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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 42: "Niagara Falls / Slinky"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 42: "Niagara Falls / Slinky"


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:29] Chelsey Donn: Hi!

[00:00:30] Trey Gerrald: Hi, Chelsey and hello listeners. Welcome to Review That Review! the podcast dedicated to reviewing.

[00:00:38] Chelsey Donn: Review! Reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we write and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:51] Trey Gerrald: That's Chelsey Donn,

[00:00:52] Chelsey Donn: And that's Trey Gerrald.

[00:00:54] Trey Gerrald: and together we are

[00:00:56] VOICEOVER: theReviewQueens.

[00:01:00] Trey Gerrald: To support the show while getting bonus and exclusive content, including our special members. Only after show podcast. Visit our Patreon at

[00:01:14] Trey Gerrald: Hey Chelsey girl, how's your week going?

[00:01:16] Chelsey Donn: oh, my weekend's going good. It was funny when we were doing that intro, I was having like Mary, Kate and Ashley flashbacks. Like we'll solve that crime by dinner time. Remember that we did take a photo like that. Didn't we?

[00:01:28] Trey Gerrald: we? did actually, um, double, double toil and trouble.

[00:01:31] Chelsey Donn: Exactly. Oh my God. I used to watch all those movies as a kid. Did you watch them?

[00:01:36] Trey Gerrald: Of course.

[00:01:37] Chelsey Donn: well, doc, my week's good. How's your week.

[00:01:40] Trey Gerrald: I'm having a great week and you might be able to tell on my vocal intonations here, but I have been having a little bit of, um, postnasal drip because the weather is just so constantly changing. And so I do feel like I'm a little congested, but thankfully we have some over-the-counter medications that can help with that.

[00:01:57] Trey Gerrald: And otherwise I'm slugging through and, Um,

[00:02:00] Trey Gerrald: yeah, life is really good and I'm really happy to be here.

[00:02:03] Chelsey Donn: Yeah. I feel like this podcast brought to you by, Zyrtec or, you know what I mean?

[00:02:08] Trey Gerrald: Yeah, no, no question about that. Well, all right. So why don't we jump into some complaints, Chelsey, is there anything that's just like scratching at the core of your life that you really feel like it's time to get it off your chest and

[00:02:22] Lodge A Complaint

[00:02:22] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint.

[00:02:23] Trey Gerrald: about.

[00:02:24] Chelsey Donn: Of course trey. I don't know if we talked about this. I don't really care if we did. I don't understand why the group text function

[00:02:34] Trey Gerrald: Oh, God.

[00:02:35] Chelsey Donn: doesn't have a BCC. You know, it's twenty, twenty two. We've had iPhones. I iMessage for a while. I have to update my phone all the time. Right. All kinds of things. I just updated my phone recently cause the new iPhone came out.

[00:02:50] Chelsey Donn: So now it's self-destructing as they do. And I don't understand, this seems like a very basic feature. Why is there no BCC on iMessage? I had a friend that I love very much who invited me to support him in an endeavor, which I would love to do. And I will, and he texted, I don't know, 60 of us. Okay. And I get it because at this point, maybe we don't all have everybody's email and maybe it was just easy just to click, click, click, whatever it is.

[00:03:24] Chelsey Donn: And he did respectfully say in the message, like this is a mass text, please don't respond here. Like, if you have any questions, any whatever messaged me directly, this is just like friends and family. Get this information. So I don't even blame him, but inevitably, even if people are just like Harding it, liking it, like whatever it is, being, being winged, like it is like, you would think I just won the jackpot on a slot machine for the amount of times this thing goes off.

[00:03:51] Chelsey Donn: You know what I mean?

[00:03:52] Trey Gerrald: I'm so angry. I can't even, you know how I feel about textual communication group text I can't, but I've never considered until this moment a BCC. That would be really smart because sometimes people are more private about their stuff, so they don't want, you know, other people getting their information.

[00:04:10] Trey Gerrald: But yeah, I hear you. That's a great complaint. You know, please never group text me, but if you are going to just, don't

[00:04:18] Chelsey Donn: Just don't, you know? Alright. Complaint lodged. How about you? Trey lay it on.

[00:04:23] Trey Gerrald: So I sort of have a similar vein here about other people's actions that I need to complain about. And this has become more prevalent probably since moving out of the south and into a more fast paced area.

[00:04:36] Trey Gerrald: But I really, really hate it when people. Get to the register and they don't know what they want to order, or they aren't ready with their money or they have questions or they're on the phone or they're not paying attention, especially when you've been in a long line. Why haven't you been using that time to prep?

[00:04:56] Chelsey Donn: Yes.

[00:04:57] Trey Gerrald: if you're going to go to like shake shack, you're not going to get a certain lasagna. You're going to get something that shake shack offers. You probably already have some sort of idea of what it is you'll be ordering. So why do you then have to be like, Hmm, what is it that I want also, like, if you're at CVS, This should just be a quick transaction.

[00:05:19] Trey Gerrald: Why are you like asking questions? It pains me, especially at a coffee shop. That's why I love mobile ordering, but like, if you don't know what your order is, why did you not think about it prior? It's just very inconsiderate. I understand there's a delicate balance between being patient and letting people live their own lives experiences, but there is also just, it's an inconsiderate trait to not be concerned with being at least on top of the clock.

[00:05:48] Trey Gerrald: When it's your turn. That's all. I really, it really bugs me.

[00:05:52] Chelsey Donn: Uh, I come lately completely hear you. Interestingly, I'm of two minds about this

[00:05:59] Trey Gerrald: knew you would be.

[00:05:59] Chelsey Donn: here. Well, here's where I am. I am 1000% with you on like the stop clogging up the chain. There is no reason to clog. I am in there. I know my order like that is it. And then we're out and let's get the next person. The second way, I will just empathize with people, especially with New York city is I remember when I first moved to New York, I used to get so stressed out because I remember when I went to chopped salad for the first time and it was to read the menu while I was online and it was moving so fast and I could tell everybody knew what they were getting.

[00:06:39] Chelsey Donn: Cause they clearly ordered. Every single day. And I had never been there before and there's someone behind me going like, come on, I ready. And I was just like, oh, I don't know what I'm doing, but I gotta be honest. It took me like about two weeks and then I was the c'mon already lady. So I get it.

[00:06:56] Trey Gerrald: No. I recognize that, especially if there is a very specific menu with tons of tweaks and options, any of the, even like a subway blaze pizza or yogurt or any of that stuff where it's, you're customizing it. That is very intimidating. I recognize that.

[00:07:12] Chelsey Donn: but other than that, I gray, like let's get on with it.

[00:07:16] Trey Gerrald: Well, at least be like aware that other people are waiting, especially when it.

[00:07:21] Trey Gerrald: comes to like Starbucks. Most Americans understand Starbucks at this point. We've had it long enough. You don't need to hem and haw. Okay.

[00:07:29] Chelsey Donn: Completely agree. Good complaint. Trey.

[00:07:32] Trey Gerrald: And also it reminds me of when I complained about, or maybe it was Emily, I think it was Emily

[00:07:37] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God, elevator or the escalator escalator.

[00:07:40] Trey Gerrald: there's a compromise about the escalator. If you're going to like take us in moment to not walk, move to the right side so that people that are in a hurry can brush past you on the left side.

[00:07:51] Trey Gerrald: You know, it's like maybe take a little time to look at the menu before you get in the line, if you're that overwhelmed, know, anyway. All right. Well, I appreciate this opportunity to get that off my chest. It is. Part of the liveness that lives inside of me. So, you know, I feel some levity now. So why Chelsey?

[00:08:10] Trey Gerrald: Why don't we get into some other people's live witness? Are you ready to jump into some online Review!?

[00:08:15] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God. I would love that. As you know, we are your trusty Review! Queens. We each bring in our view from the internet that we feel needs to be inspected.

[00:08:25] Trey Gerrald: We read you the Review!, we break it down and then we rate the impact of the review on a scale from zero to five crowns. It is a very Regal process that we call.

[00:08:35] VOICEOVER: Assess That Kvetch