Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 41: "Sunless Tanner / Alcatraz Island"
*Please Pardon any spelling errors!
THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.
Every Californian and Virginian.
It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.
Someone's gotta settle the score.
Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!
Whose views win, which ones lose.
Online haters are comin' for you!
Baby, it's time to Review That Review!
[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hi
[00:00:31] Trey Gerrald: Well, hello, welcome to Review That. Review the podcast dedicated to reviewing
[00:00:38] Chelsey Donn: reviews. We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic, masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.
[00:00:49] Trey Gerrald: that's Chelsey Donn,
[00:00:51] Chelsey Donn: And that's Trey Gerrald.
[00:00:53] Trey Gerrald: and together we are.
[00:00:55] VOICEOVER: The
[00:00:55] VOICEOVER: Review Queens.
[00:00:59] Trey Gerrald: To support our show while getting a bonus exclusive content, including our exciting members. Only after show podcast, visit our patreon at patreon.com/ReviewThatReview Chelsey. I don't see you wearing green it's St. Patrick's day, week. I'm going to have to pinch you from New York all the way over to LA.
[00:01:23] Chelsey Donn: It's laundry day. I don't know what to say. I guess all, all my green clothes are dirty. You'll have to forgive me.
[00:01:31] Trey Gerrald: Have you ever heard of that? The pinching on St. Patrick's day?
[00:01:33] Chelsey Donn: No, I don't know. I'm a Jew. My, I got my cheeks pinched and stuff all the time by my grandmother. Is it similar to that?
[00:01:40] Trey Gerrald: No. So this is like a thing, like if you don't wear green on St Patrick's day, then you can be pinched. I don't know.
[00:01:48] Trey Gerrald: If that's like a Southern thing, I don't know where that came from. But growing up, if you didn't wear green on St. Patrick's day, you would get pinched.
[00:01:56] Chelsey Donn: By like strangers
[00:01:58] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. Anyone can paint. This is completely new to you.
[00:02:01] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, I guess, you know what I was thinking, like when I was little, it was all about the Shamrock shake at McDonald's. Did you have the Shamrock shake growing up?
[00:02:11] Trey Gerrald: I've heard of it. I've never had it.
[00:02:13] Chelsey Donn: I think basically a vanilla shake with green food coloring, but it was great. Maybe there was a little mint moment.
[00:02:19] Chelsey Donn: I can't remember. And then, you know, obviously in college we would go to like an Irish pub. So I think in accordance to the celebration I would participate, you know, so I don't, maybe I was just never caught without a green shirt on until right now.
[00:02:34] Trey Gerrald: I do know the Jews have been oppressed by everyone, but have, has Ireland ever specifically been antagonistic to Jews? Like I wonder if Jewish culture, you just don't really celebrate St. Patrick's day as
[00:02:46] Chelsey Donn: Well, it is a Saint, right?
[00:02:49] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. St. Patrick.
[00:02:50] Chelsey Donn: So it's not particularly Jewish though. I can't, I can't speak to the anti-Semitism of it all. Unfortunately. Anyway,
[00:02:59] Trey Gerrald: interesting time.
[00:03:01] Chelsey Donn: I know. How was your week otherwise?
[00:03:04] Trey Gerrald: My birthday was last week, so I had a fantastic birthday. It's very exciting to be in this new age. I just feel so much more intelligent and I feel so much more lived livid. Let know well li live at live ed life. I'm very wise. Now I'm giving out life consultations for people I'm so livid living in.
[00:03:29] Chelsey Donn: but not to be confused with livid as in mad.
[00:03:32] Trey Gerrald: Well, I think there's a small level of limitedness. That's always vibrating internally for me,
[00:03:37] Chelsey Donn: Oh, wow. We'll work on
[00:03:38] Trey Gerrald: even live more live ad with an E I know the E S substitution is difficult because I'm Southern already to begin with and I'm making it even worse. rec I recognized,
[00:03:49] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. It is interesting how suddenly it's like your birthday and then you're like, I'm so much older, you know, like really nothing's changed
[00:03:56] Trey Gerrald: just a day, one more day yesterday.
[00:03:58] Chelsey Donn: one more day.
[00:03:59] Trey Gerrald: But how was your how's your life?
[00:04:01] Chelsey Donn: Miley was good. I had a friend visiting from out of town from New York who I hadn't seen, you know, since right. Like immediately before the apocalypse.
[00:04:10] Chelsey Donn: So it was nice to see her. Yeah. We, uh, splurged on a couple of nice dinners and I drove downtown, which I vowed never to do, you know, but we, we all.
[00:04:21] Trey Gerrald: be doing that.
[00:04:22] Chelsey Donn: I know I'm going to be doing that very shortly. Yeah. There are rare exceptions to my no downtown role, but very close friends and podcasts conventions are amongst
[00:04:35] Trey Gerrald: The
[00:04:35] Chelsey Donn: the exceptions.
[00:04:37] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. So my week was good
[00:04:39] Lodge A Complaint!
[00:04:39] Chelsey Donn: and I feel like we've already discussed that there's livid newness within you. Trey, do you have a complaint you want to Lodge?
[00:04:46] Trey Gerrald: I really, really need to
[00:04:49] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint.
[00:04:50] Trey Gerrald: today because, uh, and this is going to get a little dark and heavy. We usually, these are silly, but I recently listened to two separate podcasts. Well, one was a multi-part series. It was four episodes. Each episode was about two and a half hours. And then I listened to an individual while I'm thinking like, there's no need, like, I don't need to like keep listening to this case.
[00:05:11] Trey Gerrald: Another one that was three hours long today. I want to Lodge A Complaint about why have we not solved the JonBenet Ramsey? I'm livid about this. so clear that we aren't being told the full information and lightheartedness aside, it has become like one of the highest profile, true crime cases in the United States of America.
[00:05:34] Trey Gerrald: It within hours, became tabloid fodder. And I don't understand why we haven't solved. The Boulder police department on many instances have eliminated any sort of suspect that is not inside of the family. And the family was very influential, very huge donors and the city town of Boulder. So I think all fingers are pointing to very specific individuals that are not outside intruders.
[00:06:06] Trey Gerrald: And I just think this was a little child. Who is deserving of justice and every single day that this case is not solved. It is a mockery to the justice system of the United States of America. Now back to levity, like I don't think it will ever be solved I'm mad about it. We need to solve the JonBenet Ramsey case.
[00:06:26] Trey Gerrald: Is there no justice? Insane. I know it's a little departure from our comedy podcast, but I'm mad about it. I've also, I've also inundated myself with so much about it. So that's why it's very ripe and fresh.
[00:06:40] Chelsey Donn: It's the front of the
[00:06:41] Trey Gerrald: But I do think that like JonBenet, Ramsey, just the name has a little bit of like pop culture levity.
[00:06:48] Trey Gerrald: And I think that that's inappropriate. The case needs to be solved. I'm lodging that complaint officially. It's in the box.
[00:06:54] Chelsey Donn: Wow, loud and clear. I hear you. I agree. I've I've also watched a documentary, the whole thing with the pineapple, all of that. I've seen it all. There's many theories. I just think like in general, and again, we're not going to get too deep into this because that's not the point of the show. JonBenet Ramsey's cases, very front and center, but there are so many cases out there that have not been solved.
[00:07:16] Chelsey Donn: That be that we feel like there's no evidence out there that is just blatantly obvious. And whether it be because of financial, social, racial influence, these cases are being sidelined. This one has obviously been sidelined for a long time, but there are plenty of other cases that have been sidelined as well.
[00:07:36] Chelsey Donn: And maybe not given the proper. Yeah, profiled and, and like judicial due diligence that it deserves. So I think that's like a larger complaint I can definitely get behind is like, what is going on and why are we allowed to have this kind of corruption in our, our, uh, legal system,
[00:07:55] Trey Gerrald: Fair
[00:07:57] Chelsey Donn: but that's a whole nother discussion.
[00:07:58] Trey Gerrald: of who now I want to ask you, I'm really hoping that you have something very funny and silly. Like what's your, what's your complaint
[00:08:06] Chelsey Donn: yeah. Yeah. Mine is much lighter, I think. But it's equally as anger invoking for me, it's really like, okay, listen, I'm going to say anything that's automatic that doesn't serve its cause like a paper towel dispenser, a soap dispenser, a sink that works on automatic. Why don't you do your job? Like, I like you kind of like a water thing.
[00:08:31] Chelsey Donn: For example, they never leave it on for long enough for me to do my full, happy birthday, get good scrub, a dub going then the same turns off. I got to play a game with the saying like, oh, I'm a new hand. You know, they never give me a paper towel. That's long enough that I need, why is this supposed to be a convenience?
[00:08:52] Chelsey Donn: And it's such an incomplete.
[00:08:53] Trey Gerrald: I have a question for you. Literally, this happened to me on Saturday. I was thinking I was using one of those, um, automatic soap dispensers at a store. And I always go back for a second.
[00:09:05] Chelsey Donn: Yeah.
[00:09:06] Trey Gerrald: So then I actually was thinking, why do I, I don't know how much is in this one square.
[00:09:10] Trey Gerrald: Why do I always go back for a second automatic squirt of soap? Do I think the first squirt is not sufficient because I do think that the water they're always erring on the side of PR preservation. So it's not enough water. It's never enough paper towel. I need, I need to put my hands under three times for paper towels and that still like my hands are down.
[00:09:32] Chelsey Donn: I just wish that it would like stay off. As long as my hands are under it. Like, I don't need to be water. You know, I just want to get the job done. I just don't understand why you're stopping in the
[00:09:45] Trey Gerrald: Wait, that's a great point. You know, like on water fountains, where they have the water bottle ones, those remained for the entire length that your water bottle is on the sensor. Why does, why does sinks
[00:09:56] Chelsey Donn: clearly the technology
[00:09:59] Trey Gerrald: Oh my God.
[00:10:00] Chelsey Donn: mean, even as soap could technically be like that, right? Like if I'm going to leave my hand under here for as long as my hands under there, you give me the.
[00:10:07] Trey Gerrald: Wait, that's how those, that's how those hand dryers work. So why don't the paper towel ones work that way?
[00:10:13] Chelsey Donn: exactly, exactly. Like it. Doesn't. Thank you. It doesn't make any sense that we're like timing this all and then the word, I mean, it's it's okay. The automatic ones are only a step up. You know, those faucets that you have to like push the button and then it goes really fast. So it's like, you got to like push the button, which may be dirty and I'm going to wash my hands and then, oh, no, I have to push the button again.
[00:10:36] Chelsey Donn: Like now I've got to get the elbow involved. It's just come on. Shark tank.
[00:10:41] Trey Gerrald: I also think the whole automated bathroom sink. So the paper towel situation is always defeated. And this once again, constantly, I go back to these the 1994, Alan degenerate, standup, but it's like, then you instantly put your hand on the doorknob handle and then right back to the bar goes into the bowl of
[00:10:59] Chelsey Donn: right, right,
[00:11:01] Trey Gerrald: need to, like, it needs to be the doorknob. Cause I don't know that the person before me who touched the doorknob wash their hands. So it's like instantly defeated anywhere.
[00:11:09] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. They have like pedal door openers where you can like kick. Yeah. Like we should also have
[00:11:15] Trey Gerrald: no, but that's such a good button in Europe. That's what the plumbing systems like in order to get water, you didn't use your hands, you pedaled the, then the water comes out.
[00:11:25] Trey Gerrald: That happens. all over Italy. Why don't we do that in
[00:11:29] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. That's a good point. I wouldn't even need the automatic thing if I could just use my foot. Maybe that's ablest.
[00:11:36] Listener Voicemail!
[00:11:36] VOICEOVER: Listener voicemail.
[00:11:38] Trey Gerrald: Chelsey surprise.
[00:11:40] Chelsey Donn: Oh, my, I didn't even know we had a voicemail. Seriously. This is so exciting.
[00:11:44] Trey Gerrald: just added it to the script moments before,
[00:11:48] Chelsey Donn: Wow. How exciting. Okay. Let's
[00:11:51] Trey Gerrald: I'm wondering if we need to subtitle our podcasts to, um, the world of James, because we have another voice.
[00:11:57] Chelsey Donn: Is Jay was back.
[00:11:59] Trey Gerrald: Different James, but another James who has contacted us before,
[00:12:04] Chelsey Donn: Oh, okay.
[00:12:05] Trey Gerrald: are there any less centers that aren't named? James? If you are listening, your name is not James.
[00:12:10] Trey Gerrald: Leave us a voicemail. 1-850-REVIEW-0. And if you are one of the James that leaves us voicemails, leave us another one. Cause we love you guys. Here is another voicemail from a different James who has also left a voicemail. James' voicemail listener James' voicemail, James
[00:12:26] Chelsey Donn: James, James, but not the James from the James that was before the James. That
[00:12:30] Trey Gerrald: The other James James,
[00:12:32] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Got it.
[00:12:33] VOICEOVER: Hey Queens. it. is James calling from LA. This is my second time calling. And I have got to tell you about when a hundred flowers. I agree with all of the ones are views. I actually sent flowers to my mom once for mother's day. It's confirmed that it's going to be delivered on Saturday. Saturday comes. It's not delivered.
[00:12:51] VOICEOVER: I'm calling, I'm calling. When's it going to be delivered? Oh, it's going to be delivered on Sunday on actual mother's day. Don't worry. Don't worry. Mother's day comes mom or the flowers there? Nope, no flowers Monday. I didn't even give him a chance. I asked refund I'll never use 1-800-FLOWERS ever, ever again.
[00:13:10] Trey Gerrald: Wow. That really flipped.
[00:13:12] Chelsey Donn: Wow. Hope you're well, James that's, I mean, I'm glad to hear it. Like we said, it's important for us to hear from you guys. If you have differing or analogous experiences to our reviewers, it just helps us to, you know, really hone in on the A'.. The truth. So thank you, James, for letting us know, we'll take that in mind.
[00:13:32] Chelsey Donn: I did send you try flowers before that episode aired like James, I sort of wanted a field study, so I wanted to see it besides just wanting to send you flowers. I also wanted to see, like, will they be late? What's going to happen. It was around Valentine's day. So I was like, this is a good test.
[00:13:51] Trey Gerrald: What was the experience for you as the sender? Cause that's the receiver. It was wonderful.
[00:13:55] Chelsey Donn: Oh good. My experience is the center was pretty easy. I had to select Friday and not actual Valentine's day because it was cheaper for whatever reason to do it that way. So like half the price cheaper. So I did that. The only thing that I will say is I saw the photo that you posted of the flowers, and it honestly nothing like the flowers that I ordered and that, that would be.
[00:14:20] Chelsey Donn: The biggest complaint.
[00:14:22] Trey Gerrald: It's funny, you point that out because literally the next day they looked entirely.
[00:14:27] Chelsey Donn: Oh, really? Oh,
[00:14:28] Trey Gerrald: I think whatever is in those little packets, I actually like had a whole thought process. I never even mentioned this to you because I almost wanted to repost a picture whatever's in that concoction. And also, I guess the water, you know, the flowers were without water for however long, the time was, but they looked crisp, beautiful perky.
[00:14:49] Trey Gerrald: The water was crystal clear. Like they looked entirely different the next
[00:14:52] Chelsey Donn: The next day. Oh, interesting. Where they, where they more colorful and vibrant. Okay, good. Cause they were like so beautiful and vibrant in the photo and then you posted it. And I was like, that's all like hideous. It just seems like a totally different color palette than what was advertised.
[00:15:11] Trey Gerrald: noticed all of that myself. I will say the I'm getting them earlier than Valentine's day was so much more fun. So interesting because I often am sending things through one, a hundred flowers for specific dates, which is always like, you know, it's like a little like surge pricing or whatever, but I'm now recognizing it was more fun to get it earlier.
[00:15:30] Trey Gerrald: Cause it really was unexpected. And I literally was like Davidson these to me cause we'd had an argument. so, but now it was my work wife.
[00:15:38] Chelsey Donn: that's right.
[00:15:40] Trey Gerrald: I had one experience. That's exactly what happened with James here, but it was going key west and the logo. The address was a little complicated because it's in the middle of a block.
[00:15:49] Trey Gerrald: So, so I felt like it was that circumstance, not really one, a hundred but I also had to be proactive. No one was like taking care of me. I had to be contacting to figure it out, which I feel like James ultimately was like, whatever. But the most upsetting thing is you then have to reveal to the recipient.
[00:16:06] Trey Gerrald: Did they come? That's the most upsetting part. Cause then the surprise has gone
[00:16:10] Chelsey Donn: Right.
[00:16:10] Chelsey Donn: Totally
[00:16:11] Trey Gerrald: cause they're not there. So James, we appreciate you. Thank you for being such a solid supporter. Literally from before the podcast, premier James has been a supporter, appreciate you.
[00:16:21] Chelsey Donn: James, we love you. Was James. The one that told us about the dog
[00:16:24] Trey Gerrald: Yes. The flies.
[00:16:26] Trey Gerrald: Yes.
[00:16:27] Chelsey Donn: All right. Yeah. James, every time I see someone that hasn't picked up, I think of you. That means anything. Um, no, I love Thank you. And, and also everybody leave a live review. That was so fun. We love hearing your opinions.
[00:16:42] Chelsey Donn: As we said, 1-850-REVIEW-0. And with that in mind, let's hear some more opinions.
[00:16:48] Trey Gerrald: I love it. Let's do
[00:16:49] Chelsey Donn: Please as you know, we are your trustee, Review! Queens. We each bring in a review from the internet that we feel needs to be inspected.
[00:16:56] Trey Gerrald: read you a review. We break it down to. We rate the impact of that said Review! on a scale from one to five crowns. This is a very Regal process that we have coined called
[00:17:08] VOICEOVER: Assess That Kvetch!.
[00:17:09] Chelsey Donn: And you are up first today,RQ-T. Let's hear it.
[00:17:13] Trey Gerrald: I'm up first. Batter's up. Is that a free batter
[00:17:16] Chelsey Donn: Take it away. Clean.
[00:17:20] Sunless Tanner 1 Star Review
[00:17:20] VOICEOVER: Review That Review.
[00:17:24] Trey Gerrald: All right. So today I picked a product that, um, I do personally have experience with. Um, today I have a one star review from amazon.com for a sunless Tanner. The specific one is the Alba Botanica... is that Jessica Alba's company?
[00:17:47] Chelsey Donn: It sounds like it, but I don't want to claim that
[00:17:49] Trey Gerrald: Because it was all about
[00:17:50] Chelsey Donn: company or is that
[00:17:52] Trey Gerrald: oh, good point. Yes. And isn't that for babies? Okay. This has nothing to do with Jessica Alba.
[00:17:57] Trey Gerrald: called Alba. Botanica.
[00:17:59] Chelsey Donn: this has nothing to do with Jessica Alba at all.
[00:18:03] Trey Gerrald: That's going to be our title. has nothing to do with just call, but, okay. This is written by Kristin M And Kristin M's subject is actually pretty long and this is all caps, no refunds, exclamation mark husband, comma quote. It smells like caps urine.
[00:18:22] Chelsey Donn: um,
[00:18:23] Trey Gerrald: Stunk up everything washed bedding and stuffed animal, all upper case.
[00:18:30] Trey Gerrald: First
[00:18:31] Chelsey Donn: That's a lot for a title.
[00:18:33] Trey Gerrald: Kristen M really wants us to know. And this is Kristen M's one star Amazon review for Alba Botanica, Sunless Tanner.
[00:18:43] Trey Gerrald: Warning. I tried to return this product, but received a message that there are no refunds. I didn't see that note when I bought it, but I just looked on the Amazon product page.
[00:18:56] Trey Gerrald: And I see the note now. Bummer. This product smells like a Hawaiian day, right out of the tube. But within about 30 seconds of putting it on my leg, a putrid smell developed, which then permeated the air. My husband walked into the room and said, quote, caps, yuck. What is that? Smell? It smells like urine quote. Oh, that's me.
[00:19:26] Trey Gerrald: Quote you pee. No it's tanning cream. It stinks, huh? With a crunched up face quote, all caps. Yes. This urine smell got everywhere, even though I only put it on my legs. I can't imagine the trouble I would have been in. If I put it on my whole body or God forbid my face. I mistakenly thought that the smell would go away overnight.
[00:20:00] Trey Gerrald: So I went to bed. Oh my goodness. What an awful sleep. We felt like we were sleeping in a urinal. We toughed it out because I really wanted a beautiful tan parentheses. My skin is alabaster. What a mistake? By the morning, the stench multiplied and it was on everything. Screw the tan. I stink. I jumped into the shower and scrubbed my legs with a washcloth.
[00:20:30] Trey Gerrald: And so three times in a row and they still stunk. I had to wash my sheets and blanket parentheses, even though they were fresh the night before. And hand-wash my precious stuffed animal parentheses. Yes. I sleep with a stuffed animal quote, poor pinky. I'm sorry, girl. Even two weeks later, the faint smell of urine saturates my nostrils.
[00:20:59] Trey Gerrald: I get migraine attacks from smells. So that sucks. If you are sensitive to smell. Taps do not buy this product. I will say my legs looked tan, but who cares? How nice your tan looks. If everyone you encounter thinks you peed yourself.
[00:21:21] Chelsey Donn: Okay.
[00:21:23] Trey Gerrald: I would just never think. Change my bedding and then put sunless Tanner on. I mean, Kristen lives their life, but like if I was going to be putting lotiony stuff on or anything on, like, I, I wouldn't want to do that right on top of fresh linen, but that's my fault.
[00:21:38] Chelsey Donn: Right. Well, here's I guess the larger question within that is what is the expectation of a sunless Tanner? Because. I've ever seen a sunless Tanner or anyone that uses some less Tanner, all of their stuff is just covered in sunless Tanner. In fact, I won't call this person out, but when I was in college, I was an apprentice at Williamstown, which was an amazing summer, but we had to do a lot of jobs.
[00:22:11] Trey Gerrald: Like Allison Janney.
[00:22:12] Chelsey Donn: Yes, but I went and was cleaning someone's room, who had a character that was supposed to have like a sunburn. So he was wearing sunless Tanner all the time. And I had to change the sheets every single night. Because they were that gross. And he like, he was like, if I'm gonna wear this sunless Tanner, I need somebody to change my sheets regularly.
[00:22:33] Chelsey Donn: So I'm just curious, what is the expectation? Cause I feel like it's a little bit of a, like playing in the devil's playground.
[00:22:40] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. I mean, my first thought about some of those Tanner, which I do have experience with, because I am Scottish.
[00:22:45] Chelsey Donn: you are alabaster
[00:22:47] Trey Gerrald: I am not even alabaster alabaster. I'm see-through. That's all
[00:22:52] Chelsey Donn: I know.
[00:22:53] Trey Gerrald: used to be called, I used to be called powder. Uh, no, I'm just kidding. No, but like is my first thought is how brown your gets.
[00:23:01] Trey Gerrald: Yeah.
[00:23:01] Chelsey Donn: gloves.
[00:23:03] Trey Gerrald: And I do know that like you, it does like come off cause you're just putting tent onto your scan, so
[00:23:11] Chelsey Donn: Right. So it's like, obviously some of it's going to come off. That's not really the main point. Obviously the main point of the
[00:23:16] Chelsey Donn: is the smell. So I'm going to talk about the smell. My first thought is that it sort of reminds me a little bit of the manic panic Review! with the reaction from the husband. I'm wondering a little bit about the power of suggestion. And if know, Kristin M in fact would have thought that, that it smelled so bad from urine. Had the husband not had such a large reaction. It seems like to me, the process of this heightened reaction. the domino really began when the husband identified the smell.
[00:23:50] Chelsey Donn: In fact, when Kristen originally talks about the dialogue that she had with her husband and he makes his face, she says, what? Like what, like, what are you. What are you talking about? Right. So obviously at that point, if we're to follow the narrative, as soon as the husband became impacted, which is when I assume maybe some embarrassment layered onto Kristen's experience, that was when all of a sudden everything went to a 100, you know?
[00:24:18] Trey Gerrald: I, I do think there's evidence for that. My counterpoint is, does that matter? Because if there is an old. Either you pick up on it or someone else picks up on it. It is bad, but I even think reverse wise, if it smells like a Hawaiian day, that's artificial and it like, I don't want any smell.
[00:24:41] Chelsey Donn: I just think it's interesting that at the end of the day, you know, Kristen did admit that it worked and that a good tan, you know, so I'm just wondering. You know how we discuss with Nair, like near has a terrible smell, but at the end of the day, it takes the hair off. So it's like this trade off exchange that we do where it's like, all right.
[00:25:03] Chelsey Donn: If I want to be lazy and just put cream on my body instead of shaving. Then I need to deal with the smell, right? So I wonder if like your average, you know, self tin or user, maybe their tolerance for the smell is actually a little bit higher because they can see no pun intended or pun intended actually the pot of gold at the end of the Right.
[00:25:27] Trey Gerrald: That was like pod on two ways.
[00:25:29] Trey Gerrald: Wait,
[00:25:29] Trey Gerrald: you're really bringing a really great point up, which I wasn't sure if I should include or not, but I did do a little, I was tickled by the Review!. So I,
[00:25:39] Trey Gerrald: I looked up other reviews from Kristen M and Kristin really, really mentions this, um, sensitivity to.
[00:25:49] Trey Gerrald: Producing migraines and multiple reviews. I, it seems like this might be something that is leading and Kristin's experience of life.
[00:25:57] Chelsey Donn: Sure.
[00:25:58] Trey Gerrald: So that also makes me wonder if,
[00:26:01] Chelsey Donn: If we trust her as like an average.
[00:26:04] Trey Gerrald: if that makes it a typical experience or if this is something that follows Kristin's experience of life around.
[00:26:10] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, I think that is interesting. And I think that is something to consider because I do think that there are people that probably are not that sensitive. It sounds like Kristen and her
[00:26:19] Trey Gerrald: the husbands.
[00:26:20] Chelsey Donn: very, very sensitive. And like, I, I do think the power of suggestion is playing in the exacerbate. I mean, come on, like we scrubbed our body forward.
[00:26:30] Chelsey Donn: Like, it just seems like a very dramatic, you know, does it say anywhere in the description, like scentless odorless, scentless all natural. Like anything that like implies that this product would be the one that I'm going to choose. If I am a little bit sensitive to smells.
[00:26:47] Trey Gerrald: It doesn't say anything about smell, but it does say plant-based and cruelty-free
[00:26:52] Chelsey Donn: Okay.
[00:26:52] Trey Gerrald: natural looking results. Golden tanning without the sun. It doesn't say anything about scent or odor.
[00:26:59] Chelsey Donn: Right. Another thing that's interesting is I don't know, like what do you think about the whole return policy thing?
[00:27:06] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, that is interesting. I feel like we don't really cover that a lot on the podcast, but that has a lot of reviews on Amazon specifically. Honestly, I don't know. I feel like this isn't Neutrogena. I don't know the, I don't know the line of all, but like, I don't know what else they make, but like it isn't,
[00:27:24] Chelsey Donn: a smaller mom and popper, smaller batch company, they can't afford to have people using the product, not liking it. And then I'm return,
[00:27:33] Trey Gerrald: also, this is a four ounce.
[00:27:37] Chelsey Donn: oh, get the heck out of here.
[00:27:38] Trey Gerrald: I know that's another part of it. But to your last point, I do think Kristen's experience is valuable. I feel like Kristen goes both extremes with truthful and shady. I think Kristen delves into both pots of gold and truthful shitty, but ultimately, like, I don't think the Christians necessarily Karen A'.,
[00:27:56] Trey Gerrald: but. I don't think that the return thing, I think it's good to know. I think there's value that they're leading with like just heads up. It's gonna, it smelled for me and you can't return it. The spelling and grammar is pretty great. I mean, there's not really issues here. I think. B I don't, I, I'm not sure if it's typical.
[00:28:16] Trey Gerrald: I don't think that I have such a sensitivity to odor as Kristin does. I don't really experience that, but you sort of mentioned that you get migrants. So there's some, there's some value there. The humor I love that we find out about pinky
[00:28:29] Chelsey Donn: he has.
[00:28:30] Trey Gerrald: you know, when the name they had to have, let's like, you know, I think it's an entertaining Review!
[00:28:35] Chelsey Donn: I LOL at the, my face E.
[00:28:38] Trey Gerrald: E. Yeah, I, you know, I think that there is a large impact for me here because I'm entertained by Krista and I even went on a Kristin voyage. I wanted to find other reviews.
[00:28:52] Chelsey Donn: right.
[00:28:52] Trey Gerrald: So I'm curious about the deal breaker.
[00:28:55] Chelsey Donn: I just feel like if I read this Review! I might be like, okay, good to know what smells good to know what stains good to know. Like I'm going to need to wash everything, whatever, but, and lives a great town. So like, would that make me not want to buy the product? I don't know. And how much should that weigh in?
[00:29:14] Chelsey Donn: I'm not sure.
[00:29:15] Trey Gerrald: Well I've questioned as well. Cause it does make me think. I need to look and see if other people are struggling with the odor. I'm also just really back to the original point about influence from the spouse, because we do know that the husband is willing to tolerate Kristin snuggling, pinky. So maybe they're at their threshold for tolerating things with Kristen.
[00:29:36] Chelsey Donn: Pinky was like, it really filled the.
[00:29:38] Trey Gerrald: you have pinky, we can't have.
[00:29:40] Chelsey Donn: I mean, listen, I think that Kristen should be able to sleep with pinky Kristin once asleep sleep with pinky. I think that that's okay. I think it's nice that she, um, is opening up with vulnerability about being an adult with a stuffed animal. I don't have a problem with that.
[00:29:57] Chelsey Donn: All right. I think I'm ready to cry on Chris then. Are you trying, is there anything we're not considering before the crowning that we
[00:30:03] Trey Gerrald: I don't think so.
[00:30:05] Trey Gerrald: All right. Let's get to the other side of this Rambo in crown out. So Chelsey and I each have our own set of one to five crown cards and then an effort to be fair and not influence one another. We will simultaneously reveal our rating.
[00:30:19] VOICEOVER: The Queens are Tabulating.
[00:30:26] Chelsey Donn: Okay, I'm holding up three crowns. Trey is holding up four crowns for Kristin M. I'm doing a three crowns cause it's a little above middle of the road for me. There were no spelling errors, got a little bit of a chuckle out of it. That's where most of the points are coming from. I don't know if this is a deal breaker and I'm a little weary of the whole power of influence and allowing our husbands to kind of define our experience of a product that we're ultimately using for our own kind of self-love.
[00:30:55] Chelsey Donn: So with that sort of, trepidation with the authenticity, I decided to go with three crowns. How about you? Why four for Kristin?
[00:31:03] Trey Gerrald: Because ultimately I was charmed and I feel like it's a valid experience. It makes me want to do a little more research, which makes me think that there is a lot of stock in this Review! and also that, like, it did work, you know, but it was stinky and. Oh, ultimately pointing out that there's no refund.
[00:31:26] Trey Gerrald: Like if, if Kristen didn't catch that and they were sort of suckered, that keeps me from being suckered. So that's why I said four. I, I didn't give all five crowns because I'm not sure that everyone finds it to be so stinky. So that's why I said four, because I think the impact is relatively high.
[00:31:43] Chelsey Donn: Wow. I mean, thanks, Kristin, em, for contributing to today's episode of Review That Review, we appreciate your opinion, and we hope that pinkie survive the Washington.
[00:31:54] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. Yeah. Long pinky.
[00:31:58] Chelsey Donn: Yes,
[00:31:59] Trey Gerrald: All right, so let's take a quick break. And when we get back, we can get into Chelsey's Review!
[00:32:05] Chelsey Donn: the army.
[00:32:06] Trey Gerrald: did you catch that? Ida Tanner Review! for our St. Patrick.
[00:32:10] Chelsey Donn: What does that have to do to say?
[00:32:12] Trey Gerrald: Because Irish people are pale.
[00:32:13] Chelsey Donn: I, as you were our pale. Oh, well I hope that mine doesn't have a weird double entendre, but we'll get there shortly. I don't know. Maybe.
[00:32:26] VOICEOVER: Hold your crown. We'll be right back.
[00:32:54] 32:38 AD[00:32:54] 32:40 Meryl-Go-Round
[00:32:54] Trey Gerrald: I was trying to do that with an Irish accent anyway, Irish. Oh, Laurie it's game time. All right. It's time to take a quick little speed. Spin on the matter of go round. Can you do it?
[00:33:07] Chelsey Donn: Not even close. I'm not even going to embarrass
[00:33:10] Trey Gerrald: Are may pots of gold, met R
[00:33:14] Chelsey Donn: I can't, I sound pirate. Everything just sounds like a buyer. It, when I do it, heres the Dale. '
[00:33:22] VOICEOVER: I don't feel like an icon. Most of the days, I feel like 'I can't!' That's with an, A'..
[00:33:31] Chelsey Donn: Trey. And I have each picked a rotten scathing, pithy One-Star-Zinger and with 30 seconds on the clock, we'll take turns, trying to recite the singer in as many genres as possible.
[00:33:44] Trey Gerrald: Just like queen Merrill, who does it all.
[00:33:47] Chelsey Donn: Oh. Or the clock runs out.
[00:33:49] Trey Gerrald: That's good.
[00:33:50] Chelsey Donn: I tried.
[00:33:51] Trey Gerrald: right, Chelsey, what is your zinger for today?
[00:33:53] Chelsey Donn: All right. So my zinger for today is actually a good reads. One star review written by Chris about the Bible, and it says too much sex and violence for me.
[00:34:10] Trey Gerrald: That's really funny. Oh.
[00:34:13] Chelsey Donn: man.
[00:34:14] Trey Gerrald: All right. Well, I'm at a strap. You us.
[00:34:18] Chelsey Donn: Ooh, such a. God, I don't know. Well, let's do it.
[00:34:24] Trey Gerrald: Alright, here we go.
[00:34:25] Chelsey Donn: Okay.
[00:34:26] VOICEOVER: Three, Two, One,
[00:34:29] Trey Gerrald: Hora
[00:34:35] Chelsey Donn: much Sachs. Oh wow. we go. we've just another accident. Um, too much sex violence for me,
[00:34:42] Trey Gerrald: TLC reality show
[00:34:44] Chelsey Donn: sex and violence for me.
[00:34:46] Trey Gerrald: televangelist matches. Show
[00:34:51] Chelsey Donn: Ooh, much sex and violence for me
[00:34:54] Trey Gerrald: lifetime
[00:34:56] Chelsey Donn: much sex and violence me.
[00:34:59] Trey Gerrald: drama, 4 6, 7.
[00:35:04] Chelsey Donn: God. I like recovered from that. Uh, accent debacle. Let's hear your zinger.
[00:35:08] Trey Gerrald: job. Okay. So
[00:35:09] Chelsey Donn: Thank
[00:35:10] Trey Gerrald: I have a one star review from walmart.com for the Jemmy six foot air-blown inflatable St. Patrick's day leprechaun, G dash 4 8 0 0 0.
[00:35:26] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God. Is that a super Calla?
[00:35:28] VOICEOVER: Supercalifragilistic.
[00:35:32] Trey Gerrald: I just think it's really funny. The idea of like having an inflatable decoration in their front yard for St. Patrick's day.
[00:35:38] Chelsey Donn: Some people are very into the wand decorations. Look, when you say
[00:35:41] Trey Gerrald: All right. So this was written by Velda
[00:35:45] Chelsey Donn: Ooh. Okay.
[00:35:47] Trey Gerrald: right.
[00:35:47] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. Hi. Velda.
[00:35:49] Trey Gerrald: And velvets One-Star-Zinger is don't buy it, not happy at all.
[00:35:54] Chelsey Donn: Okay,
[00:35:55] Chelsey Donn: Just cutting straight to the point. right. Let's strap you in. Is it wrong to say to a leper con's back like A'. you're like piggybacking a leprechaun.
[00:36:06] Trey Gerrald: No. It's like my ancestors.
[00:36:07] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. You're you're. Yes, exactly. Are you ready?
[00:36:11] Trey Gerrald: I am ready.
[00:36:14] VOICEOVER: Three, Two, One, GO!.
[00:36:18] Chelsey Donn: Soap opera,
[00:36:20] Trey Gerrald: So by it not happy at all.
[00:36:23] Chelsey Donn: pop star,
[00:36:26] Trey Gerrald: Yeah,
[00:36:28] Chelsey Donn: Southern
[00:36:29] Trey Gerrald: don't jump by it. I, ain't not happy at all.
[00:36:32] Chelsey Donn: spy
[00:36:34] Trey Gerrald: Don't it. Not happy all.
[00:36:37] Chelsey Donn: auctioneer. My. Shakespeare.
[00:36:46] Trey Gerrald: to buy. I'm not happy at all.
[00:36:49] Chelsey Donn: love how your Shakespeare is always like some I don't. I always think Italian production.
[00:36:53] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. I don't know what that is.
[00:36:55] Chelsey Donn: But I like it seven, seven. We tied it's our lucky day. We're both sweaters.
[00:37:04] Trey Gerrald: There's a magic potion in our hoop.
[00:37:07] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God.
[00:37:08] Trey Gerrald: I don't know what's going on.
[00:37:10] Chelsey Donn: that.
[00:37:13] Alcatraz Island 1 Star Review
[00:37:13] VOICEOVER: Review that.
[00:37:14] VOICEOVER: Review.
[00:37:17] Trey Gerrald: Oh, Khalida. Oculi. We are back from that rousing game break and it is now your turn Chelsey to take us over the rainbow for our pot gold. Whereas your Review! from Minnesota. We don't know
[00:37:32] Chelsey Donn: Um, well, I don't know that my Review! is on theme, but, um, my review today is of Alcatraz island in San Francisco.
[00:37:41] Trey Gerrald: I've been there.
[00:37:42] Chelsey Donn: I've been to Alcatraz island. It is a Yelp review, one star from Linda J.
[00:37:50] Trey Gerrald: Not Linda.
[00:37:51] Chelsey Donn: The fly infestation on the ferries that go to and from the island daily, with thousands of people traveling back and forth needs to be finally addressed, and a conclusion needs to be made on how to handle a complete infestation that is unhealthy and unsanitary for traveling passengers. The island is invaded by flies and now the ferries are also.
[00:38:27] Chelsey Donn: It's bad, like horse stable, bad times, 10. It's not okay for the public to encounter such an infestation, especially without prior knowledge, when purchasing tickets, it is disgusting and national park and rec should be embarrassed at this point that they let the general public encounter site. Fires are attracted to decaying material, feces and garbage, and allowing them to invade an island and ferries that have visitors from all over the world and the general public landing on them, on their food, in their hair, in their mouths.
[00:39:16] Chelsey Donn: Swatting them away is disgusting. Something needs to be done. If this is going to continue to be a paying or, and landmark, it is not okay. Regardless of any reason or any bird life, a priority needs to be made to come to some kind of agreement on cleaning up the infestation, as well as leaving the birds in peace.
[00:39:48] Trey Gerrald: Oh, my gosh.
[00:39:49] Chelsey Donn: There are flies in my hair. On the benches on passengers jackets, flying around. People were covering their food, swatting them away. Thousands of flies. It is a health hazard and needs to be addressed or one passengers in advance. And the trip will not be pleasant until you get inside the jail. I don't know who maintains the park anymore, but they should be embarrassed that they take people's money and don't manage the fly infestation to an extent at all.
[00:40:23] Chelsey Donn: If they do, they're doing a really bad job, it was literally the grossest boat ride I have ever been on. And I'm like, Linda also included four photos of various, like I assume strangers, she never put their face on camera, but there are flies like all over everybody. So this is definitely.
[00:40:50] Trey Gerrald: you share them? I want to say,
[00:40:51] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So it is clear that they're not just being shady. I did also, when I was looking through reviews, see this complaint and other people's
[00:41:01] Trey Gerrald: oh, really?
[00:41:02] Chelsey Donn: I also did see mention though, maybe I should have done a little bit of deeper diving about the whole birds thing.
[00:41:08] Chelsey Donn: Do you have any idea what that means? Cause a few people were talking about
[00:41:11] Trey Gerrald: I have a, I have a lot to say about the
[00:41:13] Chelsey Donn: Oh really? Oh my God. I'm so glad. Cause I was, I was sort of forgetting.
[00:41:18] Trey Gerrald: It's really interesting that you brought this in today because I've also like within the month I listened to a three part series on Alcatraz
[00:41:25] Chelsey Donn: Oh, wow. Oh, cool. A great,
[00:41:28] Trey Gerrald: Because famously, there was the Birdman of Alcatraz who was like a prisoner who was given all of us, like bird research stuff. And they like had millions of prayer.
[00:41:37] Trey Gerrald: It was like a whole
[00:41:37] Chelsey Donn: oh,
[00:41:38] Trey Gerrald: Alcatraz. Yeah. There was even a movie, the Birdman of Alcatraz that was like an Oscar nominated film back
[00:41:43] Chelsey Donn: Oh, interesting.
[00:41:45] Trey Gerrald: So like the bird situation is a big deal.
[00:41:47] Chelsey Donn: So, what is the bird situation present debt? Like there's just like these birds are still around hoping the Birdman is going to be there or like what?
[00:41:56] Trey Gerrald: I do think that the birds are, are part of the lore of, of Alcatraz that is accurate to say, okay, so Patreon can see I'm pulling up. We're going to look zoom in at these pictures of the flies. Okay. So
[00:42:08] Chelsey Donn: mean, that's a lot of fly.
[00:42:09] Trey Gerrald: I'm, I'm pointing out 1, 2, 3, 4, there's four on one woman's shoulder and she has two on her
[00:42:14] Chelsey Donn: Two,. Yeah,
[00:42:15] Trey Gerrald: I don't know the gender, I guess maybe there's one right there.
[00:42:18] Trey Gerrald: Or is that a button? I don't see flies on the second photo.
[00:42:21] Chelsey Donn: I think it's just a show. That one, I think is more just about like the expression of disgust,
[00:42:26] Trey Gerrald: Or the sun in their
[00:42:26] Chelsey Donn: like, and also just trying to like, I don't know, shade myself.
[00:42:29] Trey Gerrald: there's like six on the, this person's back. And then it looks like there's one at the top. Maybe you have this other, I mean, yes. Okay.
[00:42:36] Chelsey Donn: too
[00:42:36] Trey Gerrald: have it is, it is gross. I do think it's valuable to be aware. There's a fly issue.
[00:42:42] Chelsey Donn: Right.
[00:42:43] Trey Gerrald: This is written in 2017. I went to Alcatraz, I think in 2018 or 2019, I don't remember flies at all.
[00:42:51] Chelsey Donn: I'll interesting. I was wondering, so this was written in September. Do you remember what month you were there?
[00:42:57] Trey Gerrald: September it was
[00:42:59] Chelsey Donn: Wow. Really interesting. I went when I was in high school. So that was a long time ago. That was probably around 2004. I don't remember flies, but.
[00:43:12] Trey Gerrald: This is really great. Review! because I am of several minds here. I think that. Linda has a great point because you go to Disney world Disneyland and they have sprayed and there's a whole thing so that there aren't flies and bugs. So I recognize the point of like, if this is. National park and rack. There needs to be some sort of measure taken.
[00:43:38] Trey Gerrald: If people are having multiple, multiple flies landing on them, that's an issue. I, I get that point. I think the Karen aspect for me, it is like so much of the Alcatraz experience is getting on the ferry and it's like tons of lines and tons of people like, so it is the ferry is part of it. And I think there might even be like, uh, videos and voiceover when. But what's comical to me, the experience of being at Alcatraz was really upsetting to me. it's like a peek into a very dark side of humanity. What are human rights, the whole debate about rehabilitation versus punishment. All of that is like very much present.
[00:44:22] Chelsey Donn: Did you go into the solitary confinement?
[00:44:25] Trey Gerrald: I did.
[00:44:25] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, me too. I was scary.
[00:44:27] Trey Gerrald: It's and it's also like to recognize the amount of murder that had happened and you're entering in, you're standing on that soil.
[00:44:34] Trey Gerrald: Like so much of it was like dark. it stayed with me for awhile. So it's kind of laughable to me that you are experiencing
[00:44:42] Chelsey Donn: You're complaining about the
[00:44:44] Trey Gerrald: talking about flying.
[00:44:45] Chelsey Donn: Sure.
[00:44:46] Trey Gerrald: But I, I also get the points. Like we are visiting it as a landmark and we are paying and someone is taking that money and it is PR they're profiting.
[00:44:55] Trey Gerrald: So maybe take care of the flight situation. I don't remember it being there. So maybe, maybe because of Linda, maybe Alcatraz
[00:45:03] Chelsey Donn: you're right. Maybe they read Linda's Review! and then they were like, we got to get a handle on this. Linda's very upset.
[00:45:09] Trey Gerrald: and then I also thought it was interesting that they brought up the point twice. About flies and hair and, and people's food covering people's food. Both of those points are mentioned twice.
[00:45:19] Chelsey Donn: Oh, yeah. Uh, well, that's, that's my biggest complaint about the Review! in general is like the lack of edit. And again, like is the reiteration of the same point over and over again, more effective. I venture not, I think that there is like a strong message in here that could have been made if we just.
[00:45:37] Chelsey Donn: Set our points and set our points with strength and dignity. When you start repeating it over and over again, it just, it loses its impact. And it does start to feel kind of Cairney cause it's like, okay, like kill your darlings. But like, you know, pick the one that you want to go for that you feel like most demonstrates your point.