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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 41: "Sunless Tanner / Alcatraz Island"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 41: "Sunless Tanner / Alcatraz Island"


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hi

[00:00:31] Trey Gerrald: Well, hello, welcome to Review That. Review the podcast dedicated to reviewing

[00:00:38] Chelsey Donn: reviews. We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic, masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:49] Trey Gerrald: that's Chelsey Donn,

[00:00:51] Chelsey Donn: And that's Trey Gerrald.

[00:00:53] Trey Gerrald: and together we are.

[00:00:55] VOICEOVER: The

[00:00:55] VOICEOVER: Review Queens.

[00:00:59] Trey Gerrald: To support our show while getting a bonus exclusive content, including our exciting members. Only after show podcast, visit our patreon at Chelsey. I don't see you wearing green it's St. Patrick's day, week. I'm going to have to pinch you from New York all the way over to LA.

[00:01:23] Chelsey Donn: It's laundry day. I don't know what to say. I guess all, all my green clothes are dirty. You'll have to forgive me.

[00:01:31] Trey Gerrald: Have you ever heard of that? The pinching on St. Patrick's day?

[00:01:33] Chelsey Donn: No, I don't know. I'm a Jew. My, I got my cheeks pinched and stuff all the time by my grandmother. Is it similar to that?

[00:01:40] Trey Gerrald: No. So this is like a thing, like if you don't wear green on St Patrick's day, then you can be pinched. I don't know.

[00:01:48] Trey Gerrald: If that's like a Southern thing, I don't know where that came from. But growing up, if you didn't wear green on St. Patrick's day, you would get pinched.

[00:01:56] Chelsey Donn: By like strangers

[00:01:58] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. Anyone can paint. This is completely new to you.

[00:02:01] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, I guess, you know what I was thinking, like when I was little, it was all about the Shamrock shake at McDonald's. Did you have the Shamrock shake growing up?

[00:02:11] Trey Gerrald: I've heard of it. I've never had it.

[00:02:13] Chelsey Donn: I think basically a vanilla shake with green food coloring, but it was great. Maybe there was a little mint moment.

[00:02:19] Chelsey Donn: I can't remember. And then, you know, obviously in college we would go to like an Irish pub. So I think in accordance to the celebration I would participate, you know, so I don't, maybe I was just never caught without a green shirt on until right now.

[00:02:34] Trey Gerrald: I do know the Jews have been oppressed by everyone, but have, has Ireland ever specifically been antagonistic to Jews? Like I wonder if Jewish culture, you just don't really celebrate St. Patrick's day as

[00:02:46] Chelsey Donn: Well, it is a Saint, right?

[00:02:49] Trey Gerrald: Yeah. St. Patrick.

[00:02:50] Chelsey Donn: So it's not particularly Jewish though. I can't, I can't speak to the anti-Semitism of it all. Unfortunately. Anyway,

[00:02:59] Trey Gerrald: interesting time.

[00:03:01] Chelsey Donn: I know. How was your week otherwise?

[00:03:04] Trey Gerrald: My birthday was last week, so I had a fantastic birthday. It's very exciting to be in this new age. I just feel so much more intelligent and I feel so much more lived livid. Let know well li live at live ed life. I'm very wise. Now I'm giving out life consultations for people I'm so livid living in.

[00:03:29] Chelsey Donn: but not to be confused with livid as in mad.

[00:03:32] Trey Gerrald: Well, I think there's a small level of limitedness. That's always vibrating internally for me,

[00:03:37] Chelsey Donn: Oh, wow. We'll work on

[00:03:38] Trey Gerrald: even live more live ad with an E I know the E S substitution is difficult because I'm Southern already to begin with and I'm making it even worse. rec I recognized,

[00:03:49] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. It is interesting how suddenly it's like your birthday and then you're like, I'm so much older, you know, like really nothing's changed

[00:03:56] Trey Gerrald: just a day, one more day yesterday.

[00:03:58] Chelsey Donn: one more day.

[00:03:59] Trey Gerrald: But how was your how's your life?

[00:04:01] Chelsey Donn: Miley was good. I had a friend visiting from out of town from New York who I hadn't seen, you know, since right. Like immediately before the apocalypse.

[00:04:10] Chelsey Donn: So it was nice to see her. Yeah. We, uh, splurged on a couple of nice dinners and I drove downtown, which I vowed never to do, you know, but we, we all.

[00:04:21] Trey Gerrald: be doing that.

[00:04:22] Chelsey Donn: I know I'm going to be doing that very shortly. Yeah. There are rare exceptions to my no downtown role, but very close friends and podcasts conventions are amongst

[00:04:35] Trey Gerrald: The

[00:04:35] Chelsey Donn: the exceptions.

[00:04:37] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. So my week was good

[00:04:39] Lodge A Complaint!

[00:04:39] Chelsey Donn: and I feel like we've already discussed that there's livid newness within you. Trey, do you have a complaint you want to Lodge?

[00:04:46] Trey Gerrald: I really, really need to

[00:04:49] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint.

[00:04:50] Trey Gerrald: today because, uh, and this is going to get a little dark and heavy. We usually, these are silly, but I recently listened to two separate podcasts. Well, one was a multi-part series. It was four episodes. Each episode was about two and a half hours. And then I listened to an individual while I'm thinking like, there's no need, like, I don't need to like keep listening to this case.

[00:05:11] Trey Gerrald: Another one that was three hours long today. I want to Lodge A Complaint about why have we not solved the JonBenet Ramsey? I'm livid about this. so clear that we aren't being told the full information and lightheartedness aside, it has become like one of the highest profile, true crime cases in the United States of America.

[00:05:34] Trey Gerrald: It within hours, became tabloid fodder. And I don't understand why we haven't solved. The Boulder police department on many instances have eliminated any sort of suspect that is not inside of the family. And the family was very influential, very huge donors and the city town of Boulder. So I think all fingers are pointing to very specific individuals that are not outside intruders.

[00:06:06] Trey Gerrald: And I just think this was a little child. Who is deserving of justice and every single day that this case is not solved. It is a mockery to the justice system of the United States of America. Now back to levity, like I don't think it will ever be solved I'm mad about it. We need to solve the JonBenet Ramsey case.

[00:06:26] Trey Gerrald: Is there no justice? Insane. I know it's a little departure from our comedy podcast, but I'm mad about it. I've also, I've also inundated myself with so much about it. So that's why it's very ripe and fresh.

[00:06:40] Chelsey Donn: It's the front of the

[00:06:41] Trey Gerrald: But I do think that like JonBenet, Ramsey, just the name has a little bit of like pop culture levity.

[00:06:48] Trey Gerrald: And I think that that's inappropriate. The case needs to be solved. I'm lodging that complaint officially. It's in the box.

[00:06:54] Chelsey Donn: Wow, loud and clear. I hear you. I agree. I've I've also watched a documentary, the whole thing with the pineapple, all of that. I've seen it all. There's many theories. I just think like in general, and again, we're not going to get too deep into this because that's not the point of the show. JonBenet Ramsey's cases, very front and center, but there are so many cases out there that have not been solved.

[00:07:16] Chelsey Donn: That be that we feel like there's no evidence out there that is just blatantly obvious. And whether it be because of financial, social, racial influence, these cases are being sidelined. This one has obviously been sidelined for a long time, but there are plenty of other cases that have been sidelined as well.

[00:07:36] Chelsey Donn: And maybe not given the proper. Yeah, profiled and, and like judicial due diligence that it deserves. So I think that's like a larger complaint I can definitely get behind is like, what is going on and why are we allowed to have this kind of corruption in our, our, uh, legal