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TRANSCRIPT of Episode 43: "Anal Bleach / Keto Brownie Mix"

Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald
Episode 43: "Anal Bleach / Keto Brownie Mix"


*Please Pardon any spelling errors!

THEME SONG: [00:00:00] Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Whose views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are comin' for you!

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

[00:00:30] Chelsey Donn: Hello!

[00:00:31] Trey Gerrald: Well, hello and hello listeners. Welcome to Review That Review! The podcast dedicated to reviewing...

[00:00:39] Chelsey Donn: Reviews! We're just like Siskel and Ebert, only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious scathing and sometimes suspicious online reviews.

[00:00:50] Trey Gerrald: That voice is Chelsey Donn

[00:00:52] Chelsey Donn: and that voice is Trey Gerrald.

[00:00:55] Trey Gerrald: And when we come together, we are

[00:00:57] VOICEOVER: the Review Queens.

[00:01:04] Trey Gerrald: So to support the show while getting bonus and exclusive content, including something you're going to hear a lot about today, our very special members only after-show podcast. Visit our patreon Page at!

[00:01:18] Trey Gerrald: Chelsey. It has been a very exciting week, huh?

[00:01:22] Chelsey Donn: Beyond we are right now at the podcast movement, evolutions convention.

[00:01:27] Chelsey Donn: It we're Baby, convention goers. This is our first time!

[00:01:31] Trey Gerrald: It's been so much fun.

[00:01:32] Chelsey Donn: It has been, it's really been fun. I've only been to dental conventions before. So I used to just go around and collect toothbrushes. And now I went around and collected business cards.

[00:01:41] Trey Gerrald: A lot of QR codes,

[00:01:42] Chelsey Donn: a lot of QR codes. Geez. What would we do without.

[00:01:46] Trey Gerrald: Yes, we are here. We are together in the same room, which you'll see if you're watching us on our Patreon. Uh, we are in a hotel room, very chic, the JW Marriott.

[00:01:57] Chelsey Donn: Oh my God. So chic, but maybe not all people think that we might hear a little bit more about that in the after-show to sayin...

[00:02:02] Trey Gerrald: dun dun dun, and we are sharing one singular mic. Hopefully if you're just listening, you're not. Even notice, but if you're watching us, it's going to be very funny. Cause we're passing the mic back and forth.

[00:02:15] Lodge A Complaint!

[00:02:15] Trey Gerrald: Chelsey, do you think that it's time to maybe

[00:02:18] VOICEOVER: Lodge A Complaint?

[00:02:19] Chelsey Donn: Yes, I do. I'm so glad that we're able to do this because you know, We've been here at the convention and I've been holding onto this complaint for a little while. And I'm just going to go ahead and say it. I went off, I did it. I went off on customer service at Apple. I ordered a dongle. Do you know what a dongle is?

[00:02:36] Trey Gerrald: Dongle?

[00:02:39] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, a dongle, a dongle. I don't know if it's really called. I mean, it is called this a dongle is something you put into like a USBC to turn it into USB compatible. So it's that little plug extender thing that makes everything compatible. Anyway, Trey is looking at me like the word dongle.

[00:02:58] Trey Gerrald: I wonder who decided to name it dongle. That's the worst sounding name?

[00:03:03] Chelsey Donn: It's not the best name, but once you learn it, you just can't stop saying it. So I ordered this dongle from apple and I paid extra to have it overnighted. Okay. And then I got a message. It's not going to arrive overnight, which already is a little bit upsetting, admittedly. So, and then I went away, for the weekend and I saw that it had arrived.

[00:03:24] Chelsey Donn: And then I got home and I saw that there was a box and it said, Like Jordan, McGarrigle okay. With a totally different address. And I thought, as far as I know my name's not Jordan she's from , but it did say it was from apple. So I opened it to find that there was a magic mouse inside. Okay. Not the dongle.

[00:03:47] Chelsey Donn: So I call as an upstanding citizen to let them know. Well, I got Jordan's package, not mine. Report the issue still waiting on the dongle. Can I just tell you apple harassed me for multiple days to send them back, Jordan's mouse. They wanted me to give them serial information, all kinds of information.

[00:04:06] Chelsey Donn: And I went off on these people cause I was like, do not make me do your job. You made a mistake, you deliver me the wrong product. I still don't have my product. And now you want me to do all this extra work pass. They sent me like five dongles in the mail. I don't know whose fault it is, but I'm keeping it.

[00:04:22] Trey Gerrald: Wait, like five separate packages of them.

[00:04:24] Chelsey Donn: Yeah, because they called and talked to me so many times that I think they just kept putting it back in, but that's not my fault. I'm lodging a complaint, get your shit together, apple. Sorry.

[00:04:33] Trey Gerrald: I can see how those magic keyboards and the magic mouse, like those are a very high price point product for apple.

[00:04:41] Trey Gerrald: Except now I'm thinking about how expensive iPhones are. So they're not even that expensive, but it is absurd to make that error and then make you jump through several hoops to prove serial numbers, et cetera. Like, why would you be like, Hey, I saved Jordan Shamong goals. Like, like you're not going to make that name up.

[00:04:58] Trey Gerrald: Well, you know what I mean? I completely understand it is, it is making me think of a future episode that we have pre-recorded about companies delivery procedures. So make sure you stay tuned for that. And you know, this is just more verification that us as Review! Queens also experience these pans. So I feel, you know, yeah.

[00:05:22] Chelsey Donn: All right. I feel better. I got that off my chest. I've been waiting to do that for a long time. And now I want to give you trey that same opportunity. So let us know Lodge A Complaint. What's going on?

[00:05:32] Trey Gerrald: I thought you were going to say, I want to hand you the mic literally and figuratively. I really hope that you guys are watching this video because it is very, it's a very different sensation, passing a mic back and forth.

[00:05:43] Trey Gerrald: Okay. I'm going to Lodge A Complaint about something that occurred to me while I was with you. It really may becomes from my concerns from being a transplant from the south. But it's very trendy now for restaurants to serve sweetened ice tea, which I'm all about. Also, when you go and get an iced coffee, people don't account for when you pour anything, that's warm into a cup of ice, some of that ice is going to melt!

[00:06:10] Chelsey Donn: The majority, I would imagine.

[00:06:11] Trey Gerrald: So I don't, I don't understand, not accounting for the. Evaporation of some of that solid water turning to liquid water! It's I'm logic of complaint when you don't account for enough ice so that when you pour the liquid into the cup of ice, that it's still some ice making that drink ice tea or ice coffee.

[00:06:35] Trey Gerrald: It makes me so mad. I ordered a drink with ice and you haven't put enough ice in to remain in that metaphysical state of ice because the liquid was too warm. That it melted the majority of it. I don't want to drink a lukewarm iced coffee. I like my coffee hot. I like my coffee cold. I don't like my coffee somewhere in the middle.

[00:06:56] Trey Gerrald: So I'm lodging a complaint against anyone that has to scoop ice into a cop to prepare an iced beverage. Please be aware and have a little, um, eye contact with the beverage, just to see how much of the ice dissipated be respectful of what this product is titled and make sure that that's the product you're handing over.

[00:07:15] Chelsey Donn: I mean, I just think in general, the liquid has got to be colder. I mean, if the liquid were colder, then we wouldn't be melting so much. All right. So I'm glad we got those things off our chest. I feel a little bit better as always guys, please call in: 1-850-REVIEW-0. Lodge your complaints. We want to hear them.

[00:07:33] Trey Gerrald: So this week, since it has been a very special week, Chelsey and I are in the same room or in the same city, we're sharing one singular microphone. We decided that we would do something a little bit different!

[00:07:43] Chelsey Donn: That's right.

[00:07:44] Chelsey Donn: We always got to keep you on your toes. So as you know, we are your trusty Review Queens. Each week, we bring in a review from the internet that we feel needs to be inspected.

[00:07:54] Trey Gerrald: We read you the Review! break it down and rate the impact of the review on a scale from zero to five crowns. Now this part isn't seeming very different because it is a very Regal process that we coined, which we call.

[00:08:09] VOICEOVER: Assess

[00:08:09] VOICEOVER: That Kvetch,

[00:08:11] Chelsey Donn: but we also rate and review additional reviews each week on our special members only after show podcast.

[00:08:20] Trey Gerrald: That's right. We do. So. So we thought for this week's episode, it'd be really fun if we each picked one of our most absolute favorite reviews that we brought in for our after show. Which is our members only Patreon