:04] Trey Gerrald: White then they said silver. Then they said silver, white or white silver. Cause at first I like, who a white hair? And then the next time they were like silver. And then at, by the end they say both, you know, I think that for me. the value in this information is like, you know, it is disgusting to find hair. or anything in your food that doesn't blossom.

[00:36:26] Trey Gerrald: That's disgusting. I think that I personally don't write things off necessarily because I'm sort of like, oh, that's really gross. Like I have to forget about this, but then the fact that it seems like such a repeat experience. I do like truthful shady scale here. I kind of am believing Real D cause they're so upset about it.

[00:36:46] Trey Gerrald: And at a certain point it's just incredulous that this keeps happening.

[00:36:50] Chelsey Donn: Right. It's just like weird that it's the same kind of like, is there just like one person working in the kitchen who is making all the dishes that Real D

[00:37:01] Trey Gerrald: With no hair net.

[00:37:02] Chelsey Donn: over? Yeah. With no hairnet over. A lot. It's like a long period of time. I love that they enforced a six month

[00:37:11] Trey Gerrald: just gonna that. It's very funny to me when you're speaking about your own personal choices, you say in forced a

[00:37:18] Chelsey Donn: yeah, yes. Yeah. Like they stopped and then they went back and then they enforced the other

[00:37:24] Trey Gerrald: But to that point, if, Real D was creating a band for themselves and they say, which, you know, for six months, which more or less ended Right. now, and then there's hair in it, like, of course you would be saying GD. And of course you'd be like, w T M F like, are you kidding me?

[00:37:42] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I mean, what's interesting to me is that. Real D clearly loves the food at this restaurant so much

[00:37:51] Trey Gerrald: point

[00:37:52] Chelsey Donn: that they ordered the, this like dish.

[00:37:55] Trey Gerrald: and they're having this high of an emotional reaction. Yeah,

[00:37:59] Chelsey Donn: they love, they clearly love the food at this restaurant and they're so angry that they don't get to enjoy food because of this hair issue. We got to get hairnets back there. It looks like from the pictures, like it looks like a really nice restaurant and the overall score. You know, still relatively high.

[00:38:22] Chelsey Donn: So this could just be like bad luck, I guess, for Real D

[00:38:27] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, I don't know, but there is an impact for me.

[00:38:30] Chelsey Donn: there's definitely an impact and it definitely feels like this Review! is coming from someone who is passionate

[00:38:38] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.

[00:38:38] Chelsey Donn: about the restaurant.

[00:38:40] Trey Gerrald: I mean, I think I could crown rail. D how are you feeling?

[00:38:43] Chelsey Donn: I just like, wonder to myself, if I read this Review!. And I was considering going to this restaurant, would it gross me out enough to not go? I guess that's what I'm, I'm thinking about. Like, I don't know. What do you think?

[00:38:59] Trey Gerrald: I think it's going to come up in my crowning cause I,

[00:39:02] Chelsey Donn: Okay.

[00:39:03] Trey Gerrald: happened weighing that.

[00:39:04] Chelsey Donn: All right. Let's get to the goddamn crowning challis.

[00:39:07] Trey Gerrald: All right, here we go.

[00:39:10] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating.

[00:39:18] Chelsey Donn: Okay. Interesting. I was, I was kind of torn. Trey is holding up four crowns. I'm holding up three and a half crowns. Try, let me know why you're giving the Real D or Real D four crowns.

[00:39:32] Trey Gerrald: I almost did three and a half, but I have a hard time with math and I can't remember what is actually middle of the road. And so then I just went with four because ultimately I think if I was reading the survey. I don't like the vulgarity, even though it is funny, like, and it's funny for us to discuss it and stuff.

[00:39:49] Trey Gerrald: Like, I just think it is unnecessary. I think you can show you're so passionate with, you know, at signs and like pound cetera. Like, it just feels a little, like you're a little out of touch. Like what's wrong with you that you're this angry, but to the point you just made like, Realty is very passionate about this food.

[00:40:08] Trey Gerrald: It is that good that they are enforcing a ban because they're so disappointed they can't enjoy it. And then they let up on the band. Cause it's so good. And then there's hair again. So to me, I feel like this is maybe a common experience. At least it has been for real. I think they are a little bit trustworthy.

[00:40:24] Trey Gerrald: Cause they're so impassioned, you know, it's just that all they're being critical about is like, why are there not hairnets that are catching hair? That's the only criticism here. And so for that reason, say four, because it would have impact that I think I might not want to go there. What about you? Why did you do three and a half?

[00:40:44] Chelsey Donn: I did three and a half. I mean, I agree with everything that you said. I took off the one and a half pound for a couple of reasons. One, the spelling and grammar. Of course, there were a few errors, so we didn't. A perfect score there. I love, I mean, I did laugh at it. I think if I read this Review! to friends, like we would get a chuckle out of it.

[00:41:03] Chelsey Donn: So that's where, you know, some of the extra points came from. But my biggest takeaway that I'm wondering, because it wasn't brought up in this review is if you had a silver hair, In your food with this much regularity, why are we not talking to the restaurant about it? Right. Like why, if I had a hair in my food, like one time, two times, like whatever it is, I feel like I would, at that point, like forgot the Review!.

[00:41:28] Chelsey Donn: I would have a conversation. And because nowhere in the Review! does Real DSA, I spoke to them about it and they didn't do anything. Or I spoke to them about it and they didn't even give me a refund or whatever it is. Like they didn't address that they did their due date. You know, to let the restaurant know that there was hair in their food and for that reason, a little sauce, but funny and enjoyed going through it with you.

[00:41:55] Chelsey Donn: So for that reason, three and a half grounds.

[00:41:57] Trey Gerrald: think that's fair for sure. I hope that they get hair nuts over there,

[00:42:01] Chelsey Donn: me G is long white, silver,

[00:42:04] Trey Gerrald: regardless. It doesn't It's too much.

[00:42:07] Chelsey Donn: hair.

[00:42:07] My Royal Highness

[00:42:07] Trey Gerrald: All right. My queen. Well, we have the most Regal portion of our show. Chelsey, please tell us, who are you going to induct this week for?

[00:42:19] VOICEOVER: My Royal Highness

[00:42:21] Chelsey Donn: you for asking Trey. So this week I was thinking, you know what? Don't we appreciate enough in our, I want to say the like Rocko's modern life. The Amazon.

[00:42:34] Trey Gerrald: modern life.

[00:42:35] Chelsey Donn: In our modern life. And I was thinking seatbelts, you know, like we had to induct seatbelts, what did we do before seatbelts? Like,

[00:42:45] Trey Gerrald: We died.

[00:42:45] Chelsey Donn: movies, we died, you know, when you watch movies and you like, see kids in the seventies and stuff and cars without belts, or, you know, So jarring, can, yeah, I can imagine, like even when I get in an Uber, when I get anywhere, the first thing that I do is put my seatbelt on.

[00:43:04] Chelsey Donn: And so that got me thinking a little bit, you know, I'm not quite as much of a research queen as you are, but I was wanting to know where did the. Come from how did this happen? And apparently in 1959, the seatbelt did hit the market through Volvo. interestingly enough, so I think Volvo was the first car company to implement seatbelt.

[00:43:26] Chelsey Donn: And from the year 1975 to 2017, 374,276 lives have been saved. Because of seatbelts, which is, you know, pretty incredible. Uh, and I just wanted to give a quick nod to seatbelts. Thank you for saving lives. Thank you for keeping us safe. And so seat belts, your, My Royal Highness this week.

[00:43:55] Trey Gerrald: really good. One Chelsey. Wow.

[00:43:57] Chelsey Donn: Thank you. Yeah. Right. Something we don't think.

[00:44:00] Trey Gerrald: Have you ever been in a car wreck?

[00:44:02] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God. We'll talk about this in Patreon. I've never thank God. Knock on all the wood. I've never personally been in a car accident, but I've been in the car during an accident. And that's all I'll say about that for now. We can talk about the rest of the Patriot.

[00:44:17] Trey Gerrald: Okay.

[00:44:17] Chelsey Donn: How about you?

[00:44:18] Trey Gerrald: Ken Hora. Well, I think this'll be a fun topic for a pitcher on, but, um,

[00:44:22] Chelsey Donn: right.

[00:44:23] Trey Gerrald: I have an interesting one. I once was, um, T-boned by a, um, industrial sized, uh, lawn mower

[00:44:32] Chelsey Donn: Oh, stop it. Are you kidding?

[00:44:35] Trey Gerrald: It's a crazy story.

[00:44:37] Chelsey Donn: in South Carolina?

[00:44:39] Trey Gerrald: It was actually in the outer banks and it was actually an infrastructure problem. They had the crosswalk before the stop sign and the, and it was like a highway. It wasn't.

[00:44:51] Chelsey Donn: have a crosswalk before a stop sign? Anyway.

[00:44:55] Trey Gerrald: they I'm sure they don't know. And also the lawnmower person was driving on the crosswalk, which is illegal.

[00:45:03] Trey Gerrald: I didn't know. Uh, and they had the cutter up, like it was up like a letter P and it literally went into the high and the driver's driving, it, went into the

[00:45:17] Chelsey Donn: it was inside of your car.

[00:45:19] Trey Gerrald: stabbed through it. Um, and there was an impact, like it was a whole

[00:45:23] Chelsey Donn: That is so like, thank God it was on that side, you know, because, oh

[00:45:29] Trey Gerrald: it would have stopped me.

[00:45:30] Chelsey Donn: yeah. Oh my so scary.

[00:45:32] Trey Gerrald: what is that word? I guess that's like a John Deere is like a brand, but you know, it's like th they were cutting the grass on the side of the streets.

[00:45:41] Chelsey Donn: serious.

[00:45:43] Trey Gerrald: Yes. I'll tell you more about that on the after show. Speaking of here we are. Good, great induction. Thank you. seatbelts.

[00:45:52] Trey Gerrald: And Thank you. listeners for joining us. That is a, another round on the argue a seatbelt at our cue Ferris wheel of love life. Laughter goddamn Walmart. U-boats.

[00:46:03] Chelsey Donn: Click at our ticket. Okay. Thank you for joining. Thank you so much for joining us today. If you like what you heard, please do us a favor and tell us.

[00:46:13] Trey Gerrald: If you didn't like what you heard, please do us a favor and tell an enemy. Join our mailing list at to stay up to date with the goings on in The Queens.

[00:46:23] Chelsey Donn: and like James' head up our voicemail box 1-850-REVIEW-0. You can also follow us on all the socials at the Review! Queens. I'm at @ChelseyBD and that's Chelsey with a Y.

[00:46:36] Trey Gerrald: And I'm at @TreyGerrald and that's Gerrald with two RS

[00:46:40] On Today's After Show Pod

[00:46:40] Trey Gerrald: on today's after show Pod. We're going to dive deep in our conversations about car accidents and we will be rating and reviewing a three star review from Yelp for the Spencer's Gifts at Carolina Place Mall in Charlotte, North Carolina. So

[00:47:02] Chelsey Donn: many memories, so many

[00:47:04] Trey Gerrald: exactly.

[00:47:05] Trey Gerrald: So to find out what made Chelsey say.

[00:47:08] Chelsey Donn: Alexis. It's not like a Barbie doll head. We can't just snap it back on, like it's off and find out what made Trey say,

[00:47:17] Trey Gerrald: Did you have a Cool City Kitty?

[00:47:19] Chelsey Donn: Then join our patreon Page at to hear our special members only after show podcast.

[00:47:29] NEXT WEEK IS EPIC

[00:47:29] Trey Gerrald: Oh, and quick little Tease.

[00:47:33] Trey Gerrald: Next week's episode is one for the books. Just, you wait, you're going to lose your minds.

[00:47:42] Chelsey Donn: oh my God. You guys like a literal celebrity.

[00:47:45] Chelsey Donn: That's all. I'm going to tease.

[00:47:46] Trey Gerrald: And remember!

[00:47:48] Chelsey Donn: Ignore the haters. You can start over every day. You're a queen.

[00:47:53] Trey Gerrald: a start of a everyday gender non-specific queen.

[00:47:57] Chelsey Donn: Of course! Bye!

[00:48:01] Trey Gerrald: Bye!

Review That Review is an independent podcast. Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty. Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by me with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky. Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.

[00:48:18] Trey Gerrald: GODDAMN!

[00:48:20] Chelsey Donn: I was gonna say, do you think that the Review would be way different if each time they said like, gosh, durn it?



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